Blogging, oatmeal, oranges, being geeky, quizzes

Heh, I heard that someone scored a natural hat trick against the Leafs - whee! The Canucks won 4-3 in overtime today against the Sharks: VERY GOOD, since Cheechoo scored with 33 seconds left in regulation time! Now they face the Stars in Round 1 of the playoffs - the kids' hockey pool just got more intense if such a thing is possible, haha.

Checked blogs again: Randal has a bit of a meditation theme going with Genesis / creation seeming to be the theme - hey, I just skimmed it even though I have lots of time to read every word! Oatmeal and wearing hats, indeed.... I can predict certain reactions again. (then again, my brother claims he saw him last night at service - well, he would have been sitting behind me if he were there, and I didn't see him anyhow!) Then again, there are struggles everyone has to go through each day of the week. Interesting stuff, which maybe I'll read more of later on. In this Internet universe, you're only as current as your last post maybe, and once it's in the past... well, Google can find it, as I've learned a number of times. Ouch. Then he has stuff about Easter and weird memories about oranges: I have my own weird orange-related memories, but that's stuff for another post. As for hamsters, I remember playing with Fidela's hamster in her huge basement: THE BALL WITH A HAMSTER IN IT IS NOT A SOCCER BALL FOR KICKING AROUND, DAD! o_O (can't ever remember feeling sad when house plants died, though!)

Vivian thinks that Translink are miracle workers sometimes (true!), and wants her sister to hook her up with a hobbit, haha. We'll see on that one, although Facebook gives her nothing to read... and here I thought your email inbox would get bombarded with every little thing your friends are doing on there! Maybe not, but if I were getting notified of every time my friends join / leave groups (for example) and I had a LOT of them, I might get annoyed! She can read this for lots of words, but I wouldn't be surprised if people just skim these. I've never really been one for short concise posts, even if older Blogger posts give that impression. You should see my offline journals from that time and earlier! SO MUCH WRITING!

Dave just rants about pigeons, has a picture of a juicy steak, and has a few sentences about programming thrown in for flavor. Dawn has reflections about getting skewered at work - oh my. Alyssa has stuff about WORLD OF WARCRAFT (geek!), Cadbury Mini Eggs, a Friday Feast, working, quitting her job and not being treated fairly, growling babies (oh my), and pixel quilting. I think I'll see what's up at Facts About Multiples, since it's been finally updated after four months - yay, now it's MY turn to be a geek! :D


Here are some quizzes, since I wouldn't be me without them!

Your Travel Personality Is: Easygoing

When you travel, you're looking for a lot of downtime. Vacations are your chance to recoup. All you need is a scenic spot and plenty of time on your hands. You'll figure out the rest. You're not one to make lots of plans when you travel. You just follow whatever path seems right.

What's Your Travel Personality?

You Are the Middle Finger

A bit fragile and dependent on your friends, you're not nearly as hostile as you seem. You are balanced, easy to get along with, and quite serious. However, you can get angry and fed up with those around you. And you aren't afraid to show it! You get along well with: The Index Finger Stay away from: The Pinky

What Finger Are You?

HAHAHAHA! YAY! :D

You're gonna make one TIRED new investment banker, Ricky!

Eric, Sam, Joey, and I made the worst decision ever at Pho considering the hot weather: WE ORDERED LARGE SOUP DISHES! I gave Daniel his birthday card - he thanked me, and put it in Michelle's purse so he wouldn't lose it. Sam and Joey were apparently having an eating contest, and Sam wanted a five-minute head start. Steph was telling the other table about her bra story, and had to retell it when Phil and Grace walked in with Jon when we were finishing up! Our table discussed Isabel's pronunciation of "lychee," and also discussed pig's blood (EW!) and intestines / durian / rambutan / coconut drinks. The coconut drink had one piece only, and it looked like a Kleenex: "It looks like she blew her nose and left it in there!" Thanks for the visual, Mike / Christon... it's not like we're trying to EAT DINNER here or anything! According to Sam, you're not Chinese if (like Joey) you've never had pig's blood or intestines! Isabel's visual of "hockey pool fighting" involved hockey players fighting in a swimming pool - the guys were discussing 300, Blades of Glory, IMAX, movie ratings (18A and illegal stuff?), ways to keep the teens occupied tonight, etc.

Returned to the church after paying for our meals, and encountered some of the kids doing the 30-Hour Famine this year: Olivia and Michelle seemed to be bugging Andrew, while I saw Gabriel go upstairs. Stanley arrived at church with nothing, since he says he doesn't really sleep or need stuff - okay, then! Watched people come in for the Good Friday service as the worship team prayed, and talked to Jen / Karen Choo / some of the teens. Kept a lookout for my usual seatmate: he was there, all right. Didn't really matter where we sat, so I talked to Ricky for a while about his new job in Hong Kong: investment banking when you're really jet-lagged and your Chinese sucks? Man, that doesn't sound like the best way to start a new venture... hopefully, it doesn't count against him TOO much! I was also looking out for someone else so I could bug him about not seeing the movie with us since it wasn't really what the previews made it out to be (crotch shots!), but I didn't see him... next week it is, haha! After I gave Phil his late birthday card, I talked to Danielle and Grace about the addictive nature of Facebook: they tell me never to get on there since it sucks all your time away. I can believe it! (Grade 3 classmates contacting you, learning about high school friends' engagements / weddings on there.... it is CRAZY!)

Switched up things with people a little, which was cool. Citrus and Danielle sat in front of us, while Connie / Winnie / baby Megan / Cindy / Dianne sat in the row behind us. At one point during the service, Danielle was trying to make eye contact with Megan and wave hi. She wasn't noticing much, so Jeremy decided to be silly and pretend HE was Megan with a baby face and wave to match, haha. Danielle just smiled and shook her head, while I just playfully hit him on the arm and laughed: "Not YOU.. the baby!" He just laughed to himself for a bit, heh... at least he confirmed that he was going to Sunrise on Sunday! (definitely good to have a cool person there, haha) Mike was helping Sam's brother Jeremy do the Powerpoint for the service - maybe it's what he wants to do later on, or they had no one else to really help since the ten people who would know how to do it were already on stage! (LARGE worship team with everyone up there!) We had to place lit tealight candles in a tray full of water: lovely fire hazard, although not as bad as the times we were all sitting in the pews HOLDING lit candles and stuff!

After the service, I was going to look for someone when Karen Choo asked me for feedback on the refreshments she planned to serve next week. Apple cider is good, but not really seasonally appropriate; almond jello needs a break; and maybe the curry stuff can make a reappearance. She says she values my opinion since I have this long-time perspective - I guess it's true. Says she's seen the pictures from last weekend, which I wish I had a link to: maybe I'll ask my sister, since she'll be at church all night! Then again, she also gave me an open invitation to dinner at Pho on Friday nights since she / Jen / Andrea are usually there at 6-ish. We DID see them leave today while we were eating, and past history also tends to bear that out: I'll keep that noodle shop in mind, heh. Said hi to Eunice and Eddie, and asked Karen Lew if she was looking forward to the cruise: too far away, she says. I reminded her that we'd have to GET UP VERY EARLY - hopefully, we can sleep as soon as we're allowed into our rooms on the ship! Jon and I talked to Danielle about her dissertation and trip to Boston last week: 12 pages finished out of some insane number?! Man!

A bunch of us were talking about Sunrise Service, and Steph asked Darren whether it had been HIS car that had showed up JUST as we were all leaving for breakfast last year. (sparked by Danielle's announcement that SHE HAD TO GO PEE RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF LOITERING AT VAN TECH!) Yup, and it was apparently all Joey's fault since he didn't react favorably to Erin calling him at 6 AM: "Why are you calling me NOW? Go away..." Joey told me that it must suck to live in Richmond when the service came around since we had to leave at 6 - Mike can just leave at 6:15, for example! Yeah, but we learn to deal with it! Ivan, young Jeremy, Esther, Danielle, Steph, Citrus, Eric, and I were sitting around discussing grad photos / Sharpies / the bra story. "Just try it in your room when you get home! See if your bra is aerodynamic! I think now that it'll just go PLOONK when you try to throw it anywhere!" The guys were very impressed with this advice to the ladies from our resident bra-thrower, haha... Citrus: "I should record this!" Anita was bugging her about it, but my sister wouldn't show her since she was married and might think non-charitable things!

I told Amos to look for me on Sunday since I had cookies for him and his brother. (and chocolate Easter eggs for the kids and others - hope they haven't melted too much in the apartment's heat!) On second thought, that maybe wasn't the greatest thing to say when everyone around him was participating in the 30-Hour Famine. Oh well... Vania and Isabel were eating giant strawberries and these big eggs that looked like marshmallows almost in front of Hilary, Margaret, Hien, Sarah, and others who were fasting too! (Sam, Joey, and others were discussing bubble tea in front of them!) I gave William a bit of advice (first time!), watched some of the guys play hockey downstairs (one of the bathrooms was out of paper towels), and told Jon to help Eric with the closing of the audio-visual equipment after they were done noodling on guitar and such. Nathan has been up for 36 hours in a row, with only a 7-minute break for sleep: that Langley drive is long, with highways and "I don't need to think about it" type of stuff. Dude, SLEEP!

