Saturday, January 31, 2009

Imagine getting fixed up with the same guy TWICE!

This temperamental beast restarted AGAIN! UGH!

These are from my copy of America's Dumbest Dates: Over 500 Tales of Fumbled Flirtations.

First Impressions

"I wanted to impress Jeff, so I insisted on driving. I got into the driver's seat and, with infinite grace and aplomb, slammed my hand into the car door. My fingers swelled up like golf balls. We spent our date in the emergency room, where I got my rings cut off and fourteen stitches in my pinkie. He was impressed, believe me." - Meg.

"When Walt asked me out, he said I should cook and he'd bring the entertainment. Turned out he was an Amway salesman. The "entertainment" was their packaged presentation. It wasn't enough that I'd cooked; he wanted me to buy his detergent, too." - Amy, age 30.

"For our first date, I invited Joe to dinner. He brought Tupperware, to take home the leftovers." - Sophia, age 35.

"Howard didn't want to date me; he wanted to date my skirt. When he asked me out, I was wearing this skintight, lime-green suede miniskirt. When he came to get me, his face fell. He pouted and asked where the skirt was." - Gigi, age 35.

"When she opened the door, I was expecting her to be someone else. I'd met her and her girlfriend at the same time, and I'd intended to call the other one. I got their names mixed up. I tried to explain, and she threw me out." - Ethan, age 33.

"In her personal ad, she'd described herself as having a "great mind, greater body. Stunning." By "great," she must have meant "large." But she was right about the stunning part. I was quite stunned. In fact, I was speechless." - Louie, age 37.

"Lance invited me over for a drink. The door was open. He yelled, "Come in," and greeted me, wearing nothing but a silk smoking jacket. It struck me as funny, and I burst out laughing. He made me a drink and sat there, in the jacket and his birthday suit, acting as if everything was completely normal. We talked. I had a couple of drinks and left. Neither of us mentioned the fact that he was naked. Actually, he was a perfect gentleman." - Sally, age 33.

"When he asked me out, he was wearing a baseball cap. When he came to get me, he wasn't wearing it. I didn't recognize him. He was completely bald, not a hair on his head. Not an eyebrow." - Erin, age 24.

"Ben took me out and introduced me to his car. "This is Suzy," he said, "Isn't she beautiful? She's not just a Trans Am. She's my baby." Then he stroked the hood." - Beth, age 27.

"In anticipation of our date, Curtis sent me poetry - about eternal love, reincarnation, knowing me in another lifetime. Fate and destiny. It was scary. Especially the meter." - Ruth, age 30.

"I hired a guy to write a brochure for work. The guy messed up the job and missed the deadline, so I chewed him out and fired him. Guess who my blind date was the next Saturday night?" - Dodie, age 36.

"I got fixed up with the same guy twice. He was just as boring the second time. The first date was so dull that neither of us had even remembered the other's name." - Marcia, age 35.

"On our first date, Wes brought his buddy along. They sat shoulder to shoulder, snickered at private jokes, whispered. I wondered, what am I doing here? And then, when they both dropped me off, Wes asked if I wanted to go out again next week." - Lynda, age 33.

"On our first date, as he walked toward me for the first time, I saw that he had no right arm. I was upset, wondering what could have happened to him. A car accident? Bone cancer? It was such a shame. I tried hard not to let my eyes drift down to where his arm should have been; I didn't want him to feel self-conscious. But I was nervous. I stuttered, babbled, heard myself sound absolutely brainless as we greeted each other. Finally, he said "We ought to get going," and from behind his back, his right arm suddenly appeared to guide me to the car. I was stunned. Speechless. He might as well have pulled out a herd of elephants. Or a dozen naked ladies. I was in a cold sweat, traumatized, and our date hadn't even started yet." - Leslie, age 28.

"So there I am, telling her about my pal Al, who we're going to double with. And guess who her first heartthrob was? Guess who broke her heart in tenth grade? Guess who never got over it?" - Warren, age 33.

"After our first date, Gary left a Polaroid of his erection on my windshield - with a note telling me to call him when I was ready to go out again." - Linda, age 39.

"When I got home, I realized that the back seam of my pants had split wide open. Did it happen when I sat down in the car to come home, after I'd put on my jacket? Or had it happened earlier? The whole time we were at the party, did everyone have a view of my panties? My date said nothing to me about it; was he laughing behind my back?" - Renee, age 22.

"The FRIEND who fixed me up with Luigi neglected to tell me that he spoke no English - well, except KISS ME QUICK." - Carla, age 44.

"Paul asked me out by giving me a list of several professional or formal social functions to attend - not by inviting me to a movie, or to have a drink. When I said I'd like to spend our first date alone so we could get to know each other, he took out his calendar and said his first free weekend was in July, seven months away." - Carolyn, age 36.

"I got fixed up with my ex-husband. Hadn't seen him in fourteen years. He'd gained about forty pounds, lost his hair. And I guess he needs glasses, because he didn't even recognize me. I had to TELL him who I was. Shortest date I ever had." - Colleen, age 55.

"Julie brought her Chihuahua along. It looked like a half-starved rat and rode in a little bag she had specially made for it. She told me she takes him everywhere. If he can't go someplace, she won't either. Whenever I came close to her, the thing growled, and Julie cooed, "Oh, precious poochie's so protective of Mommy." And she fed him morsels of her dinner. I paid for the dog to eat veal Oscar." - Reed, age 31.

"The earring in her eyebrow? Well, okay. The one in her tongue? Goodnight." - Ed, age 27.

"Amber's mother came with us on our date. It started out that she asked if I could drop her mom off at her apartment, but on the way, Mama mentioned that she was dying for a steak. Before I knew it, I was watching her chow down on a blood-red New York strip. They had a great time. I didn't get a word in edgewise, until the waitress asked who'd take the check." - Webster, age 29.

"He showed up in a pink suit and told me not to call him Jeff; he preferred Flash. When he wanted my attention, he grunted or made animal sounds. And he complained about my clothes, that I should loosen up and wear something with feathers." - Stella, age 47.

"When he asked me out, he was wearing a three-piece suit. When he picked me up, he was in leather pants, torn shirt, denim vest, a Nazi helmet, and he was riding a Harley." - Marie, age 24.

