Saturday, January 06, 2007

Finished November 2004 tagging! / Calendar thanks / Masturbation and the inventor of cornflakes

Hey, I'm listening to the Cure's 10:15 Saturday Night AT 10:15 on a Saturday night! What a quirky coincidence - YAY! :D

As it turned out, Henry did NOT pick me up today. I assume he's either sick OR he forgot. I'll figure it out tomorrow, as I just told my sister. She thinks I should have called someone to let them know, but I'll figure it out tomorrow. Speaking about tomorrow, 9:15 it is, although she'll call me when she leaves since Jon and Dad have to be at church EARLY for the installation services! She also asked me whether I had a birthday card for Rachel since she'll see her on Monday before she leaves on Tuesday: I told her that I didn't, but I just remembered my spares! The one with thongs will do even if it's a bit scandalous, haha. (maybe I can get Jon to sign too, sometime tomorrow) With this unexpected time off, I was able to finish tagging all the November 2004 RQ posts in only a couple of days, since I finished the October 2004 posts on the 4th. :D (and I'm going through the entries to bulk up the memories!)

Yikes. A certain person just emailed me to thank me for the calendar. Says he wouldn't actually put it in his bathroom, and included weird Google Image Search photos to go along with the email. A bare-bottomed cherub falling asleep on the counter next to a toilet, and a mouse / rat / hamster falling asleep in a plate of nuts... interesting alarm clocks, haha. "As you can tell, I love to sleep"... so does everyone else, dude. Ah well, I'm replying to say I write too much and that'll be it! (see if I talk to HIM tomorrow! :P)

Today's Self-Pleasuring Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Like many Christian conservatives before and since, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (of Kellogg's Corn Flakes fame) believed that masturbation, and in fact all sexual excess, was sinful -- "sexual excess" here defined as "sex for anything beyond reproduction." In Plain Facts for Old and Young, he advised that the first line of defense was keeping children busy and constantly under surveillance -- that is, working them daily to the point of exhaustion. The vigilant parent must especially be aware of a child's goings on in the bathtub, on the toilet, or in bed, for solitude was a temptation to vice.

Furthermore, all parents were urged to watch for such tell-tale "symptoms" of masturbation as bad posture (slumped shoulders), a fear of the opposite sex, and hanging out in groups with other children of the same gender. Stiffness in the hips in boys or a wiggly walk in girls were also clues. Also a child who suddenly became more bold -- or worse, more timid -- was surely a masturbator as well.

To stop these hideous acts of depravity, Kellogg strongly advocated circumcision of young boys (note that, up until this era, most non-Jewish American boys were not circumcised), stating that the operation should be done without anesthesia because the remembered pain (and the soreness which followed for several weeks) would serve as a lasting reminder deterring the child from rummaging.

Another deterrent recommended by Kellogg was to wire a boy’s foreskin together at the tip such that any mere erection would become very painful. The wire was of course to be attached by piercing the foreskin with a needle, with the wire following along in place of thread. For the multitude of American males who do not (thanks to Kellogg and his ilk) have a foreskin, it may be worth mentioning that the foreskin is considered to be much more sensitive to pain and pleasure than the bald penis you may currently own.

But Kellogg did not single out only boys for torment -- perish the thought! Girls too must be prevented from self-pleasuring, at all costs. For girls, Kellogg recommended that application of carbolic acid directly to the clitoris. This was "an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement, and preventing the recurrence of the practice in those whose will-power has become so weakened that the patient is unable to exercise entire self-control."

Of course, now medical doctors know that carbolic acid is extremely poisonous. When applied to the tissues, and when applied directly to muscle or nerve, it causes instant paralysis. Nonetheless, if carbolic acid did not do the trick, Kellogg reasoned it was necessary to surgically remove the clitoris. He cites one such surgery he performed at the request of the girl's father. Sure that his 10-year-old would go to hell for her sinful indulgence, the father had resolved he would rather take her out in the wilderness and leave her to die rather than have her infect the minds of her siblings with her evil ways. Kellogg and cliterodectomy were her only hope for continued life and salvation. The good doctor happily obliged.

Culled from: Rotten.Com
Generously suggested by: Megan


Of course I had to run out and purchase Plain Facts for Old and Young immediately - and it is, as they say in the midwest, a HOOT! Who would have guessed that simple old Corn Flakes sprang from the mind of someone so deranged? The book is available to read online from the University of Virginia Library. And you can also download it for free as an e-book from the Gutenberg Project:

It's well worth a read!



Steve O. forwards the following:

Three Pedestrians Hit by Car

The scene was all caught on tape. In video from the Fiesta Latina Market, you can see the 30 year-old woman and her two children, ages four and 12, as they were struck by the car while they crossed the street. The driver of the vehicle was identified as Guadalupe Lopez, 79. Investigators said she and her 39-year-old daughter were pulling into the market when she lost control of the car Tuesday morning.

Lopez left the scene of the accident, but turned herself in to authorities a short time later. Sgt. Joe McDonald of the Kern County Sheriff's Department says, "At this time, the investigation has revealed that Guadalupe is unlicensed. We haven't determined why she was driving yet." The mother and her children survived. They were taken by ambulance to area hospitals with fractures and non-life threatening injuries. Lopez is under investigation for leaving the scene of an accident and driving without a license.

Looking at the footage, it's amazing the mother and the children survived!


Wretched Recommendations!

Jenn has a film recommendation:

"I've got a movie I'd like to recommend for those of us sick enough to stomach it. It's called I'll Bury You Tomorrow, and although it's B-List and full of unattractive and unknown actors / actresses, it's perfect if you're a twisted mind such as myself. Murder, mayhem, blood, guts, and a little necrophilia all make this movie go round. Check it out. :D"

I'll Bury You Tomorrow (2002)

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Swimming in pools of bubble tea / I am NOT Florida!

Spoz has a Radiohead takeoff in his blog... interesting photos!

MSN conversation is giving me too many funny things to blog, like this recent conversation with Jamie (jaebird):

[13:43:20] Chibeh Jamieh: Hey!
[13:43:27] Chibeh Jamieh: would you swim in a pool of bubble tea?
[13:45:19] Flami: Stop calling me, Florida!: interesting question... we'd be more likely to drink it here... but I guess it would be an experience
[13:46:08] Chibeh Jamieh: ..
[13:46:14] Chibeh Jamieh: a question would be then
[13:46:19] Chibeh Jamieh: would you drink it after swimming in it
[13:46:21] Chibeh Jamieh: Ooh
[13:46:22] Chibeh Jamieh: or
[13:46:26] Chibeh Jamieh: you could sell it after swimming in it
[13:46:33] Chibeh Jamieh: to unsuspecting victims
[13:49:47] Flami: hahaha, where do you come up with this stuff?
[13:49:56] Chibeh Jamieh: :D I'm tired
[13:50:02] Chibeh Jamieh: it comes easy about then
[13:50:03] Chibeh Jamieh: plus
[13:50:10] Chibeh Jamieh: I won't remember it in a few minutes
[13:50:24] Chibeh Jamieh: but ten to one, I'll end up dreaming about drowning in a food of some sort
[13:52:08] Flami: oh dear... maybe that is true...
[13:52:36] Chibeh Jamieh: as long as I don't try to eat my way out
[13:52:36] Chibeh Jamieh: I'm good
[13:52:37] Chibeh Jamieh: Oh
[13:52:37] Chibeh Jamieh: and if I wake up before I drown
[13:53:09] Chibeh Jamieh: hey, have you seen Finding Nemo?
[13:55:01] Flami: haha, true
[13:55:02] Flami: no
[13:55:13] Chibeh Jamieh: darn
[13:55:22] Chibeh Jamieh: I'm trying to remember the name of the forgetful fish
[13:55:33] Chibeh Jamieh: which is slightly ironic
[13:57:05] Flami: heh, it is...
[13:57:36] Flami: "swimming in bubble tea"... haha, that would make a good blog entry.. or part of one
[13:57:53] Chibeh Jamieh: :D
[13:57:58] Chibeh Jamieh: ...
[13:58:02] Chibeh Jamieh: you might not want to have
[13:58:05] Chibeh Jamieh: tapioca ball things
[13:58:07] Chibeh Jamieh: though in it
[14:05:39] Flami: haha, why not?
[14:07:11] Chibeh Jamieh: I have a feeling it may worry people
[14:07:13] Chibeh Jamieh: they look odd enough floating by
[14:07:21] Chibeh Jamieh: you don't need people thinking they just saw an eyeball
[14:07:23] Chibeh Jamieh: or something worse
[14:10:23] Flami: haha, they don't really look like eyeballs... although my sister's boss seems to think they look slithery
[14:15:34] Chibeh Jamieh: jah
[14:15:36] Chibeh Jamieh: like slithery snake eyeballs
[14:16:57] Chibeh Jamieh: anyway
[14:16:57] Chibeh Jamieh: night night
[14:16:57] Chibeh Jamieh: off to sleepy land
[14:17:02] Flami: maybe
[14:17:15] Flami: I am so blogging this BBT convo, haha
[14:17:21] Chibeh Jamieh: :D
[14:17:28] Chibeh Jamieh: Everyone will love my idea
[14:17:35] Chibeh Jamieh: there will be bubble tea bath fests
[14:17:36] Chibeh Jamieh: all the time
[14:18:33] Flami: haha

Also, Eric just popped on to call me "Florida." Uh... I am SO not answering (to) that! He knows that is NOT what I mean in my MSN name because there's a COMMA between "me" and "Florida"... if he doesn't, then I don't know what I'd do! (besides jokingly killing him, of course...) Oh good, he's offline now. Good thing too, as I have to leave!