Daniel was telling Esther that Chinese people looked younger than their age, so he used Eric as an example of a white man who looked his age. "How old are you... 30?" NO! As Eric told us, "I'm 25 and I look 30?! Oh my..." That was funny! Lesley encouraged Steph since she'd be staying at the church all night with the teens: the ability to pull (almost) all-nighters decreases steadily with age, and it takes way longer (a week?) to recover from just ONE, so you have to think about whether you want to do so! On the way home, Eric constantly thought he'd fall asleep, except at the gas station: he slapped himself in order to stay awake, and Jon offered to do the same. NO, IT'LL MAKE HIM FLINCH AND WE MIGHT DIE! I just contented myself with clapping close to his face, heh. He went to bed at 2 and woke up at 9, an hour after his alarm... I guess that wasn't enough sleep, or maybe running didn't help with that. (a week from Sunday!)

I suppose the stress around planning the movie didn't help, since he couldn't contact my sister till 12:20 or so! (she was downstairs at Viv's, and didn't leave her phone on... she also thought he'd pick me up first before going back to get her, which wouldn't make sense!) Jon said something about death coming, so I said that reminded me of a song called Death Comes Ripping: he thought it was by Cannibal Corpse, but I said that it was by the Misfits. (of course he's heard of them!) He was trying to determine who would go to Sunrise Service this year: all the hardcore people like the Richmond Crew, Joey, Phil, Grace, some of the teens, Mike, etc. Then he figured that Jeremy wasn't coming, so I said that he'd told me earlier tonight that he was: yay, one more for our numbers! ABC roundabout, here we come with Vanessa! Now I'm just updating Corey on things, having threated Eric with a bunch of the usual before HE went to bed. (he gets on MSN and sends me something, so of course my instant response is "GO TO BED." hahaha)

Wood Chippers / Desert Death / Mrs. Fields Peanut Butter Cookies

Today's Stupid Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Jeremiah Sanders, owner of J's Quality Tree Service, was pulled into a large industrial wood chipper Tuesday afternoon, August 15, 2006 in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin when he attempted to free a log jammed in the machine. Pleasant Prairie police spokesman Pete Jung said Sanders was pulled all the way through the chipper while co-workers tried unsuccessfully to stop the machine. James Bennett, who had hired Sanders to clear branches out of his backyard in the 8900 block of 26th Ave. and witnessed the entire accident, said he couldn't believe how fast it happened. "Shut it off! Shut it off!" the 81-year-old had yelled when he saw the machine grab Sanders' foot. But, he said, the ordeal was over 20 seconds later.

Randolph Sanders said his brother's 21-year-old nephew was one of five crewmen trying to stop the machine. The nephew told him that the safety bar that is supposed to reverse the chipper's teeth failed to engage. "There's almost eight feet of bar there to grab," Randolph Sanders said. "Jeremiah and his nephew were both pushing on the bar at one point, but it wouldn't reverse." Sanders said his brother had just gone into business on his own last year and was using borrowed, unfamiliar equipment. Jeremiah Sanders was the youngest son in a family of 11 brothers and sisters, all of whom live in Kenosha. The avid duck and goose hunter had two daughters, ages 4 and 7, and another child on the way. Sanders said that, especially for the sake of the children, he had reminded his brother often to be safer around wood chippers. "It was stupid of him to put his foot in there, but the machine shouldn't have been there, either," Randolph Sanders said, adding that he hopes the accident compels someone to enforce yearly inspections of such equipment.

Culled from: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Generously submitted by: Amy

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I'd hate to get pulled in feet first... there's a lot of suffering to happen before you lose consciousness! And call me cruel, but I personally think the tree stump grabbed his foot and pulled him in when it found out that he was one of 11 siblings, and already had two kids with one on the way! There's a reason why so many trees are chopped down, after all!

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Morbid Science Project Du Jour!

Now here's a science project that I would be proud to call my own! Lil Sparky!

Thanks to Shifter for the link.

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My Brush With Morbidity

Now, here's an especially harrowing brush with morbidity!

"Death In The Desert" by Jenny

"I'm back from Vegas. It was an exhausting trip. I was there for 3 1/2 days and had only 3 hours of downtime. I had one work day that lasted 23 hours. It was a great trip, though. I like to take in as much as I can when I travel, and I did just that. Vegas had everything.

"I even encountered remains in the desert on one of the photo shoots. Thursday, we awoke at 5 AM to drive 1 1/2 out of Vegas to shoot the earthworks piece Double Negative. We saw the sunrise over the mountains and the morning light on the mesas. It was breathtaking. Double Negative was not easy to find. It was off not only a desolate road, but beyond a dirt road and beyond even a discernible path. We joked that from watching all of the crime shows, I know that this is where bodies are dumped. Well, wouldn't you know it, I did find one.

"When Peter was trying to set up the shot, I wandered around taking in the unusual flora... hoping to catch a glimpse of maybe an animal, a bird, a reptile, anything. I first came across the hands. Actually, only one hand and an upper arm. They were not together, but in the same area. We walked a bit farther and came across both feet. There was still part of the shin attached to both. They were riddled with bullet holes.

"I began to wonder where the rest of the body was, or how far apart the remains could be strewn. I walked a few more steps and caught sight of the torso. What I really saw was the head. Because of the rather enormous size of the head, it was pretty easy to see. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the entire top of the head had been blown off by gunshots.

"I expected to be disgusted by the sight of such a horrendous death, but I really wasn't. The face, frozen in death, did not show fear or pain. The face actually looked happy... very happy, with a large toothy grin. Peter, being Peter, gathered the hand to take home a souvenir. I myself picked up the upper arm, thinking that would fit in my suitcase easier than the feet. The head would have made the best trophy, but I was certain that I couldn't get that past security.

"If you're interested, I've enclosed a photo of our discovery."

Thanks to Georgia for forwarding the story my way, and to Jenny for letting me use it.

You Are 55% Manic

You are definitely super charged, and your energy is infectious! Your mania is something to be proud of. You wouldn't be you without it. Just make sure not to give into that self-destructive streak of yours.

Are You Manic?

You Are a Hand-Painted Egg

Classy and gorgeous - with attention to every detail.

What Kind of Easter Egg Are You?

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy. Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy. You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through. Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

Mrs. Fields Peanut Butter Cookies

Categories: Cookies
Yield: 1 serving

2 teaspoons Vanilla
1 cup Peanut butter; creamy
3 Eggs
1 cup Butter; softened
1 1/4 cups Sugar
1 1/4 cups Dark brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Baking soda
2 cups Flour

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a medium bowl... combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix well with a wire whisk. In a large bowl, blend sugars using a mixer at medium speed. Add butter and mix to form a grainy paste. Add eggs, peanut butter, and vanilla. Mix at medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the flour mixture and mix at low speed until just mixed. (Do not overmix). Drop by rounded tablespoons onto an ungreased cookie sheet, 1 1/2 inches apart. With a wet fork, gently press a crisscross pattern on top of the cookies. Bake for 8-22 minutes until cookies are slightly brown along the edges. Transfer cookies immediately to cool surface with a spatula.

BLADES OF GLORY, and bra-signing!

Using my sister's laptop: YAY, LENNY! My sister and Eric were late picking me up, but neglected to tell me that we'd be watching the 1:30 showing instead. Ten death threats were the indirect result of this, haha. (Purell DOES smell better than the manure truck we had the misfortune to be following for a while through farms, and I did NOT create that fertilizer scent!) I also called them ridiculous twice, heh. Eric had scraped the black car's bumper off while at Steph's place, which leaves the family with one car on Sunday. Getting to Sunrise Service will be interesting, and I think I will have to sleep over! Oh well, it probably shouldn't be that bad!

Vivian had to ask Dad for directions on getting to Richmond, but she made it in time for the movie and before we did, so it was cool. BLADES OF GLORY was a quirky movie: these two enemies have to be a pair in pairs skating after they got banned for life (haha, stalker!), and then have to overcome their rival couple trying to guilt-trip the sister! Very funny overall, but the part at the end was certainly random! DVD for bloopers it will be in a few months! Seriously, people should see this one - it will exceed your low expectations, oh yeah! Afterwards, we went straight into Vancouver to drop Vivian off at home before going to church at around 4. Discussed Take It To Heart (Romans 6:1-13), a church meeting in two weeks (EXAM TIME!), books, certain people, Jon busing it to church, songs we haven't sung in a long time, losing keys, Translink, dignity, cruises, worship, Sunrise Service, hockey, bras, and more. Very interesting, haha.

My sister figures she'll never get any sleep because of supervising the 30-Hour Famine tonight and the Sunrise Service at 6:30 AM on Sunday! Oh well, what can you do? Now Daniel, Vanessa, Nathan, Isabel, Jon, Steph, Eric, Mike, Christon, Joey, Emily, and Margaret are practicing for tonight's Good Friday service at church. Speaking of which, Sam's the oldest member of the Easter worship team: Quan, Joyce, Cordia, and Chris are all younger than he is - so scary! (haha) Dinner will be very welcome, since I've had just a banana / a cookie / popcorn / water / coffee / milk today! I'll go to Pho when everyone else goes or just slightly earlier. Nice to have company. :D

Hehe, my sister and Viv went to the Colorado-Vancouver game last night - JEFF COWAN (#20) SIGNED HER BRA! YAY! She brought two bras, and the first one she threw just landed on the glass and just hung there. =/ She and Viv had moved down to the first two rows for jersey-signing, but it was too crowded! Vivian's bra landed on Markus Naslund's shoulder, and he picked it up before handing it to Brent Sopel. Sopel was just STARING at it for a while before he tossed it behind the bench. Steph's second bra landed on another fan, who gave it to Cowan, and he signed it and tossed it back to the fans... she's so proud and telling everyone sorta discreetly since it's Good Friday and all. The other people in their section were like "Who IS this girl, and why the heck is she throwing BRAS around?!" Hello, are you living in CAVES or something? Octopus-throwing in Detroit is way more of a health hazard than throwing old bras! HEHEHE - HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK!