"I was late for our first date - really late, like maybe four hours. And it was her birthday. So she got mad and, I guess, rightfully so. But I ring the doorbell and the first thing I know, the door opens and there's a pie in my face. I saw it coming, but had no time to duck. Whipped cream was coming out of my nose. What could I do? I grabbed her, kissed her, and licked whipped cream." - Les, age 29.

"Her mom entertained me in the living room, and explained that Justine was running late, finishing with an earlier "appointment" in the family room. Her mom explained that Justine was systematic, determined to get what she wanted, and had lined up two or three dates a night until she'd found the right man." - Floyd, age 24.

"She gave me lousy directions, so I got lost on the way to her house. I called from the car and got even lousier directions. I called again, and finally she had her roommate give me directions. By the time I got there, I'd been in the car almost two hours. I was sweaty and wasted, and she had an attitude because I was late. She greeted me with, 'Finally. I was about to give up and go out with my friends.' " - Ned, age 34.

"Ira asked me why I didn't wear false eyelashes, and he suggested that I wear heavier foundation. A lot more makeup." - Cathryn, age 27.

"He cracked his knuckles once every seven seconds through the whole movie. As soon as you thought he was done, that maygbe he was going to relax, he'd crack them again." - Barbara, age 27.

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54 minutes and kindergarten!

High-scoring words of the night so far:

ARRAYED (162 points) - against Laynie P. [two 3W]
CLAYIER (725 points) - against Alice P. [5W, two 3W]
NUANCES (101 points) - against Cathryn D. [4W, hook off HEART for a plural]

John was a bit late picking me up, but that was because he went on auto-pilot since he takes the same route to and from work... the same thing happened on the way home! Talked about Chinese New Year, Pearl Castle, my sister's work, bubble tea, sugar, caffeine, and Ada being in New York last week. I guided the kids to the elevator when we were the lucky last ones in the parkade, and took Sean's coat off for him. (I also helped him put it on later - he had his arms extended... so cute!) Saw Chrystal, who thanked me for the card. Ian M. waved to me again when the Cubbies went upstairs: I think it's cool. Talked to Sean a bit about "54 minutes! Saturday! Monday! Kindergarten!" Heh, he's cute! Apparently, I was so quiet that Auntie Vivian didn't notice I was there, haha. Got one thing done, and confirmed my attendance at the Child Protection Seminar. As long as I don't forget, it'll be fine! Must get a ride home after that, too.

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Milkshakes, FAMILY GUY, and popcorn (survey)

High-scoring word of the day:

AXLES (145 points) - against Angela V. [5W, 2W]

Called Henry to see what his car's status was. It was time to call in my backup, so I advised Ada of the fact that I'd need a ride to Awana. She said that she wasn't going since she was sick, but John would take the boys to church. Hey, it all works out if he can also pick me up on the way! Thank goodness for giving people, haha.

Here's a Facebook survey from Billie:

1. Can you listen to music while reading a book? Of course!

2. Do you wish you could ever hug yourself to see if you're a good hugger? Such a random question. Probably not. [good answer]

3. Do you think you give good hugs? Do you even like hugging? I guess so... it really depends.

4. What's something other than a fruit that you love in milkshakes? Chocolate!

5. What is your all-time FAVORITE milkshake? Cappuccino!

6. Is your best friend TRULY a best friend? Or not? For sure!

7. Someone drops $5 without noticing. Would you grab it? I would point it out to them, and hope they heard me. [good answer]

8. Is there a certain guy that you can't get OFF your mind? Definitely not!

9. Do you wish summer could come just about now? You bet! Being too hot is better than being too cold, after all! (Henry and I agree on this)

10. Do you miss the beach at all? Or miss tanning? I don't go to the beach or tan much, but I do miss it! (and no, tanning beds are NOT the same thing!)

11. Is there a particular someone you can't help but stare at frequently? HA. As if!

12. Do you love Family Guy? Isn't it the best show ever? It's hilarious!

13. Aren't you sick of the same old basic boring surveys? Not really, as long as the questions aren't too formulaic and boring!

14. Do you ever look ahead of the calendar to see what school days you have off? I probably did this while I was in school.

15. Are Monday mornings the hardest mornings to wake up to? All mornings are hard to wake up to. [awesome answer!]

16. Have you ever cried silent tears during a song you were listening to? Maybe. ;)

17. Do you have a cat that stares and meows at you often? Hahaha, no.

18. What's the latest you've ever stayed up reading a book? Till at least 3 AM.

19. Drama, Lies, Tears, Cheers To The Teenage Years! Do you agree? Wonder who came up with THAT descriptor! But sure, why not.

20. Can you really ever relate to song lyrics? Yup!

21. Have you ever seen a really ugly dog, but pretended it was cute? Um, NO. Why would I even DO such a thing?!

22. Do you like your popcorn regular, or do you put those flavored salts on? Buttered is good, although some of those flavored salts are pretty great too.

23. Are the teenage years most definitely the hardest years to go through? Yes.

24. Can others tell when you're having an extremely bad day? Sometimes, but I hide it well.

25. Do you like cream cheese on your bagels? Do you ever toast your bagels? I used to toast them, and cream cheese was pretty good on them. Then again, we used to put peanut butter on them too...

26. When having a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, what is the best kind of jelly? Strawberry!

27. Is shredded Parmesan better than grated Parmesan? I don't think there's THAT much of a difference!

28. How come most infomercials are on after midnight? Because no one is up to see them. haha. Infomercials are so lame. [good answer]

29. Speaking of infomercials, do you think they should play more during the day? No!

30. Do you like those flavored cream cheeses? Or just regular cream cheese? I remember trying smoked salmon cream cheese, and also dill pickle cream cheese. May also have tried blueberry, and strawberry. They're all right, I suppose.

31. "Food tastes better after midnight." Do you agree with this statement? Meh, it all tastes the same unless you're REALLY hungry!

32. Did your parents ever have bad acne when they were kids / teens? Possibly.

33. Is your hair unhealthy or breaking? Do you have any split ends? Yes.

34. Have you ever stayed home from school just because you were WAY too tired? That wouldn't have flown with my parents, so probably not.

