Big stupid zombie head from the cemetery!

In the MOTHER 1 town of Mother's Day, I tell this guy that I'm a zombie, then get called "a big stupid zombie head" before he runs off!




At the burger place, NINTEN encounters one of his old classmates! "Aren't you NINTEN, that snot-nosed kid who sat next to me in kindergarten? Or are you someone else?" Hey, I'm going to SAVE THE WORLD! Watch what you say!




At the store, the clerk asks if you need to return any items. Saying "no" gets you "Whew... what a relief" in response, hahaha!




Hippie used a Megaphone! "You're a disgrace to your mom!" HAHAHAHA, these enemy "attacks" are hilarious!

Zellers storage bins, TRACKER luggage bag, and more Amacon fuckery!

I watched a show called URBAN LEGENDS which featured the story of a couple who found out that they were really brother and sister. Maura's dad and John's mom had had a brief fling, and their children unwittingly got together, feeling that they'd known each other for years. The show said they were still together (having had at least one child), and were looking to move to Sweden - it's the only country in the world where it's legal to marry your sibling!

Went out to Oakridge (taking Dad's jacket - yesterday, I took his sandals) to see if I could get a duffle bag since things were up to 70% off on clearance at Zellers. I didn't, but I did get three red storage bins at LESS than Teunis paid for the three green ones last year - HA! The clerk thought they were separate, but I picked up the thing used to bundle them since that had snapped off: from $20.86 to $10.36! Then I decided to go to Richmond Centre again, this time to ask the Bentley's people about duffle bags. They had a REALLY HUGE one for $19.99 (London Drugs sold them for $10 more), but I didn't need that. Eventually, I settled on a less sizeable one from TRACKER ($44.99 to $24.99) which had small wheels, even though I wasn't in the market for wheels originally. I guess they'll help if I'm concerned about heaviness!

I left satisfied, and was going to go home for a brief while so I could drop off my purchases and get my oven mitts since I can't find any around the townhouse kitchen. However, my key got stuck in the front door lock! I called the manager Hester from the front door, and was surprised (but not really) when her husband tried blaming ME for it! "You used the wrong key, so you caused the sticky door!" [not true] Then Hester told me, "That's not our problem, because you're an old tenant - not a new tenant." WHAT THE FUCK?! Ugh... when I finally got someone to take my key out of the lock before the management came, I thanked her very much! Luckily, she was still there when Hester's husband came to check out the issue, as she could translate into Mandarin or whatever dialect. IT'S NOT MY FAULT, AMACON!

When I finally was able to get into my apartment, I noticed seven missed calls: one was from Vanessa, of all the people. Hmm! I organized the purchases, cleared my phone, and decided to take a shower as long as I was home. Figured I need to get more shampoo and conditioner (as well as a farewell card for Phil / Grace / Micah), so I'll take care of that on Wednesday. Waited for a while at the bus stop, and called Chrystal when I got in. I'm good with paying for my own meal this time: it's on Wednesday night at the usual time and place! (What'll I do between banking and 6:30? Hang out at the mall with too much money temptation?!) Also called Eric to advise him that I wouldn't be going hiking tomorrow since I would DIE; even if he says it's more of a walk and I won't DIE, I'm still not going. Then I said that I'd still be here on Sunday, and I'd been told by two or three separate people to go to the damn meeting. He wondered if I were in the Russia mafia once I said that my parents were there... definitely not! I joked that I was at the townhouse to steal all their stuff, hahaha. At least I don't have to go anywhere till Sunday!

Eddie and Eunice's wedding

Saw Grandma briefly before going over to Jon and Harmony's, where we saw Holly preparing to take care of baby Ayler for the afternoon and evening. He was a bit fussy, but that's to be expected. Baby seemed to like looking at my blue-and-green wedding wear, though! He was staring at it, haha. The wedding and banquet were at the Capilano Golf and Country Club in West Vancouver... lots of traffic wanting to go to Stanley Park, for sure! It was a pretty casual wedding, and I caught up with Winnie and her two kids Avery and Wesley / Pauline (she left when she was 17, and she's 41 now - yes, Richmond HAS changed a lot!) / Steph / Lisa / Phil / Grace / Jane and Amy (Vegas, motherhood, the nice weather) / Jeremy / Sam / Emily / Karen Choo / Rich / Vanessa (Prince George and hicks and the radio!) / Alan / Tracy / Denise / Daniel / Michelle / Uncle Richard / Auntie Gloria. SO MUCH DIVERSE FOOD! Butter chicken, dim sum, very fresh fish, etc. - I couldn't finish my plate! Had some room for dessert, though. Got home with the sweaters / towels (I'll sort it out later), only to discover that I'd missed a call from Chinese Eric! I can tell since it says "BLOCKED CALL" - and of course, I couldn't call him back since it was 10:45 already! Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Have also made a decision to restart AGAIN! *sigh*

Tacky singing / Skits / Tule perverts!

Eric called at 5:45... yup, I was pretty much ready to go! We discussed church, the screwed-up service order, Christon, tomorrow's plans (I'm game if he's gotta cook early), Pastor Bob, what I did today, the Great Banquet parable, his NOT going to Eunice and Eddie's wedding, Euro 2012, Spain beating Italy 4-0, and more on the way to Floata. At the banquet, we sat with Billy / Stella / Tim / Maxine / Chung Yan / Karen I. / Mattias / Marcus / Lanie. Discussed the crazy wedding that Phil and Grace had been to yesterday (fighting as "entertainment"), the very odd Chinese cultural thing of singing and skits [most of which went WAY over our heads since we don't understand!] to say farewell ("we should do our own tacky songs / karaoke IN ENGLISH when Phil leaves, so EVERYONE can understand!"), Eric saying that he might have a Chinese wedding if he decides to marry a Chinese girl if she wants one, job info, summer plans, the Vegas wedding, Benjamin / Noah / Joshua / Emma, baby Ayler, shrimp chips / chicken / soup / celery / tea, shark's fin soup, the Chinatown Night Market, and more. Said hi to Auntie Vivian, Mary, Reigan, Mike K. and Eric T. (who both liked the SILVER BLING necklace), Harrison (who hates Luongo and Schneider - he likes the Bruins), Andrew L., Hannah W. (who's now taller than I am), Victor, and more people.

I spotted Auntie Ying, so had to ask what she was doing on Facebook. Phil told her that she had to learn because then she can see pictures of Micah growing up, haha. Sounds good enough to me - tempt her with grandchild photos! Of course, she's still learning her way around an iPad, and I can't help her with that. Maybe we'll get together after Phil leaves! I also had to update Chrystal on recent events; things seem genuine, so we'll see. The farewell banquet was kind of like a wedding, as people were clinking on their glasses to get Pastor James to give Pastor Rebecca a kiss in front of everyone! (and there were photos in a certain order) When we went up on stage for our photo, I had to ask Jessica L. to help me down! Of course, I thanked her. On the way home, Eric and I discussed FINAL FANTASY / Irish accents / promotion for a TV show called SUITS / monks / knights / thieves / Mario's Gelati people NOT being happy / odd locations for Drunk Driving Counterattack (going INTO Vancouver instead of OUT OF there?!) / tomorrow.



Hockey-related WTF moments tonight, while Eric and I were listening to Team 1040 [FREE AGENCY DAY!] on the way home:

* Wait... why is Detroit in the Western Conference if they're across the river from Windsor?! (Eric says that this is because there are a lot of teams in the Eastern Conference already) Even I know my geography a bit better than that...

* I misheard "Tanner Glass" as "Canner Plax," and wondered just what kind of name THAT was! (I have a definite opinion on names in my spare time :P)

* Upon hearing that the Rangers (?) replaced someone with Aaron Asham (spelling?), I said: "They replaced him with AN AIR MATTRESS?! Nice! That's one of the weirdest sports transactions I've heard of..." Hahaha, poor Eric had to tell me that I was engaging in creative listening yet again!


This guy in the Tule pub is a pervert (looking at the onstage dancers) who tells us to get our minds out of the gutter!

