Saturday, November 07, 2009

Aerie, Agnes, Alchemy, and Aquavette

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.


Aaronica: Veronica's more masculine twin sister. Child may attend numerous rallies for numerous causes.

Aaronita: One who has undergone an effective, albeit unnecessary "gender reassignment" surgery.

Aasta: An Italian noodle dish, usually served as the first course of a meal. Also, an unpopular, fruity diet soda blended in the early '70s.

Abcde (AB-cuh-dee) - A much-shorted form of Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. (AB-cuh-def-ghi-jekle-mnop-krstuv-wrexes) Popular front-woman for a children's group headlined by a large, yellow bird with imaginary friends. Exceptions to the rule: if siblings are Fghij, Klmno, Pqrst, Uvwxy, and (of course) Zee.

Abigail: The smartass who won't stop telling the other kids what to do.

Acenzion (aah-SEN-see-yawn) - Celebration of Christ's uplifting into heaven. Exception to this rule: if child was born on the fortieth day after Easter.

Acharius (uh-KARE-ee-us) - The fiscal year's first astrological sign. Also, a vehicle used for racing, usually as a preface to Christians being eaten by lions. [chariots]

Adelaise: A thick yellow French sauce often served with beef. Also, feminine form of the popular yet boring presidential candidate Adlai Ewing Stevenson. Child, as political namesake, will be doomed to multiple failures in races of all sorts.

Adie (AD-ee) - A dilemma common with readers of women's periodicals, the condition of too much advertising space in relation to editorial space. "I can't even read this month's Cosmo - it's just too Adie!"

Adrama: A popular daytime television format known for its poor acting and incredible plot lines. Often referred to as "my soap" or "my story."

Ae Jae (aah-JHAY) - The delicious, beef-based broth that generally accompanies a French Dip sandwich.

Aelyn: Not feeling well, frequently sick.

Aerie: Light, fluffy, void of substance, Twinkie-ish. Not only will she have a unique name, but her classmates can use it to describe the contents of her skull. "Wow, it sure is Aerie between your ears."

Affinity: A natural attraction, liking, or feeling of kinship. Child may be inexplicably drawn to a life of fetishism.

Africa: The second-largest continent of the planet Earth. A child with this name (though beautiful) will be war-torn, impoverished, and prone to natural disaster. She may also grow tired of men's attempts to "return to the cradle of humanity."

Agatha: One with an affinity for crime dramas and murder mysteries. Generally, child's term papers will follow a very similar format with recurring historical characters, and slightly varied locations.

Agnes: Old and wrinkly one. Along with Zelpha and Vera, a name that should not have been used after the nineteenth century.

Ahnu: Sound made when one sneezes. Child may develop a religious complex as a result of frequent "bless yous" or "gesundheits" given in response to her introduction.

Aimee: One who is aimed at, as with a slingshot or high-powered rifle. "Was she doing the aiming?" "No, she was the Aimee."

Aingee (AIN-jee) - An itchy skin condition causing patches of hair loss.

Airlea (air-LEE-uh) - Ethereal, heavenly, out of this world. National airline of a small European country boasting the greatest linseed oil reserves in the world.

Alabama: A state whose name is derived from the Choctaw words meaning "plant picker," and is best known as the birthplace of the Confederate Constitution. Primary crops include cotton, peanuts, and boll weevils.

Alabaster: Pasty-white daughter who will most likely burst into flames when exposed, unprotected, to the light of the sun.

Alafair: A country gathering held in the state of Alabama featuring vegetable growing contests, pie-eating contests, and if you're lucky, the world's largest pig. See also Alabama.

Alaska: The "Last Frontier" was purchased from Russia in 1867 for far too much money, and the USA still hasn't found a good use for this moose-and-polar-bear-infested wasteland. Nice work, Secretary of State William H. Seward.

Albreda: A brood mare.

Alchemy: The miraculous power of transmuting something common into something precious. Most likely to become a black widow grifter, marrying and murdering men of means.

Aleece: A chain or strap of material on the end of which one fastens a dog.

Aleena: A type of iron ore. Also a line of frozen low-calorie desserts.

Aleris: A midsized sedan imported from Korea and given a whimsical name in a failed attempt to appeal to American car buyers.

Alexis: Bitchy ex-wife of Colorado oil millionaire who frequently mud wrestles with Linda Evans in a pond. Also, a luxury sedan known for its high price but smooth ride. Exception to the rule: if you live in Times Square and want your daugher to stay close... especially on the streets.

Aloha: A traditional Hawaiian greeting or farewell. Child may never know if she's coming or going.

Alondra: The college dorm next to Faisan and Naranja.

Alorra: A small European nation nestled in the Pyrenees, whose main source of revenue is the printing of postage stamps.

Alreta: A convenient, soy-based pocket sandwich introduced during the Atkins craze.

Alta: A ski resort in the Wasatch mountain range of Utah known for its unpleasant attitude toward snowboarders.

Althea: Vanessa Huxtable's troubled friend and confidante, who dared to smoke in the house of famed comedian turned ob-gyn William Cosby.

Alva: The beer-thirsty pronunciation for the beginning of the statement "I would like another."

Amber: A yellowish-brown stone made from the fossilized sap of trees. Strange prehistoric insects can often be found entombed within Amber, then later made into jewelry.

Ambrosia: The food of the gods in ancient Greek and Roman mythology. Also, a delicious summertime dessert made from citrus slices and freshly-shaved coconut. The jokes referring to "eating Ambrosia" should be enough to deter any responsible mother and father from this name.

America: Land of the free. Home of the brave. Not a good name for a female child if she ever plans on backpacking across Europe. Also, if she's short, kids will call her South America. If she's tall, North America. Central America will become the destination of choice for the boys.

Amity: An international, multilevel marketing organization that promotes peaceful relations and friendship. This name has also been forever tainted by a 1979 horror film starring James Brolin.

Amnesty: Let's just hope your child never develops plans for international travel. She will most likely dedicate her life to the protection of human rights worldwide.

Amulet: A female child with this name will date only members of the local Dungeons and Dragons circle. If she's lucky and skilled enough to slay the Beholder, she may even rise to the level of Dungeon Master! Or so they say.

Anaya: An exceptionally attractive country music drag performer with a signature twang in his / her voice.

