Saturday, July 11, 2009

Futomaki, coughing, Martha, smoking at gas stations

This thing restarted overnight! Actually, I heard it restart from the other room, but was way too tired to contemplate an entry for "time documentation" purposes! Henry picked me up at about 3:40, and after some chatting about not leaving the window open since it was too hot, we were on our way. Discussed the extension into summer, and the kids only having one month off - it happens! At Awana, Prima was coughing something fierce, but we all helped her. Golden asked if I knew how to fix staplers - nope, and Chrystal got frustrated by them a lot at work. Some flower guy came in with an invoice - I guess I'll give that to my dad tomorrow since he would know who handles the office money if he doesn't do it himself! I got rid of a LOT of change, and talked to a couple of parents too. Sean wanted me to help open his cracker package because it was "too weird," and his brother Ian also said that it was weird being eight instead of seven! Heard about an Awana barbecue on the last day from 5 to 8 instead of the usual time: interesting, I think.

On the way home, Sean asked whether I saw people running, and didn't want smoke at the gas station. Ian knows why we shouldn't do that - big flames, indeed! (or the Zoolander "orange mocha frappuccino" scene, haha) Someone says I should order futomaki - I'll keep that in mind next time I go for sushi! ;) Also playing Word Twist against two separate people named Martha (Molchan and Smith) - nice coincidence!

Facebook quizzes taken from Becky, Darren, and Gabriel:

Leslie took the The Subconscious Quiz quiz and the result is The Worker. You want only for what you really need. A loyal, honest, and hardworking type who requires only the simplest things from life; a home, a partner, a family, and a good meal. You are prepared to work for all you earn, and these strong principles will see you right. There are some around you that seek to take to take advantage of your generous and selfless ways, so be wary not to give so much of yourself that there isn't enough for those that truly matter. But there are also some around you that wish only to have some of your good-natured ways rub off on them, and you must learn to judge this difference and act accordingly. You are a good soul, and keeping things simple will keep you happy.

Leslie took the What are you worth quiz and the result is $50. Wow, you're pimping.

Leslie took the How many times will you fall in love before you marry? quiz and the result is 0 times. You love the man / woman you will be with, and you will be accepted and loved by the person you will be with. (YEAH RIGHT!)

Leslie took the What Michael Jackson Song are You? quiz and the result is Black or White. You're an all around good person! You look for the good in people, and get along with everyone! People feel comfortable with you.

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Thank goodness for refillable water bottles and bubble solution!

I was just in time to meet Eric this afternoon, despite some stupid idiot causing a delay on the bus by lugging a mini-CAR on the bus with heavy boxes on it. Of course, this practically made the front ramp detach from the vehicle... WHAT A MORON! Eric said that it was like he hadn't seen me for ages, so we spent some time updating each other on stuff. It was nice to hear that Summer Con had been good. He commented on my sunglasses not being as cool as my mother's, which are pretty large. Hey, those felt too big for me, man! Also discussed the BC Lions starting today - no, I was not going to ROAR!

Got to church and said hi to Hannah, Priscilla, and Natalie. After drinking some water and refilling my water bottle, I went to the chapel where Jeremy / Christon / Nathan / Eric were. Asked Eric what he wanted for dinner; he seemed surprised that I hadn't eaten before I left, but I never eat dinner at 4 PM! He reassured me that there was a Subway inside Superstore, so off I went even if he didn't have cash. Luckily for the both of us, I had plenty! It was only two blocks to Superstore, but it was so HOT OUTSIDE that I felt like expiring! Saw some HUGE clear bottles of bubble solution (1.89 L) on sale for $4.50 each, so had to buy one in a blue (not green or pink) bottle after I figured out where the Subway location was inside the Superstore. (they also had Great Clips!) The people behind me in line were Janice, Justin (11), and Bianca (7) - WHAT A SURPRISE! Bianca had recognized me, and their mom let me go ahead of them since I only had one item. Then I ordered Eric's and my Subway sandwiches - the new spicy buffalo chicken turned out to be disappointing in terms of spiciness, but I always say that!

When I got back, a bunch of the teens had arrived. I said hi to Emily and Sam (eating McDonalds), and found a good position to eat my sandwich - sitting on the stairs! Margaret had a question about tomorrow's Awana program: I hadn't heard that we were doing anything special (although I did vaguely remember something), so told her to ask Emily instead! Said hi to Jessica (with a Starbucks coffee), and ate until we could go into the fellowship hall. Bumped into Jonathan and talked to him for a bit about the townhouse, Mom making steak and other good things, helping to sing for our bit tonight, barbecues, work, and other things - good to see him! Sat between Eric and Jeremy, and shared a bunch of amusement, especially when Stanley made "turn off your cell phones!" into a mini icebreaker.