Bryan, missing easy conversation, sushi overriding BS

Talked briefly to Bryan on YM, and found myself missing easy conversation. I just have to remind myself of certain things, is all. Replied to Tracy / Grace / Denise's Evite for Harmony and Jane's baby shower, too. Christon emailed us to say that BS would be at Geoffrey's at Friday, so of course I had to reply to everyone to say that even if it weren't for the hockey game, my late-night sushi plans with a friend and her boyfriend overrode everything else. MUHAHAHAHA! I know how BS works; I would NEVER be able to make it for that AND sushi, especially as Wayne and Vanessa are picking me up! Eric would probably want to stay till at least 10 PM, too. Thank goodness my Friday plans are all intact! GOODBYE!

Chronological inconsistencies, Eiffel Tower, flying into mesh (dream) / Evite

I must be strong in the midst of various things going on! Grace, Denise, and Tracy sent me an Evite to a double baby shower for Harmony and Jane, which is taking place in about a month on a Sunday... I guess I'll have to play all the games! *sigh* I also learned that I only have to look after Grandma for the 18th and the 19th, since the respite centre found space for her before then. This is good news; I hardly think I'll have a reason to drag my laptop to the townhouse then! Also had some buttermilk pancakes in honor of Mardi Gras / Fat Tuesday, hahaha.

Vanessa got on MSN to invite me to a reservation for late-night sushi (9:30-ish) with Wayne on Friday. They'll pick me up, too. That actually does sound good from a money and time standpoint, especially with the weekly tradition and the hockey game in mind! Of course, I thanked her for the invite. Gives me yet another excuse to not make it out to Fellowship, which means I should tell Eric at some point. Of course, another couple will be coming - meh, I can deal. :D


I had a weird dream which started out with my family being in Paris and inside the Eiffel Tower. There were all these mini souvenirs just lying around on the beige floors, and we were tempted to take some since they were various representations of the tower in various forms. We almost took a couple, but ultimately decided not to since we didn't want to appear like thieves. Upon exiting the tower, we were told to go down a ramp on the bottom floor which would spit us out into the parking lot. I couldn't do it, so Jon (looking as he did when he was three years old) and Grandma (in a mini naked form - I don't want to know!) decided to go with me as I ran into some black mesh separator, as seen on a screen by an elevator. We went flying off the mesh, and onto the bottom floor near escalators.

After that, I saw Eric M. out on a bench - he wanted to join us, and we had no problem with that. Grandma wanted to buy things from an outdoor supermarket, so we took her there. All the freezers and bags were outside, while some bread and such was inside. We were about to select a bunch of items when we were stopped by some workers with green aprons. They said that we weren't allowed to bring any naked people onto the premises, even if they were really tiny. We tried to argue with the workers, but to no avail. So then we met up with Jen in the store's underground parking lot, which is another time inconsistency - we didn't meet her until 2000! Dad told Mom to just go home while he took me, Eric, Jen, and Jon to the movies.

Then we went to the parking lot, which had fast-moving white cars and white lanes all over the place. We went to another crowded store which apparently was just one room, full of frozen food from Safeway. This was apparently going to be our dinner, which would be fine since the movie (something about a DARK KNIGHT prequel? TIME INCONSISTENCY!) started at 7:30. However, I noticed a sign saying that we'd be locked in the room at 7:16 even if people hadn't finished paying for / selecting the food. This was supposedly to preserve the food's integrity, despite it all being in freezers! The store clerks told us not to worry about it, so we turned our attention to selecting various bags and packages.

Finally, we made our way to the checkout line. Tim, Maxine, Joshua, and Keenan were there also. (Emma wasn't born yet in the dream, but the other two shouldn't have been there with the time!) They said hi, and gave me my birthday presents: a foam puzzle, a Matthew Good CD, and more merchandise. For some reason, I had to pay for those! The dream ended when we left the store with lots of food. WEIRD AND CRAZY! Not even sure what the triggers would be for this one, unless it was seeing some DARK KNIGHT RISES movie promo!

Wishful thinking, horrifying screennames, and being BACK ONLINE!

While I was at the library yesterday, I responded to Mandy's email - then I played a lot of gaming at home! (which I *just* lost!) Woke up at 6 AM today, craving vegetables for some reason. Luckily, I had some in the freezer! I remembered the candy for the children, which I ended up giving to Nina and Emily - Auntie Bessy asked if I were sure about this, but I totally was! Julie C. missed out, though! Eric called to say that he had to pick up Dylan as well, which was okay by me. We talked about the front seat being jammed forward, Deb, the holidays, baby Declan, sleep issues, sleep schedules for the baby, our weeks, forgetfulness, and more on our way to church. I saw Julie M. and Denise at the crosswalk (Dylan and Eric opted to jaywalk), and we complained about the non-automatic crosswalk signals in Vancouver; they're SO UNLIKE Richmond!

Sat next to Jeremy and Mark, who greeted me. We proceeded to talk about a bunch of stuff like office hours and such. The new pastor was all right, I suppose; being a word fiend, I liked his analysis of the word "time," although it sounded like what I read on a webpage long ago! Jeremy and I laughed (well, I snorted) at the "do not get drunk on wine" Bible verse in the reading, haha! After service, I gave Dad my tax envelope while he wondered where Jon was. I talked to Enoch and Wes about Twisted Sister and other things while stupid Paul was lurking in the background - GO AWAY! Said hi to Grandma, Mrs. Ho, Jordan, Ian, Olivia, Phil, Sophia, Helen C., Mike K., and others before I simply decided to go upstairs. Saw Ada, Ashley, James ("FIRE!"), Ramen, Shira, Jessie, Rachel's grandma, Danny, Anastasia, Lanie, David, Evelyn, Mattias, Marcus, Karen I., and others in Toddler Sunday School; we discussed Mandarin, drawings, toys, slides, and more.

When I finally got out of there, Eric was looking for me, saying that my sister was doing the same thing. I initially called him a liar, until I did see her with Mom; she invited me to Pho, but I had to decline on account of Eric fixing my Internet issues AND his having no cash anyway! Got her and Lisa's work schedules, so will call them tomorrow night after the hockey game; I'll call Chrystal, too! Eric and I discussed Randal and long emails, Paul, the non-support I'm getting from my brother about that situation (DO NOT FORCE ME!), Teunis, Bible Study, LEFT FOR DEAD, the longest winter ever (which has yet to happen over here), no 12 Days of Christmas, DARKWING DUCK, video game music, and more. Yes, I included my feelings in the email I sent Randal, but that doesn't mean I'm falling in love with him again! I can always get his phone number through other means than asking him since I "lost" it four years ago, haha.

We later talked about keyboards, messy wires, routers, resetting stuff, AVG, my snowglobe, STARCRAFT and the DAY 9 DAILY guy, browsers, bottled water, what he could eat (I felt bad for delaying his lunch!), Elections Canada hand sanitizer (I'm not wasting our tax dollars by not using it!), and my fan / speakers. Then we talked about dust, my computer case, books, my not believing that email, his teasing me via character names, the lava lamp, the desktop computer, D-LINK sites, emulators, "romantic time with Chinese Eric" (WISHFUL THINKING THAT IS NOT HAPPENING SINCE HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP, AND UNDERSTANDABLY SO!), and more.

I think he was understandably horrified when James (thinking I was back online and actually at the computer - HAHAHA!) popped up on Trillian (I forgot it was on) to say hi via YM! He called me over and wondered about the screen name (it references "69"), so I told him that my friend had said it was his female friend's old one, and he had apparently never bothered to change it afterwards! Trust me, the dubious look he gave me perfectly matched the one I gave the computer screen while reading this explanation years ago! I definitely thanked him later! While catching up later, I saw that Grace H. has unfriended me / deleted her FB profile.

The Dance Test / Rare IRON GOLEM

You Are Charming

You believe that almost anything is possible. And you consider yourself a very lucky person. You are very giving - so giving that you occasionally get taken advantage of. Mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma. You are fun-loving, sweet, and cute. You radiate happiness and pure joy.