35. Do you enjoy making the surveys more, or taking the surveys? Taking them... I think I'm too lazy to attempt making even a simple one. :P

36. Is your pet lactose-intolerant? Are you lactose-intolerant? I have no pets, and don't think I'm THAT lactose-intolerant...

37. Would you like a non-virgin Pina Colada or Daiquiri? Sure!

38. Do you like to eat frozen dinners now and then? Are they a quick filler? Sometimes, yes. A couple of years ago, I'd eat those on Friday for dinner since I had no time to leisurely eat a full meal!

39. Did you hate being forced to stand and sing the national anthem as a kid? Nah, it was okay. I even remember being forced to stand and say the Lord's Prayer at school until they banned it.

40. Do you wish you had fifty bucks right now? Fifty bucks?! GIMME! [great answer!]

41. How do you feel about having a crush on someone? Is it fun, or a hassle? It can be fun, but it always seems to turn out into a hassle for me. :P

42. How do you feel about boyfriend stealers? Have you ever stolen someone's boyfriend? I've never stolen someone's boyfriend before. As far as I know, I had competition in the form of two people. Those people (and other boyfriend thieves) need to get a life, or be cheated on! Then they'll know how it feels!

43. How do you feel about Starbucks? Is it addicting? (I'm addicted) Starbucks is cool, but I'm not addicted.

44. Did you like Dunkaroos, Gushers, Fruit Roll-Ups, and such as a kid? OH MAN. YES, I DID.

45. Speaking of those goodies, do you still like to have them now and then? DEFINITELY!

46. I dunno about you, but I LOVE music! Is music a huge part of your life? You bet!

47. When you make someone's day, do you feel really good inside? Totally.

48. Favorite Disney character? Aladdin!

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Steam Works works as a dinner place - yay, MissionsFest!

High-scoring words of the night so far:

UNYOKES (174 points) - against Linda B. [4W, 3L on Y] (a good deficit-erasing word!)
QUAIL (135 points) - against Angela V. [5W, 2L on Q]
VISITOR (171 points) - against Cathy S. [4W]

I met Eric more or less on time, although I somehow couldn't recognize the car until it got closer to me. I think this is where my vision problems will start; yikes! No, I couldn't hear him yelling my name out the car window. Eric alternately teased me about a certain subject and blamed me for the city's latest homicide: I do NOT go around killing old men in their apartments, thanks! Good thing he didn't try blaming me for the child sex tourism laws! We made it to Canada Place with ten minutes to spare: I said hi to Mike T., Emily C., and Jonathan in the lobby before grabbing a Missions Fest guide to read. Eric and I had no time to eat, but at least I felt safe with him around so I wouldn't get lost. He even told me to take the elevator instead of the stairs - good deal!

I stuck close to Eric all night, especially when trying to find a seat. It was very crowded since Tony Campolo was speaking: they even opened up a back part of the exhibit room, which they never do! He found Calla and Johnny, so we decided to sit by them and their friends when he couldn't find anyone else. Good thing, since it REALLY started to fill up afterwards! Unfortunately, we had to let a certain person in, but it's okay. I let Eric borrow my pen to write on an offering envelope, and he threw it back into my bag later - all good, hehe. Campolo gave a challenging talk about anti-consumerism, filled with humor. It was fine, but there was this annoying lady behind me who kept saying "Come on!" (in a positive way) to almost every point he tried to make. I had to content myself with glaring at her, haha. (and the enforced friendliness of handshaking? NOT GOOD, haha.)

Afterwards, we said hi to Chung and Karen... then headed over to where people were congregating around Sarah and Hannah. Talked to them, their brother Lucas, Cindy (more laryngitis!), Vanessa, Steph, Vivian, and Christon for a while before heading over to the exhibits. Good to hear that Sarah is volunteering, and that Vernon is coaching volleyball. Wandered over to the exhibits, and spent some time looking around. Bumped into Mark, Sam, Tony, Ivan (who I talked to for a minute), Amasiah, Sonya, Emily L., Mike K., Lanie, and Joey before finding Jon at the International Justice Ministry booth. Waved to Jeremy's brother since he did the same for me, and asked what was going on since there seemed to be a funny story in progress at the time.

Jeremy said that Mark had come here from Kelowna on a school field trip, and the guys wanted to go to a bar on Davie St. The only problem was that the guys didn't know what Davie St. is famous for! (gays!) So of course Jon was making jokes about how the guys would walk in and be disappointed at the lack of chicks - "why are all the guys here paired up?!" Hahahaha. Reminded me of something in the MissionsFest guide about a seminar led by "people cured of homosexuality" and another descriptor about "155 million people in the world suffering with homosexuality." That's the guide's words, NOT mine! Shortly afterwards, they left since Jeremy has to work, and 5:30 AM comes pretty early!

After some hanging around the booth (Henry came up with Andrew and Michelle C., and wanted to know if Jon could give him justice), we learned about human trafficking and such in Cambodia. Daniel and Michelle W. came up, just in time for Nathan to find us as well. Jon remarked that everyone from our church who was at MissionsFest had come by to see him: "It's like I have my own fan club!" Pastor John and Stanford had a discussion about football while Nathan, Eric, Jon, Christon, and I made plans for later. Since Jon would meet us at Steam Works later, we went to the book section.

We looked through the books (I joked that Eric should buy a Chinese book) until Eric and I got pretty hungry. Said bye to Mike T., Emily C. (talked about Chrystal - I understand the nature of stuff), Vivian, Dylan, Deb, and others on our way out. Steam Works was a good time, as usual - except that the stupid ATM refused to work. Eric and I FINALLY had our dinner - burger and linguini with pale ale and tea, anyone? Oh well... at least I got to go home just before midnight! Discussed free beer / coffee / pizza, J.J. Beans, Andy, Nathan's future kid being named Tobias after the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT character, blue cheese and bacon on pizza, yam fries, Toronto, plans, the organ "murder" music, Wordscraper, my random non-logical mind, Steph's whereabouts (NO idea), humor, challenges, mishearings ("Jon and Christon are NOT going out!"), sushi and sake, spending a lot of money on food, saying "Randal / Martin / Dylan" in French accents, how I shouldn't blame Korey for everything (I'm not - it's just how HE ruined my friendships!), hockey pool stuff, and more. Now I must get SOME sleep! Eric Ho also left me messages, which of course I wasn't around to get - maybe next time!

