The Good Wife Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping a Happy Husband

These are from The Good Wife Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping a Happy Husband (Ladies' Homemaker Monthly) (Ladies' Homemaker Monthly), comprising one of two parts of my first anniversary gift for Jon and Harmony. I don't think these are meant to be taken terribly seriously! I feel as if all this gives primal males an EXCUSE, if you ask me.

1. A Wife's Duty - A man's home is his castle, and as such, he ought to be treated like a king. When he returns home from a demanding eight hours on the job (or more!), he rightfully deserves a bit of pampering. It's every wife's responsibility to dote upon her hard-working spouse, to show that he is truly appreciated!

2. Recipe for Success - Just as it would be unthinkable to serve frozen TV dinners or reheated leftovers to an honored guest, these offerings should not be considered acceptable dinner fare for the man you adore. Give him a hearty homecooked meal - one that's prepared from scratch and seasoned with love. The hours you spend over a hot stove will be repaid in full when he eagerly asks for seconds!

3. Put Your Best Face Forward - Before he arrives home from work, take a few minutes to transform yourself from toiling housewife to vixen of earthly delight. Give your hair an extra shellacking of hairspray, re-apply your makeup, and trade in your housecoat for a stylish frock that shows off your figure.

4. Cleanliness... It's Next To Godliness! - Make sure the house is spotless before he's due to arrive home. Give the furniture a quick dusting, pick up any wayward toys, and make sure all unsightly laundry and ironing has been put away. Your house should be sparkling by the time he sets foot in it!

5. A Happy Homecoming - When your husband walks through the front door, take his coat and guide him to his favorite easy chair. Offer him the evening newspaper, his slippers, and a dry martini to take the edge off. If he appears fatigued or cranky from his traffic-laden commute, a relaxing foot rub or shoulder massage may be in order.

6. Greet Him With A Smile - Nothing says "Welcome home, dear" better than an ear-to-ear expression of your love - that's right, a smile! With just one glance at your face, your husband should know that his very presence marks the pinnacle of your day.

7. Prepare For Contingencies - It's normal for nine holes of golf to turn into eighteen, or for a meeting at work to run long. If your husband forgets to call and tell you when he's going to be late, don't make him feel even worse by giving him a hard time about it. After all, only an elephant never forgets!

8. At The Dinner Table - Anticipate your spouse's needs by refilling his plate before he asks. When it comes to your own plate, remember that less is more. Certainly, the moist layer cake with butter cream frosting you baked this morning looks appetizing, but it won't do your waistline any favors!

9. "Honey, How Was Your Day?" - No matter how trying your own day may have been, don't burden him with your trivial woes. He's had to deal with enough aggravations at work, and he depends on you to be his respite from such drudgery! If he chooses to vent about his day, on the other hand, it is your job to lend a caring sympathetic ear.

10. Be Witty and Conversant - With a table full of dirty dishes waiting to be scoured and stacked, your day's work has hardly ended, but that's no excuse for failing to be a lively companion. Engage your husband in stimulating conversation ranging from news of the day to world events, but don't appear too opinionated or knowledgeable about any given subject. A good wife defers to her husband on all points, intellectual or otherwise.

11. Decisions, Decisions! - After toiling for his demanding employer all day, a man wants to be made to feel as though he's the boss when he crosses his own threshold. Let him dictate important matters at home, from selecting the evening's television program to choosing what he'd like you to serve for his bedtime snack.

12. Follow His Lead - Occasionally, your husband's mind may be far too pre-occupied to engage in idle chitchat. If, instead of hanging onto your every word, he mumbles one-word responses to your questions while perusing the newspaper or watching his favorite television program, don't take it personally. Sometimes saying "I love you" means saying nothing at all.

13. Hush, Little Children - Children are a blessing, but they can put a tremendous strain on their father's frazzled nerves. Encourage your children to use their "quiet voices" when Daddy comes home, and try to minimize rambunctious behavior.

14. A Mother's Day Never Ends - Once dinner ends and the kitchen has been cleaned, usher your wee darlings upstairs for a bath and bedtime. Your spouse will be grateful for a bit of solitude as you tend to the little ones in an efficient, orderly fashion.

15. Spread Gladness, Not Badness - When possible, try to spare your husband from the nuisance of life's little troubles. Now is not the time to present him with a stack of bills - or the fact that little Jimmy flunked his spelling test. If you can handle such crises without having to needlessly bother your husband, you'll leave him available to deal with more important matters.

16. Sing His Praises: A few well-placed compliments are certain to garner your husband's favor. Tell him he "cuts a fine figure" in his dapper work duds, or marvel at his business acumen when he relays a story from the office. His ego will appreciate the boost, and may even put him in the mood for romance!

17. All In A Day's Work - A man's needs are simple and his requests are few. In that case, it should be a pleasure (not a chore) to put his happiness ahead of your own. Don't expect special acknowledgement or words of praise for your efforts. It is your role to support him and make him feel special, not the other way around!

18. Between The Sheets - When your darling man suggests that you "slip into something a little more comfortable," he's not referring to your ankle-length flannel nightgown. Entice him in the bedroom by forgoing your cold cream and curlers in favor of a seductive negligee. Be a tantalizing temptress in those few short minutes before your husband falls asleep. Once he's out like a light, you can steal a few more "home work" minutes, rolling out the dough for tomorrow morning's light and flaky Danish. Then it's off to bed for you, too. After all, you'll have to rise early to make sure he awakes to the smell of percolating coffee!

19. A Job Well Done! - At the end of each day, survey your home and family, and ask yourself one important questions: "Have I inspired domestic tranquility?" With a little extra elbow grease and a "Can do!" attitude, you too can answer each and every day with a resounding "Yes!"

The Good Husband Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping Your Wife Satisfied

These are from The Good Husband Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping Your Wife Satisfied (Ladies' Homemaker Monthly), comprising one of two parts of my first anniversary gift for Jon and Harmony. I don't think these are meant to be taken terribly seriously!

1. A Prince Among Men - If a man's home is his castle, well then, doesn't that make you a princess? A top-drawer fellow will make his wife feel like queen for a day, every day, with thoughtful gestures like serving her breakfast in bed, drawing her bubble bath in the evening, offering up a daily foot rub, and never forgetting to tell her that he would be a mere shell of a man without her.

2. Isn't He Dreamy? - With the handsome urbanity of Cary Grant, the rugged swagger of John Wayne, and the boyish charm of Troy Donahue, your husband will be deemed "the bee's knees" by the ladies in your coffee klatch when he confidently comports himself like a gentleman from the silver screen. Yet rest assured, his iron-clad fidelity and unwavering adoration for you mean you'll never have to share the title of "leading lady" in his heart.

3. Knight in Shining Armor - An ideal husband will shield his lady love from all that is unseemly or indelicate in this world. Such duties include the disposal of household rubbish, cleaning up after the family pet, and the extermination of errant insects. When circumstances dictate, the man of the house will also spare his wife the burden of incorrigible children, meddling in-laws, and tedious dinners with colleagues.

4. No Fuss, No Muss! - A titan of tidiness, your considerate spouse takes special care not to leave detritus in his wake. Not only will he place his clothes in the laundry hamper and deposit dirty dishes in the sink, he'll also take the initiative to straighten up the house whenever and wherever he spies an item out of place. Only be forewarned: ever preoccupied with household gadgets and machinery, you'll be hard pressed to tear him away from that vacuum cleaner!

5. Dapper Dan - An upwardly mobile man dresses for success. Sure, those dungarees may fit him in all the right places when he's doing yard work or toiling under the hood of his Corvette, but he'll cut a truly dashing figure in a bespoke suit, crisp seersucker slacks, or spiffy pair of khakis. And since a man with this level of sartorial sense needs an equally well-dressed mate, he'll never look at you askance when you splurge at the local dressmaker's shop or buy your third handbag this week.

6. What a Knockout! - Bulging biceps aren't just window dressing. A merit-worthy mister puts his brawn to good use by opening tight jar lids, changing flat tires, shoveling the driveway, and engaging in any household chore predicated on the use of sheer force and elbow grease. Certainly your fragile constitution and dainty frame couldn't be expected to take on such grunt work as scrubbing the kitchen floor or defrosting the Frigidaire!

7. Cool Daddy-O: Forever indebted to you for delivering his progeny to the world, your grateful mate should feel inspired to do his part as the family patriarch. When diaper duty or 2 AM feedings are on the agenda, he'll answer the call with aplomb. You can count on him to clean pureed peas off your two-year-old, or placate your tantrum-throwing preteen. Sigh no more, exhausted mothers - truly, this father knows best.

