Saturday, April 28, 2007

March-April 2007 Bubble Tea Tally / Classic 90s Song

MONTHLY BUBBLE TEA TALLY, MARCH 2007 (2)

raspberry-mango @ Dragon Ball (Friday, Mar. 2)
blueberry-pudding @ Dragon Ball (Friday, Mar. 23) [Eric paid for it since he owed me money from Pho, AND gave me his change too!]


MONTHLY BUBBLE TEA TALLY, APRIL 2007 (1)

honeydew @ Tazza (Thursday, Apr. 26)




You scored as Portishead, Roads. When you heard this song for the first time, and come to think of it... the third, fourth, and basically every other time... all your pain came swelling up inside you, and there was so much that it started seeping out of your eyes. Oh, or you might just be an emo kid. If so, you'd better find this song. It'll break you into pieces.

Portishead, Roads

65%

Verve Pipe, The Freshman

55%

Hanson, Mmmbop

45%

Radiohead, Creep

40%

No Doubt, Don't Speak

35%

The Pixies, Where Is My Mind?

25%

Which Classic 90s Song Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Smoking dreams / Holes and bowels, oh my!

What the heck is wrong with my subconscious? I dreamed that I was outside Nathan's in the light snow / sunny weather, and he let me in. His basement room had been converted to a long elegant golden carpeted smoking room since his mom's death, and I recognized Margaret L. in there talking to a bunch of our other friends. She was smoking, and I saw Stella come out of there with a Bible and a half-smoked cigarette. Then Angus, Harmony, and other people came over and went into the other long elegant room on the other side of the foyer to talk and play games until they decided to have a smoke too. NONE OF MY FRIENDS SMOKE ANYTHING, EXCEPT JEN AND JEREMY! (and they didn't even make an appearance in the dream!)

Then the dream shifted to a cramped house in which my family lived. (in the dream only) My mom was doing things with cards and cheques for herself and Dave's mom, while Grandma was walking around under the clock in white satin pajamas. She tried getting me to clear the dishes in the sink, as well as the numerous chicken bones around the sink area. No go, because my sister and I were far more interested in the drama occurring between our parents at the time... and we were also doing sports-related word searches! (which my dad called "crosswords," confusingly enough) Auntie Grace's card had nice calligraphy script on it, saying how much people appreciated her, and there was also a nice cheque inside. Dad was trying to get her to go to the bank because it was 9:20 PM and the bank would close soon, but Mom kept delaying the process. Finally, he just became really cranky and impatient with her. The dream ended with his yelling at us on his way out to do the chores we were assigned. Ha ha ha, I guess my struggle to be awake showed HIM! :P


I called my sister a while ago, hoping to get my brother: he'll be done teaching at 3:30 (when I'll be on the road to Awana!), then do something before he goes with Christine to get ready for their concert. Would have asked him about it yesterday, but then Harmony called - we were much too absorbed in the overtime, anyhow. Maybe I'll call him once I get to church... we'll see what happens then! Not much to say about blogs this week: suffice to say that Spoz and Randal blogged about their usual stuff. (photos and ramblings rule, dude!) "Craptastic" also has a bad meaning, so don't tell me to have a craptastic day.. that would make for a weird signature, though! Let's just say that I now find certain Biblical translations and images of God walking with people to be hilarious for reasons you don't need to know about! (but if you know me well enough, you'll probably figure out why - if not, then never mind!) Never mind eating roast beef because it was there (he said it wasn't very good anyway!), or picking up snakes... holes and bowels are where the true amusement lies for me this early afternoon - oh my! I sense an MSN name change coming on! ;)

Dawn's been busy looking forward to the weekend, and browsing Wikipedia - that site is awesome! Alyssa's moved her blog AGAIN for the 32443th time (lasagna / comments / concerts!), and Dave's been teaching "gifted" (read: Asian) kids about science stuff. Sounds interesting! Vivian's just been doing stuff related to the end of practicum (draft reports?), and has a student failure analogy related to the Canucks' 5-1 loss to the Ducks. FOLLOW THROUGH, PEOPLE!

P.S. Eric's just reminded me that the bowels is the term they used for when your heart is moved. Ah yes, the bowels as the seat for your emotions - silly misconceptions. :D

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If it's the end, it's not ending my politeness! / ORANGE JULIUS

After talking to the two Erics earlier this afternoon / evening, I had some dinner while playing about in space. Then I left, since I was running late... Eric HAD to call me "Garbage Lady" because I was taking out some trash on my way out. Uh, I might as well do it then and not tomorrow! He teased me about how I never answer the phone - yeah, I guess I should have it available more often, but it doesn't mean I'll answer it just because I'm online! (this came up later when I was talking to Andrea about Sunday's luncheon - screening calls when your ride's looking for you?!) While I was saying some crazy things, I told him that I'd forgotten my water. Darn the bottle being in the fridge all the time since I like it cold, haha! This indirectly resulted in his asking later on during Bible Study if I wanted some water - strong tea for me in a different cup than the dregs of the hot chocolate, please! It's nice when friends look out for each other like that. :D

I misheard his saying "is the Memorial Cup a good thing for Ron Toigo?" (owner of the Vancouver Giants) as "your sister's a playgirl!", so I had to scold him about that... no matter what else he may think about my sister, he'd better not think THAT! He's right about my mind apparently being in some crazy places, though! Not sure where that came from, and I don't think I'd want to know either! But no (borrowed) plots or plans here, that much is for certain! There was almost NOBODY at the church when we arrived, so I wondered what my sister had said to him about what THEY were doing - we found out later that it was Bible Study Group outing night. She should have told me that yesterday when I said I'd see her tonight, but no big deal. We saw Randal when we parked, but he couldn't hear Eric yelling his name out the window - haha, good times!

Got to church and talked to Jen for a bit - she wondered where Jeremy was, but I didn't know. She figures Banana Leaf on Broadway will be a good spot for her party if she books their private room soon! (Dawn and others will be on the guest list, yay!) Eric said he could come (ride option!), and Vivian could be there if she has the car. (she thinks the cruise will be interesting, if nothing else!) Karen liked Eric's and my sports spirit - of course we have it! Talked to Andrea about Sunday's luncheon: I help with the kids and don't really teach them anything officially, but I might as well learn about new initiatives while eating Chinese food! (for some reason, Randal's in it too...) Don't know that I've been doing it for "many years" (as she put it), but then there WERE the nursery years too before the toddler room years - at least since 2002 or so. (I remember the September 2003 events very clearly - the kids helped me get over THOSE things, haha!) Briefly talked to Kevin about hockey, and to Randal about the same subject with a different twist: dude, just look at what Eric and I are wearing, and you'll KNOW which team we support tonight! ;)

Karen C. had a flowery speech about Andrea and Jen - celebrating Fellowship birthdays, and Dylan said something about Martin, too! Lesley and she were almost too much in concert, but it's how they are... I must have patience, love, and compassion. This is indeed a struggle, heh. I like a certain person just fine, but I wish he wouldn't ask me to read a certain passage when I'm obviously still in the delayed process of looking for it in my Bible! Luckily, Andrea had hers at the ready - it would have taken me some more time to look for it in mine, bleh. Sure, he'd have given me time to look for it, but I dunno - I wasn't even writing things down at the time, so I have no excuse but my own very delayed reaction! Oh well... it wasn't a matter of a page or two, but of entire books! It didn't help that my "reading voice" was NOT in fine form tonight - my voice was fine for talking to friends (and yelling at them), but not reading. BLEH! I know it's not about THAT, but still it bugged me!

