ANGRY BIRDS / Musical HELP note!

Eric picked me up for church a little late, but that's how we roll. He still jokingly thought I was drunk from last night, but that so wasn't true! I asked him why he didn't SAY anything when he called to let me know he was here, but he was checking his tires since they sounded weird when going over the speed bump, and forgot that he had pressed the CALL button. Good, because I almost went all "Gordon Ramsay" on him like he said! Of course, I'd have to turn such a mode OFF when I got to church - and then Eric asked me WHY. Um, because Gordon Ramsay swears a lot at the contestants in HELL'S KITCHEN?! Got to church, and asked Jeremy where he'd been last night: seems the poor guy was exhausted after a long week, and was in bed. Of course I forgive him! :D

Talked to Auntie Allyn about Grandma, and said hi to Uncle Peter; he just got back from China! Said hi to Amanda when she wanted to see the cute kiddy presentation, of course. Talked to Andrew L. about last night, studying for midterms, studying in general while a friend's party at his place was going on below him (hearing laughter!), Thanksgiving weekend, weddings, "FML" situations (a HUGE midterm?!), and more. Auntie Ying and I agreed that we should get together - she did ask me about last night, then wished me a happy birthday. When I saw Auntie Catherine, she remembered that my birthday is tomorrow. I asked Geoffrey whether he got my email, and he said he forgot to reply! He did wish me a happy birthday, though - he'd been in Houston recently after Labor Day to spend time with his family, and gave me an update on his dad since he'd sent us some email about him. I congratulated Brian on his wedding while saying hi to Jane and baby Rebecca, then asked the ugfart where the baby was. He pointed upstairs, and mentioned that he still wanted to go to Fat Dragon. I suggested that we talk about it at the Kwong Chow dinner today since everyone would be there!

Talked to Auntie Doris about babies and the sleeping baby Declan for a while. After saying hi to Julie C. and Julie S., I went upstairs to see whether I could find baby Ayler. I found him under a rather colorful blanket which Mom had given him - he was awake and fed. Talked to him for a few minutes: "Hello, baby!" is getting a bit stale, haha. I should come up with more to say! When Jon and Harmony left, I said I'd see them tonight. At Toddler Sunday School, Shira and Evelyn tried a hula hoop... they seemed to be having fun after they colored!

David was building his house out of huge interlocking foam tiles as usual ("I don't need your help"), James was reading (he remembers who I am - and sat in my lap), and Ramen talked to me for approximately ten minutes about kindergarten / Sparks (Stanley is his leader) / (drawing) Angry Birds and pigs. His mom Jessie says that he had someone to talk to - yes, and I don't mind doing that! Eric came upstairs later to say he was leaving early, so I got him to help sharpen a pencil first. We discussed Friday's program (part 2 of the Dietrich Bonhoeffer movie at Pastor Bob's), DRAGON QUEST, music, bleeps and bloops, ZSNES erasing EVERYTHING, Ultimate, broccoli, ice cream, language, and more. I'll certainly get back to him!


Funny musical HELP note:

Italian Tomato, outdoor mats, Douglas Park, and GOOD FOOD

I was going to visit Grandma briefly before going to meet Eric at Langara Station, but Jon said to bring a mat to sit on. Since I didn't have one, I went to the dollar store / Sears / London Drugs to see if they had anything like that. London Drugs DID, but it was more like a balcony mat - whatever, I wasn't picky at that point since I was running out of time! We went to Douglas Park to meet Jon, Harmony, and Ayler. This was after we went to Dragon Ball to pick up bubble tea. Jon paid Eric back for his order of something fruity (mango) - half sugar - coconut jelly for Harmony, and something adventurous (red bean and longan) - half sugar - pearls for himself. I didn't have cash, so Eric paid... he also got taro, and I got a pudding. Mr. Dragon Ball was still there!

Jon, Harmony, Eric, and I talked about baby Ayler, parenthood, the bright yellow color of Eric's shirt, my Canucks shirt, Grandma and her eye not being quite open, Steph, Lisa, the puppy, life updates, construction, Nathan, Desmond, and more. When Eric held the baby, Ayler started crying! Edwin and Jane showed up with baby Rebecca, and both babies started fussing and crying when they looked at each other! Talked about Brian and Amy's wedding next week, Amy finding the ring before the proposal, Norman, Sean, children's concerts (one was in the background!), and more. Eric and I left earlier than they did because of the sun and a bit of hunger. We talked about Kingspark Seafood House, but I wanted to see if we could find that Italian Tomato place which Eliza recommended to me months ago. As it turned out, we did - but not after some creative driving and turns of phrase! No, I don't mind if he swears!

Discussed Grandma, pasta, his cousins not being babies anymore, pizza, mushrooms, chicken, spicy Italian sausage, shrimp, life, chilling, Price Smart, sports, the Blue Jays, BEYOND BELIEF, curses, paying me back if I paid by debit, his friends getting married and having kids, the lockout possibility, and more. Of course I didn't mind if he stopped by Price Smart briefly to see if he could find stuff for his grandma! He didn't, but he still opted to chill for a bit back at my place. Conversed about new books, Uganda and Gay Pride, CRACKED articles, cash, Halloween and Christmas stuff in stores already, the guestbook, and more. When he left about an hour later at 10:30, Yvonne had emailed me and Jon some contact info for her and her siblings. I finally managed to reply to Steve's email, too... it's been almost three weeks, man! Things keep on happening around here!

Baby Ayler's first church outing!

As I'd predicted to Eric, I was up with the sounds of the traffic and such from below at about 8. SLEEP DEBT, OH YES! That didn't mean that I'd feel fully awake when it came time for the special meeting at church, though. I delayed Eric a bit by looking for a suitable jacket and stuff, but we were on our way soon after 9:35. He thought - as usual - that I was drunk, so I said NO! We talked about Kevin / Randal / Geoffrey being at the Burnaby hiking outing yesterday, coaching soccer, traffic, construction, and more. During service, I read my bulletin; tickets for Phil's farewell lunch will only be on sale for three weeks, so I got mine TODAY from Christon after confirming that Eric would be going. Later, I talked to Amanda (who has a big gash on her head from falling on metal) / Jane / Tracy, and peeked in at a sleeping baby Rebecca. Jon and Harmony had actually made it to church with baby Ayler, so people looked in at him. He was waking up from sleep, which is cute! Talked to Frances, Micah ("Is that baby Ayler? He has small hair!"), Isaac, Karen, Lincoln, Brian, Stanley, Auntie Cathy, and Auntie Ying while telling the baby that the noise was okay. He seemed to be kind of interested in my "PRICE IS RIGHT" shirt because of the bright colors, haha. Jon said that they might drop by later, as they're going to her parents' place for dinner; if not, I'll call him on Tuesday! Gave the rest of my Brookside chocolates away to Hannah W. / Natalie W. / Gladys, plus the Chiclet / Dentyne gum and Lemonheads candy. I knew I'd find willing takers!

Saw Lanie, Danny, Jessie, new kids named Silas / Janelle / Haley (the last two were too young), Anastasia, Ashley, Natalie, Ramen, Shira, Mattias, David, and Evelyn at Toddler Sunday School; the floor had changed from white tile to hardwood in the last two weeks, Lanie told me. There were also new toys that parents had donated, she added - NICE! I comforted Ramen while his mom was out of the room with a baby, and confirmed that Mattias knew who I was. Later, Eric and Jon were going for Pho, but I decided to stay and eat (egg / ham / ham and cheese) sandwiches with fruit to save money. Of course, I donated some money for the freewill offering! I spilled my fruit cup in front of Mattias and Marcus; whoops! Discovered that my handbag had sustained fruit juice, so went to Superstore to see if they had any - nope, but I did get a farewell card with a sad dog on it for Phil / Grace / Micah, plus a green apple shampoo and conditioner! To thank Mattias for doing a good job of watching my stuff, I gave him a bunch of stickers. He really liked those (after he asked what I'd bought - I showed him), and told his mom Karen about it! Phil figured that I always had gifts for the kids - sometimes, yes! We discussed his own son Micah, Steveston, Pastor John, Karmie, housesitting, quorum, and more prior to going in for the meeting. (Stanley and Jon were playing jazz on the piano while Danny W. and Eric played with Mattias and Marcus)

During the meeting, I talked to Jeremy about a light popular novel, and discovered that I really didn't believe in certain things like overly religious prayer. Guess I'm not really that religious, haha! Turns out that I didn't need to be there, since there were 184 people in attendance, and Pastor Dan was called to serve us with a 94% YES approval rating. Eric said that there were two voting against, and four spoiled ballots, heh. Jeremy told me and Eric that Big G should choose the name since she named him and Eric, hahaha! ("Bearded Man / White Kid") Nope, she doesn't have a name for Pastor Bob! Auntie Anita told me that Andrea's going to be a mom in December, too. On the way home, we just listened to the news since there wasn't much to say. He tells me that Bible Study is on the agenda for Friday; yay. *sarcasm* Decided to see if laundering my bag would work... it works as a temporary fix, but the bottom is loose. Jon just called to see if there was any freezer space for their stuff; not really, since Mom always packs the freezer to the gills with things! "Why is Mom always doing that?!" - NO CLUE!

