Saturday, July 30, 2011

Happy Date for dinner, bus impatience, Google results as a restaurant, and brain mush

Mom and Dad dropped me and Grandma off at Happy Date Bakery and Restaurant after they gave me $20 and Cracker Jacks, but Mom had to make sure Flora from #9 was working. She wasn't, but that was apparently fine. I saw an Asian couple changing their baby's diaper on a chair inside Happy Date restaurant. Yes, Chinese restaurant washrooms are REALLY dirty, but there are some things that you just DON'T DO! For dinner, we both had Horlicks and soup to drink (plus toast with butter), but I had Minute Steak with spaghetti and eggs while she had baked seafood with rice. Afterwards, she bought a mini-pack of walnut pastry for herself, and a mini-pack of butterfly pastry for me. She got really impatient on the bus once we were the only two people left on it with a good number of stops to go. Luckily, I didn't have to restrain her from using the bell pull! It's also a good thing I didn't have to prevent her from taking the 410 instead, as I kept her bus ticket till the 407 showed up!

Grandma, once I made her look at the Google Image Search results for spaghetti: "Aiya! What restaurant makes THAT much noodles?! You shouldn't have those for dinner anyway, but instead for lunch! Only RICE for dinner!" Guess it really isn't "whatever I haven't had in a while" as dinner for ME...

Mom: "Here, read this! You might suffer from mom-nesia!" *reads the newspaper headline* "... waking up too often to CARE FOR BABIES may turn brains to mush!" Does that describe my life?! I DON'T THINK SO!

Dad: "When does Teunis leave? Oh, he left yesterday... no wonder you're depressed!" .... o_O WTF. *cue both parents saying stuff about how he should save money since his job isn't guaranteed, and he isn't even past the probation period* Um, yeah...

Mom, asking for my opinion on her banquet dress: "How do you like my outfit? Is it tight enough for you?" .... er, help?

Grandma, on the weather: "It's good that it isn't snowing!" Me: "It's JULY, almost AUGUST! Of course it's not snowing!" Grandma: "I just meant that it's good there's no snow! In January or February, it snows." Um, okay?

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No more fish burgers at Dairy Queen, Grandma!

I got to the townhouse just before 12, and Grandma thought I was hungry. Well, I know her metabolism demands to be fed RIGHT NOW! We eventually went to the Dairy Queen across the street, where she was not impressed that they don't sell her favorite fish burgers anymore. I got her a regular hamburger and hot water instead after she said that she didn't want cheese on hers, and got a Chocolate Explosion mini-Blizzard with my Grillburger Combo. She thought I didn't have enough food since she was eating some of my fries - it was FINE! I amused myself by telling her that the popcorn shrimp picture was really durian sticks, and the ice cream cakes in the freezer had durian in them, hahaha! She commented on various people inside the Dairy Queen, such as a cute little kid with an ice cream cone! He bit the bottom of the cone after a few minutes, hahaha. His dad told me that the kid had no patience: oh, quite possibly not! She also told me that she rode a motorcycle once when she was a young student - wow! Also, she kept offering me cherries / bananas / nectarines / apricots... no, I'm really not hungry!

At the townhouse, I figured that taking my laptop along was a good idea in theory, but not in practice! After finally finding a plug, it turns out I have to know the network security key in order to connect - that does make sense, haha. So then I perforce used Mom's desktop: I bit the bullet and downloaded / installed Semagic on there, since I gotta update and edit SOMEHOW! Then I almost had a heart attack when the Internet failed to connect for ten minutes or so: this IS the kind of thing which Mom would blame me for! Thank goodness it was just an errant plug on the Blitz modem - phew! Steph thanked me via FB post for Grandma-sitting while everyone is out at Mike and Emily's wedding / Mike and Juliana's wedding, and hopes I get some stories out of it. Hey, Grandma offered to take me out to dinner for being "good," so I'll think of where to go. that has food I don't get too often! I also helped her with the green yarn when it got tangled, and admired the gold-colored scissors.

Grandma, on the junior members of the family: "I remember when Jonathan got married... his wife Harmony is good. It's also a good thing that women can be in Stephanie's line of work now. She likes it, and she doesn't have to take your mom's money anymore!" HAHAHAHA!

Grandma, on my Internet life: "Do you do this all the time without sleep? Have you met many computer friends? Do they come over, or do you just talk?"

Grandma, on Teunis: "Is the white guy I see all the time your boyfriend? Are you sure? You need to get married!"

Grandma, on the black rice noodles in a pot on the stove: "Are you sure that isn't yarn?!"

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Fireworks at English Bay / Vanessa and FREEDOM / Spoz in a dream / Soul's eye color

Christon sent us an email saying that his summer doesn't feel complete unless he's gone to at least one fireworks event at English Bay; this year, the barge will be closer to the crowds. He shouldn't be organizing such a thing, but he's targeting Wednesday night since the Spain event should presumably be less crowded than China / Canada. I feel too old and such for them, hahaha.... THE CROWDS!

Vanessa also asked me a question on MSN; yes, he's gone and I have my solitude back again! Then she wondered what I was going to do - plenty, thanks! This includes hanging out with Grandma a little later today. Think I'll take my laptop now that I have a bag for it - updating LJ via browser DOES work, but it's probably still a bit wonky. Gotta have the Semagic workaround backup in case I need it! I also had a dream with Spoz in it somehow - I have no idea why!

Your Soul Has Violet Eyes

You understand people well, and are a natural-born therapist. You are a gentle listener and the ideal confidant.

You believe that this world truly lacks understanding. You try to exercise compassion as often as you can.

You are a compassionate and forgiving person. You are willing to overlook most mistakes.

Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. You need love in your life.

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Friday, July 29, 2011

Hung, Kenny, Teunis vacuuming, and Emily's chocolate / I'M FREE!

Hung re-added me to Facebook, so PHEW! Talked to Kenny briefly on Skype about Teunis, heh. I told Emily M. that I had some chocolate for her (and Nina and Gerard) if she was going to be around this Sunday - she will be, so IT IS ON! I'm getting sick of the chocolate Easter eggs I bought at Galloway's with Vanessa in May, anyhow! Plus I have a bunch of new Purdy's / Neilson's / Cadbury / Lindt chocolate to munch on. :D

Teunis came back at 9, saying he was exhausted from moving - I can sympathize! He says the elevator was broken down, so hauling his stuff up to the second floor was pretty draining and cost him a couple of hours... he did vacuum briefly, and said he hadn't eaten yet. Not surprised, actually. Of course, he returned the spare keys before going to the grocery store to buy toilet paper and other things that the new place is missing, but not after I made him sign the guestbook! Tomorrow, he actually is going to that Langley ren faire which we discussed the other night; not surprisingly, Kaili invited him! He says it'll be fun, so good for him! Teunis did recommend I bleach the fridge if I notice that things are going bad, so I did that with the stuff he gifted me with last summer; I'll just buy some more later. When he left, I finally got to test the air freshener that I got from London Drugs a couple of weeks ago: good thing they were only $1 each, because the Soothing Escape didn't spray properly! (maybe THAT was why they were so cheap, haha... but the Apple Cinnamon one was FINE!)