I convinced Eric to have a strawberry (I had two - including a HUGE one! - while Eric noticed Dylan was looking for one and gave him the last) from the plate of four I carried over to our table, and decided to save the buckwheat petal bar for tomorrow when I discuss things with my Awana small group. (still well within expiry date windows - Jon should eat his soon!) After Bible Study, I talked to the "different woman" Teresa for a bit, who lives at Clark and 7th - she learns about computers and such during the week, which is cool. She also has the Internet at her apartment, so she can check her email and stuff - very nice! When Jon called Eric to inform him that he was at Dragon Ball with a bunch of people (including Vivian's sister Karen), she asked me why my brother has the same first and last name as her brother! I don't know, man. Then again, she was asking me what Chung / Martin / Raymond's last names were - ask them yourself! (which she did with Stanley when his family got there to clean the church - I told him that it was her "thing" to ask everyone that) She asked me whether I'd grown up with "the two white guys"... not quite! Stanley told me and Vivian about this cool PS3 game he'd discovered: you go around eating fish, but then other fish can also eat you... reminds me of Odell Lake in a way.Then he told us about the horrible DOOM movie.. not sure I want to watch it, then!

Eric went upstairs to watch the game on TV, since Nathan said it was in overtime with the score tied 1-1. I stayed behind to hopefully discuss things with Randal - FOUR WEEKS TILL THE 24 FINALE! Talked about the Dallas hockey game on Monday, too - SO GOOD WITH THE GOALS! (then again, he didn't know about the playoffs [how is such a thing possible?!] until Game 7 - the last bandwagon jumper, indeed!) Mentioned "things which Eric can eat" and Monday's dilemma in passing - chicken is good for him! Eventually, he left and I went upstairs to watch the game with Eric. He pulled out chairs for us as we watched the last few minutes of the first overtime together - not sure WHAT some hockey plays were all about, but those players WERE getting tired! I think I did a good job at being more polite - Step 1 in becoming a better person, haha. ("thank you" for dropping me off at HOME, "thank you" TWICE for the tea, and a non-demand for Frances to pass me a napkin and a plate?! WHEE!)

Talked for a bit with Vivian and Dylan about his 1985 car which belches smoke all the time - not good! Stanley asked us some questions which sounded as if he wanted to kick us out: not much we could have done since we were waiting for people! Eric heard Jon from outside (after calling him when they were at Commercial and 12th) On the way home, we discussed bad gas prices / Dallas and Sheena's last day of exams today / possibly going to Nathan's / Jeremy's roommate Darryl getting married tomorrow (so THAT's where the white drummer was tonight!) / Regent friend's birthday barbecues (not at Pho, but that would be a good idea) / death threats / hockey. Then Harmony called, so I said "Say hi to the Double H!" which led to Eric calling her "the Ho." (according to Jon, she laughed at that!) While they were discussing James Houston, Hos we knew in Richmond / Vancouver (Phyllis - Eric - Tim), and culture, we listened to the game - IT WAS SO GOOD when Jeff Cowan scored at 7:49 in double overtime from Linden! Impossible shot angles rule, haha. Eric and I noted that it was almost 2 AM for Harmony when Jon said that she was tired - LET HER SLEEP, MAN! Good thing the Canucks scored when they did since I was afraid of possibly missing something when I walked from the car to my apartment - yay! Now since nobody's really online to talk with, I think I'll take a stab at this "going to bed early" thing after I moderate / check stuff. (I have a feeling I'll be checking stuff all day on the 11th if Jon drops me off at home first after the cruise, even though I'll want to sleep!)


ORANGE JULIUS

Recipe By:
Serving Size: 2 Preparation Time: 0:00
Categories: Beverages

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method

1 cup Milk
1 cup Orange juice
1 x Sugar to taste
1 x Egg is optional

Mix ingredients in a blender & blend until frothy, or until it looks good to you.


You Are Destined to Struggle With Your Weight

Like most people, you find it a little difficult to stay at a weight you're comfortable with.
If you change a few habits and make food less important, you may find the struggle hardly exists anymore.



You Are 48% Jealous

You're a fairly jealous person, but it's nothing to beat yourself up about.
A little jealousy is perfectly normal, though sometimes you take it a little far.
Recognize when jealousy is taking over your life, and try to hold back your impulses.
You'll be a better (and happier) person for it!



Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart.

You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone.

Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satisfied. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, April 27, 2007

Death Comes Ripping

I just realized that the Awana Family Outing will be the day after I get back from the cruise. It'll remain to be seen whether I can get back into the swing of a busy weekend after running a cumulative sleep deficit for six days prior, but playing with the kids in the park shouldn't be TOO bad! (as long as Zoe's mom doesn't go on about "dog s**t" in front of the kids like she did one year... and as long as it doesn't rain during the day, although it was sunny last year!) At least the long weekend is the week after, so I can recuperate then and not have to get up early like the last time we had a break! (but it was all good because of a wedding and time spent with my favorite people, haha)

Cousin Couples... I know it was kinda common at least a century or more ago, but now? Oh my. o_O


Shuffle survey, from Mandy via Myspace bulletin:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!!
I'll use Corey's DVD for this, haha.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? the Ramones, Beat On The Brat

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Nine Inch Nails, Down In It

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY / GIRL? the Subhumans, Mickey Mouse Is Dead

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? X-Ray Spex, Obsessed With You (I am not obsessed with anyone at the moment... can't speak for my mother, though!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Lords of Acid, Let's Get High (not really!)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Metallica, The Mechanix

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Type O Negative, We Hate Everyone

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Death Piggy, Poet

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Sloppy Seconds, Someone Else's Pill (no!)

WHAT IS 2+2? Thrill Kill Kult, Sexplosion

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? the Ramones, Do You Remember Rock 'N' Roll

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? White Zombie, I Am Legend

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? the Misfits, We Are 138

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? AFI, The Lost Souls

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Children of Bodom, Children of Decadence (I don't THINK so...)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? GWAR, SFW

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? GWAR, Gor-Gor

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY / INTEREST? Rancid, Nihilism (definitely not!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Ministry, Breathe (yeah right!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Type O Negative, Set Me On Fire

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Siouxsie and the Banshees, Carousel

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST? Ministry, Death Comes Ripping

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Olive Garden Pasta e Fagioli

My dungeon and space adventure are now screwed up. Nothing in there? That's NOT RIGHT! This doesn't seem to be the case with other people's dungeons or space adventures, which is good for my explorations!