Eddie and Eunice's wedding

Saw Grandma briefly before going over to Jon and Harmony's, where we saw Holly preparing to take care of baby Ayler for the afternoon and evening. He was a bit fussy, but that's to be expected. Baby seemed to like looking at my blue-and-green wedding wear, though! He was staring at it, haha. The wedding and banquet were at the Capilano Golf and Country Club in West Vancouver... lots of traffic wanting to go to Stanley Park, for sure! It was a pretty casual wedding, and I caught up with Winnie and her two kids Avery and Wesley / Pauline (she left when she was 17, and she's 41 now - yes, Richmond HAS changed a lot!) / Steph / Lisa / Phil / Grace / Jane and Amy (Vegas, motherhood, the nice weather) / Jeremy / Sam / Emily / Karen Choo / Rich / Vanessa (Prince George and hicks and the radio!) / Alan / Tracy / Denise / Daniel / Michelle / Uncle Richard / Auntie Gloria. SO MUCH DIVERSE FOOD! Butter chicken, dim sum, very fresh fish, etc. - I couldn't finish my plate! Had some room for dessert, though. Got home with the sweaters / towels (I'll sort it out later), only to discover that I'd missed a call from Chinese Eric! I can tell since it says "BLOCKED CALL" - and of course, I couldn't call him back since it was 10:45 already! Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Have also made a decision to restart AGAIN! *sigh*

Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, slot machines, poker, and blackjack!

Talked to Corey on Skype messages for a while last night; we discussed Jane's whereabouts, sex, David S., my parents, people getting married by Elvis or Jimi Hendrix impersonators in Vegas, Baby Dragon, reserving tickets for Penn and Teller, the Grand Canyon, Steph, Lisa, gambling (expect to LOSE), and more. It's interesting! "Well, that's what I'd advise NOT doing, unless you're really good at poker or blackjack or something where skill actually plays a factor... even then, it's not a great idea. :P People say that if you go there, you should have some amount you're willing to just lose; spend that, and quit. Basically, go in expecting to lose. :P Then you won't keep throwing money away trying to win. Just have fun with that amount and go home."

"Well, you can gamble on the slot machines basically all night without spending a ton of money. I think those supposedly have a 99% return rate or something... so basically, you're going to lose, but you're going to lose it very slowly. :P And you never know, the jackpots are real... those card games have a skill element, though. If you know how to play those, you really can win. There are professional poker players now that just gamble in the casinos all day. They go to the low-stakes tables to win an amount they can live on, plus extras, which is no sweat for those guys. Then they win some more to play with, and take it to the high-stakes tables, and try to get lucky, and do sometimes. But..... if you're not really really good, you'll get cleaned out in no time. My brother-in-law plays poker constantly, and it sounds like he pretty much got destroyed at the poker tables in Vegas... so how much are you going to gamble?" Hahahaha, probably next to nothing! (considering my budget...)

Bizarro World church service? Not sure if I want this...

When Eric picked me up this morning, we discussed the usual subjects like my being "drunk." As non-religious as I might be these days, I have enough respect for that setting to NOT do that, thank you very much! He said that I was going insane, but I took exception to that. Talked about my Friday mistakes, our future plans, THE WALKING DEAD "zombie music," and more when we weren't just being quiet. When we got to church, I asked Edwin about Jane and baby Rebecca before he had to do Communion prep with Alan and Brian (but he did thank me for asking); asked Auntie Rebecca when she'd be leaving (there's a farewell dinner on Canada Day); said hi to Edmond and Alysia; and changed my seat to sit nearer to my friends. Jeremy updated me on Mark's new job on the Island, transportation, environmentalists, tanks, unusual work weeks, and more.

Church service was really BIZARRE! The order was all switched around and mixed up: the tithes and offering was SECOND, the announcements were in the middle, and the sermon / Communion were AT THE END. I made a note to ask Christon about this later, of course. Someone's cellphone kept going off, so Jeremy joked to me that we'd overlook such a minor offense (applying current sermon material on conflict!) - I had to tell him about Sophia and John's wedding, where one went off during the VOWS! Jeremy showed me his Bible's translation of the "speck in your eye" verse: "having a log in your eye" is even funnier! We also discussed Jon's picture in the bulletin: it COULD have been from before Jer met him!

After that descent into Bizarro World, I went to look for Grandma as I usually do. She wanted to know where I'd been (not there!), and accepted Auntie Paula's help of an arm to get her to church service. Went into the fellowship hall, where there were actually tables set up - FINALLY, AFTER THREE AND A HALF YEARS! Alan gave me a bunch of invitations for Jon / Harmony, my parents, and me to attend Eddie and Eunice's wedding in July. I talked to Andrew about his writing (DEATHS AND GENRE!), to Lincoln about Steveston, to Gino about Friday night / Facebook / rambling / the "different woman" Teresa / that Mafia game, to Sam about his Richmond job, to Emily L. about life and the Cattle Café picture, to Auntie Catherine about a future get-together with the kids, and to Hannah and Gavin about piggybacking. Also said hi to Mike K., David M., and Adam L. (Karen and her son Marcus were at the window - she says he loves stuffed animals, and calls them all "dogs," haha)

Saw Jessie (who'd assumed I just leave early all the time - I'll let her think that!), Shira, Ada, James, Mattias, Ashley, Ramen, Wesley, Emma, Denise, Lanie, Natalie, Danny, Jesse, and Anastasia in Toddler Sunday School. Gave Ashley and Jonathan their Easter candy, said hi to Natalie's mom / Auntie Bessy / Uncle Patrick when they came in, and played the role of "kiddy bathroom attendant" again with Mattias. Lifting him wasn't too bad, I guess. Discussed bread, rolls, toys, different types of food, coloring, buttons, water, and more. Looked for Eric later on, while Grandma asked if we'd be having lunch with them. Mom said that Auntie Anita had free Koinonia lunch tickets, so I bugged Eric about them when I did see him.

We ended up going to lunch and talking to Christon / Alan / Jeremy / Randal about the mixed-up weird service (maybe only on Communion Sundays?), ESC initiatives, church website meetings, BBQ food at Alan's, Jon's last-minute dinner, tongue and other ingredients, Canucks stuff on sale now (Harrison had something like that), the Alpha course, Mike T. and Emily C., cross-border shopping, and other religious stuff. On the way home, Eric and I discussed bestiary stuff / TROGDOR [HOMESTAR RUNNER] and LINK [ZELDA] references in DAWN OF SOULS / Van Halen / my not doing anything wrong / Pastor Bob having unfortunate initials / WORLD OF WARCRAFT stuff / effective ads for prostate cancer ("IT'S OUR TIME! .... to talk about it") and Teunis likely not wanting to pay attention to ads / spending time with people (TOO MUCH!) / my "non-existence." When I got home, I called both my siblings to update them on stuff, and got a ride from Steph for Thursday's dinner. Now, hopefully time for a nap!

$100 bill, jellybeans, vodka, transitions, Philadephia, Pittsburgh, and new babies

When Eric picked me up this morning (after I discovered a stain on my sweatshirt which won't launder out - NEW ONE AHOY!), he joked around about my being "drunk" as per the usual, but he didn't know that the "buzzed" interpretation was actually true! I vented about Paul, and he said that nobody said I had to date him - well, thank goodness for THAT! He also wondered whether there was any progress on a certain front, so I updated him on things there; Eric also asked whether I'd watched any hockey games with Eric Ho. HAVE NOT - WE SHOULD! (perhaps I should call him tomorrow evening?) Eric thinks that Paul being away now doesn't give me a chance to forgive him - trust me, I won't do it in front of him since that'll give him a reason to do similar shit again. We also discussed the Fox, Blur, 90s music, my sleep issues, Christian music, Vegas, escalaphobia, Julie C., Friday's potluck at Pastor Bob's definitely interfering with the weekly tradition because it starts at 6:30, his selling points as to the age gap between Fellowship groups, and more.

