How can you be racist already at seven years old?!

When Michelle picked me up, her kids Ryan and Ethan said hi and promptly informed me that they were discussing STAR WARS. Ryan claimed to have seen the old version of that movie when his mom was a very little girl... haha, we didn't think so! Then he started spelling every word of his sentences out - good way to teach the kids how to spell correctly! He wanted to be a black guy and his brother to be a white guy, then they could be purple and yellow. It took a couple of minutes for me and Michelle to understand that they were talking about the lightsabre colors, and not skin color.

Later, he started singing Christmas carols: he's either really early or really late! I don't like out-of-season Christmas songs, but knew that little kids will fixate on something for a few minutes and then move on to something else. (yay for short attention spans!) Then he said hip-hop was bad because someone on TV said so... but proceeded to do "I like to move it, move it!" for a few minutes. Mike and Joey have taught a few of the kids some "Rockaway, move the muscle!" pop music thing, so Ryan did that for a few minutes too... interesting car ride! (at least David said hi to me when we picked him up... the kids have something in common because they're all fatherless)

During Awana, Ian and Ryan were laughing really hard at Mike's changing facial expressions when he moved his hand up and down in front of his face. I asked Mike what he was teaching the kids, and he said that everything was a barrel of laughs to Ian... he told me to watch his making a sad face. Ian laughed, with what Mike later described to Benedict as "a very scary zombie laugh." Amos heard one of the kids say that he hated black people, and asked if I'd heard it: nope. He repeated it, and added: "Racist already..." I know! *sigh*

At craft time, I was able to talk to Ian (who is my fave kid now, haha) about fans and his "funny big name." Huge capital I, haha. Asked if his brother would like the fan, and he said that Sean hadn't seen them before! Smart kid, since he's not going to give either the foot fan or the pig fan to his brother! Sean would probably destroy them! Not that he's destructive from what I've seen, but I guess he wouldn't know how to deal with that. Ian also fanned a marker since he felt like it, and gave his pig interesting colors. Good times! Mike wondered why they were called blackboards since they're now all green: not sure. Julie told me that she was going to Tokyo and other places for three weeks with her mom and grandma: she'll visit her dad in Hong Kong, too!

The Awana dinner was fun, too... "team time" in new small groups, pasta, cheesecake, chicken, potatoes, almond fruit salad, and lots more food. Margaret was limping, and decided that she wasn't sitting down anymore since it hurt and gave her lots of pain. She got offended when Tina saw her "MK" clasp and asked "Mike?!" (her brother) People still think she looks like Michael... not so much now! I told Chrystal about the peppermint bark that I bought: she LOVES that stuff, so maybe I will buy her some for her next birthday in April, hehe. Melia, Winnie, Lanie, Alysia, Sabrina, Emily, and Chrystal are in my small group - of course it'll take time for us to feel comfy with one another, but it'll come! (obviously the three cousins know each other best) Said hi to Anita and Jeff, too.

I accidentally called Jason by his brother's name, possibly because he was writing "Amosie" on the whiteboard with a permanent marker) Auntie Vivian let me borrow some Awana resources, including a shiny new Awana store merchandise book! There were some interesting magazines outside the church library, including a CHRISTIANITY TODAY issue on sex standards... no, I am not a pervert! I went upstairs to find Eric viewing stuff on his laptop while Benedict and Danny looked on. Asked if they'd seen Henry, only to get the answer "He left... ask Rebecca since she might be downstairs in the kitchen!" So I went downstairs to do just that, only to see her on the way up the stairs. Explained to her what had happened - she called Henry, who came back from seven minutes away since he forgot. It was a pretty silent car ride home (although he did apologize!) except for Praise 106.5 which played a bunch of familiar songs. While dropping me off, he apologized again (I acknowledged it once more) when I made a special point of thanking him for the ride... I usually do, but this was more special, haha. Next week it is!

I willingly soaked up the extra expense, and then forgot to give you stuff for Valentine's Day!

Woke up earlier than I thought I would today, but it's all good. Henry had called me, so I decided to see what he wanted: he was just reminding me that he couldn't pick me up today. I said that I had it under control, and that I'd see him at the church later; YAY, AWANA DINNER! Then I called Michelle, who sounded like she was at lunch if the very noisy background was any indication! She remembered, and said she'd pick me up around 3:15... yay for things working out!

Since certain people are always bugging me to check blogs, I'll do that now before posting some quizzes, haha. Dawn has a new job - must ask her about that when I see her next. Both she and Vivian stole my three-word survey, haha. Vivian has this hilarious Pearls Before Swine CNY image up, featuring the pig being chased by the mouse with a dragon mask on. She's also stressed out because of her practicum and lesson plans... forgot to give her students some chocolate that she purposely bought the night before Valentine's (incurring much extra expense), and the Spinster's Night was fun. "Who needs a man?! Hey Mike, how do we turn on the speakers again?"

Spoz has witnessed someone's elopement on Valentine's Day, and has his art up in Adelaide: oh my! Steph drove manual on Sunday, stalling twice: she was telling Eric about it yesterday, I recall. Let's just say that the other blog I checked DID have certain posts in it, haha. Sincerity, being a good spy (do we have a double life, Randal? - not that I expect him to answer that!), stuff about Chinese New Year, stories, plot twists, and headaches. Haha, the "relationship dialogue" reminds me of a romantic card I've seen in the stores! (but they do say certain activities are GOOD for headaches - go figure!)

I keep meaning to post all the stupidity in my newest page-a-day calendar in a monthly entry. Maybe when this crazy weekend is over... Sunday will be the start of the monthly stupidity entries, haha. We'll see what's going on first, though!

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Travel Horoscope for Virgo

When you travel, you need to keep active and on the go. You want a vacation where you can keep moving and keep things exciting. You should travel to: Paris Tokyo NYC Sydney London

What's Your Travel Horoscope?

You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and your opinions are probably well informed. Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

Are You a Dumb American?

Well, I'm not American! Take that, you US-centric quiz! :P

"I wonder who would be the buttocks of the church?"

I blamed my lateness on lineups, and Eric's first thought was that there were people stampeding to use my washroom... hahaha, no. My sister later said the same thing, and joked that Amacon was REALLY bad as a management company! In the car, Eric and I listened to the Team 1040 broadcasters go on about the recent elections to the Football Hall of Fame. Once he got tired of that, he asked me whether any cool craziness had gone on this week: nope! He pretended to fall asleep, and I told him to stop that! At least my lateness saved us from any traffic volume, haha... we even got the last spot in the parking lot, the one blocked by the pole! I saw Christon, Anthony, Joey, and some others upstairs at church. We went downstairs, and noticed that Jeremy had shaved his beard off! When asked about it, he said that he'd done it today so that he could see what happened to his face in 2.5 years, and whether it was pasty white. He certainly looks different! There was this time that he had dreadlocks, another time where he had a bald head and a HUGE beard, and some other combination! Haha, good times without work to worry about! Says his face feels very cold, which he expected... but it's really cold out now, which just makes things worse!

Saw Andrea's boyfriend Chuck from Toronto (who Dylan said he didn't recognize... "ex" factor?): he's interning for Winnie in the VERY short term (till next Saturday), which is cool. Turned out that Randal (and later Kevin) had to join our Bible Study group since the rest of theirs weren't here. When Dylan asked us how our weeks had been, Chuck had an interesting story about how he had to remove some old lady's earwax: that set us all to talking about our own personal earwax removal experiences, whether with the jet of water pressure or not. It was hilarious how weirded out Dylan was, haha. Bible Study took a LONG TIME because someone who shall remain nameless likes being long-winded, possibly because he's in love with the sound of his own voice. It was absolutely GREAT when Jeremy kept talking over his attempts to interject his own opinion because White Man wanted to make sure his point got across... I loved that, and was silently cheering him on!

I shared Jeremy's Bible and book with him since of course I didn't have time to grab my own when rushing out of the apartment earlier... he remarked that the Bible print WAS kinda small, but I could deal with it. He should see this large-print Bible I have, haha... I don't think they make compact large-print Bibles, unfortunately. I'd be SO in the market for one of those! Dylan was going to photocopy some notes for the group, but Jen told him to save paper because we could share: a good thing! We were talking about the different parts of the church body, and Randal came up with this comment: "I wonder who would be the buttocks of the church?" OMG... HAHAHAHAHA! I told Jen (who didn't have to work today, it turned out... that's why she didn't need a ride!) that it was SO going on my blog later, and she said that it should be on the David Fellowship website OR that we were that part... I couldn't hear. But whatever she said, it's now on here at least! :D

Eric later kicked me under the table since I was doing certain things... I know, I know. Later, I thought he was trying to tell me something as he passed me by on his way to the washroom. He wasn't, because that was his knapsack... but he did think that I'd think that. I raised my eyebrows when I saw him chewing some Trident gum, and he told me it was sugarless on the way home. Bible Study ended at 10:30 - no way was I calling Michelle that late since she has two kids and such! After I'd finished talking to Chuck about Jon and Harmony (he thinks it's cute that they met at church - I should tell him the "one block" story on Sunday), Randal came up to me and started a conversation about the 35-steamer SLB night. No, we didn't have a set number of dumplings to eat... and he's figured out that these are the sort he actually LIKES, since they're not the Chinese bakery buns! Christon passed by on the other side and knocked over a chair: Randal joked that he was trying to rearrange the chairs... perhaps! Says a certain TV show is a ritual with him now: beer and popcorn it is! (plus pork rinds when he feels like being a redneck, har har - I am joking!)