Olive Garden Pasta e Fagioli

It's amazing how many lousy clones for this delicious chili-like soup from Olive Garden are floating around on the Web. Some are shared on message boards, others are displayed on sites in a collection of "actual restaurant recipes." (yeah, right!) But they all leave out obvious ingredients you can see, like the carrots, ground beef, or two kinds of beans. Others don't get the pasta right -- it's obviously ditali pasta (short little tubes). Then there's the recipe that really squeezed the seeds from my gourd -- one that's floating around in MasterCook format that lists "Top Secret Recipes" as the source. But, wait a minute! I've never before created a clone for this dish -- not here on the site, and not in any book. So, after logging some time over a chopping block, an open flame, and a couple tasty glasses of Merlot, out popped this puppy. And this is the one, kitchen cloners! If you want the taste of Pasta e Fagioli at home, this is the only recipe that will fool in a side-by-side taste test. Accept no other imitation imitations!

1 pound ground beef
1 small onion, diced (1 cup)
1 large carrot, julienned (1 cup)
3 stalks celery, chopped (1 cup)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 14.5-ounce cans diced tomatoes
1 15-ounce can red kidney beans (with liquid)
1 15-ounce can great northern beans (with liquid)
1 15-ounce can tomato sauce
1 12-ounce can V-8 juice
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 pound (1/2 package) ditali pasta

1. Brown the ground beef in a large saucepan or pot over medium heat. Drain off most of the fat.
2. Add onion, carrot, celery, and garlic. Sauté for 10 minutes.
3. Add remaining ingredients, except pasta, and simmer for 1 hour.
4. About 50 minutes into simmer time, cook the pasta in 1 1/2 to 2 quarts of boiling water over high heat. Cook for 10 minutes or just until pasta is al dente, or slightly tough. Drain.
5. Add the pasta to the large pot of soup. Simmer for 5-10 minutes and serve. Serves 8.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Lime green and orange is a HORRIBLE color combination!

Saw Jocelyn at the bank today - that was nice, and at least I didn't have to show my ID! Got some US money out of there before the cruise date sneaks up on me and I'm all like "OH CRAP! NO TIME FOR BANKING!" That wouldn't be good for this hamsterette, you see. Not that I have a whole lot of plans to buy stuff when I'm on vacation, but postcards / souvenirs are definitely a given! (that reminds me, I need to do up a list of who will get stuff...) If you're lucky, you might get something! ;)

Got birthday cards, lots of stickers, half-price colorful clothing, a honeydew bubble tea from Tazza, tandoori chips, purple gum, chocolate, a huge envelope in case I don't see Billie anytime soon, noodles, and other personal care stuff. Megan, Steph, Corey, Nathaniel, and Ian had better appreciate it - or in the case of the babies and little ones, their parents had better appreciate it on their behalf! I saw a roll of 200 stickers at the dollar store for only a dollar - since they had five different kinds, I got them all. SO NEW AND SHINY! This still means I'm carrying around more money than is good for me, but at least I finally have a use for the Salvatore Ferragamo wallet which Auntie Catherine gifted me with for my birthday, haha.

Too bad I forgot to buy garbage bags and a "Thinking of You" card for Janina... maybe next time, if my head isn't so forgetful. At least I bought the majority of stuff on my list? *shrug*


There's a 20% Chance You've Been Abducted By Aliens

There's virtually no chance you've been abducted by aliens.
But there's always hope for the future!



Your Cell Phone Etiquette is 24% Bad, 76% Good

Your cell phone manners are quite good. Not perfect, but almost.
Occasionally, you do annoy people with your cell. But when you realize it, you stop.


That girl looks like someone I used to know... weird. :P

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My Daemon / Olive Garden Tiramisu Dessert




Olive Garden Tiramisu Dessert

1 sponge cake (10-12") - about 3" tall
3 oz strong black coffee
3 oz brandy or rum
1½ lbs mascarpone - room temp
1½ cups superfine / powdered sugar
unsweetened cocoa powder

Cut across middle of sponge cake forming two layers, each about 1½" high. Blend coffee and brandy. Sprinkle enough of mixture over bottom half of cake to flavor it strongly. Don't moisten cake too much or it may collapse on serving. Beat room-temperature cheese and 1 cup sugar until sugar is completely dissolved and cheese is light and spreadable. test for sweetness during beating, adding more sugar if needed. Spread cut surface of bottom layer with half of the cheese mixture. Replace second layer, and top this with remaining cheese mixture. Sprinkle top liberally with sifted cocoa. Refrigerate cake for at least 2 hours before cutting and serving.

Labels: , , , , ,

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Dream of biased food competitions and ripping up cards

I have no idea where this dream came from... although it appears that I'm back to dreaming about my online friends / contacts again!

* Sara (axbesm_starr) was having a baby inside a roomy elevator, and wanted a truly hideous name for her daughter: we convinced her to put it in the middle name slot

* she wanted to see her grandfather, but he was dying in another roomy elevator across the way from where we were... it would be a bad idea for him to meet his great-granddaughter before he died, since the baby would pick up the germs rather quickly, and maybe die herself within a few hours! (very delicate immune systems!)

* Sara's mom came by a little later to tell us that Grandpa had died, and we were all sad after that!

* my friends and I were transported to some basement room, where we could play an interactive video game - we could pick up silver and gold coins, and fling them at anything else within the fame without losing them!

* that only lasted a limited time, so we went back to real life... there was a number like 604-228-4202 on someone's Caller ID, which we somehow knew not to call since it was a scammer on the other end

* Twin Andrew asked me whether I wanted to rip up a stash of greeting cards he'd saved somewhere since it reminded him of unpleasant memories, even if he hadn't written in some of them yet

* I agreed, and saw yellow / brown / red / gold / white among the colors of the cards - we had such fun ripping them all up into little pieces and throwing them to the wind! (although we did feel a little guilty at the waste when it was too late to do anything about it)

* Eunice and her dad Richard showed up, and announced that we were going to have a food competition - we could have any coupons we liked to buy stuff, even!

* someone held up a page with a coupon for golden flour on it: "let's get Golden to buy what's indicated in the red text since it IS golden flour!" (instead of thinking that was lame as we'd normally do in waking life, we were all over that suggestion!)

* Uncle Richard sent these Mexicans to keep an eye on us to make sure we weren't doing anything against the rules... we noticed his favoritism creeping in (not even his daughter's team!), and complained to Eunice about it

* in turn, Eunice complained to the Mexicans, but was told rather brusquely that there was nothing they could do about it even if she was his daughter! ("There has to be a reason why he didn't choose your team to be the favorites!")

* we tried to get out of there, but the Mexicans were blocking all our access points with flaming swords... someone secretly activated a transporter field, which we all took advantage of - never mind the fruit and vegetables we left behind!

