Saturday, March 03, 2007

I'll take the unexpected dinner invite since God worked by giving you a sore throat!

Got a surprise this afternoon, as Henry was driving his sister's car. He had to take his nieces to Awana, so there was a good reason, haha. Gwyneth and Evelyn asked why I walked funny: I wish I could walk normally, but I can't! Their uncle and I turned it around on them by asking whether they'd like it if we asked them why they weren't (for example) six feet tall already, haha. Eventually, the girls fell asleep despite saying they wouldn't, so I told Henry about Resonate and Dragon Ball. He figures that the "best" means that there are untapped frontiers in town.. hey, go tell my brother about that since HE's the one who says that their pearls are the best around here! Then again, he was also tired since he had to work early this morning... what can you do about those coffee shops that just HAVE to open early? Heh.

At Awana, I said hi to Hunter in the kitchen while I was getting some water to drink. Later, Auntie Vivian gave me a copy of an email she'd sent Andrew / Golden / Amos / Jason earlier in the week about their secretarial duties. Eh, I guess it's all part of the team thing even though I'm never there by 4 these days! Andrew told me that he was going to exchange his eight quarters for a toonie later from the dues - it didn't matter to me what he did as long as he kept the money amount straight! His two cousins Betty and Rita were newcomers today, and they were pretty shy even if they didn't really understand English! (I see the resemblance between their mom and his mom - sisters!) Melia, Andrew, and I spent ten minutes trying to convince them to color OR go to the Awana Store to see the stuff in there... no go, so we let them alone. (he doesn't interact with them much, so isn't sure how they'd do in school if they don't speak English) They jumped on the spot, but nothing else. Andrew decided to draw a Hello Kitty based on Rita's vest on a coloring sheet, then folded it and put it in her pocket. (he likes folding things) He says he's used to Rita's glare at home, and that it's chaotic at their place since they're playing tag and such! It's okay: time and patience are needed in a new environment. At the store, Amos asked if I'd seen Andrew turn into a moose before... nope! Then he broke the string on the moose mask since his head was too big for it: those are made for KIDS, man!

Later, Amos said that his leg hurt because he forgot to stretch after he went running: that'll do it! Then he almost forgot to come back out to help me with the handbook points - that wouldn't have been very good, heh. Our small group met after Awana, but I had to leave early since Henry was done with his small group. Teresa had shown up in the basement, so it was a crowded car of five people! I was surprised when she invited me out to dinner with them, but took it in stride. You'd think I'd handle these things BETTER with time, and not worse. :P

I had no idea what to choose - no hot and sour soup, and no real preference. Henry just wanted chocolate since he could have it as an adult for dinner if he so chose... that or the Thai House, but that was out for various reasons. (so was Applebee's since it wasn't in Richmond) Teresa couldn't have pizza and other things since she was also sick. The girls quickly made some decisions: Earl's! Pizza Hut! Ikea! Food court! Stuff outside Richmond when we'd already gone across the bridge and weren't going back across it! But the three adults all suffered from some decision-making block, haha. Tsim Chai, perhaps... but I'd gone there very recently. Maybe Indian food or Kelsey's, but that wouldn't be good about now. Finally, we settled on some Hong Kong-style café called E-Canteen near Paterson Restaurant and the Alleluia Café - I think it used to be Topgun restaurant, but am not sure. First, Henry had to go embarrass himself at the local Rogers Video because his uncle returned a BLOCKBUSTER thing there: how do you do that when there's a big logo right on the box?!

Gwyneth was complaining because her tummy hurt: she did have some snacks at Awana (not at home), but she was fine after she ate something. Henry marveled at the size of my piece of salmon on my sizzling plate - I ordered a sizzling plate because I wanted to try one, and he did too. We figured that "medium-rare" wasn't quite as advertised since the sizzle cooked our steaks and such even more! Evelyn learned about loss (she'll survive) when her Cubbie patches were taken away with the menu... no, her sister shouldn't remind her about it! Talked about an in-joke involving minced meat and fried rice: yes, my sibs and I have lots of inside jokes, so I understand! Apparently, their sister Janet has Henry's car - interesting! Discussed books, reading, Henry playing his PSP at the table (future generations will never talk while at dinner!), my parents, church life (yeah, my parents were two of the founders), Julie and Elaine's mom Auntie Cynthia being sick with cancer again, unsanitary cloths at coffee shops, going out for hot and sour soup when we were both better, the Mad Greek and the karaoke place, Janet having NEVER seen FORREST GUMP (huh?!), Henry getting a sore throat tonight (God works! haha), the kids, etc. Of course I thanked her for the meal even if she did owe me dinner from last year! (she assured Gwyneth that I'd be over for dinner one time - it's funny whenever she asks me why Henry drives me home on Saturdays instead of to their place, haha)

You know it's not a good time to do laundry when you hear someone cursing rather vociferously at the appliances in the room before you even open the door! o_O

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Mondo amounts of Vitamin C, vampirism, car prayers

What is the point of having coupons on the other side of the label, Chunky Soup? By the time you get the label off, it's all ripped up anyhow! (or it is if you're a klutz like me... :P) But hey, this Tropicana orange juice has 120% the recommended daily amount of Vitamin C, so that's gotta be good for fighting this cold, no matter how gross my sister thinks it is!

Technically, I shouldn't even go to Awana this afternoon / the toddler Sunday School tomorrow if I'm the least bit sick. But I've missed so much already due to that bus tour, no rides, and other reasons that I'll feel bad if I don't go. (even if nobody will say anything because hey, I AM NOT WELL!) Let's just hope I don't infect any of the kiddies, haha. I'll just have a Japanese Original Cake (no, really... that's what this bun is called!) with some chicken noodle soup now, and get William to go on a Halls run to 7-11 later. If he's not there, I guess I'll have to deal with it, heh. I say this entitles me to an extra week with the stuff that Auntie Vivian let me borrow last Saturday, haha... definitely didn't feel like reading much!

Checked blogs: Dawn has musings about work, which doesn't permit her to go near windows during the job hours. Oh well, at least you can be a vampire while you're being legitimately productive, har har. (I need some of that, heh) Her laptop is now named Lazarus: fitting, since it always seems to have an extra bit of life in it even after five years. Now I need someone to help me with my computer, heh... Eric, come here! (hahaha... we'll see what happens later on) Spoz has the usual weekender roundup, too.

Vivian practically lives the practicum life (and church on weekends), but at least she has measures of sanity in between all the French stress! Randal has this amusing prayer for his car which name-drops other expensive (I'm assuming) brands like crazy... Lexus! Hyundai! Mercedes! ("Would the car I drive alter my personality?!") I almost thought it would end "Thank you, Lord, for this car... but no thanks for crashing it in the ditch!!!" Maybe that's just me, and I'm being morbid. For the record, I do not wish for such things to happen to my friends. Although something similar DID happen to him with his last car, apparently... yikes!

Were it a few years ago, I'd be going into a LONG paragraph about how thankful I am that the incident "spared his life" (as he himself puts it!), but no. Don't get me wrong, I am... but that's not my style nowadays, not even on Thanksgiving. Speaking of Thanksgiving, I don't wish to remember certain events! (darn that Richmond Crew! :P) He also has stuff about revolutions and politics and world history, but those aren't as paragraph-worthy in my own blog simply because I can't be funny about them! Oh wait, a post about cultural eating manners reminds me of a book I borrowed from the library once. Very interesting, and it's too bad I don't remember what all was in there! It had different cultural manners and what you should NOT do in certain places around the world. What's acceptable in one place may not necessarily be acceptable in another, and may indeed mean something derogatory! Imagine that... so you need to be careful when travelling around the world, kids! ;)

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Fish, Playstation 2, and regifting stuff from the Taiwanese president

Here are some more of Corey's Taiwan impressions from last night:

[19:20:32] Corey: o_O
[23:51:44] Flami: Plates mean nothing!: ???
[23:52:32] Corey: guess what I had for breakfast
[23:54:11] Flami: strudel! no, wait... that's what I had for dessert tonight
[23:54:18] Flami: SLB
[23:57:02] Corey: right! for the second time
[23:58:15] Corey: in Tainan (a city here), there is a shrimp roll shop. you can only get them fresh there, and frozen in 7-11s around the country... haven't had frozen, but fresh quite easily kicks SLB's ass, as well as probably all other food here :P
[23:58:37] Corey: regular dumplings are also a bit better than SLB since they don't fall apart as easily
[23:58:53] Corey: pretty similar, though
[00:03:44] Flami: right for only the second time? COREY!
[00:05:15] Corey: I've had various kinds of dumplings lots of times :P
[00:05:35] Corey: plus, you can only get SLB in the morning in most places, and we've been sleeping in
[00:06:22] Corey: they have lots of stuff more interesting than SLB in the evening :P I've had various types of hot pot about four times now
[00:06:28] Corey: that is pretty good
[00:06:36] Corey: the fish here kicks ass too
[00:17:43] Flami: hot pot is very good in the winter
[00:19:31] Flami: what kind of fish did you have?
[00:23:07] Corey: I dunno, lots of stuff
[00:23:17] Corey: nobody usually knows the English name
[00:28:30] Flami: well, as long as it was good, then..
[00:31:38] Flami: guess what sort of bubble tea I just got in from having
[00:34:50] Corey: bubble tea flavored tea
[00:35:15] Corey: I like it with the bigger balls, not the little ones
[00:35:18] Corey: and no ice!
[00:36:33] Flami: ..... raspberry-mango with milk, slush, full sugar, and coconut jelly
[00:42:35] Flami: why no ice?
[00:54:38] Corey: it melts after a while and makes it watery, then the last part is gross
[01:11:26] Flami: just get it with slush :P
[01:15:11] Flami: that doesn't melt and make it watery much
[01:32:23] Flami: obligatory 24 reference: BOMB!!! KILL THE PRESIDENT!! KILL TOM LENNOX!!!
[01:46:27] Corey: that's not nice
[01:47:22] Flami: since when is 24 a "nice" show? :P
[01:54:22] Flami: certain people are plotting to kill the president, and thought someone was in on it until the last second, so they gagged him in a closet
[01:56:50] Corey: I got a present from the president here
[01:58:40] Corey: the Taiwan president :P
[01:58:44] Corey: a big box!
[01:58:53] Corey: I had to get rid of the box to get it into my suitcase
[02:01:24] Flami: you are not serious
[02:02:21] Corey: 100% serious, but it was regifted to me through someone else :P but the president gave it to that person
[02:02:46] Corey: Jane's uncle is a general in the army here, and was part of the people that guarded the president recently or something
[02:03:10] Corey: he also hooked us up with a free room in an army hotel / base thing in another city
[02:03:42] Corey: four rooms actually, I think...
[02:04:29] Corey: it's just a gift box full of cookies and stuff
[02:05:01] Corey: pretty massive though :P taking it out of the box made it quite a bit smaller, and I'm actually leaving one part of it since I don't have any room for it, and there were two of that anyway :P
[02:15:14] Flami: cool stuff
[02:17:27] Corey: I bought a Playstation 2 here too
[02:18:07] Corey: two actually, sorta :P I bought one for myself yesterday, but earlier we bought one (well, Jane and her brother did) for Jane's mom, so she can play Mahjong games
[02:18:20] Corey: they're ready for copied games straight from the stores here :P
[02:18:39] Corey: Jane's mom's won't play copied PS1 games though, or there's a trick we don't know about to run them...
[02:19:38] Corey: mine can because I made Jane ask a few shops if they could, and brought pirate US PS1 and PS2 games to test before I paid for it :P so mine works with PS1 games too.. but there's a trick to starting a PS1 game where you hit reset twice in a row to make it play
[02:19:46] Corey: PS2 games require no trick
[02:20:14] Corey: I have a real PS1 that plays pirate games, but the CD motor is pretty shot, so it doesn't work well anymore.. stuff skips a lot
[02:20:58] Corey: I already have a bunch of PS2 games that I downloaded after finding a semi-working PS2 emulator.. but the PS2 emulators definitely aren't ready for playing games seriously yet.. and probably require a new computer to play them smoothly anyway
[02:48:49] Flami: makes sense... going to bed since it's almost 3 AM here, and I'm still sick :P
[03:08:22] Corey: had to go to dinner. I'll probably talk to you from home next, my plane leaves in a little over 21 hours

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Cackling and Purell are NOT connected!

Got to our meeting place late, but there's no way I'm leaving 15 minutes earlier to save 30 seconds of running time for the bus! Stupid Translink site is on crack... I told Eric that as soon as I got in the car, and he thought I was talking about myself. YOU WISH! I also brought out my Purell; contrary to what Eric seemed to think, it was RASPBERRY smell and not PUTRID-smelling! Then I cackled, so he thought the two were connected: no, I just thought of something funny when I had to kill all the germs I encountered on my way there! (especially since I'm still sick) We talked about a certain subject: I am SO not going there, dude! He complained about some car with its emergency lights on blocking a lane of traffic - SO DARNED SLOW before we went to get gas! Listened to some hockey coverage on Team 1040 before he asked if I'd blogged about any cool interesting craziness this week: nope, since I was sick with what I had! He asked what that was, so I told him exactly what that was.

As we neared the church, he asked me about what I'd said before I hung up this afternoon: "How am I going to eat a banana?" Oh, you'll see... I gave him the banana when we walked into church, even as he tried to argue that he had no time (even 10 seconds) to stuff his face with such things. Yes, you do because I SAY SO! He went back out since he forgot his wallet in the car, so I went out with him because I was going to have some Pho. Ended up having a large bowl instead of a small, but that was fine since I probably needed it with the red spicy sauce! Saw Dylan there with a bunch of papers in front of him - Eric later explained that he had to wake up at 6 to do some testing. Once I got back to church after dinner, Resonate set-up / tuning was in full swing. Stanley pointed out that the yellow "Welcome To Resonate!" graphic looked fine on the overhead projector screen, but was GOLD on the laptop... coolness! (I had to see it for myself)

Waved hi to Cordia and Danielle, and asked Christon about the tapes - Sunday it is! Dad passed me on his way out and didn't seem impressed with my choice of reading. Hey, true crime should be read about in the church because some of it happens in that setting, haha! Then Randal tried to squeeze by me: I wasn't having any of that, so moved over instead. We talked about murder, days off, and his weekend before Resonate started officially. Talked to Andrea, Chuck (who leaves tomorrow), Raymond, Nathan, and some more to Randal: Why the heck can't I just say stuff out loud instead of keeping it to myself? I have NO idea... oh well. Jon's first talk in front of people he knows (or anywhere, on Rev. 3) went pretty well, and of course he managed to slip in references to Danielle's bandwagon tendencies when it comes to the Edmonton Oilers! Certainly gave me some stuff to think about, for sure. Stanley and Jeremy found something pretty funny during the beginning, and "being hotter for God!" made everyone laugh / cringe. (Jon: "Is my fly down? *checks* No...") Eric's yellow Powerpoint directions for YOU ARE HOLY were hilarious to us for some reason: yes, we need switching reminders!

Steph's service auction descriptions were funny as well, though she might want to tone it down for Sunday morning! She later found it curious why Randal hadn't asked her about her laser eye surgery directly, instead choosing to ask me... *shrug* It was during the middle of Resonate, and I was right there? Eh, I dunno... whatever works and is more expedient! I can just imagine him flagging her down in the middle of the announcements and asking that: SAVE IT FOR LATER, haha. Cordia played some anime music on the piano, and Vanessa thought it sounded pretty. (Quan and Joyce weren't there tonight for some reason!) Talked to Daniel about photos and his dad's insistence on paying for everything even if they weren't with him: he / Nathan / Michelle bumped into him at T&T once. Dad insisted on paying for some buns (NO, NOT NECESSARY!), so they ditched him and came back an hour later, thinking he was gone. Nope, he was still there!

I had a strudel / apple turnover later even though I probably shouldn't have... but they were pretty good, as were the grapes! Healthy stuff, as Janette described it. Vania and I both wanted to know what Martin meant when he said he had a weird week - "let's say God has a good sense of humor" isn't going to cut it, dude! Joey came in later from an accounting exam that he had seriously failed: 29 out of 60, ouch! Asked Steph to pour me some orange juice for cold prevention / healing with the Vitamin C: she didn't look too impressed! Looked at the service auction items on offer, and someone said that Steph could buy bread / rice / potatoes / starchy items for her "pound of food for the Food Bank for every dollar donated" item. Someone joked around about heavy glass / metal containers, and someone else suggested treats. She COULD have done "0.1 pound of food for every dollar," but that would have looked kinda cheap - the Chinese congregation will probably go wild for certain items, haha. (house cleaning? music lessons?) Randal just doesn't want to be outbid on "his" hand cream for cracked skin, so good luck on that.

Talked to Jeremy briefly - he'd biked there, and also got a cold this week. Not much else to say beyond that, haha. Some of us talked about a certain TV show... the President isn't going to be dead, no way! Steph talked about the hockey pool with Sam, Joey, Darren, Mike, and others - lots of stuff to do before the trade freeze / deadline! Talked to Andrea and Connie, who had gone up to thank Jon for his message. Connie says Jenny's in Washington (DC) for some residents' course, and missed the first day because of the big snow dump there: imagine getting a phone call at 4 AM saying your flight's cancelled, and getting a new time. Most people were there already too, but the six weeks should be okay since she'll travel around the area too! Connie will just enjoy being home alone - sleeping whenever, doing whatever when you want, etc. But you know when you get to missing your sister, it's only 6 weeks! Some of us also discussed Facebook: Grace changed her status on there, and had ALL her friends messaging her, haha. It's likely to be too fast for me! o_O

The Richmond Crew went with Nathan to Dragon Ball. On the way there, we discussed a certain subject: I don't know about it, really. When we got there, I saw a free table! Eric took over "reserving" duties from me, and then Jon tried convincing me to use his free bubble tea on the stamp card: not really needed this month, thanks! Nathan found some pretty interesting exercises in a Chinese magazine, and wondered where the steps for one started: the white man had to tell him, haha! "See, it says START here... although I don't know why it just doesn't do that where you'd expect it to!" Steph got #24 and had to show us! I got a raspberry-mango, and Jon paid for Nathan's since he owes him a LOT of money for their sponsor child! ($20 a month for a year?!) Nathan then noticed some NG exercises, so of course Steph had to take pictures of that. Then she showed me a "MAINTENANCE" sign she'd seen on the Skytrain - yeah, I'm so sure it has to do with Chapters Dumps! We talked about that and diarrhea while traveling - no Imodium, please! (FIVE DAYS?!) I read part of an article about an abusive ex-football player who killed his wife, too! HORRIBLE!