Later, I handed Lesley her birthday card as she was talking to Andrea about Youtube and such: she said I was so sweet, heh. Jeremy was talking to Christon about shaving and such, and I wondered what was going on. Christon told me, and Jeremy asked whether my grandma would come up with a new nickname for him once she realizes he's the same person as "Bearded Man." (he explained her nickname to Christon before he walked off somewhere) Hmm, I don't know! Could be something to see about... and I can imagine how it'll go! "Grandma, this IS Bearded Man... say hi so she'll recognize your voice, Jeremy!" "Hi..." "He looks familiar, but where's his beard?" "Quick! Anyone know the Chinese word for "shaved"? He shaved it off..." "Hmph." Hahaha. Then Eric told him about the UGLY mustaches on certain hockey players - I was indeed there at Eric's for the Florida pay-per-view game where the camera kept subjecting us to closeup views of Olli Jokinen and Ville Peltonen! (Jeremy thinks you'd have an awesome mustache if you can see it from behind... all curling up on the side!)

Andrea, Chuck, Connie, and I discussed earwax removal and the pressure water jet: that was an awesome invention! Connie and I could never imagine what Andrea and Sherman grew up with: their mom has this small pick thing which she uses to break up the thing of wax! Things are slower at Connie's job, which is good and makes her feel like a normal worker: it was apparently very hectic before! Jeremy, Chung, Eric, Randal, and I discussed RSVPs and Chung's wedding. Hey, he spelled Randal's name right on HIS card (most people think it's 2 L's - I know I did!)... thank goodness mine was spelled right, since his mom always spells it "Lesley." Yes, I am fully aware that Chung is not his mother, thanks. :P

Eric and I went upstairs after people had stacked the chairs on the tables and wondered why we hadn't been kicked out yet by the cleaners. (it was 10:45 or later by then!) We found Danielle, Vanessa, Nathan, Christon, Steph, and Cindy laughing their heads off over something which was apparently very hilarious! Eric and I just looked at each other and said that we didn't get it. Somehow, "grilled cheese sandwiches" was innuendo, and there was some other deeper innuendo going on... Steph said that she'd explain it in the car, so Eric wanted to leave pretty much right away! Turns out that someone had brought up the idea of Daniel Fellowship clothing like hoodies and such; since Steph doesn't wear hoodies, she wanted Fellowship track trousers. Nathan or someone else brought up Fellowship underwear and brassieres. ("we can have D on one side, and F on the other!") Then Cindy - of all the people! - said that the "DF" might get confused for "Dairy Farms"... she normally wouldn't even SAY such a thing, so that's why they all found it hilarious! Eric then commented that it COULD be "Dairy Farms," but that it wouldn't be the kind of message the Fellowship would want to send out! (but DF could also work for David Fellowship!)

We talked about fighting (as if I'd do that!), Grandma busing home from the haircut place (good!), Steph sleeping over at Vivian's (no car means she had to be inventive), blogs (I really need to change the day I check those), MSN conversations, teasing, hints, certain people, Steph's new jerseys, the ugfart getting back soon, hockey pools and the trade deadline, Buffalo-Ottawa games and BRAWLS, etc. There was a gas station selling the stuff for 99.9¢ and one across the street selling it for 105.9! Man, that is NOT competitive! I showed Steph the peppermint bark when I asked whether she'd seen Quan tonight... she hadn't seen her, Cordia, OR Joyce! Very odd, haha. Then she thought the yummy stuff was for her - you wish! Maybe I'll bring some over on Monday, although I can just imagine they'll tell Mom certain "pertinent" information: STOP IT! Oh well, at least I can probably have a ride home if I ask!

New Zealand baby farmers, rhyme, epitaphs, exploration / McDonald's Biscuits

Today's Sorry Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

In the history of crime in New Zealand, there could hardly be a sorrier dossier than that of the infamous Minnie Dean, who was tried and sentenced to death in June 1895 for the murder of an infant child. In legal history, she has been known (with approximate accuracy) as the Winton Baby Farmer. Under the guise of benevolent motive she received unwanted children and apparently destroyed them, the generally illegitimate character of her victims no doubt contributing materially to the temporary success of her grisly operations. Minnie Dean was tried for only one murder, but the mass of evidence adduced against her at her trial, and the discovery in her garden at "The Larches," Winton, of two bodies and the skeleton of a third, pointed strongly to a systematic programme of child murder. One curious aspect of her crime was that her husband, Charles Dean, who lived with her, was ignorant of it. At first, his name was coupled with hers in the charge... but before the preliminary hearing had progressed very far, he was discharged "without a stain on his character." For a premium, never very large, Minnie Dean adopted unwanted infants, but the payment of the fee invariably marked the disappearance of the child into the care of a "lady" whose name or abode was never disclosed. After hearing 40 witnesses, the jury took exactly half an hour to return a verdict of guilty, and Mr. Justice Williams, with equal dispatch, passed sentence of death on the first and only woman to be hanged in New Zealand. Hangings in those days still bore a high day and holiday flavour, and the final office of Minnie Dean's shameful end was described in the local press to the tune of a column and a half.

Culled from: The Encyclopedia of New Zealand
Generously submitted by: Eric

**********************************************************************

Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.

MR. JONES

"There's been an accident!" they said,
"Your servant's cut in half; he's dead!"
"Indeed!" said Mr. Jones, "and please
Send me the half that's got my keys."

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes

*******

Urban Exploration!

Nina forwards me a friend's site of urban exploration photography. The photos of Byberry Asylum in Philadelphia are especially nice! I just wish they were larger...

*******

Epitaph Du Jour!

Culled from: Over Their Dead Bodies: Yankee Epitaphs & History
Authors: Thomas C. Mann & Janet Greene
Date: 1962

William Kittredge, 1789, age 91, Tewksbury, Mass.:
He's gone at length, how many grieve
Whom he did generously relieve
But o how shocking he expire
Amidst the flames of raging fire!
Yet all who sleep in Christ are bless'd
Whatever way they are undress'd.

Thanks to Miyuki for the contribution.


McDonald's Biscuits

These are the biscuits served at America's most popular stop for breakfast, partners - they're simple to make, and gosh darn tasty. Get yourself some Bisquick and buttermilk, and crank up the oven for a clone that's become one very frequent request.

2 cups Bisquick baking mix
2/3 cups buttermilk
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons margarine, melted and divided

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
2. Combine the baking mix, buttermilk, sugar, salt, and half of the melted margarine in a medium bowl. Mix until well blended.
3. Turn dough out onto a floured surface and knead for about 30 seconds, or until dough becomes elastic.
4. Roll dough to about 3/4-inch thick, and punch out biscuits using a 3-inch cutter. Arrange the punched-out dough on an ungreased baking sheet, and bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until the biscuits are golden on top and have doubled in height.

5. Remove the biscuits from the oven and immediately brush each one with a light coating of the remaining melted margarine. Serve warm. Makes 8 biscuits.

Addictive peppermint bark / Stupid buses and lineups causing me to be late!

Note: Entry timestamp is wrong because if I actually tried blogging at that time, I suspect Eric would have KILLED ME! I just have too much to say for one post, and generally like splitting up different happenings into their own separate posts. It's easier that way. ;)

Hey, Steph and I got an email from Harmony thanking us for the early birthday card and bookmark... sweet! I don't know when Jon gave those items to her, but at least they are now in her possession. She asked us how we were... nothing really exciting here - I should work on that, but not necessarily in the way certain people think! "I should be in Vancouver for a few days in May, so I'll be looking forward to seeing both of you then. :) Oh, and if you hear your brother talking about ingesting any kind of durian-mouthwash combination, please do give him a few good punches on my behalf. Much appreciated!" Durian and mouthwash?! EWWWWWW.

I went to the mall for a while earlier, and should have known that the trip wouldn't have ended in a timely fashion when I just missed the bus. Went to Shoppers to get some chocolate for Quan and myself, but saw peppermint bark instead: 340g on sale for $6.99 is better than 165g or 245g on sale for the same price, at least to my Asian mindset. Noticed that the Lindt chocolate boxes seem to be on permanent sale till the end of this year - I had to read the price tags a few times to make sure I wasn't reading them wrong or something! The cashier said that the peppermint bark (from the Christmas holidays) was ADDICTIVE... yay for someone using that word correctly!

Also picked up a get-well card for Charlie there, went to Tazza for some strawberry bubble tea, and went to the bookstore to see if they had a certain Bathroom Reader. They didn't, but they did have The Giant Book of True Crime (Colin Wilson) for $5.99! Then I wrote the get-well card, and decided to mail Sarah's and Corey's cards at the same time I mailed Charlie's. I do know that Sarah's birthday is Mar. 22, her wedding is Apr.14, and Corey's birthday is March 19... but might as well get things done all at the same time and EARLY!