The Dance Test

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

I got a rare IRON GOLEM encounter!

Killer Bow Leet Haxor (FF2) / Lunar Phases / Live and Noah

Live (blackballoon) got my Christmas card and Vancouver postcard in Norway, so that's good! Noah M. (one of Kennedy's friends) added me to FB, so why not? Hahaha.

You Are the Waning Moon

You are most aligned with the waning moon, which represents reflection and cleansing. You enjoy spending a good deal of time alone. You like to spend a lot of time thinking. You are independent, iconoclastic, and countercultural. You won't accept the status quo. You're rational when things are chaotic, and for you, reason always prevails.

What Lunar Phase Are You?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

Hidden Killer Bow message in FINAL FANTASY II: With a cheat device such as Action Replay, enable the "Have All Items" code. Start the game and check your items. You will find a weak bow called the Killer Bow, along with the message "If you are reading this, you have either found a bug or are a 1337 haxxor." :D

No Christmas carols! / Julie Stickers! / Rainbows

Eric sent us an Evite for the Fellowship Christmas Potluck; apparently, we're going to sing CHRISTMAS CAROLS after the dinner and dessert. REALLY, PEOPLE?! I know it's that time of year, but I REALLY HATE THEM!

In the mail, I got Julie's Christmas card... yay! She also included dog stickers, heart stickers, Easter stickers, that "Quit while YOUR pretty" souvenir, and some "recycling / environment" stickers! I also got the hydro bill, so I decided to exercise responsibility and pay it immediately. Vanessa also wants to go to Walmart tomorrow, so that should be good.

You Are a Rebel

You are both familiar with the dark side and totally comfortable with it. You are an open, flexible person who is able to see the world through many perspectives. Social graces don't come easily for you. You feel like many social rules are silly. You are brilliant and a rule breaker. You insist on doing things your way.

The Over the Rainbow Test

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

Finished MOTHER 3 with emotions! / Big Toilets

Talked briefly to Teunis on MSN, and Eric tried sending me a message while he was offline about when I was going to grace them with my next appearance. I assume he got mine about yesterday, hahaha.

This is a sign I've been playing too much MOTHER 3: I saw a coffee table in the apartment building foyer, and immediately wished I could ride it! At least I finally finished the emotional game just now! Hopefully, FINAL FANTASY IV ADVANCE works without glitches this time... *fingers crossed*


A big toilet in MOTHER 3:

Debbie, Kennedy, Fassad, Yokuba, Salsa the monkey, and DUNG!

Debbie Schmidt added me to Facebook; I suspect she's from Our Place. After some looking around, I was right: she just goes by Debbie on there. Then Kennedy "Kenny Grace" M. added me, but she's from the Canucks FB fan page. The Canucks lost 3-2 tonight, too...


This is a funny screenshot from MOTHER 3. With the monkey (named Salsa) and its brutish master Fassad / Yokuba, you can fight Dung Beetles in the desert. Sometimes they drop Dung, which you can leave with Wan Sum Dung in order to get five free experience points for your party! (I've received 10 or even 50 once when it was "premium high-quality" dung, haha)

Brandi, Chrystal, EARTHBOUND ZERO, transgendered Hansel?! / Italian Food

Added Brandi M. to Facebook because she's a sane Canucks fan, haha. Also made mushroom soup and am playing MOTHER 1 (EARTHBOUND ZERO) because MOTHER 3, BREATH OF FIRE 1, and LUFIA: FORTRESS OF DOOM crashed / had serious glitches! Called Chrystal at work (after noticing a missed call from Barry - that's what happens when I get up at 3:20 PM, oops) to set up our next hangout time: Thursday evening at 7 was the only night I could do so this week due to hockey games and the weekly tradition, so I'm glad that worked for her!

For some reason, I dreamed that the skinny and Chinese Uncle Hansel wanted to be a short and dumpy transgendered European woman named Elsa... he would definitely NOT want that in real life, haha. Most of us supported him in the dream, and wanted to know what his wife Cathy thought of the idea. He got a sad look on his face, then went to help all the kids (including Gerard) prepare chicken salad in the old church's kitchen! WTF?!

You Are Loved

You are completely loyal and totally devoted to your friends. You stay true no matter what. You have a sensuous side that partners are a bit surprised by. You have a tender heart and touch. You're the perfect combination of simplicity and divinity. You are a secret hedonist, and no one knows how indulgent you can be. You get yourself into sticky situations at times, but you have the grace to recover beautifully.

The Italian Food Test

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Auntie Ying, Micah, excuses, Pauline, NO SKATING, and my power

Made my excuses to Auntie Ying as to why I couldn't see Micah today - the truth is that there was too much distracting reading to be done! I "talked" to a happy Micah on the phone while Auntie Ying prolonged the phone call (when all I wanted to do was get back to reading) by asking me about my family, and saying that Pauline Chan's mom died two days ago. She also talked about her mom, her brother, hiking, her nephew going back to Hong Kong, and some religious DVDs that Grace's mom gave her.

I was happy when I got off the phone, and then saw a Fellowship email from Eric about skating at Britannia. Thank goodness I'm not going to THAT - I'd rather listen to the hockey game / participate in my weekly tradition on Friday, anyhow! As for Welfare Wednesday, there is also a hockey game on that day - HOCKEY TAKES PRECEDENCE! (as I told him via email...)

You Are Dedicated

You like to get your hands dirty and get to work. You have a deep need to be productive. You are a finisher. You push to complete projects, even if they are tedious. You are talented at brainstorming and independent thinking. You believe in your ideas. You are hard to discourage. You're very determined, and you push through setbacks.

What's Your Power?

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

Are You a Black Swan or a White Swan?

FUCK! I hate people knocking on my door and waking me up! I wish he were GONE... only two more days, I hope! I'm only going because of Jeremy's lunch at Kirin... ugh!

You Are a White Swan

You are introverted, cultured, and mysterious. People are curious about what makes you tick. You've got a lot of flair and creativity, but you temper it with moderation and grace. You can be too conservative at times. You resist acting too boldly. You seem calm and composed. You are reserved to the point of being self-absorbed. You put yourself first and work hard to achieve your goals.

Are You a Black Swan or a White Swan?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

Mini-golf, bowling, and pitch-and-putt are the most stupid ideas EVER!

THREE DAYS TO GO!

Steph called so we could engage in some sisterly discussion, haha. Considering the way these stupid "Friday group outing" emails are going, I'm not leaving the house to "have fun" since I'd rather stay home than do something I don't want to do! Honestly, nobody wants to go to the beach, which is FREE unlike mini-golf / pitch-and-putt / bowling! Stupid people, every last one of them! (yeah - whining - but shut up!)

You Are Rebellious

You are both familiar with the dark side and totally comfortable with it. You have no desire to lead or follow. You prefer to not be a part of the crowd. Social graces don't come easily for you. You feel like many social rules are silly. You act without consulting others. You prefer to make decisions on your own.

The Deserted Beach Test

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

You bet!


DISPATCHED:

Small Group Outing = NO! / The Letter Test / Techno FINAL COUNTDOWN

Christon emailed us about Small Group Outing; I'm not going to participate. He wants to possibly do mini-golf in North Vancouver just because HE hasn't done it in a long time! I know he's the leader and all, but way to make this all about YOU! His other options aren't appealing, either... pitch-and-putt and bowling?! Ugh, I'd rather stay home! It saves money and (as an added bonus) I can relish TRUE quiet and downtime! Yes, Teunis will be out of here by then!

You Are a Good Friend

You are reliable and dependable. You can be counted on through thick and thin. You are full of common sense and everyday wisdom. You are street smart. You are conscientious and organized. No detail slips past you. People often say you would make a great therapist. You are an excellent listener, and you never judge.

The Letter Test

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

TECHNO:



I should have played this last night while things were going on, hahahaha! Too bad I never got much into techno, although I'm sure Spoz could have pointed me in the right direction! Stupid time differences!

Bad Baby Names, Part 15: Flights of Fantasy

Part 15: Flights of Fantasy

I found all of these within a week. Be afraid.