Since everyone except me had to get up early tomorrow, we left shortly after downing our bubble teas. Steph doesn't want Jon to show up on Pastor Edward's lawn at 6:30 AM, haha.. thank goodness there was an alternate plan! On the way home, we talked about steamy windows / skunks / jokingly threatening to kill people in front of others / bookmarks / Angus and his "home clothes" excuse of last Saturday for dinner - they drive out to BURNABY every time for you, and don't make such excuses! / Spoons and Youtube / weekend plans / being a man with boobs / Kernel dump errors / Amacon / laptop backups. Interesting times!

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Friday, March 02, 2007

January-February 2007 BBT Tally / McDonald's Breakfast Bagel Sandwiches


honeydew @ Tazza (Thursday, Jan. 4)
strawberry @ Tazza (Friday, Feb. 23)

McDonald's Breakfast Bagel Sandwiches

Spanish Omelet Bagel

2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon creamy dill mustard

2 teaspoons minced green pepper
2 teaspoons minced white onion
4 eggs
1 teaspoon butter
ground black pepper
8 ounces breakfast sausage

4 plain bagels
4 slices Kraft Singles American cheese
4 slices Kraft Singles Monterey Jack cheese

1. First, prepare the sauce by combining the mayonnaise with the dill mustard in a small bowl. Set this aside until you are ready to use it.

2. To prepare the eggs, it's best to make one at a time in a small 6-inch skillet. If you have more than one of these small pans, you can save a little time.

3. First preheat pan over low heat. Add 1/4 teaspoon of butter. Add 1/2 teaspoon of minced green pepper along with 1/2 teaspoon minced white onion to the pan and sauté for a couple of minutes, or until soft.

4. Beat an egg in a small bowl with a whisk until it is smooth, but not foamy. Add a pinch of salt and pepper to the egg. Add the egg to the pan with the vegetables. Swirl the pan so that the egg spreads out. As the egg begins to cook, use a spatula to pull in a couple of the edges so that raw egg flows from the top onto the hot pan. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, then fold over one of the edges of the egg using a spoon or fork. Fold it down about an inch. Fold the opposite end over as well. Then fold the remaining two edges over, creating a small rectangular or square mini-omelet. Flip the little omelets over and turn off the heat.

5. Press the sausage into four 2-ounce patties approximately the size of the bagel. Cook the sausage in a large skillet over medium heat until brown. Drain when done.

6. Slice a bagel in half and place it with the faces up on a baking sheet. Grill the faces of the bagel halves in your oven, set on broil, until golden brown. You may also use a toaster oven for this step, but be sure to place the sliced bagel halves onto a small baking sheet or on aluminum foil.

7. When the bagels are toasted, spread about 1/2 tablespoon of the sauce onto the face of the bottom bagel half.

8. Place a slice of Monterey Jack cheese onto the face of the bottom bagel half.

9. Place a sausage patty on the cheese on the Jack cheese.

10. Place the finished omelet onto the sausage and then place the American cheese on the omelet.

11. Finish the sandwich with the bagel top, and heat for 15 seconds in the microwave if needed to warm. Repeat for remaining servings. Makes 4 servings.

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Yes, you WILL eat a banana because I said so! HAHAHA!

Eric did call me from work, but I was preoccupied. Called him back as he got on MSN to talk - 5:40 it is, and he WILL eat a banana because I've ordered it to be so, mwahahaha! Maybe I'll get a small spicy Pho once we get to church, too. Also had the dentist office call me when I was going to call them as soon as I was better. Tuesday, 3/20 at 2 PM is something I can possibly work with, hehe. I just realized that I can't / shouldn't eat any candy or similar stuff, so I won't enjoy like half the stuff I blogged about yesterday in my food entry till later. Oh well, it's better that way for me! Now to hope I stay awake and reasonably energized tonight... *thunk*

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Kernel Dumps / MSN messages / weird dream of Dylan and a choir

What the heck is a Kernel Dump Error? I know it's serious enough to cause a dark blue screen of death, and restart the computer on you... ugh.

Oh yay. This stress illness turned into a cold yesterday morning. Good thing I have Vitamin C in my orange juice which is NOT from Orange Julius! I don't get it since I hadn't been out since Monday. If one of THEM made me sick, it's all the more reason to stay home and avoid other people's germs! UGH. Right now, I'm eating spicy noodles to see if that does anything - likely not. Called Nina yesterday, but she wasn't answering. Oh well, at least I left a message.

Eric had left me messages on MSN: of course I wasn't there since I was trying to recover my energy by resting! Something about the usual intersection at 5:50 and calling to confirm today... we'll see, my friend. (he hasn't yet!) Corey had also left me a message on MSN: "poo poo poo, and pee pee pee." How mature - NOT!

Had a weird dream which involved Dylan conducting pretty much all the church folk aged 15-35 in a huge choir in the sanctuary. Mike and his sister Margaret were bugging each other by pushing on the other's shoes, and we had to leave when our parents wanted the room. So we went up a huge flight of stairs to the balcony, which had a purple theme with all these service attendants and white chairs. I remember remarking to someone that if I had to go up these stairs again, I'd kill. Some people used a pole to get up to the balcony, but then we couldn't find them later! I encountered a guy in a wheelchair whose name was Matt Louie, and who could go around really fast thanks to silver grooves in the bike racks. Then I tried going down a pole myself, but got stuck. Ivan informed me that only a bomb expert could extricate me... then I somehow remembered that this was a dream within a dream, and got myself out that way. Very weird...

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Since when is alcohol an activity?! / McDonald's Shakes

On my package of Tylenol cold pills: Avoid alcohol, driving, or other activities requiring alertness.

Gee, I didn't know alcohol was an activity which requires alertness! Damn grammar mistakes which could change the meaning of a sentence...

Hey, we won 4-3 against the Coyotes! Next up is the Minnesota Wild on Pay-Per-View. I bet Diven will be watching THAT one, haha.

Going to bed early, so I'll leave you with this:

McDonald's Shakes

All right, it's the middle of summer and it's dang hot out. Wouldn't it be nice if we could whip up a little something to help keep those beads of sweat from rollin'? Check out how simple it is to recreate any of the three flavors of McDonald's thick shakes from scratch. Just three ingredients to each clone. And the secret ingredient for the chocolate and strawberry flavors is Nesquik mix. How McEasy is that? Throw everything in a blender and press a button -- the one on the right. And if you want your shake thicker, just put it in the freezer for a while. That's it!

Vanilla Shake
2 cups vanilla ice cream
1 1/4 cups low fat milk
3 tablespoons sugar

Chocolate Shake
2 cups vanilla ice cream
1 1/4 cups low fat milk
2 tablespoons chocolate flavor Nesquik mix

Strawberry Shake
2 cups vanilla ice cream
1 1/4 cups low fat milk
3 tablespoons strawberry flavor Nesquik mix

1. Combine all ingredients for the shake flavor of your choice in a blender and mix on high speed until smooth. Stop blender, stir, and blend again if necessary to combine ingredients.
2. Pour into two 12-ounce cups. Serves 2.

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New ice cream and microwave meals suit me just fine, and so do bananas!

YES! THE EVIL SNOW MELTED! I'm good to go for tomorrow and the rest of the weekend, provided it doesn't snow AGAIN. :P

I went food shopping just now, and picked up some microwave meals - Stouffer's (NOT Pastaria) has new ones: Thai Ginger Beef, Grilled Balsamic Chicken, and Barbecue Chicken. (also bought some Hungry Man Salisbury Steak and Pasta Lover's) Saw some Breyers Brownie Mud Pie ice cream, which I definitely picked up since it was new - there was also some Reese's Peanut Butter Cup / fudge ice cream, which I also picked up since it was $2 off, haha. Remembered to pick up bananas and Ziploc bags: those items are necessary if Diven's going to have any rushed pre-Resonate sustenance. I should also tell him that I don't have a receipt for those sour cream and onion chips I picked up for the last Spiritual Formation night. Evil convenience store clerks...