Went to Iris (the glasses place) to see what was going on with my glasses earpiece since it's peeling... Mom thinks it's because of sweat, but then it would have happened with ALL my previous pairs, AND it's only on one side! I guess a case COULD be made for my having a sweat problem on only one side of my head, but that would seriously be stretching it... I have more sense than my mom sometimes, haha. The person there said that glasses are temperamental: I could have set it down a little too hard without realizing it, something might have bumped that side, or something else could have happened. So now I get to go back to the cheap glasses place at least twice to see if they can order me a new one! Cheap, but not the most convenient option: eh, namooch I can do!

After that, I encountered a long lineup at the post office. Some lady had a few packages, and another one bought like 800 stamps in SHEETS of a hundred! She also seemed to be wondering whether she should purchase more, so added to her total. I was thinking to myself that she should just HURRY UP, as happens when you're in a hurry. When I finally got out of there, it turned out that I had just missed the bus to go home as well. UGH, two missed buses in the span of an hour and a half or so! I was making good time until the post office... ick. I got home at 7:05 and thought I had enough time to shower / do a double cleansing (don't ask if you don't know what that is :P) without Eric not knowing any better - yes, I needed the quick shower and couldn't postpone it. *sigh* So then I heard knocking of some sort when I was finishing up... oh man. Luckily, it was Eric at the door and then at the window, and not some weird pervert stalker! Next time, I guess I should call him... whoops, sorry! Being rushed is so NOT a good thing... stupid buses and lineups!

Dream: Eliminating evil lurking within the church

I had a weird dream, set at my church with mainly Sunday School kids and my own friends. It started out with a new Sunday School term: I'd be helping Vivian with the kids in her Grade 2 class, mainly controlling the children if they got out of hand. They weren't of the generation that were instantly scared of my dad whenever they heard his name, but they knew I could be quite scary when needed! The classroom had two sets of kids in it, and the other class belonged to Vivian's Aunt Pat. Some of the kids in my former toddler class were taller than they should have been for six-year-olds when I saw them after Sunday School, and Wilson even was taller than his father by an inch or two! (who was Gabriel's dad Uncle Eugene in the dream... weird!) Little Ian and Sean (brothers) responded to me with a lot of enthusiasm and normally - this was a big deal for Sean, who didn't seem autistic in the dream at all. Auntie Fonda greeted me with a smile, and asked how I liked her new blue wool hat: very nice!

There was a meeting after church, and I stayed to help with the kids there while my friends went off to play laser tag. Sam's parents (Uncle Joel and Auntie Cissy) wanted me to paint the Awana Circle, but I couldn't do that because the Care Committee meeting was taking place in the basement ON the aforementioned circle! I contented myself with talking to Sam and his brother Jeremy (who also had to stay behind) while looking after the kids. At the end of the meeting, we commented on the lunch food that people had provided for us: "Nice food from the CARE committee... noodles and rice and not much else! They should have made other things too, since it's not like the church doesn't have the budget money for that! Food IS important, y'know!" The kids formed an impromptu choir and started singing all kinds of songs... we made sure that their content was G-rated, of course!

Later, my friends came back to my parents' big blue van parked outside the church. I went outside to meet them, and saw Michelle L. - I remembered that I had to call her for a ride in the next few hours! (real life intrudes again...) Eric, Jon, Nathan, Vania, Steph, and the others complained that they'd lost 30 minutes ago and had to clean the floors of the lazer tag place. We then deliberated on what to do later: Go to Nathan's? Go to a restaurant for dinner? Play with our money? Then Steph remembered that - speaking of money - Eric had said that we all owed him money on a receipt he had. I thought I couldn't find my wallet until I looked in my blue Morning Star bag, then asked for the receipt so I could calculate how much money I had to pay. Steph told me that I only had to pay around three dollars, but I still wanted the receipt for proof, and to make sure I didn't underpay.

Then my dad got mad at me for "delaying everyone" and started screaming at me. At first, I wondered about the real-life repercussions if I cursed / screamed right back at him... then I remembered that this was a DREAM and there were no consequences. So I screamed and cursed right back at him for not understanding: "You F****** A******!" etc., etc. Nobody else in the van did anything, since perhaps they recognized that it was a battle of wills and they were on my side. He threatened me with "I'll take you and your friends to where you want to go... but you'd better call me on Monday, and you'd better be CRYING!!!" I responded that I didn't cry when I called dictators, and he got so mad that he spewed out dragon's breath: FIRE!

My friends then wondered what I was going to do since my dad had turned into a chimera, so I countered that with some icy silver refreshing breath that neutralized his fire attack. After it was all over, my dad lay weakened in the front seat of the van. We didn't want to risk his healing, so we killed him with various miscellaneous attacks. Then we went back to church, where Auntie Tracy and Vania were taking digicam photos for Uncle Edwin: they took photos of themselves, the closets, and even a messy toddler room with red benches and toys strewn all over the place. We objected to the last one since it shouldn't go into an anniversary scrapbook, but they seemed to think it was fine. Meh, whatever... the dream ended when we got Uncle Patrick to clean out the messy van. Far from remonstrating with us, the church elders and officials praised us for eliminating a trusted source who ultimately turned out to be evil. :D


No, I haven't been playing RPGs or anything similar lately. I do have to call Michelle tonight to remind her about picking me up tomorrow for Awana, though! Haven't been thinking about the toddler class or that blue bag which I brought to the townhouse this week when I had to stay over, either. Although I have been casually thinking about what happens when little Sean - who IS autistic in real life - has to move up from the toddler class! Will I go with him, or will he do things on his own or run around? Mind you, I've only been thinking about it because Auntie Fonda mentioned it a couple weeks ago in passing to Auntie Tracy... and no, I don't really think my dad is an evil church administrator or person!

Industrial Strength Denial / McDonald's Quarter Pounder

Eric came online earlier to say that Jen needed a ride, then changed that later in our conversation about certain things since Andrea had sent him an email about Jen's ride status. I told him that I was reading, and he asked about that - then realized that it was appropriate for me. "Much better than the other excuse you gave me last week," indeed! He asked me if I'd read a certain site, and I told him that I hadn't yet... then he told me that I was taking swigs of Industrial Strength Denial. I DON'T THINK SO! 7:05 tomorrow at my place really means 7:15 if history proves me right - and it will, don't get me wrong! :P

The Translink site seems to have changed a little, which is cool. I don't need it this week, but maybe next week for Resonate. We were kinda making Pho / Subway / Quizno's plans for tomorrow, but that's fine. As long as he can eat something while prepping for Resonate next week, it's all good! Never mind that I mixed up Corey's and Jon's return dates, haha. Maybe I'll go out tomorrow and buy Quan a birthday box of chocolates to go with her card since she loves that stuff, and perhaps I'll also mail a get-well card (to be bought) to Charlie: seems he has congestive heart failure, aiya! :(


McDonald's Quarter Pounder

INGREDIENTS:

1 Topp's 1/4 lb frozen beef patty
1 sesame seed bun
1 Tablespoon fresh onion... diced
mustard, ketchup
2 HEINZ hamburger slices (pickles)
2 slices real American cheese (optional)
McDonald's Hamburger Seasoning

BEEF PATTY ALTERNATIVE: If you can't find Topps 1/4 pound patties, use one pound ground chuck, divide into 4 equal pieces, and form the patties about 5" diameter and 1/4" thick. Do this on wax paper, and freeze until needed.

Cooking your Quarter Pounder

Pre-heat an electric grill to 400 degrees. (If cooking more than one, also pre-heat an electric grill for toasting the sesame seed buns) Lay the beef frozen patty on the grill, and after about 20 seconds, "sear" it. Sear a little harder and a little longer than with regular hamburgers. You should apply heavy pressure for 6-8 seconds. Sprinkle liberally with McD's Hamburger Seasoning. (see regular burgers to make that) About 2½-3 minutes after searing, turn. Be careful not to tear the sear you just created. Add another dash Seasoning. Lay the crown of the bun facedown on an unused, clean portion of the grill. It will toast very quickly, so move it around in a circular motion to prevent burning. After about 30 seconds, the bun will be toasted enough. Remove to dress, and lay the heel facedown to the same spot on the grill. (If cooking more than one, follow the bun toasting instructions for the regular hamburger.)

DRESSING THE BUN: Put five "kisses" of mustard around the toasted crown about 1/2inch from the edge, equally spaced. Then put five squirts of ketchup in the pattern of a five on dice and the size of a nickel on the toasted bun. (Make the center one the size of a quarter.) Add about a tablespoon of freshly chopped white onion, and the two pickle slices, evenly spaced.

If you're making a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese, lay one slice of real American cheese on top of the condiments. Most cheese slices are slightly too big, so cut or tear off about an inch, making a slight rectangle.

By now, your meat should be done. (about 2½-3 more minutes after turning) Smash the beef patty with the spatula to "squeeze" out excess fat, then remove. Smash it again between the spatula and your free hand to additionally drain the fat. Lay it on top of your dressed crown and add the toasted heel. (If you're making a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese, lay another slice of real American cheese on top of the patty before adding the heel. Position the corners of alignment with the other cheese slice)

Wrap it in a pre-cut 12x12 sheet of waxed paper and either microwave it for 15 seconds, or allow it to be "warmed" in your pre-heated (lowest setting) oven for 8-10 minutes.(or use the alternate "Q-ing" method) ENJOY!!!