Andromeda: Ethiopian princess saved from a sea monster by Perseus. While she'll most likely be at the Star Trek convention, this name (referring to the major galaxy closest to our own) will ensure lifelong geek status.

Anelle: A small, pointed metal spike used in construction to hold materials together. "I hammered Anelle through that board to hold up the wall."

Angelica: Like many names destined to become ironic, this one will blow up in your face. Any adolescent female is bound to revolt against the unbelievably high behavioral expectations associated with this moniker. She will most likely amount to nothing more than an unwed crack mother turning tricks to pay the rent on her double-wide.

Angelina: Full-lipped, well-bodied action heroine who is often the stuff of young men's fantasies.

Anna (ANN-uh or AH-nuh) - If the first pronunciation, the nice girl next door. If the second pronunciation, the bitchy girl who lives in the vegan co-op and wears long floaty skirts with thick socks and sandals.

Anndee: The unattractive, red-haired life partner of Raggedy Ann. All this time you thought the short-cropped hair and overalls meant she was a boy?

Annekette (AN-uh-ket) - The art of behaving badly. Antonym: etiquette.

Apathy: A generalized sense of carelessness or malaise. Clear a spot on your couch, because that's where this good-for-nothing freeloader is going to spend the next thirty to forty years listening to speed metal and playing with her piercings. Her lack of interest and passion for anything other than rotting her teeth and widening her posterior will serve you right.

Aphrodite: Greek goddess of love and beauty similar to the Roman Venus. She'll marry a furnace repairman, but will always love a military man.

Apple: Shiny, red cherub of a fruit born into a family of performers. Destined for mockery, greatness, or frequent worm infestation.

Aprella: Month that follows Amarcha and precedes Amaya.

Aqua: A light greenish-blue color that looks nice on eyelids.

Aquanetta: A '40s B-movie actress whose film credits include Captive Wild Woman, Jungle Woman, and Tarzan and the Leopard Woman. Also, a hairspray for those ladies who need "serious hold."

Aquavette: A water sport diva.

Arabia: A peninsula between the Red Sea and the Persian Gulf. Home to vast oil fields and the world's largest dairy farm.

Ariana: A pale girl with a Confederate flag for a bedspread.

Arizoni: Along with Californi and Nevadi, states that Appalachian hillbillies aspire to pack up their trucks and move to.

Ashley: The pretty Judd.

Asia: The world's largest continent. Also, the culinary elements responsible for the flavor in fusion foods.

Aspire: To have great ambition; to soar. A burning funeral platform reserved for jerks. Just stay away from the "ass" names. Please.

Astrolena: The mascot for a Texas baseball team resembling a bloated, green-and-purple Muppet. Also, a woman with a 900 number who charges $24.99 per minute to predict the future.

Atlanta: Notoriously hard-to-get princess in Greek mythology. The largest city in Georgia. Where the players play. Often referred to as "Hotlanta" for its humid climate and high percentage of "booty shakers."

Aubren: A warm brown hair tone coveted by medium-smart blondes.

Aura: A cosmic force that surrounds people and things with psychedelic colors.

Aurora: Strange lights in the sky visible in the Northern Hemisphere. Considered the flatulence of the gods by early peoples.

Australia: Either the world's largest island or its smallest continent. Originally settled as a penal colony, it is largely populated by kangaroos, sheep, and the children of criminals.

Austria: Once the seat of power for the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Austria received a nasty spanking during World War I, and was brought along for an even nastier spanking during World War II by big brother Germany. Austria now mostly sticks to making clocks, chocolate, and California governors.

Autumn: Somewhere between frigid and hot.

Avani: A popular brand of bottled water from the artesian springs of Tijuana.

Avis: A child with this name will show a strange interest in renting automobiles. She will most likely start by renting skates to other schoolchildren with her friends Hertz, Budget, and National.

Aynslie: A really classy name smacking of McMansions and child beauty pageants.

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Hockey, the Awana store being smelly, and "oh my gosh" being "so funny" - yay, kiddies!

Ada and the kids picked me up, so I said hi to everyone. At church, Benedict let me into the elevator first - how cool. We wondered why the parkade was SO FULL at only 3:45 PM - I was determined to get answers, and I did get them from Uncle Eugene. Apparently, there was a choir workshop since this morning - I wasn't aware it would last all weekend! Said hi to a bunch of the kids (Rachel, Nina, Emily, Gerard, Josie, Priscilla) while checking them in. Eunice was cranky since she'd been up since 6 this morning without a nap - poor girl! Her mom Flora had been in a car accident, but was worried for the kids since they were in the back! Talked to her husband Andrew very briefly, too. Helped Auntie Vivian with the lychee pudding, too - at least she thanked me for it, and Chrystal thanked me for helping with the attendance sheets and explanations of various things! When Ada was leading singing, she asked the kids for an action for "you died." Mike came up to me and Chrystal, then said that he personally thought there wasn't a need for such an action - probably not, no!

Jordan asked me whether I had seen the hockey game last night. No, because I was at church then! He wondered why I'd been there, so I told him. Then he talked to me about needing a bandage, and about how many games he and his brother Thomas have been in. Matthew Ma #2 said hi to me (with the correct name), and Chrystal asked whether he knew that there was another Matthew Ma in Awana - he did. Benedict later expressed surprised confusion, but it's a good thing they're in different clubs for now. Conor's brother Sean wanted me to open the Awana store, then didn't want to go to storytime because it was "smelly." Okay, kid... whatever you say!

Later, Mike was telling Martin NOT to teach Regan to say "I'm fabulous!" with a head tilt. When his sister Jinny came to see what was going on, Mike told her to make sure that her little brother didn't do that at school. Martin wondered why, and Mike said that he didn't want the kid to get beaten up, even if he would figure things out because he's in Grade 4! Brian and his brother Padraic were dancing Russian-style, and we were all amused by that, too.

Sean L. was writing some things on the chalkboard, so I asked him what was going on. "Oh my gosh and oh my dear are SO FUNNY! Red gets 600 points!" is what he told me - hahaha, he's so cute! Talked briefly to Lesley when she came to pick up a couple of kids - she's so tired, and could have gone to sleep right then! I could relate, trust me. The kids were pretty funny today, so that's good. When Melia told them to tell their parents to keep them at home if they were sick on Saturdays, one of the kids asked "What if we have H1N1?" Then DEFINITELY stay at home, girl... hahahaha! On the way home, Ian told his mom to hurry up since he was hungry - haha, oh dear. You can't exactly do that when you're driving!