8. Mr. Fix-It: Step aside, NASA, and meet a tech-savvy marvel able to fix anything that goes on the fritz using little more than duct tape and an Allen wrench. We all know how much he enjoys tinkering with his tool set and tackling those "Honey Do" lists you present him with each Saturday morning. Feeling useful is every man's greatest aim in life, so don't deprive him of his chance to prove himself handy.

9. Palling Around - Although he'd naturally rather be home with you chatting about feelings or helping fold laundry, occasionally "Boys' Night" will beckon. Don't begrudge your spouse's Elk Club membership or nickel poker games. It's harmless fun, and he's sure to be home by nine. Better yet, all that male bonding will have him pining for a little female companionship, if you sense our meaning!

10. "Tact"-ical Maneuvers: A good husband understands that there is a right and wrong way for broaching certain subject matter. Like a UN diplomat on the eve of a Cold War showdown, he'll parse his words delicately when weighing in on your daring new bouffant haircut or your experimental parsnip-and-liverwurst casserole. To that end, he always manages to gift-wrap his gentle criticisms with a ribbon of good cheer.

11. Lip Service - Modern man has certainly evolved from the days of caveman grunts and monosyllabic responses. Today, courtesy and compliments are at the heart of pleasing marital discourse. From proclamations of praise to whispered sweet nothings, you'll blush and bask in his daily declarations of admiration. A worthy gent also listens as skillfully as he speaks, clicking off the television or putting away the newspaper to give you his undivided attention.

12. Self-Sacrifice: When you nobly urge your husband to partake of the last slice of apple brown betty, he honorably insists: "Oh no, my pet! YOU deserve the last piece!" Ever putting your needs and wants ahead of his own, he will do things like brave below-zero temperatures to scrape the ice off your car's windshield, hold your purse while you scrutinize a sale rack, or leave his sickbed to climb on the roof and fix the TV antenna.

13. Groomed to Perfection: How is it that he manages to look - and smell - so deliciously manly? Chalk it up to the extra effort he makes in the realm of personal grooming. With some minor snipping and trimming, a handful of pomade, and a spritz of cologne, he'll leave you wistful for those teenage excursions up to Promontory Point. Speaking of yesteryear, did we mention that his waist size hasn't changed since the day you two lovebirds met? He'll leave the pot bellies to the pigs and the stoves, thank you very much!

14. He Shouldn't Have! - Reminding him about your upcoming anniversary is about as necessary as reminding the sun to rise. While he acknowledgement of the special days in your life is to be expected, the great lengths he'll go to in honor of those celebrations will leave you, quite simply, breathless. Brace yourself for surprise jaunts to Paris, bottles of chilled Dom Perignon in front of a crackling fire, and more diamonds than could be found in Liz Taylor's safety deposit box!

15. Your Daily Pick-Me-Up: Some days are tragic. When you ruin a freshly-polished manicure, scrape the fender on the Packard, or accidentally deflate the soufflé intended for tonight's dinner, it's natural to find yourself in a sour mood. Luckily, your understanding husband will be your antidote. (key word: DOTE) You'll be purring like a kitten by the time he's finished pampering and waiting on you hand and foot.

16. Spicing Things Up - The only monotony in your relationship will be the weekly delivery of fresh-cut flowers from your dear Don Juan. Otherwise, he'll keep you on your toes with spontaneous gestures of romance that will reignite those initial sparks of attraction. By day, he may be your beast of burden... but when the sun sets, he's a tiger in the bedroom!

17. One of the Girls - A good husband always takes an interest in his wife's favorite hobbies and pursuits, and he'll gladly join in on those activities. So go ahead - invite him to go caroling in Victorian garb, include him in your book club meetings, or sign him up for ballroom dance lessons. Even if an event coincides with the big game he's been gearing up for, he'll happily trade in his tickets to revel in the splendor of your favorite pastime.

18. Man of Means - He doesn't just bring home the bacon... he brings home the whole hog, and that's how he prefers to spend it, too. Sure, he'll invest wisely so as to save up for that sailboat and second home you've always dreamed about. But in the meantime, he's happy to treat his doll to the finer things in life. No more clipping coupons - your Mr. Wonderful isn't afraid to spread the wealth.

19. A Born Leader - With his wit, wisdom, and humble regard for humanity, your husband prompts the awe and respect of strangers, who whisper among themselves: "Is he a Kennedy?" Sure, he seems born for high political office, but who needs the drama? He asks not what he can do for his country - only what he can do for you, his darling wife!

Returning the temptation, humor books, tin, and lacking!

High-scoring words of the afternoon:

TINNILY (249 points) - against Pasha K. [two 4W - one used twice, hook off COOK to make COOKIE]
MARRIED (176 points) - against Kelly W. [two 5W, hook on ALOUD to make MU]


Went out to Save-On Foods to get my points on yesterday's purchases and return the Teddy Grahams / Aero Bubbles / Arrowroot animal crackers. While it could be argued that I could save them for a time when our Bible Study group is on the hook for snacks, I don't want the headache of keeping the receipt for that long... and I don't need the temptation! Got the money back on my debit card, which was fine with me. Then I went to Chapters in the next plaza to see if I could find a good anniversary gift for Jon and Harmony. Couldn't find anything that suited my purposes in the bargain section, so finally picked out The Good Husband Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping Your Wife Satisfied (Ladies' Homemaker Monthly) and The Good Wife Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping a Happy Husband (Ladies' Homemaker Monthly) [companion retro advice volumes in board book form!] from the humor section. I know they're trying to downsize, but typing out all the rules (as I will later for two other posts) and sending them in an email for their anniversary somehow seems a bit lacking! Also got a wedding card for some reason... turns out it was a good thing, because I put the wrong month on Andrea and Chuck's card! (July instead of June)

When I got home, I emailed Steph to request that she pay me $13.50 for her half of the anniversary gifts. Now that it's raining, perhaps a certain person will make it to church tomorrow! One can only hope, haha.... and it's seemingly cleared up just fifteen minutes later! Ugh!

After a splurge, I feel very annoyed at my browsers!

High-scoring words of the early afternoon:

AFTER (203 points) - against Lise M. [5W, 4W, hook off WEST to make TA]
SPLURGY (118 points) - against Helga S. [5W] {a good deficit-erasing word which allowed me to win the game handily!}

I was about to go to the library to rename a tag (Firefox is SLOW here, and it seemingly won't work in Opera because the tags are all jumbled in "alphabetical order" and won't load properly) when I remembered that they now block LJ. Of course, I'd have to remember this renaming stuff AFTER leaving the townhouse - UGH! Searching through text fields does NOT work in Opera either, much to my chagrin. Renaming the tag took more than an HOUR here because Firefox refused to respond and was slow in general... on anyone else's computer, it would have taken less than a minute! Then I noticed a typo in the new tag name because it wouldn't "take" on my entry here... luckily, the typo correction took "only" half an hour. *sigh* I should also remember that the Milestones near London Drugs is GONE now!

Happiness!

Your Happy Word is "Laughter"

You are happy because you are able to laugh at life. You believe that everything has a lighter side. You try to take a broad perspective and keep everything in context. You can always make lemons out of lemonade. You never take yourself too seriously, and you are able to laugh at any jokes at your expense. You let yourself make mistakes, and because of that, you find it quite easy to be cheerful.

What's Your Happy Word?

Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someone Has To!

Not EVERY joke made at my expense... *glares at certain people*

His bike is NOT distinctive! / "Why is your name Eric?" HAHAHAHAHA!

I got to the usual meeting place early, so thought I'd just continue my reading. Apparently, I was so into the murder story that I missed Eric driving right past me into the school parking lot! I only noticed when I heard someone who sounded like Eric call my name - boy, I was surprised to see his car! When I got into the car, I called him insane - one week, he parks where I'd have to go through the grass to get to the car, and then he stops in the parking lot the next time! He reminded me that Christon's group had bought snacks for tonight (so I'll return some of mine tomorrow), to which I said "OH CRAP!" I had sent Christon an email about it, but had interpreted "next Friday" in my head as the 28th and not today. We talked about his knowing whom I was enamored with, mock hate, whether DARKWING or Mr. Creep would be there tonight, French, Spanish, Alistair, Subway, and more on the way to church. At Subway, we discovered that they were out of the new Orchard Chicken Salad Sandwich... when I got the Veggie Delight instead, Eric thought I was saving up for a special evening. NO! Then Eric tried getting me to admit that I noticed the color of Dave Wong's bike... um, his tiger shirt is more distinctive than THAT! (and so is Christon's blue car!)

