Why do I gesticulate whilst talking on the PHONE?!

Eric called me AND left an MSN message for me early this afternoon, but I was still in bed. I didn't get those till 45 minutes later, so I called him back after I'd washed up. He asked whether I still had Awana (I believe so), and mentioned that he'd talked Dylan into getting me from church. Lesley's isn't downtown (he looked it up on the map), and Dylan would be closer in terms of distance to the church and such. Then he wondered whether I knew what Jon was doing... I briefly considered being like Cain and answering "Am I my brother's keeper?" but confined myself to repeating what Steph had said last night about the "Regent sleepover."

Also added that I didn't know what Jon was doing now, but Eric had left a message on his phone anyhow... guess he'll figure it out later! It's fine by me that Dylan is picking me up instead since I'm not the one who has issues with him... although it might be interesting when I try to get my sister to sign his birthday card! (I knew I should have done it during the AGM instead...) I just hope I don't have to speak TOO much French at Lesley's party... sigh. At least my friends are gonna be there? Heh.

Checked blogs, too: Vivian has teaching blurbs, and memories of past church meetings... laughing at or with the people trying to translate is certainly a staple of the AGMs, for sure! Steph is mighty relieved that she doesn't have to wear a skirt to work every day next week... and I almost typed "shirt." That would be SO many different kinds of wrong, I tell you! Spoz has a normal weekender thing up, Dave has pictures of a cold Halifax from a conference he attended recently, and Dawn has pictures from her travels in Shanghai and other places. Time constraints didn't allow her to visit Harbin or her beloved Beijing, but she's reached her limit in running around everywhere too. Hopefully, she'll be back here soon!

Cutting off your own parts / Lawry's Seasoned Salt

Today's Celebratory Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. Geoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England. After performing the deed, Mr. Huish put his severed anatomy in a bag and took them to his local social club to show fellow fans. He collapsed with blood loss and was rushed to hospital, but surgeons could not reattach his missing parts. He was put in a psychiatric ward, but has no history of mental illness and was at a loss to explain why he did it. "I'd told my pal Gethin Probert before the game that Wales didn't stand a chance," Mr. Huish told The Sun. "It wasn't a bet, but I said I'd cut my b*lls off if we won. I listened to the game on the radio at home by myself. After the match, I got up for a pee and saw the cutters in the bathroom. Gethin had left them after repairing the chain on my toilet. I remembered what I'd said and thought he had left them for me. I thought 'Oh no, I haven't got to do anything like that, have I' and then I thought 'You can do it.' So I started hacking away at my tackle. It took about 10 minutes and there was quite a bit of pain, but I just kept going. The cutters were blunt, so I had to keep snipping." After picking out his testicles from the toilet bowl, he went to the social club. "I went in and shouted out 'I've done it!'," Mr. Huish said. "I took my b*lls out and passed them in the bag to a friend. "Some people then laid me on the floor." Mr. Huish continues to see a psychiatrist. "I think about what happened every day, and still haven't come up with a good reason why," he said. "I'd had a lot going on and felt a bit down. I can't have kids now, but still want a family - maybe I'll adopt."

Culled from: The Sydney Morning Herald
Generously submitted by: Sandy

**********************************************************************

Okay, Bears fans... you know what to do on Sunday should your team buck the odds. I will just sit back and enjoy the post-game festivities!

*******

Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Now here's a Jewish gift that even a Comtesse could love! A Plush Plagues Bag!

Thanks to Joe for the link.

*******

Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

Two women in the afterlife:

1st woman: "Hi! My name is Wanda."

2nd woman: "Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?"

1st woman: "I froze to death."

2nd woman: "How horrible!"

1st woman: "It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?"

2nd woman: "I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV."

1st woman: "So, what happened?"

2nd woman: "I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died."

1st woman: "Too bad you didn't look in the freezer --- we'd both still be alive."


Lawry's Seasoned Salt

This seven-ingredient clone of Lawry's Seasoned Salt can be made in a small bowl, but is best used when poured into an old spice bottle that you've cleaned out and saved. You've saved one of those somewhere, right?

2 tablespoons salt
2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon cornstarch

1. Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and mix well.
2. Pour blend into an empty spice bottle with shaker top to store. Makes 1/4 cup.

24 packets of green tea at once would get me way too wired, dude!

Once I met Eric at the usual intersection, he told me that I was saying troubling things in general. I didn't think so, naturally! We got to talking about the Super Bowl: neither of us really cares about it, but we both know who's playing. I reminded him that there were escalators at Canada Place, because he didn't go in through the food court. (I took the stairs while Randal took the escalator - THEN he disappeared on me temporarily! AIYA!) He said he'd talk to Christon about picking me up tomorrow at 6 from the church for Lesley's thing, then spoke French to me for a bit. After that, we talked about a certain subject - I don't think I'm going to like Eric's emoticons every time he discusses this over MSN! (winks and hearts, indeed...) I said that I wasn't going over to watch 24 precisely because of the amount of teasing that goes on during commercial breaks! (he didn't use his days off solely on me, nor did he really use my fork!) So Eric said that if there weren't any new stories, there wouldn't be anything to say... I don't believe him because they can always come up with something! I also denied my sister's assessment about certain people, which of course led him to believe that she was right. I'm not saying anything to HIM even if he's like family because he'll tell my sister, who will then tell Mom! Doesn't he GET THAT?! AIYA.

When we got to church after waiting seven minutes to turn onto Nanaimo Street, I asked Eric to watch my stuff because I was going to Pho after a pit stop elsewhere. My dad expressed surprise that we were there early (before 6:20!), but Eric needed to restring his guitar and set up for Resonate - they didn't end up having any real practice at all, heh. I went to Pho (letting Eric T. / Stanley / some other dude into the church in the process) and saw Andrea, Karen Choo, and Jen there. They invited me to sit with them, so I did. We talked about Dylan and the situation this past week, Jen's new job, and how the others had to meet Harmony sometime. (whom Liz is NOT since she's Toronto Alan's girlfriend!) Then we talked about Karen's annoying loud / rude ringtone which she needs since she's lost 45% of her hearing in her right ear ("Hey you! Answer your phone!"), frustration at working with Dylan, and January birthday refreshments. It IS a way of letting people know they're appreciated and loved! For some reason, we talked about getting to be boyfriend-girlfriend / Steph and Karen's similarities / other such stuff too. After dinner which Karen paid for, we went back to the church. Steph was going to hug me, but I did the routine of coming at her like a growling bear. Jeremy (who was on drums) wanted to know what happened, so we did it again for a laugh.

Later, Steph gave me some green tea which she got for free from work. She reminded me that I could just boil water and dunk one packet into a mug, while Jeremy suggested that I could pour the whole 24 packets into a pot. Uh, I don't THINK he wants to see me so wired as that amount of caffeine would get me! He knows I'm kinda crazy in a good way, and let's keep it like that for now! I asked her whether she'd brought the 24 tape for Christon, but she forgot it which does tend to happen at 6:30 AM when she leaves to bus to work! On my way out, Steph asked whether the groundhogs had predicted spring or more winter - the Resonate slide said "Happy Groundhog Day!" too. We told her that they'd predicted spring, and Stanley told me that it would be funny if they only saw half a shadow, haha!

Went downstairs, followed by Steph and a couple of her crazy friends like Cindy. When they were kinda loud / hyper near the girls' bathroom, Raymond (a newcomer) looked around as if he were startled by the noise! So I had to tell him not to worry since it was just my sister and her friends, and they were ALWAYS like that... you can hear Steph from a long way away! Then I told Randal to revise whatever plans he may have had for watching those 24 tapes since my sister forgot about them today. He didn't seem too bothered by that, which is good! All he asked me was whether it was on one tape or two or maybe four (!!!), so I told him that they were probably on two tapes - then again, I don't know how my mom tapes things! Guess we'll see, haha. I need to devise a way of asking for the second two hours that doesn't sound weird!