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Dream about shrinkage / BOOM! I will blow you up!

I had a weird phone call from BRISTOL... 709-754-3682, anyone? Henry also called to say he has strep throat, so I told him to stay home and rest. He did sound sick, whereas I sound perfectly clear... heh. So I called Ada, who says she'll be here around 3 - sounds good then!

Had a weird dream in which Harmony and I shrank to mouse-size, and Hannah and Priscilla were playing with us in a big house. We also were transported to a MARIO-like game with castles, lakes, and fire. After rescuing the world from sure catastrophe, Harmony and I were restored to normal size, just in time for us to lead a song with the little kids at church. We went up with them to the front, where there were pews for everyone to sit. The kids were a bit rambunctious, but I quelled them all with a few words and a LOOK. Some other people didn't have the correct "dress" when we were outside afterwards, but that was soon remedied with a truckload of the correct clothing. Someone else also wanted to be with us, but we said that he was too late and would never be the right person. Interesting dream, haha!


You're the type of person who would be a very moody superhero. In fact, you'd walk the line between superhero and supervillain.

Blowing up a whole town or planet wouldn't be out of the question for you if you felt angry enough.

You are naturally a justice enforcer. Sometimes there is so much wrong with the world that it really gets you down.

You can't help but want to punish everyone who's evil. There's nothing that makes you madder than criminals who are allowed to walk.

Damn right! I can think of a few people who deserve to be blown up...

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Dylan's mistakes are fodder for laughter! / NO COFFEE!

When I left this afternoon, I was very annoyed at the inconsiderate smoker who was chilling with his back against the side door - hello, you deserve my pushing the door against you from the other side! I managed to get the 401 because it actually waited at the stop for me to run across the road, and got the 410 before it pulled away from THAT stop - phew! Eric was there within a few minutes, coming from the other way to confuse me, haha. I told him that I hated certain people, which of course turned into a rant about the usual subject these days. I said that if Mr. Creep had anything to say during the AGM tonight, it wouldn't minimize my feelings against him any more. Eric said that he MIGHT have stuff to say - luckily, it turned out that he didn't say anything to the group at large.

We also discussed gas prices (108.7?!), Sunday's dinner at Jeremy's, showering, and why he'd given me a weird look on Monday after I'd gone to take care of something during Committee Meeting. He'd thought I was reacting to what Dylan had told me about not saying that Mr. Creep was in fact a creep, but that would have come sooner if it were! I was just taking care of "flow protection," as he termed it when I explained that I'd had to change something. Hey, at least he gets it without my having to say exactly what it was, haha...

Went up to the second floor, where I saw Margaret playing her guitar. Saw Eric T., and asked him about the new teaching job: he loves it! One of the new Awana leaders said hi to me, but I didn't realize he was talking to me at first - haha, oops. I think I know his name (Jason), and that's about it - it's cool then. Eric was looking around for tables and things like that - he wondered where Kevin was, since there was food in our room. He came up the stairs with a number of people (including Mr. Creep) - but it was okay since they were bringing food and such. Still... I kept away from him just because I didn't want to start a fight. That would REALLY be something... NOT. Had smelt as part of dinner - and rice / noodles / veggies / beef. Discussed Jon's movie extra work: he got $150 for ten minutes of playing violin as background music for a black-tie party scene! Also talked about our weeks, dinners, and suchlike. Jen got a new job at Banana Republic, so we were all happy for her!

The meeting went all right, and all six of us were confirmed to be on Committee next year. We all laughed at Dylan's mistakes on his Powerpoint, which he blamed on the wine he'd had at his in-laws' place last night, haha. "2010" should be "2009" and "2011" should be "2010." Hahaha! Andrea asked me about my Gmail chat status - no, nothing HAS happened, but I still don't like Mr. Creep! She thought that maybe with time, it'll be fine - maybe, we'll see. Jon's saying that I shouldn't react like that in public - yeah, but I really can't help how I feel. Praying for someone who claims to be a fellow brother in Christ is fair enough, but even "claims to be" and not "is" might be a bit suspect, although it IS Jon's education making him cautious about that. Sure, I want to be watchful and kinda welcoming, but this person just strikes me as ODD somehow. I won't talk to him till... well, I dunno. I have been praying for certain people and such, but as for him not being a pervert? We'll see. (Jon thinks I should have some respect for him - and try not to smear him intentionally - we shall see) Said hi to Teresa, Grace, Shally, and other people as well.

Had some pie for dessert, and went out in the hall to talk to Daniel Fellowship people since it was so early. Andrew said school was all right, and Hien thinks she knows who I am talking about in that FB message - oh, good. Stanley said that someone had thought he was a mugger - in black ski cap and black jacket? Yeah, not surprised. Mike said something about a Wii, and Jon thought he meant WEED. Said hi to Emily, as well. Eventually, everyone went downstairs - I made sure to keep even my stuff as far away from Mr. Creep as possible! He then invited us for coffee - good thing Eric was blocking me so he couldn't see the look on my face! We WERE going to celebrate Jen's new job, but she was worried about her dog at home. Understandable if we shift it to Sunday!

On the way home, Eric and I talked about trust issues and such - I know some of it COULD stem from my experiences with Korey (ugh!), but I'm not saying EVERYONE deserves to be welcomed without reservation. He thinks that if I am civil to Raymond, it could be something that leads him to think that I'm not a bad person. We've just ignored each other for the past few months... as for me and Randal, I myself am working on turning the corner to being civil if we talk to each other. He did address me by name when he said "Excuse me" as he was carrying a tray of leftover food around. On another note, Eric said that I should be able to read FLASH FORWARD - hopefully so! Says that Blizzard is a WORLD OF WARCRAFT server - I KNOW, YOU DORK! Talked about Facebook "reconnection," Dylan, Corey, hotels, disasters, and other stuff too. I don't know about Mr. Creep being a good person, but at least he's avoided me for the past three weeks or so! Eric thinks that he might think I *like* him since I'm playing "hard to get" - uh, no. I gave HIM some perspective, and said that creeps will take ANY attention as a positive! Of course, I still refused to say his name, even in the privacy of the car! I know, it's wrong of me, but... *sigh*

Poo nugget for this weekend: Why Would Anyone Want a Rabbit as a Pet? - Rabbits can produce over five hundred pellets of poo every day. [the picture is a rabbit sitting atop a HUGE pyramid of poo pellets, hahahaha!]

