Rockets, word searches, weird dreams, chemistry poem

Hey, I have some leftover Rockets from last night! I think I'll give them to my sister, haha. She likes them, so why not? (I do, too... but she loves 'em!)

Due to a discussion Corey and I were having the other day about word searches (he says he'll kick my punk azz in 'em!), I'll give him a bunch for Christmas with all the ginseng / Kelowna stuff. Hey, if he used to buy books of them when he was a kid, this will be cool! (but no answers, heh) All that's left to fit in the bubble wrap envelope now is a Christmas card, which I'll do in a month since it's certainly too early to think about now!

I've also caught up on blogs: Spoz has got a cold going on since he does way too much stuff, but has a weekender essay up anyhow. (seeing THE DEPARTED isn't for me, but if he and Kempy enjoyed it...) Stealing hats, sampling ales / shots, and having general fun... I'm all for that, haha. As a consequence of such, he gets one of the supremely screwed-up dream / nightmare sequences that only an A-GRADE alcohol detox can provide: "in one dream, I'd be in the middle of an exceptionally violent home invasion, captured, tortured, face cut up with knives.. only to "wake up" into a different dream, where after checking for bleeding cuts to my face in the bathroom mirror, my relief that it was "only a dream" soon turns to horror when my nose falls off.. only to wake up from THAT monstrosity to greet an equally weirder follow up dream sequel.. with this whole surrealistic journey continuing for the entire morning (thankfully, no head spinning babies crawling on the ceiling tho'.. hahahaha!)"

(speaking of weird dreams... I've had some lately that involve stalking Rock 101's Robin LaRose at a much-improved Ryan Road area / the South Arm baseball fields, Joe Yu shutting me up in a prison of his own making while the building was on fire, my wearing a crown and purple robes as a MARIO character, my bathroom light not working, being really late for Awana in the snowy winter since I got up at 3:25 and wondering if Henry was still waiting for me, and not being able to help people as they sank in chocolate sulfur murderous vats!)

Steph has a doctor opinion that laser eye surgery is safer than contacts, but also says that she didn't pay $2300 for her patience to be corrected since the healing process is different for everyone. Dave's got a haircut, and a funny chemistry poem:

Jimmy was a chemist's son
but Jimmy is no more
What Jimmy thought was H2O
Was H2SO4

You are completely normal... nothing weird about you

There is nothing weird about you... you love to hang out and do your own stuff!

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

Your Homeless Guy Experience

OMFG! IT'S YOUR GRADE 8 TEACHER!!

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

"Eight should be enough... I'm not giving you NINE!" / Cinnabon Cinnamon Roll

I'm listening to Green Day's Geek Stink Breath as I touch up this post... you'll find out how appropriate it is later on if you read this! ;)

As soon as Eric picked me up from our meeting place, we were in the zone listening to the hockey game. St. Louis had scored already, Eric informed me... their goalie was pretty good! By the time we got to church, the score hadn't changed, although the Canucks outshot the Blues by a huge margin! He asked if I were going to Pho: I usually do when he goes to church early, so he handed me eight dollars ("I'm not going to give you nine, haha!") and told me to get one of the grilled pork things with rice for him: a #43 takeout wasn't a problem! (I got him some chopsticks and a napkin too) I got back to church by 7:15, saw my brother who told me that Eric was downstairs (since Steph / Mike / Joey / Sam / Ivan were practicing for Floodlight upstairs), and talked to Christon and Sheena for a while. Stress, preparation, Jeremy underestimating the time it took to bus to the church from home (waiting 20 minutes for the bus definitely cuts into that!), Chinese bus tours, turning off the sound system (we'd turn it on again if we needed it), and Steph not staying because she'd fall asleep (she went home with Dad) were all discussed.

After that, we listened to Cordia and Joyce doing weird sound effects on the keyboard until Dylan kicked them out to go downstairs since our program was starting. I talked to Ivan, Randal, and Karen Lew for a while, and tried some ginger beer from President's Choice. I'm sure it wasn't alcoholic, but it was good! Randal thought I might not like it - he just doesn't know me very well yet, haha! Eric's food definitely smelled good, Frances observed. During the program, I talked to Alan / Eric / Jeremy for a bit... yup, Chinese parents have weird ways of punishing their kids! Making them kneel (over a vent) and pull their ears (my mom once made me do that all night when I was 20!), or using the hard end of a feather duster on them? Bleh! I'm afraid my answers weren't that informative, but at least they asked me if I had anything to say! Maybe I need to rethink being private with some things, since I *am* among friends in a safe environment - who cares what they think? (haha, I'm only half-joking!) On my way back from the washroom, I saw Henry and a couple others coming into the church - I could hear ambulances outside. Hopefully he remembers to pick me up tomorrow... he's been quite good about it, heh. :D

Later, I decided to see if the downstairs group was done yet: they weren't, so I talked to Karen Choo and Karen So for a brief while about life and Committee. I guess it is hard to decide whether to serve an extra year on Committee, with all the doubts and such that plague your head! (I went through that, too!) Afterwards, I asked Jeremy how much he knew about ginseng: when the answer was "not much," I gave him the info that I'd picked up on the tour. He then said that ginseng beer could be something he might like, so I told him to get on that with all the other beer he's making! (he mentioned ginger shots for the Sunday dinners: that would be so cool!)

The cleaners were there earlier than usual (or so it seemed), so we went downstairs. Jon was helping out with the other group, so we talked to him and a bunch of others (Danielle, Sam, etc.) for a while. LUCAS WAS THERE!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN A LONG TIME! He's at Langara - good school. Someone asked about Steph, so Jon said that she'd gone home early: I added that she mentioned that she'd fall asleep if she stayed any longer after Floodlight practice. Jon then added that she'd slept only 3 hours because of an interview: Eric thought that she'd be too loud for that place! Haha, maybe... she'd better learn to tone it down while there, for sure! We heard from Joey (who'd gone across the street to the Pho place to watch it on their TV) that Salo had scored with a few seconds left in overtime to ensure the Canucks won the game... YES! Eric told me that the pork made his breath stinky with onion / garlic... yeah, it's too bad that he can't just chew some gum to get rid of it!

Sam asked Eric for a ride home, which wasn't a problem... we stopped by Dragon Ball first, though. Jon made fun of Joey and others going to McDonalds for ice cream: "IT STINKS, MAN!!!" We discussed the West Side skunk smell (Sam didn't know it was skunk for a long time - he just thought it smelled weird), and how my friend Jason had to get his friends to help him clean his car after a skunk sprayed it. At Dragon Ball, we discussed Dallas / Phil / Joe's farewell on Sunday / interesting things in the Chinese magazines (acupuncture, the lack of Chinese translation for "may I go to the toilet? go ahead," horoscopes) / grabbing a table to nearly give it up later - eep! / our various bubble teas (my cherry, Eric's non-sugar papaya, Jon's green apple-peppermint) / liking how I butt in line. (haha, I go for the subtle approach) Jon told someone on the phone that he was a geek... yeah, about things like beer / brewmasters at Dix (Jeremy told me that they'd gone yesterday... six casks of beer is pretty great!) / music!