You Are 40% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

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My dream self paid $5 back to your dream self so it's all good.. not!

I just dreamed that Jeremy was driving a bunch of us around somewhere around the church. There was this kid who was the long-lost son of a local sportswriter, and he was obsessed with arranging the Vancouver Sun, Richmond News, and Richmond Review in order of the best sports headlines and THEN the news / photos. Then we all went to a cafeteria to eat: my brother, the kid, and I paid for our food with a lot of toonies and assorted change. My dream self paid Jeremy back his $5, and he said "yup" in response. Hmm... I wonder if that means my real-life debt is paid off? Hahaha, probably not. I can just imagine the look he'll give me or what he'll think if I have this to say to him tomorrow: "Hey, Jer... you know that $5 I owed you for the Whip beer? It's been paid off since I dreamed of giving it to you! Right?" Haha, no... I won't do that! (I know I have a lot of change from Thursday's mall excursion in my jacket pocket, which MAY have triggered this one... I plan to figure that out this afternoon when I'm doing stuff with the Awana dues money!)

Also checked blogs: Steph and Vivian both have 2007 surveys up (the same ones I did before), Dave showed Tiffany around Vancouver, and Dawn's still in Hong Kong till February. Certain reasons she has for going back (New Year's!) won't fly with parental units, and she won't really bring it up anyway since they're debating about her job and relationship already... NOT a good idea! At least Eni is coming to see her in the near future... she also has a few photos up of Chinese estate interiors / her grandpa, and a hilarious conversation where she continually asks her brother what else the Hong Kong-China ferry has to offer in the way of snacks. (final line: "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THIS IS A FERRY... NOT A BUFFET!") Haha, good times, I'm sure!

Just checked my Yahoo account because my sister said she emailed something to me on there. Her work account only has that email for me, and not the Gmail one... oh well. Here it is... Mom can't spell "Flime," haha. I can't decide whether that's worse than her not being able to pronounce "Sarne," heh. (Jeremy thought that quite funny at the Yaletown Brewery, haha) Also according to her email, Mom thinks there is such a thing as "tape water" for wonton wrapping / noodle-making. Uh, sure... o_O

Jon just called and he said Eric not going to fellowship tonight and Sam will not be going home either. I talked daddy into taking bus home with frame's bus pass and your cell phone at 7:00 pm tonight and I will pick him up at airport station.

I don't think Jon is a frame, no... and apparently, Dad bused to the mall without a cell phone. Lovely. :P

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6-0 after Christmas / KFC Southern Spoon Bread

Hey, we heard on the radio that the Canucks won 3-2 in overtime against the Edmonton Oilers tonight! Yay for being 6-0 after Christmas!

KFC Southern Spoon Bread

3 cups milk
1 teaspoon salt
1 Tablespoon sugar
1 1/4 cups cornmeal
3 eggs
1 Tablespoon baking powder
2 Tablespoons cold water
2 Tablespoons butter

Preheat oven to 400ºF. Heat milk, salt, and sugar in a pan to a moderate temperature. Add cornmeal and cook as mush (about 5 minutes). Beat together eggs, baking powder, water, and butter. Add to cornmeal mixture. Pour into buttered 1 1/2 quart baking dish. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

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Friday, January 05, 2007

You WISH we could keep the Christmas tree up all year round! :P

Note: LJ destiny in life / what my LJ friends really think / LJ friend wanting to pee on me / LJ Hogwarts years blogquizzes. (by Sophia, Ichigo, Matt, and Penny)

Oh yay... Talia's back under a new name. (the person who was turning into Chris Sykes) Ah well, I'll keep an open mind on this for now!

This is a link from my Cool Tricks and Trinkets newsletter. A bunch of us (including underage Stanley :P) were talking about beer, wine, (peaty) Scotch, port, sherry, Merlot, cigars, and other such expensive stuff after Bible Study... I told Jon that I had to email him and Jeremy this site, hehe. Jen saw something about a cask night or something which made her think of them: they're going tomorrow night, haha. Why am I not surprised? Jon then invited Jeremy to the Wal-Mart documentary night: he can't go since it's poker night at his place! (Eric M. should be coming, and maybe Jen will too...) Speaking of Jeremy, I *still* haven't paid him his $5 back, and I've seen him like, what... three times since then?! Ugh. Terrible organization... but on Sunday, I will DEFINITELY do so! (we'll probably be sitting by each other in service unless he sits by Eric or does drumming duties...)

Beerasia: If you are fascinated by beer, or Asian culture, or both, you will want to bookmark this cool site. Beer Asia is a fun blog that features reviews and info on pretty much every beer produced throughout Asia. Discover the wide variety of beers from the Orient, find out about popular "wannabe" brews to avoid, and learn about the most popular beers in smaller countries such as Malaysia, Cambodia, Burma, and Laos. Visitors who read the section on "The Top 10 Beers in Asia" will be tempted to get on a plane, fly halfway around the world, and have a cold one. Cheers!

Sam picked me up at about 7:15 - we talked about New Year's (his parents actually did something and went to J-Mak's house!), and I agree with him that 12 midnight is too early to go to bed unless you have to. He's still sick after a few days, but figures it's from being out at night with friends: he can be sick during school, but might as well take advantage of the holidays! Then he asked if I'd heard about the snow today: nope! Apparently, it snowed today and HE didn't even know till his dad got home and told him to be careful driving to Fellowship! I've had days where I don't really look out the window till hours after getting up, so I understand that. We discussed BC Place - he'd seen headlines on the news, but no video. When we got to church, he asked if I'd like to go in through the back door (NOT IN THAT WAY, YOU PERVERTS!)... sure, it was better than walking through all the wet slushy conditions from the back parking lot to the front door!

Peeked in the kitchen on my way upstairs: Jon was talking to Vanessa while Jeremy was sitting in front of the sink. Apparently, he hadn't gotten soaked all day till just then; later, he was warming up his socks by sitting in front of a heat fan. Hopefully, that worked! Asked Jon how we were getting home since he'd also asked Sam for a ride home: he had the car since our dad bused home, thank goodness! (Steph thanked him for that later, but he didn't really say anything in return... just a grunt!) Said hi to the two Jasons and others before going upstairs. Frances wished me a happy new year, and wondered how I'd gotten there tonight: Sam, whom she didn't really know. After Randal was done talking to Martin and his friend Raymond about stuff, I gave him the ladybug stickers and the calendar: yes, he can now sit on the toilet and not have to wonder about what day it happens to be, haha. I'd taped the envelope up really well, but he managed to open it carefully as is his wont. Heh... he says he'll read the card later, which is fine with me: I wrote a lot in there for some reason. :P I guess he seemed to like it: maybe I'll connect with him on Sunday and ask. Or there's always email, I suppose... dunno why I don't want to do THAT, though! (even worse: calling him and sounding stupid!)

Our group went to the attic to do Bible Study: I haven't been up there in AGES! The two rooms are now converted into offices, and Jon has the key to the doors! Karen popped in with a huge bowl of popcorn, while Dylan brought up our plate of green / red grapes. Nobody really ate any of the popcorn, but we did eat half of the grapes. I offered Candy Cane Roca to Jen and Jon, but they couldn't have sugar! (Jon's sick, and Jen had this infection eat away her bacteria - including the good sort) Jeremy was also coming down with something, so I thought it prudent to NOT offer him any... maybe I'll offer it tomorrow to the leaders. (not the kids, haha) Jon said that his new Gmail address isn't a permanent change, since he'll still be using his Hotmail address: fair enough!

Went downstairs and talked to Billy, Karen Choo, and others about the expensive stuff mentioned above. Stanley came in and contributed something about cigarette papers, and then Jeremy told us that he'd heard of these cigars that took an hour and a half to smoke because of all the nicotine in them! It would be lethal to have all that nicotine at once if you injected it! Just puff on them and not inhale them, or else! Karen So came in a while later just off work, and said that it would be nice if she had sponsors for her wedding: it wouldn't cost so much otherwise! Chung thanked me for the cards and such: he didn't expect so many, but that's part of what I try doing for others, haha. Maisie wishes that the Christmas tree could be up all year, and asked Pastor Edward about it: not a good idea, heh. Billy, Randal, Karen, and others took it down tonight, though.

Jon was busy talking to Harmony on the phone, so I went to the basement where they were just wrapping up wonton mein. Steph says she, Pat, Citrus, Danielle, and others are going snowboarding on the 19th... AKA yet another ping-pong night which I will NOT go to this time unless someone can give me a damned good reason why I should! She said that the man should serve the woman, so I shouldn't have to drag Jon's stuff upstairs for him: true, but what can you do? We ended up driving Joyce home (Quan went with Citrus and Cordia) after Steph bugged Cordia about her "MENTAL" dragon hat and 24. The wind was CRAZY tonight: we saw insane-looking trees, one traffic light hanging by a thread, and another traffic light that looked as if it was just going to DROP! (but once we passed a certain area, they seemed to be bolted down better... I heard there are more power outages in the Lower Mainland too!)