I also uploaded three new icons for my sister: Batman, Canucks logo, and ice cream!

Good Friday and sunny weather / Mrs. Fields Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars

Good Friday rant

Eric called at 11:25 to wake me up. Thanks to the extremely sunny weather outside (good for a run!), I was already awake. Then again, given the habits my neighbors have of taking showers from 3-5 AM (not exaggerating!), it's not like I spent a restful night anyhow. Oh well, at least I got to rant at Eric about that after he told me that I'd hung up on him at least once. That explains why there was no dial tone when I picked up the phone, haha! Says Vivian L. is coming, so I guess it'll be the four of us... or maybe three, if he can't contact Steph! We just did separately, and she's still at Vivian S.'s place. According to Steph, our mom thinks I'm a boy. =/

Yes, I changed my mind from last night... guess I am going to see BLADES OF GLORY with Eric and Steph. I still don't know why they have to be at church two and a half hours before the service actually STARTS, which is earlier than I've EVER been there on a Good Friday that I can remember! I'm not saying it's DISGUSTING, but it's still insanely early no matter which way you slice it! The whole service probably isn't going to last longer than two hours, not to mention all the lingering / loitering we'll do afterwards - MUST HAVE COFFEE AND WATER! Called someone else, who thinks it's not his type of movie - heh, I'll have to remember to bug him about that in a week, only not really. :P Wait, I just called my brother - they're all part of the prep. Guess I'll bring a book or something... at least I took a shower and made myself presentable! No wonder it's so hot (too hot to sleep?) - it's 18 degrees, and going to be 24 later on! Summer, here we come early!


Mrs. Fields Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars

Categories: Cookies
Yield: 24 servings

8 medium Butter cookies
1/4 cups Salted butter; melted

Chocolate layers:
2 1/2 cups Milk chocolate chips (15 oz)
Peanut butter filling:
1 1/2 cups Creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup Salted butter; softened
3 cups Confectioners' sugar
2 teaspoons Pure vanilla extract

Crush cookies until finely ground. Add butter & mix. Press crumb mixture into bottom of 8x8 baking pan & bake 10 minutes at 325 degrees F. Cool to room temperature. Melt chocolate. Pour half into pan & smooth evenly over crust. Place pan in refrigerator. Keep remaining chocolate warm. Blend peanut butter & butter together until smooth using electric mixer. Slowly beat in confectioners' sugar & vanilla. Beat until smooth. Spread mixture over chilled chocolate layer. Pour remaining warm chocolate over top & spread smoothly. Chill in refrigerator one hour. Yields 24-36 bars.

Not up for movies, literally / Teaching horses a lesson / Hoaxes / Blogthings

Eric sent us an email about watching Blades of Glory at Silvercity early tomorrow afternoon. I don't think I'll be up for it, literally. Maybe if it was a night show... but that's not possible!


Today's Berserk Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Louis "Two Gun" Alterie was one of Dion O'Bannion's gunners during the Chicago gangster heyday of the 1920s. One of Alterie's close pals in the church-going, sentimental O'Bannion organization was Samuel J. "Nails" Morton. Morton was a horseman of some note, riding each day along the Lincoln Park bridle path. On one of these rides, a spirited horse threw him and kicked him to death.

Hearing his pal was dead, Alterie went berserk; he went to the stables, rented the same horse and, taking it to the exact spot where Nails had been killed, shot the animal through the head (a scene repeated in the classic gangster film Public Enemy). Alterie then called the stable owner and said, "We taught that goddamn horse of yours a lesson. If you want the saddle, go and get it."

Culled from: Bloodletters and Badmen

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By the way, I highly recommend The Public Enemy. Even after all these years, it still packs a punch - and James Cagney is always a joy to watch.

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Update Du Jour!

Elizabeth writes about yesterday's Wretched Recommendation The Art Of Funerary Violins by Rohan Kriwaczek. It turns out that, apparently, the book is a work of fiction:

"Re: The Art of Funerary Violins by Rohan Kriwaczek - it's all made up! There never were such people. The author has written this book for publicity for his own funerary violin playing business. I read it in The Fortean Times, but you can read about it on the Museum Of Hoaxes website."

And here is the information from The Museum Of Hoaxes:

"The literary world has been talking about a work of fiction that managed a brief masquerade as nonfiction. The book is An Incomplete History of the Art of the Funerary Violin, by Rohan Kriwaczek. As the title suggests, it tells the history of that popular genre of music, funerary violin music.

"The Guardian reports:
'By the early 19th century, the book says, virtually every town had its own funerary violinist, but the tradition was almost wiped out in the Great Funerary Purges of the 1830s and 40s. The author, Rohan Kriwaczek, describes himself on a site on Myspace.com as being the president of the guild that represents a dwindling band of musicians dedicated to this largely forgotten art-form. But all references to the guild lead back to Kriwaczek, and several experts on the history of the violin say they have never heard of him or the tradition.'

"The book will be published next month by Duckworth Publishers in Britain, and Overlook Press in America. The publisher claims that it believed the book to be a work of genuine nonfiction. Or rather, it didn't care too much whether it was fiction or nonfiction because it thought the book was interesting. The hoax was 'exposed' by a book-buyer in Iowa City who saw the book described in Overlook's catalog, thought it looked fishy, and brought it to the attention of David Schoenbaum, an expert in the history of the violin and also a reviewer for the New York Times. The Times then revealed the hoax.

"Personally, I'm thinking the publisher probably had a hand in the exposure of the hoax. What better publicity could a book get than to be 'exposed' by the Times right before its debut?"

Thank you for the information, Elizabeth. I'll be removing that book from The Library Eclectica immediately!

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Morbid Link Du Jour!

Here's a site that we definitely need now that eBay has banned all crime-related auctions: Murder Auction. Absolutely fascinating.

Thanks to Faith for the link.

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Morbid Sightseeing!

Frank writes:

"I just heard that my dad will celebrate his 70th birthday in this Restaurant / Hotel:

The J.H. Adams Inn

"The thing is that this house was for several decades one of the busiest local funeral homes, and served as a overflow morgue (so I was told) until the local hospital expanded. They just converted this into a Hotel / Restaurant a few years ago. Every time I drove by the construction site, I had to think of you. This would be the hotel for you to die in, or not. Notice on their 'history' section the gap between about 1930 and 2000. :-) Only the locals know that the death-elevator to the basement is now hidden and (from what I heard) was used to transport equipment and wine since it ends in the main dining room. I can't wait to have a rare steak there - if it tastes like chicken, I know...."

I found this additional juicy snippet (completely unsubstantiated, I admit) on a blog:

"Notes of interest: wondering where they kept the bodies? (The funeral home, silly, not the Adamses.) The embalming room was located where the current restrooms are. Don't believe me? Check out the size of the drains in the floor."

Oh, I'd love to!

You Are a Soft Kisser

Your kissing style is understated, but effective. You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses. And the key is, you only give kisses to someone incredibly special. Because you don't just go around kissing anyone!

What's Your Kissing Style?

You Are Pretty Happy Being Single

You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don't need love to be content. Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you've been single for a while. But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. Your life is too good to settle for anything!

Are You Happy Being Single?

Your Sensitivity Score: 71%

You are a highly sensitive person. Pretty much everything affects you. You are tuned into the vibe around you, and someone's bad mood can bring you down. But you also easily share in someone's joy - whether you know them or not.

Are You Extremely Sensitive?

Dreaming of wheelchairs and electric blue signs at the Bay

Another day, another weird phone call. This one is from Edmonton, and the number is 780-665-3119. What is with these people?! Makes me wish I'd documented the other weird phone calls I used to get years ago from places like Pennsylvania and Arizona before my old Caller ID phone refused to work anymore! Then again, I also wish I'd documented my old Bookworm achievements with screen shots in addition to writing about them in here. Oh well, at least the TEN MILLION POINTS has a screen shot! :D


What the heck am I supposed to make of this dream?!

* arguing with my parents over whether I was old enough to keep a certain book with questionable content in it (eventually, I had to hand it over.... which made me very annoyed!)
* being frustrated that I left an important piece of paper at my parents' place in between a vase of flowers and the wall, since it had various tallies on it that I needed for later!
* meeting Maria (unconventional) and snuggling up to her in bed (hey, subconscious! I do NOT swing that way, and I don't recall wishing I did!)
* being together with a bunch of people at a shopping centre with three floors and getting split up
* meeting my sister in the Bay and telling her that I'd meet up with Jon and some guy named Jeff later on, as I had to buy a sweatshirt from the "4 for $10" section
* I bought a yellow shirt from the selection available in boxes and on hangers, then went off to find people... after some looking near the escalators, my sister and I found Jeff and some others near the GOTH METAL electric blue sign
* over the loud music in that section, we asked Jeff what he was doing there, as this wasn't his type of music / scene at all... he simply pointed to Jon, who was standing a little ways off talking to someone or other
* later, I explored the three floors, and saw Karen Chan pushing Justin's cousin Elisyn in a wheelchair (those two won't know each other in real life!)
* I asked what had happened to Elisyn, and Karen told me that she had some sort of neuropathic disease! (her head was rolled back, and she was sleeping on and off)
* I also encountered a bunch of white kids from another group in there at the same time my friends and I were using the place... they seemed rambunctious enough!