---

How does the name Kanoa Kai sound? It is a Hawaiian name. (I am not Hawaiian - I just love the meaning of the names) Kanoa means "The Free One" and Kai means "Ocean."

Ten bucks says she's never been to Hawaii, never met a Hawaiian, has a farmer tan, and has never left the great landlocked state of Iowa.

---

Poll: Boys name - Lex or Ace?

Arch-villain or pet detective.... hmm....

---

I'm considering Christina / Kristina / Krystina for my baby girl that will be born in two weeks. I don't want to use a name that is too popular. I am also considering Christiana / Kristiana / Krystiana. Does this last group sound too fancy or sophisticated?

Don't worry, with a sophisticated name like Krystiana, she'll be moved up from regular lap dances to the Champagne Room in no time.

---

I am 39 weeks 5 days pregnant, and in serious need of a girl's name. We don't know what we are having, but we have 3 girls already, and I am just assuming another one is on its way. If we have a boy, his name will be Kole. My girls' names are Brett (RyLee), Bailee (Shea), and Kendall (Jade).

What we want to do is use a name that is somewhat androgonys (sp), just because the others are and we are looking for something that starts with a 'K.' Some thoughts have been Kaelyn or Kylie, but nothing is getting agreed on, and we have no other ideas.

Look, you can't do something if you can't spell it. That's why most of us are allowed to drive a car or date rock stars, but not allowed to give an electroencepheloghram ...... electriensephologram...... brain scan thingy.

---

How are these names for my daughter twins!

Brecklyn and Brooklyn

Jena and Jori

Brianne and Brynn

Editor's note: There will be no comment accompanying this entry, as the author was rushed to the hospital after trying to say these names aloud rapidly, and part of her jaw fell off.

---

We are expecting baby #2 in December. We already have a daughter Mackenzi Lynn who is 20 months old. What do you think of Kadince Mae (or Kadance, Kadence, Cadence) and calling her Kadi or Cadi for short? We call our daughter Kenzi, as I like a long name with shorter versions. Thanks.

Few realize the much of Leonardo da Vinci's later work was actually done by his trendy airhead sister Mackenzi ka Dinc e, particularly "his" later technical drawing OMG Avril is SOOOO KEWL!!!!11!!!!!

I appreciate that saying cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence, cadence in a way replicates what cadence is... if your definition of cadence is mostly wrong. Which is a moot point, 'cause I don't think she knows it's a word.

---

I am not pregnant yet, but thinking about names... I just thought of the name Lourdes Solange. This baby will be 75% Latina and 15% European. :)

... and 10% polyester.

---

Hello, I was wondering if anyone knew of a good site to go to to find a Native American name????
Please let me know. I was thinking of using it for a middle name if I found a name that went nicely with the first name.
Many Native names have really cool meanings.
Just wondering.
I am Mohawk if this helps.
Thank you for your help.

Sure you are, honey. Mohawks are widely known for maintaining their traditions - which they have to ask total strangers about - because they're "really cool." This belief is known in their language as "The Mother Spirit is way awesome. Number one! Woooo! Mohawks freakin' rule!"

She might want to consider Karé:ken Kaná:taro as a good Mohawk name. It means "White Bread."

---

ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD SUGGESTIONS FOR A FIRST NAME THAT GOES WITH THE MIDDLE NAME SARAH? THIS IS MY TWIN SISTER'S NAME, AND IF I HAVE MY 5TH GIRL IN A ROW LOL THEN I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO USE HER NAME AS A MIDDLE NAME. CAN'T USE IT AS A FIRST NAME BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CIERRA AND IT IS WAY TOO CLOSE. MY OTHER KIDS' NAMES IF IT HELPS ARE: NATHANIEL ORION, SHAYLYNN NYCOLE, CIERRA RENEE, SAVANNAH HALEIGH, AND ARIANNA GRACE.

Holy crap, she's got a WNBA team going. Trained in the ancient kung-fu arts by the Shaylynn monks.

---

So what are your opinions on Haven for a girl, and do you have any middle name suggestions? Don't worry about hurting my feelings, just be honest. My husband and I love this name. OH! I would really love to know your husbands' opinions on this name. It is just a theory of mine, so ask them if they are around. So I want you and your husbands' opinions, and any middle name suggestions. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU ALL!!!

Don't worry about hurting my feelings... it's just something I love and treasure, and even the blandest of unenthusiastic comments will break my heart into a million, billion pieces. No, really, give me your brutally honest opinion, so that your politely disagreeing comments will make a pregnant woman weep for days, which I'm sure you'll enjoy, you cruel, demonic wench.

Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark formulating theories about your husbands. No, I won't tell you what they are - I'll just let you suffer as you make me suffer. You pitiless cow.

So, what do you think of Haven?

---

Which name do you think?

Brecklyn Kate

OR

Ridgely Mae

I'm torn between the two.

Thanks, Brooke

And I'm torn between why your name ideas are "Welshman recites New York's boroughs" and "The other guy from Wham."

Why not something hip and modern, like "Stetten Eeland" and "The bassist from Culture Club."

---

Which spelling is best for baby boy?

Tristan

Tristen

Trystan

Triston

Tristain

Other

And which spelling is best for giving people an aneurysm? Angering them, making them treat you with malice, aversion, and tristain?

---

Here is a sample from Names Through the Ages by Teresa Norman.

Female names:

Aelfreda - elf strength

Agatha - pure, strength

Beatrix / Beatrice - bringer of happiness

Eadu - wealth

Edith - wealthy battle

Everild - boar battle

Muriel - sea bright

Osthryth - God's strength

Sigga - victory

Theode - people, nation

Male names:

Adhelm - noble helmet

Beorn - warrior, brave

Cenwig - brave in battle

Dunstan - hill stone

Eadmund - wealthy protection

Eadulf - wealthy wolf

Godric - God's ruler

Heahstan - tall stone

Tunric - town ruler

Tunwulf - town wolf

I don't really need to say anything here, do I? I mean, really, we're mostly adults here, we're reasonable people - do I really have to say anything about a name that means "wealthy wolf" and sounds like chronic sinus congestion?

Baby naming bulletin boards are peppered with people like this posting massive lists of medieval Norse, or Welsh, or Celtic names and their (cough) meanings. (Any Spanish or Italian or Greek or Farsi or Korean or Aztec or Egyptian or Gabonian names? No. Just the uber-pale peoples of the world.) Hiding amongst them are always a couple acceptable names, and the rest are chorus parts from Wagner's Ring cycle.

I'll be honest - I have no freakin' clue what these people are trying to accomplish.

---

What does everyone think about Oleander for a girl's, or possibly a boy's, name??? Cute nicknames??

This is from the International Oleander Society (note: it's their mission to promote this plant.):

Oleanders contain a toxin called Cardenolide Glycosides. The toxin is mostly contained in the sap which is clear to slightly milky colored, and sticky. When ingested in certain quantities, this toxin can cause harm - and possibly death. The extremely bitter and nauseating taste of the sap (much like a rotten lemon) causes a mechanical reflex in the stomach which rejects and expels the vile substance.

---

What do you think of the name Allegra? It is Italian, and means cheerful and lively.

Side effects are low in seasonal allergy users and may include headache, cold, or back pain. People with kidney ailments should consult their doctor before taking Allegra.

Look, it's just your bad luck when a product or TV character or popular porn star or Rick Santorum ends up having your name, but if they came out with it first.... just walk away.

---

We have narrowed our name choices for our daughter down to 3... Aidan, Ciara (Key-ara), or Sierra. We're worried about a few things with these names... mispronunciation, misspelling, and confusion for girl / boy. (I've lived with a very uncommon name and hated it, but seems like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!)

I am Italian and would like a bit of "Italy" in the name, since our last name is of Irish descent, and these first names are all pretty much Irish as well.

(A sample response):

For a middle name, I would suggest Caramia. I think Aiden Caramia would be pretty. Or Sierra Bella. (Can you tell I don't know much Italian?)