I told Steph about the FANTASTIC birthday cards I'd found for our parents involving farts and butt tattoos (she and Jon have to see them sometime in the next few months), and we told Joyce about our mom's many English lapses! ("nice rack" is NOT anything to do with poo, "tentacles" are NOT "testicles," "making out" is not hugging, etc.) Joyce laughed and laughed... she figured her mom wouldn't know about some stuff either. Ours just always disbelieves stuff, and thinks we're making it up! After we dropped her off, Steph invited me to lunch with Vivian S. tomorrow: I'm not going since Henry IS picking me up, and I don't want to be dropped off way early afterwards! Yeah, I got her email about the new James Bond movie on Tuesday: eh, why not.... Now that it's relatively early and no one is really online, I can perhaps go to bed. Hopefully, I'll sleep before 4 too! (I need to do this...)

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What I gave for Christmas 2006

I hope a certain person reacts favorably to a certain gift, haha.

Most of this list is along the lines of Christmas cards received / postcards... there might be some gems hidden within! ;)

What I gave for Christmas 2006

lots of cards and stuff for my real-life friends (Jeremy, Denise / Brian / Julie, Nathan, Nina, Randal, Eric M., Eric H., Mike T., Daniel and Michelle, Vania, Ivan and Karen, etc.)

Randal - Uncle John's Unstoppable Bathroom Reader #16 page-a-day calendar, ladybug stickers, and friendship card with more stickers

Harmony - VCEFC card (me and Steph)

Auntie Esther (Chris T.'s mom) - Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader #19

various holiday_wishes people - birthday wishes, links to cool dragon stuff, animated icons, virtual snow

Holly Wheeler (tribute_mutant) - Christmas card, Vancouver postcard, and lots of pencils

Brynn Kennedy (irishvampire13) - ghost story / book recommendations

Kristin Bren. (wyldkyss) - Christmas card, birthday card, and Vancouver postcard

Julie Ste. (julie709) - Christmas card

Sandra (thepooloftears) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Yolande House (soleta_nf) - Christmas card

Amber Kosarick (randomlancila) - Christmas card

Maryann Storey - Christmas card

Charlotte G.-C. (charshark) - Christmas card

Natalie (chibi_blackie) - Christmas card

Teunis P. - Christmas card

Shannon Sau. (tearfulgoodbyes) - Christmas card

Jamie Re. (corporatebeach) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Kaitlin Ol. (norsk) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Danielle (gabizoidal) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Janina Schm. (mrshannibal) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Billy, Trisha, and Marilynn Schm. (fdolarhyde13, blindedxheart, _angel_of_nite_) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Kitty Bas. (bornwitch) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Shandra Tor. (pesha) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Matt Ki. (jarethshair) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Erin Mor. (dazed_mint) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Deborah Goldman (depine1pssets) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Amy Ger. (twirlybird73) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Lyndsey Nic. (fenellaevangela) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Danielle Rich. (miss_watson) - Christmas card, Vancouver postcard, and ladybug stickers

Holly Whe. (tribute_mutant) - Christmas card, Vancouver postcard, and pencils

Sheryll Townsend (sheryll) - Christmas card and coffee bookmark (I couldn't find a Harry Potter bookmark in the store, so she'll have to make do with that one!)

Nyssa Everett (giggles_19) - Christmas card and chocolate bookmark (I couldn't find a Harry Potter bookmark in the store, so she'll have to make do with that one!)

Evan (layingonguitars) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Dewitta (doublu) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Farrah Fong (lilaznffairy421) - Christmas card and scrapbook letter stickers

Corey Tap. (dwcorey) - Christmas / blank cards, ginseng / salmon souvenirs, rocks, word searches

John Abbott (snooooopy) - Christmas card, Canucks toque / mittens

Taru Rouvinen (tarutar) - Christmas card, Vancouver postcard, strawberry crush / chocolate Pocky

Frane Kalanj (bodha [Savina]'s uncle) - four Vancouver postcards

Denise Morris (rostand) - Christmas card

Kadri K. (bad_habit) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Dewitta (doublu) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Candy - Christmas card

Melissa (misssims82) - Christmas card

Jenessa Serna (cuteapple) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Kelli Ellis (neonrose5) - Christmas card

Samara Mondor (mystic_notions) - Christmas card

Taru Tamminen (sinnarn) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Saara Leppänen (sinnarn's friend) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Amy Capuano (letmypidgeonsgo) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Ana Coil (glamourcorpse) - Christmas card

Sarah Georg. (Tonks) - Christmas card

Jim and Catherine (harryroberts / geordiecat76) - Christmas card

Jennifer Lum. (tehgreenfairy) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Steve and Carol - Christmas card

Aydin (tiogardubh) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Marie - Christmas card

Sarah Rowlett - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Sara W. (sparkle_bint) - Christmas card

Chris H. (dingo727) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

Katya (katzk) - Christmas card and Vancouver postcard

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Pooping in laundry?! / Florida calls / BC Place roof collapses / Quizzes

Okay, what the heck is wrong with my subconscious?! I don't want to know why I dreamed (among other things) that I was taking all my poops in a huge overflowing laundry basket!!! Ugh. o_O

Today, I got up really late. I'd better not wake up at that time tomorrow, otherwise I'll be running late all afternoon.. ugh! I checked my phone, and discovered that someone from Florida had called me! Whose phone number is 407-111-1110, anyhow?! Also heard that BC Place's roof had collapsed... yikes, haha. (the world's largest whoopee cushion, heh!) Guess it's all the wind out there, which causes power outages and such. Lots of flooding too, apparently... who knows. At least it's not here, haha.

Jon called me within 15 minutes of my waking up, saying that Eric wasn't feeling well and that I'd have to find my own way to Fellowship tonight. Maybe I'll call Sam since I guess the kiddies are still out of school for now... Jon's in Vancouver and Steph goes to church from work, so I'm basically pretty much screwed. (haha... I could take the bus, but don't really feel like it!) Sam says he can give me a ride there, but not back since he's going to Joey's house later. That sounds fine as long as he calls me between 6:45 and 7! :D

You Probably Look Younger Than Your Age

You live a healthy lifestyle and know how to take care of yourself.
You'll probably have a youthful glow for many years.

That's what a lot of people say! :D (Harmony, Auntie Fonda, Auntie Tracy, etc.)

Your Personality is 49% Addictive

You may have an addictive personality, but you have it mostly under check.
Just don't start any new bad habits, okay?

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KFC Refrigerator Rolls / Supervillains / Quiz Heaven stuff

KFC Refrigerator Rolls

1 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
1 cup mashed potatoes
1 quart milk
1 cake yeast
10 to 12 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder

Preheat oven to 400ºF. Cream shortening and sugar until light and fluffy. Add potatoes and cream again. In separate pot, heat milk to lukewarm and dissolve yeast. Pour milk mixture into shortening, sugar and potatoes. Add enough flour (about 4 cups) to make like cake dough consistency. Stir in salt. Cover. Let rise 2 hours. Stir in balance of flour (about 6 to 7 cups), baking soda, and baking powder to make like biscuit dough. Knead. Cover and refrigerate 1/2 hour, make into rolls. Let rise until double in size. Bake about 15-20 minutes. Refrigerate and use over 5 or 6 days. Makes 24 rolls.

Your results:
You are Dr. Doom
Dr. Doom
Lex Luthor
The Joker
Mr. Freeze
Dark Phoenix
Poison Ivy
Green Goblin
Blessed with smarts and power, but burdened by vanity.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...

What's the worst thing that could happen?

Setting up a blind date on MySpace... that turns out to be your own lover!
Take this quiz at

I've heard of that happening... not good!

You are a
pair of flip-flops... free to be kicked off in a instant, bare feet sinking into wet sand on the beach... you demand space.
Take this quiz at

What's your role on the last day of the world?

Lone survivor, poor lonely you...
Take this quiz at

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

Wal-Mart documentary / Stowing away on planes / TITANIC song / Creepy kittens

Jon sent a bunch of us an email: he's got this Wal-Mart documentary from the Richmond Public Library. Walmart: the High Cost of Low Price is supposed to be really interesting, and reveals just how Wal Mart can price its products so cheaply... he's hoping to watch it this Sunday. Sounds like something I'd be up for... man, I've watched a lot of those documentaries lately, but it's all good!

What the... Toronto just beat Boston 10-2?! Holy crud... o_O

Today's Ripped Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

The body of an apparent stowaway was ripped in half during flight Tuesday and his leg crashed into a suburban neighborhood, where a homeowner found the severed limb in the middle of her lawn, authorities said. Pam Hearne heard "a loud crash" and later was stunned to see a foot clad in an Adidas sneaker and a sock in her yard, said Officer Thomas Blanchard. The leg, with hip and spine attached, dented the shingled roof of her garage before bouncing into the lawn. Police suspect the remains are from a stowaway who may have been crushed as the South African Airways jet lowered its landing gear on its approach to Kennedy Airport. Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Jim Peters said the pilot of flight 203 would have probably started lowering the plane's landing gear in the sky over the home in Floral Park, about 5 miles from the airport. Peters said a Customs agent that met the flight at the airport found another leg hanging from the wheel well. The airline said in a statement that the flight landed with "no impact" on the passengers and crew, and it was working closely with authorities to investigate how someone may have stowed away. The flight originated in Johannesburg, and made one stop in Senegal. Authorities had not identified the remains, which were hauled away from Hearne's yard in a plastic bag. Hearne, a special education teacher, said that when she first saw the leg in the grass, "it didn't look real." "But I am very glad that I live where I do," she said, "so I don't have to run for my life like this man probably was doing."

Culled from: USATODAY.Com
Generously submitted by: Patina


No, but you do have to run for your life to avoid falling legs!!