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Cleaning the bathroom / Teunis finally packing it in with wireless connections

Spent some time this morning in cleaning the bathroom, since it was needed! Teunis came back at 2 before seeing Hester about the parking pass / doing the final packing, and confirmed that he did leave at 9:15 or so. Says he couldn't sleep because of the noise made by my door opening and closing; well, I am a night person as he DEFINITELY knows! I'm sure he was late for work, but he was too tired and exhausted to get up. His audiobook unpaused on its own, which was funny - apparently, it's happened at work also, but everyone laughed! Trust me, I know GAME OF THRONES is popular these days if 21 holds for a library book / OH NO THEY DIDN'T are any indications! The hallway light bulb happened to go out a couple minutes after he came in - good timing, because then I would never be able to replace it on my own! Teunis said that his suspicions regarding the light bulb covers on the dining room table lamps were correct. Too close to the bulbs = having to replace them more often!

I should also remember NEVER TO SPRAY CLEANER ONTO THE LAPTOP SCREEN ITSELF! I'll keep an eye out for any of his mail, although he'll set up mail forwarding as well. We discussed his food shelves, the durian gelato, his cooler still in storage, frustrations, banking hours, the bathroom, boxes, soy sauce, carloads of stuff, ill-timed phone calls, the wireless network / router, passwords, various loads in the car, his cleaning supplies / being back in a couple hours to clean and vacuum (good thing I didn't feel like bowling at Rev's tonight!), and more. I moved back to the living room since he was just about all clear, then attempted to plug the laptop battery / power supply in the wall myself by unplugging the big white plug. Whoops! At least I got Teunis to help me plug it into a more appropriate location (the power bar under the desk) while he told me NEVER to do this, haha. Had one last bowl of Chapman's cappuccino frozen yogurt while he loaded his foodstuffs (including two jars of pickles / miso soup / pumpernickel bread / durian gelato / lard) into double-bagged London Drugs bags. He'll be back later, heh... we did wish each other good luck when he left, of course.

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XBox / 8-Bit FINAL COUNTDOWN / Tropical Flowers


I seem to be able to update via Semagic...

Teunis and I discussed storage, contacting Hester, his calling Tess (HA!), long-distance company limits, tomorrow's plans, no videos on the phone (Youtube eats up a lot of bandwidth), CALL OF CTHULHU / BREATH OF DEATH, BREATH OF FIRE / FINAL FANTASY spoofs, XBox / Steam sales, his military bed showing definite signs of wear and (literal) tear, containers, tubs, cleaning the fragile laptop screen gently with glasses cleaner and cloth so as not to disturb the LCD matrix, and mice. We also talked about his leaving this place in a better condition than when he found it (I'll agree), the laptop bag, stuffed animals, the dishes, his phone's alarm, Eric being evil, no phone reception at Kaili's (HA!), his guitar, the fiddle possibly amusing his co-workers, money, and more prior to his going to bed last night. I woke up because I could hear him moving around at 9 AM... oh well. Amanda C. added me back to Facebook, heh.

You Are Courageous

Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top. You do well in structured environments.

You are authentic and real. When in doubt, you choose to be truthful - even when it hurts.

You are ardent and passionate. You have a intensity that burns brightly.

You have high self-esteem. You think well of yourself, and that's all that matters.

FINAL COUNTDOWN, 8-bit NES version:

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Cleaners, foreign thanks, siege lifting, weight amusement, inclusion, and NO BOWLING!

When Teunis got home, I had him help me open the Clorox cleaners before I gave him one Cadbury's premium dark chocolate bar and the "new home" card with gems on the front. He bowed and said his foreign thanks, hahaha. We also discussed downloading / testing games, a Japanese raccoon movie, the gradual emptying of my living room, contacting the manager Hester, Internet access, money, rent, and duct tape. Conversed about packing, his portable closet, mail, finishing the yummy mango cheesecake, his server noise, clothes, onions / garlic / bad breath, the Hague, oils, the laptop battery / power adaptor, computer mice, his mom and Jim, taking pictures of Kaili and Jordan, bottled water being "evil," wireless networks and keys / passwords, carrots / potatoes / onions / beets (and their power to STAIN!) as our Last Supper, and more. He described dinner as "something to celebrate the lifting of a siege, although there was no real villain in this one." That, I can live with. He was amused because his 50 pounds of weights in a small bag were half the recommended load for his dolly, hahaha.

Eric got on MSN to bug me about his telling Christon that I would indeed go bowling tomorrow. After I'd expressed my rage and frustration over that, he retracted that and said he didn't actually do so: "I just told Christon that you weren't coming, so it would just be me." He thinks that I'm being "a silly willy" about it, but I AM NOT! I don't want to look like an idiot, although he thinks that hanging out over dinner and chatting would be inclusive. Not if it's on the way to something which WON'T include everyone! He also bugged me like this: "turn down the BREATH OF FIRE walkthrough - I can't hear you." HA HA HA! I wasn't even PLAYING one!

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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Intense blackcurrant and premium dark chocolate! / My past medieval life

Went out and did my banking, then went to Shoppers Drug Mart. The quality chocolate bars were indeed on sale, so I picked up five Lindt / Cadbury / Nielsen: intense blackcurrant, premium dark chocolate x2, mint, and Jersey Milk. I also bought two on-sale Clorox cleaners (so Teunis can at least help me open them on his last day here) / a "new home" card for Teunis, and managed to spend under $25!

What is Your Past Medieval Life? by badb-brenna
Favorite Weapon
Country of BirthScotland
Hair ColorRed
Eye ColorBlue
Your HomeInland Castle
Mode of TransportationHorse
Date of DeathMarch 18, 1430
Chance of Survival

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Mango cheesecake, wireless networks, ARMAGEDDON, and feelings


Before Teunis went to bed, we discussed mail / mango cheesecake (GOOD!) / packing / lids for cookpots / the wireless network / modems. Today, it was time to do laundry - DARN YOU, PHYSICAL CONTACT! No, I am not a phobic person, but it was UNCOMFORTABLE! The $5 bill successfully survived being literally laundered, thank goodness... I was going to give that up as a loss! Also, Vickie Byxbe-Nash added me on Facebook from the LiveJournal FB page.


You Are Engaged

You're the type of person who jumps right in and asks questions later. You like to get in the middle of things.

You are a curious and brilliant person. No subject is too difficult or complicated for you.

You're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly. You quickly get sick of the things you love.

You experience pure joy. You seek out happiness and simply allow yourself to be happy.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wednesday block party, cute guys, NO HUGS, fresh peas, and "yo" guys

Eric picked me up for the block party, and said that I was finally going to see people again - JUST when I found out that Safari worked for LJ, too! Oh well... we discussed quinoa / chickpeas, video game music, Christmas carols, Christon's stupid email about Friday, my being clear that I wasn't going anywhere on Friday (I'm not going to just sit and chat on my first truly free night in more than six months!), people possibly caring about me, excuses, the grad banquet, calling Deb / Dylan / Jon, and more. When we got there, I talked to Cindy / Deb / Jon / Harmony / Quan / Gino / a few of Jon's SERVANTS friends (including a woman with CP who wanted to hug EVERYONE) / a cute white guy with dreadlocks / Vania: tightrope walking, HARRY POTTER, being sick, my being Jon's sister, some random drunk guy who poured laundry detergent in the BBQ grill, burgers, fried chicken, spotting Eric (good thing I brought cash!), the Alibi Room, playing guitar, and more. There were two little girls who were giving out fresh peas from the garden: that was cute!