When we got to church, our usual room was locked, so we ate dinner in the lounge instead. He was facilitating Bible Study tonight, so I figured he'd wanted the extra time to go over the questions - no problem, since I could always read more about murder during that review period! Of course, he bugged me about it as per the usual! When we met up with everyone else in our usual room after a bathroom break (saying hi to Mike K. on the way), I noticed that Mr. Creep was helping to arrange the chairs. I stayed near the back of the room, and selected the chair that he'd seemed to have the least contact with. I know... I'm paranoid, but I also ignored his greeting to me and Eric save for muttering "go away" under my breath! I talked to Grace, Shally, Kevin, Vicky, Cindy, Dylan, Vania, and others about my week and being tired.

It turned out that Christon's group had the correct interpretation of "next Friday" since they all had snacks - PHEW! Eric mentioned something of the sort to me, so I explained. Turns out that next Friday is a "free" program, but we can listen to Elaine talk about her and Matt's tent-making mission in China. (I didn't know that she was doing this till the last Committee Meeting, and Jon had had NO idea till then!) During the announcements, Jon and I had a muted conversation about Eunice cutting his hair for him (before Edwin's wedding on Sunday at 5:30) / the lards presumably being back today / his mail and whether he'd be there on Sunday to receive it / Harmony being at a magazine launch / who else would be involved in various service projects. Kevin had a budget presentation with a HOLY BRIGHT PINK BACKGROUND! Shally had funny questions, haha.

We split into our usual groups, and I had to raise a fist at Calla since she "stole" our usual room (the lounge) once I had eye contact with her! (I explained this to her later, and she said that THEIR usual room had been locked!) Our group had the next room over, though. Talked to Dylan, Eric, Vicky, Albert, Cindy, Kevin, and Johnny about the Bible Study materials / gardens / struggles / more. For a morbid person like me, I had the perfect verses to read: "Therefore the grave enlarges its appetite and opens its mouth without limit; into it will descend their nobles and masses with all their brawlers and revelers. So man will be brought low and mankind humbled, the eyes of the arrogant humbled." (Isaiah 5:14-15) Eric noticed that I'd read those verses with extra zeal, and commented on it in the car on the way home. There were also a couple of references to wine and drinking which Jeremy would have liked! I didn't really talk to the new people in the group, as per my own protocol... and didn't give them too much information!

When we had snacktime later, Mr. Creep passed way too close to me for comfort a couple of times. STOP GETTING IN MY WAY! I wanted Eric to LEAVE right then, but of course he had to talk to Pastor John about UGM on Sunday evening. (good thing it's not right after church - I still get a ride home!) Vania introduced me to a couple MORE new people, but I was friendly enough to these newcomers. Had a cherry vanilla ice cream cone and a chocolate roll which Eric gave me. The "different woman" Teresa talked to me about how some people didn't believe in Jesus and told her that everyone's different, and how she'd gone to a Christian school. Since I'd heard it before and wasn't particularly interested, I was relieved when she switched topics to going for a few different worship services. She asked Eric a few questions, and I couldn't help but openly laugh when she asked him "Why is your name Eric?" He was better at keeping a straight face, and said that his parents had chosen the name from CHARIOTS OF FIRE - Eric Liddell, all right.

I chatted to Andrea, Chuck, Martin, Vicky, Albert, Kevin, Christon, Vivian, and others about the annoyances of still living at home (as Vicky does - phone calls from moms can be frustrating!) / accidentally going over medians in the road and subsequently worrying about your car / personal trainers and the cost / my week / self-control when it comes to snacks / "giving it the old college try" when my brother had signed me up for things without my knowledge (not an email) / losing it. Talked to Eric T. about his summer job in Ottawa - should be nice! After Wesley got a phone call, he invited me to Dragon Ball with my "lovely brother," but I had to decline on grounds that Eric was in a meeting. It DID look suspicious over there near the elevator, haha. He asked Randal to guess how much he'd gotten his jacket and shirt for - the jacket was $7 at Value Village, and the hockey shirt was $1 at BC Place since they'd had a massive sale of their inventory!

When Eric and I *finally* left, we discussed Jen / Randal / Dave / Mattias / Christon. Since Eric says he's planning to go to Steph's on Monday night for the JACK BAUER finale, I said we'd plan when to meet on Sunday... and speaking of Sunday, he shouldn't be doing sound since he already did it twice this month. We also found the Teemway BBQ Meat / Fish place and the Fresh Fruit and Vegetables place on Victoria where we'd gone on Sunday at Grandma's whim. Discussed our noticing different things and applying different levels of importance to them, as well... our brains seem to be on totally different wavelengths! I also had a very random cackle fit at #4 / Alderbridge, hahaha!

While my guitar gently weeps... every mistake, we must surely relearn!

High-scoring words of the night:

HIJACK (210 points) - against Alice P. [5W, 4L on H]
JIN (107 points) - against Lori G. [5L on J used twice, hook on AB to make JAB]


Trivia fact for Saturday, May 22: What guest artist played lead guitar on the Beatles' 1968 recording of While My Guitar Gently Weeps? Eric Clapton. The song is on the record The Beatles, commonly known as The White Album.

IT'S ON THE RADIO RIGHT NOW! YAY FOR COINCIDENCE!

Yay for anus! / Goopy visit / Warriors and bad black cherry yogurt

Interesting rack of the afternoon: ANUSOYEA, against Bebe B. [read this as "anus... o yea!" HAHAHAHA!]

Bingo of the afternoon:

INSPECTOR (132 points) - against Marie D.

High-scoring words of the afternoon:

GOOP (156 points; two 4W, hook off LIS to make LISP), BIOTA (108 points; 3W, 4W) - against Greg D.
VISIT (144 points; two 4W), INSPECTOR (132 points; 5W, hook off DANG to make AR, bingo) - against Marie D.
WARRIOR (250 points) - against Sheila P. [two 5W]
ZAXES (121 points) - against Belinda R. [4W, hook off NOVA to make NOVAE]
PASTAS (208 points) - against Cathy T. [two 4W]

I almost ate some black cherry yogurt which had gone bad. Noticed a peculiar smell, then saw that the edges of the yogurt had discolored - EW!

I intend to try these oatcakes - yay for bargain books!

Barry picked me up, and we made an appointment for next Thursday while driving to Save-On. I managed to find a bargain cookbook for Andrea's bridal shower (In Mother's Kitchen: Celebrated Women Chefs Share Beloved Family Recipes by Annette Cooper and Lisa Holmes - only $10!), a card for the same occasion (I'll use my last two wedding cards on Vivian / Gabriel and Andrea / Chuck), bananas (how did they get so mad expensive?!), bulk Fibre One bars, bulk wildberry juice, Walker's oatcakes (never had one before), Ziploc bags (of course I found some in my drawer LATER!), on-sale soy milk, on-sale Hunt's butterscotch pudding, pads x2, on-sale vanilla yogurt, chocolate chip Teddy Grahams / peppermint Aero Bubbles / Arrowroot animal crackers for Committee meeting sharing, and more. When I got to the checkout, Barry wondered whether I was on a budget... after yesterday's spending (plus getting an anniversary gift for Jon and Harmony's anniversary), I might need to be!

I forgot my Save-On More card, but I can always get the cash back tomorrow since I don't have to worry about the bus times in getting back to my place for a ride from Henry like I did that time I went to Sears! Got home to two calls from Eric, one from his cell phone (I was all WTF about it until I figured maybe it was his lunch break at 12:51) and one from work. When I said that he'd called while I was out, he disbelieved me at first, and then spent a minute joking that I was out to lunch - actually, no. Of course I can make it to Cambie / Jacombs at 6:15!

The name "David Wong" really is not that hard to pronounce, subconscious!

Interesting racks of the morning: BREAKCUB, against Josephine S. [read this as "break cub"] / DIEGOOSE (against Linda C.-K.) [read this as "die, goose!"]