Being pale, rhymes, oddities, and morbid bathrooms

Today's Pale Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

While organizing his forces for a night attack at Chancellorsville, Virginia on May 2, 1863, Confederate General Stonewall Jackson was accidentally fired upon by his own men. He was hit in the right hand, left wrist and hand, and left arm. Although none of the wounds was in itself mortal, pneumonia set in and felled him. He died on May 10, as his physician, Dr. Hunter McGuire, relates:

"His mind... began to... wander, and he frequently talked as if in command upon the field...

"About half-past one he was told that he had but two hours to live, and he answered... feebly but firmly, 'Very good, it is all right.'

"A few moments before he died, he cried out in his delirium: 'Order A.P. Hill to prepare for action! Pass the infantry to the front rapidly. Tell Major Hawks -- ' then stopped, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"Presently a smile... spread itself over his pale face, and he said quietly, and with an expression as if of relief. 'Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees.'"

Culled from: Portraits of the Civil War

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And here's the final photograph of Stonewall Jackson, taken three or four months before his death.

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Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.

CALCULATING CLARA

O'er the rugged mountain's brow,
Clara threw the twins she nursed,
And remarked, "I wonder now
Which will reach the bottom first?"

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes

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Morbid Sightseeing!

Anna has a barhopping recommendation:

"Palace of Wonders is a new bar that opened up in DC. The theme is sideshow. I had the wonderful privilege of attending the grand opening last weekend and seeing a light bulb-eating man, sword swallowers, and many other sideshow acts. The upstairs is a museum of authentic oddities from the early sideshows. Things in jars, weird animals, and medical weirdness all amassed by a man named James Taylor. If you're hungry, they actually serve carnival food: popcorn, nachos, and corn dogs. Here is the article from the Washington Post. For anyone ever visiting Washington D.C., I highly recommend this place!"

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Here are some perfect trinkets for your morbid bathroom! I especially like the SOAP-O-PHOBIA Gross Curly Black Hair Soap and the brilliant Shroud of Turin Hand Towel.

Thanks to Virginia for the link.

24 missed calls... how sweet! / Taiwan / McDonald's Sweet & Sour Dipping Sauce

Finally home! I have missed calls, too... that's the magical cool number, haha! Half of them are from 416-224-0391 (Ontario scammers, I bet), and I have a few from 407-888-4444 in Florida. That number combines good luck and death in the Chinese tradition, for sure... creepy! There's also a few from a 604 number which has called me for the past week. Well, I'm not answering since I don't recognize the number except from seeing it on my Caller ID 30 times in seven days!)

Since I am home, I'll tell you about Corey's first impressions of Taiwan last weekend in conversation form!

Session Start (flamsterette_x@yahoo.com:Corey): Sat Feb 17 01:57:37 2007
[01:57:43] Corey: (butt)
[01:57:59] Flami: What the heck are you doing?!
[01:58:22] Corey: sending you a butt icon, but it didn't send a butt icon
[01:59:06] Corey: I can't understand anything anyone says here
[02:04:21] Flami: there you go... you don't have any experience in Chinese / Shanghaiese / whatever dialect or language they use there, I suppose
[02:04:44] Corey: Mandarin :P
[02:05:05] Corey: there is also Taiwanese, but apparently they don't know it... sounds like people mainly use Mandarin
[02:19:12] Flami: ah, okay... if it sounds all nasal and such, then it's probably Mandarin.. not that I know what Taiwanese sounds like, but trust me when I say I've had experience with Mandarin
[02:28:33] Corey: it is Mandarin :P
[02:28:43] Corey: I wouldn't describe it as nasally..
[02:32:26] Corey: maybe you're thinking of the different tones
[02:35:50] Flami: eh, probably..
[02:37:22] Flami: so... taking lots of pictures?
[02:46:29] Corey: uh... none yet :P they took a picture of me with like 20 other people last night
[02:56:08] Flami: cool! who was there?
[02:58:30] Corey: a bunch of family.. aunts and uncles and stuff
[02:59:13] Flami: so how do you communicate with them if you can't understand anything they say?
[03:03:12] Corey: uh, I just kinda sit there until I hear English :P
[03:03:21] Corey: a few people can speak English
[03:06:30] Corey: sounds like it's dinner time
[03:07:14] Flami: okay then... bedtime for me, so talk to you later
Session Close (Corey): Sat Feb 17 03:08:22 2007


Session Start (flamsterette_x@yahoo.com:Corey): Sat Feb 17 04:18:10 2007
[04:18:13] Corey: lots of fireworks going off outside now :P

Session Start (flamsterette_x@yahoo.com:Corey): Sun Feb 18 01:07:15 2007
[01:07:23] Corey: I've had bubble tea twice now, and it's probably better than YOUR bubble tea, so :P :P :P :P :P
[01:09:19] Flami: Plates mean nothing!: OH YEAH! CHINESE NEW YEAR! CALENDAR AHOY!
[01:12:30] Flami: well, it might be... isn't that where it originated?
[01:12:56] Corey: yes, so that means you suck and I'm cool
[01:13:07] Corey: that stuff is pretty good, though :P
[01:30:41] Flami: you sound like me... I say that kind of thing to my sister all the time: "I'm real and you're fake!"
[01:35:43] Corey: sounds like I'll get more of that from the good place tonight.. I don't know what it's called, but it's supposed to be the best bubble tea place, I guess. that stuff is kinda weird since you're chewing a drink... pretty good, though
[01:47:43] Flami: you're not really chewing the DRINK part... it's just the pearls / jelly that you're chewing :P
[01:51:45] Corey: yes, but they're in the drink and come out from the straw :P
[01:54:15] Flami: that still doesn't count
[01:56:52] Corey: close enough!!!
[02:11:07] Flami: yeah... whatever... that's like saying that congee is a drink, when it's really a food :P
[02:13:45] Corey: I just held Jane down and tickled her while holding both her arms away so she couldn't block it! :P she loves that
[02:24:05] Corey: she says she'll make me eat mushrooms
[02:38:52] Flami: COREY! THAT IS BAD!
[02:39:50] Flami: DO IT, JANE! Make him eat mushrooms! :D
[03:12:37] Corey: ha ha, she can't see that
[03:12:46] Corey: well, unless she comes back in :P
[03:12:56] Corey: I had an octopus ball today :P
[03:13:08] Corey: and Jane had this blood pudding stuff I wouldn't try
[03:13:17] Corey: it's on that page
[03:14:01] Corey: today, we had Chinese New Year dumplings and some sort of thing with red bean paste inside, which is the traditional breakfast on New Year's, I guess.... pretty good stuff
[03:14:40] Corey: last night, we had crab and shrimp and some other things... my stomach wasn't happy with me after that... but other than that, food here has been okay so far :P no problems with the water or anything like that
[03:14:46] Corey: the air here sucks, though
[03:15:32] Corey: and traffic is insane... people on motorcycles zooming around everywhere, and people basically make turns without waiting for other cars to not be in the way... I'm still not sure how the hell they aren't running into each other every other car
[03:18:23] Corey: and in the car, all you ever hear is "Always open.. Seven, eleven!!"
[03:18:34] Corey: 7-11 seems to advertise quite heavily on the radio :P
[03:18:44] Corey: and 7-11 doesn't even sell gas here! or Slurpees
[03:18:57] Corey: they don't even have a soda fountain thing :P
[03:21:15] Corey: probably stands out more on the radio since they sing that little jingle in English :P but they do repeat it a lot
[03:27:03] Flami: hahaha... I don't think I'd eat a whole lot of blood pudding, but I could have had it before
[03:28:21] Flami: ... why am I up now at 3:30 AM? I need to be up again in 5 hours... goodnight :P
[03:41:32] Corey: but it's only 7 something PM :P
[03:41:34] Corey: talk to you later


Top Secret Recipes version of McDonald's Sweet & Sour Dipping Sauce by Todd Wilbur

This is a clone of one of the sauces that you can get with your order of McNuggets at the world's largest hamburger outlet. Now, instead of hoarding those little green packs from the fast food chain, you can make up a batch of your own to use as a dip for store-bought nuggets, chicken fingers, fried shrimp, and tempura. Or you can use it as a sauce for a sweet and sour dish that includes pineapple, Bell pepper, onion, and sautéed chicken or pork. It's a simple recipe that requires a food processor or a blender, and the sauce will keep well for some time in the fridge.

1/4 cup peach preserves
1/4 cup apricot preserves
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
5 teaspoons white vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
2 tablespoons water

1. Combine all ingredients except the water in a food processor or a blender and puree until the mixture is smooth.
2. Pour mixture into a small saucepan over medium heat. Add water, stir, and bring mixture to a boil. Allow it to boil for five minutes, stirring often. When the sauce has thickened, remove it from the heat and let it cool. Store sauce in a covered container in the refrigerator. Makes about 3/4 cup.

Your Ex is Dependent

Your ex is dependent on others from almost everything - and has trouble accepting responsibility. Your ex is not able to be independent and fears being alone. People with dependent personality disorder feel helpless when a relationship ends and need constant reassurance. Sound at all familiar?

What's Wrong With Your Ex?