Jonathan and I weren't really into playing the real icebreaker game of "rock paper scissors, superhero style," so stood by the doors watching. Isabel, Jon, and Harmony showed up just then - I told them what was going on. Timothy did an okay job of their set, Daniel did a better one, and David was (as I'd hoped) the best. Since I had to hold hands with a stranger, I thanked God for my hand sanitizer. After everything was over, there was a snack time. Talked to Harmony, Jon, Pastor John, Nathan, Andrea, Darren, Julie, and others about Portland / Craigslist / the week / orange towels / support / my green frog organizer in Jon and Harmony's shower / landlords / the Olympics / apartments / rent. Laughed at Stanford and Calla's suggestions for Emily when proposal time comes from Mike: look at the ring, wait for him to finish asking the question, and think of your actions in a flowchart! Went home with Eric after reminding him about getting gas: talked about teriyaki McChicken (chopsticks?), gaming references, craziness, and more. Good times, haha.

Facebook quiz taken from Steve L., or Wrath:

Leslie completed the quiz "What kind of old person will you be?" with the result The Grandma That Never Leaves. Your youngest child may be 87 years old, but that's no reason to move into your own place! At 112, you're more than willing to make your kids' lives hell until the day you kick the bucket! You'll annoy the hell out of them by asking them to repeat themselves 18 times because you went deaf 13 years ago. Another fun game is to ridicule their significant other and constantly remind them that they were never good enough for your son / daughter, and you never liked them. You're beyond controlling, and have a blast being that way. Keep it up, you creepy-looking dinosaur!

Poo nugget for this weekend: Gut Check - The gas that we pass from our rectum comes from one of two sources: swallowed air or intestinal production. Aerophagia, or excessive swallowing of air, can cause patients to feel bloated or to pass large quantities of flatus - it has to go somewhere! Doctors can determine where the excess gas buildup is coming from by measuring the concentrations of various gases in expelled flatus. Swallowed air will be high in nitrogen (the most abundant gas in the atmosphere), while intestinal gas will be made up mostly of carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane.

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Friday, July 10, 2009

You are NOT the descendant of Jesus Christ!

Eric and I had the shortest "Friday plans" phone call EVER just now - it clocked in at ten seconds! Of course, the call after the follow-up call (which I didn't answer because I was playing a timed game) was a normal length... and I'm sure he'll need to eat food! *sigh* He'll have to be there REALLY early, so maybe I'll bring something to read! (Vanessa H. also invited me to see Brüno tonight; luckily for my bank account, I already have plans - I hope Gillis makes us SHINE at the worship night so we can be the BEST!)

In July 2008, David told me that he is the descendant of Jesus Christ... HA HA HA.

Hi Leslie,

I finally figured out who I really am and why all these weird things happen to me.

Jesus Christ procreated. He had children with Mary Magdalene; so, there are people on this planet today who don't know they are actually direct descendants from Jesus Christ. For the first time in history, back in the 1970s, two people from that bloodline unknowingly came together and had a child; me! That's why I'm coming into all these amazing gifts. Jesus Christ is inside me. I have his eyes. Check it out. The resemblance is uncanny...

LOL! HAHAHA!! Teresa would flip out. It's true, and once I figured it out, I did receive confirmation from God that I figured it out correctly. A Reiki Master has already been chosen to train me and help me make the transition from a regular guy from Richmond with a physical ailment to the man who will save humanity from itself.

You really are beautiful on the inside and out, Leslie! You light up a room with your smile, and you have so much amazing energy.

The funny thing is, I wouldn't have figured this out if it weren't for Teresa. I was seeing the same 3 digit number sequences constantly on license plates, and I had no idea what they meant; but, when she put the bible in my hand and I saw the 3 digit passage numbers, I got it in my head that the numbers I was seeing were bible passages.