I saw Grace, Micah, Winnie, and her kids Megan / Connor / Cameron. I'm aware that Winnie goes to Tenth now, but misses everyone at VCEFC too. Good thing I saw her! Pastor Bob started out his sermon with the tired lighthouse joke, and the whole thing turned out to be on conflict. As I thought, Eric later asked me whether I could apply any of it to Paul - escape?! NOT DENIAL. I was distracted by the kids, but that's okay - I might be more so that way in a short while myself! The sound was a bit off; later, Mike K. was telling me and Jessica that we should have had some black gospel music as a backing tape ("we need Whoopi Goldberg!"), and I suggested that we should have vocals and singers' projection lessons! Melia told me that she and Angus might make it to Steph's wedding in Vegas. Heard that Wes and Esther had a baby boy on the 9th, and that Edwin and Jane had a baby girl just yesterday! (called my sister to update her - we forgot what we put in that baby pool!) After service, I exchanged laid-back greetings with my brother, who said that last week's dinner was pretty good, and the next one might be soon. Dad asked where Harmony was, but she had just woken up; Mom wondered about that, but even *I* know that late pregnancy makes you tired! (and my sister-in-law DOES like her sleep!)

Talked to Gino about the potluck; he thinks I'd cook something, which is definitely unlikely! Asked Quan and Julie S. if they'd seen Julie C. - "in the sanctuary during service" doesn't help, man! Discussed stuff with Eric for a bit, then said hi to Lily / Victor / Amanda / Karen I. / a sleepy baby Marcus before going upstairs for Toddler Sunday School. Saw Jessie, her kids Ramen and Shira, Anastasia, her dad Danny, baby Natalie, a new kid named Karen, Wesley, Ada (who went to the older class), Mattias, David, Evelyn, and Rachel's grandma. (I gave out a bunch of jellybeans, chocolate coins / eggs, and Easter bunnies - Jessie said I was always so thoughtful) Said hi to Frances, her sons Micah and Isaac, and her sister Sophia as well before they left. Frances hasn't seen my parents at church in a while; that's funny since I'd just talked to them a few minutes beforehand! She also wondered when I'd talked to her husband Mel about THE HUNGER GAMES: it was a FB status, hahaha. Talked to the kids about going to the bathroom (EVERYONE WENT - I even went into the men's room!), Lego, toys, noises, throwing things, and more.

Went downstairs, saw Grandma, talked to one of her friends in English, got change for my $100 bill from Uncle Adrian, and assumed Eric had left already. Geoffrey was waiting around for Uncle Hansel, anyway. Finally saw Julie C., and gave her the huge Ziploc bag of candy - I told her to share it with her mom or her friends at school after she hugged me twice. ("Oh my God - Mom, look!") Margaret was bugging Rachel about the Easter candy I'd given her, too. Said hi to Sean and Ian, as well. I was about to call Eric on the upstairs phone when he came out of a room and saw me. On our way out, I saw Auntie Grace and Uncle George. Auntie Grace asked me when the baby was due, so I told her. SO NICE!

We went to Pho and ate lunch with Jeremy, Lesley, Ivan, Alan, Tracy, and Kevin. Discussed paella, Sunday Dinners, Joe and Helen doing the Sun Run together today (someone has to look after their kids Nathaniel and Abby, though!), Billy and Stella, proposals, rings (Lily and Lesley thought Stella didn't have a great boyfriend if he was asking her to pay for everything = not knowing about the ring in his money belt), getting robbed while traveling in Thailand / Europe / other places, Prince George, school, staying up till 4 AM, Christon, Amy, Paul, Alberta, and more. They talked about transitions, Sarah C. / Emily L. / Sam / Quan / Vania / Jen / Connie / Vivian L. / Harmony, age gaps, an IRON CHEF program, planning, lawyers, Brian, and such at their meeting while I focused on the crazy Pittsburgh-Philadelphia hockey game on TV. Later, Jeremy waited for Eric to give him a cheque. On the way home, Eric and I discussed my accidentally blocking Vicky (it IS awkward like Scott says, and not easy like he thinks!) / Jason / Friday's potluck / #4 and Alderbridge / sleeping / stickers with a TELUS calendar / $5 and Jon at the Hog Shack / gum / Vivian S. / Danielle moving and other topics. Got home and blogged some of this up before taking a much-needed nap! Good thing I got up before the game started, although I still do need sleep.

Jane, Mandarin, Nell, short people, BLECH, and tones

Jane W. sent an email thanking me for my gift of a picture frame, which was nice and polite. I replied to Mandy's email as I did this morning, too. Nell J. wanted to add me on FB via the Puckheads, so why not? Corey then got on MSN to tell me that short people suck; I knew he was doing it on purpose to get me to yell at him, which I did anyway since I've missed that. Yes, I do miss the strangest things, haha! Apparently, old ladies won't get things from the low shelves for him, but that's understandable! He says he had a class on prank calls today, too. I also asked him if he'd heard about those nasty urine-cooked eggs, then we talked about Mandarin / Cantonese and McDonalds. "Well, even if the tones are right, there's still like a billion words that all have the same sound AND tone. It's not a very good system in my opinion... have more possible sounds :P Longer words, maybe... something to differentiate between all the things that sound exactly alike."
"Jane says it's because Chinese people are smarter and can tell the difference. I say it's because the person that invented it didn't think things through well enough. :P English is kind of a big mess, too, but at least our words are mostly distinguishable, and we have writing that's possible to read without years of study. Even I can say 'Happy Birthday.' :P Well, sometimes people tell me I'm perfect, and sometimes people tell me they totally can't understand me since I usually forget the tones. At McDonalds a couple times, they tried to give me #10 instead of #4 (4 is si, 10 is shi) I held my fingers up when I said it, and other people say I pronounce it PERFECTLY, so I think they were just dumb. Some people are afraid of using Chinese with me anyway, so they just switch to broken English and make mistakes. They really don't even listen to my Chinese, unless I want them to speak English... then they can't speak a word. :P"

This is what he had to say about teaching: "I had a class about prank calls today. The classes yesterday were okay, the ones today weren't that enthusiastic, but my afternoon class (which is normally dead) was extra small because it's Tomb Sweeping Day tomorrow, so not many people came. Small classes generally will talk more.  the more people that come, the quieter they get. They're mostly afraid of each other, more than me. My night class is usually terrible, but a lady that knows all my complaints recently encouraged a new girl to talk to me. That worked, and this girl is like my new best student, and now SHE is encouraging other people to talk, too... if that chain continues, we just might fix everything for a while. Last night's class was great, and I have heard about pee eggs. Blech. They say Chinese people will eat anything... that might not be literally true, but I think it's close. :P"

Then I said that I should try sleeping at 2:33 AM. He replied with, "I should try eating now. It's 5:35 PM, and I have to leave in 45 minutes to go teach my Superior class about the Razzies for two hours. It's the Superior class, and they talk a lot. I need like three hours with them regardless of the topic, most of the time. They actually use English, which is why they're in the Superior class. :P The problem with them is that they like to hear themselves talk, and don't want to listen to much of what I say. That's a better problem than my other classes, though."