* we landed in a red-tiled room with velvet curtains - at first, we thought we were seeing double because there seemed to be a double Randal there! ("Does he have a twin? You would know..." "I don't think he does since he never mentioned it on his blogs, but that won't mean one doesn't exist!")

* Winnie told us that one of them was actually Randal's brother, but an almost-twin... he was pretty evil! (we couldn't really tell just by looking, but one had warm blood and the other had cold)

* we all laid down on the floor to decide what to do next - I could tell I was next to the real deal since his leg felt warm when he accidentally kicked me (that was a relief!)

* suddenly, someone signaled that they were next to the evil fake Randal, so we subdued him and transported him to the room where we'd come from (MUHAHAHAHA... let HIM deal with the Mexicans, swords, fruits, vegetables, papers, knives, and everything else! Certain death, that!)

* after that, someone asked where David M. was: he was in another corner of the room with Chung, and they were watching a homosexual drama unfold on the grassy stage (some of us were decidedly put off by that, heh)

* Steph wanted us to be crazy in order to distract some creepy guy from pursuing her (we couldn't sue the transporter field on him because that would give the evil one back to us since we'd have used it too much within half an hour, and we didn't want THAT)

* Winnie's baby Megan was crying so she picked her up and cooed at her: "Whose cigarette smoke is bothering you now, sweetie? Oh, it's probably Mommy's." (note: she doesn't smoke in real life!) Then she said: "Hey, you haven't met Auntie Stephanie yet! Here... hold her for a sec, Steph!" (of course Megan's met us all in real life!)

* my sister did that while Winnie finished her smoke, then handed her back... Winnie pointed out the sharp point below the baby's pacifier, saying that it contained phenobarbital to put the baby to sleep more easily

* we got an idea to use it on the creepy guy without his holding the baby, so Steph pretended to hold up the baby for him to admire, then JABBED that needle in right where it would hurt!

* the dream ended when he slowly slumped to the floor and fell down a stairwell - my sister said that it was a good thing it wasn't a hand date, or else she'd have been really nervous and angry too!

No, it doesn't make sense... but then, neither do the rest of my dreams!


You Are a Banana Split

Fruity, flavorful, and diverse.
Who can beat a true superstar?



You Can Make 55% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

You certainly have this dating thing down - and you know how to charm most people.
And when your charm seems broken, just think back to what has worked in the past.
You have the tools to make almost anyone fall in love with you - you just have to put them into action.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Olive Garden Chicken Formaggio Pizza, Memegen, and more!

Quiz Heaven had this EMO PERCENTAGE quiz that contained WAY too much Netspeak for my poor eyes to handle! Compared to the way a certain someone types on MSN, it's HORRIBLE! He types much better, although with a few things thrown in here and there. However, I can handle that... as long as my eyes aren't bleeding after / during the conversation, it's all good. :D (and if someone ELSE starts typing in Netspeak although he hasn't or won't, I think I'm gonna cry! :P)


Olive Garden Chicken Formaggio Pizza

4 ounces Chicken breast; bone -- skin
1 tablespoon Olive oil
2 tablespoons Onions -- dice
1 cup Tomatoes; drain -- dice
1 teaspoon Garlic -- chop
1/8 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Dried basil
1/2 cup Fontinella cheese -- shred
1/2 cup Mozzarella cheese -- shred
1/2 cup Mushrooms -- slice
1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese -- shred
1 12" pre-baked pizza crust

Preheat oven to 450°F. Sauté or bake chicken breast. Cool. Cut into 1/4" wide strips. Spray or grease a 12" pizza pan. Sauté onions and garlic briefly in the olive oil and add them to the tomatoes, salt, and basil. Spread the tomato mixture over the top of the crust. Lay chicken strips down over the tomatoes. Top with fontinella and mozzarella cheeses. Add the sliced mushrooms and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Bake at 450 degrees F for 8 minutes, or until cheese is melted and crust is piping hot.


What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

Canada. You probably get irritated when British people and Europeans think you're from the States, but we wouldn't make a mistake like that over here.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!
We're going to start with "cot" and "caught." When you say those words, do they sound the same or different?






You scored as Sam. You Are Like Sam! Sam is quite different from his brother, Dean. He is rational, sensitive, and more concerned with a "normal life" than his brother. He rebelled against his father's attempts to raise him as a demon hunter, and enrolled in Stanford University instead.

Sam

63%

Dean

56%

John

56%

Who are you most like on Supernatural?
created with QuizFarm.com












You WOULD Survive an Animal Attack!
If you were attacked by a Cheetah ... Winner: YOU!.
'Would You Survive an Animal Attack?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Ten of my favorite songs starting with the letter K

I have to list ten of my favorite songs which begin with a specific letter, and try to explain why they're my faves. In this case, the letter is K. Saw this in Andrew's journal, so had to get in on it since I'm me. However, I'm much too lazy to upload the songs to SendSpace, like he did! Comment, and I'll give you a letter in return.

1. Radiohead, Karma Police: I loved the video for this one when it came out, and the lyrics fit how I felt about a certain person at the time. :D
2. Led Zeppelin, Kashmir: This is definitely a great song! I love the music and lyrics!
3. Neil Young, Keep On Rockin' In The Free World: Gotta love Neil Young since he's a cool Canadian rocker! This song is pretty sweet. :D
4. Cold Chisel, Khe Sanh: I've liked this ever since Jay introduced it to me years ago, even if I don't talk to him anymore.
5. the Cure, Killing An Arab: I love the lyrics and how Robert Smith sings. :)
6. Better Than Ezra, King of New Orleans: I've always liked how the guy sings in this tune!
7. the Police, King of Pain: Definitely lyrics people can relate to, if they've experienced loss and such.
8. GWAR, King Queen: It's GWAR... what else can I say? ;)
9. the Newsboys, Kissin' Your Cares Goodbye: It's a pretty catchy Christian rock song, which is awesome!
10. Metallica, King Nothing: I love how the guys execute this song! Lovely growls. :D

Bonus one...

11. Three Doors Down, Kryptonite: One of my "guilty pleasure" songs. Enough said. :P

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

TWO empty-net goals?! / Friendship and TV shows / Olive Garden Breadsticks

My dad picked me up a little later than we'd agreed upon, but the clogged traffic was understandable with Game 7 on at 6! Saw a newspaper article about autism: I think I'm only interested in it because of little Sean - let's just say that I had no idea the therapies would be so expensive! Eric came over a bit after 6, so we settled down to watching the game. The first period was BRUTAL: lots of penalties and a goal by Dallas! Grandma wondered why gwei jie was over, so Steph told her that he wanted to watch the hockey game with us. By the time I got back from the bathroom at one point during dinner, Eric's vintage jersey (he'd run home to change quickly) had a stain. Guess he'll have to Shout It Out later - I thought of Tears for Fears at once when he said that, heh. We saw Pavel Bure (1991-1998) on another channel: NEXT QUESTION! The game made everyone tense and such, but the Canucks turned it around in the second period: yay for 5-on-3, weird penalty situations that Steph thought was a CBC glitch, and finally breaking Turco's shutout streak! Mom was too nervous to watch, but did so anyway. She'd heard the announcers in the Calgary-Detroit series refer to Roman Hamrlik of the Flames, and thought they'd said Hemorrhoid! Oh, Mom... *laugh* The announcers STILL can't pronounce Kevin Bieksa's name correctly, and referred to the Canucks' uniforms as POWDER BLUE. Does this look like powder blue to you?