Speaking of those kinds of chips, I picked a bag up for Karen Lew since she likes those things. I'll just give her the card and chips a week early (assuming I can get my brother to sign the card on time) so she can enjoy them before they expire on May 2! I also picked up some ketchup chips for myself, since the large bags were on sale. Hadn't realized I missed them so much before I read a question about them earlier this week. Also picked up a LOT of Snow's clam chowder (Manhattan - red, AND the white kind - New England... it says so right on the can, sigh!), Baxter's lobster and seafood bisque, seafood chowder, and other soupy things. Since my sister mentioned how I could bus over for some Gatorade yesterday, I decided to cut the middle part out and buy some of my own... electrolytes are good when you're sick / recovering! ;) Have one bottle chilling in the fridge for later, heh.

Of course, I also picked up the usual sort of stuff. Barry wondered why I bought such heavy things since he had to carry the majority of it to my door (no shopping carts outside): because I can! I also saw someone who looked like James Cromwell outside Save-On, so of course my first thought was: "AAAH! It's Philip Bauer! I better run before he kills me!" Yeah, I watch too much 24...

I also threw out the water which tasted like butt from earlier in the week when I was sick. No, I do not have any knowledge of what butt tastes like... that's just a comparison. :P

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STUPID SNOW! / Blonde survey

I got up today because it was really sunny, although I could have used more rest (and mintiness) since I'm still recovering from stress illness. :P Looked out the window to see SNOW! Damn you, killer snow! It better melt / wash away by tomorrow, otherwise I am NOT going out this weekend... I'll make up excuses if I have to! Okay, I probably won't, but it better be okay to walk on later when I have to go shopping! Never mind tomorrow night, haha. *grumbles at stupid weather*

Blonde survey, from Mandy via Myspace bulletin.


[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for "hurting" you.
[x] You have run into a glass / screen door.
[] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree / bush.
so far: 4

[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[] You never knew that the alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
so far: 7

[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[] You've never seen the Matrix.
[] You type only with two fingers.
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
so far: 10

[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[] Sometimes when you are telling a story, you forget what you were talking about.
[] People often shake their heads at your stories.
[] You are often told to use your "inside voice."
so far: 11

[] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[] You have eaten a bug accidentally.
[] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something, and realized it was in your hand / pocket the whole time.
so far: 13

[] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[] You break a lot of things.
[] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "ew" is used many times a day.
[] You're probably going to have to use a calculator to multiply this....
total score = 14

NOW, take that number and multiply it by 4 and REPOST this as "___% blonde" (56%)

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said: March 2007

These stupid quotes are from The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar 2007.

Page-A-Day Calendars

Thursday, Mar. 1: The Pentagon... Always So Verbose

Pentagon description of Titan II nuclear missile: A very large potentially disruptive re-entry system.

Friday, Mar. 2: Thanks, But No Thanks

"Genital wart volunteers needed" - classified ad in the Washington Post

Saturday, Mar. 3: I Think We Can Figure Out Where This Film Is Heading

Girl: Excuse me - how far is it to Camp Crystal Lake?
[everyone looks at her in horror]
Waitress [after an ominous silence]: What is it, Enos, about twenty miles?
Truck driver: About that.
Local woman: Camp BLOOD? They're opening that place again?
- from the movie Friday the 13th (1980)

Sunday, Mar. 4: Something's A Little Wrong Here...

"You should not leave someone's ashes on a doorstep, whether they are deceased or not." - funeral director Tim Bull

Monday, Mar. 5: Virgins Who Take It Really Seriously

VIRGIN HOLDS OFF 10,000 IN PEACHTREE - headline in the Lewiston (Idaho) Morning Tribune, about long-distance runner Craig Virgin's victory in the Atlanta Peachtree Classic race

Tuesday, Mar. 6: Serious Congressional Threats

"If you don't get those cameras out of my face, I'm gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that'll clear this room!" - Congressman James Traficant (D-Ohio) to photojournalists covering his House ethics subcommittee hearing

Wednesday, Mar. 7: What Does An Abnormal Inverting Sparkle Look Like?


2. CHECK BEFORE BEING USED: Let the tool have nonloading for one minute and see whether the function of the transmission position is flexible and there is abnormal noise, and the scraws become flexible and fall off and the inverting sparkle is normal or not.
- instructions for an electric hand drill made in China (thanks to Paul Brogger)

Thursday, Mar. 8: Weird Tennis Commentary

"As Boris Becker sits there, his eyes staring out in front of him, I wonder what he's thinking. I think he's thinking: "I am Boris Becker." At least, I hope that's what he's thinking." - tennis commentator John Barrett

Friday, Mar. 9: Uh, Just WHAT Were You Going To Say!

"Your Honor, in the first place, as they say, I am going to say it. I was going to say what you said, and the reason I am going to say it is not because you just said it. If you had not said it, I was going to say it first." - lawyer speaking to a judge, recorded in court testimony

Saturday, Mar. 10: It Depends What the Meaning of "Forever" Is

"I think when you get married, it should be forever. Even though I did get married once, and it was annulled." - singer Courtney Love

Sunday, Mar. 11: Whizbang Promotional Ideas


Monday, Mar. 12: Well, We Wouldn't Be Too Concerned About That Then

Reporter: Do you have any concerns about opening your NBA season in Tokyo?
L.A. Clippers forward Bobby Simpson: Well, I don't like Chinese food.
(thanks to Richard Oberholzer)

Tuesday, Mar. 13: Difficult Propositions

"It's too early to think about these things, but we can talk about them." - entertainment radio host Robert Elms

Wednesday, Mar. 14: Clichés We've Never Heard Before

"Free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." - President George W. Bush

Thursday, Mar. 15: We Get The Point

"We were scoring, they were scoring. Then we stopped scoring and they kept scoring." - basketball player Tyronn Lue, on his team's seven-minute scoring drought in the fourth quarter of a game (thanks to Richard Oberholzer)

Friday, Mar. 16: Just What Kind of Church is This, Anyway?

Dedication and commencement of Ecumenical Stud Groups on the theme "Growing Together." - from a church newsletter, Greater Manchester (England) [They meant to write "Study Groups."]

Saturday, Mar. 17: "Can't Argue With That" Department

Game show host Bob Eubanks (asking questions of people on the street): A way to a man's heart is?
Woman: Through beer.

Sunday, Mar. 18: Hospitals: Perfect For The Verbose

"A national magazine says Loma Linda University Medical Center is the place to go for treatment of broken bones, stomach, ear, nose, or throat problems, or blabber ailments." - San Bernadino (California) Sun (thanks to Tanya Maes)

Monday, Mar. 19: Boy, That's A Relief!

PANTY PESTS EASY TO CONTROL - headline in the Oconto County (Wisconsin) Reporter

Tuesday, Mar. 20: International Brand Names From Hell

Smeg: refrigerator brand, Japan
CRUDE Fancy and Convenient Kitchen Accessories: kitchen appliance brand, Japan
Assman: audio-equipment brand, Germany

Wednesday, Mar. 21: Funny, We Prefer Burgers and Apple Pie

Reporter: What are your favorite American foods?
Actor Antonio Banderas (newly arrived to America): Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese.

Thursday, Mar. 22: Vital Traffic Reporting

"The southbound lanes go one way, and the northbound lanes go the other." - reporter Lyra Manning, during a road-repair update on WTVF-TV (Nashville, Tennessee) [thanks to Jim Rinehart]

Friday, Mar. 23: Signs Which Are A Bit Too Descriptive

- sign on a men's room door, West Virginia

Saturday, Mar. 24: Impolitic Political Insights

"Politics has no place in government." - Chicago alderman Dorothy J. Tillman, on a local Sunday morning talk show (thanks to David Burnham)

Sunday, Mar. 25: The Problem With Gravy Similes

Billy Bob Thornton: Getting the Oscar nomination is like gravy.
Interviewer: What about winning?
Thornton: Winning would be like whatever is better than gravy.
- actor Billy Bob Thornton, on being nominated for the Best Actor Oscar for his role in Sling Blade

Monday, Mar. 26: Great Moments In Game Shows

Family Feud host Richard Dawson: Name something people walk into accidentally.
Contestant: A movie.

Tuesday, Mar. 27: Fascinating Points

"Had we not got that second goal, the score might well have been different." - soccer manager David Pleat

Wednesday, Mar. 28: Hopeless Customers

Tech support: Thank you for calling. May I have your area code and phone number, please?
Tech support: May I have your area code and phone number, please?
Customer: I just have a question.
Tech support: Okay, how can I help you?
Customer: How do I find out my area code?
- actual call to a computer tech support line

Thursday, Mar. 29: Distracting Threats

"The other threats [come from] brutal and repressive states who, because of their brutality, because they don't actually have the support or consent of their people, are developing weapons that could cause distraction..." - British prime minister Tony Blair

Friday, Mar. 30: Odd T-Shirt Slogans

- slogan on a T-shirt seen on a young woman in Bangkok, Thailand

Saturday, Mar. 31: We're Not Sure, Either

"This taught me a lesson, but I'm not sure what it is." - tennis star John McEnroe

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Death, rare personality, and cake

You'll die Mysteriously...

You are a different sort of person, and your death will be unexplainable.