Also apologized to Jen for going off on her like I did last week - she said it was okay after hearing my explanation! (she knew where Karen and Andrea were in the food court, but that didn't necessarily mean that Randal and I did!) The Fellowship signed birthday cards for Rich and Billy, then sang them HAPPY BIRTHDAY. (I didn't know any other Fellowship people whose birthday is in January when Karen asked me at Pho who I'd signed cards for!) During Bible Study, our group kinda made plans for what sort of food we'd be bringing next week: guacamole, tortilla chips, dip, chorizo sausage and melted cheese, and a fruit platter. Should be okay, if I can figure out how to get to Jeremy's or wherever our sub-group will be making the sausage and cheese! Jeremy came downstairs after he was done, and said that deer / farmer sausage had lots of spices in it to cover the gamy taste! No doubt it does!

When I returned from another pit stop, I had to squeeze between Randal and Jeremy into the circle that had formed around the food. (Jeremy: "Yeah, I guess you need to squeeze into the circle!") Jen asked Jeremy how his week had been, and he gave a one-word answer... so she asked if he cared to elaborate on "interesting." It involved not getting past his lack of experience doing one thing, and job offers from his previous employer. Apparently, the boss lost half his hair due to stress in the past six months! At least God prepared Jeremy for all this stuff, and he's taking next week off to go to Kelowna since he didn't spend much time with his parents this past Christmas! Frances asked if my hat was one of those that Auntie Fonda made: yup, and it DOES look like royal purple (as per Jeremy) or Crown Royal (as per Jen) ... very cool, since she's nice! Maisie was taking pictures of everyone, and asked me and Jeremy to pose for one: sure, why not? The "different woman" Teresa came downstairs and was doing the same with her disposable camera. Randal tried taking a picture for her, and later told me and Jeremy that he'd never taken a picture with that sort of camera before.

Randal and Jeremy then got into discussing days off, since Randal had had two this week. I'd ask him certain things, but won't since it's too intrusive, haha. He did such exciting things as grocery shopping and laundry, and talked about convenience / price at Chinese shops and Safeway. There was this one time he braved the crowds at Superstore for the Fellowship's sake, but that is a HUGE store with everything in it! Never again! Jeremy likes Garway Supermarket since their prices are half what Safeway charges for the same thing, and he likes certain other places since they know him by name / face! Jen and Jeremy exchanged phone numbers, then he asked me for mine. I thought he might have had it from the time I called him in November, but I was wrong. No matter, since it had an easy remedy!

Eric came downstairs and said it was time to go home since Steph has a 9 AM run in Stanley Park tomorrow: sure, but there goes her only day to sleep in! Jeremy left with us, and waved bye as he prepared to bike home. We discussed gas prices (even 0.1¢ adds up!), 24 and Committee meeting conflicts this week ("Don't they KNOW what happens on Mondays?!"), and traffic. Then Steph brought up a certain person, and how I should talk to someone or email him about what he's doing tomorrow... I don't think so! Eric asked about the curling on the 17th - I'm not going even if it's from 1-3 so Awana types can make it out to the Richmond Curling Club! Steph said that Jon was at some "Regent sleepover"... hmm. Once we got to my place, I asked Eric if he could pick me up tomorrow. Turns out he didn't talk to Christon about that, so he guessed he could. Sounds good to me!

YOU are distracting me, not the mention of his name!

Oh, how lovely. Eric just popped up on my screen and told me to answer my phone. Well, I would if it was from a number / name that I vaguely RECOGNIZED! I checked the Caller ID, and saw a call from an outfit named "EMPOWER TECHNLG"... I don't recognize that one. Then he rhetorically asked me which company he works for: yeah, I don't remember! Come to think of it, I received a call from there sometime in the past too... well, at least now I know for future reference! After that, he said that we had to sort out rides for tonight since it was a day to be early yet again. I was thinking about that last night, and figured it had a high chance of happening since I knew on Sunday at Nathan's that he had to help with Resonate and the kiddies.

Eric wants me to meet him at the usual intersection at 5:30 - he says he can't afford for me to be late, what with Resonate happening and all. Not like I'm going to be at Resonate, but I know he's doing music for that... I understand. Then he mentioned a certain person's name, and asked whether I was on the phone with that person: SHUT UP, NO! Instead of telling him that, I told him that he was distracting me (from blogging), and he said: "Wow... even mentioning his name is distracting!" Uh, no... it's distracting me from doing something else! However, he does say that he's going to Lesley's thing, so I don't necessarily have to ask around for rides tonight if he can pick me up at 6 tomorrow from the church: yay! Guess it'll be Pho dinner for me tonight... not for him, since he won't have time to eat till after it's all done! MUST LEAVE BY 5! (or 4:55, even!)

Dream: Hermaphrodites and fractions homework

This dream started out with me in a crowd of people. Andrew was asking me to go to his party, so I held him and promised I would. Maybe it was Adam, since those twins always trip me up.. and I wouldn't be holding them in THAT way either, as they're not even seventeen yet! (not that their being 17 or even 18 would make it okay... I'm just saying :P) Anyhow, back to the dream... I was still holding him for his own reassurance when we were all transported on a tour bus. We knew there were two hermaphrodite couples in our group, and at least one of them had a kid and was trying for another one. However, they had problems in their relationship which were quickly made clear to everyone on the bus.

Eventually, the bus dropped us off in the middle of a shopping centre for a while. We all milled around and tried to protect the hermaphrodites' child from hearing a lot of her parents' arguments since they all seemed to focus on their sex life or lack thereof. She was a smart one, though... she asked why Mommy and Daddy were fighting, and we weren't sure what to say! The bus came back, with massive bowls of ice cream set up in the centre aisle. Everyone ate some of that, and even the hermaphrodite couple quit arguing long enough to have some. A while later, one of them initiated sex with the other ON THE BUS! This was something we definitely needed to protect the kid from, so we invited her to stay with us on our end. She agreed since she didn't like "those noises." o_O

The bus driver didn't much like the situation either, and ordered them to stop since they were endangering the safety of themselves and others. They did in a few minutes, but almost everyone was scarred from viewing the proof that they were indeed hermaphrodites. By the time we reached my church, one of them announced that he / she / it was pregnant: we could see the beginnings of a belly on that one! (don't ask how THAT's supposed to work... my subconscious is weird!) My brother said that we had to wait at the church for a while because he had to discuss stuff in detail with Lesley. I told Andrew that I wouldn't be able to attend his party after all, then... very regrettable for both of us.

Later, my sister drove us home through winding roads which had a stone wall barrier to protect the expensive houses on the route. It was pretty dark, and she eventually decided to turn on her headlights. That didn't really help much, since all we could see were the outlines of the stone wall and houses. My mom made us do some hidden essays and math homework on fractions once we were home: the math books were the ones that we all got in my school when I was in Grade 6. The Grade 6 ones were yellow, the Grade 5 ones were orange, the Grade 4 ones were green, and the Grade 3 ones were blue. (I think they were called Journeys in Math by Ginn)

We had to evaluate a lot of problems before she'd let us go to sleep! My sister then woke me up at 5:06 AM and wanted me to get something for her, so I did. Then I went to our church to find water, but remembered that the building was closed at that time! Sister wondered where I'd been going, so I explained that I had a momentary lapse of forgetfulness. Then I went to a neighbor's house because they had a water fountain in their front yard. The water was pretty warm.. bleh! Went back home and told my sister about the gross water at Michelle Scott's house, and then I woke up. Very weird.

Not sure what triggered it... I was reading a line about hermaphrodites before I went to sleep, and Lesley sent us an email about Saturday's dinner which was mostly in French. Ah, no wonder. She wants us all to try communicating in a bit of French, and offers a French menu for us. That reminds me: I need to ask various people tonight if they're going or not... at least all I'll need is a ride there from the church and not Richmond! As for the way back, I have NO IDEA! Guess we'll see...