After a couple of hours, Eric and I left when things had wound down. We were lucky not to get hit by any flying water balloons, which Andrea L. had brought in the morning! On the way home, we discussed Jasmine (whom Eric thought he saw) / bowling / my not caring about stuff / Sunday / Jeremy / my being crazy or drunk / LJ / chewing and slurping / reasonable hours / "yo" guys / hanging out with Grandma. When I got home, I found out that those 100g chocolate bars in the fridge weren't mine after all (DAMMIT!); this was after I'd offered one to Teunis, haha! He needs them for work, so fair enough! (I know what Corey would have to say about THAT, hahaha) We also discussed movies, spiders, mango cheesecake, packing, playing games to test them out, Internet access, and more. I also briefly called Auntie Ying to see how she was - she's okay, although she is getting over sickness!

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Golden Double Stuffed Oreos / Mango cheesecake / Destroying old debit card

Barry picked me up early, and we were off to Price Smart / Save-On Foods. I bought half-price bottled water (30 bottles!), a cocktail-size version of pumpernickel bread, three dark green bath poufs, pads, bananas, on-sale chicken / beef / turkey pot pies (ten for $10 instead of $15), couscous to try, chicken and wild rice / chicken and rotini / minestrone / clam chowder soups, Chinese sausage x2, on-sale cherries, Golden Double Stuffed Oreo (NEW!), and tapioca pudding. Also decided to get extra cash, dill Philadelphia cream cheese, mango cheesecake (Teunis seemed to like that idea to mark transitions), jalapeno and cheddar / sea salt and malt vinegar Old Dutch chips, Greek Olympic yogurt, on-sale Sunlight apple juice / wildberry juice, on-sale coconut milk x2, and Voortman gingerbread cookies. When I got home, I paid my Shaw bill and destroyed my old debit card by cutting it up. While putting things away, I discovered three 100g chocolate bars in the fridge that I'd forgotten about - SWEET!

I called Eric to see if I'd risk another faceplant if I went to the Wednesday block party today; he says we're not going to that place, and that there's no ice today. It wasn't ice that caused me to embarrass myself in front of Randal and others at Jon's surprise party in November; IT WAS THE STEEP STEPS! He was making food (I could hear dishes clanging in the background), and wondered if I'd go. I told him that it was something to do; what I didn't tell him was that it would be better than refreshing LJ to get a white page almost constantly, haha. I can always do some banking tomorrow - and it better be ONLY banking, oh my! If he calls around 4:30 or so, I should be good to go. Turns out Safari works on LJ for now... :D

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Couscous, DDoS attacks, and WORST COVERS EVER!


Before Teunis went to bed last night, we discussed computers pissing him off / TETRIS as comfort music / things bugging me / hot chocolate / couscous / exhaustion / music / worry / hatred / Friday plans after noon. I was awoken briefly at 6:30 AM, then had a strange dream where Sarah C. and Mike K. were looking for each other in two massive school buildings; there were also people in elaborate costumes for the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, and Henry left me at the Seabus station at the end of the school. He did say "bye," but otherwise gave me no warning. Auntie Eva said she'd take care of me, so we went to the fancy restaurant on school grounds, and Lillian regretted not being able to give me a ride home. Nathan also showed up as a costumed marauder, but could give me no help. I woke up soon after that... hmm.

Yup, it's official: another DDoS attack on LJ! SAD! Discovered that Hung and Amanda C. had both unfriended me on Facebook... WTF?

You Are a Raindrop

You are a natural listener. You're truly interested in what other people have to say.

You listen to your own heart most of all. You believe that it's important to understand yourself.

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You grasp the deeper meaning of things.

You try to be good with whatever happens in life. You find your contentment from within.

The worst cover ever of FINAL COUNTDOWN:

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Gum and Teunis / Black Forest Cake / Periodic Table of Heavy Metals

I didn't even think twice about having gum in my mouth when Teunis got home, and I plonked the guestbook on his table before I forgot (again), and asked him about cleaning the laptop screen or fan with special tools. Haha, it's definitely habit! We also discussed his laundry, the leftover filling soup, sounds, "GAME OVER" video game music, stress, rice crackers, sounds, pumpernickel bread, black forest cake, and more. Discovered redrum had (possibly) started, so told my sister that via another phone call, haha. Left messages with Kenny via Skype, and talked to Vanessa on MSN for a bit as well.

From Candy and Glen:

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Mini-golf, bowling, and pitch-and-putt are the most stupid ideas EVER!


Steph called so we could engage in some sisterly discussion, haha. Considering the way these stupid "Friday group outing" emails are going, I'm not leaving the house to "have fun" since I'd rather stay home than do something I don't want to do! Honestly, nobody wants to go to the beach, which is FREE unlike mini-golf / pitch-and-putt / bowling! Stupid people, every last one of them! (yeah - whining - but shut up!)

You Are Rebellious

You are both familiar with the dark side and totally comfortable with it.

You have no desire to lead or follow. You prefer to not be a part of the crowd.

Social graces don't come easily for you. You feel like many social rules are silly.

You act without consulting others. You prefer to make decisions on your own.

You bet!


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Sabaton, Hitler, not going out, Candy calling with drama, Subena, nice guys, and butter knives

Teunis got home and we discussed war, Chapman's cappuccino frozen yogurt, the past, Sabaton, music, research, caution, Poland, Hawaiian pizza, all-nighters, Hitler, LJ being down / wonky, Aphex Twin, history, my not going out, depression, agoraphobia, my friends possibly worrying about me, Christon, going for a walk, and more. Candy called when Teunis had just gone out with his bike - we talked about friend drama, family drama, Lucky, Leona, Subena, Step Echo (that CD was great!), life updates, Facebook, businesses, and more. I called Mom to say I would look after Grandma on Saturday, heh. When Teunis got back, we discussed his laptop / movies / quality burgers / trash / his new place / various types of beans / having snacks in the car.

‎"You won't meet a nicer bunch of guys" = "You don't want to go near them with a butter knife"?! WTF, hearing?! o_O

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Small Group Outing = NO! / The Letter Test / Techno FINAL COUNTDOWN

Christon emailed us about Small Group Outing; I'm not going to participate. He wants to possibly do mini-golf in North Vancouver just because HE hasn't done it in a long time! I know he's the leader and all, but way to make this all about YOU! His other options aren't appealing, either... pitch-and-putt and bowling?! Ugh, I'd rather stay home! It saves money and (as an added bonus) I can relish TRUE quiet and downtime! Yes, Teunis will be out of here by then!

You Are a Good Friend

You are reliable and dependable. You can be counted on through thick and thin.

You are full of common sense and everyday wisdom. You are street smart.

You are conscientious and organized. No detail slips past you.

People often say you would make a great therapist. You are an excellent listener, and you never judge.


I should have played this last night while things were going on, hahahaha! Too bad I never got much into techno, although I'm sure Spoz could have pointed me in the right direction! Stupid time differences!

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WAH454AH / Eric and discussion / Mark / Relaxing MARIO 64

Teunis and I discussed languages, compressed air, concentration (I AM IMPORTANT TOO!), translation, the hilarious "WAH454AH" license plate that Joey found (read it in "Cantonese"), hard drives, Portishead, and more. I asked Eric if he were going to the discussion night on Thursday - he said no, and then said that Jon was discussing why I wasn't at church. The ugfart figures that there's no man for me to crush on (!!!!), so Eric "helpfully" told me that Jeremy's brother Mark was now living here and was at church. I had to return my brother's call anyway (while he was grocery shopping), and he confirmed what Eric said. Of course I've met Mark, I told Harmony!

Eric figured I could change my mind about tonight since my excuse of his being evil and staying out all day wouldn't work because he was home. I didn't change my mind - games are still games, after all. :P Talked to James briefly, and got a relaxing song courtesy of MARIO 64 which wasn't readily identifiable as video game music - MUHAHAHA! He also sent me a SONIC 2 video!