Thanks to everyone who sent in entries for the Morbid Caption Contest. The response was better than I'd dreamed: Over 100 entries! I'm going through them and will share the results in a few days. Good luck!


Morbid Lyrics Du Jour!

Marco submits the following for morbid consideration:

"There's an old happy / funny / sarcastic folksong about the sinking of the Titanic. Here are the words, though the way it's sung is what makes it funny. It's all lilting and sprightly, especially the part about husbands and wives and little children. And everyone in the audience wails and laughs, 'SO SAD!' and 'TOO BAD!' And it requires banjos and kazoos."

The Titanic

Oh they built the ship Titanic to sail the ocean blue
And they thought they had a ship that the water would never go through,
but the gentle Lord raised up his hands
And he said that ship would never land.
It was sad when the great ship went down.

Oh it was sad (SO SAD!)
Oh it was sad (TOO BAD!)
It was sad when
The great ship went down.
(To the bottom of the sea) (Husbands and wives, little children lost their lives)
It was sad when the great ship went down.

Now they sailed away from England, and were almost to the shore
When the bloody snooty rich refused to associate with the poor.
So they locked them in the hay, where they could never get away...
It was sad when the great ship went down.


They lowered a few life boats on a glassy eerie sea
And the band stayed on the deck playing Nearer My God To Thee...
While some were homeward bound,
Sixteen hundred had to drown.
It was sad when the great ship went down.


Kaplunk, it sunk. What a brilliant piece of junk.
It was sad when the great ship went down.


Morbid Link Du Jour!

Shauna sends a link: "Here are some very creepy kitties... I want one!!!" So say we all, Shauna. So say we all.

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Stickers, sushi, and cards it is!

Marie (reebee) got my Christmas card today... sweet! :D She didn't expect me to send her one, but I'm just returning the favor even though my card was nowhere near as nice as hers was! (very basic... no glitter or such things!)

I spent a little more money than I perhaps should have on birthday cards today, but I saw cards that I couldn't resist! Dylan has a special 30th birthday card, and Billie has one with Elvis on it - that's fitting since her birthday is the same day as the King's. My dad has one with something about farts / poop, and my mom has one with something about a butt tattoo! HAHAHAHA, I figure they'll be horrified / amused by those! I had the hardest time choosing one for Harmony's birthday in March, but settled on a suitable one: also found a bookmark with the word "Harmony" on it, so included that with hers too! (and one quasi-religious sticker with the same word in a set including Bible verses... same rationale as the Harmony Bear from my mom / Jon, haha!) Since I figure Benny isn't coming back here anytime soon, I now have two more spare birthday cards - good thing I didn't write anything on those envelopes / in those cards that can't be easily solved by whiteout! ;)

I forgot to mail my letters out today, but maybe next time.. I still have to get another #19 Bathroom Reader for myself, after all. Speaking of books, I also got Billie's birthday present: Outlander and Dragonfly in Amber with two bookmarks for them, which are both very good books. (last copy of the first, and they didn't have the third book of the series in store... good thing for my wallet!) Also got some three cheap postcards and Advil equivalent since I'm all about saving money where I can, haha. This explains why I did NOT get any of the remaining on-sale chocolate today! Got some honeydew bubble tea from Tazza, and settled on a dynamite roll combo from the sushi place in the mall for dinner. It's currently chilling in the fridge, ready for whenever I decide to eat nutritious food. :D

I love my sticker choice. What would I do without friends and color? :D

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Painting it green, not black / Cards and books

I'd go out to buy stickers / postcards / presents / birthday cards and mail something, but I can't do that now. Someone is painting my door in green! R.I.P., blue door... maybe I'll go out later. Good thing the mall is open late!

I got a holiday card from Aydin (tiogardubh) today, which features her original art / drawings! Very cool. Hey, this book from Randal is pretty easy to read... I must NOT skip ahead, though. It just features short concise messages from Eugene Peterson's various books, which is perfect for me! How nice of him! (like I didn't say so to him before, haha)

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Rectangle is weird! / Quiz Heaven quizzes / Finishing three items on the same day / KFC Puffy Meat Patties

Rectangle on LJ... they have a REALLY weird blog!

Hmm. I finished my shampoo, conditioner, AND body wash on the same day. That has never happened before... and isn't likely to happen in the future, but you never know! Must go to the mall tomorrow.. not to replace these items since I have spares, but to buy / mail some stuff I had in mind. I've also just finished tagging the October 2004 GJ RQ entries, so yay for being productive! (also in the Richmond Crew sense... that Knorr vegetable soup does wonderful things for you! :P)

... and the truth is...
Your soulmate is Max, a laid-back guy who will make you laugh.
Take this quiz at

What's the worst thing that could happen?

Setting up a blind date on MySpace... that turns out to be your own lover!
Take this quiz at

I've heard of that happening... not good!

You are a
pair of flip-flops... free to be kicked off in a instant, bare feet sinking into wet sand on the beach... you demand space.
Take this quiz at

What's your role on the last day of the world?

Lone survivor, poor lonely you...
Take this quiz at

KFC Puffy Meat Patties

3 egg yolks
8 ounces ground beef
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 Tablespoon (more or less) minced parsley
1 small onion grated or finely chopped
3 egg whites, beaten until soft peaks form
vegetable shortening or oil

Beat yolks until they are lemon-colored. Add the ground beef, salt, baking powder, pepper, parsley, and onion. Mix thoroughly. Last, fold in the stiffly beaten egg whites and blend gently. In a 10-inch skillet, heat about 1/8 inch of shortening until hot. Spoon heaping teaspoons of the meat mixture into medium heat skillet. Let cook about 2 minutes on each side -- do not turn meat until browned on first side (cook to 165ºF internal temperature). Serve as soon as done with potatoes, vegetables, or as desired. Serves 4 to 6.

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Hockey improvement, Biblical books (sorta?), earthquakes / trauma / bombing

Hey, the Canucks just beat Dallas 2-1 in a shootout! That means we're 5-0 after Christmas, which is a definite improvement on what our standings were earlier in the season! (we beat Calgary the other day, too... for the third time in a row, haha) The Canadians just beat the US in the World Juniors, too... we play Russia in the final on Friday! :D

I should really start on reading the books Nathan and Randal gave me for my birthday. Actually, I'd made a note to myself that I should read the one that Randal gave me especially, since God's Message for Each Day: Wisdom from the Word of God was dated and all. Here it is the third day of the new year, and I still haven't done that yet! I've flipped through it, but that doesn't really count... I think I need to do SOME Bible Study too, though I'm not sure what to do. (Chapter 2 or bust?) Eh well, maybe later tonight or something... although it could be argued that I need to read up more on the Bible in general. For some reason, my conversation tonight with Corey has focused on the Tower of Babel and Daniel in the lions' den / furnace! Maybe it's because I told him that Olde Charlie Farquharson's Testament: Perry Sound Version is hilarious, heh. (that's the book Nathan gave me!)

Today's Badly Burned Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

An earthquake leveled the city of Calabria, Italy and more than 180 towns in the area around it on February 4, 1783. Huge fissures opened up in the earth, some of them 225 feet deep and 150 feet wide. Many people and livestock were swallowed up by these great chasms, from which powerful geysers of boiling water soon began spewing. Incredibly, the water lifted out some of those trapped in the fissures, a few of them still alive. Though badly burned, some of these lucky souls actually survived the quake.

Elsewhere, rivers and streams dammed up by debris created a wave of mud seventy yards wide and fifteen feet deep that flooded the town of Scilla. Fires broke out in the ruined cities and towns, and aftershocks plagued the area. The earthquake killed some 30,000 outright, while 20,000 to 30,000 others died as a result of the aftershocks and the famine that followed.

Culled from: The Pessimist's Guide To History


It's a Plethora Of Viscera!!!

At the request of Magnoire on the MFDJ Discussion Group, I have added the "Real Friends Help Friends Move Bodies" shirt that I introduced a couple of days ago onto additional merchandise, including mugs, magnets, stickers, and more.

I also expanded my Café Press shop (which also has a changed URL) to include several more items, including a set of merchandise dedicated to one of my all-time favorite MFDJ quotes - from this November 17, 2002 fact:

"A Cambodian woman who murdered her husband by axing him repeatedly in the groin before running off with her son-in-law has been sentenced to 15 years in jail. But 35-year-old Chhoeun Sovann, from Kompong Thom province 100 km (60 miles) northeast of Phnom Penh, is not yet behind bars. Six years after the murder, prosecutors say they cannot find her. The verdict was handed down in absentia. In a case shocking even by Cambodian standards, Chhoeun Sovann set about battering her husband to death with the blunt end of an axe, the blows falling mainly on his groin. "She fell in love with her son-in-law, which was against her husband's wishes. Finally, she had to kill her husband so she could escape with her lover," female presiding judge Sim Samoeu told Reuters. "It is totally unacceptable in Cambodia that a wife should kill her husband by smashing his genitals," the judge said. "After hours of deliberation, I decided to punish her with 15 years in jail." She also awarded the victim's family compensation of two million riels ($500) -- nearly double the average Cambodian annual wage. Under Cambodia's notoriously erratic and ineffective judicial system, trials in absentia are relatively common, as are cases of convicted criminals enjoying their freedom for years after receiving hefty jail sentences."

Here's my silly version of the "Smashing Genitals" quote. If you forget the URLs to any of the stores, you can find them on the Plethora Of Viscera page at The Asylum Eclectica.