You Are Great With Money

You know the value of a dollar - and you save and spend wisely. By living below your means, you've set yourself up for a rich future. And while it may hurt to sacrifice now, you'll probably have plenty of money later on. You're on your way to riches - just keep it up.

Are You Good With Money?

Eh... sometimes yes, sometimes no!

You KNOW that I want to be HOME today... don't try to prolong it even more!

I know it seems like I'm making a zillion new posts in a row, but the parental controls on my dad's computer wouldn't let me open an Update page when I wanted to blog. *rolleyes* Thank goodness that it allowed Blogger to open, and I could draft posts in there! My sister suggested emailing the post drafts to myself, which would have been my next resort.

This morning, I woke up to my mom making plans on the phone with Auntie Eva for a dim sum lunch near Supermarket 2000. Grandma insisted that I go along because she wanted to treat me - gee, I wonder where that Chinese spirit was last night at dinner? Chinese New Year, maybe... oh well. At breakfast, Mom wanted to know whether I wanted to stay longer / was staying tonight. When I responded with an emphatic NO (she SEEMED understanding last night when she asked the same question!), she thought I was being rude... then asked why I hated this place so much, and asked why I didn't want to spend time with my loving family. It's not necessarily THAT... this place is fine. But after sacrificing a few days' worth of my time here, I want to GO HOME. It's natural impulse, wouldn't you say? Heck, if I *really* didn't want to spend time with them, I wouldn't go over at all. Way to blow things out of proportion AGAIN! Besides, she sings too much and touches me when I don't want to be touched... cheh! She knows this, too.

Grandma gave me a black winter coat that Aaron gifted her with for her birthday. I checked it out in the bathroom mirror, and I actually can say I look reasonably good in it! Maybe it's because I like black better than pink, haha. Then Mom insisted on giving me a bunch of food from Yaohan, plus the leftover rice... curry and veggies are the perfect side dish for the Tsim Chai rice! :D

You Are a Little Addicted to Gossip

In your view, most gossip is pretty harmless. And it's a pretty fun way to pass the time! You're willing to pass on some juicy details... As long as you're not impacting anyone's personal life too deeply.

Are You Addicted to Gossip?

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills. Bold and daring, you're not afraid to change your life if you think it needs an overhaul. Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life. Your emotions tend to be well thought out. You're willing to wait out a bad situation, and you're never too quick to act.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

Chocolates and turkey pies are all you think about when you get home?!

My sister and I went out to dinner with Grandma at Tsim Chai, who took FOREVER deciding what to order. Just pick something... we don't really care! Noodles are not JUST for lunch, and rice is not JUST for dinner either. No, the waitresses CANNOT read your mind when you want to pay the bill / pack the leftovers to take home! They can't see you half-waving your hand at them from across the room, either! Speaking of the bill, Grandma didn't budge at all to get her wallet... Steph had to pay for it. That's fine, but you'd think she would know that Steph didn't offer to pay just because she called earlier to say that we'd eat dinner out! (that way, she wouldn't have to get groceries!) Told Steph about the turkey pie fiasco: I wanted to microwave them so it would be faster / easier, but Grandma insisted that I knew how to use the toaster oven on the strength of ONE cursory directive by Mom. "It'll taste better in the oven!" Not necessarily, and I don't care! AIYA.

Corn may be a vegetable, but it's not quite as satisfying as a dinner thing with two rice dishes. Later, Steph checked her phone to find a message from Mom: they were on their way home already from Yaohan! Fine by me, as this gave me just enough time to log out from my sites on Mom's computer when we got home from the post office. Grandma thought Steph was picking up ice cream from 7-11 (where the post office was located), and then commented on how she shouldn't leave her purse unattended while paying for her parcel. Uh, it was right by her AND there was nobody else in the store but the two clerks! Besides, that would get heavy after a short time... she doesn't understand. *sigh*

Unfortunately, we forgot to throw the turkey pies and the other garbage (which contained the empty Belgian chocolate hedgehog box) out. Those were the first two things my parents noticed, and of course they promptly complained. Uh, yeah... if I wanted to hide a box of chocolates from everyone else in the house, I wouldn't put them in the laundry room and expect to have them all to myself. Besides, my mom had more than TWO chocolates from that box... it was half-empty when I got to it on Monday night and had the remainder! I know she's just like that, but I wish she wasn't! It's not like I went looking for them since my sister showed me the junk food stash! All in all, it's a good thing I didn't open a new box of chocolates, no matter how much I may have consumed! (stop complaining about inconsequential things, woman!) Of course, I didn't say that to her... I have enough sense! ;)

She calmed down over their dinner: yay for my sister and me having our veggie quotient! Then she gave me True Crime Through History (True Stories of the 100 Most Infamous Murderers of the Last Two Centuries) (Richard Glyn Jones) and The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar 2007 (Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras) when it's almost March... oh well. She also gave me a Care Bears folder, Iguana Golden Habanero sauce, microwaveable popcorn, Jolly Ranchers candy, El Pato Mexican spicy tomato sauce, fuzzy blue socks, a white chocolate Reeses cup, Hershey's Kissables, ten-cent ramen, Tootsie Rolls, and such. Home tomorrow after lunch to see how many missed calls I have! (hope it's not 540 like a dream I recently had...)

Ooh, edit. Grandma also gave me a pajama set and a vest of hers. Then she asked me what she was supposed to do with a Cadbury Burnt Almond bar that Mom gave her.... uh, eat it or give it away if you don't like it? She claimed I scared her when I went in her room to give her stuff... nobody is over, and there are people she knows here! That shouldn't be her mindset, but whatever... at least Mom explained to me later why she was so upset. Taking out her anger at Big G on me... sigh. Explanations are an improvement over a few years ago, let me tell you!

Skull famine and freaks of nature!

Today's Unburied Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

From 1790 to 1792, severe drought brought on a terrible famine in Bombay and other parts of India. Cannibalism became widespread, and the fact that there were so many unburied dead gave rise to the name "skull famine." No figures are available for the total number of deaths.

Culled from: Damn Interesting
Generously submitted by: Julie Wreck

**********************************************************************

Hmmmm... on second thought, maybe I'll call my band Skull Famine...

*******

Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.

IMPETUOUS SAMUEL

Sam had spirits nought could check,
And to-day, at breakfast, he
Broke his baby-sister's neck,
So he shan't have jam for tea!

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes

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Wretched Recommendations!

R has a cartoonist to recommend:

Freaks Of Nature by John Callahan

"Have you seen any of the cartoon books by John Callahan? He was an alcoholic who got in a car wreck, became a quadriplegic, became a more serious alcoholic, and ultimately became a cartoonist (holding the pen in his mouth). One of his collections has a cover drawing of a sheriff in the desert next to an abandoned wheelchair, with the caption 'He won't get far on foot!' "

*******

Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Stephanie forwards a site entitled Made Her Think:

"I wanted to share this site with you. They have GORGEOUS morbid jewelry that pays homage to Mexico's Day of the Dead, Victorian mourning jewelry, and memento mori (Latin for "remember your death"). I LOVE the skull bracelet!"

Alan and Kitty are Proud to Announce the Birth of their Child, Leslie, on September 17, 1976.

Unfortunately, Leslie ate their identical twin the moment they were born.

Alan and Kitty are laughing maniacally.

What Did Your Birth Announcement Say? at QuizGalaxy.com

Hahaha... that sounds like just my kind of birth announcement! :D

Bad Tim Hardaway with his anti-gay remarks! / McDonald's Famous French Fries

Way to go, Tim Hardaway. You just set things back even more with those anti-gay remarks! That kind of thinking went out a couple of generations ago!

Former Miami Heat guard Tim Hardaway said on a radio show Wednesday afternoon that he would not want a gay player on his team.

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

Hardaway was a guest of Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Batard on Miami sports radio station WAXY-AM and was asked how he would deal with a gay teammate. When asked if he would accept an active player's coming out, such as that of retired NBA center John Amaechi, Hardaway replied: "First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team.

"And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that's right. And you know I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. I wouldn't even be a part of that," he said.

His former coach, Pat Riley, told a Miami radio station on Thursday that "[Hardaway's attitude] would not be tolerated in our organization," the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

"Yes, I was shocked by some of the words that he used," Riley said on WQAM-AM, according to the newspaper. "It's a tough subject to talk about if you're not really thinking about it a lot. It's one-sided. But I was a little bit shocked by some of the words that he used.

"But I do know that Tim's a good spirit, and I'm sure now he wished he could take all of that back," Riley added, the newspaper reported. "And I hope he's not severely judged by his spewing of some of those words. That kind of thinking can't be tolerated. It just can't."

NBA commissioner David Stern, upon learning of the remarks Wednesday, banished Hardaway from All-Star weekend in Las Vegas.

"It is inappropriate for him to be representing us given the disparity between his views and ours," Stern said in a statement Thursday.

Stern said he had not spoken with Hardaway, who left Las Vegas on Thursday, but he planned to do so.

While Stern said a discussion about openly gay players could be part of future rookie orientation programs, he doesn't see a need to address the league.

"This is an issue overall that has fascinated America. It's not an NBA issue," Stern said, pointing to the ongoing debate over gay marriage at the state and federal levels.