No triggers for this one that I can see - we already know about someone's grandmother! Haven't been to the Bay in years, and haven't known anyone in a wheelchair for some time either! (Shannon doesn't count :P) Weird stuff... although it appears that I'm back to dreaming of my online friends!

Suffocation, Keith Richards, and more! / Mrs. Fields Party Time Cookies

Today's Suffocating Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

An inmate death at the Kirkland Correctional Institution in Columbia, South Carolina has been ruled a suicide. Howard Melton, age unavailable, suffocated himself by stuffing toilet paper in his mouth and his nostrils. Officers found Melton unconscious in his cell at about 4:45 AM Friday during an inmate count. He was pronounced dead at 6:10 AM. Melton was serving a one-year sentence for a conviction for a lewd act on a child.

Culled from: The State
Generously submitted by: Bruce T.

**********************************************************************

I am always amazed at how people can voluntarily suffocate themselves to death like this. I'm such a wuss, I can't even hold my breath until I pass out. This guy was obviously DESPERATE to escape prison!

On a completely unrelated note, I'm sure you've all heard by now about Keith Richards' claim that he snorted some of his Dad's cremated ashes mixed with blow. Am I the only person who read this and went, "So?" Doesn't sound remotely shocking to me - seems like something I would do if I were the drug-sniffing type. I think it's kind of touching, actually.

Anyway, here's an update on the article. Apparently, his publicist is now saying that the original comment was a joke. Yeah, right... nice try.

Thanks to Remo for the link.

*******

Morbid TV!

jkatj writes to let us know that one of the Jonestown documentaries that I have mentioned in the newsletter recently is appearing on a PBS channel near you in the next week. My TIVO is set. Check your local listings!

"In case you're interested, it's airing on PBS very soon:

AMERICAN EXPERIENCE "Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple"
WTTW11
April 9, 2007 9 PM
April 11, 2007 3 AM

"I'm not sure how to find out where it airs other than Chicago."

*******

Morbid Link Du Jour!

Here's a documentary to keep an eye out for: No More Sunsets - the story of a dying (and now dead) meth addict. Of course, I don't like preachy anti-drug films, but the allure of watching a documentary on a self-destructive dying druggie is, of course, completely irresistible.

Thanks to Heather for the link.

*******

Wretched Recommendations!

Andrea has a book recommendation for us:

"I wanted to pass along a book I'm reading that I heard about on NPR of all places called An Incomplete History of the Art of the Funerary Violins by Rohan Kriwaczek. It's an amazing little book about the aesthetic of death and funerals, and the outcasting of musicians who made it their life's ambition to understand morbidity thoroughly and artistically. There's some question about how much fiction goes into the book, but who cares! There's also a CD sold separately of the violin dirges and such he discusses in his book... but until my relatives die and leave me money, I'll have to listen to the snippets off Amazon or the NPR website. :) ... Great cover, too."


Mrs. Fields Party Time Cookies

Categories: Cookies
Yield: 36 servings

3/4 cup Salted butter; soft
1/3 cups Sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla
1/3 teaspoon Almond extract
1 cup Flour
1 cup Semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup Slivered almonds

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream butter and sugar together in a medium bowl using an electric mixer set at medium speed. Add extracts and beat well. Scrape bowl. Add flour, chocolate chips, and almonds. Blend on low speed until just combined. Do not overmix. Shape rounded tablespoonfuls into 1 1/2 inch balls and place on ungreased baking sheets, 2 inches apart. Press balls with palm of hands or bottom of drinking glass into 1/2 inch thick rounds. Bakes 15-17 minutes or until cookies just begin to brown. Transfer cookies to a cool, flat surface.

Telus Alberta numbers / Wacky Fortunes / Sexy quizzes

Hmm.. I got a weird phone call from Alberta: 403-310-2255, a Telus number. While discussing Something Awful threads and new computer cases with Corey, he thought that I wanted him to prank call the number. Not necessarily, dude!

Everyone agrees - you are the best

'What is your Fortune?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Your missing underwear is under the sink in the kitchen

'What is your Fortune?' at QuizUniverse.com

Ew, oh my!

What is your Sexual Obituary?

With glory in the doggie-style position, Leslie died while in the sack with their lover, the orphans down the block. Leslie will be terribly missed by the orphans down the block.

'What is your Sexual Obituary?' at QuizUniverse.com

Well, at least my lover(s) will miss me... :(

What song should you strip to?
	You should strip to... Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar on Me
'What song should you strip to?' at QuizUniverse.com

You will peak between 29 and 34
	Your peak has, or will soon occur! Get those loins a-movin'!
'When will you hit your Sexual Peak?' at QuizUniverse.com

	Leslie Pills:
	Will allow for an all-nighter
'What Sexual Effect do you have on people?' at QuizUniverse.com

Water torture / Jonestown / Baby cages / Mrs. Fields Original Cookies

YES! For all intents and purposes, I have left a certain drama-filled community. Sometimes I like snark, but not all the time. ;)

Seems that my Firefox dictionary decided to wipe itself for no really good reason. Stupid thing. Guess I need to back it up, or else I'll probably have this problem when I change computers! Also have rediscovered Tab Mix Plus, yay!


Today's Spurting Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A recent case of water torture was reported by a Paraguayan prisoner, as follows:

"In the center of the room, there was an ordinary bathtub, rather large. From a hole in the wall hung a plastic pipe from which water was flowing to fill the bath... They made me sit down on the edge of the trough at its highest part, having first tied my feet with ropes and my hands behind my back...

"Suddenly, they grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me to the bottom of the trough. I held my breath a while, making desperate efforts to get my head out of the water and take in some air. I managed to free my head, but they submerged me again. When my efforts to get out became violent, the heaviest members of the group tramped on the top part of my body. I could no longer bear the lack of air, and began to swallow water through my mouth, nose, and ears.

"My ears started to hum as the water made its way in. They seemed to be blowing up like a balloon. Then came a sharp whistling, very loud at first, which has not yet completely gone, and which I hear when there is complete silence. The more I swallowed water, the more my struggles to breathe also increased. They all pressed me down to the bottom of the trough - my head, chest, and hands...

"I must have swallowed 8 to 10 litres of water. When they took me out and laid me on the ground, one of them trod heavily on my stomach, water poured out from my mouth and nose, spurting like a jet from a hose."

Culled from: A History Of Torture

**********************************************************************

Paints quite a vivid picture, doesn't he?

*******

Wretched Recommendations!

Ashley recommends another Jonestown documentary. This one sounds quite fascinating!

Jonestown: Paradise Lost

"I recently wrote a concept paper on cults, and I used this documentary as a source. It was an amazing documentary that revolved around governmental footage and eyewitness accounts. It even discusses how an elderly woman survived the forced punch-drinking (or injections) by hiding under her bed."

*******

Morbid Link Du Jour!

It is a well-known fact that nothing is as morbid in life as having children, but it's good to know that BabyCage.Net is here to provide you with all of your infant confinement needs!

Thanks to Jennifer for the link.


Mrs. Fields Original Cookies

Categories: Cookies
Yield: 30 servings

1/2 cup Butter
1/2 cup Sugar
1/2 cup Brown sugar
1 Egg
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla
1 1/4 cups Oatmeal
2 oz Plain Hershey bar
1 cup Flour
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Baking powder
1/2 teaspoon Baking soda
6 oz Chocolate chips

Put oatmeal in blender, blend till powder, set aside. Grate Hershey bar in blender or by hand, set aside. Cream together butter, sugar, and brown sugar. In large bowl... mix oatmeal, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Blend in butter and sugar mix with dry ingredients. Add chocolate chips and grated Hershey bar. Make golf ball-size cookies, and bake on ungreased cookie sheet for 6 minutes at 375 degrees.

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said: April 2007

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said: April 2007

These stupid quotes are from The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar 2007.

Page-A-Day Calendars

Sunday, Apr. 1: Frightening Speeches

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - President George W. Bush (thanks to Vicki Denny)


Monday, Apr. 2: No WONDER The Sheets Were Singed

NEVER USE WHILE SLEEPING. - Warning on a propane blowtorch.


Tuesday, Apr. 3: You're A Dog Person, Aren't You?

"Great Danes are just, like, so great, aren't they? They're just, like, big dogs! I know! Yeah, yeah, Great Danes are great. Oh, my God. They just so are!" - actress Kate Bosworth


Wednesday, Apr. 4: Wow, What An Innovation!

MADE WITH REAL INGREDIENTS. - ad for grocery store-bakery scones, in the Wenatchee (Washington) World (thanks to Katherine Corbin)


Thursday, Apr. 5: Odd Government Auctions

"Sales of lost and unclaimed property: umbrellas by the thousands, handbags, briefcases, overcoats, Filofaxes, books, abandoned children, etc." - from the Government Auctions Guide


Friday, Apr. 6: 72-Hour Days

FILENE'S ONE-DAY SALE! THIS FRIDAY, SATURDAY, AND SUNDAY - Filene's department store ad, Connecticut (thanks to Judi Ieronimo)


Saturday, Apr. 7: Umm... Is Something Missing Here?