'How will you die?' at

Some different takes on the subject, from Quiz Heaven:

How will you die?

Died from overdose of a unknown substance.
Take this quiz at

How Do You Die

random undiscovered disease
Take this quiz at

blech, just looking at you is boring me
You led a good life and didn't pick up too many enemies. You kept an eye out, and now you're an old decaying wrinkled human... good job!
Take this quiz at

How Will You Die?

Heart Attack
Take this quiz at

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP)

Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm.

Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men.
You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

You Are an Ice Cream Cake

Surprising, unique, and high maintenance.
You're one of a kind, and you don't want anyone to forget it.
You're fun in small doses, but it's easy for people to overdose on you!

That actually looks really good! But since I can't have any right now, I'll settle for Half-Baked ice cream instead. :P

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Bad Baby Names, Food Cravings, Band Name Game

Talked a bit to Eric H. last night about the cause of my stress, Fay, Resonate, and other such stuff like hanging out. Got up this afternoon feeling better, and made a food shopping appointment for 12:30 tomorrow - MUST REMEMBER! Joined a baby names community on LJ - that reminds me that I should really get into Baby's Named A Bad, Bad Thing again.

Now I'm craving chicken, hot and sour soup, and clam chowder. I'm not sure I feel up to going out, though... it'll have to be other sources for me! Besides, hot and sour soup may not be the best choice right about now, heh. Corey also left me these messages about Taiwanese SLB:

[07:40:44] Corey: SLB isn't bad, but regular dumplings here are pretty similar and better :P also, that stuff is only available for breakfast here :P
[07:46:56] *** "Corey" signed off at Wed Feb 28 07:46:56 2007.
[07:50:03] *** "Corey" signed on at Wed Feb 28 07:50:03 2007.
[08:07:23] Corey: 你好

Band Name Game from Candy via Myspace bulletin:

You have to name a band that starts with the last letter of the previous band listed. Ready? Here we go!


It's simple!

Randall: All Out War
Michaela: Rancid
Josh: Death Cab For Cutie
Rick: Emerson, Lake, and Palmer
Rachel: Ramones
Jillian: Soundgarden
Anissa: Nickelback
Shelli: KC & the Sunshine Band :P
Joni: Duran Duran (Still a huge fan!)
Cassie: Nirvana
Tanya: AC/DC
Terri: Cheap Trick
Jerry: KMFDM
Annamarie: Ministry
Shannon: Yes
Jules: Stone Temple Pilots
Erica: Sex Pistols
Trish: System of a Down
Tina: Nine Inch Nails
Gayle: Slayer
Kellee: Rascal Flatts
Kristy: Sublime
Jackie: Evanescence
Kristy: Everlast
Stacy: Taking Back Sunday
Kyle: Panic at the Disco
Ethan: Oasis
Woody: Slayer
Maria Juana: Radiohead
Robbie: Drop Dead Gorgeous
Hollie: Skindred
Kristyn: Default
Jeremy: Tsunami Bomb
Hailey: Beatles
Jackie: Savage Garden
Candy: N'Sync
Eric: Children of Bodom
Leslie: Martika

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Stress illness, morbid facts, McDonald's Lobster Sandwich

I hate stress illness. Spent a LOT of time in bed today as a result, and got a "hi" message from Eric H. on MSN when I finally got up. Haven't had it since Boxing Day, but I think I know what caused it this time. MY PERSONAL LIFE IS NOT YOUR WEEKLY SERIAL SOAP OPERA, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I think I'll go back to bed now... I've got my stock of Chinese medicine and water!

Today's Matricidal Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

After actress Susan Cabot's final star turn in The Wasp Woman, she left the screen to concentrate on singing and stage acting. In 1964, she gave birth to her son, Timothy, who suffered from dwarfism. In 1968, she married her second husband, actor Michael Roman. But the marriage broke up in the early 1980s, in part due to Cabot's increasing mental fragility and paranoia. (Cabot had been taking a growth hormone prescribed for her son, possibly a factor in heightening her mental illness.) In late 1986, her son, citing years of abuse, beat her to death with a weight bar; Cabot was 59 years old.

Culled from: Brian's Drive-In Theater
Generously submitted by: Elizabeth


Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.


When Grandmamma fell off the boat,
And couldn't swim (and wouldn't float),
Matilda just stood by and smiled.
I almost could have slapped the child.

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Juan

"I'm from Bogota, Colombia, South America. Unfortunately, most 'big' cities have some dire parts, and they become especially dangerous at night.

"It was 8 PM and I had just finished doing some errands downtown, and I was dumb enough to walk to a bus stop alone in such a dangerous part of town... full of prostitutes, junkies, and thieves. When I got to the bus stop, I thought I'd made it to safety, until one junkie approached me and asked me if had some change. His pupils were smaller than a pin's tip, which is usual in crack addicts, so I told him I didn't have any change to give him. He then tried to grab my bag, but I pushed him back. I tried to run, but I felt as if someone had just punched me in the back, just below my right shoulder. I turned around, and I saw the junkie holding a knife. He stabbed me again, this time on my right arm. I fell down, and the junkie took my bag and ran away. I was so scared that I didn't feel any pain, I just felt my right arm and shoulder soaking wet. About 30 seconds later, the police arrived and I told them what had happened. Then an ambulance came and took me to a hospital, where they gave me a tetanus shot and some stitches.

"Even though I had such a dreadful experience, I feel lucky, because I'm well aware that I could've been killed."


Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

People think that I'm a sick, evil, and twisted person.

But I actually have the heart of a little girl...














In a jar...





On my desk.

Thanks to TwistedWhiskers.

McDonald's Lobster Sandwich

I find it hilarious that I am listening to Lords of Acid's The Crablouse while posting a recipe which calls for lobsters! Yes, I know it is not THAT kind of crab / crustacean, but work with me here! :P

Yes, this actually exists. On an excursion through some New England states, I practically drove off the road when I first saw a sign advertising lobster at this fast food chain. I just had to get a closer look. That's when I discovered that this unique sandwich is served only at select McDonald's locations, mostly in Maine, for a limited time only during the summer months. It's basically a lobster salad served on a sub roll with some lettuce, but it's quite tasty with fresh Maine lobster.

Since you can't get this anywhere else, I figured this sandwich was a prime candidate for kitchen cloning. Here's a recipe to make a version of your own that has never before been published.

1/2 cup cooked Maine Lobster (fresh is best)
1/2 tablespoon mayonnaise
pinch salt
1 lettuce leaf
small sub roll

1. Mix together lobster, mayonnaise, and salt.
2. Slice sub roll length wise, and spread the lettuce leaf on the bottom half.
3. Spread lobster over lettuce. Top off sandwich with top half of the roll. Makes 1 sandwich.

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Morbid war facts / McDonald's Hot Mustard Sauce

I am so annoyed! People keep discussing a certain subject, and I definitely wish they wouldn't! Of course I'm nicer to Eric, and what they don't know is that I already thought of certain other things. Nothing tawdry going on here, folks! What would you do if your every little interaction was overanalyzed to death?! Makes me want to stay home! But 24... BOMB! "Where's Tom? Oh, he's in a briefing!" (no, he's been gagged in a closet for the past hour... the same closet which Reid's been in and out of for the past two hours or so!) I liked the part when Chloe freaked out and walks in on Morris in the bathroom, and directed some other guy OUTTA there: "NOT NOW! USE THE BATHROOM LATER! MORRIS, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" "You're just obsessed with the drinking thing, and I definitely CAN do my job! Now please go!" *she leaves, and he pours some alcohol down the sink drain.. good for him!*

Saw Jon at the airport after watching some of a CSI episode about a bear mauling on a hunting expedition which turned into "a human body in a cooler" thing. Parents seemed surprised when he asked about 24 and appeared to know stuff about the episode... you CAN check websites for these things, and he watched a bit of it before he left! No, Mom... I am NOT staying over! I'm not that insane... at least I saw my brother and such before he has to speak at Resonate! He and Dave knew Phil was going to propose in Chicago: glad it went well. Should check Phil's blog more often since that's apparently where my sister learned the news. Ooh, I have an email from Harmony... must answer that, too! Eric H. left me an MSN message - not sure I can do anything on Friday since I'll kinda be busy listening to my brother speak at Resonate. And if Eric M. does ANYTHING crazy, I will kill him. :P

Today's Revolting Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Trenches and rifle pits were not the invention of the 20th century's two world wars. Trench warfare was also used extensively during the American Civil War. At the Spotsylvania, Virginia battlefield, caught in a storm of lead and steel splinters, troops learned to hug the ground, but conditions in rifle pits and trenches soon became all but intolerable, as Chaplain Stewart recalled:

"From where I stood, and in front of a Rebel rifle pit, lay stretched in all positions over fifty of our unburied soldiers, and within the pit and lying across each other, perhaps as many Rebel dead. It seems almost incredible what a change of little less than a week had wrought, by exposure to sun and hot air. The hair and skin had fallen from the head and the flesh from the bones - all alive with disgusting maggots.