Of course, I don't know what I'm doing. I've never read the bible, any part of it, and as an Atheist, I have spent 31 years keeping all knowledge of religion out of my life, so it's complete gibberish to me. For the first 20 years of my life, people would forget my name is David and call me Michael, within the same conversation, no less. Then, I was in Cancun for spring break in the year 2000, which ended up being a massive religious event because of the Equinox. I was staying at Club Med where this strange old man came up to me and told me I'm more special than everyone else and I'll find out why someday. Club Med is a fish bowl, and I should have seen him there all week; but, he disappeared after that. My grandfather came home one day in the 50s and changed the family name, as well as everyone's first name. We don't know why. It's a family mystery. My father's original name was John, and his cell phone number begins with 818; John 8:18 is the first bible reference to talk about the archangel Michael. As well, Michael is then mentioned in the Book of Daniel (my brother is Brian DANIEL) which talks about the Tribulation, and everywhere I go, I am inundated with the number 666. I see it everywhere, as well as 818 and 416 (my grandmother's phone number). Thessalonians 4:16 then talks about the return of Christ, which is supposed to occur after the Tribulation. I thought it was odd that all these numbers I was seeing could be matched up to related bible passages. That was the beginning, and that lead me to this discovery as to who I really am.

Boy oh boy Leslie, you sure do have friends in high places. LOL!

Of course you can be in on it. I'm Jesus Christ's blood relative, and he was human, just like me. I'm not a supernatural being. This is overwhelming and I need people in my life who I can confide in. Without anyone to tell, the biggest part of my identity would stay bottled up inside, and that isn't fair to me and it's not emotionally healthy.

I'm still here in Houston. I'm leaving tomorrow for New Orleans. There's a hurricane on its way; but, based on the way things have played out on this vacation, I have a feeling I should continue along this course instead of going somewhere else. So far, there have been weather conditions and car problems that were meant to get me stuck in certain places at certain times to speak with certain people. I'm thinking, if I'm meant to go to New Orleans, I'll get there. If I'm detoured or delayed by the weather, then God needed to be in New Orleans at a certain time, or perhaps, I'm supposed to end up somewhere else. I just won't know why until I meet the person I'm supposed to talk to, or see the clue I'm supposed to see. But, at the same time, I shouldn't detour myself. I'll let God do that for me. If I really should just turn around and go in the opposite direction, then then the weather will be unsurpassable. But, we'll just have to see. Wish me luck.

I'm a protected commodity on this planet. My life will never be in danger. Case in point, I was driving through Golden, B.C. in 2006 while driving to Toronto, and a motorcyclist wiped out up ahead and the motorcycle was flying straight for me; but, at the last minute, it curved and went around me. I won't tempt fate and push forward if conditions become too bad; I'll know when it's time to alter course.

Interesting?!?! Hahahaha! Try living it. It's just plain bizarre. I'm only 31, and they could already make a movie about my life story. LOL! But, I suppose it's a lot better than waking up, going to a desk job, coming home, and going to bed. This vacation I'm on right now is like I've stepped into one of my old King's Quest games from the 80s where I go from place to place talking to people, finding out information, getting clues, and figuring out what to do next, except in this case, things are playing out with similarities to the Da Vinci Code.

I'll be back by the 18th at the latest. I'm leaving New Orleans on Thursday, and heading to Vegas for a few days. Then, I'll head back home. I have a wedding to go to in Seattle on the 16th. I don't know if I'll be stopping in Seattle along the way, or going home first and then going back. It just depends on when I get back to that part of the world.

GUESS WHAT?!?! And don't repeat this to anyone: I did a psychic reading here in New Orleans, and I found out that I will meet someone and have a child, which makes me so so very happy. I've been worried that wouldn't happen. But the thing is this... the woman I will someday marry is someone who I have been talking to a lot over the last month and a half. She has dark hair, dark eyes, and is 5'9". There really is someone who I have been talking to a lot lately with that description. I've been talking to her a lot because she works in Richmond Centre, and she's psychic too, so I've been able to talk to her about the things that go on in my life because she'll believe me. You are not going to believe this. It's Leigh Germann.

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Assoholic camel spiders who are Mad Hatters with Magic Bullets

Facebook quizzes taken from Chris R., Kelly, Jessica G., Kaitlin, and Ryan:

Leslie took the What's Your Mental Age? quiz. (Plow through this quiz & we'll tell you what your real age is, up in your noggin.) Leslie's result is "6 Months Old." You love to get pampered, take lots of naps, and eat mashed bananas. Okay, we're only speculating on the mashed bananas. And really, there's nothing wrong with that stuff. You love to be comfortable and close to the people you love. That stuff's all great! Just be sure to change your diaper every once in a while.

Leslie took the What swearing word best suits you? quiz and got the result: @sshole.

Leslie completed the quiz "Which Terrifying Creature Are You?" with the result Camel Spider. You're very misunderstood. People tend to be put off by your appearance, but really... you just want to be friends with everyone! You are known for being fast and hating the sun, but you're generally friendly and intelligent. You can be a very loyal friend once people give you a chance.