5-STAR SPECIAL APRICOT JAM
HOMEMADE
Ingredients: Sugar, Lemon, and Plum
- label on a jar of apricot jam from Kathmandu, Nepal


Sunday, Apr. 8: What About Bob?

EASTER SUNDAY CALL TO WORSHIP:

Pastor: Christ has risen!
People: Christ has risen indeed.
Pastor: Joe is alive!
People: Redemption is here.
- from a church bulletin in Denver, Colorado (thanks to Mrs. B. Williams, who adds that the church reprinted the bulletin)


Monday, Apr. 9: Excessive Literalness

Game show host Wink Martindale (asking questions of people on the street): The coast of California faces what ocean?
Woman: The one on that side.


Tuesday, Apr. 10: Sports Signals We'd Rather Not See

"He signals to the bench with his groin." - sports analyst Mark Bright


Wednesday, Apr. 11: Not Good Reasons for Appearing in a Television Commercial for a Military Contractor

"I'm the former chairman of the Ethics Committee. I know what's ethical and what isn't, and there is nothing unethical about this." - Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)


Thursday, Apr. 12: Learned Rats

From a report on stem cell research on paralyzed rats: "For the last two years, he has shown dramatic video footage of the rats walking to scientific gatherings and during campaign events." - in the San Bernadino (California) Sun


Friday, Apr. 13: Is It Just Us, Or Does This Name Not Quite Work?

BEAUTY BRAIN'S FANTASTIC FANNIE - beauty salon near Chuo Rinkan station, Japan


Saturday, Apr. 14: Subtitles Which Are A Little Too Subtle For Us

"You're a bad guy. Where's your library card?" - English subtitle in a Hong Kong kung-fu movie


Sunday, Apr. 15: How Not To Win Votes In The Next Election

"We're not able to tax people as much as we would like to." - Macon, Georgia, mayor C. Josh Ellis, talking about how low-income-housing projects depend on both public and private funding


Monday, Apr. 16: Perhaps You'd Like To Rephrase That

"The rather beautiful-looking mulberry bush behind me is approximately 400 years old, and it's said that it's one of the finest examples around. One other that you can see, if you're lucky enough, is in the grounds of Buckingham Palace. But apparently, this is much bigger and grander than the Queen's bush." - feature reporter on British television


Tuesday, Apr. 17: Bovine Sheep

Game show host Richard Madeley: It stands in a field and it shouts moo.
Contestant: A sheep.
- on the game show You Say, We Pay


Wednesday, Apr. 18: Counting Problems

"That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres: two doubles and a triple." - San Diego Padres sportscaster Jerry Coleman


Thursday, Apr. 19: Abysmal Technological Foresight

"I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova, and in 1996, catastrophically collapse." - Ethernet inventor and 3Come founder Bob Metcalfe, in his Info World column, 1995


Friday, Apr. 20: We Disagree, President Bush

BUSH ARGUES THAT ECONOMY IS "FUNDAMENTALLY STRING" - headline in the Boston Globe Online


Saturday, Apr. 21: Extremely Inappropriate Fortune Cookies

CONSOLIDATE YOUR INTEREST WHILE THE LIGHTS ARE ACTIVE - fortune cookie saying (thanks to Tanya Maes)


Sunday, Apr. 22: Pretty Dismal Ecological Insights

"I applaud the people that are trying to save species that are endangered, but it might be good that we don't have dinosaurs now. We've gotten oil from dinosaurs. If we had preserved the dinosaur, we wouldn't have that oil." - Gretchen Borck, a lobbyist with the Washington Association of Wheat Growers (thanks to Emily Lauderdale)


Monday, Apr. 23: And It's A Pretty Big City, Too

"Australia is a beautiful city." - singer Taylor Hanson


Tuesday, Apr. 24: Better Than Looking With Your Feet

"And now I'm looking with my eyes..." - Yankee radio sportscaster, during Game 7 of the Red Sox-Yankees ALCS playoffs (thanks to Beth Scorzato)


Wednesday, April 25: Why Do We Think Ashley & Nephews Might Not Be Buying As Much Advertising Space?

"Due to a typographical error in last week's issue, the words "Con-Men" appeared on the border of an Ashley & Nephews advertisement. "Con-Men" was the headline of a story that was not used because of lack of space, and has absolutely nothing to do with and is in no way connected with Ashley & Nephews." - from the Enfield (England) Independent


Thursday, Apr. 26: Isn't That Kind of Hard?

"When cosmetic surgery turns fatal, here's what to ask your doctor first." - news tease on KABC-7, Los Angeles (thanks to Lin Malki)


Friday, Apr. 27: Males Who Probably Won't Be Invited to Address a NOW Convention

"One area of liberal phenomenon I support is female bisexuality: this apparent increased willingness of girls to bring along a friend. That's a pretty good thing.... [Women] want to be listened to, protected, and amused. And they want to be spanked vigorously every once in a while...." - political pundit Tucker Carlson


Saturday, Apr. 28: No, It's Moron Time

Tech support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.
Customer: Is that Eastern time?
- from a call to a computer tech support line


Sunday, Apr. 29: There's A Reason It's Called A Christening

"We want to have Brooklyn christened, but we are not sure into which religion!" - soccer star David Beckham, referring to his son Brooklyn


Monday, Apr. 30: We'd Prefer The Sashimi Platter, Thank You

WE SERVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AS GOOD FOOD - sign at a restaurant in Japan

Dreams of flying down escalators / Firefox dictionary reset

Hey, Kyle's last name (Napier) means "one in charge of table linen in a royal household." Sweet stuff... too bad he's not online anymore, otherwise I'd tell him so! He was a cool kid. :D

Why did my Firefox dictionary reset itself after a few months?! Ugh, now I have to spend the entire afternoon adding a squillion words to it. NOT how I was planning to spend the day after catching up on comments and my friends list, so... CURSE YOU, FIREFOX QUIRKS!


Interesting dream last night:

* Eric and I going around an underground parking lot, trying to find certain colored poles to aid us in our quest
* upon finding them, we had the materials necessary to find my sister, who was locked up somewhere in the ocean
* once we found her, we discovered that if she were freed, she would be the human equivalent of Pandora's Box when unleashed upon the world again
* we had no choice but to leave her there, so we went to tell our friends about it - we all hugged and held each other for comfort
* suddenly, a bunch of us were whisked into a crowded conference with many rooms and elevators
* the elevators were only on a certain number of floors, so I was quite agitated when I went up to the 14th floor to discover that there wasn't any elevator! (and I combed that floor quite thoroughly, too!)
* upon hearing about my predicament, Rich just told me to stay on the lower 12 floors out of 100 - and then he realized what this would mean for fire safety regulations... ANGRY RICH PROWLING THE BUILDING IN SEARCH OF ANSWERS!
* I was trying to do it myself, and stepped on the 14th floor escalator - suddenly, someone upset my balance and I went flying down the moving stairs!
* suddenly, someone lifted me and said "FLY!" ... so I did, with great results!
* I was on the eighth floor trying to talk to Chris, but groups of people were blocking our way into another room - why am I not surprised that this group included Randal?
* we eventually shoved our way through after we were done trying to be polite, glaring at Randal especially (I'm not going to repeat the language here... suffice to say it was very negative)
* later, we found ourselves in a crowded room where it seemed as if a kids' awards ceremony was going on - I saw little Ian and his family, so sat next to them
* Ian got a major award consisting of a colorful toy with multiple shiny bling crosses, which you could remove and replace elsewhere on the toy
* he went to get it, but then was scared and sat back down - his parents and I tried convincing him to go up there himself, but I had to go with him to hold his hand
* once we sat back down, his brother Sean made a move for it - I told Ian not to let his brother touch it, and took him and the toy elsewhere
* I got a $200 award consisting of a green paper clip containing some metal paper clips (my grandma wondered why THAT was worth $200... I don't know!)
* the dream ended in sheer craziness, and everyone dunking everyone else in jellybeans!


P.S. To answer a certain question asked of me recently: Sure! That way, I can yell at you! :D

Converting lions / Mrs. Fields' Orange Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Today's Christian Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A man leaped into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts. "Jesus will save you!" shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away. "Come bite me!" he said with both hands raised, television footage showed. One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns. Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt ... or worse.

Culled from: Reuters
Generously donated by: Methlehem

**********************************************************************

More proof that religion is bad for you. In the olde days, they would have called this "religious derangement."

*******

The Comtesse Critiques...

Weird Illinois by Troy Taylor

Over the weekend, my girlfriend and I journeyed to Lansing, Michigan to visit some friends and during the drive, I kept us entertained by reading aloud the entirety of Weird Illinois by local ghostlore figure Troy Taylor. I must say, we both found the book to be far less than fascinating. Maybe the problem is that we are both skeptics at heart, so some of the conclusions that Taylor jumps to are just silly to us. For example, he discusses the fact that no grass grew on the empty lot where the John Wayne Gacy house once stood for several years after the house was torn down. He uses this as evidence that the soil was infested with negative ghostly energy from the murder victims or some such thing. Of course, he's ignoring the obvious explanations for this: 1. The hard, compacted soil found in previously occupied lots requires considerable breaking down before anything can grow well on it. 2. The type of grass that you see growing on lawns is not native to Illinois, and must be PLANTED in order to take root anywhere. But, no, let's just say it's haunted - it's so much more interesting that way. Sheesh.