Google Maps, DRAGON WARRIOR, March 2012 BBT Tally

Harmony emailed me last night to thank me for my generous gifts of the toys, sippy cup, and baby wipes; she also thanked me for coming out to the baby shower, since she and Jane had had fun! I'm sure she can use the things I gave her, hopefully! Eric tried calling me when I was in the shower, but resorted to MSN: there's been a delay, and he figures it might be best if we cancel. If he calls me later, we're still on. Sounds good to me, and I'll definitely be thinking of him! Matt shared a funny DRAGON WARRIOR / Google Maps video with me - he isn't sure it's NOT an April Fool's joke, but it made me laugh!
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<b>MONTHLY BUBBLE TEA TALLY, MARCH 2012 (2)</b>

lychee @ Big Orange (Thursday, Mar. 22)
banana @ Big Orange (Friday, Mar. 30)

Sausages and banana = phallic breakfast / Harmony and Jane's baby shower / Italian food

I had sausages and a banana for breakfast. Yes, yes, I know.... phallic symbols out the wazoo on a "religious" Sunday morning. :P Since Nada Surf's POPULAR was on the radio when Eric called, I gave him the greeting "Wash your hair every two weeks, got it?" (which could have backfired if Veronica was on the other end!) He was bemused, and told me that there surely must be other options! Of course, of course... later, he said that he'd never heard the song. On the way over, we talked about jerks / feelings / online people / Paul / "avoidance" / yesterday's wedding / my grandma's questions about him. We also established that April Fools is next week exactly (I'M NOT GETTING PUNKED IN REAL LIFE OR THE INTERNET!), and that Easter is the week following. I don't think I'll be going to Good Friday service this year since the description doesn't sound appealing... I do KNOW it's not about that, but "sitting in relative darkness and silence for 45 minutes" is not something I can do these days unless I'm trying to sleep! I also told him that I wouldn't go to curling this Friday even if there IS one more open spot, and wondered why he'd tried calling me a couple days ago. "One more opportunity to go to Bible Study" doesn't wash with ME! At least he didn't put on the Christian station this week!

At service, we learned that Auntie Rebecca would be leaving the church to return to Hong Kong since she has "received signs from God" that it's time to look after her elderly in-laws and mother. (I think we'll all miss her jolly laughter and concern!) We also learned that Micah had had fevers and seizures recently, leaving Phil and Grace VERY worried, and praying desperately! (I'd totally understand that) At least they know what to do about it now! Later, I saw ELAINE! Talked to her for a bit about China, New Hampshire (where her husband Matt's family is), starting a family because it's time, and "waiting on God to determine their next ministry step." I'll think of her a lot, and same with Auntie Rebecca! Chatted to Andrew L. about things before saying hi to Billy and his sons Benjamin and Noah. Said hi to Deb and a smiling baby Declan before trying to secure transportation to the baby shower from Tracy or Yvonne; I called Steph from the church phone (with Uncle Eugene right there) to see if she could do it. ("Go have lunch with the lards instead of sushi by yourself - it'll be free, and I can pick you up!") Tracy gave her directions and said she'd drive me, but she still had to go home and organize stuff. I didn't even ask her since I knew about that! Yvonne had the same worship meeting that Eric was going to; right after that was squared away, Eric wondered if I had a ride out of there. YES! Said hi to Amanda, Dylan, Anita, Allison, Wes / Esther / their daughter, Frances, her son Micah, and Elaine again. Elaine had to decline lunch since she's spending a lot of family time with her nieces and nephews before she moves again! UNDERSTANDABLE! Also talked to Randal about seeing Karen Choo last night; he figured that the "normal" way of contacting her was good enough, haha!

Saw Danny, Ashley, Ramen, Shira, Ada, Mattias, James, Jessie, Anastasia, and Lanie at Toddler Sunday School. James wanted to build a submarine, and Mattias wanted to build a tablecloth (?!) and a tram like the ones in San Francisco. Ashley didn't want to do much else except color her picture of the seasons and weather, which was fine. Afterwards, I secured my place at lunch with Mom, and we left pretty much right away. Said hi to Auntie Paula, Uncle Percy, Auntie Eva, Auntie Evie, Alan (who said Polly was at a choir practice - they'd been to Tsui Woo just yesterday, which IS NOT SURPRISING IN ANY WAY), Auntie Helen, and others at lunch. Mom was worried that I wouldn't get enough to eat (so she really ordered too much ha-gow / noodles / eggplant / chicken feet / green onion pancake / dim sum in general), and Denise later said that everyone was running late anyway! When Steph got there after eating lunch, people told her to eat some more, which she reluctantly did.

After getting to the party room at Tracy's place, we found MORE food in the form of fruit and veggie platters / Costco chocolate croissants / mango juice / chocolate chip cookies / other items. (we had fudge cake later) Talked to Harmony, Amy (she and Brian are getting married in August), Jane, Connie, Yvonne, Grace, Deb, Tracy (who's due in September), Denise, and Steph about various topics: CHOCOLATE IN DIAPERS! SUCKING MILK OUT OF BOTTLES! WINNIE'S KIDS! CHANGING A CREEPY BABY DOLL! THE HUNGER GAMES! CLOTH DIAPERS OR DISPOSABLE DIAPERS! BABY ISSUES! DECLAN! BABY POOLS! Dylan, Brian, Jon, and Edwin showed up after having some beers ("man shower"?!) to help with the heavy lifting and eat some food. Later, the Ngs and Ho decamped to Jon and Harmony's newer place for a few minutes while deciding what to do before dinner; we walked to Kafka's Café for the Syphon / peppermint tea (Steph got it for me) / water / coffee. We talked about hipsters, clam chowder, soccer games, Paul being unreachable (whatever!), Alan drinking wine, pregnancy, Jon singing random songs (without profanity) to the baby (who can be "Baby Ug"), Jane being a sweet girl, pre-natal fitness, chemistry, and more before busing to the dinner location.

The area at Main and Terminal brought back some Greyhound memories for me, but I'm VERY over that (kind of) relationship! Campagnolo Restaurant was pretty good; we talked about soup, pasta, pizza, grappa, Purdy's hedgehogs, hazelnut, Caesarean sections, the cervix, pregnancy, Dawn's family, Alice, Glen Clark, Uncle Daniel's family (we're SURE he has secret lunches with Megan since his wife disapproves of their son-in-law, and Phil before him!), our cousins, Eni / real estate, hockey news, Auntie Catherine and Uncle Y.C., TMI, the MOM'S BATHTUB READER which Mom got for Harmony (she didn't regift the largely-unread one I got her YEARS ago), and more. Grandma was in a worse mood than the last time we took her out for dinner, that's for sure! She doesn't like Shanghai food, but she was SMILING and laughing a couple weeks ago when it was just the younger family members! At least I survived the busy weekend, and have the rest of this week to regroup before SATURDAY!

Purdy's, peace and quiet, hermitude, and crazy weekends

Went to Richmond Centre this afternoon to get a 3-pack of Purdy's chocolate hedgehogs for Lisa to try - I forgot that yesterday, and I certainly won't have time tomorrow! I secured my peace and quiet for my weekly tradition (which went faster this week for some reason) when I got home with an hour to spare, too! fate_envies_us unfriended me on LJ, but I guess that's normal.

I had to laugh when Eric sent me an email about how I'd signed out on MSN and my phone was apparently disconnected / off the hook. Hey, I'm SERIOUS about my hermitude, especially right before a crazy weekend with a wedding / wedding banquet / church / double baby shower / family dinner! I think I just might continue this into next week! Thank goodness the wedding is in the afternoon; Dad says they'll pick me up at about 1 or so.

Jalapeno bagels, birthday compliments, and dollar store items

A random foreign person tried adding me to Facebook; I DON'T THINK SO! Mike T. says it's the newest tool for spam - unfortunately, I'm not surprised! Mom tried to call me, so I had to call her back if I didn't want her bugging the heck out of me all week. She says that she doesn't want me to spend money (at least they understand that), but I want to do things independently as long as it doesn't bankrupt me! Luckily, I had the wedding and baby shower gifts for Dawn and Eni / Harmony / Jane under control, but I did need to get the cards! Am I obligated to get something for Jane? I guess I should, if just a token gift... it'll be understandable if my gift for Harmony is better, of course.

Before I left to do some banking, I was responsible and paid my Shaw bill. Also tried calling Chinese Eric again, but Auntie told me that they were MOVING (?!) - well, of course he can call me back tonight if that's the case! Got a jalapeno bagel from Tim Horton's (which was pretty good), and a lychee BBT from Big Orange after I did my banking. Went to the dollar store to grab a birthday card for Dad (I hate writing upside down on envelopes!), a birthday card which made me laugh, baby shower cards for Jane and Harmony, a duck baby photo frame for Jane, two Canucks stuffed dogs (for me and BABY DRAGON), and a few gift bags for less than $25. PRIDE!


The card which made me laugh: I don't usually send birthday cards that are full of compliments, but as it's you, I'll make an exception...

Happy Birthday from the kindest, greatest, most fantastic person in the world!!