Misreadings of the night:

1. "Prepare for a Gruesome Retirement" (in my Gmail news) - I read this as "Prepare for a Gruesome RESTAURANT." Of course, my morbid curiosity was aroused!

2. "Well, be prepared next time!" (Corey, upon learning that Eric and I had nothing to egg the Church of Scientology with - we passed it on the way to MissionsFest) ... I read this as "Well, be PREGNANT next time!" Oh dear.

Poo nugget for this weekend: The Longest Hour and a Half - On January 31, 2007, a Pennsylvania man became stuck in a portable toilet when he dropped his keys in the toilet and tried to rescue them. After forty-five minutes of yelling, children playing in a nearby field heard his screams and went for help. He was rescued by police after an hour and a half of standing in waste without shoes or pants. The portable toilet had to be demolished to get him out. Afterward, doctors treated him for minor injuries and removed the toilet seat, which had become wedged around his midsection.

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Friday, January 30, 2009

Why would Fitness World call me?!

High-scoring word of the day:

AVERT (108 points) - against Mimi F.-B. [two 3W]

Took a shower earlier today, and consequently missed calls from Fitness World (?!) and Henry. So I turned the phone on, which turned out to be a good thing since Andrea called me shortly afterwards. She realized just this morning that we'd made plans to hang out tonight before MissionsFest. I said that I had thought about it, and realized that it might be too rushed beforehand even if I bused out, especially with the parking situation by Canada Place. (can you tell I don't like being rushed around? :D)

She doesn't like the food court stuff, as it's too expensive - true, but what can you do? At least we'll probably see each other at the plenary session... if not then, we'll most likely bump into each other at the exhibits! Maybe I'll save seats for people if I get there early enough, but I probably won't. (I won't do that on Sunday, either...) But I must make it a point to ask Raymond about his Dine Out Vancouver dinner - he said he'd tell me about it, but you can never tell. Haha. This is the same guy who said he'd send me an e-card for the holidays, but didn't deliver. Oh well, I've forgiven him for that! (he amused me yesterday - at first confusing me - by commenting on my play of JOEY for 68 points: "you played a church brother's name and got that many points?!")

Must take out money from the bank if possible, since I bet Jon will want to go to Steamworks for beer afterwards like we did the past two years running. (it IS right down the street, after all...) Then I called Eric to confirm plans - THE INTERSECTION at 6 it IS! I should remember to take these cards to MissionsFest, too. Henry called me back to tell me about car trouble affecting the Awana ride - I don't mind if he calls me with more information tomorrow, but I should have a backup (Ada?) just in case. Sounds good to me!

You Are a Two Point Conversion

You are an adept risk taker. You love to go for the glory.

You do what others are scared to do, and it pays off!

You have no fear, and because of this, you're able to look at the odds rationally.

You've taken enough small risks to get ahead in life, even if every risk hasn't panned out.

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Vapor, thunder, Salisbury steak, and poo's weight

High-scoring words of the night so far:

PLOTZES (110 points) - against Lydia L. [2W, hook off AXON for a plural]
VAPORY (153 points) - against Steve L. [two 3W]
OXTERS (103 points) - against Jerry S. [5W, hook off BAG for a plural]
THUNDER (148 points) - against Jean C. [4W, 5L on H]
RESAY (588 points) - against Amanda S. [two 2W, two 4W] {good deficit-erasing word!}
EBONISE (180 points; 5W, two 2W), KNURLIER (430 points; 5W, two 2W) - against Teresa E.

Hmm. For some reason, it smells like Hungry Man's Salisbury Steak in here. No, I haven't had that for dinner anytime recently, and my neighbors aren't cooking... although my upstairs neighbors shower at 2 or 3 AM regularly. Weird!

Poo nugget for Friday, Jan. 30: Doo You Know? - Are You Above Average? The average weight of stool excreted per day is 450 grams, about 3/4 of a pound.

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Carpet showers while baking an oversalted loaf

Bingo of the day so far:

OVERSALT (87 points) - against Judy B.

High-scoring words of the day so far:

DOGEYS (126 points) - against Angela V. [two 3W]
CARPET (111 points) - against Karla M. [two 2W, hook off SHAKE to make SHAKER]
SHOWERS (100 points) - against Mary M. [5W, 2L on H]
HOISTER (411 points) - against Vivian R. [two 4W, hook off GRAY for a plural]
VERSO (280 points) - against Cathy S. [3W, 5W]
BAYOUS (2080 points) - against Brenda B. [2W, 5W, two 4W]
COTYPE (104 points) - against Edward V. [5W]

Interesting racks of the day so far: BAKELOAF (against Judy B.), BOUTLAGS (against Robert L.)

I just had a weird phone call from Michigan: 1-517-931-2364, anyone? The Canucks now have EIGHT losses in a row! Also, I didn't think I was going to win my game against Angela, and certainly not by twenty points! Whoa! Speaking of "whoa," I just heard that the California woman who had octuplets recently ALSO has six other kids, and is a single parent. YIKES!

But I'm annoyed with how Daniel M. plays - he swapped tiles and passed turns till I had to make a move, leaving him with all the shiny multipliers. *grumble* Of course I had to resign that game since it wasn't fair to me not to be competitive! (no, I'm not whining)

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High-scoring words of the morning so far:

ARMHOLE (148 points) - against Michelle M.-K. [4W, 5L on M]
IONIZER (1050 points) - against Michael M. [two 5W]

You Are Like a Virgin

If you were transported back to the 80s, your life would be all about absorbing everything.

You are practically a virgin (or born-again virgin) when it comes to the 80s, and all things 80s are very interesting to you.

You would sing your heart out to every Madonna hit, and memorize every line in the Breakfast Club.

You'd have the biggest record collection, roller-skate like a champ, and would be a dead ringer for Molly Ringwald or Kirk Cameron!