The book does have an excellent design, and does discuss some very interesting abandoned sites and legends that I would like to investigate further. However, the author annoyingly does not provide directions to any of the landmarks. So in order to actually see any of these sites for myself, I'm going to have to do additional research to find out where they are. Thanks so much.

I don't want to be too negative because I do like the Weird America people and the book is a fun, interesting read. However, for serious morbid sightseeing, I'd suggest you purchase the far more helpful and comprehensive Oddball Illinois - at least until my own book comes out in a year or two, which of course will become THE morbid sightseeing guide for Illinois.

3/5 skulls

*******

Wretched Recommendations!

Here's a film to look out for - a documentary on Jonestown!

Thanks to Nina for the link.

*******

Ghastly!

Amos Quito sends this one with the following description: "Here's an old practical joke from our high school days.... we used to get everybody with this one!!"

Apparently, it's still most successful.


Mrs. Fields' Orange Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Categories: Cookies, Mimi
Yield: 1 serving

2 1/2 cups Flour
1/2 teaspoon Baking soda
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1 teaspoon Grated orange peel
1 cup Sugar
1/2 cup Light brown sugar, packed
1 cup Butter, softened
2 large Eggs
1 teaspoon Orange extract
1 1/2 cups Semisweet chocolate bar, Coarsely chopped (8 oz)

Preheat oven to 300°F. In a medium bowl... combine flour, baking soda, salt, and orange peel. Mix well and set aside. In a large bowl, blend sugars with electric mixer at medium speed. Add butter and beat to form a grainy paste, scraping sides of bowl as needed. Add eggs and orange extract, and beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the flour mixture and chopped chocolate. Blend on low speed just until mixed. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheets, 1 1/2 inches apart. Bake for 22-24 minutes until cookies are slightly brown along the edges. Transfer cookies immediately to a cool surface.

Graphic novels / The PRESIDENT orders an air strike?! What the...

Jon picked me up at 5:30, and we spent part of the car ride to the townhouse teaching Mom how to pronounce the word "resuscitate." (other trouble words include "corpse" and "Vietnamese") Grandma didn't like the Beastie Boys, nor was she impressed with Jon's antics at the wheel - drumming on it, dancing around in his seat, etc. Apparently, she's going to Hong Kong in about a month for a while since she wants to see her friends there while she's still able. I guess it makes you think about your own mortality / old age when you see your friends going through pretty bad health problems!

Have any of you ever heard of a graphic novel called Ranma 1/2? Makes me wonder where the other half went, har har. Admittedly lame jokes aside (turning into my DAD, too... yikes!), I had to do SOMETHING at Steveston Library besides browse the shelves and then discover that I no longer remember my Richmond Public Library card number. I opted to go there with my brother since books almost always draw me in. After managing to bug me with a nasal imitation on the way in, he settled down to study. I browsed the sections on true crime, comics, and reference material until the graphic novels caught my eye for some reason. Found the aforementioned graphic novel (not really anime) and decided to read it since I'd heard of it before, and it mentioned curses and such on the back. The book had HILARIOUS character names! Pantyhose Taro, Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse were among them: I half-expected a character named Conditioner, haha! However the Akane character reminds me of a girl I knew in high school named Akane Hume... she was nice enough. Dunking into hot water reverses a curse of drowning, hee hee. Unfortunately, we left when I was like 90% done with it - maybe I'll have to read it at the bookstore one day to find out what the new name is / how it ends, heh. ("Brassiere Jiro!")

Once we got to the townhouse, Jon received a mini-scolding on time management from Dad since we arrived maybe 15 to 20 minutes after we were supposed to. As it turned out, Dallas had arrived about five minutes before we did - eh, that's FINE! Steph came downstairs (saying "Of course we can't eat dinner without HIM!" sarcastically - yay, Grandma! :P) wearing an American "CALF-inated / de-CALF-inated" T-shirt that she got from Vanessa: so cute! I asked Dallas if he'd gotten my email... yup, and he was like "Okay, sure!" Dinner was pretty good unless you count the confusion I had over seating arrangements: JUST TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO WITHOUT POINTING IN VAGUE DIRECTIONS, PEOPLE! I swear, I wasn't so confused about things even a year ago! Man, I'm losing it! Dad thought that Jon could eat normally again starting with Sunday lunch, but we pointed out that he could order ham at breakfast after Sunrise Service. Then we told him not to do certain things now since he COULD get fired or investigated because of his paid position! He can't just laugh it off, and he needs to be a bit more serious!

Bugged Jon about the April birthday cards, and threatened to ransack his room looking for them. He told me not to; when I looked anyhow, he came in and searched for them himself with no luck. Then he found them in the middle of / under a pile of stuff on the living room table... as Steph said, how could I see them there? It's not like I'm psychic or have ESP: if I did, I'd have found them myself, thanks! Finished them myself after reading spoilers (Jon read some as well) while photos and analysis were going on at the computer, and got Jon to sign the remaining two: Steph will bring those on Friday, she says. (ah, the long weekend!) Then I almost forgot the cards and stickers when I left later on: AIYA!

Discussed the Easter weekend and exam schedules / the effect it would have on traffic. Toronto highway traffic is always "idle" time, and not just rush hour as it is here, Steph hates the Maple Leafs but loves the Blue Jays, we're #3 in the world as opposed to #1 in quality of life as we had been, and my witnesses were in full force as I handed over the symbolic rape of my bank account. :( [sure, I could have paid in installments, but at least now I won't forget - like my parents would let me! - and they wouldn't have preferred my taking it back!] Talked about wrestling / Steve Austin / the Hart Foundation / Donald Trump and Vince McMahon, baseball, and other stuff too.

Things maintained the status quo when Eric came over, but what did I expect? (MSN name of "Metal Butt" is looking good right about now :P) Yay for cannibalism by eating "Le Petit Ecolier" ("the little student") French biscuits with 70% cocoa in the dark chocolate topping! (of course Eric can't eat it or sugarless candy containing sucrose!) 24 had a bunch of weird moments this episode: Tom being a "good" character, mini voice recorders, hesitant "truces," multiple shots of adrenaline increasing the risk of brain damage, transmitters, exchanging stuff on Milo's computer (heh, Nadia), EW at the creepy older vice-president wanting to reward his sexy younger female assistant, and conspiracy to commit perjury.

There was also the Supreme Court and 25th Amendment stuff, Gredenko and the tracking isotopes in his arm, his dying by the pier with great blood loss from cutting off his arm OR having it chopped off by Fayed's men (cool artistic shots!), everyone beating Fayed up in the bar before Jack took him into custody ("this man is the terrorist people are looking for on TV!" says Gredenko), and of course there was that twist at the end! The president ordered the same air strike that the vice-president wanted in the previous hour! We were all staring at the TV when that happened, believe me! From what I read when I got home, it seems the next hour's previews (WHICH WE DON'T GET NOW) indicate something bad happening to Jack in a vest - NO KILLING HIM OFF!

After the show, Eric drove me and Dallas home after talking to Steph about some hockey game and codes / keys. Apparently, there's something on Youtube about a bunch of CSI Horatio's one-liners: pity it doesn't include "He's currently dead" and "Cold as ice!" Dallas was half-asleep trying to study on the third floor while we were watching TV since he got up at 4:30 AM - he could hear us talking, but not the show! Maybe he'll be hooked by the finale episodes on our calculated date of May 21, haha. Eric said I should care more about him because my sister cares about me: no way I'm getting the foot treatment, dude! Perhaps I'll give myself permission to change, haha. When he dropped me off, he said something I couldn't quite catch, but I'll get him for it later. ;)

Dreams of $50 bills being 5-cent bills / Annoyances and such

You know it's not going to be a good day when you wake up and are instantly annoyed by old cheques, emails, flight times, and deliberate misinterpretation of your comments on forums. I don't like the consequences of 9/11 causing our having to be at the airport at the EARLY hour of 6:35 AM. Not good for this semi-night person! Wish it left at noon or something, but I guess there's no real choice - oh well. I also found a cheque from January in my wallet: why I forgot about it every time I went near the bank, I don't know - AIYA! Maybe I can still cash it... as it is, I went to the bank and deposited it in the machine. Hopefully, the deposit will show up! As for the OTHER money matters that have been on my mind, I withdrew the maximum cash amount that I could from Save-On: that covers the debt quite handily! Must put it in a sealed labeled envelope (no Sharpie!) or else I can think of various things which COULD happen to it - and I don't mean stealing! I could do this by cheque, but I've already withdrawn the cash. :P Also, I should ask my sister for stuff tonight too!

Why did I get an email exchange between my mom and Dallas? It doesn't matter to me when he comes for dinner! Note: I'm not saying I don't CARE what he does. It's just that it doesn't matter about their private dinner arrangements! I'll come tonight, and that email exchange doesn't affect my decision: I think my mom's crazy, but I guess it runs in the family! At least now I can send a SUPER-SECRET email to someone - I have my devious ways, and I told Jon to get Mom to pick me up when he's finished teaching! :D Oh yeah, the money reminds me that I had a dream in which someone tried cheating my friends and me out of cash by giving us a red bill which looked like a $50 bill. However, it was really a five-cent bill upon closer inspection! No anti-counterfeiting strip, and the "5" looked authentic enough... but it was in CENTS! I think we got all the $50 back by the time my alarm went off, heh.