Seems the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and the tree has forgotten being a sapling. And has as firm a grasp on geography, gender, society, and ethnicity as our Mohawk buddy does on her Indo-Pakistani roots.

Just plain no comment of the response. Except that her knowledge of Italy is so limited, I'm amazed she realized "Italian" comes from "Italy." And she got her suggested name off a jar of marinated artichoke hearts.

---

I have started to have a real liking for 'made-up' names... I guess because they are so original. I have seen some really good ones on [a particular baby names hellhole] and I was wondering if you guys could tell me more! I'm not picky, I don't care if people have heard someone with the name before, etc., just anything that is really original and not technically a name...

These are the ones I've seen here that I love;

Avrielle

Olivianna

Sophelia (these two are good because I love Olivia and Sophie, but find them too common)

Allorah

Fairith

Sabriel

Katrien...

That's all I can think of right this moment...

Also, I love word names... tell me all the word names you can think of!
I like;

Patience

Sailor

Meadow

Journey

Lyric

Ever

Rose

Samaya

Grey

Chance

True

Journey

And one more thing, I love place names... nice-sounding ones;

India

Ireland

Asia

Dallas

London

Any names that you would put in these three catergories that you think also sound nice would be appreciated! Thanks beforehand. :)

Yup, you just saw Journey twice.

Like 99.9 percent of people who think they've invented names, and that these names are oh-so-ungrotesque, she is mistaken on both counts.

On point one, they are almost always hybrids of two or more Celticy / Old Englishy names and only found in sci-fi / fantasy novels, role-playing games, and derivative fan fiction.

I looked ALL the "invented" names up on your behalf. Seeing as I have a pathological, bordering on irrational hatred of the fantasy genre, this was sort of like having a vegan volunteering to take a tour of the Hormel plant on your behalf:

Avrielle - some sort of role-playing squirrel beast on some guy's Web site. The site crashed my computer before I finished reading what the heck it was.

Olivianna - wizard guild site. I guess wizards need collective bargaining and union job protections.

Sophelia - Very popular with goths. I found it as a goth role-playing character, an over-affected pen and ink goth drawing, and a goth character in a Arthurian-type online novella with terrible web design.

Allorah is some sort of online psychic ("I see an ISP bill in your future..."), and Allora (no H) is a town of 1,500 in Queensland, Australia.

Fairith is mentioned on this guy's site, but I couldn't figure out what the hell he was going on about, and Babelfish doesn't have a translator for "Spell-casting wanker."

Sabriel is the title character of a real, actually-published book by Garth Nix in which "Sabriel is a necromancer, and as such is caught between two worlds. In her case, the worlds are Ancelstierre, where she grew up, and the Old Kingdom, where charter magic holds sway and her destiny lies." Which, if I'm not mistaken, is what it says on every fantasy book cover ever. The cover illustration holds up my theory, as Sabriel is depicted in the typical mystical elfin fantasy style: consumptive pencilneck in a doublet.

Katrien appears to be a name used in Belgium and the Netherlands - one of the first sites on a web search I found was "Dirk en Katrien's nude amateur homepage." Personally, I think it sounds sort of like the French for "eighty."

Samaya is the daily newspaper of the state of Orissa, in eastern India.

Ever is the European Association for Vision and Eye Research. As an adverb, it means, "at all times," as in, "One who thinks Ever is a name is ever crazy, and should be ever locked up."

---

ask names: Which the best pronunciation of names with Ken?

Ken Kami?

Ken Kadmon?

Ken Raphael?

Ken Kinkson?

I don't know, I don't want to know, what this guy's on.

---

I cannot see myself naming any of my children these names, but I wanted to know what everyone else thought. I found them in a magazine, and they are names of teen models:

Taisy

Ilfenesh

Nellie / Nelly

Spencer

Mai

All of these names were for girls by the way. :)

Ditto for these girls' parents AND the lady who submitted this, just because of her perky tone.

---

What do you think of the name Eitan (pr. Ay-tawn)? I saw it on a Bratz Boyz doll, and thought it was pretty cool.

Is there a classier place to get your child's name than from this strangely feminine fashion toy?

I thought not.

---

having twins... what names do you like?

girls:

Irelyn Knoah(pr: Noah)

Brelyn Riley(pr: Bre-Lynn)

Ashleigh Nicole

Braelyn Makendra(pr: Bray-Lyn)

Boys:

Ashlan Aydan

Bradyn Teague

Creighton Isaiah

Cayle Miciah

You know how to make fortune cookie fortunes funny, you add "...in bed" to the end? Try adding these names to serious news stories.

"Three-term U.S. Senator Braelyn Makendra Graham (D-Florida) is gearing up for a fierce fight going in to the New Hampshire primary."

"OPEC's decision to keep production capped at 25.4 million barrels a day was a wise move, says economist Ashlan Aydan Richardson."

"The members of the 2002 Pulitzer Prize Board included Louis D. Boccardi, president and CEO of the Associated Press; Tom Goldstein, dean of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism; and Wall Street Journal managing editor Irelyn Knoah Steiger."

---

So I know Leto is a girl's name, but I recently read a book where it was used for a boy, and thought that might be a good real boy's name. WDYT?

WDYT? IT, WTF?

Yes, Leto is a girl's name... in ancient Greek mythology. Since then, it's usually used as slang by Tonight Show writers for when Jay Leno won't sign a joke into law. (Letos can only be overturned by a 2/3rds vote by the audience.)

---

My husband and I ... have begun the process of actually adopting an 8-month old girl with special needs. She has a name which neither my husband or I are fond of, and we would like to change it.

Her current name is: Rainey Marie

We'd like to maybe use Raine as a middle name.

Our choices (we'd love suggestions)

Annika Rain nickname Annie

Kaya Belle

Ivy Christine

Liv nickname Livvie (we also love Olivia, but it's so common)

Quinn Rebecca

Saraya Rose nickname Sari

Phoebe Kiara

Gabriella Raine nickname Bria

Audra Lark


Henry Matteo is the sibling name, and our last name is [removed].

Now I think these names are across the board awful, but it's especially mean to give a tough name to a kid with special needs. I remember reading a story in a magazine that included a girl with severe retardation named Cassiopeia. I can't even imagine her frustration.

Meanwhile, how amazing is it to find a kid named Henry, even if he has a rather ill-fitting middle name. Henry! A breath of friggin' air!

---

What would you name a sibling for....

Mackenzie?

Ok and let me say that I am NOT asking for opinions on the name Mackenzie. It has been said and done. I am asking what kind of sibling names you think would go well with Mackenzie. So please, no debates.

...

And if you hate the name so much you can't bear to think about it any longer, then don't reply... you're forgiven :).

OK, I think I've done plenty of ranting over 15 pages about people tailoring their kids into sets, but the idea that someone's ONLY requirement for a name is it "goes" with Mackenzie is so extreme it makes it hard to resist the urge to split my own head open with a mid-sized hatchet.

But that's not all! This post comes a day or so after a big-ass rumble over the name Mackenzie. (Well, as close to a rumble as you can get going on a baby name bulletin board - they are extreme in their censorship of even the most polite criticism.) This rumble is the reason for the going on... and on.... and on.... about why this mom doesn't want any opinions of Mackenzie, just suggestions.

SO, after obviously having knowledge of the debate, and a fear of it spilling over to her name search, does it strike anyone else as... shall we say, ill-conceived... that she ask these same people for a name where the only requirement is it "goes" with Mackenzie???

You'd think her fear of confrontation would drive her to, oh, I don't know, find ANY other parameter. ("we don't want to name her after any skin diseases.") As opposed to offering benediction in advance to people who commit the egregious sin of "if you can't say something nice, so don't say anything at all."

I loathe this entry.