MARIO 64 Pirate Bay:


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Bad Baby Names, Part 15: Flights of Fantasy

Part 15: Flights of Fantasy

I found all of these within a week. Be afraid.

How does the name Kanoa Kai sound? It is a Hawaiian name. (I am not Hawaiian - I just love the meaning of the names) Kanoa means "The Free One" and Kai means "Ocean."

Ten bucks says she's never been to Hawaii, never met a Hawaiian, has a farmer tan, and has never left the great landlocked state of Iowa.

Poll: Boys name - Lex or Ace?

Arch-villain or pet detective.... hmm....

I'm considering Christina / Kristina / Krystina for my baby girl that will be born in two weeks. I don't want to use a name that is too popular. I am also considering Christiana / Kristiana / Krystiana. Does this last group sound too fancy or sophisticated?

Don't worry, with a sophisticated name like Krystiana, she'll be moved up from regular lap dances to the Champagne Room in no time.

I am 39 weeks 5 days pregnant, and in serious need of a girl's name. We don't know what we are having, but we have 3 girls already, and I am just assuming another one is on its way. If we have a boy, his name will be Kole. My girls' names are Brett (RyLee), Bailee (Shea), and Kendall (Jade).

What we want to do is use a name that is somewhat androgonys (sp), just because the others are and we are looking for something that starts with a 'K.' Some thoughts have been Kaelyn or Kylie, but nothing is getting agreed on, and we have no other ideas.

Look, you can't do something if you can't spell it. That's why most of us are allowed to drive a car or date rock stars, but not allowed to give an electroencepheloghram ...... electriensephologram...... brain scan thingy.

How are these names for my daughter twins!

Brecklyn and Brooklyn

Jena and Jori

Brianne and Brynn

Editor's note: There will be no comment accompanying this entry, as the author was rushed to the hospital after trying to say these names aloud rapidly, and part of her jaw fell off.

We are expecting baby #2 in December. We already have a daughter Mackenzi Lynn who is 20 months old. What do you think of Kadince Mae (or Kadance, Kadence, Cadence) and calling her Kadi or Cadi for short? We call our daughter Kenzi, as I like a long name with shorter versions. Thanks.

Few realize the much of Leonardo da Vinci's later work was actually done by his trendy airhead sister Mackenzi ka Dinc e, particularly "his" later technical drawing OMG Avril is SOOOO KEWL!!!!11!!!!!

I appreciate that saying cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence in a way replicates what cadence is... if your definition of cadence is mostly wrong. Which is a moot point, 'cause I don't think she knows it's a word.

I am not pregnant yet, but thinking about names... I just thought of the name Lourdes Solange. This baby will be 75% Latina and 15% European. :)

... and 10% polyester.

Hello, I was wondering if anyone knew of a good site to go to to find a Native American name????
Please let me know. I was thinking of using it for a middle name if I found a name that went nicely with the first name.
Many Native names have really cool meanings.
Just wondering.
I am Mohawk if this helps.
Thank you for your help.

Sure you are, honey. Mohawks are widely known for maintaining their traditions - which they have to ask total strangers about - because they're "really cool." This belief is known in their language as "The Mother Spirit is way awesome. Number one! Woooo! Mohawks freakin' rule!"

She might want to consider Karé:ken Kaná:taro as a good Mohawk name. It means "White Bread."


Holy crap, she's got a WNBA team going. Trained in the ancient kung-fu arts by the Shaylynn monks.

So what are your opinions on Haven for a girl, and do you have any middle name suggestions? Don't worry about hurting my feelings, just be honest. My husband and I love this name. OH! I would really love to know your husbands' opinions on this name. It is just a theory of mine, so ask them if they are around. So I want you and your husbands' opinions, and any middle name suggestions. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU ALL!!!

Don't worry about hurting my feelings... it's just something I love and treasure, and even the blandest of unenthusiastic comments will break my heart into a million, billion pieces. No, really, give me your brutally honest opinion, so that your politely disagreeing comments will make a pregnant woman weep for days, which I'm sure you'll enjoy, you cruel, demonic wench.

Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark formulating theories about your husbands. No, I won't tell you what they are - I'll just let you suffer as you make me suffer. You pitiless cow.

So, what do you think of Haven?

Which name do you think?

Brecklyn Kate


Ridgely Mae

I'm torn between the two.

Thanks, Brooke

And I'm torn between why your name ideas are "Welshman recites New York's boroughs" and "The other guy from Wham."

Why not something hip and modern, like "Stetten Eeland" and "The bassist from Culture Club."

Which spelling is best for baby boy?







And which spelling is best for giving people an aneurysm? Angering them, making them treat you with malice, aversion, and tristain?

Here is a sample from Names Through the Ages by Teresa Norman.

Female names:

Aelfreda - elf strength

Agatha - pure, strength

Beatrix / Beatrice - bringer of happiness

Eadu - wealth

Edith - wealthy battle

Everild - boar battle

Muriel - sea bright

Osthryth - God's strength

Sigga - victory

Theode - people, nation

Male names:

Adhelm - noble helmet

Beorn - warrior, brave

Cenwig - brave in battle

Dunstan - hill stone

Eadmund - wealthy protection

Eadulf - wealthy wolf

Godric - God's ruler

Heahstan - tall stone

Tunric - town ruler

Tunwulf - town wolf

I don't really need to say anything here, do I? I mean, really, we're mostly adults here, we're reasonable people - do I really have to say anything about a name that means "wealthy wolf" and sounds like chronic sinus congestion?

Baby naming bulletin boards are peppered with people like this posting massive lists of medieval Norse, or Welsh, or Celtic names and their (cough) meanings. (Any Spanish or Italian or Greek or Farsi or Korean or Aztec or Egyptian or Gabonian names? No. Just the uber-pale peoples of the world.) Hiding amongst them are always a couple acceptable names, and the rest are chorus parts from Wagner's Ring cycle.

I'll be honest - I have no freakin' clue what these people are trying to accomplish.

What does everyone think about Oleander for a girl's, or possibly a boy's, name??? Cute nicknames??

This is from the International Oleander Society (note: it's their mission to promote this plant.):

Oleanders contain a toxin called Cardenolide Glycosides. The toxin is mostly contained in the sap which is clear to slightly milky colored, and sticky. When ingested in certain quantities, this toxin can cause harm - and possibly death. The extremely bitter and nauseating taste of the sap (much like a rotten lemon) causes a mechanical reflex in the stomach which rejects and expels the vile substance.

What do you think of the name Allegra? It is Italian, and means cheerful and lively.

Side effects are low in seasonal allergy users and may include headache, cold, or back pain. People with kidney ailments should consult their doctor before taking Allegra.

Look, it's just your bad luck when a product or TV character or popular porn star or Rick Santorum ends up having your name, but if they came out with it first.... just walk away.

We have narrowed our name choices for our daughter down to 3... Aidan, Ciara (Key-ara), or Sierra. We're worried about a few things with these names... mispronunciation, misspelling, and confusion for girl / boy. (I've lived with a very uncommon name and hated it, but seems like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!)

I am Italian and would like a bit of "Italy" in the name, since our last name is of Irish descent, and these first names are all pretty much Irish as well.

(A sample response):

For a middle name, I would suggest Caramia. I think Aiden Caramia would be pretty. Or Sierra Bella. (Can you tell I don't know much Italian?)

Seems the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and the tree has forgotten being a sapling. And has as firm a grasp on geography, gender, society, and ethnicity as our Mohawk buddy does on her Indo-Pakistani roots.