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Friday, November 06, 2009

Accidentally left my ringer on, but thank goodness for Eric! (wedding cakes?!)

Eric called to see if I could make it to Cambie / Jacombs at 6:30 - should be okay, I guess. Fortunately, he was the only person who called me during the time I accidentally left my ringer on! Then Pastor John called to inquire as to whether I felt anything else about Mr. Creep - no, and while I can understand my needing to be positive and respectful especially since I'm on Committee, I still don't like Mr. Creep AT ALL. Says that maybe I need to be more careful in telling everyone - I don't tell EVERYONE, although I expect that my feelings are very visible to certain people.

Of course, Eric's been telling me that for the past two weeks as well - and even Pastor John knows that I don't react that way to new people in general. I've usually been welcoming... and before this, I kept my private thoughts just that. However, if he EVER comes up as a name for membership in DF, I think I'll have to abstain myself from that discussion IF there is even any warning about it. We'll see... my drop-down menus suddenly rendered themselves invisible, so I asked Corey about it after Google proved unhelpful - he said to restart because of running out of memory. PHEW, THAT WORKED! Time to shower and such before I leave... but not before I see who wins that Suite 101 contest! (some guy named Glen from Surrey)

You Are a Romantic Wedding

For you, love is sweet and precious. You don't love easily, but those you do love are showered with affection.

To be unloved would probably make it hard for you to love again. It's hard enough for you to love as is.

Romantic love is very intense for you... and very private. You aren't one to talk about your relationship with others.

You may even keep your love a secret at first. You don't like opening up your relationship to scrutiny and gossip.

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Hien, Itamar, Israel, Poland, and enemas!

Hien sent me an MSN message about Mr. Creep, but the program wasn't working correctly. I was having a good Facebook chat with Itamar about Israel / Poland / origins / his birthday, so decided to resort to the Facebook message route. Man, that message was kinda LONG, but it also had to be that way. Gotta give people INFORMATION, you know?

Poo nugget for Friday, November 6: Hold That Enema - Enemas are widely available and are used for the treatment of constipation. However, inappropriate use can result in serious consequences. Stimulation of the vagus nerve (as occurs when enemas are forcibly discharged into the rectum) can trigger an arrhythmia known as bradycardia, in which the heart rate can slow to dangerous levels. The most common side effects of enema overuse are massive diarrhea and severe electrolyte imbalances.

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Thursday, November 05, 2009

Dragon Vase, townhouse colors, Jack Russell Terriers, and more!

Jon and Harmony picked me up in the rain, and Harmony said that Jon had said something about having a uterus - um, yeah... you are NOT a girl, man! Discussed Women's Group, what we did today, and other things on the way there. When we got to the townhouse, Steph said that she got me a sign which made her think of me. "Friends Welcome - Relatives By Appointment" indeed! Reminds me of this picture which we took in Alaska:

We discussed Isabel, paint colors for Steph's townhouse (yellow / grey / blue / brown), the loyalty differences between dogs and cats, Holly and Peter's dog, Myles' car, November and December dinners, almonds, Jon's birthday bash at Jeremy's on the 29th, Grandma, Great-Aunt, Prince Charles and Camilla, crankiness, Steph's work and her schedule, Servants, Dallas, Disability Savings, the news, Gordon's wedding invitation, cars, Melissa and her brother Nathan and their dad, Nate, Eric H., that shooting today in Fort Hood, Hong Kong, and other things over dinner. Steak and veggies was pretty good - interesting pasta, too. Had coffee afterwards - apparently, Dad is kinda mellowing about getting a dog. Steph was looking up Jack Russell Terriers on Wikipedia, and concluded that they might be too hyper / destructive for Mom, heh. Got the aforementioned sign, a dragon vase, organic whole wheat spaghetti, fig / plum jam, cake, a muffin, Ragu pasta sauce, apples, and fake flowers too. Interesting stuff, for sure...

Sitting On Tha Toilet! - HAHAHAHA! Thanks, Darren! :D

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Magic Erasers, cleaning tips, stove tops, finding lost objects

I looked up 8 Cleaning Tips For Crusty Stove Tops, and also researched Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser. After also looking up bus times, it was off to London Drugs. I looked at candy, toothpaste, toothbrushes, and other things without finding them appealing AT ALL - besides, I have enough of that stuff at home! Saw some clothing and jackets, but they were too expensive or simply not appealing either. So I only left with melon / berry / tropical punch lip balm (for my jacket pockets) and the Magic Eraser, which I was planning to get anyway.

Tried the Magic Eraser at home, but it didn't seem to work in the way I envisioned - not too surprised. I'm thinking I'll try Tip #6 from the cleaning site later, since I found some baking soda (along with Vim, Comet, and SOS pads) in the back of the cupboards under the sink. I also found that package of pads which I thought I'd left at the townhouse or something back in August - good thing, because they seemed to cost more than normal when I bought them. Yup, the new ones fit in the pad bucket... yay! Also found out that Chris Rogers unfriended me from Facebook, but that's okay since we only really interacted in the Blood Games and such anyhow.

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She has WHAT size boobs?!!!!!!

I've just heard of a girl with L cup boobs - that has Teunis' friend Cat beat by a few, since she "only" has F cup boobs! Of course, I reflexively apologized to Eric for even following Teunis' line of conversation that afternoon about the pain he imagined that she'd go through - poor Diven has no sisters to desensitize him, haha.

Edit 1 at 1310: I just set the smoke alarm off for the FIRST time ever while living in this place. Not sure why the Fettuccine Alfredo smelled like burning (nothing was on fire!), but maybe it'll be better if I use the normal pot... which means that I am possibly in the market for a new non-stick pot, AGAIN. Wish my mom wouldn't give me "substandard" things, heh.