On the way home, we discussed Ivan playing Sam's new guitar ($400 at Tom Lee on Tuesday!) and Jon directing a bunch of people from the shady Pho to the good Pho - I saw them there when I ate dinner! Jon brought up tomorrow's conference (he and Nathan were late today!), tomorrow's plans, Nathan, and parental approaches to our going out late. There was the time in 2000 that Jon and I went to karaoke and a meal - Mom was waiting for us at 3 AM because someone called at 2:30! (of COURSE Sean was involved!) Sam's mom just calls him a lot, while his dad doesn't really mind - Jon's just trained Mom over some years to gradually extend the time he's out, haha. There's this sketchy girl (Questa?) that Sam knows from somewhere who smokes, robs people, and then goes to church the next day! Jon has no beef with her or her sister yet, so I'm not sure whether he will now, heh. Sam also told us about how Lucas was keyboarding in a band (we thought he'd be drumming) who wanted to go on tour. Lucas quit because he wanted to get some college / university education in first... that had to be a tough decision! Good times, though! Hey, one of the nice ladies on the bus tour has emailed me some photos - cool stuff. They're mostly pictures that I already have, so I won't bore you with 'em. But it was cool she remembered about them, heh. Now Corey's telling me that he gets paid to help people do web searches on ChaCha... okay, then! (Heather M.'s "please bare with me" makes it sound like she has something else in mind, hahaha!)


Cinnabon Cinnamon Roll

Serving Size: 12
Categories: Rolls
INGREDIENTS:

DOUGH
1/4 cup warm water
1 cup milk -- room temperature
1 large egg – beaten
1/4 cup butter -- softened
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 cups all purpose white flour
1/2 package instant vanilla pudding mix (3.4 oz box)
1 tablespoon bread machine yeast

FILLING
1 cup brown sugar – packed
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 cup butter -- softened

CREAM CHEESE CINNAMON FROSTING
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
4 ounces cream cheese – softened
1/4 cup butter -- softened
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 tablespoon milk
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

*********
Preparation Instructions:

Dough: Add the dough ingredients, in the order listed, to the bread machine and prepare using the dough setting. On a lightly floured surface, roll out to an 18" by 30" rectangle. The dough can also be handmade. If you use regular yeast, you may want to let the rolls proof for 15-30 minutes after assembly).

Filling: In a small bowl, mix brown sugar and cinnamon. Spread the softened butter over the dough and evenly sprinkle on the sugar and cinnamon mixture. Starting at the long edge of the dough, roll up tightly. Mark the roll every 2 inches. With a thread, cut the roll by placing the thread under the roll at your mark. Crisscross over and pull to cut. Place rolls into greased 8" or 9" baking pans 2" apart. Cover and let rise in a warm, draft free place until almost double, approximately 1 hour. After rising, rolls should be touching each other and the sides of the pan. Bake at 350 degrees F. for 15 to 20 minutes, or until golden brown.

Cream Cheese Cinnamon Frosting: In a small bowl... mix cream cheese, butter, vanilla, and milk. Add powdered sugar and cinnamon... mix until smooth. Spread on warm rolls and serve immediately.

This recipe has been adjusted so that the dough can be prepared in your bread machine. These will taste most like the originals if you use Makara Cinnamon (available at the Cinnabon Stands) instead of conventional powdered cinnamon from the supermarket.

Busing to intersections again / Halloween Names

Eric just messaged me: no, I was NOT producing even if it took me some time to answer his MSN buzz! He wanted me to bus to Cambie / Jacombs by 6 since he'd hate to go through the #3 / Westminster traffic TWICE, especially if he was planning to go to Fellowship straight from work. After delaying an answer because I had to do various things, I finally said I would. So I'm out of here again in a bit: earlier than I thought, but it works out! ;) (so sunny today!)

Halloween Names from Alyssa, via Myspace bulletin:

Go to this site, enter your name in the box, and hit the Get Name button. DON'T CHEAT, KEEP THE FIRST ONE THEY GIVE YOU. Then add your name to the list and repost entire bulletin.

Dead Name

1. Sara - Evil Queen (oh, so right)
2. Bexx - Static Pulse (oohh, that's a cool name)
3. Jasmine - Deadly Whispers
4. Erin - TRAUMA
5. Minners -- Velvet Rain Drops (sounds like a song)
6. Jessica - Lucid Nightmare
7. Erica - Liquid Dreams
8. Laura - Dancing Corpse
9. Lisa - Bitch Slave
10. Jessica - Deranged Insanity (haha... love it)
11. Nic - Liquid Snake
12. Jeremy D. - Leather Pleasure
13. Crystal Green ---- Velvet Crotch
14. CHASTITY NEUSOM ---- BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE
15. Lee LaForest ---- Lucid Nightmare
16. Dawn West ~~ Crimson Moon
17. Chad L. -- Heavenly Demonic
18. Brie C. ~~ Bitter Beauty
19. Stania - Bloody Tears
20. HoMan == Liquid Dreams
21. Chel - Gilded Crotch (ha ha)
22. John -- Dead on Arrival
23. Robin -- Bondage Slut... HAHAHAHA
24. Alicia == Toxic Tears
25. Jonathan = Disturbed Angel
26. Barbara --- Lips Sewn Shut
27. Amanda - Damaged Roses
28. Sloan -- Candlelight Chaos
29. Christy = Beautifully Chaotic
30. Jeff - Bloody Kisses (and what a great album!)
31. Delton == Sedated Angel
32. Matlock - Vicious Tongue
33. Misty - Angelic Scars
34. Lorri - Dead Pleasures
35. Loni - Beautiful Disgrace
36. Cindy - Beautifully Chaotic
37. Raymond - Beautiful Nightmare
38. Kalyn - Vicious Mistress
39. Lacy - Vicious Girl (WTF?)
40. Shannon - Synthetic Darkness
41. Reggie Green - Damaged Roses
42. Lisa - Slut Boi
43. Wanda - ShadowDweller; Ronnie - Beautiful Nightmare
44. Jen - Beautiful Nightmare
45. Kat W. - Demonic Angel
46. Robert - Pixie Corpse
47. Sage - Midnight Temptress
48. Cruisininblue ~ Liquid Vamp
49. Valerie ~~ Chaotic Kittie ~~ I knew I'd be a cat ~ Meow!!!
50. Sharon ~ VELVET DREAMS.. MmmmmmHmmmmm ;)
51. John / mxsinder ~ Lucifer. (I can't think of a comment)
52. Jennifer / Slackmeister -- Liquid Fantasy (Well, I AM a Pisces)
53. Nicole / Princess - Violent Sex Addict (OH, SO TRUE)
54. Frank ~ Liquid Fantasy
55. Sabrina ~ Velvet Tears
56. Lara ~ Leather Pleasure
57. Jan - Dessicated Corpse
58. Majick - Beautifully Decayed
59. Gerald ~~ Velvet Tears (hey, Sabrina and I have the same name, haha)
60. Michael - Disturbed Angel
61. Patricia ~ Liquid Vamp
62. Mike ~ Kittie Corpse
63. Blue Eye Devil ~ Dancing Corpse (Either way, I'm a Corpse)
64. Hug & Kissable == Without my middle name - Morbid Mistress; With my middle name - Velvet Kisses
65. greenbudangel ~ Violent Beauty... interesting, haha ...
66. Jason - Cruel Intentions ... hmmmm, not sure... HAHA
67. Laura - Necrotic Freak!
68. Tim - Toxic Tears
69. Todd - Synthetic Darkness
70. Kimberly - "Fucked Up Freak"... hahaha!
71. Shauna - Beautifully Chaotic
72. Megan - Midnight Temptress..... hmmm
73. WilliamBlake - Chaotic Kittie <--that's wrong, it sounds gothic and girly!
74. Laura Coffey -- Bloody Kisses! yummmm!!!!
75. Dustin Spane - Latex Sex! ;o
76. Christina - Beautiful Nightmare
77. Jessica - of course it would be this... LUCIFER!!! hahaha, THAT IS FREAKIN GREAT
78. Elyssa ~ Beautiful Nightmare
79. Alyssa ~ Latex Sex
80. Chrissy ~ Leather Pleasure
81. Ken - Velvet Dreams
82. Charles - Midnight Fantasy
83. Michelle - Velvet Crotch
84. Steve - Disturbed Angel
85. Jennifer - Kittie Corpse
86. Dawn ~ RAZORBLADE KISSES
87. Megan - Homicidal Maniac :( that's scary
88. Alyssa - Twisted Illusions
89. Mirzky - Beautifully Chaotic
90. Miracle Smith - Deadly Whispers
91. Eric - Faerie Corpse (I am not a GIRL!)
92. Leslie - Dead Pleasures