As for a certain comment saying that a certain person isn't easily influenced by others' eating habits, and won't eat what I eat solely because I posted about it: HELLO! You were the one asking for suggestions, and you won't eat any typical breakfast foods like yogurt ("IT IS TOO GOOEY! EWWWW!") and such. Then again, you eat ice cream when you're afraid of milk. (note: NOT lactose-intolerant) Guess what one of the main ingredients of ice cream is? You guessed it: MILK! If she's going to be so stubborn about it, she might as well NOT post! Obviously, hanging around people who endorse cheating (poly?!) has given her braindamage. (and I'm only half-joking about this, the way Spoz did) I can only hope my thinking is better than that after what went on before with a certain ex-friend of mine who has now turned into an Internet psycho! Note: I'm not saying she SHOULD take everybody's suggestions and implement them in her life because they took the time and effort to comment, but "inspired by my breakfast this morning: COOKIES!" doesn't mean she should be inspired by me all the time! Damn misunderstandings! Heh, she's apologized - ah, PMS and snark are not the best combo! At least I got a "thin wafer" suggestion in when I replied to say it was fine - polite thing to do, y'know? Plus, I'm done ranting... it truly is okay. :D

All I can say is thank goodness I recognized Barry's cell phone number before I hung up on it, haha. Half an hour earlier was fine by me since I'm kinda up: YAY, STARBUCKS COFFEE! I bought a 24-pack of bottled water for a good price, and also some Dad's variety pack of cookies for the guys... oatmeal, oatmeal chocolate chip, and chocolate chip. It'll be semi-heavy to carry on Easter Sunday, so maybe it'll be for the Saturday afterwards, haha... or I can leave it in the trunk during Sunrise Service / breakfast if I go! I took about ten portion packs (four in each) before leaving them the remaining 20 in the box to share. If I don't have the box, they'll wonder if they're REALLY Dad's cookies, hahaha. At least I got mini Easter eggs for the kids and my friends a couple of weeks ago, too. Yay for being prepared! (sorta?) I'll bring the Chunky Soup Sirloin Burger can to show my sister and Eric: "Now With Sirloin!" Uh yeah, I'd hope so...

Decomposing babies / Mrs. Fields' Nutty White Chunk Cookies

Today's Decomposing Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Authorities have arrested a woman in connection with the discovery of a baby's decomposing body found in the back of a truck in Arapahoe County, Colo. The discovery was made just before 8 PM in a mobile home park south of the town of Strasburg. A man told Arapahoe County investigators that he and his 15-year-old son were removing trash left in the back of the pickup truck when they found the body of an infant boy in a box. He said he had bought the older-model truck just hours earlier from a family that lives in a mobile home nearby. A woman in that family, who has not yet been identified, was arrested for investigation of first-degree murder, and child abuse resulting in death. Arapahoe County Sheriff Grayson Robinson told KMGH-TV in Denver that they consider the case a murder investigation and that there may be others involved in the case who may be arrested at a later date. Authorities are searching the family's home for additional clues. Neighbors said that the family has lived there since January 2005 and they are shocked by the allegations. The boy's body was sent to the coroner's office for an autopsy.

Culled from: Channel 3000
Generously submitted by: Michael

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Dammit! I need to go back to buying used cars!

Sorry for my absence this past week. I was suffering from a vicious respiratory infection that kept me bedridden for nearly a week. I'm finally feeling nearly "normal" again thanks to the wonders of antibiotics and corticosteroids.

While I was bedridden, I devoured a few books from The Library Eclectica and I will be featuring reviews of the books in the next few days. First up...

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The Comtesse Critiques...

Coffee Made Her Insane by Peg Meier

As a rabid enthusiast of all things Grim, there is nothing that irks me more than when an author / webmaster / director / news agency / etc. decides that it is in *my* best interest to have something morbid withheld from my sensitive eyes. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about: like when Werner Herzog decided that we really shouldn't hear the audio of Timothy Treadwell being devoured by bears in Grizzly Man, or when the Powers That Be decided that we should not see the footage of the Crocodile Hunter's demise, etc. etc. etc. It happens all the time, and it's an absolutely unforgivable offense to my voyeuristic morbid mind!

So, imagine how appalled I became when reading the forward of Coffee Made Her Insane - a collection of 19th- and early 20th-century clippings from Minnesota newspapers. Author Peg Meier made me groan out loud from my sickbed - which undoubtedly inspired a painful round of coughing - when I read the following paragraph:

"No editor today would run a gory, graphic story about the skinning alive of a criminal in China. I'm sorry I read it. I'm sorrier I can't get it out of my head. Lucky for you, I'm not reprinting it here."

Lucky for me???? Gee, thank you soooooo much, Peg, for deciding what information is good for me to read. I'm sure my poor, innocent mind would have been scarred for life reading that fascinating, gory article. Thank goodness you saved me from that.

So, as you can see, Peg was off on the wrong foot with me from the get-go, so maybe my opinion on her collection of newspaper clippings was a bit biased, but I found most of the articles that she selected to be uninteresting. There are a few good morbid stories, but nothing as fascinating as the articles in Wisconsin Death Trip, and I'm sure this isn't because old Minnesota newspapers lack fascinating articles. I think it's because Peg Meier's boring normal brain can't discern the good stuff from the dross. Peg should step aside and leave books like this to the more capable minds of people like Wisconsin Death Trip's Michael Lesy, or, perhaps, me! (2/5 skulls)

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MFDJ Store Update!

The Morbid Fact Du Jour T-shirt shop has moved from Ebay to Etsy, so if you've been thinking about purchasing a shirt... but you're loathe to use Ebay, now's your chance! Profits from the sale of all merchandise is used to keep the Morbid Fact Du Jour and The Asylum Eclectica running.

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Epitaph Du Jour!

Culled from:
Over Their Dead Bodies: Yankee Epitaphs & History
Authors: Thomas C. Mann & Janet Greene
Date: 1962

Mary Lefavour, 1797, age 74, Topsfield, Mass.
Reader, pass on and ne'er waste your time,
On bad biography and bitter rhyme
For what I am this cumb'rous clay insures,
And what I was, is no affair of yours.

Thanks to Miyuki for the contribution.

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Here are some delightful morbid trinkets for those of us with a six-figure salary. Anyone? Anyone???

Thanks to Amy D. for the link.


Mrs. Fields' Nutty White Chunk Cookies

Categories: Cookies, Mimi
Yield: 1 serving

2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup butter, softened
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup pecans, chopped (4 oz)
1 1/2 cups white chocolate bar, coarsely chopped (4 oz)

Preheat oven to 300°F. In a medium bowl... combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix well and set aside. In a large bowl with an electric mixer, blend sugars at medium speed. Add butter and mix to form a grainy paste, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add eggs and vanilla, and beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the flour mixture, pecans, and white chocolate. Blend on low speed until just combined. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheets, two inches apart. Bake 20-22 minutes, or until edges just begin to turn golden brown. Transfer cookies to a cool, flat surface.

STOP TWISTING YOUR NEW ASSISTANT PASTOR!

9 to 10 AM - Get annoyed because it's April 1. Have a breakfast consisting of a giant cookie and some milk, plus the coffee that I'd had at home beforehand. I hear Dad refer to someone by a family nickname - man, I know it's gotten bad then! Tell Jon that Steph "drew" a certain logo for Eric over MSN, and recount Dad's LAME "nose = nosy" joke: it was so tautologous! Give candy to Natalie, who looks disappointed when I tell her that she has to share it with her brother Nathan, but she thanks me anyhow. The second song in today's worship set is one of those "lighter" songs where you could just sway back and forth with a lighter (or cell phone) at dark concerts. (too bad I can't tell my seatmate that, but my usual companion would have understood!) A little later, I notice a "your / you're" grammar error in To The Ends of The Earth... so I follow my usual policy in these cases, and refuse to sing the rest of the song. Another good song - RUINED! (and Daniel's a TEACHER, too!) One day, they'll do this with a REALLY catchy tune / my favorite songs, and I'll find myself violating my own rules... yes, I do know it won't affect anything and certainly won't help them fix it, but still I like taking my personal individual "stance." :(

10 to 11:15 AM - YAY, MORBID SERMON PASSAGE ABOUT CANNIBALISM OF ONE'S CHILDREN! (it was featured in the Morbid Facts newsletter recently, too!) I did not know that pigeon dung was valued in famine days at $1600, nor did I know that a donkey's head was similarly valued at $32,000! Talked to Randal about San Francisco, Jelly Belly, and eating ALL the sample almonds at the Blue Diamond factory - SO HILARIOUS! It's cool that he wants to spend more time with his parents and see the city - since he's never really been on a bus tour (except as a small kid), I warned him that he'd have to get up early every day. Oh well, might as well take your opportunities where you can get 'em... and I'm sure he probably deals better with such stuff than I do!