Almost La Victoria's Green Taco Sauce

Almost La Victoria's Green Taco Sauce

Recipe By: Bill Wight via chile-heads
Serving Size: 1 Preparation Time: 0:00
Categories: Mexican Sauces

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method

2 lbs. Anaheim or New Mex. chilies -- Roast -- peel, deseed
1 lb. Yellow Hungarian Wax chilies -- seeded and chopped
1 Serrano and jalapeno -- seeded and chopped
2 1/2 lbs. Tomatillos -- slice 1/8" thick
7 lbs. Green tomatoes -- slice 1/4" thick
1/2 bunch Cilantro -- rough chop
4 cloves Garlic
1 medium White onion -- chopped
1/4 cup Lime juice
1/4 cup Apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons Salt
4 tablespoons Corn Starch

Heat a large cast iron skillet to hot, and toast the tomatoes and tomatillos without any oil. Do just one layer at a time and give each slice a nice dark brown color on both sides without burning. Remove when toasted to a glass bowl. Do not deglaze the pan. In a blender, combine the onion, cilantro, chilies, tomatoes, garlic and tomatillos in batch sizes to half-fill the blender jar. Purée. If any dark brown liquid collects in the bottom of the toasted tomato and tomatillo bowl, add this to the last blender load.

Mix the cornstarch in the lime juice / vinegar. In a large stewing pot, combine the blender loads, add the cornstarch mixture and heat until the sauce comes to a low boil, mixing constantly. Be careful here... if you don't mix constantly, the thick sauce will tend to erupt in hot little geysers of taco sauce that could burn you. Allow sauce to cool, and add salt to taste. Transfer to clean jars, filling them 3/4 full and freeze what you can't use in a few weeks. Be careful not to fill the jars too full, or they'll break when you freeze them. I made a batch of sauce last year and it tastes just fine after a year in the freezer. The sauce keeps OK in my refrigerator for at least a month.

* Adjust heat level to your personal taste. The La Victoria sauce is mild.

NOTE: Here is a recipe that I think comes close to the taste and texture of La Victoria's Green Taco sauce.
Per serving: 258 Calories; 3g Fat (8% calories from fat); 11g Protein; 58g
Carbohydrate; 0mg Cholesterol; 4371mg Sodium
NOTE: Half the recipe is plenty!

Funerals and morbid bathrooms

I hope they know what they're asking of me... lots of work, as if I didn't already have enough on my plate!


Today's Half-Nude Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

The Ayatollah Khomeini died at the age of 89 from heart failure twelve days after intestinal surgery on June 3, 1989. On June 6, in front of a crowd of an estimated three million mourners, the Ayatollah was given funeral rites, but not before his anguished followers wreaked havoc over the twelve-mile processional route. Crowds surged in order to glimpse the religious leader's body. Several mourners died in the crush, and journalists reported that at least 11,000 people were injured during the funeral.

The Ayatollah's coffin was ultimately transferred to an army helicopter for transport. When the helicopter landed at the burial site, members of the Revolutionary Guards, on duty to maintain order, paraded the coffin high overhead. Mourners grabbed wildly at Khomeini's coffin, pulling it open and exposing the Ayatollah, rending his shroud and pulling their beloved patriarch to the ground. Broadcast live on television, the vision of Iran's most revered cleric toppling half-nude into a sea of frenetic mourners shocked the watching world. Soldiers quickly recovered the body to the safety of a helicopter and finally, nine hours behind schedule, the Ayatollah Rhollah Khomeini was buried, without a coffin in a shallow grave, in keeping with Muslim custom.

Culled from: What A Way To Go

**********************************************************************

The Comtesse Reviews...

What a Way To Go: Fabulous Funerals of the Famous and Infamous
by Adele Q. Brown

I just finished reading the book that the above fact was culled from. It's an analysis of some of the most lavish funerals in history. Although the book had some interesting biographical notes, I actually found it to be a pretty boring read. The problem is that I don't actually find funerals all that interesting. Autopsies, embalming, gravestones, cemeteries - yes. Funeral processions and eulogies, no. I mean, those things are interesting if you're taking part in them, but they make for dull reading material. I'd suggest skipping this one if you stumble across it.

Morbid-O-Meter: 2/5 skulls

*******

February T-Shirt Deal!

Jen from Juror2.Net has an exciting announcement!

"For the month of February, Juror2.net is having a buy 2 get 1 free deal on T-shirts. This INCLUDES all the Morbid Fact Du Jour T-shirts designed by the Comtesse herself!

"To get the discount, buy any 3 shirts. Then type 'MFDJ-FEB' in the Notes section during PayPal checkout to get the third shirt free (either a refund via PayPal or a check mailed with your shirts, your choice)."

By the way, look for a new morbid shirt in the next week or two...

*******

Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

DAYtheELF has a morbid trinket for us:

"This is a must-have accessory for any morbid bathroom! When I ordered it, I was expecting it to be kinda cheesy. But when it came in the mail, I was very pleasantly surprised. The skull is in very nice, realistic detail and a bit larger than an average person's head. I was sorely tempted to put it on my bookcase, not next to my toilet! It makes my bathroom so much more fun!"

*******

Morbid Sightseeing!

The Whitakers send a morbid sightseeing recommendation:

"Have you ever done 'The Thing'?"

"I grew up near here and would highly recommend that any of your readers that are traveling in the southern Arizona area stop in. Located 50 miles east of Tucson on I-10. Even without its main attraction, a very well preserved mummified Indian woman with her infant, its worth the entry price. The priceless matchlock rifle is worth admission alone."

I'm worth $786

I got ANOTHER weird phone call this morning, this time from Michigan! Whose phone number is 231-224-2057, anyhow? Weird stuff... and I couldn't answer it since I was SLEEPING!


Money worth survey, from Amy via Myspace bulletin.

Some of these "prices" are understandable, since it's obvious why someone who has never smoked / drank is worth more than someone who has. But price based on car / room color? Who knows... oh well. :P

Hair Color:
[] Natural Blonde $5
[] Highlighted Blonde $40
[] Brunette $45
[x] Dark (brown, black) $50
[] Redhead $30
[] Brown $40
[] Other $15
Total So Far: $50

Eye Color:
[] Blue $25
[] Green $15
[x] Brown $20
[] Gray $15
[] Hazel $30
[] Other $10
Total So Far: $70

Height:
[x] Under 5' $20
[] 5'1" - 6' $30
[] Over 6' $35
[] No idea $25
Total So Far: $90

Education:
[] Elementary School $15
[] Middle School $25
[] Quit high school $-10
[] Still in high school $25
[] GED $10
[x] High School Grad $50
[x] In College $75 (had some college, not in it right now)
[] 2-year degree $85
[] 4-year degree $100
[] Higher degree $125
Total So Far: $215

Birth Order:
[] Only child $15
[x] Firstborn $40
[] Last-born $20
[] Middle child $30
[] Other $20
Total So Far: $255

Smoke Cigarettes?
[] Yes $1
[x] No $50
[] Occasionally $10
[] Quit $5
Total So Far: $305

Drink?
[] Never $40
[] Occasionally $30
[] 1-3 a year $20
[x] 1-5 drinks per month $15
[] 6-10 drinks per month $15
[] 11+ drinks per month $5
[] Quit $25
Total So Far: $320

Vision?
[] No correction $30
[x] Glasses $10
[] Contacts $15
[] Surgical correction $20
Total So Far: $330

Car Color:
[] Gold $50
[] Red $30
[] Blue $45
[] Green $25
[] Silver $45
[] White $15
[] Black $40
[] Other $20
[x] No Car $15
Total So Far: $345

Shoe Size:
[] below 13 $15
[] 13/1 $20
[] 2/3/4 $5
[] 5/6 $15
[x] 7/8 $30
[] 8/9 $35
[] 9+ $40
Total So Far: $375

Current Undies:
[x] Bikini $15
[] Thong $15
[] Brief $5
[] Boxers $20
[] Girl boxers $30
[] Boy Cut $35
[] Man Thong $50
[] None $75
Total So Far: $390