High-scoring words of the morning:

BIKIE (164 points) - against Diana G. [3W, 4W, hook off GLAD to make BA / ID]
CURATE (335 points) - against Barbara E. [two 5W, hook off MIR to make EMIR] {a good deficit-erasing word which allowed me to win the game handily!}
RARITY (176 points) - against Viji R. [4W]
FAVE (180 points) - against Angela V. [5W, 3W]


I had a dream where Eric, Wesley, Jon, and I were busing to a certain place to see Dave Wong for some reason. We were passing the time by reading a lot of comics in the paper, and REALLY got into them. There were horoscopes next to the comics as the PROVINCE used to have, too. When we did see Dave, he told us that he didn't think his name was that common or hard to pronounce until he moved here. Apparently, an Iranian accent or a reggae accent made it hard to understand. I woke up soon after that with a "WTF?" feeling, understandably!

You Are Fairly Curious

You tend to get into certain ideas and subjects, and for them, your curiosity knows no limits. In general, you don't tend to be as curious as you could be, though. Open your eyes a little more to the world around you. Try something new every day. There's so much to learn, see, do, and be curious about in life!

How Curious Are You?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Swami playas / Oops, Auntie Ying! / Big mouths in Taiwan about payment

High-scoring words of the late night:

PLAYA (440 points) - against Fran R. [2W, 4W, 5W]
SWAMIS (102 points) - against Lori H. [3W, 2W] {a good deficit-erasing word!}

I just realized that I forgot to call Auntie Ying for the second Thursday in a row. Ah well, looking after Grandma and catching up are valid excuses, right? ;)

Jane's family has big mouths, apparently...

[00:22:20] Flami: I don't know what you want to do
[00:25:47] Corey: I want to finish my lesson plan for my Saturday morning class, and then find an article for my new private student that doesn't pay me enough because of Jane's family having big mouths :P
[00:25:57] Corey: then I can play Dragon Force!!!
[00:26:11] Flami: big mouths?
[00:28:03] Corey: Jane told her mom what I make at David's (adult school) which isn't much (kind of a probationary rate that will go up as soon as they know I'm okay, which I'm hoping is very soon since they're getting me my ARC now). Her mom told Jane's aunt, who told HER English teacher, who found me a private student, and told THEM what I make...
[00:28:55] Corey: so I didn't really want to argue right in front of this kid and his parents that their rate was too low... they paid me for a full class just when I met them though, even when I said they shouldn't, so at least they're nice :P
[00:58:39] Corey: so now that English teacher apparently wants lessons from me regularly, plus she's trying to set up a class on the weekends (which will at least be her and her husband, if not others), and find me even more private students... so she's helping me out a LOT, but she thinks I don't make much money...
[00:58:45] Corey: so I had Jane (they all want to deal with me through her, so they can speak Chinese) tell her that the normal rate is WAY higher than that, and she had the wrong number because that's just the "new person" rate at that school, and it will be going up soon... plus, private classes are supposed to be a lot more money than a normal job
[00:58:51] Corey: but, we like her a lot for helping me, so she'll be getting a discount, of course... so everything else should be better money, hopefully
[00:58:54] Flami: I don't suck - it's Trillian
[00:58:57] Corey: but I might get another 3-6 hours of work (tax-free since this is private stuff, not real work) a week out of just her, so that helps quite a bit. another teacher I know keeps saying he'll give me a couple private students, too. Jane's cousin also wants private lessons from me, and she apparently knows people from work that want those, too
[00:59:14] Corey: my real job is only 4 hours a week right now, so if I can keep that fairly low and just do tons of private students, it'd be pretty nice... higher pay, no taxes
[00:59:20] Corey: less preparation too, since those are all people that will talk a lot and have lots of questions for me, rather than the usual classroom student that's silent unless I force them to speak (in a conversational class where they're paying to practice speaking)
[01:19:44] Flami: man, that doesn't sound good that they have big mouths... but if all this comes together, it should work out quite nicely
[01:23:50] Corey: well, I corrected the English teacher about the prices... Jane was all worried that this was going to offend her entire family since it's through her aunt, but it was fine... this teacher is pretty nice
[01:24:24] Corey: I made sure the main point of the call was to find out more about what she wants... our demands were after that, and not in a demanding way :P
[01:25:49] Flami: haha... well, I guess that's a good thing then :P
[01:38:09] Corey: she's an English teacher, but she's Chinese... and while she knows a lot, she has to ask me a lot of things, so she wants lessons from me. it'll be nice because she doesn't want me to prepare anything, she just wants to ask me a bunch of questions :P
[01:38:23] Corey: she's a good teacher, so she'll probably prepare her own class, basically
[01:38:37] Corey: I don't know much at all about teaching, I'm just a native speaker of the language :P
[01:40:38] Flami: okay, I guess that does work out
[01:45:56] Corey: people mostly want practice with a native speaker.. they learn English in school and stuff, and aren't too interested in learning lots of vocabulary and stuff, they mostly need practice using it with someone that can correct everything for them
[01:46:26] Corey: a lot of people here know some English, they just have almost no confidence using it
[01:50:27] Flami: understandable... now, bedtime... goodnight :P

Japanese baseball players, Bathroom Readers about Canada and craziness, slang

Relevant Taiwan conversation:

[21:43:27] Corey: HOMO?
[21:43:32] Flami: NO!
[21:43:43] Corey: NOMO
[21:47:12] Flami: sorry, I'm not a Japanese baseball player :P try again
[21:50:21] Corey: I don't know nothin about no Japanese baseball players
[21:50:33] Corey: apparently, there are a couple from Taiwan in the MLB
[21:51:10] Corey: they're surprised when I don't know about that
[21:51:58] Flami: I stopped paying attention to that a while ago
[21:52:50] Corey: I never knew I was supposed to pay attention to it because I didn't even know it existed. now that I do, I'll continue to pay the same amount of attention, I think
[22:00:33] Flami: haha, nice
[22:07:24] Corey: I guess it would help if I knew what the names were, so I could at least act like I know what they're talking about
[22:12:15] Flami: probably
[22:30:18] Flami: hey, did you ever decide what to do with that package?
[22:32:01] Corey: I don't know... will you get it if I send it again? :P I have to spend another $5-6 to send it again
[22:33:22] Flami: you know what... this has happened to me before when someone sent me a package - I did NOT get a notification from the post office about the "unclaimed package" (I didn't have time to tell you that on Sunday)
[22:48:10] Corey: why would the post office have it in the first place? they don't leave it at your building? plus, it took two damn months
[22:49:31] Flami: if mail such as this is undeliverable for whatever reason, I usually get a notice stating such
[23:06:30] Flami: and no, they didn't leave it here..
[23:08:43] Corey: do they usually?
[23:11:00] Flami: not if I have to sign for it or whatever
[23:15:13] Corey: you can't just authorize the building to sign for it or something and keep it in the office? I'm pretty sure you didn't have to sign for it anyway though, I just used regular USPS

Had a random conversation with some guy (screen name of "istayhighx420") who says he saw my screen name while Googling the fishbots - it was okay up until he figured I typed too slowly, and implied that I wasn't fun - BLOCKED! I decided to get Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges Into Canada, Eh (BTMS-Portable Press / Consigned), Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: The World's Gone Crazy (BTMS-Portable Press / Consigned), and two Happy Bunny bookmarks at the bookstore tonight. Also wanted a pair of Jessica panties at Sears to replace an old pair. Thanks to the bus being late, I had less than fifteen minutes in which to do so. I could have left earlier or waited till later, but I wanted a reward for surviving certain things. Luckily, I knew exactly what I wanted, and added a renewed Chapters membership to my purchases since I might as well buy it before the HST kicks in.

By the time I wanted to get out of the mall, the doors were locked! Double luck kicked in, as I saw someone open a door - I held it for two other people who were in the same predicament I was. Then I went to London Drugs to get the Snap Pea Crisps which I'd seen yesterday (Grandma refused to get those because they were peas and not chips), and four eFrutti candy packs which were on special. I can definitely afford four for $6... those are earmarked for Bible Study sharing purposes, so we'll see how long that lasts! On the way home, I smelled pot - got home and talked to Billie and Corey.

New Record: Five forced wins in the past 24 hours, against Flora G. / Shelley R.-B. / Brooke W. / Marshalle D. / Emma Grace F.

Trivia fact for Friday, May 21: In cowboy slang, what's a skunk egg? An onion.

Why is my ex still getting mail here?!

I'm finally home! Auntie Teresa gave me a ride, and Grandma insisted on giving me $30 right then. Called Barry to make an appointment for food shopping - tomorrow at 12:30 it is! Also paid some bills, so I took care of responsibilities. Time to get used to Opera again after using Firefox for ten days or so! Sorted through the mail - had some for people I've never heard of, and even a couple for my ex. AIYA!