Just plain no comment of the response. Except that her knowledge of Italy is so limited, I'm amazed she realized "Italian" comes from "Italy." And she got her suggested name off a jar of marinated artichoke hearts.

I have started to have a real liking for 'made-up' names... I guess because they are so original. I have seen some really good ones on [a particular baby names hellhole] and I was wondering if you guys could tell me more! I'm not picky, I don't care if people have heard someone with the name before, etc., just anything that is really original and not technically a name...

These are the ones I've seen here that I love;



(these two are good because I love Olivia and Sophie, but find them too common)





That's all I can think of right this moment...

Also, I love word names... tell me all the word names you can think of!
I like;













And one more thing, I love place names... nice-sounding ones;






Any names that you would put in these three catergories that you think also sound nice would be appreciated! Thanks beforehand. :)

Yup, you just saw Journey twice.

Like 99.9 percent of people who think they've invented names, and that these names are oh-so-ungrotesque, she is mistaken on both counts.

On point one, they are almost always hybrids of two or more Celticy / Old Englishy names and only found in sci-fi / fantasy novels, role-playing games, and derivative fan fiction.

I looked ALL the "invented" names up on your behalf. Seeing as I have a pathological, bordering on irrational hatred of the fantasy genre, this was sort of like having a vegan volunteering to take a tour of the Hormel plant on your behalf:

Avrielle - some sort of role-playing squirrel beast on some guy's Web site. The site crashed my computer before I finished reading what the heck it was.

Olivianna - wizard guild site. I guess wizards need collective bargaining and union job protections.

Sophelia - Very popular with goths. I found it as a goth role-playing character, an over-affected pen and ink goth drawing, and a goth character in a Arthurian-type online novella with terrible web design.

Allorah is some sort of online psychic ("I see an ISP bill in your future..."), and Allora (no H) is a town of 1,500 in Queensland, Australia.

Fairith is mentioned on this guy's site, but I couldn't figure out what the hell he was going on about, and Babelfish doesn't have a translator for "Spell-casting wanker."

Sabriel is the title character of a real, actually-published book by Garth Nix in which "Sabriel is a necromancer, and as such is caught between two worlds. In her case, the worlds are Ancelstierre, where she grew up, and the Old Kingdom, where charter magic holds sway and her destiny lies." Which, if I'm not mistaken, is what it says on every fantasy book cover ever. The cover illustration holds up my theory, as Sabriel is depicted in the typical mystical elfin fantasy style: consumptive pencilneck in a doublet.

Katrien appears to be a name used in Belgium and the Netherlands - one of the first sites on a web search I found was "Dirk en Katrien's nude amateur homepage." Personally, I think it sounds sort of like the French for "eighty."

Samaya is the daily newspaper of the state of Orissa, in eastern India.

Ever is the European Association for Vision and Eye Research. As an adverb, it means, "at all times," as in, "One who thinks Ever is a name is ever crazy, and should be ever locked up."

ask names: Which the best pronunciation of names with Ken?

Ken Kami?

Ken Kadmon?

Ken Raphael?

Ken Kinkson?

I don't know, I don't want to know, what this guy's on.

I cannot see myself naming any of my children these names, but I wanted to know what everyone else thought. I found them in a magazine, and they are names of teen models:



Nellie / Nelly



All of these names were for girls by the way. :)

Ditto for these girls' parents AND the lady who submitted this, just because of her perky tone.

What do you think of the name Eitan (pr. Ay-tawn)? I saw it on a Bratz Boyz doll, and thought it was pretty cool.

Is there a classier place to get your child's name than from this strangely feminine fashion toy?

I thought not.

having twins... what names do you like?


Irelyn Knoah(pr: Noah)

Brelyn Riley(pr: Bre-Lynn)

Ashleigh Nicole

Braelyn Makendra
(pr: Bray-Lyn)


Ashlan Aydan

Bradyn Teague

Creighton Isaiah

Cayle Miciah

You know how to make fortune cookie fortunes funny, you add " bed" to the end? Try adding these names to serious news stories.

"Three-term U.S. Senator Braelyn Makendra Graham (D-Florida) is gearing up for a fierce fight going in to the New Hampshire primary."

"OPEC's decision to keep production capped at 25.4 million barrels a day was a wise move, says economist Ashlan Aydan Richardson."

"The members of the 2002 Pulitzer Prize Board included Louis D. Boccardi, president and CEO of the Associated Press; Tom Goldstein, dean of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism; and Wall Street Journal managing editor Irelyn Knoah Steiger."

So I know Leto is a girl's name, but I recently read a book where it was used for a boy, and thought that might be a good real boy's name. WDYT?


Yes, Leto is a girl's name... in ancient Greek mythology. Since then, it's usually used as slang by Tonight Show writers for when Jay Leno won't sign a joke into law. (Letos can only be overturned by a 2/3rds vote by the audience.)

My husband and I ... have begun the process of actually adopting an 8-month old girl with special needs. She has a name which neither my husband or I are fond of, and we would like to change it.

Her current name is: Rainey Marie

We'd like to maybe use Raine as a middle name.

Our choices (we'd love suggestions)

Annika Rain nickname Annie

Kaya Belle

Ivy Christine

nickname Livvie (we also love Olivia, but it's so common)

Quinn Rebecca

Saraya Rose nickname Sari

Phoebe Kiara

Gabriella Raine
nickname Bria

Audra Lark

Henry Matteo is the sibling name, and our last name is [removed].

Now I think these names are across the board awful, but it's especially mean to give a tough name to a kid with special needs. I remember reading a story in a magazine that included a girl with severe retardation named Cassiopeia. I can't even imagine her frustration.

Meanwhile, how amazing is it to find a kid named Henry, even if he has a rather ill-fitting middle name. Henry! A breath of friggin' air!

What would you name a sibling for....


Ok and let me say that I am NOT asking for opinions on the name Mackenzie. It has been said and done. I am asking what kind of sibling names you think would go well with Mackenzie. So please, no debates.


And if you hate the name so much you can't bear to think about it any longer, then don't reply... you're forgiven :).

OK, I think I've done plenty of ranting over 15 pages about people tailoring their kids into sets, but the idea that someone's ONLY requirement for a name is it "goes" with Mackenzie is so extreme it makes it hard to resist the urge to split my own head open with a mid-sized hatchet.

But that's not all! This post comes a day or so after a big-ass rumble over the name Mackenzie. (Well, as close to a rumble as you can get going on a baby name bulletin board - they are extreme in their censorship of even the most polite criticism.) This rumble is the reason for the going on... and on.... and on.... about why this mom doesn't want any opinions of Mackenzie, just suggestions.

SO, after obviously having knowledge of the debate, and a fear of it spilling over to her name search, does it strike anyone else as... shall we say, ill-conceived... that she ask these same people for a name where the only requirement is it "goes" with Mackenzie???

You'd think her fear of confrontation would drive her to, oh, I don't know, find ANY other parameter. ("we don't want to name her after any skin diseases.") As opposed to offering benediction in advance to people who commit the egregious sin of "if you can't say something nice, so don't say anything at all."

I loathe this entry.