Jon says that Pastor Edward will make oxtail soup for Maundy Thursday, and Eric wonders if that's austere enough: we have NO idea! Ask Steph about the birthday cards: she gave them to Jon, who says he left them at home - STUPID! I finally see Wayland, who's here from St. Louis on Spring Break for one week: YAY, NO RESEARCH! Jeremy makes a pun about "Sunrise Service" being "Son-Rise Service" - that certainly works, haha! Then I say hi to Darren, Ivan, Chris, and others before going in to help with the toddlers... but make a pit stop to say hi to Roberta Luongo AKA baby Hannah - ONE YEAR OLD AND HAVING FUN! Cindy and Dianne think she's very cute, too - MY CARD WILL BE LATE! ACK! Actually, Phil's card is urgent too since his birthday is tomorrow... but the ugfart didn't do as we wanted him to!


11:15 AM to 12:30 PM - Rachel and Wilson are engrossed in "picnic time," which is actually "let's see how many toys we can fit under this small table!" time. Rediscover that the kiddy Play-Doh smells - EW! Sean seems entranced by bells, baby mobiles, and wandering around with my rainbow stickers - although he DOES sit down for a while, and lets me hold him for a bit while he's playing with toys. He doesn't take my hand to tell me something, but he pulls me by the finger - whatever suits you! Ben's back, and has all these cars to himself: good thing he covered his mouth when he was sneezing near me, since I do NOT need kiddy germs now or ever! I see Gwyneth and Evelyn, who tell me that nobody gave them candy or sugar today - yet the older one is still jumping up and down! (ADD?) I guess their uncle was telling me the truth yesterday, haha.


12:30 to 1:30 PM - Say hi to Amos, Jason, and Adam: I still can't believe the Wong brothers have NEVER had Dad's chocolate chip cookies! (or any other sort from that company) I think I really WILL have to buy some tomorrow, and remember to take out a lot of cash while I'm at it! Christon gives away the "recipe" to Dylan and a bunch of us for "Aunt Jemima's Southern Love": EWWWWWWWW! (tofu, lots of cornmeal, and lots of leftover oil from frying!) Then he tells us that he asked Andrea and Anita why their "fried" stuff tasted so bad even when there were two girls in their group: it's ALL the newcomer's fault! Josh apparently decided to whip up something with soya sauce, teriyaki sauce, maple syrup, cornmeal, and goodness knows what else! Isabel to J-Mak: "No WONDER my stomach felt so bad afterwards!" Dylan to the general group: "Was Wayland here today then?" Yes, my absent-minded friend!

Before the two assistant pastors share, we have a lunch consisting of Chinese takeout. People ask Steph who's going on the Mexico missions trip this year from our church: not many people! (Chris, Steph, Michelle, and Janette) Dylan says that it was a good thing he wasn't there on Friday, since he was really sick and not just faking it as Steph thought: he really did sound under the weather. I notice that SOMEONE gives more detail to another person than I got initially... well, then! Witnessing to your parents on a Chinese bus tour? Hey, it's no worse than when my aunt Janis tried getting to know me spiritually in Victoria overnight - but at least then, we had a bit of common ground. One evening a week with the parents isn't enough time for that kind of thing, but I can't say how I'd react given that same situation - must be hard. *empathy*

Get on the topic of parents / moms matchmaking for us - I grew up with it! ("Person V would be GOOD for her! Person W would be GOOD for my son! Darn, she's taken now - what about Person X? Person Y would be GREAT for my other daughter! Hey, maybe Person Z would be PERFECT for my son's good friend since they're both tall people!") Then there was the year that my mom sent me this card in the mail saying how it was a SPECIAL BIRTHDAY since she'd given birth to me at that age (28), and how I should find a boyfriend! Uh, sure... Then I ask Auntie Christina if she'd ever pressure her kids like that: she emphatically doesn't believe in it, which is a VERY good thing! Chris asks Steph if he can have the rest of her personal stash of ice cream in the freezer: we tell him that he really doesn't want a half-tub of double chocolate ice cream all at once, so he ends up sharing it with me / Karen Lew / Isabel / J-Mak / other people. Daniel sees this and wonders if this is the ice cream that's supposedly been in the church freezer FOREVER since the inception of the church: HAHA, no... it's from Valentine's Day! ("it's the ORIGINAL ICE CREAM, and it's now 32 years old... EWWW!!!")


1:30 to 2:45 PM - Listen to Jon and Phil tell us a bit about themselves and their ministry vision... it was pretty good! I like what they had to say, although Jon COULD have done without jumping across half the room in order to hit Nathan / Jeremy in front of some people who don't know him as well as we do! *sigh* (Auntie Bessy's sister, Isabel's parents, etc.) Sure, it's a public persona and all, but you don't do it in front of YOUR GRANDMOTHER! She was there for support (?) even though she couldn't understand anything that was said - my mom was too busy with her video camera to translate, and my dad wasn't sitting near her! It would be interesting to hear what she thought, but it'll probably be "Hmph! I didn't understand anything, so it was useless!" (sad face!)

Contrary to what certain people thought, Uncle Peter DID ask a good / constructive question about English ministry vs. Chinese ministry. (just because you dislike the man's opinions doesn't mean they're not valid to some people!) Also contrary to what certain people thought, Phil didn't say we had to move forward and forget about the events of early 2004 - he said that we had to TALK ABOUT the hurt (even more than three years on!), and maybe re-invite the people who left as a gesture of reconciliation even if they don't take it! I happen to agree with "Don't pretend it never happened!", but then I'm not getting into that stramash again with those certain people who think those thoughts!

Steph comes downstairs from the Mexico trip meeting, and asks Cindy how the sharing session went: pretty good! Various plans were made for later today / Sunrise Service... Jeremy tells me that he's surely going, and Eric might too. I have yet to personally make my decision, but I probably will end up going - I'd better hope I sleep well the night before! Everyone stands around and talks for a while: Eric recommends I get some leftover food, so I do. Jeremy says it took him only two days to finish all the leftovers from Chung's wedding, heh. We're surprised to see an original tiny blue Mini Cooper parked outside the church, and then Mom is dismayed because their car is being blocked - the other family car is blocking it, so it's not like we'll have to drag someone out of the Mandarin Service to move their car!


2:45 to 3:20 PM - Mom gives me a whole bunch of other stuff along with the spring jacket... haha, Uncle Sam's office has its own mug now! Gum, toothbrush, Starburst, floss, and mini toothpaste - yup, gotta keep the dentist business with the Starburst! ;) Listen to Mom stretch the truth, but don't say anything since that would most likely get me dumped off in the middle of Knight Street. Try telling my sister various things in a very low voice (including the truth about what Phil said, even though her feelings were different back then on an important matter), and Mom accuses me of mumbling. No, there's a difference between mumbling and saying stuff you don't want others to hear in the car! *sigh*

Sister seems really disappointed that she won't get to see a repeat performance of the CREAMER FLIPPING at ABC Country Restaurant - there's always next year, haha. At least I can now save my Easter baptism cards for next year too, since Pastor Edward told me that nobody from my congregation is getting baptized next week! Not to be cliquey or anything, but I probably won't know them if they're newcomers from the Mandarin / Cantonese congregations: inter-congregational support is good, though! Then again, I thought the same about Henry when Chris / Danny / Benedict told me that he was getting baptized with them - I remembered him from when he was a little kid, but not a year ago or so!

Steph says that Vivian, Karen, and their mom really hate getting up early - and then have to be hounded out of bed like my brother does! Hey, I don't like getting up early either (we have to be at the airport at 6:35 AM for an American flight... why did I agree to go on this trip again for the lifestyle sacrifice?!), but at least I usually get out of bed in reasonable time! I may lie around for ten minutes or so... however, I am kinda ready by the time my brother gets out of bed! Tell Mom NOT to refer to a certain person with her weird designation - WISHFUL THINKING! Tomorrow it is... yay for rides home and no jokes about various stupid topics! Speaking of such, we told my mom not to make certain jokes at the airport - this one time in Vancouver (dropping off Melissa / Steph?), she used a certain "B" word a few minutes after she told me not to use that word in an airport! Nice going, Mom...

Hey, I have a perfect comeback for my mom if she accuses me of not really wanting to spend time with the family - she WILL do it, knowing her! "If I didn't want to do that, would I have signed up for the cruise?" Of course, that'll only work for so long! Yipes... at least I can commiserate with someone about being shy and other matters!

April Fools Day / Mrs. Fields Mocha Chunk Cookies

If anyone pranks me for April Fools Day, I will cut out their heart and serve it to them for breakfast. UNDERSTOOD?! *death glare*


Mrs. Fields Mocha Chunk Cookies

Categories: Cookies
Yield: 48 servings

2 1/2 cups All-purpose flour
1/3 cups Unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon Baking soda
1/4 teaspoon Salt
2 teaspoons Instant coffee crystals (French roast or other Coffee)
2 teaspoons Coffee liqueur
1 cup White sugar
3/4 cup Dark brown sugar; packed
1 cup Salted butter; softened
2 large Eggs
10 oz Semisweet chocolate bar, coarsely chopped


Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a medium bowl... combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt. Mix well with a wire whisk and set aside. In a small bowl, dissolve coffee crystals in coffee liqueur and set aside. In a large bowl, blend sugars with an electric mixer at medium speed. Add butter and mix to form a grainy paste. Scrape down sides of bowl. Then add eggs and dissolved coffee crystals, and beat at medium speed until smooth. Add the flour mixture and chocolate chunks, and blend at low speed just until combined. Do not overmix. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet, 2 inches apart. Bake for 23-25 minutes. Immediately transfer cookies with a spatula to a cool, flat surface.