I've Done 77 Out Of 143 Stupid Things

Taken from Tim (lackofendorphin):

I've Done 77 Out Of 143 Stupid Things.

Level 1
() Smoked A Cigarette
() Smoked A Cigar
() Done Weed
() Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 1

Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been Dumped
(X) Shoplifted
(X) Been Fired
() Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 5

Level 3
(X) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
() Been Arrested
() Made Out With A Stranger
(X) Gone Out On A Blind Date

SO FAR: 8

Level 4
(X) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X) Skipped School
() Slept With A Co-worker
() Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 10

Level 5
(X) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your LiveJournal Friends
() Been To Paris
() Been To Spain
(X) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 12

Level 6
(X) Eaten Sushi
() Been Snowboarding
() Met Someone BECAUSE Of Myspace
() Been Mosh Pitting

SO FAR: 13

Level 7
() Been In An Abusive Relationship
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love(d) Someone Who You Can't Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By

SO FAR: 16

Level 8
() Had A Tea Party
() Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sandcastle
(X) Gone Puddle Jumping
(X) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 19

Level 9
() Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
() Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 22

Level 10
() Used A Fake / Someone Else's ID
(X) Watched The Sun Set
(X) Felt An Earthquake
() Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 24

Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
() Robbed Someone
(X) Been Misunderstood
() Pet A Deer

SO FAR: 27

Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 31

Level 13
(X) Have / Had Braces
(X) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night more than once...
(X) had déja vu
(X) danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 35

Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Look
(X) Witnessed A Crime
() Pole Danced
(X) Questioned Your Heart
(X) Been Obsessed With Post-It Notes

SO FAR: 39

Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
() Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(X) Swam In The Ocean / Gulf
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 43

Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers (gotta do it for the toddlers in Sunday School every week... I hate blank space, haha)
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 48

Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
() Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 51

Level 18
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
() Been Kissed Under The Mistletoe
(X) Watched The Sun Set With Someone You Care(d) About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made A Bonfire On The Beach

SO FAR: 55

Level 19
() Crashed A Party
() Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
() Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
() Been Humped By A Monkey?

SO FAR: 56

Level 20
(X) Worn Pearls
() Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Screamed "Penis"
() Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 58

Level 22
() Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole / Freezer / Ice Cube
() Kissed A Fish
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 60

Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
() Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
() Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(X) Stayed Up All Night

SO FAR: 62

Level 24
() Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
() Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 64

Level 25
() Believe In Ghosts
() Have / Had More Than 30 Pairs of Shoes
() Gone Streaking
() Been in Jail / Visited Someone in Jail

SO FAR: 64

Level 26
() Played Chicken
() Been Pushed Into A Pool With All Your Clothes On
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
() Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused (family trait, this one...)

SO FAR: 66

Level 27
() Caught A Fish, Then Ate It
() Made A Porn Video
() Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 68

Level 28
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
(X) Slept Naked
() French Braided Someone's Hair
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House

SO FAR: 74

Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
() Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
() Blackmailed Someone
() Been Blackmailed

SO FAR: 75

Level 31
(X) Been Used
() Fell Going Up The Stairs
() Licked A Cat / Dog
(X) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 77

Level 32
() been shot at
() had sex in the rain / rainy night
() flattened someone's tires
() ridden in your car until the gas light came on
() got five dollars or less worth of gas

So Far: 77

Repost Your Results Like This...
I've Done 77 Out Of 143 Stupid Things.

WTF! There are a lot of things which I wouldn't label "stupid" at all!

RM tagging, guy friends, sweet plans, enthralled, kink, Church's Fried Chicken, Hogwarts ghosts

Finally finished tagging random_musings posts... now I can get back to Bookworm for my downtime if I like! I should ask Eric tomorrow how that Mexican dinner went: too bad I couldn't be there, but I was really tired and such. Yup, I have the ginseng stuff for Jeremy... whether he wants it or not, haha.

My Saturday plans are definitely the coolest ever! What could beat spending time with a GOOD FRIEND who will help you do stuff? NOTHING! (unless you're spending time with the Queen or something, in which case I will be jealous!)

I have also decided that I will use the "enthralled" mood icon whenever I'm very interested in a particular topic, but can't seem to find another mood to suit. That should work out JUST FINE... :D

Oh, and I also figure that kinky people would very much like a position in which one partner (the guy or the girl) can't move much at all. For example, being bent in half backwards: if your hands were on the ground, and your upper body was flat against the wall... now that would be something for those people! :P (I am not kinky in any way, shape, or form... these are just random thoughts sparked by what Corey was telling me about wall walking and Russian gymnasts!)


Church's Fried Chicken

Recipe By:
Serving Size: 3 Preparation Time: 0:00
Categories: Chicken, Sandwiches, Salsa

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method

1 tablespoon Sugar
1 1/2 cups Self-rising flour
1/2 cup Cornstarch
3 teaspoons Seasoned salt
2 teaspoons Paprika
1/2 teaspoon Baking soda
1/2 cup Biscuit mix
1 Envelope Italian Dressing Mix
1 Envelope Onion soup mix
2 Eggs -- mix with 1/4 cup Cold water, 1 cup Corn oil

Combine all ingredients in a 4-cup container. Mix to blend the ingredients thoroughly. Store tightly covered at room temperature up to 3 months. TO USE - Dip the chicken pieces in egg mixture and then into dry coating mix and back into egg to coat the pieces evenly but lightly and finally back into dry mix. Have oil piping hot in heavy skillet. Brown pieces skin-side down for 4 to 6 minutes. Use medium high heat. Turn and brown the underside of the pieces for a few minutes. Transfer to an oiled or Pam-sprayed 9x12x2 pan. Cover pan in foil, sealing it on only 3 sides of pan. Bake at 350° for about 45 to 50 minutes. Remove foil. Bake another 5 minutes just to crisp the coating. Serves 4.