Proceeds from the sale of any items from either the Café Press store or the Juror2.Net Ebay Store go towards running the Asylum Eclectica website and the Morbid Fact Du Jour newsletter. As always, if you have suggestions for improvements or changes, please send them my way. Thank you!


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Joseph

"The date is October 23, 1983. I was stationed onboard the USS IWO JIMA, and it was early. At about 6:30, word is passed to prepared to receive incoming wounded. During the prior months, we started receiving almost daily announcements to prepare to receive incoming wounded, with one or two wounded Marines coming aboard. This day was different.

"At a few minutes before 7:00, I was called to the bridge and asked to direct the Navy contingent on a rescue effort, and to get 50 volunteers. I was then told that the Marine Barracks had been bombed. By 7:30, my volunteers and I were leaving the ship. The hangar bay was already filling up with wounded. My understanding is that later that morning, the entire hangar bay was filled.

"We arrived at the Beirut airport and immediately went to the barracks site, which was a converted office building. I believe it was about 6 stories, with an atrium in the center. Its interior was adorned with marble. The building was at one time by the Lebanese equivalent of the FAA.

"In the basement was a galley, where the morning crew was preparing breakfast. For the most part, officers were located on the first floor, and enlisted on the upper floors. The Marine Medical Staff was on the first floor.

"We arrived to find the building collapsed on itself. I rounded up all the Navy personnel and assigned them sectors. Marines were already on the building pulling out survivors, as were local civilians. We established a triage area for the wounded, and a morgue site for the bodies.

"There were constant orders for silence so people could listen for noise from the rubble. There was occasion when we were ordered to halt work because of sniper fire, although I do not remember hearing any fire. After pulling out as many survivors as possible, we moved in heavy equipment to lift falling debris. I will not describe the bodies as I knew many of the men who died, but it was heartbreaking to lift a slab of concrete, to find the remains of good men flattened until the weight of the building. With each slab removed, we found more of our friends killed.

"The men in the basement were all killed, with the brunt of the debris having crushed them. Some men on the first floor were never found, having been literally blown apart. I have personally never known so many people killed at one time, and I hope never to have to see it again. I can only imagine the horrors of Sept. 11."


Morbid Link Du Jour!

The Trauma Imagebank is a collection of fascinating trauma images - some gory, all interesting. Well worth a browse!

Link submitted by Borborygmy


You are Buffy! Smart, witty, and sometimes airheaded... but usually on top of things! Also very strong, physically and emotionally! +
Which Character from BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Are You the Most Like?

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Got my 2007 bus pass! / Noah's Nibbles dream

I got my bus pass in the mail, finally. Hope nothing untoward happens to this one... and if Jon tells Jeremy how I *really* lost the last one, I will kill him! There are some things he doesn't need to know... o_O

As usual, I had a weird dream involving going back to Eric's old house on a Priestley St. which was confused with a Bamberton neighborhood. (note: his old house was on a road that started with a C, I believe) Once I got there with some friends, we went to the backyard to say hello to the dog Puallu (now long dead in real life) Then we went to the shower and waited for a certain person to show up. When he did, he was doing a bunch of relationshippy things with some girl that he'd brought along. We convinced them to stop because someone was going to come and destroy us.

So everyone escaped through the shower drain (don't ask...) and suddenly found ourselves walking on 33rd Ave. in Vancouver! Then we went to a place called Noah's Nibbles (or Nachos) for some seafood. I could swear that I updated about the place in Blogger with a web link, so tried to search with the Blogspot function... no luck. Rebecca Blankenship and some other people (who looked like the kids in the FLESH AND BLOOD documentary) came up to us and convinced us to give a lot of money to their good causes. Then we convinced them to give us at least the same amount back for buying stuff from the GAP. Their cheques looked like receipts in receipt books, and one of them had the memo (scrawled in black pen) "$55 - LATE - GAP" for me. After having some burgers, the girl broke up with the certain person mentioned in the last paragraph... then he realized that I was much better than she. End of dream. :D

Very weird. Dunno what triggered it... thoughts of certain people, the FLESH AND BLOOD documentary, Noah being one of the people in the DISCORDIA documentary, searching for a lot of things in Blogger, etc. Weird stuff, that's for sure!

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Pictures of Megan, sexual catchphrase, KFC Potato Salad

Hey, Kenny and Winnie sent their annual letter out to their friends! Little Megan looks so cute in these photos!

Dear Friends:

Happy New Year from our family to yours!

Sorry for such a belated greeting; we definitely didn't get our act together for a Christmas greeting, but we hope you all had a wonderful Christmas spent with family and friends.

Megan is now almost 20 months old, and we cannot believe how quickly she is growing. We have included some pictures from the past few months. She has a full set of teeth. She is now running around. She loves dancing to music. She loves animals. She is acting like a little girl now; she has somehow learned adult "behaviour" very quickly – for example, she loves playing with a porcelain tea set her aunties gave her for Christmas. She quite enjoys "tea time" by herself; she is so much fun to watch. She played in the snow for the very first time. Megan also traveled with us to Montreal and Toronto and to Whistler.

We have also moved – AGAIN! (hopefully, this is the last move in a while). We moved in May 2006 and are enjoying our new home.

From all of us, we wish you all a blessed 2007.

Love from Kenny, Winnie, and Megan J

Megan with her parents at Christmas:

Megan pouring tea:

Megan with her teapot and teacup:

Megan with her teacup:

Megan on the stairs:

Megan in the snow:

Megan drinking tea:

Megan on the couch:

Megan with all the Christmas lights:

Megan in a green outfit:

Leslie's Sexual Catch-Phrase is...
"Take off, you hoser!"
'What is your sexual catchphrase?

KFC Potato Salad

Here's a simple clone for the potato salad that is purchased as a side dish from America's largest fast food chicken chain. Some of the skin is left on the potatoes in the real thing, so you don't have to peel them too thoroughly. Just be sure to chop your potatoes into cubes that are approximately 1/2-inch thick, and then let the salad marinate for at least 4 hours so that the flavors can properly develop. If you let the salad chill overnight, it tastes even better.

2 pounds russet potatoes
1 cup mayonnaise
4 teaspoons sweet pickle relish
4 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons minced white onion
2 teaspoons prepared mustard
1 teaspoon vinegar
1 teaspoon minced celery
1 teaspoon diced pimentos
1/2 teaspoon shredded carrot
1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper
dash salt

1. Lightly peel the potatoes (you don't have to get all the skin off) then chop them into bite-size pieces and boil in 6 cups of boiling, salted water for 7 to 10 minutes. The potato chunks should be tender, yet slightly tough in the middle when done. Drain and rinse potatoes with cold water.
2. In a medium bowl, combine remaining ingredients and whisk until smooth.
3. Pour drained potatoes into a large bowl. Pour the dressing over the potatoes and mix until well-combined.
4. Cover and chill for at least 4 hours. Overnight is best. Makes 6 cups (about 8 servings).

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Mike, B-Days, and LJ / Rotten fish CAN kill you! / Henry VIII / 2007 survey

Note to self: Go to store this week and get two birthday cards for Billie and Harmony (plus Billie's birthday present), at least five packs of stickers, three postcards, and a blank card for someone else. Also mail something to somebody, while you're at it.

Earlier today, I wished both David S. (omni_sinrilus) and Mike (stoneditaliano) a HAPPY BIRTHDAY via Myspace messages. Mike got back to me, saying that his girlfriend Christina (stinkystina) was trying to get him back on LJ... then he asked whether I still write on there. As proven by this entry and the hundreds before it on there... no. No, I do not. *sarcasm* Hahaha... I didn't tell him that, though! Of course I do... it still has fewer errors than Myspace blogging does! Then he replied to what I put as a response, saying that he thinks I'm one of the coolest people out there, and that he loves reading my funny stories. Cool stuff, and I'll friend him again on LJ even if he writes in leet speak a bunch of the time / never updates anymore. My eyes can always glaze over. ;)

Today's Rotten Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Three Thai men died while unloading rotting fish from a boat in Hutan Melintang near Teluk Intan. Another Thai man was almost overcome by fumes, but managed to crawl out of the boat's hold in time. The dead men were identified as Anaing, 24, Achin, 28, and Kajem Prasit, 27. Yong Thai, 31, managed to escape. The bodies of the dead men have been sent to the Teluk Intan Hospital. The incident happened at 11 AM when the four men were unloading fish from a fishing boat at the fish landing jetty there. One of them was then instructed to unload fish from the boat's hold, where there was also fish that was stale and rotting as they had been kept there for about 10 days.

"Upon entering the hold, he must have breathed fumes," Hilir Perak Deputy OCPD Supt Zainuddin said. When the three others heard their friend collapse in the boat's hold, they rushed down after him to help. One by one, they too collapsed. Fortunately, Yong Thai managed to crawl out and save himself. Investigations found that there were about 100 bags of rotting fish in the boat's hold, and that the air-conditioning system was not working. "Samples of their lung tissue have been sent to the Ipoh Chemistry Department for tests," he said. Yong Thai, when approached, said everything happened so fast that there was little time to do anything.

Culled from: The Star
Generously submitted by: Bruce T.


Really, you'd think they'd be immune to the fumes of rotten fish, considering the rather aromatic state of the Asian markets I've walked through. And, as a vegetarian, Asian markets are not my favorite places to visit.


Wretched Recommendations!