Outcalling, Scripture irony, Angus and MARIO, desks

Bingo of the morning:

OUTCALLS (110 points) - against Billie U.

High-scoring words of the morning:

OUTCALLS (110 points) - against Billie U. [5W]
METAL (144 points) - against Bebe B. [two 4W]
EXACT (455 points) - against Yolande M. [two 5W, hook off NOT to make NOTE] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
COMFIT (204 points) - against Elizabeth S. [4W, 3W]
NAGGY (275 points) - against Lisa K. [two 5W]


I had a weird dream in which all I can remember is my mom yelling at me and Angus, wanting to take a look out the window only to discover that the outside world had transformed itself into a world map typical of an RPG (and had "SUPER MARIO 1-1" on it), and going around a huge ship looking for something. Odd stuff, indeed!

I was drinking Bacardi Gold rum out of a mug with Scripture (Psalm 29:11) on it. I found this a little bit amusingly ironic due to those hard-line Christians who absolutely forbid alcoholic beverages in their homes.

Edit at noon: Auntie Teresa is back, and is talking at me about the window being out of place. Blame the wind, NOT me! And she's talking about me as if I'm not there and don't understand that she's trying to get Grandma to admit that I don't do anything to help. UGH! I'll grin and bear it - Grandma wants to give me money, too. Oh well, I stood up to her because she thinks the old newspapers should be in the recycling box. No! Even I know that my parents would prefer that the newspapers be stored in a box for their reading pleasure, even if it will be old news. Too bad, woman!

To pay her back, I'll make her speak to me in English even though I can understand her Chinese perfectly well. "English, mofo! Do you speak it?!" Hahaha! (PULP FICTION) I'm not eating mango, either. She tried to corner me with a personal question, which I ignored because I was doing the dishes. Also, she referred to a cloth as "a piece of cloth," like Mom would do. The similarities are scary!

You Are a Creative Worker

You are a very private person. You don't open up easily, and you don't open up to just anyone. You draw a lot of inspiration and energy from your own internal world. You get bored easily around other people. You are confident and competent. You tend to not make mistakes, and you trust your judgment. You are down to earth and practical. You achieve success one step at a time, by paying attention to details.

What Does Your Desk Say About You?

Vixens, decay, buttons, windy weather, and Alaska's oldest newspaper

Interesting racks of the night: BITEYEAR (against Robert T. - read as "bite year") / "THEIRRYU" (against Toni S. - read that as "their Ryu") / UMANNLAI (against Toni S. - read as "um, Ann Lai...") / TROUTDEN (against Jennifer W. - read as "trout den")

High-scoring words of the night:

ZONATE (224 points) - against Peter S. [two 2W, 4L on Z]
HAAF (180 points) - against Nellie B. [3W, 5W]
AIKIDO (325 points; two 5W), TIARAS (160 points; two 4W) - against Nick K.
VIXENISH (176 points) - against Shannon E. [4W, 3L on V] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
HASTEN (122 points) - against Jo E. [5W, 2W, hook off BRAY for a plural] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
GOMEREL (750 points) - against Jo E. [2W, two 5W] {different game}
BUTTONED (100 points) - against Toni S. [3W]
DECAYER (300 points) - against Robert T. [5W, 4W]
BRAVOED (4W, two 5W), DEBIT (205 points; 5W used twice, 5L on B, hook on OUTWAR to make OUTWARD) - against Lori G.
ABASER (231 points) - against Cally P. [two 5W, hook off PA to make SPA]


Dang, it's windy outside. Glad I'm safe inside, heh.


Trivia fact for Thursday, May 20: What is the very fitting name of Alaska's oldest newspaper, located in the former gold rush city of Nome? The Nome Nugget.

Soft bay wood in the naval juncos, Grandma knowing when I call Eric, Auntie Teresa ride offers

High-scoring words of the evening so far:

SOFT (135 points; 5W, 3W), AGEDLY (135 points; 5W, 4L on Y) - against Tina V.
AXIL (119 points) - against Sharon W. [4W, 2W, hook off MI to make MIX]
BAYWOOD (115 points) - against Nick U. [5W]
JUNCOS (162 points; two 3W), QUAKY (245 points; 5W, 5L on K) - against Sabine C.
NAVAL (117 points) - against Jenny H. [4W, 3W, hook off ROVE to make ROVEN] {a good deficit-erasing word!}


I called Eric earlier to see what the budget was for the snacks since I was about to email Christon and Jen about it - and I also told him that I planned to be home on Friday. Grandma somehow knew or assumed that I was calling Eric, and thought it was for a ride... nope. She apparently knows when I say Eric's name, which I guess is fine. During dinner, she forgot what day it was (tomorrow) even after I told her about that a minute ago. Poor Big G... I also invoked the two-second rule for starfruit, much to her horror and dismay. :D

Auntie Teresa called to ascertain whether we had certain things at home like vegetables, milk, fish, and other stuff. She also said that she could give me a ride home on the way to pick up my grandma's watch after lunch, so at least I don't need to worry about that. With the weight of my stuff, I'd probably NEED the ride! She also talked at me about cleaning my parents' room - I KNOW THAT, thanks!

Ultimate fugitives with eyewash, rice, congee, and noodles!

Interesting racks of the afternoon: NEARJAVA, against Katie S. / REDPUTTY (against Jean M.)

High-scoring words of the afternoon:

ULTIMATE (105 points) - against Jan H. [5W]
FUGITIVE (112 points) - against Jan H. [4W] {different game}
EYEWASH (114 points) - against Dana G.-G. [3W, 2W]
DICTA (192 points) - against Kelly W. [3W, 4W]
GYPPED (288 points) - against Katie S. [two 4W]
MY (111 points) - against Erika W. [5W, 3L on Y used twice, hook off OXO to make YO]
BEMEAN (108 points; two 3W), BEMEANED (126 points; 2W, 4W) - against Robin R.
SEQUEL (130 points) - against Pauline S. [5W used twice, hook off WARN for a plural]
ACIDS (322 points) - against Fran R. [5W, 4W, 2W, hook off FOCUS to make AS]
HEALER (150 points) - against Tracey F.-M. [3W, 5W]
ZITS (112 points) - against Trisha-Sky B. [4W used twice, hook off THING for a plural]
MYNA (159 points; 4W, 2L on E used twice, 4L on Y, hook off FLEE to make EM), DJIN (112 points; 4W, 2W) - against Geri S.


Grandma consented to have NOODLES FOR DINNER. This is momentous only if you know Big G - she doesn't usually eat rice for lunch (except in congee form) or noodles for dinner!

Crackers, popped corn tortilla chips, Maltesers, nuts, and more!

I was running late from the time I got up, but still managed to make it out of the house before 10 with Grandma. She said that she'd go by herself, and I don't want a 90-year-old woman to go out by herself when she doesn't really know how to get to her destination! She remembered the Canada Line, but complained that we should have gotten off at the next stop because we had to walk for five minutes from Lansdowne Station to Auntie Ruby's. The next station is Aberdeen, even further away! Got Medora Snacks Corners Popped Corn Tortilla Chips, Vinta roasted red pepper crackers, a bag of Planters mixed nuts, a bag of Maltesers, farfalle pasta, some digestive biscuits (all from London Drugs), and a free meal of steak and root beer at Boston Pizza today. Grandma wasn't impressed with the salmon she got, saying it didn't have any flavor. That's what the salt and pepper are for... I put the kibosh on going to the bank, haha.

You Hope to Leave Your Mark on the World

You want to change the world in a big way, and you don't ever want to be forgotten. You are ambitious, aggressive, and even a little crafty. You know how to get ahead. You are the leader of the pack and a true adventurer. You'd visit the whole planet if you could. You put your own interests first, but you are mindful of the interests of others. There's plenty of room at the top!

The Footprint Test

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

Powerful footmen with blinders who passed - YAY! / Superman and villains

Bingo of the night:

BLINDERS (126 points) - against Lee-Ann H.