Which Hogwarts ghost are you? Name: Favorite sports team: Broomsticks! Yes! I want one! Give me one now!Erm... no thanks. I'm scared of flying.Bedknobs!What the hell does this have to do with the quiz? Boo! You are: The Bloody Baron -- Exactly how did you get those bloodstains all over you? How popular are you? 74% Will you be seen in future movies? False This Fun Quiz created by Amanda deLassus at BlogQuiz.Net

Check out Technology News updated every minute at NewsDump

What should you be for Halloween?

A Monkey

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How much longer until you die!!!

17 millenniums

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Wow, that's quite a life expectancy there... o_O

My personality x2, drinks, what I'll get on Halloween, a Quiz Heaven quiz dump in general

Here are a few Quiz Heaven quizzes:

BITCHY - MOODY

you need to grow up a little and get out of mood swings because - in case you didn't notice - that's never been fashionable!

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

Haha, that only describes me some of the time! :P

What's Your Personality?

Down to Earth: You're a very sweet person, and have many close friends. You keep up with people to make sure they are okay.

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

For a generator quiz, this is pretty accurate... I'm impressed!

what kind of drink are you?

sex on the beach: ummm humm

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How will you become famous?

Being burned alive and still living

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How will you die?

You jumped off the Empire State Building.

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What Will You Remember Most?

Seeing your dad try to drink from the ocean, then asking for the bottled water.

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What kind of sub are you?

chicken sub

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what sub are you?

Ham and Swiss sub

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Man, these results are making me hungry!

EMO.

You have been classified as emo. Please continue to the next line.

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Which band are you?

Avenged Sevenfold

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What is your sexy food nickname?

pudding

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Nickname generator!

Elmo

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What animal from FRIENDS are you?

the cat with the bell around its neck that Chandler wanted

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The 009 Quiz

:o) (-: we look cute together, haha

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Magenta

Well, there is nothing really to say... YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!!! I suggest some Band-Aids

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you're pretty cool

You're popular and pretty cool. You have a great life with your friends. People probably wouldn't know if you watch Star Wars or love school.

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Ack! It rhymes! Yikes! :P

What should your sweetie's pet name be?

Muffin-lips

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Ew, I hate that pet name. :P

GRAHAM CRACKERS WITH HONEY ON IT... MMMMMMMMMMMM, GOOD!

You will eat a graham cracker with honey on it next. It is simply delicious, but bad for you.

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

I do have ginseng honey, but no graham crackers. Oh well.

What is your black name?

Shaquelia

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what does your love's diary say about you

whoa, that chick is hot

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You are a woman!

You are a woman. If you are a man and you get this, you are quite girly... you girly man.

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What is your guy name? (if you're a girl)

Jacob

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What is your girl name?

Alexis

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what are you?

tomboy

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You're over him! And not in love!

You're over him, but still need some comfort from a guy. So go out there and get him!

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

The original grammar / typing for this quiz made my eyes BURN!

Who are you most like?

Kevin aka turtlepuff

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How will YOU die in Aless' next story?

DON'T JUMP OFF THAT CLIFF!

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sexy

If you got sexy, that means that you get a lot of boys. Lots of people like you.

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Comedy Central

You are Funny. That's it.

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What is your dog name?

Scooter

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You're most compatible with the 7 Time Women's Champion!

You want to go out there and prove what you're made of in the ring. You know when you've had enough of the physicality, but you don't stop. You keep pushing yourself until you're on top! You would have a great relationship with Trish Stratus!

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YOU WILL ASSASINATE TOM CRUISE

Ah. He was getting crappy anyways. plus, you can't forget his head's the size of the death star. Plus, you sure saved Oprah a lot of trouble.

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What is your website?

yahoo.com

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What is your Gay Superhero name?

Peanut Butter

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What color are you?

silver

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What fast food restaurant are you?

Taco Bell

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.............. (silence) you need a hamster

hi

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what kind of candy are you

Milky Way

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how old do you act

23

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Free pens, removal for hearing, new phones, shower curtains, and cucumber-melon hand sanitizer

Hmm. I got a free green pen in the mail from Royale LePage. It was as part of this homeowner offer... I'll just take the pen, haha. I went out to run a few errands, and having stuff removed painlessly is a very good thing... now I have my hearing back! Also, I had my glasses tightened and cleaned: continually adjusting my glasses / not being able to hear on the weekend would both be very bad things indeed! I got some shrimp noodles (although I'm having curry), and a new phone with Caller ID for my room - the existing one's Caller ID buttons have been mashed down for years, and it's starting not to sound very nice. :P

I also got some emergency gum since I didn't have any on me when I went out (needed fresh breath for the walk-in clinic visit :P), and a 240mL cucumber-melon hand sanitizer (expiring in April 2008) from London Drugs. Maybe now Eric M. won't complain as much about the Purell smell on Friday nights, haha. I was reading in 24 that you should have 66% alcohol in those things, and this new one only has 62% - not that I think it makes THAT much of a difference! Now that Eric H. is coming over, I'll get him to replace the shower curtain too. Good thing I didn't have to buy one of those, since Dawn's family got me one when I moved into this apartment! (I also paid my bills, heh) Now I have news / RM work to do... maybe a quiz post later!

Stupid random messages!

Okay, that's it! I've been getting too many random messages from stupid idiots lately on AIM. I think what it's time to do is set my preferences so that only people on my buddy list can IM me. As if last Friday's wasn't enough, with someone calling me very insulting / degrading things, I got something else just now. This person said that they know very well who I was (called me by my first name), yet refused to tell me who they were, and claimed that they were a fan of "E.D." - I have an idea what that is (what those letters normally stand for), but that's not my problem! Then they claimed that they updated "[my] special page"... BLOCK CITY! (for the record, nothing's been updated that I haven't done myself...)

Why can't I get normal random people for once?! I'd blame Corey for this, except for the fact that he's offline and probably sleeping or something. AIYOH! I'd get a new AIM name, but I dunno... the measure I've just taken should be enough for now. Honestly, is it so much for some people to understand that others DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED BY RANDOM PEOPLE?!

Scamming the Nigerian scammers / Moxie's plans and English help / CHOCOLATE COCONUT CRUNCH COOKIES

Corey showed me 419 Eater, which is a big collection of pictures of Nigerian scammers that were conned into taking stupid pictures of themselves, usually holding signs that say funny things.. or sometimes with fish and bread on their heads and other nonsense. They string the scammers along, and get them to do stupid stuff as signs of good faith, basically. There was one from this site somewhere where they replied: "No, that offer doesn't sound good, but I have a $50,000 grant to give out to artists. So if you know any, refer them to me." So of course the same scammer replies saying they're an artist, under a different email address and name, claiming to have found the offer on a website or something.

Then they proceed to get the scammer to actually create art and send it to them... then they used Photoshop to make everything look like it shrunk in the mail and doesn't meet size requirements anymore, and all kinds of ways to get them to make more. One of them made the guy a big wood carving of a Commodore 64 keyboard that cost a ton to ship. This one is good... they got a whole soccer team plus other people to hold up "Arse Bandit" signs. I should say that not all the pictures on the site are work-safe, so you've been warned! He's come across a few that are just pictures of envelopes addressed to themselves from Africa, with money inside :P So some of these people got the scammers to actually send THEM money! :P These are very bad people, so whatever people can get them to do are fine by me.. the people who are scamming them are called "scambaiters," and this particular one must be pretty damn good since there are a few people who have tattooed themselves with the scambaiter's screen name!