Then there was Don Cherry on Coach's Corner - stupid comments! Those two empty-net goals at the very end of the third were just icing on the cake, since we deserved to win 4-1 with vastly improved play! You could tell Smolinkski was all "hee hee, I scored a goal!" when Linden passed the puck to him - very classy guy, he is! Hey, my sister was wearing a vintage jersey that Linden and Willie Mitchell had signed for her on Raise-A-Reader Day last September! Pyatt got the first empty-net goal... the Stars pulled Marty Turco for the extra attacker too early, with 1:19 remaining in the game and the score still 2-1 at that point! Dad proved prophetic once again, too - "they'll score!" Lotsa penalties, too - I bet Nathan S. is wishing he didn't sell his Game 7 tickets! Now it's on to the second round to face the Ducks - maybe Brian Burke's team will kill us, but we'll see! For the first three goals, we stood and high-fived each other: I bet Eric was careful NOT to accidentally hit my glasses after the first goal, heh. I also noted some apostrophe abuse on CBC's part: SWEDES SILENCED should not have an apostrophe in it anywhere!

Thank goodness the game didn't go into overtime or anything - Jon called to say that Nathan would be driving him home after 24, which is what I thought since Nate wouldn't miss that show just to exercise his spiritual gift of chauffeuring. That episode was disappointing in some ways, ESPECIALLY the kiss between the vice-president and his assistant! EW EW EW, MARRIED MAN! Audrey definitely went crazy, and Cheng escaped! Karen also had to fire her husband Bill: she's too close to the president as the National Security Advisor, so Nadia's the acting director. Doyle screwed things up again from Jack's point of view, and Morris wants a transfer immediately: his ex-wife hit below the belt when she brought up his arming a nuke for a terrorist! Socially awkward, Chloe! Although I'd say that now is NOT the time to be jealous, Milo!

While we were watching CSI (about a nasty divorce which involves three murders and a lasered house plus a 17-year-old whose parents fought only over possessions and not him!), Jon and Nathan came home. Nate had decided he was thirsty on the way over, and told us that Chinese Eric / Dallas / Jeremy were at his house also for a dinner of Chinese takeout. Thank goodness white Eric could eat some of the stuff Mom got from Yaohan yesterday... his recent Mui's experience gave him some practice in guessing and being brave to eat certain things, haha! Mom decided to "order" (that was the word she used!) Nathan to drive me home since it was more on his way than Eric's - hey, things worked out for everyone involved, so I was happy! (as I told Nate on the way home) She gave everyone a copy of the Canada Food Guide, and I think the rainbow will entice little Sean out of his own world! (he seemed into his world for a bit on Sunday, even if he wasn't running around)

We talked about nasty commercials (my mom knows what Viagra is!), NHL 2004 updated graphics which Eric brought on a CD (things worked after he installed them on Steph's laptop, which is what counts), controls, editing, Dad asking me about my computer (weird), and the 24 finale dinner. After we told Nathan that he could bring Isabel since she's still at his house for the summer, he calculated and said that he couldn't make it after all since he's still in Ottawa / Toronto / Montreal on his trip! Then we joked about spoiling the finale for him by posting messages all over his Facebook wall, linking him to my blog post(s) on the matter, and filling his inbox with spoilers from other places! His solution? Staying away from the Internet, although of course he'll see if he can watch it at his motel room! Finished apricots, pineapple juice, and some mango juice - Nathan apparently couldn't open it when Jon was also in the kitchen for some garlic-honey treatment. (feeling light-headed from too much sleep, my sister says: he got up at 11 today) We also told Jon that of COURSE the Russian terrorist Gredenko was dead: do you really expect to survive after you chop off your arm, even if people are there to save you? Just die on the beach!

Steph was checking the church hockey pool, and wondered (again) who someone with a bra-related name was since it wasn't her or Viv. ("we're the only ones who would wear bras...") The guys eventually figured that the name sounded like what Angus would say, haha. Nathan drove me home, and we talked about what friends are for: hey, I simply HAD to loan someone a tape of a season focus-changing episode! Otherwise, he'd have been like: "Uh... where's Fayed? Who's this Audrey person and the Chinese people?" Then he'd have called me up / emailed me and wondered what the heck I'd done to the show, haha. Oh wait, that's only what Eric does whenever the Canucks lose hockey games - although he DID say he made Christon take the blame for Saturday's loss! But that's what this person would do were he LIKE Eric in the first place - he'd also pretend to pour water on my head, dance stuffed chickens around on my head (only at Nathan's!), pelt my stuffed animals at me, and do many other strange things! Ah, 20 years and counting with Eric as a good friend... gotta love that, after all. Speaking of what friends are for, he'll also tape the Monday episode we'll miss due to the cruise! We better watch it sometime between Friday to Monday - in between unpacking, catching up on (online) stuff we missed, and doing other things, it'll be interesting to see if we make it to Fellowship that night! Although my fears of staying over all day on the Friday may not materialize since Jon won't be out that day - no taxi!


Olive Garden Breadsticks

1 Loaf unfrozen bread dough (if frozen, thaw in bowl at room temp)
Pam or oil
Garlic powder
Dry oregano leaf -- rub between fingers

When dough is soft enough to knead, spray your fingers with Pam or oil and knead just until you can shape into cigar-sized pieces (about 8 to 10). Place these 3" apart on Pam-sprayed cookie sheets. Let rise in warm place until doubled - about 1.5 hours. Then holding Pam about 8" from sticks, lightly spray top of each and then dust with garlic powder and oregano. Bake at 375° about 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. "Cool in pan on rack to serve within a day or two. Olive Garden Breadsticks are just brown and serve" soft breadsticks. Brown in the oven and spread liquid margarine over them, then sprinkle with garlic salt.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Monday, April 23, 2007

Florida, imaginary scolding, and dreaming about pioneers / message boards

Another day, another weird phone call from a number I don't recognize. This one originates from Florida, and the number is 727-831-2410. Oh well, I'm used to it now. At least I forwarded something to Eric, so I'll ask him tonight whether he got it. Jon emailed a bunch of people, saying he's gotten a whole list of "maybe' responses for tonight's dinner with Dallas. Jeremy suggested going to a place with TV since the **** Canucks complicate matters needlessly - NOT Shanghai Wind - and the backup is Nathan's. I know he watches 24 too, but I'm not sure where the dinner is, haha. Maybe I'll call Jon after I finish typing up the rest of this entry... or I'll just go with the original plan! Heh, my mom's sent me an email on tonight's plans TWICE! Well, almost twice... everything's the same with the exception of the last few words. Nice, real nice.