Elsbeth has a film recommendation:

The Madness of Henry VIII (2006)

"Among other morbid but interesting facts were the open ulcerated sores on Henry's leg that oozed pus and just would NOT be healed. I think, because of the leg, his activity levels were severely curtailed. This caused him to gain so much weight that he eventually weighed in at 350 pounds, and had a 57-inch waist line. When he died, he weighed so much that he cracked the boards of his coffin. His blood dripped out and was licked up by the dogs. One of the weirder aspects of this is that it was predicted sometime before Henry's death. I think it was predicted by a disgruntled bishop, but don't hold me to that one."

Sounds fascinating!


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Lorri

"I had my scalp 'degloved' in a car accident. The driver was drunk and going way too fast around a curve. I wasn't awake while I flew out the back window of the Camaro, but I did wake up upon landing 100 feet down a mountainside to find myself covered in blood unable to move. It was 5:45 AM, but it was a full moon that night. I held my hand up in front of my face, and it was bloodsoaked. I had blood, leaves, and dirt in my mouth. Apparently when I went out the window (from the front seat), my scalp caught the glass and framework of the back window, and tore from front to back. I know this because after being discharged from the hospital, I demanded my family take me to see the car. (it broke in half, the hood came off, and a door landed at the bottom of the mountain) My hair was still on the framework. I ended up with 40 staples and countless stitches underneath them. (I also fractured my neck) Needless to say, I have a pretty little scar that goes diagonally from the corner of my right eyebrow to the back of my left ear. I cut muscle and nerve, and have a small dent in my forehead near my hairline. I should probably be dead, but I'm still here suffering away with the rest of the world. HAHA."

Dude, I totally need to see that movie about Henry VIII... although I already knew about all the stuff mentioned in the recommendation. :D

Here's a 2007 survey:

2007 Survey

1. Will you be looking for a new job? Maybe.
2. Will you be looking for a new relationship? Perhaps.
3. New house? Not unless I seriously can't stay here anymore. Reminds me, I need to see about that $750 settlement for the "no heat" thing back in May... tomorrow?
4. What will you do differently in 2007? ("Do different"?! Good Lord... at least I changed the grammar on that one!) Sharing on a personal level, getting to the kids (NOT in a perverted way! :P), and I'm not sure what else...
5. New Years resolution? None, as those things are too damn easy to break! :P
6. What will you not be doing in 2007? Smoking and illicit vice!
7. Any trips planned? Nah, but you never know...
8. Wedding plans? HAHAHA, not for mine! (that I know of...)
9. What's on your calendar? Numbers and not a bunch of concrete plans.
10. What can't you wait for? Nothing, really. I would say Chung and Karen's wedding, but that'll just make me feel OLD!
11. What would you like to see happen differently? Certain interpersonal relationships.
12. What about yourself will you be changing? I can think of a couple of things...
13. What happened in 2006 that you didn't think would ever happen? People being too pushy about certain things.
14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about? How much nicer can I get?! (haha... sarcasm!) Seriously, I strive for that every time I see them... sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I fail miserably. :P
15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 2006? Probably not... but you never know when COLOR may make its way into my wardrobe! (not that I dress like a total goth in all black or anything, though!)
16. Will you start or quit drinking? Neither.
17. Will you better your relationship with your family? Always room for improvement on that one... so we'll see.
18. Will you do charity work? Maybe.
19. Will you go to bars? Quite possibly, if the Whip / Dix are in my future! (I know they are in my brother's, haha)
20. Will you be nice to people you don't know? I usually am.
21. Do you expect 2007 to be a good year for you? It better be.
22. How much did you change from this time last year till now? Not much, really.
23. Do you plan on having a child? Since it would give my relatives a heart attack if I had a child without benefit of wedlock... no.
24.Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with? Most likely!
25. Major lifestyle changes? Eh, probably not.
26. Will you be moving? See #3.
27. Any new pets? No, since most apartment complexes around here don't allow 'em.
28. What are your New Years Eve plans? You think I have any idea about it NOW?! You MUST be crazy!
29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight? See above... but probably not.
30. Wish for 2007? All the usual stuff.

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said: January 2007

These stupid quotes are from The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar 2007.

Page-A-Day Calendars

Monday, Jan. 1: Fascinating Autobiographical Insights

"The past has been a big part of my life." - Paul Burrell, former butler to Princess Diana

Tuesday, Jan. 2: Now WHAT Chapter is This Again?

"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century." - President George W. Bush, on the Monica Lewinsky scandal

Wednesday, Jan. 3: Why Kids are Tough Interview Subjects

Host of Baby Races to a little boy: Say "Hi."
Little boy: Hi.
Host: Oh, there ya go. We're going to play a great game down here called "Sit on It." You ever play at the sandbox or the beach and all kinds of stuff?
Little boy: I'm gonna go potty.

Thursday, Jan. 4: Could You Whistle A Few Bars?

"Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing The Girl From Emphysema?" - customer at a Times Square (New York) record store

Friday, Jan. 5: Just Another One of Those Cheese Poems


We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease.
Gently fanned by the evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
- poet James McIntyre, from the book Very Bad Poetry

Saturday, Jan. 6: Astronauts and Basic Needs


Sunday, Jan. 7: Zoo Patrons, Not Much Smarter than the Average Bear

Will we see animals on the tour?
How long is the 35-minute bus tour?
You have signs all over with maps that say "You are here." Why don't they put that on the handheld maps so we can figure out where we are?

- questions asked of a San Diego Zoo tour bus driver (thanks to Barbara Glaeser)

Monday, Jan. 8: Noisy Dwellings

"I sold my house and moved into a pandemonium." - Toronto mayor Allan Lamport

Tuesday, Jan. 9: You Should Have Dined In

Takeout order taker: May I have your name, please?
Customer: Bill.
Order taker: John?
Customer: No, Bill.
Order taker: Dion?
Customer: Bill.
Order taker: Jill?
Customer: No, Bill. Do you know Bill Clinton?
Order taker: Yes.
Customer: My name is Bill, like in Bill Clinton.
Order taker: Okay, Dill Clinton. May I take your order, Sir Dill?
- exchange on the phone at a Manila takeout restaurant

Wednesday, Jan. 10: Actor's Thoughts About Crucial Planetary Preferences

"I've always liked Saturn. But I also have some sympathy for Pluto because I heard it's been downgraded from a planet, and I think it should remain a planet. Once you give something planetary status, it's kind of mean to take it away." - actor Jared Leto

Thursday, Jan. 11: Judges Who Are A Little Too Persevering

Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right. How do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course. You might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay, I was your bookie.
- recorded in court testimony

Friday, Jan. 12: Very Stupid Answers

Game show host Ron Lange: Give me the definition of the word "innuendo."
Woman #1: Unending.
Man #1: Uh, that's the capital of Greece.
Woman #2: It's an Italian pastry.
Man #2: The end of the end.
Woman #3: Something that happens in bed.
Man #3: I know that one. It's a Greek suppository.

Saturday, Jan. 13: Kung-Fu Threats

"Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination." - English subtitle for a Hong Kong kung-fu film

Sunday, Jan. 14: Three-Footed NFL Receivers

"Upon further review, the receiver gained possession of the ball and, after getting both feet down, dragged his other foot on the ground before going out of bounds." - referee during a Bengals-Patriots game (thanks to Jeff Dafler)

Monday, Jan. 15: I Scream For Ice Cream

Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream
Lettuce Potato Ice Cream
Shark's Fin Noodle Ice Cream
Goat Ice Cream
Deep Sea Water
- ice cream flavors available at Ice Cream City, Tokyo

Tuesday, Jan. 16: Agents... Alas, All Too Typical

Talent agent Lew Grade: Twenty-five is ridiculous. I can get you forty. Who's your agent?
Actor: You are.

Wednesday, Jan. 17: Thanks Soooo Much, Dr. Gott

DEAR DR. GOTT: I've been diagnosed with abnormal liver enzymes, but my doctor failed to explain what this means. Can you help?
DEAR READER: The liver, one of the body's most vital organs, carries out multiple complex varied functions... The mostly bourgeois subways laughed however five angst-ridden fountains abused Quark, Minnesota towed one bureau, yet five Jabberwockies tastes one cat. Batman ran away, then the fountains quickly tastes one mat.
- from the Kokomo (Indiana) Tribune (thanks to Vicki and Charles Gott)

Thursday, Jan. 18: Slogans That Don't Quite Make It

BE HALF AS FRESH AS THE DAY IS LONG - slogan on tampons, Japan

Friday, Jan. 19: Racy Bronzes

896 COLIN: A bronze of a young blacksmith wearing only a leather apron, his tool in hand. Signed and bearing a foundry mark, 13½ inches high. - H.Y. Duke & Son auction catalog

Saturday, Jan. 20: Fascinating Football Facts

ILLEGAL MOTION: Movement by an offensive player before the play starts. There are movements that are allowed, but the illegal ones are not. - from the Better Homes and Gardens "Football Primer," on BHG (thanks to Frank Yates)

Sunday, Jan. 21: See, Marion, It's Kinda Their Job...

"What right does Congress have to go around making laws, just because they deem it necessary?" - Washington, D.C., mayor Marion Barry

Monday, Jan. 22: Oh Gosh! He Was The First Man on the Moon, and Now He's Won the Tour De France!!