I talked to Steph for a bit earlier: I should really ask her (on Friday?) what she told Mom about certain Internet people, since Mom seems to think they're nice! (I wonder what would have happened if I'd thought of letting her talk to Candy on the phone in Mississauga at Melissa's, or if I'd let her meet Palmer last summer, haha) Then I talked to Jon, who isn't free this weekend since he's going to the Christian conference that he was telling Nathan and Christon about. He figures that Chinese Eric and I are going to hang out regardless, which is true. Speaking of Chinese Eric, he thinks that a Moxie's reservation for 7:30 on Saturday will be fine if he's at my place around 7... that should work with the post-Awana schedule, haha. He also has good news for me, which he won't tell me till then: "You can update the blog for me with it!" Fair enough, I suppose... he rendered "nodding head" (diantou) as "knotting head," which I corrected. I know he wants to learn how English works, after all. ;)


CHOCOLATE COCONUT CRUNCH COOKIES

Categories: Cookies
Yield: 4 dozen

2 cups Flour
1 teaspoon Baking soda
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1 cup Butter; unsalted, softened
3/4 cup Brown sugar
2 Eggs; lightly beaten
2 teaspoons Vanilla
1 teaspoon Almond extract
2 cups Coconut; shredded
12 oz Chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups Almonds; lightly salted, dry roasted, finely chopped


Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In a medium bowl... whisk together the flour, baking soda and salt. In a medium bowl with an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugars. Beat in the eggs, vanilla, and almond extract. Mix on low speed until blended. Add the flour mixture, and mix just until blended. Do not overmix. Add the coconut, chocolate chips, and almonds. Stir just until blended. Drop the dough by rounded tablespoon 2" apart onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes.

Mexican lollipops, fortune cookie games from Chinese bus tour, and "dessicate / defecate"

My sister bought a number of Hello Kitty bubblegum lollipops from Mexico while she was there, because my mom likes Hello Kitty for obvious reasons. (her name is Kitty) They come in three flavors: tropical punch, mango melon, and plátano fresa. (light green, pink, and yellow) We got Vivian to translate the Spanish on the packaging because her family is Spanish... good use of your friends' skills, haha.

On Saturday night at the Chinese restaurant, we got fortune cookies after the meal. When we were on our way out, I grabbed four clean fortunes with intentions to post them here. Dunno how well they go with the "...in bed" game, but here you go!

Your worries shall soon be dispelled.
Your fantasy will come true.
Important decisions must be made. Don't avoid making them.
Compassion is very much a part of you.

I guess the second one is the most funny, followed by the first / third / fourth. Hehehe, this is fun even if it's a bit immature.

Oh, and I forgot to say this: my sister encountered the word "desiccate" a lot in her university career, as in chemistry / forensics experiments where the class had to dessicate chemicals. She giggled every time she heard that, since it sounded like "defecate." (yes, our family is made up of 12-year-olds :P) On Friday, she was telling me / Jon / Jeremy / Eric / Vanessa that the amusement allowed her to survive her undergrad with sanity... yes, probably even the Saturday classes where everyone could have been SLEEPING from 9 to noon! (I should tell her that "desiccate" could also be used to describe someone, like "a desiccated wizened old man / lady")

Chili's Southwestern Vegetable Soup / SERENITY character

Chili's Southwestern Vegetable Soup

If you like a soup that's packed with veggies, that's low in fat, and has some of that Southwestern zing to it, this is the one for you. Just toss all the ingredients in a pot and simmer. Garnish with some shredded cheese and crumbled tortillas, and prepare to take the chill off.

6 cups chicken broth (Swanson is best)
1 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes, with juice
1 cup water
1 cup canned dark red kidney beans, with liquid
1 cup frozen yellow cut corn
1 cup frozen cut green beans
1 4-ounce can diced green chilies
1/2 cup diced Spanish onion
1/2 cup tomato sauce
6 corn tortillas, minced
1 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
dash garlic powder

Garnish
1 cup grated cheddar / Jack cheese blend
1 cup crumbled corn tortilla chips

1. Combine all the soup ingredients in a large saucepan or soup pot over high heat. Be sure to mince the corn tortillas into small pieces with a sharp knife before adding them to the soup.
2. Bring soup to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until the soup has thickened and tortilla pieces have mostly dissolved.
3. To serve the soup, ladle 1 1/2 cups into a bowl. Sprinkle a heaping tablespoon of the grated cheddar / Jack cheese blend over the top of the soup, and then a heaping tablespoon of crumbled corn tortilla chips over the cheese. Makes 6 servings.

You scored as Shepherd Derrial Book. The Preacher. Out here, folks need a minister, if only to remind them that God hasn't forgotten them. It isn't about making them worship, it is teaching them to do right by themselves and other people. Why is that so hard for some to understand? Shepherd Derrial Book 69% River Tam 63% Jayne Cobb 56% Simon Tam 56% Capt. Mal Reynolds 56% Zoe Alleyne Washburne 50% Inara Serra 44% The Operative 44% Kaylee (Kaywinnet Lee) Frye 44% Hoban 'Wash' Washburne 38% Which Serenity character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

HAHAHAHAHA. So bizarre! o_O

Hockey losses and Chinese Bus Tour pictures

Wow, my mom actually emailed me some pictures from the weekend! I guess she's slowly becoming more proficient at this email thing, although I bet my sister probably had to help her! Man, these pictures make me look like I need to invest in some lipstick... o_O

The Canucks lost 2-1 to Edmonton tonight, splitting that series. Oh well...


At the winery around Kelowna, with the wine bottle statue:




Swimming red salmon in the Adams River:




At the Adams River with the salmon in the background:




At the Paterson Restaurant, where my family ate after the tour was over:




With a bunch of dead white salmon in the river:




On the rocky beach at Adams River:




Rocks, the river, and more dead salmon:




More red spawning salmon:




Parents at Paterson Restaurant:




Overlooking the Kelowna valley and its expensive houses:




Here's a view of the mountains and the valley, sorta:




If Mom seems not to mind the wine bottle sticking out of her head, then who am I to say anything? :P




Mom and the rocks:




Nice lady, Mom, East Indian lady, and me:




The flowers at the winery:




The nice lady strangers on the tour (no way we'd have taken a picture with Bossy Lady!):




These cute little bears outside the gift shop at Adams River:

How popular is my last name in the US?

Sorta related to the last entry, and the one a couple of entries ago with information on my last name:

Go to The Sweetest Sound's Popularity Index and enter your last name to find out how common it is in the United States. Add your name and repost.