High-scoring words of the night:

POWER (1200 points) - against Melissa R. [two 5W, two 2W]
FOOTMAN (135 points) - against Dave E. [two 3W]
BLINDERS (126 points; 4W, hook off COAT to make BO / LA / IT), YAY (125 points; 4W used twice, hook off DUMP to make MY / PA, a good deficit-erasing word!), PASSED (201 points; two 4W, hook off HOT to make SHOT) - against Lee-Ann H.
NEURON (245 points) - against Fran R. [2W, 4W, 5W] {a good deficit-erasing word!}


Trivia fact for Wednesday, May 19: Who was the first villain that Superman faced when he made his movie debut in 1948? Spider Lady. She appeared in the 15-episode Superman serial adventure.

Allowing objects in case of prosaic white guys with vats and acrimony! / InfiniTube

High-scoring words of the evening:

ALOW (108 points) - against Tom B. [4W, 3W, hook off AWL to make WAWL] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
OBJET (345 points) - against Erika W. [5W used twice, 4W, hook off ZINES to make SO]
INCASE (141 points) - against Lesley C. [3W used twice, 5W, hook off ADMITS to make SI]
PROSAIC (370 points) - against Judy A. [two 5W, hook off NINE for a plural] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
GUYS (220 points) - against Alice P. [5W, 4W, hook off FIND for a plural]
WYTES (111 points) - against Wendy S. [two 2W, 2L on Y, hook off TIDY to make SI]
VAT (189 points) - against Tina V. [3W, 5W used twice, hook off FEES to make FA / ET]
ACRIMONY (490 points) - against Laurie S. [two 5W] {a good deficit-erasing word!}


I've discovered Infinitube.net, where you can play an endless stream of Youtube videos in the background based on keywords you put in. This is great stuff, man!

Grandma remembered that she double-booked herself for Fellowship and a doctor's appointment, for which I will have to get up early... according to Translink, we leave at 9:25. This evening's search through the church directory was more fruitful than the one of a few nights ago when her TV didn't work - she wanted to get Selwyn's number, but she can't remember his last name... so she called Alan and Polly instead for the information. Lovely. They knew what she was talking about, haha. After some searching, she found the number... turns out that Selwyn isn't going to work / doesn't have time to pick her up tomorrow, so I guess it works out.

Hefty rhinos and dozy Amber / Auntie Christine / Done with walkthroughs

High-scoring words of the afternoon:

SETTLOR (112 points) - against Johnee J. [5W, hook off YIP to make IS / PE]
RHINO (225 points) - against George M. [two 5W]
AMBER (114 points) - against Gwen B.-S. [4W, 2W]
AEROBATS (232 points) - against Sandra B. [two 4W]
SALARY (144 points) - against Elizabeth S. [two 3W]
HEFTILY (500 points) - against Elizabeth S. [two 5W] {different game}
DOZY (249 points; 5W, 3L on Z, hook off BROILER to make DE / OR), RATTY (219 points; 5W, 5L on Y used twice, hook off BROILER to make BY) - against Greg D.


Auntie Christine came to visit Grandma for a short while - at least THAT is not annoying, so of course I thanked her for taking time out of her day to do that! After she left, I finally took a shower. Am done with the BREATH OF FIRE II walkthroughs, too. Got a message about Andrea's bridal shower - at least now I don't have to find a ride after church for it, since it's now in the fellowship hall. I'll have to remember I'm going to that event, so I don't accidentally go home with Eric, haha.

Yeasty ricotta with outlines and swimming!

High-scoring words of the morning:

YEASTIER (3352 points; two 3W, two 4W), RICOTTAS (868 points; 4W, two 3W) - against Cheryl H.
OUTLINE (180 points) - against Velia T. [5W, 2W, hook off MAX to make EM]
AHOY (118 points) - against Carol R. [two 4W, hook off ARM to make HARM]
TENEBRAE (100 points) - against Rich I. [5W]


Apparently, Auntie Teresa called again - ANNOYING! Grandma wondered why I didn't answer it - I WAS IN BED! Good thing I didn't, otherwise I'd have hung up on her! Although the second most annoying woman in the world might be useful to me when it comes to driving me home on Thursday... *thinks*

You Are the Backstroke

You can't help but see the world from a completely different point of view. You like to innovate and break the rules. You like turning things upside down just for fun. You are very observant and visual. You are always looking around to see what's going on. You have many interesting theories and insights. You even surprise yourself with what you come up with.

What Swimming Stroke Are You?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

Green wood moths in the taproom with calcium / Gold Rum / Commonwealths

Bingo of the night:

GREENWOOD (73 points) - against Erika W.

High-scoring words of the night:

MOTHS (234 points) - against George M. [2W, two 3W]
TAPROOM (280 points) - against Alice P. [5W, 4W]
CALCIUM (300 points) - against Jennifer W. [two 5W]


Decided to take my sister's suggestion - Bacardi Gold rum it is, haha. Jami Atwell tried adding me to Facebook - DENIED! Grandma came downstairs at midnight to say that she'd be going to seniors Fellowship tomorrow, so she wanted to let me know. Tomorrow isn't Wednesday, because it's only TUESDAY! Oh well, I know she's getting confused and forgetful, so of course I'll give her a break.

Trivia fact for Tuesday, May 18: How many U.S. states are officially known as commonwealths? Four - Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

Lime mojitos, BBQ chicken pizza, and being accommodating to old ladies

Steph came to the house early, so used the computer to check her email and other things while Grandma was in the shower. She checked the valve under the sink to water the plants - Jon had forgotten where it was, so she verified that it was the red thing. After trying to accommodate Grandma's dietary preferences, we were off to Ironwood. Steph almost settled on Danny's Wonton House until she remembered that I'd had BBQ food earlier for lunch. Of course, Grandma forgot already, and it had just been at 1 PM! We decided to try Brown's Social House, AKA the place that wouldn't take my party on my birthday in 2008. Steph asked if Grandma wanted sushi at Kisha Poppo next door - knowing she'd say NO - and got this response: "No! NO NEED FOR SUSHI!" It's plain to see that she still doesn't like the Japanese!

They were actually accommodating to a 90-year-old's requests, and didn't end up changing us extra to substitute cooked vegetables for a salad, which she doesn't really eat anyway. We had halibut, spicy capicollo pizza, BBQ chicken pizza (the pizzas were only $9), a lager, and a lime mojito. Discussed Vivian's wedding (June 10), Andrea and Chuck's wedding, Grandma hijacking Eric and not recognizing Jeremy, getting drunk, water, Grandma being forgetful, packing, Grandma just people-watching (finding the skanky waitresses and high heels bad), Pei Lyn's quitting a job over being asked to skank it up, text messages, and more. Grandma seemed happy to be out with us, and even initiated a toast! Got home to find out that Benito Camelas had added me on Facebook - no way, I don't know you! Steph also discovered that Grandma's TV actually worked now for some reason. It was a good time - not sure if I'll take Steph's suggestion to drink more because it'll be free. Hahaha, nice! Grandma also wanted us to get milk at Super Grocer, so we humored her paranoia. (1% it is!)

Toadfish / Steal the food processor to make almond butter!

High-scoring words of the afternoon:

VAUNTY (135 points) - against Jackie G. [two 3W]
TOADFISH (132 points) - against Kelly W. [two 2W, hook off CAKE for a plural]
ONTOLOGY (105 points) - against Stephanie K. [5W]


Jon showed up a little late, but I'm used to that. Grandma insisted on treating us instead because she thinks Jon and Harmony have no money, and Jon drove us around. As I told Jon, her barometer of usefulness is based around whether you have a car or not. We went to Master Hong's BBQ House, where we joked with Grandma about eating durians and rice for lunch. I told Jon that I had just realized something: she won't eat rice for lunch for some reason, but she will eat congee, which of course is made out of rice. So we asked her why that was, and she said that congee is better - okay, then! It was a good lunch - chow mein, gai lan, BBQ pork and BBQ duck on rice, and fried noodles with huge mushroom slices / chicken / veggies. Grandma kept asking Jon when Harmony wouldn't be working so she can take the two of them out for a meal. This week is pretty busy for him, what with teaching / SERVANTS / Edwin's wedding / Fellowship / other things. Discussed Auntie Teresa cleaning the fridge, too.

I informed Jon that Grandma had hijacked Eric to go grocery shopping again after lunch yesterday, and he wondered whether Wesley had enjoyed eating at our table - oh sure! We'd discussed JACK BAUER, hockey pools, limited Big G stories, and more. Jon allowed Grandma to go grocery shopping since he apparently had to get rolled oats and some fruits too, which she paid for. (she bought MORE mangoes, even though we have three from yesterday - and some lobster chips and other things) Then he told her that we had to go home - he was going to make almond butter, but since he ran out of time, he stole the food processor. I helped water the plants - he doesn't want Mom's plants to die in the scorching heat. That, I can respect. I horrified Grandma by eating six almonds at a time, hahaha!