Room Color:
[] White $0
[x] Cream $3
[] Black $5
[] Purple $45
[] Red $15
[] Blue $50
[] Orange $10
[] Pink $10
[] Yellow $15
[] Green $25
[] Brown $75
[] Other $10
Total So Far: $393

* multiply it by 2, then repost this as: I'm worth $___

TV tapes / Foreign smells / Kraft Thousand Island Dressing

Hehe... a certain person emailed me back about 24 and tapes. I think I'm happier than I should be about this. :P At least he doesn't have to wait for Christon to watch the first four hours since it's just the first two that Christon missed, and now he understands why Jack Bauer tortured his brother in the first place! (previous episode) According to Steph and Eric, his brother was quite the unsavory character in Season 5... he DID want to kill Jack beforehand, too! o_O

Corey's also giving me various suggestions about that certain person, none of which I will take! He thinks that Japan smells like vegetables based on the few bits of Japan that he's experienced. "Smells like vegetables or something is my mild way of describing Japan today. Back in high school when I took Japanese at the college I recently graduated from, a couple people from Japan came for a few weeks to help out in class, which was very helpful. They had this funny vegetable smell to them. Today, I got a Japanese Sega Saturn controller in the mail.. shipped from Japan... same vegetable smell! :P"

Reminds me of the Hong Kong package smell that I'd experience whenever my grandma sent us stuff from there years ago. According to Corey, stuff from Taiwan doesn't smell like that. His Taiwanese friend Jane didn't have any odd smell when she got to his place, even though he calls her Jane Smelly... he would! Apparently, I should listen to Daycare by the Redneck Pranksters to see why he calls her that... will do. HAHAHA, some guy (who's looking at care for his 93-year-old wife) deliberately mishears "Jane Shelley" as "Jane Smelly"! I understand it now...


Kraft Thousand Island Dressing

Here's a quick clone for one of the best-selling Thousand Island dressings around. Use this one on salads or on burgers (such as the In-N-Out Double-Double clone) as a homemade "special sauce." It's easy, it's tasty, it's cheap, and it can be made low-fat simply by using low-fat mayo. Dig it.

1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons ketchup
1 tablespoon white vinegar
2 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons sweet pickle relish
1 teaspoon finely minced white onion
1/8 teaspoon salt
dash of black pepper

1. Combine all of the ingredients in a small bowl. Stir well.
2. Place dressing in a covered container and refrigerate for several hours, stirring occasionally, so that the sugar dissolves and the flavors blend. Makes about 3/4 cup.

Freak dinner plate accidents and Monty Python

Today's Freaky Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A Victorian man bled to death after accidentally cutting his throat on a broken dinner plate. The freak accident happened as the man, from Point Lonsdale, south-west of Melbourne, Australia, was taking the leftovers from his dinner outside to give to his dog. The 57-year-old tripped as he went out the back door of his home. "He was carrying a plate, like a china plate, he's tripped and had a tumble and the plate's smashed and he's been fatally injured," a police spokesman said. The man landed on a sharp piece of the plate, which cut him across the neck. "His wife was present and tried to help him," the spokesman said. Paramedics were called to the house, but the man had already lost a large amount of blood and was unconscious when they arrived. "It's horrible. What are the chances the plate is going to break and you are going to fall on it that way?" Rural Ambulance spokesperson Jessica Li said. "I know it was family members that called triple-zero and I'm sure they were trying to do what they could, but once we arrived, there was nothing we could do," she said. The man died at the scene. "It's certainly one of those freak accidents, I've never seen one like that around this area," the police spokesman said. "I hope I don't see another one like it. It's just terrible."

Culled from: TheAge.Com
Generously submitted by: Bruce T.

**********************************************************************

Is it normal for Australians to change tense in the middle of a sentence? Let's see ... "He was carrying a plate... he's tripped and had a tumble and the plate's smashed and he's been fatally injured." Very confusing! But then again, these are the descendants of criminals, so I suppose I should cut them a break...

(Of course, I only say this because I have tons of family in Australia, and I've suffered plenty of harassment over the years for the way I pronounce words like "orange" and say things like "going to the restroom.")

*******

Morbid Song Du Jour!

Barbara T. submits a lyric for our consideration:

All Things Dull and Ugly

Monty Python

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid --
Who made the spiky urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

*******

Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Now, here's the perfect brooch to wear to your next church social! A fetus pin!

If that doesn't cut it, perhaps you'd prefer an enema bag, penis, colon, uterus or sperm and fallopian tube?

Thanks to Keith for the link.

Dream: Black people and invisible poles at mansions / Quizzes

I had a weird dream last night that at first involved Jon, Jeremy, and me taking the bus to an unknown destination. We got off the bus and went to this mansion as if drawn there by some unstoppable force. Met a whole bunch of people there, and had fun at the party that was going on. The parents were supposed to be out, but a little black girl spotted them in their bedroom sleeping on the bed. She went to tell us, so we had to bring the noise level down. We all thought the parents would be mad, but we all pulled together when the police were going to pull up to the house. There was an invisible pole somewhere in the living room, so we all slid down to the secret underground basement maze. (Jeremy had to help me, because Jon was doing other things at this time) Then the dream ended when I had to wake up... weird stuff, and I don't know what triggered it!


Here are a couple of quizzes:

Forrest Jump! You scored 36 Bounciness, 53 Bubbliness, and 21 Animaginated!

Life's a box of chocolates. And wow, you sure are jumping out of the box! You're a bouncy and bubbly character, and full of potential surprises. Have fun on OK Cupid. ;-)

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 5% on Bounciness You scored higher than 2% on Bubbliness You scored higher than 7% on Animaginated

Link: The Attitude to Life... Test written by pyramid3 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Romeo - Daydreamer

Your head is in the clouds. Wake up and smell the coffee, stop being such a drama queen, and get on with it.
Which Shakespeare character are you?

Ontario phone calls, amusing MSN name tricks, Kraft Shake'n Bake (Original)

Whose phone number is 416-224-1061? Yes, I know it's from Ontario... but I don't know anybody there. At least, not with that number! Weird stuff, but at least I've avoided it!

Ah, MSN amusement is so hilarious! I just couldn't resist any longer, so I had to do the "respond to MSN name" trick. Definitely something to make me laugh! "CALL ME. I love you a lot." is about phone calls, no matter what Jasmine may say! Hahahaha, I love this kind of giggle-fest! :D (but Enrico would say I was on crack... whatever, dude! :P)

Mom says that Auntie Kwai is going to Toronto soon, so said I should call her. It was 10:30 then, but whatever you say... Kwai told me that she was just going to book the flight in two weeks, so I told her to call my mom when she did since we had books and dolls for the kiddies! ("OH! SO NICE! OF COURSE!") Heh, we haven't seen her lately since she goes to the Mandarin service at 2 on Sundays. At least I don't have to wait till October, although I dunno what Brigitte likes. Oh well.

Vanessa emailed me Sean's new address: good thing I didn't go with the one I had for last year since he's moved! After that, I wrote up his birthday card and Sheena's... along with a couple of late Christmas / birthday cards for Katya, Billie, and others. All my sibs have to do on Friday / Sunday is sign Sean and Sheena's cards, then I will hopefully have Evan's stuff and everyone else's in the mail by this time next week!


Kraft Shake'n Bake (Original)

Need a recipe that copies Shake'n Bake in a pinch? Or maybe you don't feel like going to the store for the real thing. Here's the TSR solution for a quick clone that will give you the same texture and flavor of Kraft Shake'n Bake using very common ingredients. You may notice the color is a bit different in this clone when compared to the real thing. That's because this recipe doesn't include beet powder, which is a hard-to-find ingredient that lends a dark orange tint to the original. But after you sink your teeth into the chicken (baked the same way as described on the Shake'n Bake box), you'll swear it's the same stuff. When you're ready to get shaking and baking, use this breading on 2 1/2 pounds of chicken pieces or on 2 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts.