- ad by a 99-cent shop in the Las Vegas Sun

Tuesday, Jan. 23: Royal Freudian Slips

"In my opinion, he will make a great king. He is a young man wise beyond his ears." - industrialist Armand Hammer on Prince Charles

Wednesday, Jan. 24: Maybe You've Got To Get Past Page 5

"What is the name of the memory book you just got me? It's a book about memorizing. It's a memory book." - actress Carmen Electra, to a male companion, when asked by the New York Daily News what book she was reading

Thursday, Jan. 25: Contestants and Letter Identification Problems

Weakest Link host Anne Robinson: What word beginning with "A" is another name for the white of an egg?
Contestant: Yolk.

Friday, Jan. 26: Care To Rephrase That? Department

Female TV news anchor to male weatherman, regarding snowfall amounts: "Where's that six inches you promised me last night?" - on a Nebraska news show (thanks to Stu Roach)

Saturday, Jan. 27: Not Great Reporting About Reports

"The report speaks for itself. It's a very good report. It's a very long report. I haven't read the report yet." - British Member of Parliament Keith Vaz

Sunday, Jan. 28: VERY Big Cities

"I'm looking forward to playing the Timberwolves. I've never been to the city of Minnesota." - Denver Nuggets player Carmelo Anthony (thanks to Craig Downey)

Monday, Jan. 29: Gender Confusion

- sign at a restaurant in Baguio, Philippines

Tuesday, Jan. 30: Great Senate Majority Leader Moments in REALLY Caring

"Get some devastation in the back." - Senate Majority Leader Bill First (R-Tennessee) to an aide during a photo op, while visiting tsunami-ravaged Sri Lanka

Wednesday, Jan. 31: Forgive Us, But We're Not Quite Getting Your Point, Bobby

"When it rains, it snows." - Florida State University football coach Bobby Bowden

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Who Was Your Last?

Who Was Your Last? (from Candy via Myspace bulletin)

1. Hung out with? Jon and Harmony... we crashed Kendrick's New Year's Eve party and met a bunch of people. Cool times. :D
2. Rode in a car with? Steph, when she drove me back home last night.
3. Went to the movies with? Mom and Grandma, when we saw HAPPY FEET.
4. Went to the mall with? I go to the mall alone... it's better that way! :P But seriously? Probably Nina...
5. Talked on the phone to? Jon.
6. Made you laugh? Rachel, when she declared that she didn't care if Grandma was observing her while she took just a forkful of the mango pudding from its dish instead of putting it on a paper plate!
7. Last person you told and / or they told you they loved you? Sister.
8. Kissed you? I'd rather not access that memory in my bank, mmkay? =/

Which would you rather do??

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Nose.
2. Be serious or be funny? Funny.
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Skim.
4. Die in a fire or get shot? Get shot.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents.


1. Do you like anyone? No.
2. Sun or moon? Moon.
3. Winter or Fall? Fall.
4. Left or right? Right.
5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends? Two best friends.
6. Sunny or rainy? Sunny.
7. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Chocolate.


1. What time is it? 6:13 PM. Wait... what does this have to do with me? Stupid question.
2. What's your first name? Leslie.
3. Where do you wanna live? San Francisco!
4. How many kids do you want? Two?
5. Do you want to get married? Yes... but at this rate, it's not gonna happen! =/
6. Where do you want to get married? The Bahamas.
7. Current mood? Thoughtful.


1. Sang? No.
2. Been hugged? No.
3. Felt stupid? Yes.
4. Missed someone? Sure.
5. Danced Crazily? No.
6. Gotten your hair cut? No.
7. Cried? No.


1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? No.
2. Do you have a dog? No... I don't like 'em much.
3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Never... I'd kill myself if I did! (no, I'm not being emo... it really WOULD kill me!)
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Alone, since I can take up the whole bed that way! But sleeping with someone else would be good, too... not that I speak from experience or anything. :P
5. Do you believe in ghosts? Not really.
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Meh... so-so?
7. Who do you want to be with right now? Friends, heh.

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RQ tagging, regifting calendars, inaccurate Band dreams, tamarind pulp

The end of the holiday season might bring many things: for me, it brings a renewed focus on RQ tagging! Yay! I should be done by the end of this year. If not, smack me! :P

I think I should regift this calendar my mom got me since I already bought the Bathroom Reader #16 book three years ago. At least there's only a few days till Friday, when I'll hopefully see the person I intend to give it to, haha. Just for some COLORFUL fun, I'll include these ladybug stickers.. although it could be argued that I need them for future greeting cards and such. Eh, it doesn't matter... that person should COLOR HIS WORLD with the stickers, hahaha. ;)

Why the heck did I dream (among other things) that I was in a band class with Jennifer Bertram, Annette Gold, Alan Cofman, and a bunch of my other old school classmates? It wasn't even accurate since Jennifer played the clarinet in this one, and she was a flautist back in the day! Plus, my clarinet case was this red Lego container! Very insane... at least I had about 12 hours and 45 minutes' worth of sleep, so I think I'm almost caught up again.

Vivian S. emailed me and my sister a picture of this Cappy tamarind pulp drink she saw in a Mexican supermarket since she figured we'd appreciate it. She couldn't stop laughing when she saw it, and I had the same reaction! Hahaha!

Are you a vapid internet victim?

NO! You probably cringed at every question in this quiz.

Congratulations! You know how to act online without bringing the wrath of the world down upon you!

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by quizzes and personality tests.

Of course I do. Other people... not so much. :P

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"Off" emails / I'm not a corpse! *punch* / KFC Pecan Pie

"Your attendance encourages your group! Come for Jesus and his people. There is still time to join the David Fellowship common study of Nehemiah. Come, come, come." I don't know why I find these lines in the latest Fellowship email so "off," but I do. :P (the first sentence COULD be right, and I'm sure the third is too... but we shouldn't need to be told all those things! *sigh* )

Today's Punchy Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Hospital officials in Romania are investigating the case of a doctor who was punched by a "corpse" in the morgue. The doctor had to be treated for shock after being punched by teenager Bogdan Georgescu. The incident took place after the doctor thought he saw Georgescu move, and bent over to investigate. The youngster, 16, was taken to the morgue at Brasov County Hospital in Brasov after collapsing and showing no signs of life. He was declared dead on arrival, and his body was moved to the morgue. The teenager said: "I woke up and had no idea where I was. I looked to the left and to the right and saw dead women on either side of me, and then I saw this man coming towards me in a white coat. I just panicked. I thought he was going to kill me." The youngster, from Fagaras, is now being treated in the neurological ward to find out the cause of his collapse. He said: "The last thing I remember is drinking coffee with my brother, and then I woke up in the morgue." The doctor was allowed to take time off work after being treated for shock.

Culled from: iOl
Generously submitted by: Paradox


If I woke up in that situation, I'd be punching the guy too! But of course, that's because I watch too many movies like Hostel.

With the end of 2006, we also mark the end of the infamous e-mail address. It has been a heart-wrenching decision, but I have decided that I cannot justify the extra expense to retain the old email address, so from now on, please send your missives to Now, let us all bow our heads while TAPS is played...


Morbid Merchandise!

At the request of an Asylum Inmate, I have created my own version of the "Friends Help Friends Move / Real Friends Help Friends Move Bodies" t-shirt. It is available in a short or long-sleeved version from the Juror2.Net Ebay shop. Please take a look and let me know your thoughts. Suggestions for improvements or ideas for future merchandise are always welcome!

A Plethora Of Viscera!


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Erro

"I work as an embalming apprentice in a very high volume funeral home, so I see things everyday that would probably qualify for tons of Brushes With Morbidity. Though they'd be more like Bludgeons With Morbidity, considering our caseload!

"I could talk about the 22-year old-girl who OD'd on heroin, and left a very pretty corpse. Or the equally young and pretty girl who fell and hit her head, and died from an allergic reaction to something the ER gave her to control brain swelling...

"Or last week, when I picked up a body at the morgue of a large hospital, I looked to my right while inside the cooler. There was a rack loaded with plastic bins. I noticed small white bags in the bins. Based on their labels, there were about 20 babies in that cooler. Knowing that and seeing it are two different things, though. Small white bags just don't have that much impact unless you see what's in them.

"Today (1/1/2006) kind of topped those. This afternoon, I picked up a two-year-old boy from the M.E.'s office. It was my first child case. His DC (death certificate) listed cause of death as 'blunt force trauma' and the 'Homicide' box was xx'ed out. Quarter-sized bruises covered his entire body, and it appeared that either his collarbone or neck had been fractured. He had an apple-sized fresh bruise on the right crux of his neck / shoulder area.

"It was hard to ignore the sight of the huge gaping Y-incision that dominated his entire torso. When you looked at his little face, you were distracted by the incision along the back and sides of his head where his calvarium was cut away in a wedge during the cranial autopsy. You could see inside his skull, past the freshly barbered hair, rudely sliced skin, inner muscle layer, and then his brain. Usually the brain is included in the chest contents bag, but I guess he was so small (about 20 lbs) that there wasn't room for extra.

"There was ink on his fingers and soles of his feet where he had his prints taken. There was blood clotted at the back of his head, where it leaked out of his barely attached calvarium and scalp flap. We will take care of this later, when we embalm him. He will be lovingly washed and cleaned up. We will also sew up all the incisions in his body and cover his bruises with makeup. By tomorrow, he will look peaceful, like he is only sleeping.

"I had wrapped the body bag in a sheet when I loaded him into a van. When I took him out of the van, I didn't get a cot for him. I carried him into the prep room in my arms. I laid him on a dressing table, and proceeded to check him into the system so we could take care of him.

"He was two years and one month old. He had a birthday last month. He had Christmas last week. And then on New Year's Eve, someone beat him to death. Happy New Year."