1. Haigler is the 11,108 most common name in the U.S.
2. Jackson is the 10th most common name in the U.S.
3. Hilley is the 11,948 most common name in the U.S.
3. Bates is the 277th most common name in the U.S.
4. Rich is the 616th most common name in the U.S.
5. Owen is the 480th most common name in the U.S
6. James is the 76th most common name in the U.S.
7. Leivick is not among the top 55,000 most common names in the U.S.
8. Odom is the 837th most common name in the U.S.
9. Baker is the 36th most common name in the U.S.
10. Spaulding is the 1752nd most common name in the U.S.
11. Thomas is the 11th most common name in the U.S.
12. Gilmore is the 574th most common name in the U.S.
13. Miller is 7th!! and West is 107th.
14. Walker is number 24 in the U.S.
15. Brown is 5... that is my maiden name. Hardee is surname number 5708 in the USA.
16. Bridges (maiden name) is 532 & Fishback (married name) is 16527
17. Lopez is surname number 39 in the USA.
18. My last name is 42,334 in the US! Woohoo! I've got the least popular last name on the list so far!
19. My maiden name (Washington) is number 109 in the USA. My (ex) married name (Lang) is number 471 in the USA.
20. Allen is 28th.
21. Callahan is 578th.
22. Carpenter is 204.
23. Johnson is 2nd.
24. Hunt is the 156th most common in the U.S.
25. Gooch is the 3,187th most common last name in the USA.
26. Daniel is the 375th most common last name, and my maiden name Nix is the 1368th most common in the USA.
27. Stonecipher is 14,885 in the U.S.
28. Smith is number 1... everyone knows this.
29. Datri does not exist in our database..... HAHAHA!
30. Maiden Name.. Datri.. Does not exist!
Married Name.. Harvick.. is surname number 44875 in the USA.
31. Married name Wilemon is surname number 27423 in the USA.
Maiden name Stevens is surname number 110 in the USA.
32. Surname is number 26437 in the USA...
32. Birth surname Glenn is number 535 in the USA and Married name Lord is number 1343 in the USA
33. Birth name is Peterson which is #63, and married name Schaber is #29,557.
34. Wright is surname number 31 in the USA.
35. Birth name Canto..... number 19,487; Maiden name Wright...... number 31; Married name Montford..... number 16,643
35. STANFORD IS SURNAME NUMBER 1485
36. Kelly is 67... Kearnes is 29125
37. Houtman, as a surname, does not exist in this database, because it is not among the top 55,000 most common names in the US. **I have the LEAST common so far**
38. McGillivray, as a surname, does not exist in this database, because it is not among the top 55,000 most common names in the US. **Crystal, that is Mike's last name... he's right there with you!** and mine...
39. Stewart is surname number 51 in the USA
40. Grennan is surname number 31,669 in the USA
41. Berley is surname number 47,113 in the USA.
42. Kariya, as a surname, does not exist in this database, because it is not among the top 55,000 most common names in the US.
43. Janssen is surname number 3669 in the USA.
44. Briggs is surname number 105 in the USA.
45. Ye is surname number 13194 in the USA.
46. Ho is surname number 1308 in the USA.
47. Ng is surname number 1467 in the USA.

Dancing veggies, Chinglish, how many of me are in the USA

This is my newest icon:

It used to have uncomfortable memories associated with it, but I'll take it (from someone in LFA) since that's not the case any more!

Here are some examples of those Chinglish signs I mentioned yesterday. SO HILARIOUS!

Hey, this works again! Better do it while it still does...

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 19 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

There are also listings for famous names, which proved to be interesting!

Deserving Moxie's, NFL blogquiz, Chili's Southwestern Egg Rolls

Note: LJ Fellowship of the Travellers blogquiz, by offbeat_musician.


I'm talking to Eric H. right now, who wants to hang out with me (and maybe my brother) on Saturday night: seems doable for me, but I'm not sure about Jon!. He says I deserve Moxie's since I worked so hard on his new journal layout... yes! :D (he didn't say what he thought of it when I asked him, but maybe it's because of stupid MSN losing messages all the time!)

Sleepy now... bedtime for me.

Which NFL team are you? Name: Age: Shoe size: Touchdown! You are: Baltimore Ravens How popular are you in the NFL fandom? 38% Will you make it to the Super Bowl? False This Fun Quiz created by Amanda deLassus at BlogQuiz.Net

Cancer Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

Chili's Southwestern Egg Rolls

Many people have hopped on the cloning bandwagon for this recipe. Unfortunately, the "clone" recipes that are floating around out there for this dish are pretty lame. So into the TSR test kitchen we go, and out comes the closest thing you'll ever savor next to actually eating the real thing. These "egg rolls" are made with flour tortillas, stuffed with a spicy blend of corn, green onions, black beans, spinach, jalapeno peppers, Monterey Jack cheese and spices. When you add the creamy avocado ranch dipping sauce, your tastebuds will begin to party. Make these several hours before you plan to serve them so that they can freeze solid before frying. This will help to make the outside a dark golden brown, and the eggrolls will stay folded without letting any oil seep into the filling. This is how they cook 'em at the restaurant chain.

1 chicken breast fillet
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 tablespoons minced red bell pepper
2 tablespoons minced green onion
1/3 cup frozen corn
1/4 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons frozen spinach, thawed and drained
2 tablespoons diced, canned jalapeno peppers
1/2 tablespoon minced fresh parsley
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
dash cayenne pepper
3/4 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
five 7-inch flour tortillas

Avocado-ranch dipping sauce
1/4 cup smashed, fresh avocado (about half of an avocado)
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon buttermilk
1 1/2 teaspoon white vinegar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon dried parsley

1/8 teaspoon onion powder
dash dried dill weed
dash garlic powder
dash pepper

Garnish
2 tablespoons chopped tomato
1 tablespoon chopped onion

1. Preheat barbecue grill to high heat.

2. Rub the chicken breast with some vegetable oil, then grill it on the barbecue for 4 to 5 minutes per side or until done. Lightly salt and pepper each side of the chicken while it cooks. Set chicken aside until it cools down enough to handle.

3. Preheat 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil in a medium-size skillet over medium-high heat.

4. Add the red pepper and onion to the pan and sauté for a couple of minutes until tender.

5. Dice the cooked chicken into small cubes and add it to the pan. Add the corn, black beans, spinach, jalapeno peppers, parsley, cumin, chili powder, salt, and cayenne pepper to the pan. Cook for another 4 minutes. Stir well so that the spinach separates and is incorporated into the mixture.

6. Remove the pan from the heat and add the cheese. Stir until the cheese is melted.

7. Wrap the tortillas in a moist cloth and microwave on high temperature for 1 1/2 minutes or until hot.

8. Spoon approximately one-fifth of the mixture into the center of a tortilla. Fold in the ends and then roll the tortilla over the mixture. Roll the tortilla very tight, then pierce with a toothpick to hold together. Repeat with the remaining ingredients until you have five eggrolls. Arrange the eggrolls on a plate, cover the plate with plastic wrap and freeze for at least 4 hours. Overnight is best.

9. While the eggrolls freeze, prepare the avocado-ranch dipping sauce by combining all of the ingredients in a small bowl.

10. Preheat 4-6 cups of oil to 375 degrees.

11. Deep fry the eggrolls in the hot oil for 12-15 minutes and remove to paper towels or a rack to drain for about 2 minutes.

12. Slice each eggroll diagonally lengthwise and arrange on a plate around a small bowl of the dipping sauce. Garnish the dipping sauce with the chopped tomato and onion. Serves 3-4.

Winning against Edmonton, what my last name means, Disney princesses

Finally finished catching up! I don't want to know how long it would have taken if certain communities still appeared on my friends pages!

The Canucks won 2-1 against Edmonton in the first game of the home-at-home series... next game tomorrow!