At least I didn't get sick from consuming an energy drink like last time with the Red Bull. Must not have BEEN the drink in October 2005, then - but it still could have been a one-time incident! I can just imagine Danielle scolding us because of the effects that taurine and other chemicals have on my body: "SEE?! THIS is why you shouldn't have energy drinks, Leslie! Look at her, Citrus and Nathan! Do you want to end up suffering like that from drinking THOSE?!" Hahaha... never mind that our body compositions and reactions to foreign substances are probably very different, because reason never seems to enter into it when you scold someone for real. ;)


My dream was kinda weird last night after I finally fell asleep at like 3:50 while going to bed at 2 AM...

* flipping through a pioneer's (auto-)biography with a black-and-white photo spread in the middle: one of the photos showed her as a little chubby glasses-wearing girl with baby chicks (as opposed to girl chicks ) ... the notation underneath the photo said that looking after animals helped her to overcome her self-esteem problems and stand up to teasing by others kids at school (now THAT is an anachronism of sorts!)

* Jon and Jeremy alerting me to the fact that we had to stop a demonstration on Knight and 49th: we supported that area remaining the same with its existing buildings and local flavor, but these demonstrators wanted to introduce new buildings and tear down the blue-green KFC strip mall

* we got to the area, and found that the demonstrators supported crowding the area with buildings everywhere - no more green space except what the existing school strictly required, and the local fruit stand with plums and other refreshment would be shut down to move someplace else

* Jeremy called his (former) roommate Darryl, and he showed up with all sorts of legal briefs and injunctions... eventually, we prevailed and shipped the demonstrators to Australia, hehe

* later, we were all recounting this on a message board with a dark color scheme... Darryl had this avatar which had a crazy-looking man in it! (everyone else's were more normal, heh)

* Jeremy made a joking post about me, and included , , and in his reply (I knew the last smiley was overused at that board anyhow, and didn't mean anything in particular or stuff beyond friendship - I was perfectly fine with that!)

* the dream ended when we were all having celebratory beers and good food together... good times, haha!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Radio Shows / Netspeak / My Visual DNA / Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookie

Two good things and one not-so-good thing before I go play some more:

1. I finished all the undone dungeons on my list earlier tonight, although I may go back and do the F_X dungeon since the corresponding space adventure seems more full of stuff. Then again, I thought the G_D space adventure would have more to it than it did. Oh well.
2. I thought I'd miss the last episodes of Dead Men Prowl on Lights Out, the old-time radio drama show that Rock 101 has on Sunday nights. It's an interesting show where dead men rise and kill people - you see, NOT like Jesus! Thought the cruise would conflict with that, but it turns out that the ten-part drama ends next week... guess I calculated wrongly! (they do play two episodes a week, haha!)
3. I like a certain person just fine, but he types with some Netspeak. Yes, I know that's how people his age communicate these days, but still. Oh well, I'll grin and bear it since it's not as bad as it COULD be! Add another person to the list of friends from whom I'll grudgingly accept some Netspeak! (someone in a grammar community called me an elitist - oh, I am so NOT one! :P)




Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookie

To dispel the urban legend of the $250 recipe, as told in the text of the infamous chain letter recipe, Neiman Marcus created an actual recipe for chocolate chip cookies and displayed it on the Neiman Marcus Web site... for a limited time only. I recently went to take another look at the recipe, and it was gone. Georgia Christiansen, Neiman Marcus Creative Director, told me that the recipe will no longer be featured on the site. But she did send me a copy. Since I get so many requests for the recipe, and because I get even more e-mail copies of the bogus chain letter, I will post the recipe here. Maybe this will help put an end to the myth.

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 3/4 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon instant coffee, slightly crushed
8 oz. semisweet chocolate chips

1. Cream the butter with the sugars until fluffy.
2. Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract.
3. Combine the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture.
4. Stir in the chocolate chips.
5. Drop by large spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet.
6. Bake at 375 degrees for 8-10 minutes, or 10-12 minutes for a crispier cookie. Makes 15 large cookies.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Rockstar gives me additional crazy fuel, buddy!

Note to self: Do NOT give salmiakki candy to anyone, since it really does taste "interesting" in a "bitter melon" kind of way! Maybe it's an acquired taste... good thing I didn't share it at the meeting! Steph picked me up at 9:15, and we were off to church - I showed remarkable patience and restraint with people for only getting two hours of actual sleep, since it takes me forever to fall asleep these days. When I got to church, Jeremy waved to me, so we exchanged greetings - I can definitely understand his being tired! Talked to Chalaine, Sheena, Angus, Phil, and Andrea before service started - of course I said hi to Hannah, Priscilla, and Natalie too! Briefly considered something before deciding against it, then handed Michelle and Andrea their birthday cards just as the sermon started. Wasn't going to do it during singing, even though my sister alerted me to Michelle's whereabouts in the row behind us... they thanked me afterwards, so it's all good. I liked how Nathan prayed for the Virginia Tech shooting victims and such - so horrible! (I may be morbid, but even I know that it's tragic!)

Put my stuff down in the toddler room since there wasn't any reason to carry it with me outside, and encountered Eric on my way into the parking lot. Finally knew what the significance of his message last night was - not a reasoned clothing choice, that's for sure! Talked to Danielle and others about "fat camp" and our crazy 35-steamer SLB record: Jon joked that we could have had 40 if she'd been there that time! Melia can't do "fat camp" anymore since she's getting married: you have to fit into your wedding dress, and you won't do that with monster amounts of fried chicken / pizza / chips / other such foods! Eventually after talking about hockey / 24 / dinner / my weird dreams, we all went to Sunday School - the autistic kid didn't run around today, but liked repeating the numbers 1-10 a lot, aided by a colorful book in the room. Apparently, he saw some guy on TV counting from 1-10 on his fingers a couple weeks ago - that'll do it! After that, Mike and I waved hi to each other while I asked Amos about his dentist appointment yesterday: yup, lots of trips involved for work on the ol' braces! Andrew wanted to know when I'd add him on MSN - eventually, I did it when I got home. Danielle and Citrus joined our family at Pho, and marveled at how energetic little Natalie and Nathan seemed since they were very hyper at a nearby table. Ivan's just laid-back and chill in sharp contrast, heh.