"This is a country that needs to talk about this issue," he said. "And, not surprisingly, they use sports as a catalyst to begin the dialogue."

Hardaway apologized for his comments, which came a week after Amaechi became the first former NBA player to say he was gay.

"As an African-American, I know all too well the negative thoughts and feelings hatred and bigotry cause," Hardaway said Thursday in a statement issued by his agent. "I regret and apologize for the statements that I made that have certainly caused the same kinds of feelings and reactions.

"I especially apologize to my fans, friends, and family in Miami and Chicago. I am committed to examining my feelings and will recognize, appreciate, and respect the differences among people in our society," he said. "I regret any embarrassment I have caused the league on the eve of one of their greatest annual events."

Hardaway, who played in five All-Star Games during the 1990s, was already in Las Vegas and scheduled to make a series of public appearances this week on behalf of the league. He attended an NBA Cares event at a Las Vegas YMCA with Knicks forward Jerome Williams on Tuesday. The ex-U.S. Olympian was also originally scheduled to be an assistant coach at a wheelchair game Thursday night and later appear at the fan-oriented Jam Session.

Le Batard, who also writes for ESPN The Magazine, quoted Amaechi in a Miami Herald column saying the ex-NBA player was grateful for Hardaway's words.

"Finally, someone who is honest," he said. "It is ridiculous, absurd, petty, bigoted, and shows a lack of empathy that is gargantuan and unfathomable. But it is honest. And it illustrates the problem better than any of the fuzzy language other people have used so far."

Thursday morning, on ESPN Radio's Mike & Mike in the Morning, Amaechi said although the reaction to his coming out has been "overwhelmingly positive," Hardaway's comments seemed to trigger similar statements from others.


"Every comment that [Hardaway] made is labeled with hate," Amaechi said. "The percentage of e-mails I've received overnight that are going to have to go into a little box somewhere just in case I end up dead are unbelievable. He's been a lightning rod for people to finally open the floodgates and decide that they can say some pretty awful stuff.

"I will say this about the Tim Hardaway comments and the comments of people like him ... these are the loud comments that pollute the air," Amaechi said. "These are the comments that create the atmosphere that allow some of the tragic incidents of homophobia that we've seen. This is what makes the lives of gay and lesbian young people in schools miserable. It's what stops gay and lesbian people in the workplace from coming out as well as the fact they can be fined in 33 states for being gay. These are part of the problem."

Hardaway apologized late on Wednesday for the remarks during a telephone interview with Fox affiliate WSVN-TV in Miami.

"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people or anything like that," he said. "That was my mistake."

Hardaway played for five NBA teams from 1990-2003 and was a five-time All-Star. He finished with averages of 17.7 points and 8.2 assists.

On Mike & Mike on Thursday morning, Amaechi also said he was heartened by the NBA's response to Hardaway's comments.

"I think Commissioner Stern is absolutely right. ... I've been in contact with the NBA offices and it is not the views of the NBA as an organization," he said. "I don't think that people give NBA players enough credit ... some of them definitely don't agree with those views."

Two major gay and lesbian groups denounced Hardaway's remarks.

"Hardaway's comments are vile, repulsive and indicative of the climate of ignorance, hostility and prejudice that continues to pervade sports culture," said Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. "And by apologizing not for his bigotry, but rather for giving voice to it, he's reminding us that this ugly display is only the tip of a very large iceberg."

Said Matt Foreman, president of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force: "Hardaway is a hero to thousands of young people. And that's what makes his comments so troubling. Sadly, his words simply put the pervasive homophobia in the NBA on the table."

Amaechi taped a spot Thursday for PBS' gay and lesbian program "In the Life." He said the anti-gay sentiment remains despite Hardaway's apology.

"It's vitriolic, and may be exactly what he feels," he said. "Whether he's honest or not doesn't inoculate us from his words. It's not progress to hear hateful words."

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.


McDonald's Famous French Fries

Special Tools: Deep fryer, French Fry Cutter (or patience for cutting potatoes)

Ingredients:
2 large Idaho russet potatoes
1/4 cup sugar
2 Tablespoons corn syrup
1½-2 cups hot water
6 cups Crisco shortening
1/4 cup beef lard (or save the fat from previously cooked burgers)
salt

Preparing your French fries

Peel the potatoes. In a large mixing bowl... combine sugar, corn syrup, and hot water. Make sure the sugar is dissolved. Using a French fry slicer, cut the peeled potatoes into shoestrings. The potatoes should be 1/4" x 1/4" in thickness, and about 4"to 6" long. (You can do this with a knife, but it is a lot of work) Place the shoestringed potatoes into the bowl of sugar-water, and refrigerate. Let them soak about 30 minutes. While they're soaking, pack the shortening into the deep fryer. Crank up the temperature to "full." The shortening has to pre-heat for a very long time. It will eventually liquefy. After it has liquefied and is at least 375°, drain the potatoes and dump them into the fryer. (be careful, it will be ferocious)

After 1 to 1½ minutes, remove the potatoes and place them on a paper towel lined plate. Let them cool 8 to 10 minutes in the refrigerator. While they're cooling, add the lard or beef drippings to the hot Crisco. Again, crank the temperature to full. Stir in the lard as it melts into the oil. It will blend in. After the deep fryer is reheated to 375 to 400 degrees, add the potatoes and deep fry again. This time, fry them for 5-7 minutes until golden brown. Remove and place in a large bowl. Sprinkle generously with salt, then "toss" the fries to mix the salt evenly. (I suggest about 1 teaspoon of salt, maybe slightly more) Serve hot, serve immediately, and enjoy! Depending upon the size of the potatoes, this recipe will make about 2 medium sized fries.

Note 1: If you want more fries, double the recipe... but DON'T double the cooking oil. Just cook them in shifts, adding about 1/4 cup more Crisco and 1 tablespoon lard for the second batch.

Note 2: If cooking for a minute or so, removing, and returning the fries to the oil seems like a pain in the ass, that's because it is. But it is an important "blanching" step required for that great taste.

Note 3: For an easier clone of McDonald's French fries, you can use the frozen, precut Ore-Ida shoestring potatoes. Just cook them in the same combo of Crisco and lard, skipping the "blanching" process. Cook them while still frozen for 6-10 minutes (depending upon the amount) until golden brown. They're good, but not nearly as accurate in taste and texture as the fresh recipe.

It's the invasion of the white people, Grandma! ... NOT! / Fiery explosions and blow-up dolls

YAY! The Canucks won 3-2 over the Anaheim Mighty Ducks in overtime tonight! Danny Sabourin (the backup goalie) needed this game after the last one he played, where there was a bad goal by the other team that led to a Vancouver loss in a shootout. Vivian was over, which made Grandma think that Eric was going to come over too... haha, no. We tried a Mexican dish that was chocolate-covered spicy chicken: it was interesting! Steph brought her laptop downstairs and was looking at the people who added her as a friend on Facebook, so I told her what Sam said about J-Mak and the Mark Ho fan club, haha. (Jason got addicted after joining that ONE group!) Reminds me, Phil added me as a friend on Facebook a REALLY long time ago on my old email address... I'm not sure I want to get that addicted, either! o_O

This wireless network at the townhouse is kind of erratic, because a pop-up notification will appear on the screen every couple of minutes with "A network cable is unplugged." Steph says that Alan Liu thinks there's a problem with the wires or something. Maybe we can get Eric to fix it sometime, haha.


Today's Highly Explosive Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

On the morning of December 6, 1917, two passenger trains en route to the port city of Halifax, Nova Scotia were stopped in response to a brief, cryptic telegraph message sent from Halifax station: "Munition ships on fire. Making for Pier 6. Goodbye." The ship described in the message was the French munitions ship Mont-Blanc, which was adrift in Halifax harbor, burning, and loaded with almost 2,700 tonnes of explosives intended for use in the First World War which was then raging in Europe. On both sides of the harbor, hundreds of onlookers who were unaware of the danger had gathered on the shores to watch the spectacular fire. The burning ship slowly drifted into the pier on the west side, where its flames spread onto land. The fire department arrived in their first motorized fire engine, and began rolling out the hoses in an attempt to douse the flames, but their efforts proved futile. Within minutes, the Mont-Blanc's highly explosive cargo of TNT / picric acid / benzol fuel finally reached a tipping point, and the ship exploded in a ball of fire and energy more powerful than any man-made explosion before it. Two and a half square kilometers of Halifax was completely flattened by the blast. As black, oily soot rained down from the mushroom cloud, survivors found the streets of Halifax were littered with severed arms / legs / heads and mutilated torsos. A huge number of people had received injuries from flying debris and glass, particularly to the face and eyes due to the large number of people who had been watching the fire through their windows. All told, about 2,000 men, women, and children were killed that day, and some 9,000 injured.

Culled from: Damn Interesting
Generously submitted by: Julie Wreck

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Can you imagine having a nice look-see out your window at the pretty fire, then having the glass suddenly impaling your eyes and face? Shudder!

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Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites.

THE SHARK

Bob was bathing in the Bay,
When a Shark who passed that way
Punctured him in seven places;
-- And he made *such* funny faces!

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

DEAD babies!!! DEAD babies!!!!

Thanks to Desmodus for the link.