Information on what my last name means, plus lots of other name tidbits!

Ng

1. Chinese : Variant of Wu 1.
2. Chinese : Variant of Wu 4.

Wu

1. Chinese : From the name of the ancient state of Wu in what is now Jiangsu province. In the 13th century BC, the state of Zhou was ruled by Tai Wang, who had three sons: Tai Bo, Zhong Yong, and Ji Li. The eldest sons, Tai Bo and Zhong Yong, believing that their father wished the youngest son, Ji Li, to inherit the reins of power, left the Zhou homeland with a group of followers and traveled southeastward to east-central China, where they established the state of Wu. Their descendants eventually adopted Wu as their surname. Ji Li stayed on to rule the Zhou and became the father of the famed virtuous duke Wu Wang, to whom those named Zhou (see Chow) trace their ancestry. Thus, the surnames Wu and Zhou are traced to the same ancestor, Tai Wang.
2. Chinese : Cantonese variant of Hu.
3. Chinese : From the name of Ji Wu, a son of Ping Wang (770–719 BC), the first king of the Eastern Zhou dynasty. His descendants adopted the given name Wu as their surname.
4. Chinese : From the name of Wu Can, an official of the state of Chu during the Spring and Autumn period (722–481 BC). At one time, the states of Chu and Jin were at war. The general of Chu viewed the strong position of the Jin and recommended retreat. However, a minor official, Wu Can, performed an analysis of the situation which concluded that an attack would be better. The prince of Chu agreed with Wu Can, which resulted in a victory over the Jin. Wu Can then became a senior official and used part of his given name, Wu, as his new surname.
5. Chinese : From the name of Wu Peng, doctor of the legendary emperor Huang Di (2697–2595 BC).



You Are Cinderella!

Dignified and hard-working, with a gentle and soft-spoken manner. You have something many people don't: Patience. Even through the moments of heartbreak, you're still able to hold onto all of your hopes and dreams. Bide your time; your dream will come true.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Engrish, a non-lame email for once, sloth, greed, sexy bras

This is what my mom says about brewing the ginseng tea: "I don't know whether the box that I gave you have instruction of brewing the tea. You can brew 3-4 times for each bag and you should open the package and eat the content afterwards." No, I have not altered her English. As it happens, there are English instructions on the box, telling people to brew for at least two minutes in boiled water. Speaking of her malformed English, she told me before the trip that she was going to give me a large word search book. What she REALLY meant was a large PRINT word search book. .... good use of English there, Mom... o_O

Karen sent us stuff on Spiritual Formation... and here's a first (or first in a long time): The email actually isn't LAME! Very sweet and awesome! She included a bunch of verses for us to meditate on, but maybe not just now for me. I need to SLEEP!

Steph sent me a link to a news story with lots of Engrish!

Beijing stamps out poor English

Occasionally, a sign makes sense
China has launched a fresh drive to clamp down on bad English in the run-up to the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Previous attempts to wipe out Chinglish - the mistranslated phrases often seen on Chinese street signs and product labels - have met with little success.

Emergency exits at Beijing airport read "No entry on peacetime" and the Ethnic Minorities Park is named "Racist Park."

Beijing city authorities will issue new translation guides by the end of the year, Xinhua news agency said.

Running joke

The booklets would be handed out to hotels and shopping malls, on public transport, and at tourist attractions.

Chinglish has become a running joke among many foreigners in China, and several websites have been set up listing humorous examples of mistranslation.

A road sign on Beijing's Avenue of Eternal Peace warns of a dangerous pavement with the words: "To Take Notice of Safe; The Slippery are Very Crafty."

Menus frequently list items such as "Corrugated iron beef," "Government abuse chicken," and "Chop the strange fish."

The mistranslations arise because many Chinese words express concepts obliquely and can be interpreted in multiple ways, making translation a minefield for non-English speakers.

The municipal government in Beijing first tried to stamp out the problem just a month after being awarded the 2008 Olympics back in 2001.

A year later, the Beijing Tourism Bureau set up a hotline for visitors and residents to tip off examples of bad English, and said results would be reviewed by a panel of English professors and expatriates.

What are the more memorable examples of Chinglish that you have seen? Send us your mistranslated phrases using the form below. If you have any pictures of signs featuring Chinglish, you can send them to yourpics@bbc.co.uk.

Your comments:

A lot of common errors were transposing errors, for example: First Aid Centre was Fivst Aicl Centrt. Another sign read: Help potect the cultural relecs, help protect the railings.
Mark Quan, Toronto, Ontario

I have two favourites from spending many years working in China. At the Terracotta Warriors Museum in Xi'an, a sign said "Cherishing Flowers and Trees" which meant "keep off the grass." The other on a cruise on the Yangtse River: "Don't Bother" instead of "Do not Disturb" on the cabin doors. There were many others, but these always made me smile.
Lee Tomkow, Santa Barbara, California

Whilst living in Beijing about a year ago, I came across a park in a residential area in the Shunyi district which (although intended for use as a 'dog park') was translated to 'Dog-Bark Park.' Not to mention an apartment building which, for some bizarre reason beyond my knowledge, was named "An Australian Lady and Her Lifestyle."
James, Spring, TX, USA

At the Simatai section of the Great Wall of China, there is a sign that reads: "People and flowers, plants help each other in breath, if you pick the flowers they will die, and you will reduce your life too." A lovely message somehow gone somewhat wrong.
Ollie Boothroyd, Windsor, UK

"Site of jumping umbrella" (paragliding site)
Michael Pye, Cambridge, UK

"No striding." On a menu: "The oil explodes the shrimp," "Pleasant aftertaste." On a sign: "Keep fire in safe hands, we live in a safe world."
Emily, Bremerton, WA, USA

My favourite is: "Please take advantage of the chambermaids" on a hotel brochure.
Andrei Pogonaru, Bucharest, Romania

At one of the bigger train stations (and I'm kicking myself right now because I can't remember which one!) there is a huge, and I mean huge, sign which states simply "Question Authority." Remember, this is an incredibly heavily controlled officially Communist state. The sign is merely pointing to the help desk.
Peter Douglas, Edinburgh

The taps in my hotel room in Beijing had a fancy engraved sign: "No Drinking Without Dealing" - I suspect they meant "boiling." There are so many examples, but my favourite may have been at the Ming Tombs "Environmental Sanitation of the Scenic Spot Needs Your Conserve" - indeed it does.
David Graves, Seattle, USA

Forbidden: Prostitution, gambling, and drag abuse!
Lou, Beijing, China

I have stayed in Shanghai many times for work. The new subway at Jing An Temple was proudly opened early for tourist trips. All the east exits said "East Exit." All the west exits said "Wast Exit." The next trip back, the offending words were covered with duct tape.
James Phethean, Helston UK

When I was living in Beijing in 2000, I saw a sign in front of a rock garden in the Forbidden City that warned tourists "Please do not climb the rocketry."
Craig, California

Airline Pulp - The only English description on a snack package handed out with drinks on Southern China Airways.
Andrew Hobbs, Henley on Thames, UK

While working in Taiyuan, north of Beijing, we had the pleasure of visiting a local tourist attraction, one of the signs that had us chuckling was, "do not overtransgress" which is a good guideline, but I don't think you would find a similar sign in an English-speaking nation.
Vincent vandenHeuvel, Strathroy, Canada

On a menu: worm pig stomach. No thanks, I had it for breakfast, honest.
Janet, Edinburgh

While staying in a hotel in China, I noticed that in with the free (complimentary) bath stuff was a number of items for sale including a pair of boxer shorts labelled "Uncomplimentary Pants"!!
Stephen Mowll, Poole, Dorset, UK

From a recent trip to China to teach English, my favourite example of a mistranslated phrase belonged to a chocolate snack cake whose slogan promised: "This tastiness cannot be carried, even with both hands."
Alia, Austin, USA

A sign in the Shanghai metro read: "After first under on, do riding with civility."
Zachary Scott, Chicago, United States


Here are some quizzes that I've encountered in my attempts to catch up. However, I think it's now time to take Eric's advice of a couple weeks ago (at the "lemon butt chicken" Sunday dinner) and sleep rather than blog on endlessly about my day. (I almost typed "dad"... while I could think of more than a few things to blog about concerning my father, I don't want to do that NOW!)