1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon corn flake crumbs
2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon sugar
scant 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
scant 1/4 teaspoon onion powder

1. Combine all ingredients in a small bowl, and stir to combine.
2. Prepare chicken following the same technique as described on the box of the original mix using 2 1/2 lbs. of bone-in chicken (6 to 8 pieces, with or without skin) or 2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breast halves. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees, then moisten the chicken with water. Use a large plastic bag for the coating and use the same steps as described on the original package: "Shake moistened chicken, 1 to 2 pieces at a time, in shaker bag with coating mixture. Discard any remaining mixture and bag. Bake at 400 degrees in ungreased or foil-lined 15 x 10 x 1-inch baking pan until cooked through."

BONE-IN: 45 minutes / BONELESS: 20 minutes. Serves 4.

Banning people, death timing, crazy morbid buildings

I banned Victoria today. That's what she gets for insulting me at least twice over in MY OWN COMMUNITY / JOURNAL! Some people never learn... there was no reason for her to respond to my spellcheck comment, haha. (as Nick's said in the past!)


Today's Sad Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Artist Jean Cocteau died of a stroke at age seventy-four in Paris, just seven hours after Edith Piaf expired. Upon hearing the news of his friend's death, he remarked: "I had a fever since this morning, and I must say that the death of Edith Piaf has caused renewed sadness and discomfort." A few hours later, Cocteau said: "The boat is going down." These were his last words.

Culled from: What a Way To Go

**********************************************************************

What fabulous last words! I don't know how they get the timing so perfect. With my luck, I'll have some deeply profound last statement all ready and I'll say it when I *think* I might be going to die, but I'll be wrong, and then I'll have a few hours to kill and I won't want to say anything for fear that whatever stupid thing I say will be my last words, and will negate the profound and enigmatic statement I just made. And you can't repeat your last words twice, so I couldn't just say it again when I'm *really* going to die.

See, this is the Comtesse's version of "death anxiety" - it's not the fear of dying, it's the fear of dying without style!!

*******

Morbid Valentine Contest!

I've had a couple of questions about the contest, so apparently I didn't explain myself very well. The idea is to make an image to front a morbid Valentine's card. (I'd show you an example that I made a couple of years ago, but my webserver is giving me grief right now.) Whoever creates the best morbid Valentine card (as subjectively chosen by The Comtesse) will win a copy of Van Cosel, the story of one of the great romantics of our times: Count Von Cosel, who loved Elena Hoyos so much that he dug her corpse up and took it home with him.

Van Cosel

Send your creations to valentine@asylumeclectica.com. Contest closes on February 12th with the results announced in the Valentine's Day edition of MFDJ. May the most morbid Valentine win!

*******

Ghastly!

Wendi sent me some ghastly photos which purport to show the end result of a 174 mph crash on a crotch rocket ("courtesy the Oklahoma Highway Patrol"). Proof that there is a speed at which even the use of a helmet is completely futile.

Bike Crash 1
Bike Crash 2
Bike Crash 3
Bike Crash 4

*******

Morbid Sightseeing!

Katie has a great recommendation for your next visit to Arkansas:

"I'm amazed no one's mentioned this place yet. I live in Arkansas and have visited the Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs -- it's supposed to be one of the most haunted buildings in the States. They have regular ghost-hunting tours and suchlike. There's also a lovely morgue in the basement from its days as a hospital that killed its patients -- rip away the plaster in the walls and you can see bones. Unfortunately, I was only in the hotel for a few minutes, so I didn't get the chance to see much. It's also, sadly, very difficult to get into the basement to see the morgue and asylum (some of the hospital's patients also went insane; the quack doctor's cures affected their brains, so he basically tied them down until they flailed themselves to death). Hospital with a crazy doctor, haunted hotel, insane asylum, and morgue, all in one building? Morbidophile's dream!"

Indeed!! It sounds wonderful!

Spongebob Beanie Babies RULE! / No liquid sleep aids!

I found the perfect birthday present for my distant cousin Ethan just now at Save-On: a half-price Spongebob Beanie Baby! He loves Spongebob, so I'm hoping he likes it! The only thing is that I'll have to get my mom to send it to his mom Anna sometime... and do I even HAVE the kid's birthday in my BootyBase? I think his sister Brigitte's birthday is in October, and maybe that's the case with him too... let's see. Brigitte's is 6 October 1998, and Ethan's is 30 October 2003... okay, so I'm a little late. :P Gives me some time to find something for Brigitte too, at the very least! Got some Mediterranean chips with batata, parsnip, yuca, and other interesting flavors too. (plus spicy Thai kettle chips and way too much other junk food even though my mom gave me a bag of caramel rice cakes and other junk food yesterday!) Speaking of birthday stuff, I got birthday cards for Sean / Pat / Sheena... if Vanessa doesn't reply to my email (I know she's busy!), I can use Sean's as a spare! (and I got a cute Chinese New Year card for Grandma, hehe)

Replaced my #19 Bathroom Reader... then got some Tylenol cold pills (no more liquid Nyquil for me!) aspirin, and some microwaveable meals which were on sale. No liquid soap / laundry detergent since I don't need that! My brother had mentioned on Sunday that my favorite Boston Pizza was closed down, and I got to see the truth of that statement just now. Apparently, it's closed for renovations according to Barry... guess we'll see about THAT later, too. I remembered the rental thing, and he didn't - seems a bit odd, but whatever. Also got some new Mentos gum (Arctic Frost / Spearmint / Cinnamint), and some St. Ives (Swiss formula!) Exfoliating Apricot body wash since they had a coupon to save 75¢ on one. Was hoping for the Brownie Pie ice cream I saw at Safeway on Sunday, but no luck... yes, I know the two stores' selection is way different! :P (had to settle for some Half-Baked to satisfy my brownie cravings)

All right, I need a bath or shower now after that pricey expedition with bottled green tea which was on sale / bottled water / bananas / fruit / salad / chip dip / baby carrots / six Starbucks frappuccinos. Hopefully, I can get some RQ tagging work done and be finished with 2004 today! I've been going out a lot lately, so that's been a factor in why I'm not finished at least March 2005 yet, haha. I also have a LOT of journal comments to catch up on, so that'll be my afternoon / evening for sure. Ah, here's an email from Lesley about dinner at the Latitude on Saturday. It sounds like an expensive restaurant, but it's really the apartment building where she lives! The guys and I were discussing that on Friday, and Jon seemed surprised that I hadn't responded yet! Hey, sometimes I don't RSVP to things immediately... so I guess we'll see if I get a ride, haha!

Your brother is VERY BAD! / STOP BUGGING ME!

Let's just say that tonight's episode of 24 showed two sleazy slimeballs at their absolute worst! Jack Bauer's brother is VERY bad indeed (killing everyone and such), and someone else in administration is perhaps even worse... the administration person's nemesis is pretty smart, though! We could tell that someone else entirely was going to be TOAST... just make up a LIE about that item! As for talk that doesn't relate to TV, my grandma thought I should have called first if I was going to eat: plenty of leftovers and such, so it didn't matter to me or my sister. Differing cultural backgrounds and all of that, y'know. Then I heard that my cousin is having her husband fly back to Hong Kong and pick up their kid (who is all of three years old) so she can be at her grandfather's funeral here in Vancouver. Sure, my cousin will be there since her father-in-law was very sick and all, but little Andrea won't remember anything... SAVE YOUR MONEY EVEN IF YOUR DAD IS RICH! Mom also thinks that Jon should get Harmony a Valentine's Day card before he leaves, but apparently she's not a big fan of that stuff... she seems like a very practical sort!