Edit 2 at 1335: Okay, maybe it's not the pot that's to blame. Perhaps I should clean the stove elements more than once a year - EWWWW! :P

You Are Apples

You have simple tastes in food, and you appreciate a basic, clean flavor. You don't think eating or cooking should be complicated.

In fact, you're really not one for cooking much at all. Your best meals come together quickly and don't require many ingredients.

If anything, you're the type of person who's more likely to pull out the oven mitts and bake every so often.

Chocolate chip cookies are one of your favorite things to smell baking, and it goes without saying that you love apple pie.

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My first Women's Group experience... and boobs. Gotta have the boobs!

I called Andrea tonight to see if she was going to Women's Group: she wasn't sure if I was coming or not, but Jen called after they picked Harmony up. It worked for me, although I should have been doing other things too. Before I left, I was morbidly amused by Corey's joke about how I got boobs: "you kidnapped a baby girl and kept her locked in the closet until puberty, and then cut them off of her, and put the rest of her in the furnace?" NO!!!!!!! :P

I also need a new winter coat because the inner pocket of the Regina Sears one is RIPPED, and the zippers are FLIMSY... maybe next week... Seriously, I thought I'd lost my keys this afternoon, but they were in the inner pocket. The same thing has happened with pens, lip balms, and money! Figures that my mother chose it, although they WERE on sale - probably for a reason, haha. Oh well.

Jen, Andrea, and Harmony picked me up for Women's Group. It was interesting in that I got to see certain people I don't see TOO often in a group study context, like Calla / Stella / Auntie Bessy. I think I liked the experience enough to repeat it, which I guess is saying something. Discussed the Toronto blackout, the women in the Bible, ministries, our lives, Halloween candy, educating kids about Christ, chocolate brownies, green tea, and other things. Wasn't too bad, heh... except I stepped on a puddle on the way IN, so I had to do yet ANOTHER load of laundry when I got home!

Got home to find that Vanessa had expressed concern about my email and my Gmail chat status - good thing she's not on MSN, otherwise she'd be concerned about that too. (and Jon's concerned, too - UGH, STOP IT!) Then I called my mom back (she'd called during the evening) - but I had to wait till she finished her TV show... *sigh*

Poo nugget for Thursday, November 5: Doo You Know? - The Major Components of Human Farts - Nitrogen (20 to 90 percent), Carbon Dioxide (10 to 30 percent), Hydrogen (0 to 50 percent), Oxygen (0 to 10 percent), Methane (0 to 10 percent).

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

It was PEACEFUL with Danielle, Jon, and Harmony - har har har!

Just missed the 407, so I thought I was going to be late, especially when I got out of Broadway Station at just past noon. Luckily, Peaceful Restaurant was less than a block away. Danielle, Jon, Harmony, and I talked about Phil, Danielle's being BUSY with work, next week's Red Robin's party for Vanessa / Melia / Emily, meetings, long-distance relationships being more accepted these days, Hon / Eva, Phil / Megan, Phil / Grace, Brent and Wisconsin, Andrea / Chuck, personality tests like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs, mystery shopping (oil changes - SQM), Holly, Fellowship stuff, AGM rules, introversion / extroversion / calming down / being expressive, and more. The food at the restaurant was pretty good, so it was perfect for me!

We laughed when Danielle described her rather informal "interviews" with kids on MSN; you definitely can't be like "I gotta go since my mom's calling me to dinner" or "be right back - gotta shower" in a face-to-face meeting, hahaha! I told Jon that I had to prep today if I wanted to get to the dinner tomorrow (still not sure I want to go), while they went to Elysium Coffee House and shopped for groceries. Hugged Danielle goodbye - it was good to meet with her! Went home and finished two Bathroom Readers (#17 and #21) since I was almost done reading them. Now maybe I'll catch up and do some more stuff...

Edit, ten minutes later: HARD TIMES - hahaha! Thanks, Jane! (justsurvive) "This painting represents the intellectual side of an individual at the most private event of the day, which is bathroom time -- a time of the day which is pretty forgotten by many but yet, it's so natural."

You Should Exercise

Part of what's stressing you out is the anger you feel toward others or the situation you're in.

You don't want to be stressed out, but factors out of your control are really messing with your mind.

You can work out some of those demons in a productive way through exercise. And it can be any exercise you choose.

Go for a walk or a run. Chill out with yoga. Really get out some aggression with boxing. In the end, you'll be glad you did it.

Too bad it doesn't say anything about punching out the person who's CAUSING you the stress... only half-kidding. :P

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Apostrophes, Boston stuff, John, Dan, triple birthdays, Volvulus

How to correctly use an apostrophe: for extra fun, right-click and view page source. :D

Steph has weighed in on the "November dinners" email to call us all lards, and say that she got me and Jon something from Boston. Nice... even if she didn't find anything suitable for the parents, haha.

Talked briefly to Leigh, who says it was 12:30 at 9:40 here... oh, time zones! Exchanged email with John and Dan - too bad Dan sounds really down, even as he thanked me for remembering his birthday. Vanessa sent me an Evite to a birthday party - triple celebration for her, Melia, and Emily! At least it's at the Broadway / Oak Red Robin's next Tuesday at 7... shouldn't be TOO hard for me to attend, haha.

Leslie's just got their Austin Powers Name from Name Generators. It's Random Task.

Poo nugget for Wednesday, November 4: Dr. Stool Says - Volvulus - This twisting of the colon causes intestinal obstruction, and can cause abdominal pain in addition to the inability to pass stool. There is marked geographic variation in this condition, with the highest rates seen in the so-called "volvulus belt" - countries including India, Iran, Russia, and Brazil where volvulus is a common cause of intestinal obstruction. While genetic factors may play a role, these countries' residents also consume high-fiber diets that result in them having larger-diameter colons. In turn, this may predispose them to volvulus formation.

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Tuesday, November 03, 2009

What Are They Most Likely To Say?

Here's a "what are they most likely to say?" tagging picture that I got from one of Candy's friends:

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Harry Potter, Garfield, Vancouver Canucks, dinosaurs, the circus, Sesame Street, and more!