Bryan, missing easy conversation, sushi overriding BS

Talked briefly to Bryan on YM, and found myself missing easy conversation. I just have to remind myself of certain things, is all. Replied to Tracy / Grace / Denise's Evite for Harmony and Jane's baby shower, too. Christon emailed us to say that BS would be at Geoffrey's at Friday, so of course I had to reply to everyone to say that even if it weren't for the hockey game, my late-night sushi plans with a friend and her boyfriend overrode everything else. MUHAHAHAHA! I know how BS works; I would NEVER be able to make it for that AND sushi, especially as Wayne and Vanessa are picking me up! Eric would probably want to stay till at least 10 PM, too. Thank goodness my Friday plans are all intact! GOODBYE!

Passport office and penis obsessions!

My parents picked me up at 12:40, and we were off to see if the Denny's near A&W / Michaels would NOT be crowded since they had a 99-cent Grand Slam special. Of course, it was.. so they tried various Chinese restaurants while bugging me about Chinese Eric and White Eric. I prefer to keep my own counsel when it comes to those two, so gave them minimal answers. They FINALLY settled on Deer Garden near Michigan Noodle Shop / Twinkle, where I went with Auntie Ying last year. (I didn't tell them that, of course) I had Tom Yum soup base with beef and squid (coffee and tea also), and we talked about Grandma's 92nd birthday on Thursday / Russia / Facebook / bubble tea / Auntie Eva / Dairy Queen / my going out to dinner with them that night (HOCKEY, THOUGH?!) / Chung Yan / Karen I. / Mattias / Marcus / my changed sleeping schedule / Grandma's memory issues or deterioration / the Costa Rica itinerary and a coffee tour / Harmony and Jane's baby shower / Steph and Lisa / Vegas airfare and other costs. Of course Jon won't want to leave a two-week-old baby and his wife at home by the time the wedding rolls around on June 2!

From lunch, it was off to the passport office. My mom thought she'd call me on my lack of reading material, but I didn't tell her that I needed the time to think. That would have led to a bunch of questions which I'm not even sure I could answer to people I trust, let alone HER! She told me how the passport office numbers worked, which I knew already. I'm not STUPID, lady! Then she bugged me about "making peace" with Raymond, Mr. Creep, and Paul - Raymond and I are civil when we have to be, and that's good enough for me. As for the last two, I JUST DISLIKE THEM FOR GOOD REASON, OKAY?! She wanted to know WHY, but I know she wouldn't understand! I wish I had certain understanding people in my life right now, but that's not possible at this moment. Oh well. *sigh*

After my passport stuff was done with documents and payment (Mom did come through on that), we walked to Chapters to meet Dad. Mom saw Eric Tsang (Samantha and Rosanna's dad) through the window, so she talked to him for a bit while I just browsed. I saw these two Canucks hockey books which Chinese Eric might be interested in, so I should make a note to tell him! (Celebrating the 2010-2011 Season of the Vancouver Canucks [NHL] and A Thrilling Ride: The Vancouver Canucks' Fortieth Anniversary Season [Paul Chapman]) After my parents talked to Eric about his daughters and furniture, they finally dropped me back off at home. I was in time for the pre-game show! (Nashville and Vancouver) Bryan unexpectedly messaged me on YM right when the game started, but I could deal. :D



I have NO words for my mom right now...

Mom, while on the way to the passport office: "Did you see that man? He was massaging his thing!"
Me: "I don't want to know, Mom..."
Mom: "But you had to have seen it!"
Me: "...."


Mom, in the passport office: "Dad is still opposed to my getting a dog!"
Me: "Have you played with Holly's dog, Varley?"
Mom: "Well, not PLAY... I've seen him... wait. Is Varley a him or her?"
Me: "Varley's a him."
Mom: "How do you know?"
Me: "Trust me - I know these things."
Mom, without skipping a beat: " *gasp* You're dirty! ... You were looking at his THING!"
Me, in head: "WTF.... " (out loud) "NO!"
Mom: "Be quiet! People will look at you, and you'll cause a scene!"
Me, in head: "So don't SAY those things?! *grumbles and curses* "

Chronological inconsistencies, Eiffel Tower, flying into mesh (dream) / Evite

I must be strong in the midst of various things going on! Grace, Denise, and Tracy sent me an Evite to a double baby shower for Harmony and Jane, which is taking place in about a month on a Sunday... I guess I'll have to play all the games! *sigh* I also learned that I only have to look after Grandma for the 18th and the 19th, since the respite centre found space for her before then. This is good news; I hardly think I'll have a reason to drag my laptop to the townhouse then! Also had some buttermilk pancakes in honor of Mardi Gras / Fat Tuesday, hahaha.

Vanessa got on MSN to invite me to a reservation for late-night sushi (9:30-ish) with Wayne on Friday. They'll pick me up, too. That actually does sound good from a money and time standpoint, especially with the weekly tradition and the hockey game in mind! Of course, I thanked her for the invite. Gives me yet another excuse to not make it out to Fellowship, which means I should tell Eric at some point. Of course, another couple will be coming - meh, I can deal. :D


I had a weird dream which started out with my family being in Paris and inside the Eiffel Tower. There were all these mini souvenirs just lying around on the beige floors, and we were tempted to take some since they were various representations of the tower in various forms. We almost took a couple, but ultimately decided not to since we didn't want to appear like thieves. Upon exiting the tower, we were told to go down a ramp on the bottom floor which would spit us out into the parking lot. I couldn't do it, so Jon (looking as he did when he was three years old) and Grandma (in a mini naked form - I don't want to know!) decided to go with me as I ran into some black mesh separator, as seen on a screen by an elevator. We went flying off the mesh, and onto the bottom floor near escalators.

After that, I saw Eric M. out on a bench - he wanted to join us, and we had no problem with that. Grandma wanted to buy things from an outdoor supermarket, so we took her there. All the freezers and bags were outside, while some bread and such was inside. We were about to select a bunch of items when we were stopped by some workers with green aprons. They said that we weren't allowed to bring any naked people onto the premises, even if they were really tiny. We tried to argue with the workers, but to no avail. So then we met up with Jen in the store's underground parking lot, which is another time inconsistency - we didn't meet her until 2000! Dad told Mom to just go home while he took me, Eric, Jen, and Jon to the movies.

Then we went to the parking lot, which had fast-moving white cars and white lanes all over the place. We went to another crowded store which apparently was just one room, full of frozen food from Safeway. This was apparently going to be our dinner, which would be fine since the movie (something about a DARK KNIGHT prequel? TIME INCONSISTENCY!) started at 7:30. However, I noticed a sign saying that we'd be locked in the room at 7:16 even if people hadn't finished paying for / selecting the food. This was supposedly to preserve the food's integrity, despite it all being in freezers! The store clerks told us not to worry about it, so we turned our attention to selecting various bags and packages.

Finally, we made our way to the checkout line. Tim, Maxine, Joshua, and Keenan were there also. (Emma wasn't born yet in the dream, but the other two shouldn't have been there with the time!) They said hi, and gave me my birthday presents: a foam puzzle, a Matthew Good CD, and more merchandise. For some reason, I had to pay for those! The dream ended when we left the store with lots of food. WEIRD AND CRAZY! Not even sure what the triggers would be for this one, unless it was seeing some DARK KNIGHT RISES movie promo!

Taiwanese sushi, conveyor belts, Flan Princesses and Sirens

Corey asked me about the sushi I had, then said they were going out for sushi because it's Jane's mom's birthday. Sushi in Taiwan is pretty cheap, it seems!