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Who's Jack? / Intestine tract measurements

High-scoring words of the late night so far:

TOY (131 points) - against Colin W. [3W, 5W]
THEME (108 points) - against Annu E. [4W, 3L on H]

Hmm. I got a strange Facebook addition just now. Not sure I know anyone named Jack Hui, although he apparently knows Benedict / Henry / Sabrina / Alysia / Teresa / Flora / Phil / Eric T. / Auntie Rebecca / Karen I. / Jessica Lai / Chris. The display picture isn't helping, since it shows what I assume to be him as a kid. Maybe I'll ask some of those people on the weekend what's up, since I never did with that Albert C. Yip dude! (and HE added 100 people a day!)

Poo nugget for Thursday, Jan. 29: The Long and Windy Road - The GI tract is approximately 25 feet in length. This number has been debated because it depends on how (and when) you measure that length. The intestine is at its longest in a live person, and shrinks considerably when it is removed from the body.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Abusing quotation marks and apostrophes!

High-scoring words of the night so far:

ASHY (240 points) - against Jessica D. [4W, 5W]
MOVER (140 points) - against Josephine S. [5W, 5L on M]
COMAKER (136 points) - against Mimi R.-B. [4W, 2W]
EMOTIONS (350 points) - against Eileen D. [two 5W]
OOZED (204 points) - against Itamar R. [3W, 4W]

Interesting rack of the night so far: GAYOPJON (against Raymond C. - read that as "Gay OP [Original Poster] Jon" - as in, the thread starter is named Jon AND he's gay! :P)

Since Richie seems like he's here to stay after only two months (judging by his drum services), I should ask him when his birthday is! Dawn linked me to an article about quotation mark abuse (thanks!), which reminded me of Apostrophe Abuse / The Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks / The Gallery of Misused Quotation Marks. Hilarious stuff, if you can get past the grammar abuse!

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Being cute or sexy

High-scoring words of the morning so far:

YID (112 points) - against Tory W. [4W, 5L on Y]
JEERS (116 points) - against Glenda P. [2W, 4W, hook off AT to make ATE]

Interesting rack of the morning so far: JIMEASER (against Glenda P. - read that as "Jim easer" - a person who eases someone named Jim, heh)

Hey, Brenda S. added me on Facebook - I remember her from years ago! (knew her through Maxine and Tim, heh)

You Are Cute!

Believe it or not, you are much more attractive than you realize.

You don't try too hard, and that's one of the cutest things about you.

You have a vibrant glow about you, and people are drawn to your energy.

You're not perfect, thank goodness. Your flaws are part of what's lovable about you.

Right... that's what people tell me all the time. We'll see what happens!

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Facebook Name Distribution / The Clean Sweep

High-scoring words of the night so far:

WAVY (256 points) - against Geraldine B. [two 4W]
KAVA (208 points; two 4W), AUDITORY (230 points; 3W, two 2W) - against Alice P.
VIXENLY (129 points) - against Itamar R. [2W, 2L on V, 2L on Y]
PACKS (135 points) - against Kari A. [5W, hook off GIVEN for a plural]
NECTAR (100 points) - against Connie B. [5W, 2W]

Interesting rack of the night so far: NORIDUTY (against Alice P. - read that as "Nori duty")

Facebook Name Distribution

Amy (2)
Andrea (2)
Angela (2)
Becky (2)
Ben (2)
Chris / Christon / Christopher (6)
Chuck (2)
Dan / Danny / Daniel (4)
Darren (2)
Dave / David (7)
Dawn (2)
Diane / Dianne (2)
Emily (3)
Eric / Erik (4)
Flora (2)
George (2)
Grace (2)
Ivan (2)
James (3)
Jason (5)
Jen / Jenny / Jennifer (5)
Jeremy (2)
Jessica (4)
Joe (6)
Jon / Johnny (4)
Julie (3)
Justin (2)
Karen (4)
Kevin (2)
Leslie (2)
Lisa (2)
Mandy (2)
Margaret (2)
Mark (2)
Martin (2)
Matt (2)
Michael / Mike (5)
Michelle (6)
Pat (2)
Rachel (2)
Ray / Raymond (2)
Richie / Rick / Ricky (3)
Ryan (2)
Sabrina (2)
Sara / Sarah (5)
Steve (2)
Teresa (2)
Todd (2)
Vanessa (2)
Vivian (2)

Janina added me on Facebook, which is cool enough. I've discovered that people can delete games if you haven't made a move after their initial turn, of course. When you get to placing the tiles on the board, it just says there's a connection error! Hey, my computer has stuff going on with it, which I clearly put in my HOST note. Yikes!

Poo nugget for Wednesday, Jan. 28: The Clean Sweep - On rare and special occasions, you engage in the entire stooling process from engagement to deployment, and note that in the cleanup phase that amazingly there is no poo residue on the toilet paper! This "Clean Sweep" is in direct contrast to other times when you use half the roll of toilet paper and feel as if you haven't made any progress. What's worse is that those moist, multi-wipe poos seem to occur at the most inopportune times: in a crowded public restroom where you only have a few inches of cheap single-ply, essentially transparent toilet paper. In these instances, wiping can be so unsuccessful that you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and underwear to avoid painting your boxers with skid marks. These situations, juxtaposed with Clean Sweeps, remind us that although there is little discernible difference during the exit, the cleanup can have dramatic variation. Synonyms: Wipeless Poo, Spic n' Span, Mr. Clean.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dream: Lentil beans at Starbucks in the Depot?

High-scoring words of the day so far:

UNBAR (128 points) - against Brenda B. [two 4W]
ABATES (168 points) - against Michael M. [two 4W]
VIZOR (180 points) - against Sara H. [two 3W]
PLINK (104 points) - against Dorothy K. [4W]
NAZI (265 points) - against Nathalie L. [5W, 4L on Z, hook off SCOWL to make IS]

Interesting rack of the day so far: LODIGAYS (against Nathalie L. - read that as "Lodi gays")

The snow is back! Good thing I went out yesterday, although I did forget to buy paper. At least I still have some here, and it won't be so much of a waste! I've been reading the FRUGAL LIVING forum on Craigslist, of all things... so maybe that is why lentil beans showed up in my most recent dream!