After eating a banana and becoming a Facebook fan of Bathroom Readers, I was off to the mall, just missing the pest control guy. (for once, he comes when I'm actually awake! - but then I had to leave!) I went to Indigo Spirit today, looking for Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader (#22), but they didn't have it. I was able to use a "$5 off" coupon on Garfield Fat Cat 3-Pack: A triple helping of classic Garfield humor (for my brother, which I plan to read first - contains Garfield Beefs Up, Garfield Gets Cookin', and Garfield Eats Crow), two Vancouver Canucks bookmarks (one for snooooopy / John A.), a Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince bookmark for Nyssa (giggles_19), a Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix bookmark for Sheryll (sheryll), and a bookmark which lists "The Top 10 Reasons to Read Every Day." I bought Harry Potter bookmarks in 2008 for Nyssa and Sheryll, but I can only find one of them now that I'm home.. oh well. I'll send the extra along, of course... Yee Poh would probably want me to keep her money for myself, but I'm being giving towards others too. (and no, this is NOT a consequence of maternal guilt trips!)

Then I went to Carlton Cards, where I got an unexpected 50% off discount every time I bought two sticker packs. I had the SLOWEST CLERK EVER, which did nothing for my patience levels. Got two snowflake packs, a dinosaur pack (I may have bought two last year for Aydin - dontlickit - and her little brother, but can't find them), a horse pack, a circus pack, a happy face pack, a "crosses with Bible verses" / religious pack, a letter sticker pack, a Sesame Street Christmas pack, a Nativity Scene pack, a "flowers and BEST FRIENDS!" pack, an "cute animals at the zoo" pack, a Santa pack, a "Christmas teddy bears" pack, a "Merry Christmas" winter pack, and a "Christmas dog and cat" pack. Afterwards, I got cash out of the bank machine before finally going home. Tonight's plans: set my alarm, prep SOME Christmas cards, eat Homestyle Cheddar, shower, and do two loads of laundry!

Top 10 Reasons to Read Every Day

1. Frees your mind.
2. Impresses everyone with what you know.
3. Develops your imagination.
4. Chases away BOREDOM.
5. Teaches you something.
6. Takes you to faraway places.
7. Sends you to the past or into the future.
8. Introduces new people and cultures.
9. Opens up new worlds.
10. Gives you serenity.

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Elaine on Facebook / Peaceful Restaurant / Celebrities

Elaine FINALLY added me on Facebook, after like four months! Man alive! Danielle, Jon, Harmony, and I are apparently going to Peaceful Restaurant tomorrow... guess I'll have to get up earlier. That sucks, haha! (Broadway and Cambie-ish)

You Would Be a Smart Celebrity

You're already very well-read and curious about the world. So why would that change simply because you got famous?

If anything, with more money to devote to traveling and charity, you would be even more worldly.

Even though you may abhor most celebrity causes, you'd probably have a cause of your own if you were famous. You just care too much not to.

You'd be a celebrity in the mold of Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon.

Poo nugget for Tuesday, November 3: Old Glory - In 2005, German citizens expressed their disdain for George W. Bush by placing miniature flag portraits of the U.S. president in over 2000 piles of dog poo, giving new meaning to being the "butt of a joke."

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Monday, November 02, 2009

I don't give a fig about your meeting DECORUM

I finally left my place around 5, and wondered if I'd have enough time to find a durable replacement at the mall before meeting Eric. After waiting through traffic on the bus route, I got off one stop early and decided to see if Roots or Bentley had what I was looking for. Bentley had a bag, but for $35 - more than I was willing to pay. Roots had the reusable bags, but they were smaller than what I wanted... I didn't mind paying the fifty cents for one, so that wasn't the objection. For some reason, I walked into Aldo (where I almost never shop) and asked if they sold reusable bags. I walked out a few minutes later as a happy customer, since I was able to get one of their AIDS charity bags for $10 without any tax - yay for the proceeds going to charity! The blue bag was generally what I was envisioning, and it even had a zipper!

Went to meet Eric, and JUST got the 410 a minute or so before it went away from the bus stop. With my walking speed, it was a close race as to whether I'd actually get it or not. Good thing I did, because I only had to wait three minutes or so in the rain before Eric showed up. I was random, then asked what he was in the mood for as far as dinner went: why am I not surprised about the Spicy Italian bit? Updated him about yesterday, Jen, Connie, the discussion we'd had about Mr. Creep, Christon, Randal, Jeremy's Magic Bra email picture, and things like that before HE went random on a tangent about Dr. Bishop and weird cities. Then he sang some weird tune - just when I was thinking that I wouldn't mind if he did it for some time longer, he stopped. Oh well. He wondered whether I had the ability to FEEL things from people - I didn't think I did, but maybe in some small form, I do. Then I asked if he could see into the future, which just reminded me of FLASH FORWARD - I have yet to read OR watch that, unfortunately!

The meeting itself with Pastor John / Kevin / Dylan / Johnny was kinda uneventful (never mind the guys being geeks by talking about Windows 7 and iPhones), but Eric HAD to bring up Mr. Creep - I couldn't help but say "EW!" Then Johnny wanted to know who that was - I'm used to characterizing the guy as a creep, so of course that's what I did. Earned myself a reproof in the name of "meeting decorum" from Dylan, who said that he knew I had personal feelings, but... OH, SHUT UP! He's lucky I didn't want the meeting to derail into something quite bad, otherwise I'd have gone into a rant right there on the spot, never mind his beloved MEETING DECORUM. (as I told Eric later) Honestly, I can understand why he said that, but it's not like Creep was actually THERE IN THE ROOM! Some people are insane...

Earlier, Dylan wondered whether Harmony had changed her name - his wife Deb wants to change hers, apparently. No, she has not - and neither did her sister! Learned info about Jose, too - YAY! Our next meeting isn't till early January, so that's good. (and we have both Christmas and New Year's off...) On the way home, Eric told me that Creep had actually HELPED him and Randal draw food on a booth for the Kids' Carnival on Wednesday night... EWWWWW! Good thing he told me that AFTER Halloween, because I'd have done SOMETHING to Creep had I known about it BEFORE! (or maybe I just like to think I would have, but STILL...) Yes, I know this year's theme was FOOD, but still... Eric wanted to know what I thought about Randal drawing bananas (as long as Mr. Creep didn't draw them - PHALLIC SYMBOL!) or milk (breast-feeding?) or sushi or eggplant - whatever. I don't suspect HIM of being a creep... if Mr. Creep's name comes up for DF membership in six months or fewer, I swear I'm going to have to say NO.