[12/3/2011 5:46:21 AM] Leslie: I got almost a pound of brandy beans earlier, since it was only $3.27, and my friend bugged me about being drunk :P
[12/3/2011 6:08:33 AM] Corey: so how drunk are you?
[12/3/2011 6:09:32 AM] Leslie: I am perfectly sober
[12/3/2011 6:11:00 AM] Corey: well, go fix that
[12/3/2011 6:12:11 AM] Leslie: it's 6:15 AM - too early for that
[12/3/2011 6:50:10 AM] Corey: it's never too early
[12/3/2011 2:20:52 PM] Leslie: now that it's 2:20 PM, it's still too early, even if I am at home by myself :P I'm going to get some gingerbread candy canes and sushi
[12/3/2011 7:30:59 PM] Corey: what kind of sushi? we're off to get sushi too, for Jane's mom's birthday
[12/3/2011 7:32:07 PM] Leslie: nothing special - just mall sushi. I overbought on Christmas chocolate and shortbread again, too. Oh well. have fun.
[12/3/2011 7:35:02 PM] Corey: I mean what kind? like California rolls? or real sushi with raw fish? they mostly have Nigiri sushi here (a big block of rice with a big piece of fish across the top
[12/3/2011 7:36:27 PM] Leslie: roll-type, like spicy tuna roll
[12/3/2011 7:50:44 PM] Corey: those don't have enough meat, too much rice :P
[12/3/2011 7:51:29 PM] Leslie: IT'S SUSHI. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM IT, FLOWERS AND RAINBOWS?!
[12/3/2011 7:52:27 PM] Corey: fish! lots of raw fish!
[12/3/2011 7:53:13 PM] Corey: nigiri has a big piece of fish, you can barely get the whole thing into your mouth :P but if you take bites, it'll just fall apart
[12/3/2011 7:56:03 PM] Leslie: ooh, that reminds me - if you ever come over here, you need to go to a place called Samurai Sushi. now, THAT has big pieces of sushi and fish in gneral
[12/3/2011 8:04:19 PM] Corey: Sushi here is cheap. one plate (two pieces of nigiri sushi) is NT$30, like US$1
[12/3/2011 8:07:15 PM] Corey: they just measure it by plate and you take whatever you want. at the end they count the plates
[12/3/2011 8:08:08 PM] Leslie: what?! that is cheap, man. sounds like a buffet style. BUFFET SUSHI! HAHAHA
[12/3/2011 8:08:33 PM] Leslie: and after I finish with this Gigas Worm, I'm taking a shower. back later.
[12/3/2011 8:10:53 PM] Corey: they have a conveyor belt that moves around, and you grab what you want. it's better to ask them to make things for you, though.. same price, and you get exactly what you want... but still, if you see something go by, you can take it
[12/3/2011 8:11:36 PM] Leslie: I've seen that kind of setup before, too... we never used it since the sushi there seemed to be more expensive than the other stuff which was actually on the menu :P


I was getting 700 Sirens yesterday because these guys CAN drop Pink Tails (which can be swapped for Adamant Armor at the Adamant Grotto) for everyone in the FINAL FANTASY IV party, albeit super-rarely:

AC/DC shirts at church - PHOTO EVIDENCE!

When Eric picked me up this morning, we discussed my "devil shirt" and the even more offensive Slayer T-shirt that Steve L. linked me to once / yesterday's BBQ / Cindy knowing what he had to tell him from me / my being "crazy and drunk" / tonight's dinner and my shock that he and Jeremy would be invited / FINAL FANTASY / PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES / DARKWING DUCK / real life / my negative associations with DONKEY KONGA / Go Fish (the card game) / Dylan, Deb, Mike, Mary (Eric doesn't know her last name?!), Christon, and more people helping with the BBQ (NOT Mr. Creep, though!) / the long day from 1:30 to 10:30 / watermelon / kids. I'm glad I didn't go, since I needed the downtime! I got to church and saw Steph and Harmony sitting together - I was just going to sit by Tracy on the other end of the pew, but saw Mr. Creep a row up, so I couldn't get out of there fast enough! Ended up sitting near Dave and Yvonne, who said hi - Shally joined them a while later. Steph came up to me, and wanted me to sit by them like sisters; no, because I didn't want to see Mr. Creep every time I looked up!

After service, I gave Mike K. his birthday card and Post-Its; he thanked me, said he expected a card from me every year, and said that the Post-Its would go towards school or plastering someone's car with them! Hahahaha, I've seen those pictures on the Internet also! Steph said that I'd embarrassed her and Harmony because they thought I was moving to sit near them, so of course they did a "seat shuffle" to accommodate it! I got Steph to take my picture in the AC/DC shirt (making sure the cross was visible in the background), and I noticed Eric giving me a weird look - HEY, YOU KNOW THAT I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SOME TIME, THANKS TO STEVE L. AND MIKAELA! After that, Mom told Steph and Harmony to find me a man, SOON! Of course I let out a "WHAT?!" reaction which was probably heard by a bunch of Chinese people... oh well. Later, I talked to Lily / little Gavin / little Allison thinking that people are on vacation if she doesn't see them at church (like Joey?!) / Anita W. / Hannah L. / Jeremy ("nice shirt") / Jose / Jane / Ada / Karen Y. / Helen K. / Nicholas / little Cory / Victor / Chris T. / Sheena (on crutches since she fractured her leg playing tennis) / Anita T. / Andrew L. / Nathan. Yeah, Steph and Lisa can pick me up to save Nate some time! (then they'll pick up Mom's widow friend Rita, who had knee surgery?!)

Steph and I talked to Karen and Lincoln for a bit - I will get Steph to bring the menstrual tea tonight since we need a picture of that and the menopause tea! After I moved to give Maxine some room since she was carrying baby Emma, I went upstairs to Toddler Sunday School since I'd be bored if I waited around for Eric. Waved hi to Gino, and saw Chrystal - yes, we're still on for Tuesday night! Ada, Ashley, Arthur, David, Evelyn, Alexis, and Anastasia were there along with Auntie Ying and Rachel's grandma. Talked about "happy snail," planes, going down slides backwards, toys, heart drawings, name spellings, Lego, shiny silver shoes, and more prior to Eric coming upstairs to get me since he had brunch with his parents. On our way out, I waved to Jeff and baby Joanna. We discussed zombies / combines / headcrab, a STARCRAFT starter kit, DISTRICT 9, BREATH OF FIRE, roms, my metal music Youtube playlist, Children of Bodom, GWAR, AFI, Cradle of Filth, Elizabeth thinking Ministry was a Christian band (HAHAHA), "evil music," the Christian radio station (the music wasn't hurting my shirt!), Third Day, HALF-LIFE 2 / toilets / blood / throwing toilets at people, Christmas music, SUPER MARIO RPG, and more.

Bad Baby Names, Part IX: Bad Baby Names From You!

Part IX: Bad Baby Names From You!

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I have come across two names that had me scratching my head recently. One was a bank teller's name - Sharmonica. Another was the name of a customer - Cherith. Sounds like she has a speech impediment, doesn't it?

Update! Reader Allison points out Cherith is in the Bible. It's not the name of a person, however, but the name of the brook God commands Elijah to go sit and wait by. (1 Kings 17:3) As he hides there, God sends ravens twice a day to bring him food. After a while, the brook dries up and God tells Elijah to move on to a widow's house. Then, to add to God's "Simon Says" game with Elijah, he orders him to go talk to Ahab. Then they outfit the Pequod with mighty harpoons and start seeking the white whale. (OK, I made up that last part.)

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And here's my unique name story. A sweet, wonderful, elderly couple we once shared a house with for a short time, Wade and Maxine, had only one daughter, so they decided to name her after *both* parents...

Yes, you guessed it, her name is Wadine.

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Someone here on base is named Deanne. Now, wouldn't you think it's pronounced Dee-Ann since that's exactly how pretty much everyone named Dee-Ann spells it? But no, it's Dee-nah.

Sometimes names are frustrating.

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Ha, that reminds me of a guy my husband went to school with... Keni (pronouned Kee-na)...go figure :)

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(The mom in the following post complained, wanting it removed. She complained I was violating her copyright, which I disagree with - it's fair use if it's for critique. I even offered to put her individual copyright on the post. She complained to my hosting company instead, so to prevent any further problems, this one is no longer a direct quote; I'm paraphrasing.)

I didn't enjoy the bad baby names pages because the first one I saw was D'Artagnan, which is the name of my son. His nickname is "Tag," so we don't think the name's difficult pronunciation is an issue. Most children seem not to notice his unique name, but adults can be rude. When I was a child, many other children had the same name as me, which I didn't like. I accept not everyone likes my choices of names, but I am upset when I think they are being rude.

My children's names are Bayne, Quillon, Griffon, and D'Artagnan.

Now I have to interject that it is interesting to hear from someone whose kid's name (or rather, whose naming of their kid) I've poked fun at. And I'm interested to hear further reasons from this writer why she went so far as to give her kids names so different they will never, ever meet anyone with the same name, ever, let alone have to suffer through being Quillon G.

Seriously, if you're out there, I really want to know how you found these names, what the other candidates were, and how your family and others react to them. What sort of things do they do that are mean, and did you anticipate this, or were you caught off guard?

'Cause I know I'm just continuing the cycle of meanness, but they sound like houses from Hogwarts to me.

And on the topic of being a Jane R., I once had a class in which there were two Dianas (including me), two Dianes, a Deena, a Dana and a Diandra, out of a class of 30. Seeing as this was gym class, though, I loved it, because it made it hard to keep track of us, so I could disappear for an hour and avoid yet another lifeless game of softball without getting in trouble.