Leslie took the Which Batman Villain Are You? quiz and the result is The Mad Hatter. "Mad as a hatter." You grew up with no friends, which probably led to your mental instability and your childishness. You became a scientific genius studying mind control. You have an obsession with hats as well as the story Alice in Wonderland. You are delusional and believe you are the "Mad-Hatter," and often use mind control technology to carry out crimes.

Leslie completed the quiz "What Super Trooper are you?" with the result Officer Robert "Rabbit" Roto. You are the newest addition to the force. You are partnered with Lt. Ramathorn until he is caught speeding in a car confiscated as stolen property. You are temporarily relegated to dispatch. However, you are later reinstated due to another trooper's actions. You are often accused by Farva of knowing more about drugs than you should, and are accused of having toured with the Grateful Dead when you were younger. Although you are the new guy and rookie of the team, you are noticeably more accepted by and welcomed in the group by the others than Farva is, a source of contention with the latter.

Leslie completed the quiz "WHAT INSANELY BADASS INFOMERCIAL PRODUCT ARE YOU?" with the result YOU'RE A FUCKING MAGIC BULLET! That's right, you're a MAGIC BULLET. That FUCKING AWESOME blender that every person in America wants. You blend all kinds of shit. Throw in some cheese, salsa, and guacamole! Throw in some fresh fruit, I don't care! Throw in your FUCKING GRANDMOTHER for crying out loud! You'll BLEND IT ALL! Sure, you sell for $99.99, but you'll get all kinds of awesome shit you didn't even know you needed! Look at all this crap! A FUCKING JUICER! SOME FUCKING BADASS PARTY CUPS WITH COLORED TOPS SO YOU DON'T FUCKING DRINK OUT OF SOMEONE ELSE'S CUP LIKE YOU PROBABLY WOULD IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE COLORED TOPS! You've got it all, my friend, and an awesome commercial to prove it. It puts the 'AD' in BADASS!

Poo nugget for Friday, July 10: Doo You Know? - "Poopsocking" - With the increasing popularity of online gaming comes a new term to describe the unwavering commitment of some players who would rather poop in their sock than take a break from their computer to use the toilet.

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

Lemon, pomegranate, and scents with Chrystal / Sliding doors are not private entrances!

I ran out to meet Chrystal after she called me, but I had to get my stuff together first. She was inside London Drugs, looking at a display of some UV-blocking polarized Fit-Over sunglasses which were on sale at 40% off the price. After discussions on the size and color of the lenses, I decided to get a pair as well... I'd have gotten a sepia-lens one instead of clear-lens, but didn't like everything being tinted that color if I had to use my good vision! Besides, the large lenses felt too big on my face... they had medium-large ones, and that was perfect! It would always bug me that others could get sunglasses without caring about prescription, and prescription sunglasses just cost too much. Fit-overs will be fine for when I do go out in the sun and such; good thing for Chrystal that she can return them at any London Drugs! Yay for a fellow sunglass buddy!

We spent some time deciding what to do, and eventually went to Boston Pizza for one green salad shared between the two of us. She insisted on treating, and buying me some green apple Life lotion / some digestive biscuits / savory seeds and grains crackers from Shoppers Drug Mart / a cotton candy ice cream bubble tea with coconut jelly (as "something different") from Big Orange later on - she said it was NOTHING since I was always so kind in inviting her to my birthday parties and things like that. It works for me!

Talked about struggles, health, venting, talkative people, buying stuff and never using it, focusing on a normal conversation, mailing Candy's card, lotion, hand cream / sanitizer, body wash, Fellowship, Emily and Mike, Jon and Harmony's wedding, TV shows, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TLC, urban songs, the jazz festival, hanging out with friends, Jeremy, and more. We went around Shoppers Drug Mart just smelling a bunch of the various lotions and body washes - so much choice! Body milk, carrot, lavender, Calgone, The Healing Garden, rice, rooibos tea, mango, lemon, pomegranate, ginger, citrus, honey nut, papaya, argon oil, Axe intense stuff, Irish Spring, and so much more!