Eric said that of course I'd accept my brother as a Fellowship member, and I've accepted my sister-in-law into my family, so I wouldn't have issues with her either. He's correct, of course. I said that I'd discovered Creep works as a JANITOR - oh man. I then equated bacon (what HE drew for the card game) with grease and lube - Eric did one of several facepalms he had to do during the course of the ride, and said that I was either a brilliant psycho or really deranged. Talked about being POLITE rather than blunt - meh, I think I'll have to work on that when it comes to certain people! Later, he mimed taking meds - HA, as if I need them! He thinks I need someone who will accept my fears - we'll see.

At home, I discovered an irreparable hole in the bling sweater that I was wearing - UGH. But at least I found that my replacement bag worked well for its intended purpose! Jon called a few minutes after I got home, and informed me that he and Harmony thought my excuse was ridiculous... I do need prep time! To emphasize the excuse being reality, I guess I will bring the replacement bag along, and actually work on some prep - reading the passage and teacher book, for sure. Maybe I'll bring Jon's birthday card so Steph can sign it - and Vivian S.'s card, as well. Told Jon about the ripped bag too, heh.

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Magic Bra printout on Jeremy's wall...

Pastor John wondered whether there was a Committee meeting tonight - upon Eric calling him, Dylan thought it was NEXT WEEK! Hahaha... I don't think being married has improved his memory any! Vivian says she's sick... that's too bad! Eric just called and said that maybe I should be at Cambie / Jacombs by 6:15 or so... I guess two hours is long enough to look for a durable replacement for my Crabtree & Evelyn bag! Although I want to stay home, I can't... oh well. Told him that unless he wanted me to teleport to the church, I certainly would need a ride since his assumption of my going to tonight's meeting is correct. (told him that he sounded like he was sick on the phone, too...) Also have put this weekend's candy into jars - oh good, now maybe I can eat!

Jeremy emailed us about the Magic Bra collage:

I've attached a photo of the printed-out email. This is now up on the wall above where the bra used to be.

Cheers everyone,

Nathan's reaction came in less than an hour later:

WWWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Bloody brilliant, Jer!!! (though also, somewhat obsessive... but hey, I am too, and Brilliant Artists are like that. Take that as a compliment. ;-) ) Dude, I think your true calling is in the Arts. You should totally come join me at Goldsmiths. You'd fit right in. :-)

Cheers to Jer and the Ghost of the Magic Bra.....

So I tried to view the picture, and it was flipped around! Corey advised me to save it first, and then manipulate it with the Windows Photo Viewer... that seemed to work well. Uploading photos to Facebook doesn't work in Firefox, AGAIN... guess I have to use IE for this once more!

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Daniel, Michelle, Angus, Melia, Margaret, and Johnny in a tent dream / Stereotypes

I had an odd dream where Daniel, Michelle, Angus, and Melia were invited over to Phoenix's house. (would never happen in waking life!) Everyone was having a good discussion about stuff when Daniel noticed that Kelly was in the room. She sat down on the bed, and he immediately grabbed her hand. His wife was NOT impressed, and Angus and Melia decided that now was an excellent time to share about what made their private life so good. I ran outside to hopefully grab Benedict, who was rumored to be walking around outside the neighborhood. He came with me immediately when I explained what the problem was - when he came in and explained to people why discussing things and being all affectionate to others in front of your wife wasn't a good idea, everyone stopped what they were doing.

Then we were all suddenly transported to a bus station, where we embarked on a huge bus that was going along the track at a good speed. Apparently, someone at a toll booth thought the #330 was being hijacked... but no, the driver legitimately had the bus! We went to a huge field where there were a lot of "personal" tents. The concept was that you'd go into a tent, and learn all sorts of things about ONE friend of yours. Margaret K. (in red) was really proactive in getting her friends and acquaintances to come to hers... but we simply had to check out Johnny's first, haha. We discussed weird stuff, for sure... Margaret had a lot of food, tacky rings, and questions. It was an interesting one, for sure. I woke up at some point, and that ended the dream. Not sure why I had it, but okay then...

You Are a Girl or Guy Next Door

You are as all-American as apple pie, and you're so normal that you belong in a TV sitcom.

And really, that's a pretty great thing. You're a solid person, and you pride yourself on being quite down to earth.

You value your friends and family, and you don't need much in life to be content. You feel grateful for what you have.

You are honest, and you have a great work ethic. You believe in giving back as much as you can.

I'm NOT American, though! *mad*

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Porkchops, not caring about Mr. Creep's scars, reprising Greatest Hits of Sunday Dinners

Randal, Jen, and Connie came over in short order - I was a bit surprised to see Randal, but we're generally civil these days. Everyone discussed squash, Bible-ripping, porkchops, the "greatest hits" of Sunday Dinners past, what we'd do to celebrate Jon's birthday this year, the flu shot, Scotch cheesecake, my NOT turning red for once, my "score" of discounted candy, Buy-Low (Jon and Harmony went there just before going to Jeremy's!), text expression, people who date for a LONG time (and plan their life years ahead so they'll know about what they do during that time - Christon's friend does this), Ray and Peggy, and more. We saw Ryan (Jeremy's roommate) briefly, and we girls were having an intense discussion about Mr. Creep while the guys were cooking in the kitchen.

Christon just thinks that he doesn't want the guy to have another scar like the one he had at the past church where he attended the university fellowship. While I can understand that, and I admit it IS bad when the leader of the group comes to you and basically bars you from the fellowship because people feel uncomfortable because of the age gap (and this only happened three or four years ago), you'd think he would LEARN! Sure, our fellowship is a little older (and Pastor John has this vision of inter-generational small groups), but for some reason, I still have NO PROBLEM being less than welcoming to him! Jen thinks she could give him a chance, but I still won't because of my instinct. Sure, my instinct could have been wrong before, but I think I still have to go with my gut on this one. If younger people benefit from older people's experiences (mentors?), I obviously have NO problem with that... but not when Mr. Creep is included. If he turns out NOT to be a predator or whatever, it's all very well and good. But I'm not excluding him based on race or anything else like that!

