Jack finally gets to where Renee was, and starts screaming at Bubba over the phone. Luckily, the Russians can't hear him, so I guess we can add the ability to speak loudly and stay clandestine to Jack's laundry list of superpowers. Jack still wants to pull her out and promises to make Vladimir talk, but Bubba says they don't do that anymore. I thought that was exactly what CTU did. Meanwhile, Dana is suddenly back at CTU. She must have used the same wormhole that Jack used earlier to get to Queens from Manhattan in 5 minutes.
Bubba tells her to do something, but she immediately disregards it, and starts to look for a way to help her sleazy ex-boyfriend. She tells Kevin about a $120,000 drug stash at the NYPD warehouse, and that seems to make him happy. She tells Kevin she'll walk him through the security, because let's face it, her ass is more important than these nuclear weapons. Also, Arlo is still trying to get in her pants, and I have to say that Kevin is looking better and better.
The Russians take Renee back to their warehouse (apparently, they also used the wormhole). Renee tells Vladimir about her buyer, who wants weapons grade uranium. Vlad plays dumb, but Renee tells him it's no use. She's already seen the ad on Craigslist. Vlad is clearly still hung up on her, though, and gets jealous when she says that she's been with Jack for 2 years. She maintains that it's strictly professional, but we all know better.
Sark and his dying brother are with the doctor, and Sark is playing armchair doctor. The doctor tells Sark that his brother needs major surgery and a bone marrow transplant, but Sark doesn't accept that. Sark then gets a call from his dad, who's upset that Sark ignored the last two calls. So, he uses the tunnel excuse, and that he's stuck in traffic. Good to see that some things are universal, even excuses. I wonder if his dog also ate his homework. Sark threatens the doctor with a gun, and so the doctor has to make excuses to his nurse. The doctor tells him that the surgery will require six men, and even then, it's a little doubtful that he'll live.
Here's Cole, and he wants to do things his way. Plus, he's serious, as we can tell from the constipated look on his face. Vlad starts coming onto to Renee and sweet-talks her, as you can almost feel Jack's blood starting to boil. Renee tries to buy time and asks to take a shower, to which Vlad happily agrees. I'm thinking Vlad's got a camera in there or something. Vlad is going to doublecross Jack, and tells his henchman to kill him once he gets the money. Vlad thinks Renee will be cool with that, and this guy is seriously high on himself.
President Taylor is still upset about Hassan's crackdown, which he apparently ordered off camera in the last episode. Maybe he did it during the 5 minutes it took him to get from CTU to the UN. Meanwhile, Hassan gets a file and wants someone arrested who is connected to that general from the previous episode. I'll be honest. I really don't give a crap about this. I mean, it's obvious that this general is the one behind the plot to kill Hassan and procure nuclear weapons. Which, of course, means that he is not.
Dana creates an NYPD card, and Arlo gives her lip. Arlo then goes to Chloe and asks why Dana is being all weird because, let's face it, she should be putty in Arlo's hands. Chloe puts him in his place, basically calling Arlo a sleazebag who clearly wants to get into Dana's pants. Chloe then makes a great crack about how Arlo was going to stare at her ass as she walks away, and sure enough, he does. Good to see that the show's habit of making computer analysts look like horny, awkward dorks while making the field agents cool, good-looking alpha males is in place. Exhibit A: Edgar Stiles.
Dana gives Kevin his instructions, and makes him promise not to bother her again. Yeah, I'm sure that will take. We then find out that Arlo's been spying on her, and that's hardly a surprise. That's what computer geeks are good for, right? And the moment we've been waiting for: Renee gets out of the shower, and she's in her birthday suit. Of course, Vlad is waiting for her, and he tries to use his charms on her. Renee won't do it, and Vlad threatens to call off the deal. Vlad goes over and starts moving in on her, and Renee's look of sadness and disgust is heartbreaking. Jack tries to tell Renee not to do it, but Renee tells him it must be done. She takes the earpiece out and washes it down the sink so that Jack won't be able to listen in on what's about to happen. Now I'm sad...
Hassan's assistant corners the Kamistan UN ambassador and takes him into custody. His assistant then calls the President's daughter, and it looks like they're up to something. Probably sleeping together. The doctor warns Sark that radiation poisoning is transferable by bodily fluids, and looks at Sark questioningly. What? He thinks Sark is going to have sex with his brother or something? Not even Sark is that weird. At least we hope not. Anyway, of course, Sark's father has tracked them down and his men come in and kill the doctor. They take them both away, and there goes the poor guy's chance at getting healthy. I guess his dad didn't want to pay for the hospital bill. Man, health care costs are really out of control in this country.
Jack's got his glasses on, and he's arrived at the buy. Jack speaks German, and Vlad's henchman points out that he seems to speak with an American accent. Just like Tom Cruise in Valkyrie
. They proceed to insult each other in German before converting to English. I guess they're both still pissed off about World War II. Anyway, Jack demands to speak with Vlad, and he's in bed with Renee. I'd make a crack about how Vlad didn't last too long, but I'm too heartbroken.
Renee uses her charms to convince Vlad not to go through with the double-cross. Vlad won't do it, though, and Renee tries to call Jack to warn him. Vlad then throws her down and chokes her, telling her not to go against him. Man, this show is really turning up the violence against women this season, aren't they? Jack transfers the money, and before the Russians can kill him, Cole takes them out with a sniper's rifle. Jack then calls Vlad and insults him, calling him small time. Renee can certainly agree with that.
Sark and his brother are back with dear old dad. He's upset, and beats down Sark for disobeying him. He says to never endanger the family, which is ironic considering that he's willing to let his one son die of radiation poisoning, and is beating the crap out of his other son. He's really upset about Sark choosing a doctor out of his network, and decides to do something about it. So, he shoots his already-dying son dead, and then tells Sark to get back to work. Well, that's one way to cut the Gordian knot.
Labels: 24, brian, cards, computer, craigslist, crap, death, drugs, family, jack bauer, kevin, laundry, maxed-out tags limit, money, movies, phone calls, sex, sick, war, weird stuff