"Many of the soldiers stuffed their nostrils with green leaves. Such a scene does seem too revolting to record. Yet, how else can I convey any just conception of what is done and suffered here?"

Culled from: Portraits of the Civil War


Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.


In the drinking-well
Which the plumber built her,
Aunt Eliza fell...
... We must buy a filter.

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes


Morbid Sightseeing!

I've been meaning to mention this for a while:

Great news for those of us in the Windy City - Body Worlds 2 is at the Museum of Science and Industry through April 29, 2007.


Wretched Recommendations!

Dusty has a book recommendation:

Remember Me: A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death by Lisa Takeuchi Cullen

"The author covers a variety of funeral options. Although none of the information is new to us, I think it is worth a read. It's not exactly 'morbid' though, but I still thought I would mention it to you. I enjoyed the way she incorporated blurbs of people's lives into each story. The only part of the book I found to be a bit long was the 'Biodegradable You' chapter. On the other hand, my favorite part of the book was 'The Culture Thing.' I didn't have a lot of prior knowledge about the funeral rites and rituals of the Hmong people, so I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. My favorite quote in the book was: 'It's like an Epcot Center of Death.' I give it 3/5 coffins. :)"

McDonald's Hot Mustard Sauce

I finally got on the case to bring you the definitive kitchen clone for this one - and it's a cinch! Tie one hand behind your back and witness plain old ground dried mustard mixing it up with sweet and sour flavors in a saucepan over medium heat. The cornstarch wrangles around in there to thicken and stabilize while Captain Habanero pops in for the perfect spicy punch. Use it for dipping, use it for spreading, and use it again and again, since you'll make about a cup of the stuff. And McDonald's will be glad that we no longer need to hoard the little blister packs from the restaurants.

1/2 cup water
1/2 cup corn syrup
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon white vinegar
2 tablespoons ground dried mustard
4 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon salt
10-14 drops habanero hot sauce

1. Combine all ingredients in a small uncovered saucepan. Whisk until smooth.
2. Turn heat to medium and bring mixture to a boil, stirring often. Sauce should thicken in 2 to 3 minutes after it begins to boil. Remove sauce from heat and chill in refrigerator in a covered container. Makes 1 cup.

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Monday, February 26, 2007

If you want to sleep on a dirty bed, it's your call... *dubious*

Dinner with Dallas was cool. He says that school isn't as busy for him now as it was before midterms, so that's a relief. Apparently, he's in Richmond temporarily till April-ish, when he moves into UBC residence with the start of summer. He applied last year, but couldn't get in since it was too late. Thank goodness he won't have to move anymore for now after this latest move! Steph was shocked when he told her that people had exams on Saturdays AND Sundays... gee, don't touch the weekend with the taint of exams! We watched the news: it apparently snowed in Coquitlam today, and Dallas thought it was TORONTO on screen since they had a big snowstorm yesterday!

Jon gets back at midnight 9:30 or 10 (my mom always gives me the wrong information!), and it's a good thing because 24 takes precedence over the ugfart! I joked that Mom would have to send Dad to pick him up, but they need two people to go to the airport: that way, nobody has to park the car and pay an extra fee! Grandma would be a bad idea to take... she gets lost and disoriented easily! Oh well, it's all good. He knows of our addiction, and is perfectly fine with it. Once he gets back, his Lenting meat will be a new thing to Mom. "We need to cook ANOTHER dish for him?! He should Lent beer instead!" I don't think he will, although apparently the people at Steph's Saturday dinner were joking that they were all getting old since they wanted tea afterwards. Only one or two people wanted coffee, and nobody wanted a pop since that would be a cold beverage! Hee, Dallas and I also opted for tea after dinner tonight since we both wanted to be able to sleep! (no caffeine, says Mom) Then Steph drove him home, so it's all good.

Steph told me that Phil is now engaged to Grace: that's good news, since I was just thinking that if he went five years with her without anything happening, he'd have done ten years in (mostly long-distance) relationships without anything to show for it. Not that he and Grace have been going out for five years - only about two or so. Megan's still hurt over the way it ended with Phil, according to what I hear of my mom's phone conversation with Auntie Grace. Dave told her about the news, so of course they're discussing Jon / Harmony and Dave / Tiffany. Ah, good times...

My grandma is so weird! Sister asked her what she was doing today: "Oh, we just went to pick your sister up." Um, she and Mom went shopping beforehand AND afterwards too... Then there's this recent exchange:

Me: *goes into Grandma's room, sees Kleenex on bed, goes to sister's room to tell her about it, then returns* There's a Kleenex on the bed, Grandma.
Grandma: I know.
Me: Here, let me take it for you. *picks up Kleenex with intention of dumping it into garbage*
Grandma: *takes Kleenex from my hand* No, it's DIRTY!
Me: *goes into sister's room to tell her about THIS* Okay, fine... it's not MY bed and I'm not sleeping in it...
Steph: Well, if you want a dirty Kleenex on your bed, that's your call... crazy Big G!

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Mom's own brand of confusion!

My mom calls me this afternoon and wants to know if I want to go for afternoon tea before dinner. Having had JUST enough time to check my friends page, I agree. So we go to Tsim Chai with Grandma, who actually paid this time! (last week, my sister was forced to pay when she didn't budge) Then we go to Save-On for some food shopping. Now we're at the townhouse, and it's been an exercise in confusion since then...

1. Mom: "Where are you? Where are you?" (when I'm obviously right here at the computer and she's coming out of the laundry room which isn't very far away)

2. Mom: "Going to bed takes too much time, so I'm just going to lie here on the couch." (all you have to do is go upstairs!)

3. Mom: "Wash the big non-sticky congee pot before Grandma finishes her shower, because she has a big butt." (... sure, sure...)

4. Mom: "You're a very good and bad girl." (thanks for the mixed messages there... o_O)

... odd. My grandma's sister just called. I don't know her, haha.

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McDonald's Breakfast Bagel Sandwiches

I hope that kid doesn't really hate black people! Can't take another dim sum lunch anytime soon, either... and I hope Jon almost doesn't recognize Jeremy either, haha.

McDonald's Breakfast Bagel Sandwiches

Ham & Egg Bagel

2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 teaspoon creamy dill mustard

4 eggs
ground black pepper
1 teaspoon butter
8 ounces deli-sliced ham (2 to 3 slices per sandwich)
4 plain bagels
8 slices Kraft Singles American cheese

1. First, prepare the sauce by combining the mayonnaise with the dill mustard in a small bowl. Set this aside until you are ready to use it.

2. To prepare the eggs, it's best to make one at a time in a small 6-inch skillet. If you have more than one of these small pans, you can save a little time.

3. Beat an egg in a small bowl with a whisk until it is smooth, but not foamy. Add a pinch of salt and pepper to the egg. Heat a small 6-inch skillet over low heat. Add 1/4 teaspoon of butter to the pan. When the butter has melted, add the egg to the pan. Swirl the pan so that the egg spreads evenly. As the egg begins to cook, use a spatula to pull in a couple of the edges so that raw egg flows from the top onto the hot pan. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, then fold over one of the edges of the egg using a spoon or fork. Fold it down about an inch. Fold the opposite end over as well. Then fold the remaining two edges over, creating a small rectangular or square mini-omelet. Flip the little omelet over and turn off the heat.

4. Heat up the ham in a covered dish in the microwave for 1 minute. This will make it hot, and keep it from drying.

5. Slice a bagel in half and place it with the faces up on a baking sheet. Grill the faces of the bagel halves in your oven, set on broil, until golden brown. You may also use a toaster oven for this step, but be sure to place the sliced bagel halves onto a small baking sheet or on aluminum foil.

6. When the bagels are toasted, spread about 1/2 tablespoon of the sauce onto the face of the top bagel half.

7. Place a slice of cheese onto the face of each bagel half.

8. Place the finished omelet onto the cheese on the bottom half of the sandwich.
9. Place the ham onto the egg.
10. Finish by flipping the top half of the sandwich over onto the bottom. Heat for 15 seconds in microwave if needed to warm. Makes 4 servings.

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Sunday, February 25, 2007

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said: February 2007

These stupid quotes are from The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar 2007.

Page-A-Day Calendars

Thursday, Feb. 1: Gee, I Guess You CAN Take It With You


Friday, Feb. 2: All Too Typical Mistaken Identity Problems

Mario Orsini, 73, faces assault charges for shooting and wounding his brother, Donato, 66, after mistaking him for a woodchuck, police said. - from a USA Today story

Saturday, Feb. 3: Lame Excuses

Q: Why didn't Dick Cheney vote in 14 out of 16 elections in Texas?
Cheney spokesman Dirk Vande Beek: He did it whenever he could.

Sunday, Feb. 4: Those All-Too-Frequent Once-In-A-Lifetime Moments

"You only get a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so many times." - Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor, after being chosen to start in an exhibition game (thanks to Rachael Gladys and Daniel Durschlag)

Monday, Feb. 5: Man, This Sounds Tasty!