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

This is the coolest wind-up doll I've ever seen! I need one NOW!!! Unfortunately, it doesn't actually exist. :(

Thanks to Danny for the link.

Some movie theatre popcorn in Taiwan should be avoided!

My grandma just asked me whether gwei jai (Eric) brought over any presents when he came over last night. Not unless you count Steph's birthday present, no... our culture is totally different, and it's FINE if he doesn't bring anything over for an evening of watching TV! (she also came downstairs at 1:30 AM and figured that Steph was sleeping at gwei mui's house - yes, she was at Vivian's!) Eric (Steph's favorite gwei jai, as he inscribed himself - jokingly, perhaps) thinks that he should beat Steph in the Sun Run this year since he really has no reason not to... being a guy and much taller SHOULD do it for him, but I guess we'll see when it happens!

Corey also emailed me back TWICE about the movie theatre popcorn in Taiwan. When I get home, I should copy and paste his initial impressions of Taiwan into a new entry, haha. 7-11 and not understanding stuff, here we come! (haha) Reminds me, I should do the same with certain YM conversations between me and Erik into Blogger - it's not like he'll unfriend me for it since he's already done so! Basically, I don't care what he thinks anymore - and haven't for a year or so!


This is what he said:

You shouldn't have Taiwanese popcorn because it made both of us sick when we went to see Ghost Rider :P

I'm sure that doesn't apply to all Taiwan popcorn :P

Pretty stupid though that with all the new things I've been trying here, POPCORN is what makes my stomach go crazy on me.


Bubble tea is less than $1 (US, probably like $1.25 your money) here, and the really good place is very very close to Jane's place :P

We went to get hot pot tonight... with spicy stuff. Definitely good stuff.

So far I've been given $5000 from Jane's family and relatives, for Chinese New Year.. the red envelopes, assuming you know what that is. That's a lot of bubble tea! :P

Jane complained about restaurants giving you too much food when she came to see me, but so far I've had food thrown at me left and right every day I've been here, and I think I literally eat half of what most everyone else eats.

So the octopus balls are okay, the weird tofu and ultra hot chili sauce that goes with it is okay, strange vegetables we don't know the English translation of are okay... just watch out for that movie popcorn.

Oh, and I haven't seen any rats here... the theater was in a mall and everything seemed clean enough :P

And I sure as hell hope there wasn't pee in it, and sincerely doubt that there was, though I suppose you can't really rule that one out 100% unless you watch them make it............

Food is certainly very important, especially during the Chinese New Year! Of course I know what the red envelopes are, you dork! And spicy hot pot is GOOD STUFF! :D

Civil War suicide notes, rhymes, funeral biers, attractive corpses / McDonald's Chicken McNuggets

Note: What Happened in WWII blogquiz, by Melvin.


Eric just emailed me about a certain subject: I AM NOT GIVING IN TO YOUR EVIL PLANS, DUDE! Maybe I need to rethink the day I check blogs: Thursdays it is, then! So much stuff happens on Saturdays that those things (combined with my sleep habits) make it insane!

Andrea also emailed a bunch of us something about 2007 in the form of a PowerPoint slide. I'll just view it as HTML:

"Run into 2007... with gusto!
Don't forget to chase your goals...
Meet your neighbors...
Welcome new families...
Remember to go to the dentist when needed...
Let others know how you feel, don't ever hold back...
Get closer to those you love...
Play to your heart's content….
Remember, your friends will stick with you through thick and thin...
Always leave room in your heart for others…..
And never, ever forget those who are far away from us protecting our country.
HAVE A SAFE, HEALTHY, HAPPY, AND PROSPEROUS 2007."

I can imagine that certain people might have something to say about certain lines in there... o_O


Today's Ardent Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Edmund Ruffin (1794-1865), whom one historian describes as an "ancient and ardent secessionist," claimed credit for having fired the first shot of the Civil War. If Ruffin was an old (67) and defiant man at the start of the war, he was an old and broken man by war's end. But still fanatically defiant. In 1865, with his home, cause and country in ruins (a Federal soldier had scrawled along a wall: "This house belonged to a Ruffinly son-of-a-bitch"), Ruffin refused to accept life under Union authority. He blew his brains out, having first written a suicide note:

"I here declare my unmitigated hatred to Yankee rule -- to all political, social and business connection with the Yankees and to the Yankee race. Would that I could impress these sentiments, in their full force, on every living Southerner and bequeath them to every one yet to be born! May such sentiments be held universally in the outraged and down-trodden South, though in silence and stillness, until the now far-distant day shall arrive for just retribution for Yankee usurpation, oppression and atrocious outrages, and for deliverance and vengeance for the now ruined, subjugated and enslaved Southern States!

"... And now with my latest writing and utterance, and with what will be near my last breath, I here repeat and would willingly proclaim my unmitigated hatred to Yankee rule -- to all political, social and business connections with Yankees, and the perfidious, malignant and vile Yankee race."

Culled from: Portraits of the Civil War in Photographs, Diaries, and Letters

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And here's a lovely portrait of Edmund for you.

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Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites. Here's my personal favorite:

TENDER-HEARTEDNESS

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, althoguh the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes

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Morbid Link Du Jour!

If you are seriously, sincerely suicidal and want to make a good impression on your way to a better place, Attractive Corpse can help make your final wish a reality.

Thanks to Evonne for the link.

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Those of you in the Sacramento, CA area might be interested in picking up a little trinket for your house - an antique funeral bier!

Thanks to Lisa for the link.


McDonald's Chicken McNuggets

SPECIAL TOOLS: Deep fryer

Ingredients:
vegetable oil (in fryer)
1 egg
1 cup water
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup tempura mix (or 1/3 cup flour for a total of 1 cup if tempura mix is unavailable)
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon Accent
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
4 chicken breast filets, each cut into 6-7 bite sized pieces.

Cooking your McNuggets

1. Beat the egg and then combine it with 1 cup water in a small, shallow bowl. Stir.
2. Combine the flour, salt, Accent, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder in a one-gallon size ziploc bag.
3. Pound each of the breast filets with a mallet until about 1/4-inch thick. Trim each breast filet into bite sized pieces.
4. Coat each piece with the flour mixture by shaking in the ziploc bag.
5. Remove and dredge each nugget in the egg mixture, coating well. Then return each nugget to the flour / seasoning mixture. Shake to coat. Put nuggets, bag and all, in the freezer for at least an hour. Cover and refrigerate remaining egg mixture.
6. After freezing, repeat the "coating" process.
7. Preheat oven and large cookie sheet to 375°
8. Deep fry the chicken McNuggets at 375° for 10-12 minutes or until light brown and crispy. (cook only about 9 at a time.)
9. Drain on paper towels 3-5 minutes.
10. Place deep-fried nuggets on preheated cookie sheet in oven and bake another 5-7 minutes.
11. Serve with your favorite McDonald's dipping sauce.

"They died because you came in late! ... EVIL EX-PRESIDENT!"

Steph and I had to tell Grandma multiple times to not worry about how much we eat since we could get the various dinner components ourselves. It's not that we don't LIKE the food... it's just that we can eat as much as we need to first! We also reinforced that RICHMOND CENTRE is a better location for outings than DOWNTOWN, no matter if it takes only one bus to get to downtown. I might get lost there, and that wouldn't be good. I'll try newer things by myself and not when I'm with her, because she might get very impatient. Getting lost by myself wouldn't be the greatest thing either, but at least I won't have an old lady tagging along and asking me a zillion questions! Earlier, she told me to NOT STAND RIGHT BEHIND HER in the kitchen: Steph says I should remember to tell the parents that because it's exactly what she does to them! She also showed me the junk food stash in the laundry room, hehe... I'm finishing some Belgian chocolate hedgehogs now!

Did random Google searches, saw an Encyclopedia Dramatica article about me (which I see has been revised), and did some RQ tagging before Eric came over 20 minutes early. He said that he wanted to "prevent any David Palmer incidents," and asked if I was the only one home. Nope, as my sister came downstairs a little later. Eric gave her a birthday gift: Turtles chocolate and a personalized birthday card with the 24 logo as the number 24! She noticed the 24 theme as she was unwrapping the chocolates (yellow and black giftbag wrap), which he said was done very deliberately... the grey / silver bag COULD represent the OLD Pittsburgh Penguins, though! His card said something about his becoming a 24 addict in his 24th year thanks to her and Nathan, haha. Steph said that Vivian might come over, so told me to unlock the door. (good thing Grandma doesn't know!) We discussed spoilers, evil plots, Boston Pizza (THAT's what he was doing yesterday before we followed him!), certain friends of ours, and his killing Michelle and Tony (previous 24 characters) by walking in late. Vivian showed up late, and we joked during the next commercial break that she'd better not cause anyone to DIE! But by that point, the two deaths (two of Philip's men in the dumpsters) had already occurred: lucky for her! (remember: Quan was the cause of the bus blowing up because of a suicide bomber in the premiere episode!)