My sister definitely doesn't like a certain person's approach to what was a throwaway joke / compliment line about refreshments in an email. Don't hit "Reply All" if you have a private beef with someone, and don't go on for a page and a half about how you're more spiritual and such! I like this person, but sometimes he CAN be tough to handle. Let's just say it's a good thing I don't work closely with him on church matters! If he wants to talk down to my sister, she's couching her own rebuke in Christian terms and applicable Bible verses! Karen C. says she'll investigate, haha... they're going out for dinner again tomorrow, and apparently she thinks it's hard to get a compliment out of me. "I know she likes me, but it's SO HARD!" Hahaha, this is how I shall confuse the masses! *demonic laughter*

Then my mom decided to ask Eric about my interactions with a certain friend of mine... like THOSE haven't been innocent! Sure, she just wants me to be happy... but it doesn't matter who sat by whom first at service, or who decided to give me a ride to MissionsFest! Of course, I gave her vague answers: it's cool having him as a friend, but don't try introducing yourself next Sunday! (note to self: SIT WITH THE BABIES!) No Valentine's dinner for us, and I can't wait till all the advertising is OVER! (rings, Dairy Queen cakes, etc.) There's NO WAY that I believe her sudden about-face of "I don't like that person anymore!" I know that's trying to use reverse psychology, which won't work on ME! :P

I found out that my mom IS taping all the episodes of 24, so maybe Randal CAN view them later on if he wishes... score! Maybe I'll email him about that later, like tomorrow sometime. I know Christon has dibs on the first two hours, though. Eric decided to give her a bunch of information, so I jokingly threatened him with THE FIST OF DOOM! Even if he IS a guest, he should know how I feel... especially since I predicted it last night at Nathan's! Certain things don't mean a whole lot, besides! :P

We also talked about Jeremy, Phil Chang, Anthony, Chinese grapefruit, watermelon, SLB, Jessica, Eunice's hair school, and other such things. My mom tried getting me to stay overnight unprepared again: thank goodness I have other plans tomorrow, like a needed grocery shopping expedition! Speaking of which, I should get some sleep since I set my alarm for a reasonable time. My sister noted my insane sleep patterns: I know, but there's nothing really I can do about it since going to bed earlier doesn't really result in more sleep! UGH!

EW! Ants nibbled at her eye! / Serial killer music / Kraft Deluxe Original Macaroni & Cheese Dinner

Note: The Giving Mme blogquiz, by Sophie.


Today's Nibbly Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A woman receiving treatment for diabetes at a state-run hospital in eastern India lost one of her eyes after ants nibbled away at it. The patient recovering from a post-surgery infection shrieked for help as the ants attacked her on Sunday night, but nurses told her it was normal to feel pain from the infection. On Monday, the patient's family saw a gaping hole with swarming ants in it when they lifted the bandage on her left eye. Authorities of the Sambhunath Hospital in Kolkata said they were probing the incident. "It's not uncommon for ants to attack diabetic patients. We have set up a committee to investigate the unfortunate incident," hospital superintendent A. Adhikary said. Scampering rats and stray cats and dogs sharing bed space with patients are not uncommon sights at India's overcrowded state-run hospitals that are used by millions of poor and middle-class people.

Culled from: Reuters
Generously submitted by: Paradox

**********************************************************************

Morbid Valentine Contest!

I've decided to try to hold a contest every month this year: let's see how long I keep this up. For the month of January, we had the Morbid Caption Contest. Now for the month of February, I thought it would be fun to have a "Morbid Valentine" Contest. Whoever creates the best morbid Valentine image (as subjectively chosen by The Comtesse) will win a copy of Van Cosel, the story of one of the great romantics of our times: Count Von Cosel, who loved Elena Hoyos so much that he dug her corpse up and took it home with him.

Van Cosel
By Tom Swicegood

Send your creations to valentine@asylumeclectica.com. Contest closes on February 12th with the results announced in the Valentine's Day edition of MFDJ. May the most morbid Valentine win!

*******

Morbid Mirth!

Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


A: Pulling them off.

You can blame David for that one.

*******

Death Metal Du Jour!

Val writes to tell me about a Chicago band of morbid note:

"I am not sure if you have heard of them, but there is a band called Macabre that sings all about serial killers. It is the absolute greatest. Check them out.

Russian postcards and Translink

Hey, I got mail today! Katya (katzk) sent me a Russian Christmas card, and a postcard of the Savior-on-the-Blood cathedral in St. Petersburg... how cool. This reminds me that I need to send some really belated things out to her and others, so I'll do that when Vanessa gives me her brother's address. I need to get birthday cards for him, Sheena, and Pat soon anyhow: perhaps tomorrow!

According to Translink, the next bus out of here goes at 6:51. I better catch that one if I want to make 24 at 9. Or maybe it's 8 at the townhouse, but Randal DID tell me that it was at 9... he can't be wrong! I won't permit it, haha! Guess we'll see...

We can just go from serious discussion to humor in a moment!

Note: Transplanting your Friends List into a Comic Book blogquiz, by Mike.


Earlier today, Anita said that her cop husband Jeff had his photo in several papers because he was around a Richmond crime scene: Steph loved that, haha! Then Steph told me about a disturbing dream she'd had that was set at church. I'd be worried if I dreamed what she did, haha!

After that last post, we finally started on dinner. Isabel was pretty full from going to White Spot with her family, so just stayed in her room doing stuff while we checked on the hockey game (then 2-1 for us) and watched PARADISE NOW. Nathan said that he had to remove his pink workout covering first, so our reaction was: "EWW! You SWEAT on that thing and you didn't tell us BEFORE we put our plates on there?! NATHAN!!" The suicide bombers' faith is misguided, but amazing! Role reversal, ideologies, the contrast between Israel and Palestine, and the insight all gave us food for discussion afterwards. There are Muslims out there with the same prayers and struggles as Christians, and we could learn something from their faith... are we willing to die for our faith these days in insular North America? Probably not... then we talked about Anglicans and their environmental consciousness / gay marriage. We're willing to let gay couples worship with us, but we're bound by our leadership / culture / conservativeness / a number of other factors... Christon said that when it came to membership, that's where he draws the line! Nathan says that he'd refer them to other churches who might give them what they're looking for as seekers, while Danielle brought up the excellent point that one sin is not necessarily greater than another: "I eat way too much! Would you refer me to another place where my gluttony could be addressed?!" Interesting discussions, for sure...

There was a sad passage in a Tony Campolo book (MISSING THE POINT?) which Jon was reading: he disturbs people and makes them think, which is good! At that time, the guys were talking about sports, so Danielle had to promise to read just one bit of the chapter. It was about a guy in high school that the author and all his friends knew was gay, so naturally they all made fun of him. One day, five guys cornered him in the shower room and urinated on him. That night, the boy hung himself in his basement... the news made Campolo think that he wasn't really a good Christian even though he agreed with the Apostle's Creed and suchlike. That blurb made Jeremy think of some Stateside group which reminded me of Fred Phelps: holding up signs at funerals and protesting. Then there was some good sports action on TV, so someone commented on it instead and steered the discussion in a humorous direction.

Danielle was surprised, but Nathan said that he emoted during the movie and discussion... not afterwards because then he wouldn't be able to walk home all full of emotions! Okay, then... someone joked that Christon, Jon, and Nathan could all marry each other and change at least half the theology of our church since they're worship leaders and (in my brother's case) on the congregation committee! Somehow, I don't think that would fly with our very conservative parents' generation! There are greater evils in the world than gay marriage that we could tackle, but that's the first one that comes to mind for us! (then someone referenced Sunday School: "Jesus is like... Hitler! Oh wait, we can't say that... how about Jesus is like, totally awesome?!")

We finished the movie in time to watch the last few minutes of the hockey game. The Canucks got a very welcome insurance goal at 19:50 to make it 3-1. Danielle thought this was boring, although she admitted that she might have more interest if a team she actually could care about was playing, like the Edmonton Oilers. Taylor Pyatt got a goal and an assist, and was the third star behind Luongo and Joe Thornton. Citrus reminisced about a goal he scored once from behind the net when he decided to see if it would work. The other team was on a line change, so nobody was really around to defend the goalie: he shot around the net, and the puck deflected off the goalie's skate and went in the net! It didn't register with anyone at first even though he was celebrating with his arms up in the air, haha.