Your Sloth Quotient: 60%

You're definitely lazier than the average person, but you're able to live a somewhat normal life. All your life needs is a little more effort and variety, and you might see that doing hard things is actually fun!

How Much Sloth Do You Have?

Your Greed Quotient: 40%

You're a little greedy, but generally you don't let your desire get the better of you. You know that good things will come to you - as long as you wait your turn!

How Much Greed Do You Have?

Your Sexy Bra Is

EMBROIDERED LACE BALCONETTE LIQUID BRA

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Valleys, wine, and people who need more patience / tact

Note: LJ first quiz / LJ From First to Last / my LJ life as a black metal song / LJ SOS-Dan blogquizzes. (by Justice, Kaylanna, and Joel)


This morning after my weird sleep, we had breakfast with some of our crew. The East Indian lady accidentally spilled orange juice on me and apologized: hey, I understand it was an accident... at least it wasn't hot coffee, so it was fine! (speaking of East Indians, I should call Nina one of these days... maybe later!) We left shortly after 9, and I'm positively sure THAT pissed off the bossy lady! After driving for a short distance, we stopped to look out over the valley and lake. There were relatively cheap houses there compared to Vancouver, but even a big property will cost you a million dollars around Kamloops. Still, it's better than the same thing costing you $17 million over here! The view was pretty beautiful, and we took a bunch of pictures.

After that, we stopped at a farm market which seemed to operate on the honor system according to a notice posted out front. There were lots of boxes with various fruits in them: prune plums (NOT a typo!), spaghetti / butternut squashes, some apple varieties, pears, and more. A Halloween display of pumpkins was featured, too. Bossy Lady tried to get a discount on the already-cheap fruit... dude, you're just worsening the "cheap Asians" stereotype! If I see an opportunity for a deal on something I want, then I'll go for it... but I won't haggle on the stated price unless it's clearly defective or something! She also wanted to visit the orchards and do a U-Pick thing: the owner had to tell her that he couldn't do that with a group, which I'm sure left her less than impressed!

Then it was off to the winery: I'm sure Bossy Lady loved the organic chocolate bars and the organic grape soap that you could buy from there since she was also going on about the virtues of organic stuff! The gift shop was cool, but also expensive! Interesting bottle openers, though... especially for the ice wine! We had a free wine-tasting lesson, in which she REALLY shone. The wine person was trying to tell us about the differences between regular and ice wine, how to smell the wine and test it first before drinking. Bossy Lady wanted to drink the wine samples right after he poured some for everyone! This happened with the white wine, and the red and white ice wines... he had to tell her three times to BE PATIENT! (sure, she already said she hates waiting for people - she made an exception for her husband since she liked him... but seriously!)

The ice wine bottles are very skinny and also very expensive... the white costs $68, and the red costs $108. Since the red grapes are more noticeable even when frozen in winter, the animals can eat them more readily. So while it might take four pounds of grapes to make your average bottle of wine, it might take 30-50 pounds of grapes to make the (red) ice wine! After that demonstration, we stayed for a while longer. There was a statue of some wine being poured into a glass, so I wanted a picture with it. I hope it doesn't look like the bottle's coming out of my head, as it did for the picture I took of my mom! (I warned her about it, but she didn't care)

We went to Kelowna and had lunch: I saw a nun at the KFC in the strip mall where we ate! Then I bought small purchases at the dollar store there... a blank card for Corey so I could explain all this stuff from the trip, three postcards (one for Corey since I seriously doubt that Jeremy needs one of his hometown), and two bubble wrap envelopes. When we passed a church in Kelowna, I wondered whether Jeremy's parents were in there at that exact moment! Speaking of such, Bossy Lady seemed surprised at all the cars going up the hill towards town, and offered her opinions on that. We told her that it was most likely caused by people going to and from church... like, DUH?!

At some point, we went on a floating bridge. The conversation turned to Islam, terrorism, and (funnily enough) Princess Margaret. Bossy Lady is very opinionated, and figured that the reason Margaret's marriage broke up was because of her bad habits of smoking and drinking a LOT! While I'm sure that sometimes that can be a factor, I hardly think it was the only cause! Then someone brought up rumors that her ex-husband and Prince Philip were both gay... of course, she wasn't surprised to hear this. She said that Rock Hudson died of AIDS, which was a waste because he was so good-looking! "Then again, gay men are always very good-looking... but why did he get married and have kids?!" Uh, people do that to cover up the truth or because they're in denial! This was also where she brought up her theory that gay men were like that because they had "too much woman hormone"... o_O

After that, we headed for home. The tour guide showed us a photo of his son with a friend: he looked like a younger version of Sean, haha! At one of the rest stops (a Tim Horton's), Bossy Lady got restless and wanted to see what was taking so long with people lined up for the washroom. So she wandered back into the place, and asked us about it. Er, it's not our fault that the Tim Ho's only has a single washroom per gender! (plus a handicapped one which we were loath to go into) Speaking of washrooms, the one at the Chinese restaurant last night was the typical bad Chinese restaurant bathroom: one stall was out of order, one stall kinda-sorta worked (Bossy Lady's sister used that one), and the one working stall had water ALL OVER the floor! A drop here or there? Water from stuff being clearly mopped up? Well, okay... but this was a PUDDLE of water which of course ended up being tracked all over the washroom! Gross stuff!

People were dropped off at their houses or at Skytrain stations: when the East Indian lady was dropped off and the tour guide was helping her carry the boxes of wine and fruit into her place, Bossy Lady made a remark about how it wasn't traditional for someone from that culture to live away from the parents. (in this "she shouldn't be doing that!" tone... I wonder what she would have said if I told her that I did the exact same thing!) Then she tried inviting us to dinner with her: FREAKY RAINY WEATHER AND A LONG DAY?! NO! Mom and I met Dad and Steph for dinner at a Richmond Chinese restaurant the tour guide recommended... the trip was okay, but I didn't really have much in common with the people. Eh well... another one for the books, heh. Wonder how long it'll take me to catch up with everything.... (I heard Jon thought that I might be coming tonight anyhow: I sent him an email saying I wouldn't because I'd be tired from the trip and stuff! Weirdo!)

Also, I managed to get certain feelings out elsewhere. That's always a good thing! :D

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