We recounted the twice-burned beef stew which only Ray liked, the overly salty root vegetables that Christon made (which Eric bugged him about for MONTHS afterward!), the homemade Pho, and other such hits and misses for Connie, Jen, and Randal. It was a hilarious discussion, for sure... Connie's a complete newbie to the Sunday Dinner Experience, and seemed to enjoy the stories. As usual, the guys overcooked - the pork chops were MASSIVE, man! Discussed certain things which happened to Christon in Quebec and France (underage drinking and fights), peeling carrots (it's COOL for me!), clapping when all the pork chops were done at 9:25 (we ate at 7:45 or so), German "cat tongue" candy, the various beers, and other such things. Connie dropped Jon and Harmony off at home before dropping me off at the Canada Line station - we discussed the Panties on Hoops Myspace page, a hypothetical Sunday Dinner group on Facebook, Nathan's wackiness (he should do the writeup for the Facebook group!), and more.

While I was waiting outside Brighouse Station for a 401 or 407, one of the handles of my Crabtree & Evelyn bag just RIPPED off. Good thing the walk from the 401 / 407 bus stops to my place is not that far! (although I'd be at a disadvantage if a guy tried robbing me or whatever) Maybe I should make the group, and then I can control who gets in, muhahahaha. At home, I placed all the candy on the table because there really is no other good place to put it (for now), and then called Andrea back since she'd called me an hour and a quarter earlier. Turns out she sent me an email about women's group this week - at Karmie's place, eh? Hmm... I'll see, if evil redrum doesn't make me too blah! Kempy also suggested I become a fan of his band Booster on Facebook - Spoz already is, so WHY NOT? Hahaha...

You Are the Suburbs

You've got a bad rap, but you think people are just jealous of how good you've got it.

You prefer to live somewhere that's clean, safe, and cheap. What could be wrong with that? You're not going to apologize for liking chain restaurants and good schools.

While you may not be as sophisticated as the city, you're content with your life. Plus, there's more to do in the suburbs than people think.

Besides, you can visit the city anytime you'd like. And when your fun in town is done, you have a comfy suburban house to come home to.

Poo nugget for Monday, November 2: Camouflage Poo - Synonyms: Dalmatian Dookie, Chocolate Chip Cookie Doo, Black and Tan, Olive Leaf. (POO OF THE MONTH!)

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Sunday, November 01, 2009

Creep vibes, random stuff, SCARY TALL GIANTS, and more!

My mom thought that I was meeting with Auntie Ying to prepare for toddler Sunday School during the week, which isn't true. I could have let her think that, but then that would lead to another set of questions like "You're not making her go out of her way, are you?!" Even if we DID meet up to do that, it would be where it's convenient for both of us. So then Mom tried getting me to go to the dinner, since I can always "prepare during the day" - I've found something that works for me (if I'm not getting disrupted), and taking three hours out for a dinner is not really an option right now. We'll see about things in future, I guess - my dad said to just let me do what I do. There you go, then!

Got to service late, and was going to sit by Kevin until I realized that Mr. Creep was two rows up. My worship experience would be tainted / ruined by the CREEP VIBE even at that distance, so I quickly switched spots and ended up next to my brother and Harmony. (Daniel came in later and sat by me) I didn't care if Randal was in the row behind me, so that worked. Shook hands with a few people pre-Communion, and the sermon was fine, since it referenced THE DARK SIDE! During a couple glances up to the crying room, I accidentally looked the wrong way, and had Mr. Creep in my line of vision - oh well.

Gave Jon another random bag of stuff from Mom - I know he has as much need for it as I do (which is to say very little), but it's okay since she gives us BOTH random stuff, haha. He found some pretty old things in there, let me tell you! Once I saw Auntie Ying, I gave her the HEAVY 500 sheets of paper I'd bought last week - hey, the kids seem to like drawing! Talked to Chrystal, Melia, Jen, Jeremy, Eric, Harmony, Hannah x2, Natalie, Danielle, and more people: Part 2 of the "you must be pregnant because you slept over at a guy's house!" (the girls found it funny!), Wednesday's lunch, transit, plans, last night's carnival, leftover candy, what we did yesterday after the carnival, tonight's dinner, and more. Jon said that Eric wasn't going to the dinner, which I figured might be the case... it was fine, though! (good thing Mr. Creep stayed away from the kids and me)

Eventually, I went upstairs to the toddler room, to find Alan and Margaret there - and a new kid with his parents, I think. It was pretty crowded, but we seemed to manage fine. I was visibly not as well-prepared as I might have been (thanks to those Thursday phone calls and such), but it seemed to be okay, Gave the kids some Tootsie Rolls - it seems that the twins are talking to me a bit more now. Conor was easily impressed with my story of giants as tall as the room - he'd be scared for sure! Went downstairs after things had ended, and talked to Dianne / Cindy / Christon / Jon / Harmony / Jen / Jeremy about the iCafe vs. dim sum. I decided to go with my parents and Alan and Polly to the usual place: I wasn't really surprised when I heard that they'd been there yesterday for lunch, heh. Dad thought I'd run away again on the Skytrain, but I didn't - this past Friday was good, at least. Talked about Netspeak / text message speak (UGH), Mama's Chinese Kitchen being BAD, and other stuff too.

After having to wait a long time for some food that was forgotten about since the kitchen was busy, I used Mom's phone (which was Jon's) to call my brother to figure out what was going on. As I told him, I went to Kingsgate Mall first and THEN to Jeremy's to make sure he'd be home. I checked out Buy-Low and scored at least six or seven packages of 50% off candy: wine gums, two mixes, Hershey's, Smarties, Coffee Crisp, Butterfinger, and Smarties. Also got soy sauce, some root beer-flavored green tea (which was unfortunately DECAF), and some nut-raisin mix. Went to Jeremy's - Christon said he'd gotten there a few minutes before I had. Discussed candy, alcohol, "essence," recipes, church stuff, Sarah giving Sam a durian, the box of salt in Jeremy's bathroom, Jeremy's "envelope collage" of Nathan's email, butter, Bathroom Readers, onions, squash, pork chops, apples, ingredients, and more. Jon and Harmony are here now, and Connie says she'll come later - good. If Christon ever invites a certain person to these things, I'm gonna puke! :P (Jeremy came in here and asked about that email where I said I wasn't coming - apparently had him concerned, so I told him exactly what was up!)

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