---

Well, I would name a child Elisabeth or Alexander lol ... but otherwise

Emmarie, Delaney, Kendall, Kelsey, Eleri, Courtney, Mallory, Madison, Bronte, Michaela, Bethany, Caitlin, Kayleigh, Ashleigh, Brittany, Cassidy, Shannon, Peyton, Meredith, Addison, Ashlynn, Isabella, Morgana, Chelsea, Georgia, Taylor, Evelynn, Rowan, Kyleigh

Brandon, Logan, Elliot, Harrison, Jackson, Chandler, Wyatt, Garrett, Mitchell, Prentice, Westley, Griffin, Brendan, Zachary, Marshall, Randall, Braydon, Jefferson, Jamison

Well, my last comments were pretty wordy, so I'll cut this one short:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Which name(s) best fits these qualities? Consider nicknames, too.

1. Works well on a child or an adult

2. Feminine, but strong

3. Not popular or trendy

Autumn

Calla

Greenlie

Kendall

Lana

Liv nickname Livvie (only used as a child)

Mattea nickname Thea

Maxine nickname Maxie (only used as a child)

River

Willa

Irony, you cold bitch. She pegs a couple number ones, some that are at least 50% number two, and two that are number three - but none that are all of them. How she plans to regulate her adult daughter's nicknames is beyond me.

And then there's Greenlie. Would someone, anyone, anywhere, please explain what she's smoking that she could ask for something mature and confident, and have Greenlie included as a possibility?

"I want to give my kid a strong, mature, classic name, so I'm calling her Dainty Froufroubottom."

Bad Baby Names, Part VIII: Of Thee I Scream

Part VIII: Of Thee I Scream

---

What is a nature-related name for a boy? I am pregnant with a boy, and I already have four girls. My girls are Summer Skies, Autumn Night, April Shower, and Spring Flower. Please help! I am due in November.

Star Light

Star Light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, let this lady be a mental patient whose "children" are actually straws she stole from the hospital cafeteria.

---

starlight --

how about:

Winter Snow

Forest Greene

or
Sage August

How 'bout Oy and Vey.

---

My son is named Mason, and I don't see what is wrong with that. I have been suffering with my husband saying that if this baby is a girl, he'll name her America. I have tried to change his mind thousands of times, but he is stubborn. It's not that I'm not patriotic; I'm just thinking ahead to her school days. I don't want my child to have to endure being called "Miss America" or any other corny attempts at humor.

Damn it, woman! If you don't name your baby America, the terrorists win! Every patriot must go out and name their baby America!

Miss America, my ass. It's the Coming to America jokes I'd fear.

---

How about Amaricus or just Maricus. Maricus kind of goes with Mason. When someone asks your kids' names, you can say Mason and Maricus. They are different and unique. It still goes with America. Maybe you don't like it now, but it may grow on you. If you kind of like them, run them by your husband. Also, if your child gets called 'Miss America,' it'll be a comment.

Er, yes. It will be a comment. Now I'm going to drink a bottle of Scotch. It will be a drink!

I think it'd be funnier if the kids were named Maricus and Mason, and when someone asks their kids' names, she could go, "Consuelo and Rudolfo." They are different and unique.

---

Pick a name that stands for something. A unique name. If it's a boy, America. If it's a girl, Americus. Those are just two names. Liberty. Pick something that makes you and your partner both happy. Don`t listen to other people (I know I sound hipacritical, but listen to your heart.

Oh, dude, you are like critically hip. You're hipacritical!

Now I know it's like criticizing the paint job on the Titanic, but wouldn't Americus be a better boy name, and America a better girl name?

---

There is a girl who is in my classes at college, Morgan. She is the most popular person in the world. I am a pack rat, so I save newspapers. I was looking through them, and I found out that she was even more popular as a kid then she is now. She is in about seven of the newspapers. Then I was thinking, "Morgan... what a pretty name." I decided that my baby, if it is a girl, will be named Morgan Elizabeth. Is that a good name?

Funny, I thought most stalkers were too busy working on their basement shrines to meet someone and get knocked up.

---

For the record, I and my "normal" name (Rachel Diane) got more crap in school than you would think possible. I was suicidal, fortunately didn't get preggers (although many others with "normal" names did), and dealt with a rather nasty drug problem for several years. If my name were, say, "Candyland Starship," would my life had been any different? I don't think so.

Well-established scientific fact: People with normal names are destined for crap, drug abuse, and pregnancy. (Though she's putting no time frame on this tale... is she happy because she didn't get pregnant at age 35? If so, she's preaching to the wrong choir. These women are desperate to have hobbies.... I mean.... children.)

I prefered it when they were Candyland Airplane myself.

---

What does everyone think about naming boy and girl twins Karlee Autumn and Kory Allen after my brother Kory Allen? Their sisters are Arielle Dakota and Tatum Mercedes.

Wait... Kory Allen's named after who again?

I could write a lengthy essay about people naming their kids after luxury automobiles. Yes, I know Mercedes is a real girl's name, but why is it becoming more popular at the same time as variations on Lexus and Porshe? (not Portia)... but I think the point is too obvious to waste bandwidth on.

---

Just found out I am pregnant. Already, my husband and I cannot decide on a name. Luckily, I have a long time to convince him! LOL ... We have one 6-year old-son named Collin, so I'd like something that goes with that. I like Lillian Elizabeth and Tristan David. My husband likes Karma Jade and Isaiah David. We can't agree, so I think we should look for different names altogether. Thanks for any help!

Again, a strategy I'm not getting. They pick names on their own, and because they didn't come up with the same ones, they start over? My very basic probability skills (and an email from Chris at UWash to correct me) say that the odds of two people thinking of two names of a mere five random letters each (random being the favored method of creating a bad baby name) are 1 in 380,204,032 (including rAndOm caPitalIzatIon). And that's only in the Latin alphabet.

Try new Karma Jade! The mystical good luck charm used for centuries in the mysterrrrrious Orient!

---

I am also having trouble coming up with a name for my baby girl due in October. What do you think about Carlie Rebecca or Sara Beth? My brother's name is Charlie, and I would like to name her after him, but my husband doesn't like the name "Rebecca." I'm having trouble coming up with middle names that go with Carlie.... my name is Beth -- is it okay to have that for my child's name as well? (my husband likes the idea) ... Also, I would love for the name to really mean something; we love the outdoors -- we do a lot of biking and hiking.

Carlie Schwinn

Carlie Poisonoak

Carlie Roadrash

Carlie Off!

Carlie Emergencyflare

---

My husband wants to name our baby Xavier Robert if it's a boy. I want to name it Michaela Ann if it's a girl. The ultrasound shows that the baby is a boy.

And he'll create soft dolls with bizarre football-shaped plastic heads.

---

One name that you could use - Nevaeh My cousin used this. It is "heaven" spelled backwards. Summer Nevaeh would be pretty.

See, what'd I say about random letters?

---

I had a little girl nine months ago, and I named her Gennavieve Luaraleigh. I still have not come across any babies with that name yet. (I just wanted to put that out there as a suggestion to anyone else)

... because she's desperate to assuage her guilt in having named her child such a lengthy mishmash of phonetic and aggressively anti-phonetic spellings.

---

I have a daughter named Emma Grace, and another named Brooklyn Hope. I was wondering if I should name my next daughter Nicole Faith or Kennedy Faith.

Brooklyn Hope? Kennedy Faith? How 'bout Cedars-Sinai and round out the "My kids sound like medical centers" triumverate?

---

My Life as an Overzealous PC Apologist: Chapter 1

Sometimes when people post their favorite names on here, we may think that they have the most ridiculous taste in the world. But there are so many people, in different cultures and places, and so their version of a beautiful name might be slightly different then ours. Get over it, and name your children what you love. Some people come on here for advice, and providing your opinion is different than knocking their choices.... Just don't hate on others!

So it's OK to provide your opinion as long as you don't actually criticize their choice, even though most of them aren't so much making choices as... asking for opinions. And the vast majority of the names have no tie whatsoever to any sort of identifiable ethnicity besides Would-Be Yuppie on Too Much Xanax. Um, yeah.

Don't worry, I don't hate on others. Their kids will do it for me.

---

My wife and I decided to name our daughter MARA JADE after the mother in Star Wars. If it's a boy, we'll name him ANAKEN MICHAEL. We are Star Wars fanatics. Do you think we went too far?