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LOL... I was wondering if I would find my daughters' names.

Carolyn

Mama to Avellana

Merryn

Liadan

Reader Kathryn wrote in from Spain after doing the research I was far too lazy to do. In Spanish, Avellana means two things: As a noun, it means "hazelnut." As a verb, it means "he / it countersinks."

Those two ideas paint such a wonderful absurdist picture, I'm sure Salvador Dali is somehow behind it.

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Let's discuss the concept of naming your kid after where they're conceived, shall we?

(Answer: We shall!)

• 
  
  If I'd named 'em for where they were most likely conceived, well, Paula would have to be called "Mt. Graham" for the camping trip my husband and I were on... and Joe? Well, I think Joe would now be named, ahem, Ford! (blushing furiously here!)

  
  

• 
  Okay, if we're going with truth in advertising.... My eldest would be "Billiards," my middle child would be "Gramma's-house-on-Christmas-Eve," and my youngest would be "Trampoline". :-O
  

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I had a friend named Bell whose parents nearly gave her the first name of Liberty. Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed.

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Awww.... Stone wasn't even on there! LOL! :)

Tracy, proud momma to Stone and Emmelia

I'll add it if you explain how your daughter's name is pronounced. I came up with four or five ways (all of them pretty, don't get me wrong.)

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I should set up an Internet business selling UK placenames to idiot parents-to-be. Nottingham Forest (except you'd spell that Forrest). Preston... oh, that's already commonplace. Prestatyn then? Rhyll? Formby? Whitby?

But British names make people sound so cultured and classy! That's what I tell my son Milton Keynes and my daughter, Berwick-on-Tweed.

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A friend of mine worked in a hospital, and would check the nursery every day for names - he has a list a mile and a half long - my favorite that I remember was "Espe Do Wop Jones!"

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A lady in my exercise class announced that they were thinking of the name Drake. Without even thinking (and really, I wasn't sarcastic at all), I said "Like a male duck?" She didn't really talk to me after that, and that is what they named him.

And then there's my friend at work. She tells me that her brother had a baby girl and named her Wren. I said "like and Stimpy?" She laughed and said that that was what all the 15-30 year olds in the family asked, and then explained that it was like the bird. Apparently, my friend's mother went on a 20-minute rant on the plane about it - "everyone will call her Birdie" etc., and then found out the woman next to her was named Birdie - oops!

I keep trying to remember a name that had us in stitches when I worked for a mortgage company. It was a biology term that was pretty awful, but I can't remember what it was. There was a Kaliope (which I HOPE was Calliope), every single misspelling that you can imagine for every name.

I also went to school with a guy whose middle name was Jerome and insisted that it was pronounced Jeremy, and the Sherry who insisted it was pronounced Cheri (as in the French word).

C - who thought she was picking less common, older names and now knows four 4-year-olds with the same name as my four-year-old, and the doctor's office has 4 other patients with the same first and last name of my second.

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I see MY kids' names on there! I can see it now..."Connor? Logan? and where the heck did they get MCKENNA??!!

Deanna (pronounced Dena - my mom couldn't get a name right, either!)

This one gave me pause for a second, 'cause I thought it was an ex-boyfriend's aunt. But no, it's just eerily close; her kids are Keegan, Logan, and McKenna. Two out of three, and number three is pretty close.

And yes, I really do want to know where people are getting McKenna.

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Just to show names do matter, a young man named Crovosier Carpenter, a Seattle native, hijacked the #42 bus and got it up to 75 mph on city streets, hitting 5 cars before running off the road. At his court appearance, he blamed his actions on the "shrem" he had been smoking. (cigarettes dipped in embalming fluid)

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I was born in the early 60's and went to school with a bunch of kids named Jennifer, Denise, Matt, and Mike. My sister was born in the late 60's and went to school with kids named Rain, Autumn, Mountain, Tree (I do not jest!), and Orion. Better access to drugs in 1968 than in 1962 is responsible for this change, I guess...

What interests me is that the new round of names (at least among the 30/40-somethings I know naming babies now) have an incredible number of syllables and the sound of a family name, where no family name may exist -- Not Henry (that was so 1995!), but Harrison, not Gary (who would name a kid "Gary"?), but Garrison. There is Jackson, Jefferson, Jamison, Jerrison... WHEN WILL IT END???

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I know a couple who were considering the name "Fritha" if their baby was a girl. A family friend commented, "what are they -- Vikings?" Turns out this is a real name, but it's still absurd.

And I just found out another couple I know named their baby girl "Montana." The dad's from there, but that is NO EXCUSE!

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My aunt will kill me for posting this...

Here's what she named her kids: Bow Hunter Blake Lydell Marshall Cody

All of 'em are boys.

Is your aunt married to Ted Nugent? 'Cause if not, I bet he'd be happy to adopt Bow Hunter.

This town was mighty lawless 'til Marshall Cody come to town.

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Sadly, this is a true story. A young (very young) girl had a baby in the hospital where a friend of mine works as a nurse. The nurse asked the young girl for the baby's name for the birth certificate. The girl replied that the baby's name would be (pronounced) Ah-shol-ee. The nurse wasn't sure how to spell it, so of course she asked the young mom to spell it for her. A-S-S-H-O-L-E. Asholey is how she's saying it, but that's how she wanted it spelled. My friend turned to this young girl's mom, showed her the paper, and said, "This is how your daughter wants to spell the baby's name." The mom said it was fine. They would not change their mind. Apparently there is a little girl living in Connecticut named Asshole.

This has all the hallmarks of an urban legend, but since "Asshole" for "Ah-shol-ee" is tame compared to some of the other spellings, I'm keeping it in.

Update! Reader Melissa points out that while Asshole is probably an urban legend, "ah-sho-lay" is pretty close to a real name: Sholeh ("sho-lay") is a Middle Eastern name, from the Farsi word for "flame." And, in my opinion, it's also really pretty. If, of course, you have some sort of connection with the Middle East, and aren't adopting the "random word" naming technique.

Bad Baby Names, Part III: Easy to be Scarred

Part III: Easy to be Scarred




I m thinking of naming my baby Vashara Rashea.

That sounds ominously close to part of the chant to summon the demon Pazuzu!

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Brittany after the statue - Brittania

'Cause nothing in, say, France is called Brittany. Nothing big like a province. Nothing else in England called Britannia, either. Nothing big like... England.

Their hatred of this particular woman is the only thing England and France have agreed on since 1066.

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We like the name Loudon for a boy - Loudon Phillips (although we don't have a middle name yet). I can't decide if this is too different. I think it's "cool" as it reminds me particularly of a drummer or some type of musician.

Um..... yeah. Hope they don't mind being called London or Loudy until their untimely spontaneous combustion / vomit-choking / freak gardening accident.

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What does everyone think of Atticus Charles? Girl's name, Aubriana Kai. Older sister is Cassandra Jane, deceased older brother was David Thomas.

I think he'd grow up to shoot a mad dog in the street in a moment revealing the barbarity of even the most civilized in society.

Aubriana would grow up to shoot lasers from her fingers and join the X-Men.

Either way, they're set for life what with their late brother's popular fast food chain.

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I have two boys and a baby on the way... I am hoping it is a girl. My boys are Skyler Wayne and Austin Edward. I don't even know where to start with a girl. If it is a boy, I like the name Dalton.

He'll have a wonderful childhood as his brothers attract all the abuse. He can grow up to be a retail book seller!

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Hi! My name is Kasandra! It is the best name in the world! You all should name your baby girls that! I am a Greek goddess! I see the future, but no one listens to me!

---Kasandra

I'm sorry, did you say something?

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I grew up with a "grown-up" name (Victoria) and a "kid" name (Tori), as did my sister. I have always liked having both available.... so we plan on naming our firstborn son Creighton.

At last! A breath of logic! When he's little, he can be called.... Crate of Shit. Or One-Ton Creighton. Or Mr. Defies the I before E rule. And when he's older, you won't know what he's called, 'cause you won't be on speaking terms.

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What about Bubba for a boy? A great unusual name!

Since when did your Ozark shack get Internet access? Or electricity, for that matter?

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I am 7 months pregnant, and I am having a boy. I think I'm going to name my son Kakinston. What do you think... ??

Besides sounding like a former Central Asian Soviet republic bordering Uzbekistan, it aids small bullies immensely starting the kid's name with KACK.