Well, I would name a child Elisabeth or Alexander lol ... but otherwise

Emmarie, Delaney, Kendall, Kelsey, Eleri, Courtney, Mallory, Madison, Bronte, Michaela, Bethany, Caitlin, Kayleigh, Ashleigh, Brittany, Cassidy, Shannon, Peyton, Meredith, Addison, Ashlynn, Isabella, Morgana, Chelsea, Georgia, Taylor, Evelynn, Rowan, Kyleigh

Brandon, Logan, Elliot, Harrison, Jackson, Chandler, Wyatt, Garrett, Mitchell, Prentice, Westley, Griffin, Brendan, Zachary, Marshall, Randall, Braydon, Jefferson, Jamison

Well, my last comments were pretty wordy, so I'll cut this one short:


Which name(s) best fits these qualities? Consider nicknames, too.

1. Works well on a child or an adult

2. Feminine, but strong

3. Not popular or trendy






nickname Livvie (only used as a child)

Mattea nickname Thea

Maxine nickname Maxie (only used as a child)



Irony, you cold bitch. She pegs a couple number ones, some that are at least 50% number two, and two that are number three - but none that are all of them. How she plans to regulate her adult daughter's nicknames is beyond me.

And then there's Greenlie. Would someone, anyone, anywhere, please explain what she's smoking that she could ask for something mature and confident, and have Greenlie included as a possibility?

"I want to give my kid a strong, mature, classic name, so I'm calling her Dainty Froufroubottom."

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Bad Baby Names, Part 14: Voyage to the Bottom of the BBS

Part 14: Voyage to the Bottom of the BBS

Time to return to our roots - baby naming boards.

So what do you all think about Vegas Danielle??? Noone likes it, and my husband says I'm crazy. I really like it, but I don't want to name her that if everyone is just going to make fun of it. HELP!!!

My first entry here was "Well, I'm glad Peter Noone likes it, but how do the other Herman's Hermits feel?"

But reader Tigris thought this was a bit presumptuous of me, and suggested I write to Peter and find out what Noone REALLY thinks.

Noone wrote back right away. And sure enough, Noone likes it. In fact, that was his entire response: "I like it."

So now we have our answer! And we've had our very first celebrity guest appearance!

(Still no word on the other Hermits.)

We have one daughter, Haley Matisse. We're trying to decide which girl name to use next....

The list we can agree on (at least to consider) follows:






*Makenna / McKenna




We'd like to use Shaye, Grace, Raine, or Catherine as the middle name if possible.

Oh where to start!?

a) 20 bucks says if you asked Haley Matisse's mom, "Like the painter?", she'd have no clue what you were talking about. Much like Monet, it has become trendy.

b) She neglects the obvious names: Pablyn Picasso, Markenna Chagall, JoAhn Miro.

c) Merrigan is definitely a new one for me. I prefer Mexigan - it sounds so much more confused.

d) Gentry. (sigh.) MyddleKlas? Boodgewassey? (I'd suggest Hegemony, but I'm afraid someone will take me up on it.)

Lucida Grande Zenobia for a girl (plus you can use Zoe, Bea, or Zen as nicknames) and Japheth for a boy (jay fit)

The Mocha Lucida Grande Zenobia - now available at Starbucks.

Helpful reader codeman38 points out little Lucy - oh, I'm sorry, is the most obvious nickname too common? - OK, little Rande is also the default font for Mac OSX. You can download her, as perverted as that sounds, here.

I really like the name Giovanni for a girl, but it means John in English. We have not decided on a middle name yet, but are thinking about Page (my grandmother's maiden name), Sun (which means cheerful and calm), or Rose. (which my husband really likes)

The boy name that we have chosen is Dawson Alexander. What do you all think?

And another A+ for multicultural research. I just did a web search for "Giovanni baby name girl," and immediately got the feminine versions: Gianina and Giovanna.

Meanwhile, I think it's time to say a few words about gushing about a name's "meaning." Some meanings originate because the name evolved from real words (usually in a foreign language). And so their meanings are somewhat interesting.

And then some names have arbitrary meanings that for all I can tell were pulled out of a dead monkey's ass. For example, check out my good buddies the Kabalarians, who have insightful (cough) "meanings" for classy names like Beer and Toilet. I love the Kabalarians, because every one of their name analyses reads even more vague and general than the astrology listings in the newspaper.

And then some names don't have secret "meanings" because they are (dum dum DUM!) ALREADY WORDS. Sure, it'd be one hell of an irony if the name Sun meant "ugly fat pockmarked bastard," but I think it's a fair guess in English it means ... um ... wait, give me a second ... oh yeah, "sun." As in the giant ball of warmth and light that makes life possible for trees and flowers and baby bunnies and such.

Recently spotted on bulletin boards:



Real scary to me, but lots of people on the board thought they were "Wonderful!"

Well, it looks like someone missed this Spring's traditional showing of The Ten Commandments, probably because they were watching Sense & Sensibility again. But missed the scene where it's made clear Willoughby is the dashing cad's last name. Oh, and that Willoughby's a total bastard.

With more girls getting boys' names, and more boys getting wuss names, I'm thinking we're moving toward a society where men and women will be equal: a bunch of dainty nancies. It's names like Willoughby that give "Gay Mafia" conspiracy theorists food for thought.

I am a new mother, just found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago, and my boyfriend has already thought of names, and I just wanted to see what other people thought about them. Tequila AnJanette and Angel Jade or Matthew Dillian.

I am the owner of a website that makes fun of bad baby names, and I've been at this for about a year and I really like run-on sentences that make me sound like I'm 14, and perhaps live in mid-Appalachia like in eastern Kentucky maybe, or western West Virginia, and have been on a meth jag for seven or eight days and haven't slept, and the walls are melting and sometimes the carpet starts talking to me and tells me to name my kids after the booze that helped conceive them, or maybe ugly trinkets like my mom collects from QVC.

Let's play Spot the Issue. See if you can guess what my problems are going to be with the following essay in its abridged form.

(My daughter) Wellsley is named for Wellesley College in Mass.

I wanted to spell it with the middle "e," but we had close relatives "test-spell" it, and they repeatedly left out the "e."

Understand that we live in [the antithesis of New England] where very few people have ever heard of the college.

So, much to my personal disappointment, we decided to spell it Wellsley.

I must say, I love my daughter's name,
but I broke one of my golden rules by using a variant spelling, and I've regretted it ever since. ...

One of my biggies

and this is just a personal opinion,

(g cont.)
is that variant spellings tend to look uneducated,

and I have been concerned that my daughter will

eventually broaden her horizons beyond [where we live] and she will

appear to have a mother who didn't know how to spell "Wellesley."

... But here's the thing - - Wellsley starts kindergarten next fall.

If ever the time is right to make the change, it's now. ... So, given all of that data, what would you do???"

Parts I have issue with (score along at home): (a) duh. (c) also duh. (d) half credit. (e) Oh, must you? (f) see d. (h) "I don't want to offend anyone by acting like I really disagree." (i) concerned? (j) wouldn't that be awful. (k) So it's all about you now? (l) So she's five, and you haven't taught her to write her name? Yep, I think now's the time to shut the barn door.

Other comments: (b) strikes me as a good idea. (d) gets half-credit because she's actually right, but doesn't put her foot down. (g) is entirely correct. Damn you, irony!

The girls names my husband and I have decided on... ~ Legend Amaya ~ Malaijah (malaya) Jayne For boys, he and I have no clue. What do you think of these for first names? ~ Kamden ~ Raiden ~ Macen ~ Justice ~ Austin We like these for middle names........ ~ Clor ~ Ryo ~ Liam

I just spent 45 minutes under my desk shivering because of this one. I hope you're happy, little Malalalalaijah Raiden Clortrimiton!

(Side note: My boyfriend has just informed me Raiden is a Japanese thunder god, but is more commonly known in the West as a character from the Mortal Kombat games. Malalalalaijah Raiden Clortrimiton wins! FATALITY!!!!)