First off, and I had to look all this up, the mother of Anaken Skywalker is named Shmee. Now there's a name. Mara Jade is a character from the many geek book sequels who thusly is described by the official Star Wars Web page:

She was once known as the Emperor's Hand -- a highly skilled assassin and operative who could hear Emperor Palpatine's bidding from across the galaxy. Trained since childhood and honed into a weapon, Mara learned self-sufficiency, piloting, marksmanship, and talents in the Force while serving her dark master.

This charmer, after many fascinating adventures in many silly-named places and after many attempts to kill Luke Skywalker, ends up marrying him. Then together, they go on fascinating adventures to silly-named places.

Reading this fulfills your entire yearly geek info quota.

Next up, the Web site says the correct spelling is Anakin, but in any spelling, it's a stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid name, and unless the kid hones the ability to strangle people with his mind and sound like James Earl Jones, his life will be a nightmare of unimaginable proportions.

---

My brother and his wife recently had a baby, and they chose the name Hektor Joseph. My whole family at first was against the first name Hektor, and then it was a uncomfortable time when they had a baby boy.

So the issue was they thought it was a bad name for a girl?

---

I prefer to name my first girl Sam or Stads and my first boy Chris-Webb or Jason-Collins

All I have to say is, "The hell???"

---

My firstborn has a name that no one else has. He is a first, Abeus. (Abe E us) It is a strong name, and as for getting along with other children his age, there is not a doubt in my mind he has friends. He gets along with other children, and is not picked on because of his name.

This is one of my favorites. It has everything, nice and compact. It's got a bad name, which sounds like a combination or fragment of a normal one, spelled strangely, and emphasized poorly.

Plus, it has a mother who insists the child is unique, and then insists in a rather desperate tone that he isn't a total social outcast, spurned by humanity and destined to live in a sewer in the bowels of Gotham City because of the badly-spelled, poorly-emphasized bad, bad name. Really, she acts like having friends is something you believe in, as an act of faith, as opposed to something you witness with your own eyes.

All this, and there's a good bet the kid's no more than 10, so she's presumably watching him with her own eyes a good deal. Is she rationalizing the time the kids locked Abeus in the composting toilet as a friendly hazing incident?

(Reader Tom points out, and I can't believe I missed it, that Abeus is an anagram of "abuse." )

---

I know that I have said this a million times before,

None of which we've heard before, thank you.

but it really irks me when people get on this board and tell people that they shouldn't name their children unique / modern names. Their argument is that when they get older, their "cute" name won't make any sense. I get what they are saying, and I respect their opinions, but this is the way it is, people!!

And because it is the way it is, all those who don't think it should be will be ordered on to trucks and shipped to labor camps until they decide to name their kids Mykynzy.

Look at the paper once and see the birth announcements... they are all newer names. Go to a kindergarten class and look at the attendance sheet... they are all newer names also. Face it, times are changing.

You vill like zee stupid names! Old names are counter-revolutionary!

I lived in a world where there were a million Joshes, Matts, and Davids. Now there are a million Kaylas, Samanthas, and Brittanys.
Pretty soon, there are going to be a million Braydens, Jordans, and Madisons. Don't worry about your child growing up to be a Grandma MacKenzie, because that is going to be a normal name for her generation. Just like we have Grandma Mildreds and Grandpa Franks, whose names have gone out years and years ago.

Yeah, well, I lived in a world where plurals aren't spelled with apostrophes. "Comrade's! To give your kid's normal name's is against the teaching's of our fearless leader! You will change your way's and have lots of kid's with pretentious name's!"

Meanwhile, this staunch advocate of doofy names has gone and unravelled the primary pro-doofy name argument: Unique names make kids unique. Over and over, I've read people complaining they don't want their kid to be Jenny W. or Kevin P. at school, when all they've done is set up their kids to be the even more silly Braden J. or Brooklynn M. Damn you, irony!

Bad Baby Names, Part VI: When You're in Love, The Whole World's Welsh

Part VI: When You're in Love, The Whole World's Welsh

---

My daughter is due in November. She and her husband like the names Dylon Micheal, but there is already a Dylon in the family. I think she should go with an unusual name. Any suggestions?

Wait, your unborn baby has a husband?

---

I think it's good to name your baby a name different from anyone else's baby, because there is so many people who have the same name your baby have or it's very difficult. Also, it's hard to name your baby a different name, because when you think that no-one have that name there will be someone who have the same name your baby have when think you have named your baby different. so, you really can't think of any name that's different from anyone unless it's something made up.

I really, really hope English is this person's second or third language, and if she were writing in Albanian or Farsi or whatever, she would be so eloquent you'd weep.

---

Thanks for y'all help! but, y'all don't know the meaning for the name Krissy coz I like that name for a baby! Could you help me!

Well, I reckon it means "Busty gal from Three's Company what wore them tight shirts. Now shet up and get me a beer!"

---

We named our first child (a girl) Chase. She is a toddler now, and wears it well. Sometimes, it fits her all too well! We love it, and everyone seems to give it a positive response when they hear it, too!

As opposed to giving a positive response when they don't hear it.

And another one...

---

We would love to get some input from anyone out there. What does everyone think of Chase? (we endearingly call her Chasey or Chasey-Mae) Her full name is Francesca Brandlynn; this way (though we hope she loves "Chase" too), she will have options; she can go with Fran' Chesa, or Frannie or Franka or Chasen...

Upon her birth, Francesca Brandlynn's parents had the horrifying realization: They had fallen behind in the mad dash to come up with the strangest name they could and soon, the Soviets would perfect the Ultimate Dumb-Ass Name. Francesca's parents knew the U.S. could not afford a Weird Name Gap, and began renaming their child over and over, each getting stranger and more distant from her original name.

The child was later mistaken for an amnesiac when, asked by a police officer what her name was, she said (crying), "I don't know."

---

Seeing that we the taxpayers are paying for these kids, please don't call him Cornie.

Hey, pal, I'll call my kid Cornie Carnielynn, and you can't stop me! Not you or your big government, Mr. Taxpayer!

---

I am going to have a baby girl in May, and I'm having trouble with her name. Her middle name has to be Marissa, because my friend Marissa made her baby's middle name my name. Okay, I like Raven Marissa, Daysha Marissa, and Kiandra Marissa... but I can't decide which. A few people have said that Raven sounds like a stripper, but I think it's pretty! HELP ME!

Daysha and Kiandra Marissa look like Jumble questions to me.

---

Back in '63 when I was born, my mom didn't get to name me. I found out later that my Grandma in fact named all of my siblings besides me. I was sad about this when my mom finally told me at age 37. My Grandma (from my stepfather's side) gave me her first name as my middle, and her mother's name as my first. I was named Barbara Fay.

Fascinating. You're a lucky, lucky person if the most upsetting thing in your life is waiting 37 years to find out you've got a family name because your grandma thought it'd be nice.

I am Japanese and British descent. My mom teased me and said I was named after that darn Barbie doll. I am the opposite, that is for sure... short with black hair. My Japanese and British side just happens to be blue blood.

Your Japanese and British side. So, in other words, all of you is blue blood. It must be tough getting transfusions!

Two years ago now, I decided to change my name in court. I decided to add a little touch to my name of Barbara (since I might not answer to anything else) and took my mother's first and middle name as MY middle name to HONOR her. Then of course switched my last name to my proper blood line.

OK, so you're sad that Grandma named you after her mother, your relative. So you change your middle name to your mom's middle name, so you're even more drenched in family names, and change your last name to the one you consider more "fitting"? (that is, snooty.)

I DON'T regret this at all... I would hope that my unborn child loves his or her name that we choose. For I WILL NOT let anyone other than my husband and me name our baby like my poor mom had to go through! It is a sad story that now has a great ending.

Again, you're lucky if this is the closest to tragedy you've ever faced, you miraculous survivor. By the way, why in the name of all that is holy are you telling me this?