Watched sports bloopers and some extreme moments, as well. Nathan said that his "holding hands" directive during a worship song this morning was kinda spontaneous, but he'd thought about it before saying that. I'm sure my sister and Eric thought certain things about that, given whom I was sitting by. Somehow, I don't think their fantasies will be a reality! I just viewed that as following instructions, and it DID fit the song! (human contact is good too, haha) The last I talked to him, he told me that he'd watch 24 at 9 tomorrow night: good, good. Later, we cleaned up and said hi to Isabel when she went upstairs. Eric and Jon decided to chest-slap each other right near Auntie Lillian's collection of china in two cabinets: I told them to be careful and move the action out to the living room at least! They double-slapped each other, then went downstairs where Isabel and I watched the action for a bit.

Jon was talking to Harmony, then claimed that Eric had an unfair advantage since he could use two hands and not just one. So Eric grabbed a cell phone off the table and mimicked his actions, haha. When Isabel and I got tired of watching them from the couch / Nathan's new inflatable golf chair, we went to her room instead. Jon described this to Harmony as "Isabel and my sister have both lost interest!" Nah, we just didn't want to be accidentally hit! A bit later, I noticed Eric looking at Homestar Runner on Nathan's computer. He was also looking at Ben and Jerry's environmental policies since we had a discussion about that in Safeway, but couldn't really find anything on the containers about that. There was something on the Homestar Runner site about a "Teen Girl Squad sale"... right, then. We looked at the HR Wiki and the latest Strong Bad email (being young and hip) before we decided to see where Jon was: certain people have to work tomorrow, and it was past 10:30 by then!

After Eric showed the Strong Bad email to Nathan and Isabel, it was pretty much time to go. Jeremy, Christon, Citrus, and Danielle left before we did: Danielle has never seen the inside of my place since I moved in before I even met her, so she said to email her possible dates to do that since she'd be lost without her agenda! Jeremy's in the same situation (as are a LOT of other friends of mine), but I don't know if he'd feel comfortable with that even if we are more liberal than certain people we know! Guess we'll see when it's time to hold another par-tay! (as Eunice used to call 'em)

It was extremely foggy outside; when we discovered that the Arthur Laing was closed, we went to the Oak Street Bridge: that only had one lane open each way! Perhaps they were repairing potholes or something, even if it seemed that all the workers were just standing around their machinery. Eric's parents called while we were stuck behind a bus and other traffic: it took us at least five or seven minutes to move a few blocks or so! We discussed hitting deer, small-world connections involving Francis Mpindu / Tim Ho / others, Jon ignoring us in favor of talking to Harmony, tomorrow night's plans, and Resonate songs before I got dropped off. Crazy times, but good for fellowship! :D

Alien attacked What's your name? Where do you live? What is your weapon of choice? Do you believe in aliens? YesNo How much do your fear them? OMG!!! Aliens!Psh! They don't exist.A little.They don't bother me.It's KILLIN' TIME! You see an alien... what do you do? Eat a bananaSacrifice your friendEat himGo Hulk on himShotgun time! Do you survive? True # of Aliens killed 944 Chance of Survival 45% This Fun Quiz created by vince at BlogQuiz.Net

Cancer Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

Cremation and the Old Bailey courthouse / Koo Koo Roo Santa Fe Pasta

Today's Symbolic Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

The Jews buried their dead, reserving cremation for criminals. The Christians followed the Jews in their abhorrence of cremation, regarding it as a pagan custom. A central tenet of Christianity was the resurrection of the body, and this belief could not be reconciled with cremation - though it must be emphasized that, for Christians, burial was a *symbolic* affirmation of resurrection and did not accord with the Egyptian belief that life in the other world depended on the *physical* preservation of the corpse. Ignorant of the symbolism, enemies of Christianity contrived to prevent the burial of Christian corpses and to burn them, so as to prevent resurrection. Christians themselves were not above using cremation as a bar to everlasting life: many years after his death in 1384, John Wycliffe, then regarded as a heretic, was exhumed and cremated and his ashes were thrown into the River Swift.

Culled from: Death: A History Of Man's Obsessions and Fears

**********************************************************************

Then there are people like me, who abhor cremation because it's so damned BORING! No corpses to exhume, no cool gravestones, no DNA studies or viruses to replicate in the future. Blah, blah, blah!

*******

Morbid Site Du Jour!

Khyshey sends a fascinating link:

The Proceedings Of The Old Bailey

"This site gives you the opportunity to look through the trials held at The Old Bailey courthouse of London and, to make it even more fun, gives you a 'On this day in ....'

"You can read about the history of the old courthouse, find out all about different crimes and punishments given, and how they were altered over time. Take branding for instance: this used to be done on the offenders' cheek for a short time. However, this made the newly branded unemployable. Branding was changed back to the thumb. And if you are really lucky, you might even be able to use the search engine to find a relative! Unfortunately, I am yet to find a link... Such a shame."

*******

Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

Lady Morgana sends an interesting tidbit:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and duct tape over his mouth while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.


Koo Koo Roo Santa Fe Pasta

With Southwestern-style dressing, corn, peppers, and fresh cilantro... this is an addicting clone from a quickly growing fast food concept. Koo Koo Roo's "California Style" flame broiled and rotisserie chicken meals come with a wide selection of very tasty side dishes, including Tangy Tomato Salad, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and Confetti Rice. This cold Santa Fe Pasta salad is one of the favorites on the long list of 24 sides. And here's the TSR clone recipe to help you make a version of your own that tastes as good as the real thing.

1 16-ounce package Rotini pasta
4-5 quarts water

Dressing
1 1/4 cups V-8 juice
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
3/4 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup cooked yellow corn kernels
1/3 cup chopped cilantro
1/4 cup chopped green onion
2 tablespoons diced red bell pepper
2 tablespoons diced green bell pepper
1 chicken breast fillet, cooked and diced

1. Prepare the pasta by bringing 4-5 quarts of water to a rolling boil in a large saucepan. Add pasta to the pan, and when water begins to boil again, cook for 8-11 minutes. Pasta should be al dente, or mostly tender but with a slight toughness in the middle.
2. Whisk all of the dressing ingredients together in a small bowl. Cover and chill the dressing until you're ready to use it.
3. When pasta is done, pour it into a large bowl. Add the dressing, then toss.
4. Add the remaining ingredients to the pasta, and toss until combined. Cover and chill for several hours before serving. Serves 8.

"The orange peppers aren't really a BC product!"

Went to church this morning, and wished my mom would quit discussing a certain subject. UGH. My grandma gave me a bunch of Centrum vitamins - all well and good, but they're for PEOPLE OVER 50! My mom says it's because of the iron, but who knows. Got to church and put my bag near Randal while I went to say hi to Hannah and Priscilla - they're cute and like bugging each other: ah, sisters! Waved hi to Jeremy when he sat beside me, and gave Randal that VANCOUVER book. He thanked me for it, and spent some time flipping through it. After service, I talked to Pat / Vanessa / Christon / Jeremy / Eric / Sheena about lunch plans: Pho it was! (Dylan didn't like that idea much, haha) Met Sheena and Chalaine's sister Carina, who's not like us since she has different friends and such.. Grade 10 girls can be rebellious! Chung Yan was giving out wedding invitations - YAY! Steph went to the comedy club on Friday after MissionsFest, and had fun.. she was telling Joey and Angus that she actually won something too! Said hi to baby Hannah, and talked about a certain person with Danielle.

Sunday School was all right - Sean needed distraction in the form of those rainbow stickers and insect book, but it's all good. Said hi to Amos later on, then looked for everyone later on since they let out early on account of the AGM. Both the good Pho places were full - I told Jon that he didn't want to try shady Pho on a meeting day! Our family went to Trocadero (Greek place) when we found our car was blocked, and Jeremy joined us later. We discussed Dallas and his moving to Richmond soon, Jeremy's roommate Darryl getting married, language barriers and generation gaps, German, Chinese, a call from a realtor about one-bedroom apartments, a chapter in Jon's latest book being called "The Christian Who Drinks Beer," money, and other such topics. Poor Dallas gets awakened every day at 4 AM! The family that he's living with has a grandma with them, and she likes listening to the radio on Eastern time.. no wonder he's moving nearer to us, haha! Reminds me of the time I lived in a house with a bunch of people, and someone in the room next to me BLASTED her radio at that time one night / morning. Thank goodness it wasn't a recurring thing, and that she was outta there pretty quickly after that!