Very well-written, erro... packs a wallop!


Morbid Link Du Jour!

Robert sends a very interesting link:

"Texas Execution Information Center is a very well-researched site that simply presents the facts of the cases -- and of the executions. The author remains studiously neutral on the subject, almost to a fault. I think you'll enjoy the site."

KFC Pecan Pie

4 Eggs, slightly beaten
1 cup dark corn syrup
pinch of salt
1/3 cup sugar
1 Tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar
4 Tablespoons melted butter
2 teaspoons vanilla
2/3 cup pecan halves
1 9-inch unbaked pie shell

Preheat oven to 325-350ºF. Mix together the first seven ingredients listed above. Stir in 2/3 cup pecan halves. Pour the mixture into an unbaked pie shell. Bake 35-40 minutes.

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Monday, January 01, 2007

No Fromage?! / Fort Mac / Christmas lights are NOT strobe lights!

Wonder if Matt Torres' CD ever got delivered to him... but it's been too long to just ask. Oh well, it didn't cost me very much. Yay for profit! :P

Yesterday, Jon wondered whether FROMAGE 2006 would be on. I didn't know, which surprised him: "Didn't you use to be all over that show?!" Haha, it WAS cool and hilarious stuff! So I Googled, and it turns out that MuchMusic isn't airing it this year due to problems between them and Ed the Sock. That was definitely a disappointment! :(

Steph and Rachel's dinner was pretty good: Greek salad, coriander carrot soup (Emeril and BAM! with cilantro!), rosemary chicken, mashed potatoes, and some more stuff. They scolded Jon, Harmony, and our parents for eating at 4:30 when they knew we had a dinner! Before Rachel's parents and sister got to the townhouse, I watched TV on the third floor with Jon and Harmony while discussing posture and other stuff: nothing was really on TV except a bunch of football games and cooking shows, and some Kevin Bacon / Tom Cruise movie. We watched some JEOPARDY: the second round dollar values have increased since the last time I watched the show: $400, 800, 1200, 1600, and 2000?! Maybe it's just me, but Alex Trebek looks older now and his face is rounder and not so sharply defined these days. Yes, I know he's gotten older... no need to tell me that! :P (Grandma even came up there to see what we were doing, so there goes Mom's belief that she'll never do that because the stairs are too much for her or whatever!)

We spent some time in Jon's room looking at his extensive CD / book collections. Everything is crammed into any available space, including my mom's big storage box of yarn and Dad's books. (the room used to be his study) I spied a big trivia questions book on the 20th century that Jon got for $3.99 from a London Drugs book sale: he said I could take it, but I flipped through it while awaiting dinner, so I settled for Umberto Eco's FOUCAULT'S PENDULUM instead, haha. He brought all these free books home from a Yonge Street mission, yet hasn't started reading them... I think I'm safe in selecting that one, heh. We also tried convincing Jon to take an actual nap: we weren't impressed with his "two-minute power nap!" M.O. Harmony told him that a nap should be anywhere from half an hour to upwards of four hours long. He thought that since these qualifications didn't appear in Webster's Dictionary, it wasn't official. Gee, if both your sister AND your girlfriend are insisting that you close your eyes and actually nap, you think you'd do it! Men... *rolleyes*

Later, Harmony tried silencing Jon's falsetto singing (which she hates) by putting her hand over his mouth. That didn't really work since I helped him get her hand off there, and then smacked him for her when he made various weird remarks. She thought she could learn techniques from me for putting up with him, heh. Her brother Myles just beats her up, but then she apparently gives it right back! We talked with the parents for a bit: even Uncle Gabriel and Auntie Esther got an introduction to Harmony when I didn't, which Steph thought was bad! Rachel just wanted a forkful of the excellent mango pudding from its Corningware dish, which prompted Steph to remind her about who was observing her behavior. She didn't care if Grandma was looking at her, haha. Harmony asked how we decided when Jon was "Flime" or "Ug / Ugfart," so I told her that it was more random than anything else! (although "ug / ugfart" DOES tend to get used more often when we're mad at him!)

Then Jon asked Harmony what she wanted to do later: he always does this so as not to wear the pants in the relationship. But it always turns into "I don't know... what do YOU want to do?" So I said, "Okay, guys... make a decision!" Then we joked about communal pajama pants: Grandma's are cute! Rachel noticed that Steph was wearing one of her black shirts, but said she could keep it... THAT led to joking about the same happening with underwear! "Hey, those are MY panties! Same color, same material... look, it's even the same stain!" The parents weren't impressed, haha. After that, Steph joked that Dad's booty would set fire to the townhouse if he moved too close to the candles near the oranges with cloves in them (Victorian air fresheners). We could imagine the headline in that case: "BOOTY FIRE: MALE BOOTY SETS FIRE TO TOWNHOUSE" or something! ("booty" is only nine points in Scrabble!)

Lisa, Rachel, Steph, Harmony, Jon, and I talked about environmental consultation in Alberta / Rachel bringing culture to Fort MacMurray. Jon amused himself by offering red wine to Grandma, who wouldn't even take much sparkling juice. Then he mentioned a Toronto story he'd heard about: these grandparents were convicted of extreme neglect of their five-year-old grandson, who wasn't even allowed to use the toilet! (he drank toilet water and didn't eat very much...) Apparently, they both had very low IQ *and* EQ! (emotional quotient... most people would want to protect someone smaller than them and not neglect them, especially if they're related to the person!) Steph brought up a long-ago story: when the girls at church used to slap each others' butts, they heard something about how the body was a sacred temple. So the next time someone went to slap Eunice's butt, she invoked the "TEMPLE! SACRED!" card. That didn't last too long, haha. Rachel and Steph reflected on how long they'd known each other now (11 years?!), and told us that Kate hadn't heard anything from Elvis EVER! Then I told them that Mom had seemed surprised that I recognized him on TV recently... aiyoh!

Later, Harmony said that her co-workers often jokingly refer to each other by their last names. That would definitely not work in her case... I can just imagine! "Hey, McKenzie! Got that letter sorted out?" "Yes, Ho... I most certainly did!" Not good... although there was someone she emailed that insisted on calling her by her last name in email, even if every email was signed "Harmony." That led Jon to call her "Har-Har Binks" after Jar-Jar Binks in the STAR WARS movies ("You can be the Spanish version, haha!"): she wasn't impressed. Rachel told us that Steph's "youngest sibling" baby voice was annoying, and Harmony thought that Myles probably didn't use his since he was a guy! A while later, I had to forcibly remove Harmony from the kitchen where she was helpfully washing dishes... she DOES jump when you touch her waist, heh. I got Jon to give her a towel to wipe her hands after Steph took the sponge from her, then we guided her OUT of there! (it gets to be a party in there when three or more people are around since it's SMALL!)

Rachel showed us her black feet from standing in the kitchen all afternoon: yeah, the floor's dirty! Uncle Gabriel and Lisa left early since he wasn't feeling well, which meant we had to make small talk with Auntie Esther about the Richmond Library and people they knew. (various friends of Harmony's, Steve McCreedy and his wedding a year ago to an Asian girl, some Steveston bookshelver who's a Christian) Then our parents got to gossiping over coffee about various people, and speculating on their personal lives... then they denied they were doing that. *rolleyes* Auntie Esther discussed her marriage and such with Mom, while I pretended not to pay attention since I was drinking some Welcome Winter ale with 6.5% alcohol. My sister thought that they wouldn't finish a bottle of wine in one night because I didn't live with them anymore... oh, shush. :P

We didn't even touch the ice wine that Harmony brought over last night, since we were all too full from eating! Jon and Harmony left later to walk to Rogers Video and rent movies to watch at her place: Mom questioned why they walked when they could use the car, and Auntie Esther remarked that it would be romantic! Jon affirmed that, and also said that they needed to move around after the meal. (yesterday, he was drumming on the table and fidgeting at Kendrick's... just like Matt Mark would, apparently!) Steph bugged our parents about walking more for their health: I should do that too, haha. (too lazy!)

Steph drove me home after Rachel left with her mom: Rachel's last day at work is Friday since she didn't want to take the time off because it's money, which she'll definitely need in Alberta. Vivian's doing pretty well, and got her some Manzana Lift from Mexico: apparently, that apple soda stuff is awesome! Steph's saving the 2L bottle for a Mexico reunion, heh. Since Vivian can actually eat out and such now because she's off her crazy food exclusion diet (and onto allergy shots), maybe we'll hang out one day! Steph thinks that my place would be good for a Bible Study outing since I've not had a get-together in some time, especially since some of us are from Richmond. Eh, we'll see..

Recent parental hilarity:

1. Dad to Jon: "Turn on the strobe lights outside so Dave's family can see our place!" (he meant the Christmas lights!)

2. Mom to me: "You are my darling wet..." (I don't think I wanna know... yes, she used "wet" as a noun! o_O)

3. Mom to me, again: "Open that can of pickles for me." (then I corrected her) "It's the same thing!" [a CAN and JAR are NOT the same thing... cans are made of metal, and jars are made of glass!]

4. Mom: "Who is James Brown?!" Steph tried to explain to her by singing some I FEEL GOOD... that did NOT work! You'd think she would know who he is...

5. Rachel and Steph tried to convince our moms that puberty caused Steph's hair to grow into a frizzy fro instead of chlorine in swimming pools. Then Rachel agreed with Steph that "it" probably caused her own hair to go crazy ten years ago. Her mom said, "It? You mean swimming?!" NO! PUBERTY!

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