When discussing a certain picture Danielle forwarded to a bunch of people, Citrus decided to show us various videos on his phone of Nathan dancing at a Wii night: there are some things we don't need to see, thanks! (like the video of Steph dancing around in her backup pajama pants which are five sizes too large - Citrus joked that Jon and I would be scarred for life!) Danielle tried being thoughtful when she ordered spring rolls for Citrus with her shrimp / beef salad rolls, but he'd ordered vermicelli with spring rolls! Roll abundance, anyone? She'd also tried surprising Citrus at work yesterday, but he was home at the time he said he'd be done at the bank: oops. Moral of the story: DON'T BE THOUGHTFUL since it doesn't work with them! Apparently, Nathan had flung a controller while playing a Wii game and hit her in the head with it accidentally: OUCH! Discussed Jon's lateness: there was the time he made Danielle wait 90 minutes for him before they went for lunch somewhere! Then he was talking to Harmony last night: "The opera doesn't wait for you, so you shouldn't be late!" Pot, meet kettle. :P

After an entertaining lunch, Jon decided to go to Commercial Drive for some coffee before a church meeting. Citrus, Danielle, Steph, and I bemoaned his being a diva / princess on our way to the 7-11. Once Citrus announced his intention to get an energy drink because of his hockey game later, Danielle termed that "disgusting" because of all the chemicals in those things. Hey, I was going to get one too - see first sentence of this post for the reason why! I also got some Garden Salsa Sun Chips for home consumption, and noticed some Tandoori Sizzler Doritos - I might try those later! Steph stuck to a Slurpee, while Danielle got some coffee and other stuff. Citrus and I gave each other a high-five, while Danielle tried convincing us that the chemicals (like taurine) were gross even in the "healthiest" of those! Got to church early for sign-in, and sat in seats near the front. Just when I was wondering where Eric was, he showed up - hehe, yay! Randal had sat down by me, and was flipping through the Chinese Bible. Since I assumed he was like most of us, I told him that it was in Chinese - apparently, he recognized some characters in there! Better than me, that's for sure. He shared some thoughts on the taped episode with me: I *told* him that he'd have to see it otherwise he'd be wondering what's going on with Jack and Audrey!

A bunch of people brought their laptops to work on stuff: I could see Joey playing some kind of game (?), Danielle working on her and Daniel's cyber-bullying presentation, Steph working on email and camp stuff, and Nathan just looking stuff up on Google like Christian Death Metal. Offered candy to everyone around me - cocoa Peeps (with a few leftover for my mom, who asked about them this morning - if they were all gone, she'd be mad!) and Tootsie Rolls were sufficient, what with Daniel's bag of random candy also making the rounds. We communicated in hushed whispers across rows about camp, Facebook, "HRM" (no idea what that means!), cheques, Sheena and Chalaine paying almost $500 for camp (but they're bringing two friends!), Danielle's dissertation, a trip picture of Randal on Steph's computer (he sent it to her even if he forgot that by now, because I didn't forward it to her - yay for Gmail archiving everything!), birthday cards, and other things. At least Jon signed the May and June ones at this meeting... except for two late June cards that I kept back for various reasons, haha. (he and Phil laughed over the butt tattoo one for Mom's birthday) This had a double effect: it forced me to pay attention to the meeting (more or less), and it ensured that I wouldn't have to bug Jon about card-signing for at least a couple of months!

Avoided the post-meeting washroom lineups by a few minutes, and then asked Eric if he could drive me home - he never said anything one way or the other, but bugged me about being like Nathan. Uh, this is the first time I've ever had a Rockstar... and the only time I've had an energy drink (Red Bull) was in October 2005! Before we went home, he asked me where my mom was (at work - I am not avoiding her!), and then asked Steph if our mom was inviting him for dinner - yes, indeed. He still won't be there at 6, but it's all good as long as he catches most of the game and it doesn't go into overtime! On the way home, we discussed fuzzy pants (not for my sister or anyone else!) / inside jokes / Wal-Mart / certain jungles in Final Fantasy 12 / my twisted ideas / the family cruise / threats / nuts and bananas / nudging on MSN / patches / my being crazy (oh sure, have the energy drink kick in AFTER the meeting! :P) / excuses around not answering my phone / showers / lunch with Chung, Karen, and Dylan / sugar / text-based games / killing monsters. Entertaining, and I know what to expect tomorrow from HIM... and I thought he'd stop! Oh well, I'm not holding things over his head unless I absolutely have to! ;)

When I got home, I added Andrew on MSN using one email address. Imagine my surprise when I got an addition notification AND a message from some other email address! ("Yo, who are you?" "You added ME!" "No, YOU added ME..." "....not with THAT email address...") That proved to be a bit confusing, but he has two accounts - he said he didn't know I had Gmail. Heh, I do indeed... he hasn't read the Benjamin Button story yet, but that's fine. I hope the link doesn't expire before he reads it, heh. At least I did what I said I'd do, haha. It'll be cool to have additional contact with the teens, haha. Off to wander around dungeons and space adventures!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Ghostbusters call Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer Facts!

I'll post these in parts of about 100 each, haha.