Come on, everyone, it's Forehead Slapping Time!

Hit yourself hard enough, and you'll be as smart as these people!

Vienna - Does anyone like it? I thought it was kinda pretty. The little girl is 4 who has this name. It's an Italian name.... and I thought it was pretty. What do you guys think?

Among the responses:

  • " It's a pretty name. I thought of Italy right when I saw it."
  • " It's pretty... I think of Vienna, Italy - the place - right away"
  • "It's kinda pretty, but it is very Italian-sounding, though."
  • "Pretty name, thought of Switzerland instantly!!"
  • "Not bad, but I do automatically think ... of Vienna sausages. Vienna is also a city in Austria, but I kind of like "place" names, so that works for me. I just can't get past the sausage reference."
Finally! A winner! (In a way.)

Dakota Diane or Sequoia Rose??? I am trying to conceive and I would like your input on the names Dakota Diane and Seqouia Rose. I have 4 other children with somewhat unusual names... at least, my first two have unique names.

Their names are: Khassendra Keeliey-Morgan, Malachi Elzer, StevenJerald, Kegan Andrew

It's hypnotic. I can't stop looking at it. Khassendra. Keeliey. My God.... it's full of vowels!

We already have an Emmet Moon and Gus (Gustav) Star (5-year-old twins) and Abe (Abraham) Kodiak. So what should Gus, Emmet and Abe's new sibling be called?

Is "The Plaintiff" already taken?

I was thinking of Silas Rain, Silas Jasper, or Jasper Rain for a boy and Hazel Rain, Hazel Sunshine, Pearl Magnolia, or Pearl Sunshine for a girl.. We chose (so far) Boys

1. Skyler Nicholas 2. Sawyer Angus ...

Girls 1. Sailor Catherine 2. Summer Judy 3. Sunday Mae (Sunday is a family name) 4. Sierra Rebekah 5. Shelby Chandra

Uh oh, I smell Deadheads! I hope there's enough room in the vanagon for the trip to the Phish concert in Waukeegan.

We have a daughter, Payton Isabel and a son, Cade Andrew. We don't know the sex of the baby, but like unusual names. We have been tossing around Golden as a middle name for a girl, but we are at a standstill for first names. We have talked about Maddox (boy) and Storey (girl), but would love some other ideas.

Oh yeah, I remember Storey Golden Books. I think I had their 25¢ version of the Pokey Little Puppy Goes Rabid.

I have a daughter named Ryan Sue and I am pregnant with #2. ... I like unusual names too, but not too out there, so here are some names I like: BOYS Cole, Cale, Casen, Alden, Kellen, Jackson ...

GIRLS Campbell (maybe nickname Ella??), Callahan (nickname Callie), Delaney (nickname Laney??), Piper, Kendall, Addison, Raegan, Avery, Linden, Kennedy, Trinity, Carson

Ow! Son of a... Reading off all those K sounds made my epiglottis fall off!

Girls: Ainslie, Annistyn, Brinley, Baylie, Bryony, Brylie, Camden, Kennedi, Macy, Tatum, Kinsey, Kinslie, Makenna, Rylie, Kylie, Cambria, Brynn

Boys: Ethan, Chase, Bennett, Ryder, Cyder - Cy - rhymes with fly, Avrett, Hunter, Bryce

In honor of this entry, and all the other entries painfully similar, I've written a song. (Just guess at a tune. It's jauntier that way!)

I'm in love with Y's! They make my poor heart fly! Nothing makes me sigh like a name that's crammed with Y's! As you can surmise, for me, Y's, they hypnotize!

I'm in love with Y's! Without Y's, I would die! For me, Y's take the prize, no matter who or where or why! I like Y's super-sized like an order of French fries!

(bridge) Last names for first, they're the only kind for me. But without a bunch of Y's, they lack a certain joi de vivre. Y's have been neglected, their mistreatment is so petty. I'll throw them around like so much New Year's confetti!

(Everybody!) I'm in love with Y's! They make my poor heart fly! Nothing makes me sigh like a name that's crammed with Y's! As you can surmise, for me, Y's, they hypnotize!

(Take it home now!) I'm in love with Y's! Without Y's, I would die! For me, Y's take the prize, no matter who or where or why! I like Y's super-sized like an or! der! of! French! friiiiiiiiiiiies!

girls - Ireland, Adaire, Lorelei, Windsor, Honor (I love!), Winslow, Wetherly, Waverly, Ellery, Maryn, Larson, Delaney, Rainer, Landry, Greer

boys - Afton, Jarrett, Mills, Pierson, Langdon, Locke, Linc, Asher, Stanton, Sadler, Calder, Rafe, Rans, Jantzen, Slater, Ames,

Sorry, this doesn't get a song. Just a steely gaze of pure hatred.

I am having my second son a week from today, and his name is Maddox. He will be joining his big brother Jackson. My favorite unique girl names are Scout and Piper.

Boys names = middleweight boxers. Girls names = types of turbo-prop airplanes.

In response to the question, "What are some of these people smoking?" some wacky namers ever-so-kindly explain why f*ed-up names are the most bestest of all.

... I didn't want to name my children the same name as everyone else. I am proud that my children are individuals, and they are very proud of their names. Most people say, "I love that! What name book did you get that name from?" My kids' names are: Wesson, Colt, Nika and Axel.

... and they're especially proud to be named after consumer goods!

(Another writer, on teasing)... My friend just named her daughter Orchid Willow, but she is going to be homeschooled. Her son's name is Sage Wolfgang, which is very fitting for him.

Do I really have to say anything about this? I mean, really? If you didn't just see at least three reasons to drop your jaw to the floor with a prodigious clang, you're not allowed to read my website any more. Thank you for coming.

I think it is wonderful that they have such great imagination, and discover such unique names. ... Kids will take any name and make fun of them. Most likely, the unusual names will not be joked about. It is the names you can rhyme with that are made fun of. ...

My name is Diana. When I was in 5th grade, the Michael Jackson song Dirty Diana came out. Oh, but I was never teased because 10-year-olds aren't smart enough to come up with taunts that involve "banana" or "Guyana." (Phew!)

Once you've repeated a name so many times, you can't tell if it sounds right. Which of these "flo"? We get mixed reactions from friends and family, mostly frowns. Thanks again.

Ivory Jayde Searra Capri Cassidy Raine

"One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same..."

Check that - none of these things are like the other. Ivory = Bone. White. Jade (no matter how you spell it): Rock. Shade of green. Sierra = Mountains. US. Capri = Island. Other side of the planet. "Flo" = the waitress on Alice. "Flow" - Actual word. "Pain" - what I'm currently experiencing. "Medication" = what we both need.

I am going to become a mother in July to a baby girl, and I am having trouble deciding on a name. My husband and I have come up with several so far, but my favorite is Journey Kate. What does everyone think of this?

Damn it, now I've got Wheel in the Sky in my head! Multiply that by 10,000 and that's what her life will be like.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet my arch-nemesis:

My hubby got on a kick of the names rhyming, believing we would have no more. Lol, we are due in November! So, I am in a tight place. My daughter is Kaesyn Paige (Jason with a "K"), and my son is Richard Brycin. (goes by middle name)

If this baby is a girl, her name will be Adecyn Shai (Addison Shay)...

I need a name with the "sin" sound, not the spelling! Lol! I am not fond of Jaxon, but my husband likes Aryxon (Erikson), and I am fond of Tycen. ...