After that good time, we had to go our separate ways. Got to the townhouse to find nobody there yet, so my mom tried convincing me that I was a thief because Grandma always thinks those people will ring the doorbell, and also that the sliding door to the backyard was a "private entrance" - nice try, but NO. Was nice to see Rachel, Lisa, and Auntie Esther again! Had crab (with the high-cholesterol yellow gut juice), Chinese vinegar dip, mussels, Coke, strawberry salad, ribs, curry chicken, tiny potatoes, and more stuff for dinner. Talked about Jocelyn, Clement, weddings, Fort Mac, Edwin and Karen's dad dying, Auntie May's dad dying of liver cancer as well, work, appointments, the library, moving, Dallas, Jonathan playing at worship night tomorrow, barbecues, guilt, rent, beer, and more. I was glad to get home with the beer soap from Jon's honeymoon; I didn't take any of Mom's fruit jam with me!

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Eglantine, Wren, Victoria's Secret, and Kaitlin

This thing restarted overnight! The only parts I remember out of my dream: Mom trying to get me and my friends to spend time with her when we had other things going on (NO WAY!), a huge bag filled with a cornucopia of M&Ms in all sizes and colors, a large elevator suitable for hauling huge flats of water / juice and plenty of people besides, and remembering a movie I'd watched in 1989 with characters named Jasmine / Eglantine / Wren. Hmm.

Lesley added me to Facebook - I thought she wasn't going to have an account there due to her job, but I guess she just needs to be careful about things. Got phone calls from Barry regarding subsidy and such, and Chrystal just called too. YAY FOR HANGOUT TIME!

Facebook quiz taken from Kaitlin:

Leslie took the quiz Which Victoria's Secret Angel Are You? and the result is Daniela Pestova. Gorgeous and chameleon-like.

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Bruises and stippling / ORANGE TOWELS! / Nail polish

Why in the heck do I have what looks like black bruises and white stippling (?) on her arm when I scratch said bruises?! Maybe I'm dying! (vitamin deficiency?) Apparently, I have beer soap from my brother - we'll see about that if Rachel's dinner is on! (according to my mom, it is - I just want to see Rachel, who's only in town for a couple of days)

Did some cleaning, then bused out to the bank to do some stuff. After that, I went to the Bay and decided to see if they had any orange towels (I'd told Harmony that I'd find her some after the bridal shower!) and black underwear. (Sears was at the other end of the mall - lazy, I know :P) They did indeed have a few orange-ish towels, so I picked one. It turned out to be more expensive than I thought, but I won't use it - it's Part 3 (and final) of Jon and Harmony's wedding present. Got the clerk to put it in a yellow box, and give me a gift receipt besides. (finding a big yellow bag that fit was a challenge!) I also picked up a Life equivalent of Febreze to complete the gift at Shoppers Drug Mart later, along with my sorely-needed toilet paper!

The next stop was Carlton Cards, where I picked up four cards and got one free. (the new location of Pearl Castle is across from the card shop - no more Kin's Farm Market!) Auntie Fonda got a "thinking of you" card for the death of her cat - it coincidentally had a cat on the front - OOPS for sympathy effect! =/ Jon and Harmony got the same for their gift - their card was green with trees. Candy got a birthday card (a little girl with a bunch of purses!) which I'll hopefully mail out tomorrow since I haven't memorized her address yet - Corey's, I have. Also, I have one spare birthday card (dogs with party hats!) to use whenever something comes up.

Then I had to eat something, so I got a sukiyaki beef combo (rice / carrots / beef / mushrooms / cabbage / iced tea) from Edo Sushi - I haven't ordered from them since last summer, when a certain evil person was still here! I overheard someone else order something with the instructions to hold the mushrooms... I thought Corey would have a field day with that since he doesn't like mushrooms, haha! Spent an hour in the food court just writing out the cards, eating, and reading the news from the daily paper.

It was kinda heavy to carry all the items to the nearest bus stop later, but I managed to survive. Got home by 7, called Chrystal (who wasn't home yet), left a message with the ugfart (I don't want to know what he's doing right now...), and chilled. Chrystal called back, and wondered how I knew who she was - CALLER ID, BABY! She sounded kinda blah, but (after asking if I lived close to the mall) said that I should probably wait for her call tomorrow before I go to meet her at Coles since she might be really late. Sounds good to me - we're both looking forward to this!

Facebook quiz taken from Gretchen:

Leslie completed the quiz "What OPI nail polish are you?" with the result Make Men Blush. You love the natural look, and do not need makeup to be beautiful. You have a strange hold on men that your friends do not understand. Your personality is sweet, but seductive. (HA! Hardly!)

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Toxin-free on cruise ships with Johnny Depp and Sloan!

I'm no longer sick... I think I know the approximate time my body became (not really) toxin-free. No, I'm not crazy! But I should quit procrastinating (which is what I've been doing for the past five hours), and go out to get stuff DONE!