1. Jack Bauer gets free vowels on Wheel of Fortune.
2. Jack Bauer attracts terrorists like his daughter attracts psychos and mountain lions.
3. On Day 4, Audrey Raines chose to be with her husband, Paul, over Jack Bauer. This is generally regarded as one of the worst decisions ever made by a human.
4. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are not created equal to Jack Bauer.
5. Don't mistake Jack Bauer giving up his weapon for weakness. He is the weapon.
6. If Jack Bauer says he would tell you but he'd have to kill you, he'll probably kill you anyway.
7. The playoffs once went into overtime before the season premiere of 24. It was sudden death overtime because Jack Bauer went there and shot all the players. No one preempts Jack Bauer.
8. Jack Bauer shouldn't be compared to Jesus. Jack rose from the dead not once, but twice.
9. Jack Bauer once shot a terrorist plane down with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"
10. Jack Bauer can make the fun stop after popping open a can of Pringles.
11. When Jack Bauer enters a church, the choir stops what they're doing and sings Hallelujah. Every time.
12. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can see Jack Bauer, you're probably staring down the barrel of a silenced pistol.
13. The only reason outer space exists is because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Jack Bauer.
14. Jack Bauer stays up all night. Now vampires are afraid to come out at all.
15. Jack Bauer doesn't pay prostitutes. Prostitutes pay Jack Bauer.
16. Noah only lived to be 900 years old because Jack Bauer was not alive to kill him for withholding information that could have saved millions of lives.
17. The real reason why all those famous heroes like Hercules, Achilles, and Perseus lived in ancient times was because they didn't want to compete with Jack Bauer.
18. Jack Bauer does not wash his hands when he pees. Jack Bauer knows better than to pee on his hands.
19. Jack Bauer taught his kids to be potty trained by pointing a gun at their heads and strapping their arms to a nuclear device; they had 3 minutes.
20. Jack Bauer won the Indianapolis 500 in a rickshaw pulled by Chuck Norris.
21. When Jack Bauer burps, he never says "excuse me." Jack Bauer has no time for excuses.
22. Jack Bauer cancelled Walker, Texas Ranger.
23. If Jack Bauer had to choose between saving Tony Almeida or Audrey Raines, he would choose Tony. Jack believes in 'bros before hos.'
24. Jack Bauer is never more than 15 minutes away from major terrorist activity.
25. Pledge allegiance to Jack Bauer of the Los Angeles Counter Terrorism Unit, and to the country for which he kills; one man, under none, invincible, with torture and pain for terrorists.
26. Jack Bauer is always in Chuck Norris' blind spot.
27. Jack Bauer was once asked if he was a homosexual. Once.
28. Jack Bauer thinks it's cute when David Banner says "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." You wouldn't have the opportunity to not like Jack Bauer when he is angry... you'd be dead.
29. Former L.A. Lakers star Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have slept with 20,000 women. What he doesn't mention is the fact they were all Jack Bauer's sloppy seconds.
30. Jack Bauer gets the Chinese man to deliver his food even if he doesn't spend the $15 minimum. Then the delivery man tips Jack for not kicking his ass.
31. Despite being an all-perfect being, Jack Bauer's vision is 24/24. The good Lord felt it was both ironic and cute.
32. Jack Bauer doesn't feel regret. He only feels recoil.
33. Jack Bauer can downhill ski up a mountain.
34. When the military gave President Kennedy a 21-gun salute at his funeral, Jack Bauer returned fire.
35. Jack Bauer once shot a man for having too many items in the express checkout.
36. Upon seeing Sean Astin become head of CTU, Jack Bauer immediately shot and killed him to prove to everyone that Goonies, in fact, do die.
37. Jack Bauer did not fake his death to get away from the Chinese. He could own the entire country of China with his bare hands. No, he faked his death to get away from Audrey.
38. Jack Bauer fired Donald Trump.
39. Jack Bauer pisses with the lid down and still gets it in.
40. I pissed my pants once during 24. Not because I was scared, but because if Jack Bauer can hold it in for 24 hours, I can hold it in for one.
41. If Jack Bauer smoked cigarettes, even the Surgeon General would be selling them to teenagers.
42. Jack Bauer has 3 rules for fighting terrorism.
#1. Shoot first.
#2. Ask questions later.
#3. Repeat rules 1 and 2.
43. You do not want to play the Jack Bauer version of Jeopardy.
44. Jack Bauer tried to play dodgeball once, but ended up shooting each of his opponents nine times in the chest with what he considered to be "a defensive maneuver."
45. Jack Bauer's Guidance Counselor once asked him what he wanted to do with his life. Bauer told him what his plans were for life after high school, but then he had to kill him.
46. Jack Bauer is never asked to turn his cell phone off at weddings, movies, or churches.
47. When Jack Bauer masturbates, all women within 3 miles have orgasms.
48. If Jack Bauer had been attacked by a stingray like Steve Irwin... he would have escaped, captured and tortured the stingray, and found out who it was working for.
49. Jack Bauer doesn't cry wolf. The wolf cries Jack Bauer.
50. For every terrorist a CTU agent doesn't kill, Jack Bauer kills three.
51. Jack Bauer was once allergic to the animal known as the Dodo Bird. Long story short, the Dodo bird is now extinct.
52. Every time Jack Bauer breaks protocol, 10 terrorists cry.
53. Jack Bauer shot the sheriff and the deputy.
54. Chuck Norris is Jack Bauer's biggest fan.
55. When Jack approaches a yield sign, he doesn't slow down. Jack yields to no man.
56. Every morning, Jack Bauer stares at a basket of kittens and electrocutes himself if he thinks of petting one.
57. When Jack Bauer exercises, the machine gets a workout.
58. Jack Bauer is the only true American Idol.
59. Jack Bauer is 1/5th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry... the man ate a f*cking Indian.
60. The only reason Martha Logan could bring herself to having sex with President Logan was by pretending that he was Jack Bauer. However, the fantasy wasn't fulfilled when President Logan lasted only 40 seconds.
61. If a toy company made a Jack Bauer teddy bear, his fur would be made of Brillo pads. Jack Bauer is never soft and cuddly.
62. The sound of Jack Bauer's voice can impregnate any woman, and even some men.
63. Jack Bauer doesn't hide and go seek. He seeks and destroys.
64. The reason everyone with Allstate is "in good hands" is that they have David Palmer running their ad-campaign... which means they're all in Jack Bauer's hands.
65. Jack Bauer is China's birth control.
66. If Jack Bauer asks to have just 5 minutes with you, run.
67. When the US Army discovered Saddam Hussein, it was only because Jack Bauer finally told them where he had been torturing Saddam for five years.
68. Jack Bauer is the only man that makes Elisha Cuthbert call him Daddy.
69. You're either with Jack Bauer or against him. If you're against Jack Bauer, you're either dead or will be soon.
70. Jack Bauer can put aluminum in the microwave.
71. Because of Jack Bauer's role in Phone Booth, not only do terrorists avoid phone booths, but they refer to them as Jack in the Boxes.
72. The Ghostbusters call Jack Bauer.
73. Jack Bauer's daughter is very hot.
74. The real reason whales beach themselves? Jack Bauer occasionally goes swimming.
75. Jack Bauer has all your missing socks.
76. Jack Bauer doesn't die when he gets shot... he only gets pissed.
77. Jack Bauer can fit 21GB on a 20GB iPod.
78. The reason why James Bond keeps switching the actors is because the writers keep hoping they'll get Jack Bauer.
79. Jack Bauer killed Bambi's mother. And then he ate her. Raw.
80. Guys wearing an "I'm with stupid" T-shirt suddenly realize that the hand is showing upwards when they're standing next to Jack Bauer.
81. While Jack Bauer was presumed dead, a random oil field in Southern California produced more oil than any other region in history.
82. Telemarketers do not call Jack Bauer at dinner time in fear of retaliation.
83. The only reason Jack Bauer didn't stop 9/11 was that Edgar didn't open up a port.
84. When Jack Bauer pushes the pedestrian crossing light, he gets a "walk" sign right away. Always.
85. Jack Bauer would have finished his hunting partner off if he were in Dick Cheney's position.
86. Jack Bauer faked his own death to get off the CTU payroll. Jack Bauer does not mix business and pleasure.
87. Jack Bauer is a vegetarian. Not because he doesn't like meat, but because he hates vegetables.
88. Garbage men leave Jack Bauer's empty trash cans upright and in their proper location.
89. Jack Bauer cut his own umbilical cord.
90. Jack Bauer once showed me a video of him having sex with my wife. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
91. When Jack Bauer sees a terrorist with half a head, he stops laughing and reloads.
92. Jack Bauer once simply glared at the Incredible Hulk and he immediately turned back into Bruce Banner.
93. Watch film of the Berlin Wall coming down. If you look closely, through the dust, you'll see Jack Bauer walking away carrying a sledgehammer.
94. If Jack Bauer told you Bush was doing a good job, you'd believe it.
95. Jack Bauer throws away the pin instead of the grenade for fun.
96. Osama asked for a truce because he heard Jack Bauer got his address.. and is coming for dinner.
97. Jack Bauer once submitted a fact on this website. He shot anyone who gave him less than a ten.
98. Jack Bauer lost his virginity before his dad did.
99. Rambo: First Blood Part II is actually footage of Jack Bauer's 2nd grade field trip.
100. If you mouth off to Jack Bauer, you will die of natural causes, because Jack will naturally kill you.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,