---

My first son's name was Cash, people made fun of it, but then he kinda grow to it and people started likeing it better. and he started like goin to school after the second grade, now my best friend named her two childern bill and cash, it was so cute

Somehow, I don't think this lady liked going to school after second grade. I don't think she went, period.

---

Here are a few names for girls that I like a lot.

Autumn Dawn
Autumn Grace

Cyndal, Shelby, Bethany, Shayna, Kendra, Leah, August, Alayna (Laynie for short), Gracey, Madelyn, Summer, Mara, Sable, Sadie, Anna, Hillary. I like old names.

Yeah. There are lots of Kendras in the Bible. And Shelby was a popular Elizabethan name.

---

Well here is the problem my husband and I are having. I am due any day now, and like the rest of you, wondering what to name our daughter. I like the name Cicely, and my husband wants the name Ticely. I have mixed emotions about that, and my parents don't like it. But then I found the name Taybree, and I think I really like it. Our last name is Thomson. My oldest is KaeLeigh Brooke and our son is Terrell Jay, and we call him TJ anyways. Suggestions are always nice.

How 'bout name her Shmicely and beat bullies to the punch?

---

My mother's name is Stella. Her mother was Gertrude. Mom's grandmother was Sylvia. Feel free to use any of these family heirlooms.

"We decided to name her Gertrude Stella Johnson."

"Oh, that's nice. Are those family names?"

"No, they're the names of some total strangers' relatives and mean absolutely nothing to us."

"Oh."

You just know this lady's gonna name her kids Ruger and Ashelynn, and needed some Yuppie Absolution. What she really needs is a dictionary, to help her with that really, really complicated "heir" part of "heirlooms."

---

We are having a girl. We want to name her Altum Rose. There are a few problems. The baby is due in March? My mothers name is Rose. We had i rose around the house bloom in autum... so I thought that would be good name.

Well, I don't see how Altum conflicts with March...... Oooh, I see. You're a mutant who can't even sound out words before you spell them. Greaaat.

---

Jaden Christopher Brandon Thomas Reign (girl) Syre (boy)

Reign? Syre? Hmm, somebody's been playing too many Japanese medieval vampire warrior video games.

---

The following list was written, literally, with no spaces. I've divided it up so each name gets the special attention it deserves.

Beautiful Welsh names (girls)

Aelwen (fair brow)

Arwen (Fair)

Briallen (primrose)

Drudwen (precious)

Ceindrych (Elegant, fair)

Ceiros (Cherries)

Cerian (to love) Ce pronouced as KEE

Crisiant (crystal)

Faleiry (Welsh form of Valerie)

Fflur (flower)

Eiddwen Eira, Eiry (snow)

Enfys (rainbow)

Eswen (strength)

Eurwen (fair and golden)

Gwennant (fair stream)

Gwennog (smiling)

Gwylan (seagull)

Gwyneira (white snow)

Haf (summer)

Heulwen (sunshine)

Iorwen (Lord, beautiful)

Llio Meinir (maiden)

Meinwen (slender and fair)

Melangell (sweet angel)

Saeran (an Irish saint)

Tegan (beautiful)

Wynne (fair, blessed)

BOMB WALES NOW! Seriously, take any one of these words, put "Marie Johnson" behind it, and try not to laugh. Now imagine the kindergarten teacher trying to say Fflur on the first day of school. That's right. We need to bomb Wales now.

Actually, I take that back. Having been to Wales, and having met no one with any of the above crimes... I mean, names... I think we should restrict bombing to this woman's house.

---

I have a 7 yr. old daughter named Mariah Carrie [last name] ... as you can tell, my husband really likes the singer. We even have a picture with the real Mariah Carey and my Mariah Carrie together. So we are expecting our second child in April, and I think we should stick with a singer / star name since we started it with Mariah, yet we call her Maya. Sex is unknown, so if it's a boy, I like Marc Anthony, and if it's a girl, Aaliyah Marie. What do you guys think? Any suggestions? Any star / singer names?

[No comment, just the sound of muffled weeping.]

---

I didn't have this much trouble naming my first three kids, either ~~ they are: Michelle Kaye, Kathleen Cierra, and Abbey Julieanna. What do you think of Kaylyn Arriana? Also, do you like the spelling Kaylan or Kaylyn better?

Observe the evolution from sanity to madness. First the middle names are spelled funny, then there are odd names spelled funny, then creeping into strangely spelled but normal first names, then all hell breaks loose.

---

I think naming your own child is very personal. It also is passed down from your parents. For example, my mother always tried to give us orginal names. My younger sister's name is Beaudra. Yet my husband's family gave practical names. His name is Reed, and Becky and Elizabeth are his sisters. So our children are Gabriel James and Darrian Reed. We are expecting a girl, and her name will be CrystalLynn Elise.

Do you think CrystalLynn, with its double L and intra-name capitalization is the real spelling, or, based on this woman's "original" grasp of spelling and punctuation, that it's a terrible, terrible mistake? Or it's just a terrible mistake, period.

(Added joke for people old enough to remember the jingle: "I believe in CrystalLynn 'cause it believes in MEEEEEE!")

---

For a girl I was thinking of naming her Quinlynn or Quinnlyn or something spelt similar. I can't find it in any books. What do you think of this name? Does it sound feminine?

No, it sounds like a 19th century cure for malaria.

---

Great name... I love Quinlynn, have you thought about adding a syllable to make pronunciation easier? I only say that because my name is Angelique Jacquelyn. I like Quinelyn or Quinylin or Quinalynn.

So really you're saying it to spread your misshappen evil around, making a confusing name surrealistically bizarre? Interesting.

---

I am having a baby naming dilemma myself. I am working on a girl name. I really want something original. The family middle name is Mercedes, so at least that is handled. (I got used to the name when I met his family... the women are strong and passionate) It means "Virgin Mary" and is Latin.

Yeah, but do you have a last name picked out?

The name I really like and haven't told my husband yet is Aemezolina Mercedes. I love the huge name, but I think I would call her Mollie for short. It is an Indian name that I have changed a bit. Versions of it are also African and Latin. As far as I could find, it has a root that means "tower" or "strength." I also like Isadora, but have much more passion for the first name. I would love help.

Well, the first step is admitting you need help. Good for you.

Have these people grasped yet that a kid's not really named after something if their creativity-starved parents go and screw around with the spelling? Um.... no.

---

I love the name Bretlyn Nichole for a girl and Braynt Adam for a boy. My last name is [last name], so I think those names would sound good together. What do y'all think?

I continue to pray these are horrible mis-typings. Even if that's supposed to be "Bryant Adam," it's horrible and mean. And if it really is supposed to be "Braynt"... I don't want to live.

---

Does anyone like these names... Blaine, Thomas, Tatiauna, Jane, Kendal, Landon, Chloe, Lynn, Trenton, Daniel, Kerin, Elizabeth?

Hmm... how many rude things can we come up with to play off Tatiauna? I got six in 30 seconds! It's like a Boggle game!

---

My first daughter's name is Unique Melanie [last name]. I wanted her first name to be unique, and she has my first name as her middle. I am 7 months pregnant, and if it's a girl, her name will be Angel or Destiny Lanell [last name]. If it's a boy, his name will be Maki (ma-ky-i) Donte'.

All right, I'll give her credit for skipping to the chase and just naming the kid "Unique." None of this Amberashlynn Daysharla crap. Save everyone the time and tell them exactly what to think. But, damn it, there's no way on this earth you can make people pronounce Maki with three syllables. Not unless you pay everyone on earth at least $50. More to the Japanese, who will laugh their asses off that you're naming your baby after a type of sushi.

---

If I had a little girl, I would name her Catatonia Calliope. Catatonia meaning "catatonic or in a coma," and Calliope meaning "beautiful voice." I know it's a tad odd, but I like it!

See, it means she has a beautiful voice. With no brain activity. And drools and needs a catheter. And is played at circuses!

---

I love the name Meloncholia Francessca Antouinette for a girl, and Zakeri Atruellu for a boy, but my family and spouse absolutely hate it.

I don't know what his problem is. How can he be made sad by a perky name like Meloncholia?