We also experienced some frustration with Grandma when she was offering us some lamb - she put the fork right on the water pitcher, and then claimed that it was okay since it wasn't touching the water! No, it's NOT! Then it came time to pay the bill Jeremy contributed $15 when the bill with tax and tip was about $100. Grandma thought his part should only be $10, but he'd had souvlaki and coffee which was about $15. Finally, we decided to be sneaky about it and put the $5 down when she wasn't looking. It was an extra tip and such, too! The restaurant played some Tina Turner, so Steph was all over that and her vocal range! They played some James Blunt, which we agreed was annoying AND overplayed at the height of its popularity. Weird Al's version was MUCH BETTER! *nod*

Then it came time for the meeting: I passed Darren a stack of birthday cards for Jon to sign when I was done with them, and he passed me some that Jon was finished with. (we were separated by two rows of people) Joey and Sam were looking up hockey (pool) stuff on someone's laptop, but everyone shared in the junk food people brought from various sources: rice cakes, Toblerone bar, Asian rice crackers, etc. Michelle got laughs out of the birthday cards I plan to give my parents later in the year - "Dad, here are descriptions of different kinds of poop / farts" and "Mom, I am going to get myself a butt tattoo for your birthday!" I managed to finish with the February AND March birthday cards at this meeting (plus read the Annual Reports), mainly because we spent ONE HOUR discussing two items pertaining to bylaws and such... and then spent some more time discussing "his" vs. "their." I need to get a birthday card for Sheena (which I thought I had already), and I still need to find out Sean's address from his sister Vanessa... email it is! At least Vania, Esther, and Sabrina got their January birthday cards today: Vivian gave Vania her birthday card today, too! (her birthday is January 7) At least Jon finished with the January cards so Steph could sign 'em... then I signed her birthday card right in front of her! I told Christon that I was using AGM time efficiently, haha. Christon had this large Sudoku puzzle, and Steph had her 20-foot-long Sudoku that Michelle gave her, too.

We decided to table certain things for a future meeting since the discussion was going to take way too long, which is a good thing! I laughed at the way various things were written in the Annual Reports - "our four golden flowers sang at the Chinese Opera night" and "the merging ceremony for the Charis and Koinonia Fellowships into the Enoch Fellowship was conducted like a wedding ceremony" being two prime examples. After that, the guys and I stopped by Safeway to buy dinner ingredients: mushrooms, chicken, peppers, lettuce, spinach, chocolate cherry ice cream which Nathan requested, an avocado, and broccoli. One interesting thing is that the organic broccoli was the same price as the regular pesticide-filled stuff... whoa! Then the sign for the orange peppers claimed that they were BC-grown, but the sticker on one of them said that they came from a BC Hothouse via Mexico! Oh well... the guys tried to be environmentally conscious and such, though! Doing the local produce thing / Garway Supermarket thing wasn't viable: Capers and Choices are expensive stuff, but you'd pay a premium for organic things anyhow!

On the way to Nathan's, we joked that Jeremy could start a new Internet trend by saying "IMAO" instead of "IMHO. "In my arrogant opinion" just sounds more humble than the other, haha. Then we discussed ways to avoid causing trouble with the police, plus various funny videos that Jeremy's seen. Once we got to Nathan's, the guys started cooking... but things didn't go as planned - right now, Danielle's complaining to Isabel (who just got home) about that! Hockey is boring to her, and we haven't even watched PARADISE NOW yet! Citrus was playing some game on his PSP involving machine guns and a police mission, Nathan and Christon were playing STREET FIGHTER on a game system, and plenty of discussion was had about basic training / work dynamics / game nights / working / AGM stuff / losing weight while playing Wii. Who knows when we'll watch this thing... hopefully soon! Rachel also emailed us to say she's settled in with the temperature fluctuations and such, and gave us her new address: sweet! :D

Quizzes from a triplet of sites: social skills and more!

I like starting a busy day off with quizzes, so sue me. :P (it won't be like Jeremy starting AND ending his day with oatmeal a couple of sleeps ago!)

You have the best social skills. You love meeting new people and get along with practically anybody. You have tons of friends and are constantly making more. You rule. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Now, that is a very apt description of NATHAN TO (whose house I shall be inhabiting in approximately eight-ish hours if all goes well and the AGM doesn't go overtime)... but maybe it's somewhat true for me, as well.

- Leslie's Sexy Acronym -
	L	is for...	Luring
	E	is for...	Enticing
	S	is for...	Spirited
	L	is for...	Lusty
	I	is for...	Inviting
	E	is for...	Enchanting
The Sexy Acronym Generator at QuizUniverse.com

How Old Do You Act

30 years old.

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

Right on the money, it seems... o_O

what is your 70's name

Tarzan

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

Yeah right!

Who likes you?

Spencer

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

You're doin' okay

You're doin' pretty good. Keep it up.

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

What are you going to blow up in 10 minutes?

A factory filled to the brim with high explosives

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

YOU KNOW SOME BUT NOT THAT MUCH, KEEP WATCHING

You have only watched a few episodes, so you really don't know that much... just keep watching.

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

Actually, I haven't watched ANY episodes! :P

You Are Most Like Cassie

You're a bohemian child, simply put on the earth to have a good time. You have a distorted sense of reality, and your morals are extremely low.

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

A definite "no" on the last part!

How You're Defined In The Dictionary

Soccer Legend

Take this quiz at QuizHeaven.com

Morality laws / Robert Pickton / KFC Honey BBQ Dipping Sauce

Called my sister earlier: her other plans involve running instead of watching the movie / hockey game at Nathan's. Eh, I have the rest of the week to try getting caught up on sleep! I have to mail out certain things that are long overdue... perhaps I'll get some cat / dog / insect stickers for Amos since he seemed to like them on Dylan's 30th birthday card today. (and maybe lug The Greater Vancouver Book: An Urban Encyclopedia to church tomorrow so Randal can borrow that too... but then I'll never see it for a couple of years since it's so huge!) If Jon doesn't remember the January birthday cards (I have February and March's cards to keep me awake at the AGM), I'll make him pay the ultimate price with blood. :P


Today's Buggery Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Under the urging of Anglican Bishop John Atherton, the Irish House of Commons passed "An Act for the Punishment for the Vice of Buggery" on November 11, 1634. Seven years later, the good Bishop Atherton is himself the second man hanged under the Act.

Culled from: Rotten Weird News
Generously submitted by: Steve O.

**********************************************************************

I see the more things change, the more they stay the same. Just ask Ted Haggard!

And speaking of injustice based on stupid morality laws, have you heard about the teenager serving 10 years in prison for receiving consensual oral sex? Ah, the Bible Belt...

*******

Morbid Link Du Jour!

Oh, how much do we all wish we were on THIS jury???

Thanks to Lady Morgana for the link.

*******

Morbid Mirth!

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


A: A Doberman on a children's playground!

You can blame David for that one.


KFC Honey BBQ Dipping Sauce

One of the favorite items that is on the menu is the barbecue sauce that was originally made fresh in the store and used to dip the wings, the original chicken, and now the chicken strips. Now it comes in a bag, and all we have to do is add hot water and keep warm.

1 1/2 cups ketchup
1/3 cup white vinegar
1/8 cup molasses
1/8 cup corn syrup
1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon liquid smoke flavoring
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon MSG
1/4 teaspoon of chili powder

In a saucepan, combine all of the above and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 5 minutes and keep warm. When you are ready to eat the chicken, dip it in and allow the chicken to drain for 1 minute.