Leslie completed the quiz "Which Memphis, TN hood are you?" with the result Germantown. Can you say: prep? How about: stuck up? If not, then you'd better learn, because these words describe you! Don't get us wrong, you cool sometimes.. real cool.. "best man at da wedding" cool. But that's just sometimes... most of the times, people rather enjoy puttin' you in yo place. (Just because I chose all the SAFE options?! Sheesh... if this is what Memphis is really like, I'm glad I wasn't convinced when Stephen was around back in 2004-2005! That, or there are a lot of black gangster (wannabe?) types in Memphis! :P)

Facebook quizzes taken from Jennifer J., Diane, Jemima, and Shannon:

Leslie just took the "If I was working on a Cruise ship, I'd be..." quiz and the result is Purser. You don't have a clue what you're doing, but you're willing to smile and kiss ass to make it to the top. Make sure you always have toothpaste and Listerine close by!

Leslie completed the quiz "Which celebrity should you marry?" with the result Johnny Depp. You should marry Johnny Depp. You like the bad boy turned good type, the hotel room trasher turned loveable daddy type. He is your soul mate.

Leslie took the How much can you love someone? quiz and got the result: With 50% of my heart. (Damn right! I need the other half for different people in my life!)

Leslie took the What is the Name of the person you will Marry? quiz and got the result: I will Marry: Sloan. (The only person I ever knew with that "name" was a girl. I would never want to date anybody with that name anyway, just in case he thought those types of names were EXCELLENT for children. Besides, it sounds too preppy. :P)

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Stick Figure Warning Men, LOVE STRATEGIES, Chinese Eric, and toilet paper!

From Spoz's friend Lauren: The Deadly Follies of Stick Figure Warning Man and Family... this is FUNNY!

Chinese Eric caught me just as I got out of the shower... I had to yell at the apartment door for him to HANG ON, since he came in the building while someone else was entering. (I wasn't expecting that!) Decided to debut my shiny / bling-bling / sparkly "gold and white" sweater from my mother to stay somewhat warm... I didn't want to get MORE chills, and it was raining outside besides! After I got dressed, I let him in for a minute or two before we left for California Café to wait for Nathan. We chatted about the Jazz Festival, Hong Kong, AAA ribeye steak, free refills on drinks (take ADVANTAGE!), mixed grill, wieners (coughing was choking on one :P), health adjustments to Hong Kong, shemales, blogging / invites, German / French girls being OPEN, kids, dating strategies, Facebook, being NON-CREEPY, Jon and Harmony, Phil, Sean, Bryant, thirty kids in ten years, Shirley, girlfriends, Vanessa, the LOVE DOCTOR, Adela, Alan, Tracy, Megan, using English and Chinese, long-distance relationships, Danielle, Citrus, and Fay.

Also discussed beef, Cornish hen, being sick and feeling better, hockey (Sedins and goalies), sports coverage, Michael Jackson, the cultural divide between Hong Kong people and Westernized Chinese people, partying it up in Hong Kong, the GHOST on CNN Larry King Live interviews, Nathan's schooling in the UK, Germany, Hong Kong life, yin-yang, black peppercorn sauce, and more. After dinner and a nice LONG chat that lasted two hours, Eric decided to hang out at my house till about 11:45 - another precious two hours of chilling time! We discussed North American sports coverage, my apartment situation, work, his "White Man" nickname among his co-workers, (Asian) parental nagging, soccer, baseball, football, horse racing, basketball, Bathroom Readers, hockey, blogging, the spelling of various words, the bathroom, water, signing my guestbook, Terrence, the Kandoo Frog, the wedding pictures that I put up on Facebook, Cindy, Joey, Ivan, Dianne, Andrea, Peter, Harmony, Holly, Brittney, Myles, Jeremy, Grandma, and more. Hugged him goodbye, of course - who knows when I'll see him again?!

Since I had about two tall glasses of yin-yang with ice, I might be awake for some more time yet because of all that caffeine... yikes! Note to self: Call Chrystal tomorrow night to confirm OUR hangout time at Coles / Richmond Centre on Thursday, and see if Jon and Harmony are free to make it to the So dinner.

Poo nugget for Wednesday, July 8: U.K. TP - Andrex, a United Kingdom subsidiary of Kimberly-Clark, sells 1.5 million rolls of toilet paper in the UK each day. That's the equivalent of 18 rolls a second! Each year, 8.25 million miles of Andrex are used in the UK. Twelve years of usage would be enough to stretch to the sun.