New naming rule: If in typing the name out, you have to follow it immediately with another version in parentheses, because otherwise no one would have the slightest clue this was supposed to be a name and not Klingon for "Wax my forehead, supple wench," this is a bad, bad, whoa bad bad name.

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Bad Baby Names, Part 13: Fellow Collectors

Part 13: Fellow Collectors

I get lots and lots of emails from people with one or two weird names they've seen or heard, but rarely do I meet another person who collects them like other people collect stamps or baseball cards. I think we should start a club, and demand caconomenology - the study of ugly names - be recognized as a serious hobby, if not an Olympic sport.

Which brings us to Lauren. Lauren's a college student from Tennessee who has joined the fight against silly baby names. Ever since she worked in the baby department at Old Navy, she has been cataloging bad baby names in a Bad Name of the Day email.

Her hunting grounds are even more unfortunate than mine - while I tend toward online bulletin boards, where pregnant ladies fish for ideas and maybe, MAYBE can be dissuaded, Lauren scours birth announcements and yearbooks, meaning the kids ALREADY have been saddled with these names and there's no turning back.

After seeing the copious lists she's got compiled, I just HAD to give her her own page. (She's also asked me to plug her Web site, where she addresses another vital issue of cluelessness: the mullet.)

I've tried to sort them by type of insanity, but some of them just plain defy explanation. I've left most joke-free, because sometimes, especially with a list this long and horrifying, it's hard to say something funnier than the name itself.

(Yup, I've gotten so busy - or lazy, take your pick - I'm collecting names AND jokes from readers. Sad, really.)

Keerazee cpellyngz

Jaxson Abelardo

Adyn Bridger

Antwon Lydell

This one drives me crazy. Antoine is a perfectly good name - if you really don't think people can pronounce it, pick something else. Otherwise it looks like the results of Ant vs. Rubbertree. Yup, Ant won.

Skylar Makinzy

Jayden Mokol

Cleo Janene

Kittie Catheryn

Despite her allergies, Mom was determined to have a pet cat by one means or another. - Katie

Karryllinne Sweet

I must've stared at this for five minutes before I figured out it's just Caroline.

Cornelius Donyell

Trebor Dallas

Schuylar Daymen

Dominick Kaaynen

Duglass Link

Kenadeigh Aiden

I never, in a million years, would have thought someone would have screwed with 'Kennedy.' Yes, caconomenology is a field of limitless surprises.

Jarret Kaylub

Nicklaus Santana

Destin Booth

Syllable exchange program

Kapsidee Faith

Keilynn Patrina

Deshawn Dewayne

De pain! De pain!

Zoe Brelee

Charnecia Essence

Joycelin Corin

Keryona Shaleen

Jevonnie Cortez

Myan Asher

Tabeley Hayden
... coz Mom's a tabeley dancer!

Kaimen Haze

I'm guessing that was dad's contribution to the conception. - SaintHedju

Camden Mayze
My people call it 'Camden Corn.'

Jamanda Erynn

Tylette Rasheen

... or perhaps Tylette Brush or Tylette Duck.

Kayjia Deejai

Kaeden Jeremy

Ryker Taybe

McKenna Jayden

Nico Kishawn

Bralyn Delmaiah

Zaviana Nykova

Nouns, celebrities, and other random words

Emmaleigh Rayven

Mailbu Cheyenne

Question: Does Mom have a basic atlas? Answer: Malibu Cheyenne.

Delta Eta

I remember this frat from college! They had the BEST parties!
At least, I think it was them, I don't really remember... there was something about a keg and a sheep...
- Tobi

Ram Thorne

OK, show of hands. How many vote "romance novel character"? And how many vote, "mid-sized truck with four-wheel drive"? OK, put your hands down, I can't actually see them, you know.

Diamond Caprice

Sapphire Begonia

Impala Sedan

No. This must be a joke. The "place of conception" naming trend has gone pretty far, but this, this is fake... right? Pretty please?

However, I hear she has a roomy backseat. - Katie

Xenia Starr

July Kaeleigh

Captain Bonar
The new comic book mascot for Viagra.

Marigold Pasture

Lexus Deshay

Aspen Nyckolle

Gunnar Blayz

Says Lauren: This one sounds like an 80s arcade game.

Slade Claxton

Santana Key

Coral Oceana

Ink Brinley

Perry White's successor as the Daily Planet's editor.

Nova Payge

Odessa Mari

Isn't she Cala's sister? - Shawn

Stetson Colone

More from Lauren: "I used to babysit these 3 kids, and the oldest used to come home from school crying because the kids made fun of his name, and his mother 'just couldn't understand why they'd do such a thing!'"

Ford Lightning

Available with 4-wheel drive, anti-lock brakes, GPS navigator, and tremendous ego. - Katie

Celestial Rage
"Hello, I'm Celestial Rage! My mom's fifteen and she has black hair, black fingernails, a tattoo of a dragon on her ass, and she plays in a garage band. Will you be my friend?"

Saxon Darvun

Aaliyah Angelic

McCall Jada

Affleck Lamar

Well, there go two years of hypnotherapy down the drain. Do you have any idea how much it cost me to block out the memory of having seen Armageddon??

Sierra Reese

Kage Rodan
The people of Japan have tried for years to kage Rodan ever since he escaped Monster Island.

Steele Gage

What gage of steele should they make the kage out of?

Cambo Gage
Of course! They should use cambo gage steele to kage Rodan!

Snootily snootful

Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of My, But Your Ascot is Smashing This Polo Season, presented by the Yale Class of 1914 Gilbert & Sullivan Society.

Cooper Harrison

Chandler Moore

Devon Jasper

Xander Dru

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan Shannon points out these are two of the show's characters. Xander is a lovable "a loser vampire hunter who lives in his parents' basement," and Dru is "an insane female vampire who loves killing, sex, and being spooky, in that order." So does this name engender any.... um.... conflict? Yes. Does this name show that people who watch too much of the WB need targeted contraceptive assistance? Definitely.

Maddux Bryce

Harper Bennett

Lennox Dane

Guenther Bronwyn

Trayton Vance

Porter Starling

Gayden Sledge

Brock Cain

Enil Lionel

Brady Perrin

Blakely Grayben

Maston Greene

Young Quinley

Brighton Dade

Brigdon Krewe

Payton Dawson

Philena Gayle

Kace Grayson

Kylie Haven

Lansing Wade

Mason Rex

Preston Price

Knox Scott

Ryland Colton

Thurston Rafe

Foyle Trever

Total Freakin' Mysteries

JaCobi Terriyon

KenAira LaTissa

De'Zonia Vianca

Crimson Tobias

Seneca Ray-shun

Renyhia Teaunna

La'Renta Ramon

Dayzunique Tylettrell Deiondrianiece

Sloe Harlotte

... and her sister, Retarded Prostitute. - Natalie

Brogdon Fynn

Haidyn Elyssah

Phaire Ayven

Sing-a-long time! "Ain't Miss Phaire Ayven, I'm savin' all my love for yooooou!"

Quielle Delashawndra

Kimper Daylin

Daanan Blaise

Oralia Shari

Sisson Pairote

Dyce Hanley
Only a sucker would play craps with Dyce Hanley.

Azontay Kevon

Tavian Emerland

Paytrus Cornelius

Dotan Mathias

Blant Mykah

Dagan Gore

Guess That Name!

Yes, it's time for Guess That Name, the fabulous game show where we show you the outlandish spelling for a common name, and you stab wildly in the dark trying to figure out what the hell it is! Ready? OK, let's go!







Sydnyee, Cidne


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