Lymph / Comparing pads / Wheels and bling / Welsh name

High-scoring words of the morning:

LYMPHS (108 points) - against Geraldine L. [3W, 5L on M]
FIQUES (114 points) - against Demetra K. [2W, 4L on Q] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
JOLTS (100 points) - against Kristyn L. [4W, 2L on J]


The only part of my dream I can remember is checking out some pads and comparing them to one another... WTF? Grandma is not impressed that I choose not to eat till Jon gets here. Well, I rarely am hungry when I get up, so THERE YOU GO! Dave updated his FB status with something about blinging wheels on a grip. I have almost no idea what he's really referencing (bike tire shopping? I dunno...), but I couldn't resist commenting since he had said the magic keyword: BLING! Hahaha! :D

Your Welsh Name is Iola Nesta Llewelyn

The best candle is understanding

What's Your Welsh Name?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

Evil people and bodies - penultimate Monday with JACK BAUER!

Logan gets his recognition, and he's grinning like the cat who swallowed the canary. Jason ruins the party by giving him the bad news about Pavel. (who is now dead, apparently) So, I guess Jack managed to kill him and escape before Jason arrived at the scene, all in the span of two minutes. Jack really is faster than a speeding bullet. Jason wanted Logan to "extricate" himself, but it's too late for that. Jason warns Logan that Jack really went to town on Pavel, slicing him open and cutting him up like a piece of meat.

President Taylor and President-Select Hassan are finishing up the longest "wrapping up of a treaty" ever. President-Select Hassan is suspicious of how Logan got the Russians to stay, but she says she trusts Taylor. She also trusted her husband to remain faithful – look how that turned out. Logan gives Taylor some more advice – this time, he tries to convince her to toss the First Amendment out the window, and stop Reed's newspaper from printing the story on national security grounds. Clearly, he didn't read the Pentagon Papers case. You need WAY more than that if you want to justify a prior restraint. Anyway, Logan retreats to an area where he is much more experienced – being a manipulative snake. He reminds Taylor about her predicament, and tells her that she could face criminal charges for her cover-up. Taylor is sorry she ever listened to him, but what's done is done.

Chloe and Arlo look at video footage of Pavel's body (or what's left of it), and Chloe still insists on helping Jack. They pull up Michael Madsen's file and, wouldn't you know it, he's officially deceased. Aren't they all? Madsen is concerned about hitting an ex-President, but that conflict only goes so far since he gives Jack the info he needs. Jack then tells Madsen he doesn't plan on coming back from the dark place he's about to go, and tells him to erase everything that could link him to Jack. Meanwhile, Kim and his granddaughter are waiting patiently in Los Angeles for him. So much for them.

Taylor talks to Tim Woods, and feeds him some BS about how Reed is about to publish false info that could result in a breach of national security. She wants Tim to seize Reed and detain her. Tim looks skeptical, but ultimately agrees. Reed calls into her editor, and they agree to meet. She tells him not to tell anyone, which of course means that he will. Logan and Minister Novakovich are talking, and Logan tries to reassure him that everything will be okay. Novakovich is seriously freaked out that Jack will come after him next, and he should be afraid… Very afraid.

But first, Jack has Logan in his sights. He starts firing at Logan's limo, and Logan seriously freaks out. I'm talking that guy on the boat in The Usual Suspects when he realized Keyser Soze was after him. "He's here! I know it's him! I'm telling you, it's Jack Bauer!" All they have to do is stay in the limo, since the windows are bulletproof. But Logan orders them out so that they can try and shoot him. That's a dumb move, as Jack easily takes the Secret Service agents out, kicks a hole in the windshield, and drops a tear-gas grenade into the limo. Logan has to exit the vehicle, and Jack grabs him. Well, that was easy.

Jason and Eden are upset about how their time in the champagne room was interrupted. Jason is also a little upset about how Jack managed to make a few Secret Service agents look like mall cops. Jason takes his team into the underground tunnel in hot pursuit of Jack. Jack asks Logan why Pavel called him, and Logan is like "Uh – it must have been a wrong number. I get Russians calling me all the time, asking me if I'm happy with my satellite television service." Jack applies some pressure, and Logan starts babbling like an idiot. He sings like a canary while blubbering for his life. That's actually fairly inconsistent with their prior confrontation from Season 5. Back then, Logan stood up to Jack, and said he was a lot tougher than he seemed. Now, he's a spineless jellyfish. I guess time really has mellowed him. Logan begs for his life, and Jack says he's not going to kill him. He then puts Logan in a simple headlock, and Logan is out cold. Man, that headlock would give Roddy Piper's sleeperhold a run for its money.

Chloe wants Cole released, but Eden gives her some flak. Chloe talks about how she wants him to run the UN detail, and that seems to placate Eden. Chloe also promised to let Eden dance to the song of her choice. Time to cue up Pour Some Sugar on Me and Panama. Reed is at a café, and she gets emotional watching footage of Hassan on the news. She then gets a call from her editor, who tells her that the FBI is already there, and they're doing their best Gestapo impersonation. Reed high-tails out of the café and, well, she doesn't know where she's going to go. Chloe takes Cole out of holding, and gives him his marching orders. She tells him to find Madsen, and he's down for some fun. Or maybe he's bitterly disappointed that he's been replaced by Pauly Shore (a far superior actor) for the next Scooby Doo movie.

Minister Novakovich is waiting to meet with President Suvarov, but he has another, more pressing appointment to tend to. Namely Jack, who arrives with his guns blazing. One of the bodyguards manages to sneak up on Jack and stab him, which shows that Jack isn't thinking clearly. How could he let a scrub like that get the better of him? Chloe questions whether Cole needs an arsenal to go after Jack. Uh – Chloe, you do know who you're dealing with, right? In fact, I think Cole was a little lightly armed to be heading towards a confrontation with Jack.

Kayla Hassan gets a call from Reed, and she spills the beans about the Russian conspiracy. Right after she gets off the phone, the FBI nabs her and gets the evidence. Woods tells Taylor that they have the data card, but I'm betting Reed hid the real one somewhere. Probably in a safe deposit box. Logan is on a stretcher again, and that's a position he's used to. Poor Logan. You almost feel sorry for the little guy. Logan tells Jason to warn Novakovich, but it looks like he's a little late. Novakovich has been impaled by a poker. That's right. He was poked by a poker. How poetic.

So who's next on Jack's hitlist? Please let it be Taylor! Maybe we can call in with our requests. Nope. It's going to be Suvarov. Apparently, he was the one behind all the Russian shenanigans. Man, that guy tricked us all into thinking he was a nice guy. I guess he was much more devious than we ever gave him credit for. US diplomats should keep that in mind when they deal with Putin. Logan assures him that Novakovich didn't give him up, but he doesn't notice the micro-recorder Jack planted on him. Man, he fell for that trick again? As Bugs Bunny would say: "What a maroon…"

Digging and shoving primates through age assumptions and baseball increases

High-scoring words of the night:

OAKEN (400 points) - against Judy M. [5W, 4W, 2W] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
DIG (107 points) - against Dana G.-G. [4W, 5W, hook off BI to make BIG]
PITEOUS (293 points) - against Linda H. [5W, 3W, hook off JOE for a plural]
SHOVE (390 points) - against Marian M. [two 5W, hook off ZEAL for a plural] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
PRIMATES (132 points) - against Tom B. [4W, 3W] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
OVERSMOKE (240 points; 3W, 5W; a good deficit-erasing word!), REGENT (120 points; 3W, 5W) - against Naomi E.


It's a good thing that I am mostly impervious to Grandma yelling at me in Chinese: "Are you stupid? Do you think I would eat a lot of rice out of a soup bowl? You've gone crazy!" Grandma, on my age and childhood: "I don't remember how old you are... are you 44? 47? I remember when I looked after you three things [me and siblings] when you were kids! Your mother and father both worked..." Thanks a lot, Grandma... she also ranted me out for being useless when I couldn't fix the video on her TV. At least you have the SOUND! Jon's said he'll be here around noonish tomorrow to take us out to lunch, and agrees with Steph that the TV shouldn't be too difficult to fix. Steph will be by around 6 to take us out for dinner, and we'll be home in time for JACK BAUER!