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I like the unique names like....
For a boy: Ezra or Solomon (from the Bible)

But my husband hates Ezra! I really like Ezra. It is so strong and manly!

I don't know. I'm sure you can find a name better than Ezra. (Zing!)

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I have an unusual name (Sharmari), and I hated it as a child. As I grew older, I appreciated it for what it was... the first gift my mother had given me....

Wait, wasn't that LIFE ITSELF?

And I still haven't met anyone with the same name-Sharmari, pronounced SHAR-Marie.

Sharmari, where the Sharmy keepsh itsh weaponsh.

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My husband wants to name our baby Arnold because that's his first name. I can't stand the name! Any way to talk him out of it, or any ideas on nicknames besides Arnie?

Hmm... another woman with a closet hatred of her husband... I'm starting to wonder if it's hormones that trigger biological clock-ticking or PCP.

And nicknames for Arnold besides Arnie... Um... yeah.

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I want to name my child December Lynn. I love the name December, but my husband thinks that it isn't a good name because it is also a month...!

Is it? Since when?

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I just found out that I am expecting a baby girl! While I have a boy's name picked out (Guillermo junior, after his daddy... for backup, lol, cause those doctors arent always right!) I'm debating between a few girl's names. Tell me what you think.

Lorelei Jakarta (yes, I know it's an Indonesian city, but I think it's exotic)

Beyonce Noelle

Heaven Starr

Yes. Exotic. As exotic as martial law. Meanwhile, in your madness, you've gone and concocted one of the best Playmate names ever.

You know, we never would have known the origin of Guillermo Jr. if she hadn't explained - IT'S AFTER HIS FATHER. HIS FATHER!!!!! It's so funny, I'll LOL.

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Hello everyone! I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and I know I have a lot of time to think on a name. However, the father of the baby is no longer around. I have two older sons whose names are Aaron James, and Andrew Michael... no, I didn't have one thought at the time that they both started with "A's." But since so many think so, I would like to name this next child with an "A" name. I have found Alyssa, Alexia, Alea, Abigail that I like. Last input from father of baby was "going to break the cycle of the "A" name thing?" .... Ugh! Men! What do you think, any good advice for me?

Would like something not so common. Help!

Ugh! Men! Obviously the thing you should be most annoyed with right now is that he thinks you shouldn't give it a theme name because people make mistaken assumptions about the process by which you named the other kids! Not that that's the last thing he said before skipping out on your pregnant ass. No, that's not so bad. But Ugh! Men!

Update! Reader Timothy puts a nice fine point on it: "Though Alexia sounds like a pretty name for a girl, Alexia is actually an inability to read, caused by brain damage."

So maybe she should consider another A name. Something pretty. Like Amnesia.

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I think it's good to name your baby a name different from anyone else baby, because there is so many people who have the same name your baby have or it's very difficult. Also, it's hard to name your baby a different name, because when you think that no-one have that name there will be someone who have the same name your baby have when think you have named your baby different. so, you really can't have any name that's different from anyone unless it's something made up.

Judging from this entry, I think this person named their child "Have."

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Also like these, but probably won't use:

Kylah Elizabeth, Kaylee Madicyn, Kelsee Myriah

How 'bout Kaylee Madi-SIN, so she can become a featured stripper at the Lusty Lady?

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Owen James

Wyatt James

Mason James

Wanted dead or alive for robbery of Wells Fargo stagecoach!

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Well, I have no kids yet, but my choice of names are:

Charlie-Love (girl)

Javan-Taylor (boy)

Colby-Donal (boy)

Morgan-Leigh - boy or girl

That's just a few ideas... let me no wat u think?

I thnk yur on crak.

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Thazel is a name I've wanted to use for either a boy or a girl. Is that name too weird? It's a combination of my grandmothers who passed away just three weeks apart. (Thelma and Hazel)

"So where'd you get that interesting name, Thazel?"

"A string of mysterious tragedies. Now I'm haunted by two bickering old ladies from far beyond the grave."

"Oh, that's nice."

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We have a 4 year old girl named Luna, and I'm 8 months pregnant now from a boy.

(I should think so!)

We were thinking about:
Lucca (He lives on the second floor.)

Matteo

Milan

Mathio

Keanu (Duuuuuude!)

Could someone suggest us some other special names for a boy, please...

Sure! Triste! Firenze! Roma! Venezia! Vespa! Con Carne! Bicicletta! Amontillado! Vente-uno! Coloseo! Proscutto! Cavalleria Rusticana! Parmagiana! Ponte Veccio! Stronzo! Espresso! Dean Martin!

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I named my first daughter Odessa and my second daughter Blaze, and I have gotten wonderful comments from parents at school and work.

Could it be because all the parents at school and work are ALSO Louisiana strippers?

Odessa. Nothing like a kindergartener named after a deeply impoverished Ukrainian town sniffing distance from Chernobyl and home to one of the worst pogroms of the Holocaust. How 'bout Dachau if it's a boy?

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My father-in-law has talked me into naming my new baby boy "Ovie Cecil [last name] IV." I really don't care for the name, but I'm willing to name him that if I have a good nickname. I need help!!

Don't worry. You never could have seen it coming when you married Ovie Cecil III.

He can always grow up to be an off-Broadway theater award!

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It seems to me that the name "Scatman" is a great one. you know: after semi-singer and comedian Scatman Crothers.

I keep envisioning having a son named Scatman. I can imagine everyone he meets saying, 'What a cool name.' Which is good, because that way they'll have something to like about him even if his personality is really off-putting. Or if he's shallow or a bully when he's like 13, when he should be getting into punk rock or something. At least they'll think he has a hip name.

But don't use it, because I thought of it.

Damn! But your arguments are so compelling! If he grows up to be an asshole, people will still like him. And if he's a meek nerd, no one will POSSIBLY find something mean to call him as his name is already a toilet insult.

And then Jack Nicholson will hit him in the chest with an axe.

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I really like Freddie Prinze Jr., and heard his father was famous and died tragically. What was his name?

His name was Scatman.

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... and finally:

My last name is Tinkletop. For some reason, my wife objects to naming our son Timothy - Timmy for short. I think it's a good, memorable name.

You're right.

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Word Facts for June 4-10, 2011

Word origin for the weekend of June 4-5, 2011: Afghanistan - The -stan part is easy: it means "the country of" in several Central Asian languages. But what of the Afghan? "Afghanistan" enfolds an uncomfortable, ever-shifting alliance of tribes, the most populous of which (the Pushtuns) make up about 40 percent of the population. None of the tribes is called "Afghan," though the country's currency is. The name is a curiosity apparently coined by British administrators who hoped that a common name might create a unified country - something that hasn't quite worked out.

Word origin for June 6, 2011: marijuana - Wacky tabacky, weed, marihuana, Mary Jane - the mildly narcotic plant known scientifically as Cannibis sativa has been called countless names. One, in the language of the Carib Indians of Central America, was maraguan. The Spanish heard that as the woman's name Maria Juana, which has given rise to abundant spellings over the centuries.

Word origin for June 7, 2011: mummy - Not the British word for mother, but that of an embalmed body, "mummy" takes its name from the Arabic mumiya, which in turns comes from the root mum, meaning the wax used in the embalming process. The word first appears in English in about 1400.

Word origin for June 8, 2011: You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours - Artemus Ward, the pen name of nineteenth-century writer Charles Farrar Brown, was a master of homespun expressions, in this instance one that suggests a relationship of mutual benefit. Ward/Brown borrowed the sentiment from the French philosopher Montaigne, but the turn of phrase is unmistakably American.

Word origin for June 9, 2011: paisley - A standby of the psychedelic era and a favorite in hippie revivals ever since, "paisley" has its origins in the century before. A textile mill in the Scottish town of Paisley specialized in making the cloth, which originally took only one form and was thus called a "Paisley shawl." Designers eventually figured out other uses, and "paisley" became more widespread throughout the nineteenth century.

Word origin for June 10, 2011: Play it again, Sam. - In the early 1970s, college audiences rediscovered the 1942 film Casablanca, in which a young Ingrid Bergman asks a pianist to play a favorite tune, As Time Goes By. "Play it once, Sam," she says, adding (a couple of lines later) "Play it, Sam." By some alchemy, Woody Allen heard the word "again" in the exchange, and he called a film of his from 1972 Play It Again, Sam - a misquotation that has lived on ever since.