This dream started out backstage somewhere at a concert. The church choir was putting on a performance, and wanted the kids to join in. So a bunch of us were looking after the kids, while dodging people with tinsel-filled costumes: SO SHINY! We herded the kids upstairs, and told them that they could watch the performance if they stayed really quiet. Unfortunately, a few decided to start fighting at the worst time - we had to take them out and scold them! The parents were on their case as well.

After the performance, Jeremy and I decided to get some blueberry waffles from the cafeteria. Then Richie showed up with Yazmine (of all the people!), and offered to drive us somewhere. After grabbing Raymond and others from the crowd, we left. It was an interesting car ride, and we all got dropped off at a Starbucks-like coffee shop in the RCMP Depot. We saw Citrus there with a couple of his other mates, but didn't want to sneak up behind them. Someone figured that these future police officers would be extra-sensitive to any sudden unexpected movement, and we could end up in handcuffs. (they would be in abundant and ready supply THERE, right?)

For some reason, Yazmine offered to pay for everything we got: we weren't about to dissuade her! I decided to order mashed lentil beans in a cup since it was actually on the menu. After pouring hot water into the beans, the barista decided to soak them up good and fine. It was then that we decided to alert Citrus to our presence. We had good conversations about the circular garbage can (don't ask!), then Richie offered to drive our original contingent home - Citrus and his mates obviously had to stay on base! The dream ended when we were driving across the bridge... interesting stuff there!

Your Ideal Island Vacation is Nevis

On an island vacation, you need the sun, the beach, the sand, and the ocean.

In other words, it doesn't take much to make you happy. That's what the vacation is for.

Nevis is perfect for a true island vacation aficionado like yourself. It's underrated, small, and laid back.

Sure, it's a slower pace, but that's ideal. You won't be overwhelmed with activities, and you'll take the time to truly relax.

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Moonlit towns and digesting fibers!

Bingo of the night so far:

TOWNLESS (74 points) - against Jon B.

High-scoring words of the night so far:

HAFT (168 points) - against Karla M. [3W, 4W]
MOONLIT (164 points) - against Colin W. [4W, hook off JAR to make MAW and OR]

Poo nugget for Tuesday, Jan. 27: Déjà Poo (Poo of the Month) - Why Can't You Digest That Enormous Kernel Of Corn? While soluble fiber found in foods such as beans, nuts, and carrots forms a gel-like substance when mixed with stomach secretions, the insoluble fiber contained in oat bran and corn on the cob passes through the GI tract largely unchanged. Humans lack the necessary enzymes to digest certain components of plant cell walls. These insoluble fibers are therefor responsible for pieces of corn and other food particles that appear in poo, looking just like they did before you ate them. (you should see the picture for this one!)

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Stress and plane crashes

I got another weird phone call: 778-220-2553, anyone?

The only thing wrong with this episode of 24 was the sound issues which really annoyed me! Maybe I should re-watch this episode tomorrow on a website! They were evident on HOUSE as well, where there was a patient who worked with special-needs kids. She got unstressed when she encountered stress: something about blood. Cameron was supervising House, and he wasn't pleased with her not authorizing him to take off the patient's skull to look at her right brain function. He told Cuddy to talk him through stuff while her baby cried on the other end of the speaker phone: the patent got really annoyed with the baby, heh.

Back to Jack Bauer... Bill and Chloe found Renee, and explained things to her. She wanted to contact her boss, but they wanted her to stay "dead" because they didn't want people to know that Jack was working against the corrupt FBI. President Allison Taylor says that they found the CIP device, too. People were going around giving their condolences to Larry Moss when the news of Agent Walker's shooting came in, and he didn't take it well. "WE DON'T KNOW THAT SHE'S DEAD YET!" Jack and Tony found the Matobos, and tried explaining things to them too. They convinced them to work with the plan, ha.

Evil Dubaku called the president, and told her to look out the window: PLANE CRASH! "Comply with my demands, or ten thousand more Americans will die within an hour!" Chloe wired Matobo while Jack and Renee discussed what had happened earlier: corruption, servers, trust, and more. Samantha came home and discovered Henry Taylor on the floor, numbed by the muscle relaxant that Brian had drugged him with. Brian then incapacitated her, and then lied to someone who was looking for Henry. Later, they both fell down a flight of stairs, and Henry strangled Brian to death after telling him not to do something. Then someone told Dubaku that casualties would be high if they executed their plan in a certain location, after he said that the president wasn't just stubborn; she was INSANE!

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Cheap cards / Octuplets!

Went out earlier (BEFORE the snow will hit!) to buy healthy, suitable, sharable snacks for Sunday's meeting: I saw SunRype Fruit Source (Mixed Berry / Plus Veggie Tropical) at Shoppers, and I think even Eric could eat these! Of course, he'll have to look at the ingredients first to make sure. However, they have no refined sugar, which is SWEET! (you decide whether that was a pun or not, haha) Then I went to Yuen Shing, where nothing really caught my eye. Stopped by Carlton Cards, where they had special Year of the Ox cards, but I didn't get one because they didn't have a $1 card section as I thought they did. Then I went to Hallmark Cards, where I got 50 $1 birthday cards / six $1 wedding cards for a bunch of people / two regular-price birthday cards for Steph and Harmony (signing at MissionsFest and the meeting ahoy!) / one $1 Valentine's card for little Hannah / one $1 special card for Chrystal / a generic Chinese New Year card for Grandma / heart stickers which didn't seem overpriced like the rest of them. Of course, I've forgotten how to write my Chinese name - not a surprise! Thank goodness I bought the birthday cards now since I only had five spare ones left at home!

Got home to finish the rest of the NutriGrain Sweet and Salty peanut butter bars that Mom gave me on Sunday, and found a message from Dawn. Yup, this blog is now unfortunately for invited readers only! I just invited her to read it, heh. (did it in a hurry the first time; sorry!) At least I have the Blazing BBQ chips out for 24 tonight! The computer just restarted on me - UGH!

I just heard that a California woman gave birth to octuplets recently!

BELLFLOWER, Calif. – A woman gave birth to eight babies in Southern California on Monday, the world's second live-born set of octuplets.