Interesting show: Milo shirtless, Evil Dad holding his grandson hostage and using speaker phone, Morris spitting out whiskey, and the ex-president Logan showing up! Philip Bauer just ran after scenes involving him and Josh (after leaving a clue for Jack), text messages, Marilyn "revealed" a lot to Jack during the first bit (not in THAT way although there IS sexual tension between her and her brother-in-law), and Tom Lennox was bound and gagged... gotta see what happens next week, for sure! Then we watched stuff about Greek wedding planning, wrestling (which Vivian doesn't like), sports highlights (Darren Flutie in the Hall of Fame), Chinese control freaks, wedding shows, Easter, and CSI for Horatio's one-liners. You can tell it's set in Miami because of the lighting! We were reminded that food is important to the Chinese: "Have you eaten yet?" is a very common greeting! Steph retold Vivian the story of slapping my butt - I once did it to her accidentally - and offered us these 24 cookies that Vanessa made. (she gave them to her at curling) Eric left at 10:40 and forgot the NHL 2006 game that Steph returned to him, after asking if I needed a ride home - nope, since I've replaced the parents and am quite scary! Steph's sleeping over at Vivian's, so they left soon afterwards. Now it's just me who's awake and here, since Grandma's sleeping.

Just emailed someone a character clarification, or else he'll be like "Charles Logan? So? Isn't that a random dude?" No... he's the evil ex-president from the last season, and he's in with Gredenko maybe. Then Auntie Rebecca emailed me: she likes the Chinese New Year greeting I sent, and says: "Happy New Year! Show you something interesting!" Normally, you'd think that means she would do just that, but no. It's just her way of saying that it was interesting, I guess

FINDING a hotel, settings, shows, Tao

I got up earlier than usual, found a message from Corey about how you shouldn't ever buy movie theatre popcorn in Taiwan, and already had four missed calls on my phone. Wonder if I'll set some crazy record for missed calls this week, haha. Got to the townhouse, to find my parents STILL there! Had lunch, and now they've finally left as of 1:30. Ah, blissful peace with just my grandma!

Hey, someone changed the settings on my mom's IE so popups ARE allowed! Very nice for replying to comments via Gmail, since popups are probably blocked on all other computers in the house (dad's desktop, bro's laptop, sister's laptop) which makes the process more difficult! That, and I'm lazy. :P I should note that any typos on my part during the next few days aren't my fault since IE 6 doesn't have a spellchecker that I know of. Eh well, maybe I'll just open Word instead and leave it till I go. (same with all these IE browser windows, haha... I don't want to forget to log out and have certain things exposed!)

Heh, my sister just forwarded me an email which my mom sent her. Mom meant "FOUND a hotel" in the subject line, but put "FIND a hotel" instead! As far as I know, my sister doesn't need a hotel for anything! o_O

Should definitely check this out after the show and such! (if you have to ask WHICH SHOW, you are officially clueless!) Googling my various screen names now... what the HECK is one of my old entries doing on a DVD burner news site?! *thunk*

You scored 69 The Teacher, 50 The Student, 81 The Supple, and 10 The Ridged!

Finally, The End. If you scored high in "The Teacher," you are very aware of The Tao even if you do not realize it. If you scored high in "The Student," you are very open to learning new things and have great things awaiting you further up the road. If you scored high in "The Supple," you are a natural. You do not need anyone's guidance, you listen to what your soul, body, and mind tell you. If you scored high in "The Ridged," you need to take a vacation or just a meditation session. Calm down, open your eyes. Everything isn't as bad as you think it to be. If you scored just about the same in every aspect, good job. You are balanced in the sense of today's society. Unlike the rest of us, you are indifferent to change. You readily show your emotions, but do not become irrational. You realize everything is nothing, and nothing is as it seems. Keep it up.

This test tracked 4 variables. How the score compared to the other people's:

	Higher than 53% on The Teacher
	Higher than 1% on The Student
	Higher than 33% on The Supple
	Higher than 64% on The Ridged

Link: The Tao Test written by jsandizzle on Ok Cupid

Teeth / Ruthless Rhymes / Cannibals / McDonald's Chicken Fajitas

Steph sent me an Evite to something which I cannot attend: her "thank you" dinner for her friends on Saturday conflicts with the Awana Leader Dinner! Ah well, next time perhaps! Connie returned my CNY greetings, which is a good thing! Meanwhile, Eric just wants to advance a specific evil plot: you can bet I'll get him for that tomorrow, haha. On another note, information and certain other things can indeed help. ;)


Today's Dental Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

The night of 18 June 1815 was one to remember. After 23 years of war in Europe, Napoleon faced the combined might of England, Holland, and Prussia at Waterloo. By 10 PM, the battle was over. The French were defeated and 50,000 men lay dead or wounded on the battlefield. The casualties were high... but for one group of people, that was reason to celebrate. They were the dentists who were about to benefit from the great tooth bonanza. In the early part of the 19th century, patients with plenty of money (but very few teeth) were prepared to pay enormous sums for a good set of dentures. The best were made with real human teeth at the front. Most of the time, demand for second-hand incisors far outstripped supply, but wars helped make up the shortfall. The windfall from Waterloo provided enough to ship supplies all round Europe and even across the Atlantic. The flood of teeth onto the market was so huge that dentures made from second-hand teeth acquired a new name: Waterloo teeth. Far from putting clients off, this was a positive selling point. Better to have teeth from a relatively fit and healthy young man killed by cannonball or sabre than incisors plucked from the jaws of a disease-riddled corpse decaying in the grave, or from a hanged man left dangling too long on the gibbet.

Culled from: A Web of English History
Generously donated by: Meredith

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I think I'm going to start a band and call it Waterloo Teeth...

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Follow-Up Du Jour!

An anonymous individual wrote to express dismay at inaccuracies in the Mother Jones article about Iraq War Trophies:

"I am not a big fan of the war. I have family members in Iraq now, and I have had another family member shot while he was over there. However, I am outraged when I see atrocities wantonly attributed to the US military that obviously were not committed by them. The most ridiculous example is given here. This is not a US soldier. He is obviously not wearing an American military uniform and not carrying an American military sidearm. He is Iraqi. The dismembered body parts are far more likely to have come from a car bomb than an American weapon. Iraqis are killing many more Iraqis than are Americans.

"The point that the war is unacceptable can easily be made without resorting to cheap propaganda that is insulting to the soldiers and marines serving as best they can. Blatantly ignorant arguments against the war only make the anti-war movement look stupid."

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Ruthless Rhyme Du Jour!

I've been reading Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes and More Ruthless Rhymes by Harry Graham, a collection of hysterical poems originally published in 1899, and I thought I'd share with you some of my favorites. Here's the first delightful little nugget:

THE STERN PARENT

Father heard his Children scream,
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying, as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, *not* heard!"

Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes

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Wretched Recommendations!

Evonne has a movie recommendation for us:

Cannibal! The Musical (1999)

"Amazon.com says: Alfred Packer was a mountain guide and sole survivor of a party of pioneers that got lost in the mountains in winter. Accused and convicted of murdering and eating his travelling companions, he was to be executed by hanging. The movie begins at his trial, where he pleads his innocence to an unsympathetic audience. Only reporter Polly Pry will listen to his story, which is then related to the viewers in the form of flashbacks. As Packer and his gold-prospecting clients make their way through the forests and mountains, they encounter bemused Japanese Indians / an unimpressed group of mountain men / the brutal Rocky Mountain winter, all of which inspire the travellers to break out into song and dance.

"I say: GREAT movie! I laughed so hard I cried. It had catchy tunes (which I am still singing!), a monster, hilarious gore, a shooting, and a lamb. This movie comes from the creators of South Park before they were big."

I saw this one myself and found it to be silly fun, but not exactly a masterpiece of the morbid comedy genre. Still, it's worth seeing.

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

Here's a great site for those of you searching for something morbid to crochet!

Monster Crochet

Thanks to ~JR~ for the link.


McDonald's Chicken Fajitas

Special Fajita seasoning:

1 tablespoon cornstarch
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon sugar
3/4 teaspoon crushed chicken bullion cube
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon cumin

(or if you're LAZY like me, try using McCormick fajita seasoning... tastes great and is close enough)

Ingredients:

2 large skinless chicken breasts
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/2 cup diced white onion
2 Tablespoons McDonald's fajita seasoning (see above)
2 Tablespoons water
1/2 teaspoon white vinegar
1/4 teaspoon lime juice, from concentrate
2 slices real American cheese
4 8" flour tortillas
cooking oil

COOKING YOUR FAJITAS:

1.Cut the chicken into small strips, none longer than two inches, about 1/4 inch thick.
2. Combine fajita seasoning with water, vinegar, and lime juice in a small bowl.
3. Marinate chicken in above mixture, covered and refrigerated, for a couple of hours.
4. Cook marinated chicken strips in a wok over medium-high heat until brown. (retain marinade) Use cooking oil to prevent sticking.
5. Add green pepper and onion, and stir-fry for about 1 minute.
6. Add remaining marinade, stir-fry until liquid "escapes."
7. Spoon 1/4 of the mixture into the center of one flour tortilla and add a half-slice American cheese. Sprinkle with a dash of your pre-mixed McDonald's fajita seasoning. (do this for all four of 'em)
8. Fold like a burrito with one end open and wrap in a 12x12 sheet of wax paper. Let sit 5-7 minutes.
9. Microwave, still wrapped, 15 seconds each. (separately)
10. Drop on the floor for a more authentic taste.
11. Enjoy with Pace picante sauce on the side.