(This link from Sharlene is appropriate... CNN on Why Toilet Paper Belongs To America, or Its History. Also speaking of toilet paper, I'm down to about four rolls now, so I need to buy more of the stuff - perhaps tomorrow or Thursday, what with my stupid annoying health issues! :P)

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Your poo can produce electricity!

High-scoring word of the night:

THIRD (176 points) - against Itamar R. [two 4W]

Regarding the bruises and stuff, Jane thinks it might be anemia, so I should try some iron. But I had some steak just yesterday... and damn good it was, too! Maybe it's the hand sanitizer... yikes!

Poo nugget for Thursday, July 9: Doo You Know? - The Power of Poo - After you flush down your poo, it ends up at a wastewater treatment facility. There, it ferments into biogas, a tremendous potential power resource. If biogas from a wastewater treatment facility was captured and used to power a fuel cell, each person's poo could produce approximately two watts of electricity per day.

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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Spongebob and Mario tagging!

I played two Word Twist games against people whose last name is Lowe (Julie and Gretchen), and I don't think they're related - yay for quirkiness! Chinese Eric just got on MSN to say he was heading over now... good timing, as I was just about to take a shower. Says he got Nathan to come out again, since there's some mysterious stuff he wants our opinions on - well, that's good for Nathan since he couldn't get together with Eric last week. Got him to give me his temporary number in case I accidentally delete it from my Caller ID when he does get here, heh.

Here's a tagging picture that I got from one of Edwin's friends when I left condolences on his wall just now:

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Well, the crazy one did give me support over abuse / rent / walkups...

Stella added me to Facebook, which is cool. I have slightly more energy and some appetite now, which is good for tonight's plans! Another computer restart seems a good time to give you David S.'s interpretation of my "nice guy" dream, back in August 2008.

I didn't want to post this publicly... The dream could have been about K. K being the nice guy. The dream could have been about your relationship with him. You met him, he's a nice guy, and you got married. Sort of the Reader's Digest version. Or... the dream was precognitive and, although you're engaged to K right now, something happens, and the two of you don't get married. Instead, you marry someone else.

I'm sorry about the toxicity. It seemed like you met someone great. I've been really routing for you.

The dream you had could very well have been a scene from the future. If that's the case... you'll be getting married, and that makes me happy.

Here's the thing: EVERYONE is psychic. Just not everyone is tapped into it. Children are born with psychic ability turned on; but, through the process of being taught things like that aren't real, it gets turned off. It's possible, you're not completely turned off.

Here's some questions:

Do you frequently have coincidences?

Does it seem like your life is playing out like you're following a path instead of just randomly moving through life? Like, does everything in your life seem to happen like a chain reaction, like a soap opera plotline? Is the present dependent on the past?

Do you ever know things ahead of time?

(after I answered his questions with mostly negative / iffy responses)

Sounds like you're turned off. LOL! If you were experiencing it, you'd know what I mean.

What do you mean by menacing? Mutual abuse?

You can't change the future; I don't think. If you knew who you were going to marry, then if you were too giggly around him, that's what would get his attention.

(I told him about the "pinning me down on the bed / smacking me and telling me that I deserved it in Chilliwack" / "restraining and choking him here" / "computer password so I couldn't use my own damn machine" / "scratching him and making him bleed because he pushed me away from my computer since I wanted to see what was going on" incidents)

OH MY GOD!! What the fuck? That's domestic abuse! Run, as fast as you can. You don't deserve crap like that.

(I told him that he knew I wasn't like that, and sounding like I was trying to convince the both of us!)

No. It sounds like you were defending yourself. He's much bigger than you, and when he gets like that, it's probably really scary.

He's a classic abuser. He hits you, then he feels bad, apologizes, says he'll never do it again, and then does it again as soon as he loses it.

(then I said that I have READ true crime stories where the victims are intelligent enough to not get involved in things like that, yet they still do...)

Don't think like that. There is nothing wrong with you. You didn't have a crystal ball that allowed you to foresee this. So many women stay in such relationships for decades. They allow themselves to be convinced it is their fault or they think they can change him. Or they stay together for the kids. Look at you! You are strong! You can see what is happening and you're going to leave him. There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with him! I told him that you are beautiful on the inside AND out... and I believe it!

{I told him that I'd been very close to telling him to come in that day we randomly met at Save-On, and K had always said that I couldn't get rid of him that easily}

If you ever need to escape him at a moment's notice. Just call me at [phone number deleted]. My home is always available. He won't find you at my place.