The mother, who was not identified, gave birth to six boys and two girls weighing between 1.8 pounds and 3.4 pounds, doctors at Kaiser Permanante Medical Center told The Associated Press. "It's a surprise," Dr. Karen Maples said. "Eight newborns are in stable condition and they're doing quite well."

Kaiser spokeswoman Myra Suarez said she could not release any information about the mother, including her condition or whether she used fertility drugs. Such drugs make multiple births more likely. "They are all doing the best they can," Suarez told the AP.

The first baby was born at 10:43 AM; the eighth one at 10:48 AM. "They were all screaming and kicking around very vigorously," Dr. Harold Henry told the TV station. The first live-born octuplets were born in Houston in 1998, and one baby died about a week later. The surviving siblings — girls Ebuka, Gorom, Chidi, Chima and Echerem, and their brothers Ikem and Jioke — celebrated their 10th birthday in December.

Their parents, Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi, said they are astonished and grateful that their children have grown up to be healthy and active kids who are now in the fourth grade. Chukwu said the new parents have much to look forward to. "Just enjoy it. It's a blessing, truly a blessing," Chukwu said. "We'll keep praying for them." The Bellflower medical center is about 17 miles southeast of Los Angeles.

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The Finland postcard gets here! / SCAMMERS!

High-scoring words of the day so far:

HOMER (300 points) - against Karla M. [5W]
PYJAMA (191 points) - against Alice P. [4L on P, 5W]
HALENESS (146 points) - against Heather S.-T. [4W, 2W]

I played QUAIL off Jessica D.'s QUAIL - yay for quirky coincidences!

I got a holiday_wishes postcard from Helsinki, Finland today - VERY NICE! Katariina (valkeakuulas) was amazed that I knew about Children of Bodom, hahaha. The SNOW is going to come back, so if I'm going to buy (presumably) healthy snacks for the meeting, I better do it NOW!

I also got a reply to my "housing wanted" ad from a "John Smith": "I have available bedroom flat to rent in No. 2 and Granville, Richmond, BC, [postal code deleted], double glazed windows, low voltage lighting, wooden flooring throughout, luxury fitted kitchens with integrated appliances, bathrooms with power showers, balconies, Fully Fenced Yard... these apartments are available fully furnished. The rent is 700 dollar including bills and a security deposit of 100 dollar would be made and If interested in viewing please contact me. Waiting to hear from you as soon as possible."

I'm not going to pick apart the grammar of this one, although it does sound slightly better than Amacon and their clunky wording! However, I am suspicious of anything with bad wording. Unsure if this could be a scam, although perhaps I've been reading too much about Nigeria / West Africa on the discussion forums lately! This could also sound too good to be true. Yikes... not to mention that John Smith is THE most common name EVER! My sense is high with this one... o_O

I asked at the HELP DESK forum: someone already said it sounded like a scam, and to use extreme caution if it's way below rents for that area. Ha, I knew it! Someone else said that if I think it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is just bait. I don't know THAT much about rental apartments, but all those features have GOT to cost more than $700/month in rent!

Now that the "procrastinator quiz" is working properly (meaning that "TOTAL PROCRASTINATOR" is no longer the ONLY answer), I'll post the results:

You Are a Bit of a Procrastinator

You tend to get things done in a timely manner, but you can't help but put off tasks you hate.

You have no problem getting the fun or easy stuff done. You generally enjoy taking care of responsibilities.

However, if a task arises that you dislike, it might get shelved for a long time.

And even though it's human nature to procrastinate, your procrastination is hindering your productivity.

Take a look at the things you are putting off doing. Do they really need to be done?

Complete any task that's important. The other stuff you're procrastinating is probably not worth doing.

You Are a Playwright

You are a highly literate wordsmith. You love both reading and writing.

You are also a natural storyteller. You can turn a mediocre anecdote into a riveting tale.

You find people and all aspects of life fascinating. No topic is off-limits for you.

In modern times, you would make a good filmmaker or novelist.

Hey, this actually FITS! Sweet! :D

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It's the Year of the Ox, everybody!

High-scoring words of the night so far:

PAYOFF (115 points) - against Colleen H. [5W]
AFGHANIS (115 points) - against Cynthia P. [5W]
ROSIEST (125 points) - against Nathalie L. [2W, 4W, hook off TRIBAL for a plural]
GLITCH (240 points) - against Rhonda T. [two 4W]
QUERY (128 points) - against Diane J. [4W, 2L on Q]

Interesting racks of the night so far: LOORUGBS (against Itamar R. - read that as "Loo rug B.S." - bullcrap about rugs in the bathroom!), HEXASHAE (against Tory W.), SOJAYWIN (against Annu E.), YINSGOAT (against Geraldine B. - read that as "Yin's goat")


Craigslist discussion forums have haiku when you post - I think that's really cool. :D

Upon posting a reply:

thanks for your posting!
click the left hand reload link,
and you will see it

browser reload may
alas, send us this again --
one will do for now.

Upon posting something in a redundant manner:

a wafer thin mint
that's been sent before it seems
one is enough, thanks

When you flag a post:

thanks for flagging this
staff will look at it shortly
hey, a dragonfly!

Upon rating a post +0:

wise choice! vanity springs from nonzero numbers...

Writer's Block: Year of the Ox
Happy Chinese New Year! The Year of the Ox starts today. What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Do you think you fit the description of the sign?

I'm a dragon! Even better, I'm a FIRE dragon. *roar* And yes, I think I do!
View other answers.

Poo nugget for Monday, Jan. 26: World-Record Poo The world's longest documented human poo measures twenty-six feet, and was produced by Michelle Hines in 2005. Hines worked with a team of nutritionists and used a special plug the week before launch to prevent premature evacuation. The resulting poo was the same length as her entire colon, and is almost an inch longer than the biggest surviving dino poo.