Trivia fact for Monday, May 17: When baseball phenom Barry Bonds joined the San Francisco Giants in 1993, he wore a size 42 uniform jersey. What size was the scandal-tainted slugger wearing ten years later? Size 52. During the same period, his shoe size increased from 10.5 to 13.

Voyeurism, translation, genetic screening, Pho lunch, buying fish, and more!

High-scoring words of the afternoon:

VOYEAR (249 points) - against Natalie M. [5W, 3W used twice, hook off YEA to make YEAR]
ACEROSE (160 points) - against Kristyn L. [two 4W]


Eric picked me and Grandma up, and it started a day of translation. We managed to talk about stuff in English since she wouldn't understand anyway, haha. He seemed to think that it would be easier if Steph and Grandma just joined us at Pho, which made sense. Yes of course I was ready for the lunch. Of course we could try parking in the "dungeon" (parkade) - we got there, and it was closed, so he was about to turn around when Grandma noticed it open. Man, it was practically empty! Then she muttered about some white guy on a bike, so I had to tell her that it was Bearded Man! (waved hello to him, too) Grandma was about to follow me into the sanctuary when she remembered that she had Sunday School. I sat in my usual spot, saying hi to Martin and Edmond via smiles - Chris says that Justin is basically okay, and that it was just a bump. It could have turned into a concussion or something worse, though... thank goodness it didn't. I knew Jeremy would come in soon, and he did... he said he was on target for the Sun Run, clocking in at just over an hour and two minutes. Said hi to Cindy, Yvonne, Dave, Connie, Grace, Phil, Nathan, and other people too. Jeremy figured that Nathan was upset since a new guy was sitting in his spot... yeah, but you can't really tell new people not to sit in people's usual spots unless you WANT to come off as a total bleeper, haha. Jordan and Thomas came in later to keep him company, though. Jeremy and I noticed some weirdly-titled lectures going on at Regent in the near future... MEETING STRANGERS: GENETIC SCREENING?! Hahaha! Glad we can share humor, which helped me through certain dark days!

After the service, I gave Steph her mail, which turned out to be a waste of paper and money - she should know where the polling stations are by now! Also gave Jon his mail; in exchange, Harmony gave me some toothpaste and Axe body wash. They're trying to clean up in preparation for moving by July - they haven't found a place yet, but have some appointments lined up, Jon also gave me a bunch of durian candy - I gave most of it to Sam later, since I don't think the kids in Sunday School (his joking suggestion) would appreciate it. It definitely stank later on when the guys decided to eat some! Jon, Steph, and Harmony teased me about not sitting near them since that's where Dave Wong normally sits - Jeremy was around, and knew what they were talking about. I said hi to Mattias outside near the snacks after I'd had some coffee, who wanted to give me his Chinese bulletin! He later gave it to Olivia in exchange for a pretzel, then took it back... same with Sarah. Margaret had some chocolate shampoo, she said. Olivia said she'd just enjoy the time when she was taller than the kids - Jonathan said that he could tell him in about ten years about his various stages of life, haha... but his mom Karen advised him NOT to.

Went upstairs after a while... Ramen, Shira, Conor, Harrison, Amos, Amanda, Esther, Mattias, and two new kids named Jonathan and Ashley were there. Jonathan and Amanda were talking about gross silly stuff that Conor didn't want to hear about - "I don't care if you eat your poo on paper or underwear!" was just one of the things they came up with. I just kept Conor company while he drew and made paper planes. It was an interesting class, all right. Afterwards, I went downstairs to find Eric, Jon, and Christon - Selwyn wondered if Grandma needed a ride home. We couldn't find her (washroom?), so we told him no. We all went to Pho, meeting Dylan / Deb / Albert / Steph / Jeremy / Kelvin / Fred / Harmony there. Originally, Eric and I sat with Christon at our own table since the big group was already taking up a lot of space, and we wanted to sit away from Steph and Grandma - eventually, we sat at Steph and Grandma's table, and Wesley came in too. Talked about the JACK BAUER party (on the 24th?!!!), inviting Mom (WTF), anniversary, JACK BAUER character development, the Arizona immigration paper law / racial profiling / passports, hockey pool stuff, and more. Jon asked me for a translation of "tomorrow" because Grandma got too impatient and was beating the heat by sitting at the bus stop. He told her that he'd take her out to lunch tomorrow since he was teaching in Richmond, and Steph said that her Phoenix flight was at 7 AM - she also said she'd take Grandma to dinner tomorrow.

Later, Grandma hijacked Eric again - this time, we went to some Chinese shops to get BBQ duck, fish, and veggies. She insisted on buying Eric something besides lunch, but he said he didn't need anything... the fish and such looked unappetizing! He ended up with a mango, but of course I didn't give it to him - it should be okay. Then she was trying to say "Am I taking up your time?" to him in Chinese - she knows he doesn't understand it! She wondered whether he wanted to have dinner with us, but of course he has to eat with his parents too! She wasn't impressed because the car doors had to be slammed loudly, but that's how it is! Discussed Chinese, Cantonese, Mandarin, French, Korean, Japanese, differences between languages, WORLD OF WARCRAFT / BREATH OF FIRE, and other things. I told him that inviting Dave Wong for dinner will make Grandma get the wrong idea - he said maybe she'd get the RIGHT idea. Har har har. Got home and discovered that redrum had started - good thing I pay attention to my body! I noted that Dave Wong had left a "?!?" comment on my joke status about diarrhea, but had deleted it - I had to write on his wall to say that I was kidding. No, I didn't ask him where he was this weekend... transportation is made more difficult due to flat tires and such, for sure!

Game walkthrough dynamic shows up in dreams! / Dance Style

I've officially been watching too many game walkthroughs, since I dreamed that my life was like a video game where my party and I had to uncover Mr. Creep's true motivations in coming to church! Before the sun woke me up, Jon and Jeremy had discovered that he was a Dutch national who really wanted to collect little people as statues, and had his plan written out in green folders.

Now I've had a breakfast of milk and more butter cookies, plus pine nuts and cheese Nibs. Thanks for the odd breakfast, Grandma... she now thinks that we have unlimited time to do things (like eat a sandwich for breakfast?!) because Eric isn't here yet AND because I'm at the computer. Not so! Then again, she also thinks that the doctor is working - not till Wednesday, I guess. She was very surprised, haha. At least I remember what was said during phone conversations! No, I haven't told her yet that Eric and I are not available for lunch - maybe later, haha. She's also failed to close the door after bombing - uh, I do have a nose! She also thinks that Eric forgot about us since it's past 8:30, and that Eric and I are going out without telling her... NO!


Edit: I just got these messages from Corey...

Corey: Hi, Corey – You got a package from Leslie in Canada today. At least, that is what I thought until I looked closer. It is a package you sent to her, which was returned as "unclaimed." What should I do with it?
claim your packages!!!
me: I'm NOT HERE!
Corey: I sent that before I left... two months ago, now
me: I was going to say that it looks like the package isn't going to get here
me: and now I'm going to church - bye
as for what your parents are going to do with the package, I dunno

You Are the Hula Dance

You are sensual, exotic, and even a little mysterious. You are naturally a good dancer. You are very in tune with your body. You feel like you were born knowing how to move. You are a very generous and caring person. It lifts your spirits to make people happy. You think working hard is its own reward. And thanks you get are a bonus.

What's Your Dance Style?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

Personal roundsmen, lending pods, helicopter parents

Bingos of the night:

ROUNDSMEN (242 points) - against Jan H. [four 2W, bingo] {a good deficit-erasing word!}
PERSONAL (106 points) - against Luella R.

High-scoring words of the night:

HAMMY (102 points) - against Chris M. [4W, hook off COVE to make HE, 5L on Y]
PERSONAL (106 points) - against Luella R. [bingo, 4W, hook off NIB to make AN / LI]
RELEND (123 points) - against Specs W. [3W used twice, 3W, hook off YOU to make YOUR]
PODDING (325 points) - against Cherie P. [two 5W]


Steph called to see how things were going - at least that is not annoying! Told her about Grandma forgetting stuff, and she reminded me that the plan was for her to take Grandma out for lunch while Eric and I do our thing - yup, still sounds good as long as she lets Big G know that Eric and I will take her home later! She says she has the day off on Monday (finally!), so she can spend time with us - sounds good.

Trivia fact for Sunday, May 16: What are helicopter parents? Overanxious parents who hover over their children and monitor all aspects of their lives.