The Good Wife Guide: 19 Rules for Keeping a Happy Husband
1. A Wife's Duty - A man's home is his castle, and as such, he ought to be treated like a king. When he returns home from a demanding eight hours on the job (or more!), he rightfully deserves a bit of pampering. It's every wife's responsibility to dote upon her hard-working spouse, to show that he is truly appreciated!
2. Recipe for Success - Just as it would be unthinkable to serve frozen TV dinners or reheated leftovers to an honored guest, these offerings should not be considered acceptable dinner fare for the man you adore. Give him a hearty homecooked meal - one that's prepared from scratch and seasoned with love. The hours you spend over a hot stove will be repaid in full when he eagerly asks for seconds!
3. Put Your Best Face Forward - Before he arrives home from work, take a few minutes to transform yourself from toiling housewife to vixen of earthly delight. Give your hair an extra shellacking of hairspray, re-apply your makeup, and trade in your housecoat for a stylish frock that shows off your figure.
4. Cleanliness... It's Next To Godliness! - Make sure the house is spotless before he's due to arrive home. Give the furniture a quick dusting, pick up any wayward toys, and make sure all unsightly laundry and ironing has been put away. Your house should be sparkling by the time he sets foot in it!
5. A Happy Homecoming - When your husband walks through the front door, take his coat and guide him to his favorite easy chair. Offer him the evening newspaper, his slippers, and a dry martini to take the edge off. If he appears fatigued or cranky from his traffic-laden commute, a relaxing foot rub or shoulder massage may be in order.
6. Greet Him With A Smile - Nothing says "Welcome home, dear" better than an ear-to-ear expression of your love - that's right, a smile! With just one glance at your face, your husband should know that his very presence marks the pinnacle of your day.
7. Prepare For Contingencies - It's normal for nine holes of golf to turn into eighteen, or for a meeting at work to run long. If your husband forgets to call and tell you when he's going to be late, don't make him feel even worse by giving him a hard time about it. After all, only an elephant never forgets!
8. At The Dinner Table - Anticipate your spouse's needs by refilling his plate before he asks. When it comes to your own plate, remember that less is more. Certainly, the moist layer cake with butter cream frosting you baked this morning looks appetizing, but it won't do your waistline any favors!
9. "Honey, How Was Your Day?" - No matter how trying your own day may have been, don't burden him with your trivial woes. He's had to deal with enough aggravations at work, and he depends on you to be his respite from such drudgery! If he chooses to vent about his day, on the other hand, it is your job to lend a caring sympathetic ear.
10. Be Witty and Conversant - With a table full of dirty dishes waiting to be scoured and stacked, your day's work has hardly ended, but that's no excuse for failing to be a lively companion. Engage your husband in stimulating conversation ranging from news of the day to world events, but don't appear too opinionated or knowledgeable about any given subject. A good wife defers to her husband on all points, intellectual or otherwise.
11. Decisions, Decisions! - After toiling for his demanding employer all day, a man wants to be made to feel as though he's the boss when he crosses his own threshold. Let him dictate important matters at home, from selecting the evening's television program to choosing what he'd like you to serve for his bedtime snack.
12. Follow His Lead - Occasionally, your husband's mind may be far too pre-occupied to engage in idle chitchat. If, instead of hanging onto your every word, he mumbles one-word responses to your questions while perusing the newspaper or watching his favorite television program, don't take it personally. Sometimes saying "I love you" means saying nothing at all.
13. Hush, Little Children - Children are a blessing, but they can put a tremendous strain on their father's frazzled nerves. Encourage your children to use their "quiet voices" when Daddy comes home, and try to minimize rambunctious behavior.
14. A Mother's Day Never Ends - Once dinner ends and the kitchen has been cleaned, usher your wee darlings upstairs for a bath and bedtime. Your spouse will be grateful for a bit of solitude as you tend to the little ones in an efficient, orderly fashion.
15. Spread Gladness, Not Badness - When possible, try to spare your husband from the nuisance of life's little troubles. Now is not the time to present him with a stack of bills - or the fact that little Jimmy flunked his spelling test. If you can handle such crises without having to needlessly bother your husband, you'll leave him available to deal with more important matters.
16. Sing His Praises: A few well-placed compliments are certain to garner your husband's favor. Tell him he "cuts a fine figure" in his dapper work duds, or marvel at his business acumen when he relays a story from the office. His ego will appreciate the boost, and may even put him in the mood for romance!
17. All In A Day's Work - A man's needs are simple and his requests are few. In that case, it should be a pleasure (not a chore) to put his happiness ahead of your own. Don't expect special acknowledgement or words of praise for your efforts. It is your role to support him and make him feel special, not the other way around!
18. Between The Sheets - When your darling man suggests that you "slip into something a little more comfortable," he's not referring to your ankle-length flannel nightgown. Entice him in the bedroom by forgoing your cold cream and curlers in favor of a seductive negligee. Be a tantalizing temptress in those few short minutes before your husband falls asleep. Once he's out like a light, you can steal a few more "home work" minutes, rolling out the dough for tomorrow morning's light and flaky Danish. Then it's off to bed for you, too. After all, you'll have to rise early to make sure he awakes to the smell of percolating coffee!
19. A Job Well Done! - At the end of each day, survey your home and family, and ask yourself one important questions: "Have I inspired domestic tranquility?" With a little extra elbow grease and a "Can do!" attitude, you too can answer each and every day with a resounding "Yes!"
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