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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Neptune and Pearl Castle

Off we went to Neptune Seafood Restaurant, where we watched the New York Giants in the Super Bowl last year at this time! Luckily, Grandma did NOT drop her napkin in my bowl this year! (I could see her throwing it into my bowl from across the table, perhaps) We had crab with spicy seasoning (which caused my sibs to reminisce about the time I freaked out our cousins at Congee Noodle House by eating an entire bowl of spices and mini-peppers), beef, rice, a surprising amount of greens for a Chinese meal, red bean dessert, and more stuff. The spicy seasoning was a departure from the usual green onion flavoring.

Talked about Citrus, ironing, Terrence, Joyce eating a lot, maturity, Isabel, Bon's, fruit-picking, road trips, short flights, Julie, Dylan, suburban living ("I don't live in Toronto - I really live in Etobicoke!"), the Ho family dinners, Melissa and Nathan, fairness, token gifts, songs, an amusing message from Lisa, eating, sleep schedules, spoiled kids' "entitlement" complex, no self-pity, and more. Grandma didn't seem too impressed with our joking dinner suggestions: Dragon Ball / bubble tea, pizza, hamburgers, beer, McDonalds, and general Western food aren't something she'd like. (but Justin's grandma wouldn't have minded!)

After thanking Grandma for the dinner and wishing her a Happy New Year, my siblings and I went to Pearl Castle. We laughed over how we could "Christianize" Leona Lewis lyrics: BLEEDING LOVE is great for that, haha! (or "Forgive me...") Heck, we remember when Mom thought Joan Osborne's ONE OF US would be a great God's Faithful Singers (kiddy choir) song! HAHAHAHA! Surprisingly, Steph paid for the bubs since she was craving it - I also think a time with all three of us is getting rarer these days! Christine Magee is getting married too, and Jon found Adam G. on Facebook - I remember the time he had two bubble teas in one sitting! He's not in music anymore. Fred is in Australia! Discussed plans, shaved ice, healthy eating, packing lunch as a huge production, fruit, vegetables, the families that we saw at Pearl Castle (with OLD PEOPLE even!), parenting, smart kids, Ian and Gabriel, ice cream, and other things too. The names of the items at Pearl Castle are... interesting, to say the least: YOUNG GIRL'S DREAM, PINK LADY (reminded Jon of beer, and me of the Mother-In-Law stout and bitter beer in Regina), SILVER GALAXY, ADAM'S DREAM, FIRST SIGHT, etc. I had a Banana Paradise, heh.

I reminisced about the time when I told Jeremy about taking Mom and Grandma to Dragon Ball, haha - he was right that Big G was probably one of their oldest customers ever! (Jon scared Mrs. Dragon Ball at Tom Lee yesterday!) Steph really wanted a Spoons birthday party on Valentine's Day, but I asked if she had to work: unfortunately, yes. Too bad, since most of the potential invitees would be free. Now I'm talking to Corey about the time in Taiwan when he ate crab and shrimp for Chinese New Year dinner: yup, they did have shell crackers available for his use, even if everyone else in Jane's family didn't feel like preserving their teeth!

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Let's just blame Chinese New Year for quorum not being met!

On the way to church this morning, Steph talked about flights and money - well, as long as she knows what she's doing. Guess she does miss certain people, so it should be fine. Got to church, where Raymond and I talked about stuff. Bantered with Mike, Sonya, Jessica, Danielle, and Cordia about Lethbridge, the town growing (cows might not grow 75,000 of anything!), and other things. It was baby dedication day - poor Allison cried when Jeff handed her over to Pastor John!

Shared a Bible and some amusement as well, so that was par for the course. Talked to Tony, Sheena, Ivan, Martin, Jen, Richie, and others later. Spied some Dad's cookies, so I had to get some of those! (Quan and Cordia were debating mushrooms afterwards, heh) Discussed Stanley and poop-food, Mui's lunch, Pho plans, ushers meetings, and more. I told Raymond that he'd be very lucky if we had a meeting and it let out by 4! Steph was impressed with the sound room at the back, haha.

Sunday School seemed a bit empty, but I'm going to blame it on Chinese New Year. It was still good, though. Afterwards, I went back downstairs to see what was going on for lunch. We went to Mui's with Vanessa (after causally inviting Eric to Mui's, and hoping Vania got something to eat), and discussed a bunch of stuff. Chinese New Year is more for the traditionalists among us like my grandma, but we just go along with it anyhow. After going back to church, I got my forms and sat near the back with Nathan and Raymond. Discussed chow mein, lunch, and other things before it was decided that there'd be no meeting today. We were short FIVE people, so Nathan and I jokingly decided that it was the out-of-town people's fault: Darren / Citrus / Erin / Fidela, we're looking at YOU! Chinese New Year also played a factor, Calla was sure - her mom was home cooking dinner, apparently. Possibly, but we all have to come again next week even if there's no quorum required!

Discussed BORAT "sexy time," Maui, Joe Yu still being on our member list, knitting, Chrystal, dinner plans, Missions Fest, and other things with Andrea / Eric / Daniel / Michelle / Emily / Mike. Finally, we all went our separate ways. Dropped by the library to return books: I remembered the Chinese word for "return" when Steph didn't, at least. Talked about Jeremy, Kelowna, Carrie Underwood, AMERICAN IDOL, and more. Got to the townhouse and watched the All-Star game, basketball games, and various other sports highlights. Informed Jon about Chrystal - guess he'll have to ask Andrea when visiting hours are! We'll have dinner soon, and then I'll be home!

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Am I a teddy bear or a porcelain doll? You tell me!

I don't want to know why I dreamed that my mom let her kitchen become a raging fire inferno, complete with telltale flames from burners left on "for just two minutes." Bad subconscious!

Bingo of the morning:

FOOTGEAR (158 points) - against Rhonda T.

High-scoring words of the morning:

BARYTA (168 points) - against Marg D. [4W, 3W]
FOOTGEAR (158 points) - against Rhonda T. [bingo, 3W, 2W]
REPORTS (104 points) - against Michael M. [4W, 4L on P]

I'll do a meme right before I head off to church and the meeting afterwards! I knew I should have bought some candy at London Drugs for this thing - we don't even have the luxury of being a minute away from the 7-11! Although I guess we DO have Superstore... hmm.

Taken from Mandy:

Pick one word from each pair that you think describes me the best, and leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock
* brains or brawn
* common sense or book smarts

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