"Legs of squid stewed in one's own dark juices" - menu item from a restaurant in Alicante, Spain

Tuesday, Feb. 6: Bad Editor's Advice

"You'll never make any money out of children's books, Jo. Keep your real job." - Bloomsbury Books editor to Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling, after purchasing Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (for $1910) in 1996

Wednesday, Feb. 7: Researchers... What Will They Think of Next?

- headline in Future Harvest magazine

Thursday, Feb. 8: Not Quite Right Metaphors

"He's not the sandwich in the picnic." - sportswriter Tony Cascarino

Friday, Feb. 9: And If You Want a Ride on the Ferris Wheel, You Go to the Butcher Shop

Game show host Peter Marshall: What do you like if you're a carnival?
Woman: Um, I go to carnivals.

Saturday, Feb. 10: Okay, We Won't Anymore

Warning on a bottle of hair coloring: DO NOT USE AS AN ICE CREAM TOPPING.

Sunday, Feb. 11: Thanks For The Info

WPLY-FM (Philadelphia) DJ: Where can I buy a big inflatable snowman for my yard?
Caller: You can pretty much find them wherever they sell them.
(thanks to Carol Slowey)

Monday, Feb. 12: Definitional Problems

Tech support staffer: Type http://...
Caller: It didn't work.
Tech support: Okay, read me the address you typed.
Caller: H-T-T-P-C-O-L-O-N...
Tech support: No, no. Colon. On the keyboard.
Caller: What?
Tech support: Do you know what a colon is?
Caller: Of course I do. I am a doctor.

Tuesday, Feb. 13: Statements Like This Are Fairly Uncommon, But Not That Rare

"Abductions like this are fairly rare, but not that uncommon." - Good Morning America host Charlie Gibson (thanks to Lin Malhi)

Wednesday, Feb. 14: Randy Ob-Gyns

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many ob-gyns aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." - President George W. Bush

Thursday, Feb. 15: Families With Huge Appetites

"I'm insulted [by the offer of $10 million per year]. I've got my family to feed." - NBA star Latrell Sprewell (thanks to Richard Oberholzer)

Friday, Feb. 16: Thanks For The Helpful Instructions

1. This meter taxi already anti-meter to time.
2. If the tariff flashing light should be standby.
- printed instructions inside Jakarta taxicabs

Saturday, Feb. 17: Kinda Missing The Point

"We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech!" - Dr. Kathleen Dixon, director of Womens' Studies at Bowling Green State University, Ohio, commenting on the resignation of Dr. Richard Zeller, who wanted to teach a course on how liberation has led to political correctness

Sunday, Feb. 18: Er, Kim...

People magazine: The cell phone plays a role in your latest film. Do you have one with a camera?
Actress Kim Basinger: I hate that thing with the camera because we have been so disturbed by them. Sometimes, like at a Broadway play, people will start taking your picture. I am a mom, so I have a cell phone. It's that simple.
People: Besides the phone, what do you carry with you?
Basinger: A camera.
(thanks to Michael Thomas Perone)

Monday, Feb. 19: Sister, Daughter, Sister, Daughter...

"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor... the president... governor... president. Oops. Ex-governor." - President George W. Bush

Tuesday, Feb. 20: Um... Sure...

"Can you be sure that whatever is being done is being done?" - KFI radio host Bill Handel to Oliver North (thanks to Lin Malhi)

Wednesday, Feb. 21: Not-Too-Polite Choirs

"The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing Break Forth Into Joy." - in a church bulletin

Thursday, Feb. 22: Thanks For That Insight, Billy

"Its mediocrity was celebrated to an art form, but only in retrospect." - actor Billy Zane, on avant-garde cinema

Friday, Feb. 23: That's Usually How It Goes

"So the first thing that you heard was the one that you overheard with Mr. Jones stating that he didn't want any women in his department. And the second time when you were in this exact conversation would have been after the first time?" - recorded in court testimony

Saturday, Feb. 24: Businesses That Apparently Don't Respect Their Employees

NOW HIRING TWO FRENCH DIPS FOR TWO DOLLARS - sign at an Arby's in North Bend, Washington

Sunday, Feb. 25: Making Things Excessively Clear

"We've said it previously and we've said it before." - soccer coach Colin Hendry

Monday, Feb. 26: Straws... More Rewarding Than You Ever Dreamed!


Let's try homeparty fashionably and have a joyful chat with nice fellow.

Fujinami's straw will produce you young party happily and exceedingly.

Flexible straws which we can bend freely are very convenient for us.
- slogans on the box of Fresh flexible straws, Japan

Tuesday, Feb. 27: Oval Office Insights

"Even the President is not omnipotent. Would that he were. He often says life would be a lot easier if it were a dictatorship." - White House budget director Joshua Bolton, on George W. Bush (He added that Bush is actually "glad it's a democracy.")

Wednesday, Feb. 28: Customers Who Need a Lot of Help

Customer service rep for a wireless communication company: Thank you for choosing Arch. How can I help you?
Customer: Hi... uh... yeah... I get my bill from you guys every month on like the 20th, and I normally pay it on like the 30th.
Rep: Uh-huh.
Customer: Well, I was just wondering... uh... when am I supposed to pay my bill this month? There are only 28 days in February.
- actual dialogue (thanks to Kim Hart)

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We're up on Youtube! / Who CARES about your hair?! / Insane Asylum

Didn't talk a lot to people today, but did say hi to Jeremy / Citrus / Danielle / Christon / Jen / Mike T. / Quan. I gave Quan's card and peppermint bark to her, and she said thanks... she looked as tired as I felt! Moved my stuff from the "washroom seat" so Jeremy could sit by me, and asked Christon whether he was done with the tapes of a certain TV show (almost): yes, I want it next... haha. Vanessa wants some tapes too, but Steph will check to see whether what she wants is on the ones Christon currently has. Got a chance to talk briefly to Maxine and see baby Keenan - he wakes up for service even if he sleeps at this time all other days of the week. It's like he just KNOWS, haha. Good for him, but bad for his parents since they can't concentrate on the service because of his older brother Joshua toddling around! (speaking of toddlers, I heard David's son Ian and niece Olivia running down the far aisle today!)

In the back parking lot after service, Emily was playfully hitting her boyfriend Mike with her rolled-up bulletin and inserts. She invited me to try, so I told her that she should use a little more strength and hit him harder. I demonstrated, and Mike described it as "hurtingly bad." No, I didn't WHACK him with it... just enough to make an impression. Jeremy mentioned that the rain was a-coming - I knew, and it was evident after Sunday School for sure. Auntie Tracy thinks little Sean is comfortable with me - I noticed he looked up from his toy helicopter when I came in to help! He babbled a lot and seemed to like playing with people's shoes this week, and was also excited when we batted a 30-Hour Famine yellow ball around the table with boy bowling pins! (NEW GAME FOR THE KIDDIES!)

Since my mom had requested that I leave Sunday School early to get Grandma to Green Village for lunch with Auntie Kwai, I did so. Turns out that they weren't done yet at 12:30 (which I'd counted on) and that she didn't want to leave! (which I did NOT count on) She was being stubborn and cranky, so I went back downstairs to kill a few minutes' worth of time while saying hi to Stanley / Adam / Andrew / John / some other teens. (John: "I got banned from playing MAPLE STORY! Not by the administrators... by my parents!") Went back upstairs when they were done and waited for the crowd to thin out before going in to collect Grandma. She didn't want to go out to meet me because she thought I'd see her... I would eventually, but it's just easier that way! Doesn't she KNOW that?! Then she didn't want to have any rain on her hair, so she covered her hair with the top of her coat. She looked ridiculous and didn't seem to think she'd fall. Nobody is going to look at your hair, and it's not even HEAVY RAIN! Mom even publicly scolded her at the restaurant when she got cranky because her hot water teapot wasn't delivered in two minutes. THE WAIT STAFF ARE BUSY!!! HELLO!!!

Waved to Derek, Darren, Chris (who's third in the hockey pool), Joyce, J-Mak, Joanna, and Cordia. So many church people there, haha... it IS across the street! Steph said that her dinner yesterday went well and that they'd had fun. Dallas had called in the late afternoon to wish my parents a Happy New Year, so he's coming for dinner tomorrow. Heck, I will too - since I'm bad at calling beforehand, I told my mom to just assume I'd be there, haha. Well, nah... I said I'd be there since I usually am so far. Steph wants to borrow my hockey Bathroom Reader, hasn't responded to Harmony's email yet, and says Jon's flight comes in at midnight tomorrow. (technically 12 AM Tuesday - good thing it's not 9:30 PM or he'd have to WAIT!) Nathan has some discipline and won't see him in, haha. Jon had texted my sister (with proper English and no Netspeak - it IS possible with a fairly long text message, you lazy bums! :P) to say that he'd tried calling our parents, but the card didn't go through. Oh well, tomorrow it is? Heh.

