Computer restarted overnight... ugh! Called Henry about half an hour ago, who said he'd wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to be there last week. The time for that would have been anytime before Thursday evening, dude! Of course I'll be at Awana in a couple of hours, so he better pick me up this week! Crazy person. :P (I hear he's also getting his sister Teresa addicted to JACK BAUER, hahaha!)
This is from What Not to Name Your Baby
by Joe Borgenicht.D
Daaron: To encourage one to do something really, really stupid... like jumping off the roof to see if one can fly.
Dagger: A long, sharp knife most often used to stab people after they trustingly turn their backs to you.
Dajuan: Spanish pronunciation of "the one," as in "Yes, Officer... that's Dajuan who stole my purse."
Dakota: Twin states separated by an imaginary line. Also, daytime television star who, after unknowingly marrying his sister, drove off a cliff (tried to get a job in feature films), and then returned after plastic surgery to exact revenge on his stepfather.
Dalton: Pseudoclassy. Dalton's brothers and sisters will be Bentley, Tremayne, and Ashlee.
Darmarcius: Located west of the fens and south of the mountains, this area is swampy and host to malarial mosquitos.
Damien: A head-spinning child of the devil. Also, a priest who administered to lepers. Exceptions to the rule: if your last name is Thorn, Omentwo, or Finalconflict.
Dandrey: A flaky scalp condition often treated with medicated shampoo.
Daniel / Dan: Just call him the ad-lib boy. "Dan, Dan the (fill in the blank) man..."
D'ante: Creator of fiery infernos.
Darth: Treacherous father. Child's heavy breathing will make him an outcast and a perfect recruit for cults or other, lesser-known evil empires.
David: A stoic boy with an unusually large hand who enjoys just standing around without any clothes on. The little guy who is always ready to take on the big guys.
Dax: A strong industrial cleanser able to get out the toughest biohazard stains.
DeAaron: What one must do when the temperature inside reaches ungodly heights: put DeAaron. Also, what one must be sure to do before descending under the watery depths in a submarine.
De-Arse: British. One's rear end.
DeeWayne: The love child of the toughest cowboy who ever lived and the prissy girl from Grease
Del Roy: Likely to pick up a strange-looking hitchhiker in the Nevada desert, who turns out to be either a reclusive billionaire or a space alien.
DeLawrence: It's de-lightful, it's de-lovely, it's DeLawrence!
De-Lewis: What the Multiple Dystrophy Society will do when they choose a new Labor Day telethon host.
DellBert: Unlike his brother, who found success in technology, DellBert continued his career in animal husbandry on the family farm.
De-Mario: To remove that very special essence of lasagna from a person, car, or house.
Demarkus: To delineate by a boundary. Also, to swear under one's breath, preferably at a teacher or family member.
DeMichael: Why is Michael such a dumbass? Why?
De-Morris: A person strongly opposed to finicky house pets.
Denim Levi: A textile magnate unable to wear comfortable blue garments.
Dent: A folded or flattened surface. This child's oddly-misshapen cranium will be the hit of the junior high school yearbook signing party.
De-Ole: Similar to "ye olde." Often used by grandpas talking about a movie from the past. "I'll show him De-Ole one-two punch."
DeRail: An interrupter. His citizenship marks will never be better than Unsatisfactory.
Derek: Machine consisting of cables and pulleys, used for moving heavy objects.
Derringer: A small, underpowered gun used by cheats and cowards.
Desert: A place where nothing can live but cactuses, bugs, and snakes. Name will often be misspelled and mistaken for its sweeter, postdinner cousin.
Dewight: A happy name adopted when a child can't say his L's.
Dewrangee: To make crazy, insane, or just plain nuts.
Dex: An accessible know-it-all in the West.
Dicy: Unstable and tentative. Also, associated with fuzzy mirror ornaments. May speak in nursery rhymes.
Diego: A fabulous zoo in Southern California. Exception to the rule: if your last name is Riverta, and you want people to wonder if your son is heir to a famous painter.
Digger: Nickname of Jock Ewing's business rival (and Miss Ellie's former love) on the '70s series Dallas
. A great name for a dog, cemetery manager, or miner.
Dillinger: Midwestern criminal who was best known to the American public through his pictures on post office Wanted posters. Not a great name for a family in the banking industry.
Dionysus: The Greek god of wine, fertility, and drama. To protect him from the wrath of Zeus' wife, Dionysus was raised as a girly god by his caretakers.
Dirk: A sharp, short Scottish sword. In the same league as Bruce, Lance, and Steve.
D'Loaf: To make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, first take two slices from D'Loaf of bread.
Dock: A place on the bay where you sit and watch the tide roll away. Child will become tired of being asked, "What's up?"
Dominic: Failed the game played with one rectangular piece. Development was quickly halted when Dominic's cousin realized that the game was more fun when played with multiple tiles.
Doni: A wealthy, conceited real estate baron with bad hair... best known for firing employees.
D'Orr: Often confused with "door," as in "Don't let the D'Orr hit you in the arse on your way out."
Dragon: A mythical beast that breathes fire and kills noble knights to steal their loot. Also associated with severe halitosis and long fingernails.
Drakkar: Popular '80s cologne effective in covering the smell of smoke or marijuana.
Dred: Sibling of fear and loathing. Also a rolled, matted hairdo that makes use of cow manure.
Dude: The tragic subject of the Aerosmith song who will have gender identity issues. Will grow up to become a valet parking attendant.
Duffin: Hairdresser affectionately known as Muffin by his significant other, Aquaman.
Duke: A badass gunslinger. Also, a fluffy ruler in the UK. Teachers will find his cocksure swagger, Liberace style of dress, and tendency to call the other children "pilgrim" annoying and distracting.
Dull: Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A child never invited to parties. An also-ran in the 2000 presidential election, and a spokesperson for a medical problem that men refuse to talk about.
Dylan: A hard-boiled Welsh poet who drank himself to death; a whiny '60s folk singer.
Labels: 2005, amusement, babies, baby's named a bad bad thing, books, dallas, daniel, derek, dominic, dragons, drugs, dylan, joe, kids, lists, maxed-out tags limit, names, phone calls, restarts, twins