After lunch (thank goodness we didn't have any SLB - not in the mood for it!), my sister and I went back to church to use the washrooms. I like how my parents left Big G alone in the car so they could vent about her next to the photocopy room without her knowing, haha. Then I established my glasses problem with my parents on the way home, so that's done. Dad hadn't bought church anniversary lunch tickets for his kids - cheh! He'll get some, I'm sure! 32 years now... Lesley pressured my sister into buying a DVD of the video for $20, haha. We saw some of it during service, and it was so cool to see! (it's up on Youtube under "VCEFC Family," apparently...)

Today's Deaf Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

The reigning Miss Deaf Texas died after being struck by a train. Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, was walking Monday near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train. A witness told Austin television station KTBC that the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred. McAvoy, who had been deaf since birth, won the state title in June and represented the state "with dignity and pride," state pageant director Laura Loeb-Hill told The Associated Press. McAvoy was to represent Texas at the Miss Deaf America pageant this summer. McAvoy graduated last year from the Texas School for the Deaf, attended Austin Community College and then started at Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C., in January, but had returned to Texas.

Culled from: The Associated Press
Generously submitted by: Nathan


Apparently, deaf beauty queens are just as dumb as the hearing ones!


Update Du Jour!

Apparently, I was a bit dyslexic and so was my source when it came to yesterday's MFDJ about the Civil War Battle of Chickamauga. I typoed the year as 1865, when it was actually 1863, and my source lists the first date of the battle as September 19, when it was actually September 18.

So, let's get this straight: the first day of the Battle of Chickamauga was September 18, 1863.

Thanks to Bo for setting the record straight. The archive has been corrected.


Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.


Yesterday my gun exploded
When I thought it wasn't loaded;
Near my wife, I pressed the trigger,
Chipped a fragment off her figure.

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes



Here's an excellent Montage of Terrible Things (Accidents, Executions, etc.) with Type O Negative for the Music.

Thanks to Ken for the link.


Morbid Link Du Jour!

Now here's a fascinating site that makes the Comtesse dizzy with delight! An online archive of the New Orleans City Insane Asylum records from 1882-1888!!!< The descriptions of the inmates are absolutely delightful!!

"Furious Mania... she is turbulent, vulgar, and obscene when irritated, yet very clean about her person."

"Imagines that snakes are after her, with obscene intentions."

"Speaks of two men whom he (is said to have) killed in the parish prison. Considers his deed as the most natural, and finest ever performed by anyone - Says that he killed them by striking them on the back with a piece of wood and 'so nicely was it done [sic] that not a drop of blood was spilled. I only laid them to sleep.'"

"This woman is a Raving Maniac who can give no account of herself. She is naked in her cell."

Oh, Bliss!!!

Thanks to NightRaven for the link.

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Taiwanese shrimp rolls are better than SLB?!

Session Start ( Sat Feb 24 21:55:45 2007
[21:55:48] Corey: (butt)(butt)(butt)(butt)
[21:56:36] Flami: Plates mean nothing!: I just got home... you and your butts :P
[22:27:03] *** "Corey" signed off at Sat Feb 24 22:27:03 2007.
[22:27:10] *** "Corey" signed on at Sat Feb 24 22:27:10 2007.
[22:27:27] Corey: 2-year-old messed up MSN :P
[22:27:54] Corey: I've been to most of Taiwan now.. from the very north to the very south
[22:28:07] Corey: haven't been to Taipei yet though, but I guess we'll do that soon
[22:32:11] Corey: Jane says she'll take me to get your SLB stuff here too
[22:33:36] Corey: but two nights ago, we went to a place that sells "shrimp rolls" and those are quite likely almost the best food on earth, and likely much better than SLB :P
[22:34:23] Corey: they have two restaurants in Tainan, Taiwan where you can get them, and that's it. you can buy them frozen in 7-11s (which are EVERYWHERE here, and without Slurpee machines except in one huge one), but they're not as good
[22:36:39] Flami: you have a 2-year-old?! :O
[22:41:31] Corey: yeah... I didn't tell you? we had a baby
[22:44:30] Flami: crazy
[22:45:06] Corey: it's her niece, ya dork
[22:47:31] Flami: I am not a dork :P
[22:49:37] Corey: well, you can talk to Jane for a bit... she wants to tell you how much cooler I am than you since I get to have all the things you like in Asia myself! so I'm better
[22:54:38] Flami: yeah, I'm so sure about that...
[22:58:33] Corey: okay, she's not talking to you, I guess
[22:58:37] Corey: we need to leave :P
[22:58:52] Corey: email me your address in case I find postcards here
[22:59:19] Corey: unless you want me to wait until I get home to send it :P
[23:00:01] Corey: fir fdgfhj ?
[23:00:12] Corey: (that was the niece talking) :P
[23:03:41] Corey: anyway, I need to go
[23:03:44] Corey: movie time
[23:03:47] Corey: (no popcorn)
[23:03:56] *** "Corey" signed off at Sat Feb 24 23:03:56 2007.
Session Close (Corey): Sat Feb 24 23:05:53 2007

Then I got up to a message from him: "Mos Burger is good." If you say so! Now I'd better email him before I forget in the church rush, hehe.

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War, evil dictators, movie death scenes, McDonald's Breakfast Burrito

Today's Prostrate Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

During the first day of the U.S. Civil War Battle of Chickamauga (September 18, 1863), Union soldier Arthur van Lisle fell wounded on the battlefield. He later described his ordeal:

"I fall. I try to rise, but cannot... My thigh is torn, the bone is shattered, although I did not feel the shot that struck me. Here I lie among the dead and wounded. Our men have fallen back. Over our prostrate forms, the bullets are hissing and shells shrieking. In the endeavor to ease my cramped position, my wounded limb becomes twisted and, oh, the agony of pain which I now feel for the first time! What horror surrounds me! Here I am, helpless and bleeding, my flesh lacerated, my thigh bone broken; the dead so ghastly, the dying and the wounded all about me; my regiment falling back, the enemy advancing. What will become of me?"

Culled from: Portraits of the Civil War


Arthur survived his ordeal, though I would imagine his leg did not... though it doesn't actually say this in the excerpt.


The Comtesse Reviews...

Portraits of the Civil War In Photographs, Diaries, and Letters by Charles Phillips and Alan Axelrod

I just finished reading this coffee table book, which provides a decent overview of most of the major Civil War battles, but is very short on detail. Probably unrealistically, I expected that there would be a great many more stories to go along with the vintage photographs. But in many cases, the diary or letter excerpts are completely unrelated to the photographs. And there really aren't that many photographs, anyway - far fewer than I expected. I would imagine there are other books out there on the Civil War that are much more comprehensive than this one. But if you can pick it up at Barnes & Noble in the bargain bin (as I did), it's not a bad buy.


Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.


Making toast at fireside,
Nurse fell in the grate and died;
And, what makes it ten times worse,
All the toast was burned *with* nurse.

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes


Wretched Recommendations!

Karen has a book recommendation for us:

The Most Evil Dictators In History by Shelley Klein

"Here's a great book for you -- The Most Evil Dictators in History. I happened to pick it up at Barnes and Noble -- on their BARGAIN table. Really, more people need to have this on their coffee tables. Imagine the looks on the faces of your guests as they sort through your lovely books on Tuscany, and fine art and then... there it is... Hitler's eyes staring at you, Stalin's sneer taking you in.... Really, it's a must-have for all fans of evil people and their sickening deeds. (I keep mine in my night table by my bed. You never know when I'll need a little anecdote from Saddam Hussein to help lull me into Lala Land)."


Morbid Link Du Jour!

The Movie Death Database catalogues your favorite scenes from every film - the death scenes!

Thanks to Elizabeth for the link.

McDonald's Breakfast Burrito

It was in the late seventies, shortly after McDonald's had introduced the Egg McMuffin, that the food giant realized the potential of a quick, drive-thru breakfast. Soon, the company had developed several breakfast selections, including the Big Breakfast with eggs, hash browns, and sausage. Eventually one out of every four breakfasts eaten on the go would be served at McDonald's - an impressive statistic indeed. The newest kid on the McBreakfast block is this morning meal in a tortilla, first offered on the menu in 1991.

4 ounces breakfast sausage
1 tablespoon minced white onion
1/2 tablespoon minced mild green chilies (canned)
4 eggs, beaten
4 8-inch flour tortillas
4 slices American cheese

On the side

1. Preheat a skillet over medium heat. Crumble the sausage into the pan, then add the onion. Sauté the sausage and onion for 3 to 4 minutes, or until the sausage is browned.
2. Add the mild green chilies, and continue to sauté for 1 minute.
3. Pour the beaten eggs into the pan, and scramble the eggs with the sausage and vegetables. Add a dash of salt and pepper.
4. Heat up the tortillas by steaming them in the microwave in moist paper towels or a tortilla steamer for 20 to 30 seconds.
5. Break each slice of cheese in half and position two halves end-to-end in the middle of each tortilla.
6. To make the burrito, spoon 1/4 of the egg filling onto the cheese in a tortilla. Fold one side of the tortilla over the filling, then fold up about two inches of one end. Fold over the other side of the tortilla to complete the burrito (one end should remain open). Serve hot with salsa on the side, if desired. Makes 4 burritos.

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