{told him that K was in Kamloops for good, and I should have told him this in his car}

Does that mean you are broken up? He's out of your life?

It wouldn't have been a bother. Your friends should know this kind of stuff is happening.

(told him that I was pretty much done with him, except for the library book)

Good! Sounds like you're pretty much done with him then. What a loser! I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Honestly, Leslie... Has the world gone mad?

I'm probably saying it again because the world really has gone mad. Lol! There's actually a lot of negative energy in Vancouver and that really affects people. They just don't realize it. I consciously feel it because of how i'm wired. I want to leave. Life is better elsewhere.

The Lower Mainland is tough for finding good places to rent. Most are dumps. I own a 3 storey walk up at Broadway and Commercial and I always hear how hard it is to find clean places. Plus with the cost of everything these days, a dump can cost $1000.

What about checking the place with stairs because if it's nice, maybe you can move to a lower floor if one becomes available. Also check Rent BC.

My healing ability is supposedly really good for depression as it rebalances the mind, body, and soul. I've been learning a lot about this lately... I didn't know this but all the crap from your past actually stays inside you and keeps building and building until that energy is released, and it causes depression and anxiety.

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Watching Michael Jackson's memorial / Rectal irritation

Pest control came by at 10:15 AM to put down traps, which was a good thing. Says the mice aren't hiding - yeah, sure. At least I got some sleep, but still need more rest - stupid gastro issues! Grace reminded me about the Michael Jackson memorial on CNN, so I'm watching that right now. RIP, indeed!

Last night, I talked to Billie and Corey about not really eating anything all day - I know Corey says it isn't good, so I had some dry cereal before I went to bed. Cooking something might have resulted in an adverse outcome, and I had no real energy for that anyhow. Eric Ho sent me messages from an "offline" state, so I had to switch from Trillian to real MSN. He asked if I were free to hang out tonight as opposed to tomorrow, so I said sure... I know it's the last chance I'll have to see him in who knows how long! Although running to the bathroom after every few Western / Chinese bites at the California Café in Lansdowne isn't going to look very good... oh well, he understood about things the last time we hung out (at Kimchi Nara) and I wasn't feeling at my best! I took some Ng Po Powder, and tested my system by eating some crackers... it seems okay.

Poo nugget for Tuesday, July 7: Q & A - What Causes Rectal Pain After A Massive Dump? - There are three possible causes of a sore rectum resulting from passage of a turd. First, the girth of the stool causes your anal sphincter to stretch. On occasion, this can result in the formation of an anal fissure, which is a small tear in the sphincter muscle. Second, you can have irritation of the perianal region caused by the ingestion (and eventual excretion) of spicy foods. Third, you can have hemorrhoidal inflammation.

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Monday, July 06, 2009

You were in JAIL and couldn't go to Brown's Social House?!

This is where David S. stands me up on my own birthday, of all days!

Hi Leslie,

I hate to do this such short notice, and this is something that I never do; but, I have to cancel. I hate doing this because I was picking you up; but, I just can't do it. I was arrested and I just got out of jail. The whole thing is stupid and absurd and it shouldn't have happened; but, the whole experience was hard on my body. I didn't have any of my medication and I was in agony for 30 hours. I thought a distraction tonight would be good; but, I just don't have the strength yet to go out and be around other people.

Happy Birthday; though. I'll make it up to you. I'll treat you to lunch sometime next week, and I'll tell you the entire story. I am so sorry for standing you up on your birthday. Thanks for understanding.

Have fun tonight. I'm suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. I just have to ride it out and give myself time. It'll pass. I'm strong. Thanks, Leslie. I didn't do anything wrong. It's one big misunderstanding that snowballed out of proportion. I know... a likely story; but, in my case, it's true.

Then I checked up on him about a week later:

I'm doing a lot better. Thanks for checking up on me.

There is a townhouse on Buswell that I fell in love with; but, I can't afford it right now. It's perfect for what I need at this point in my life after being really sick, so I'm feeling a bit down about that. I really love it. I really want it! Oh well. We still must go for lunch.

We never did go for lunch, or get together at Christmas. I never got to hear the "jail" story, either! Although I did see the townhouse, at least.

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NARUTO characters, love or suicide, stripper life

I may be sick, but here are a few more Memegens for your enjoyment:

What do the Naruto characters think of you? (girls, please) by itachiFanatic
Your name, please
Your favorite color
Naruto imaginedyou naked.
Sasuke screamedwhen you dumped him.
Sakura hatesyour search for power.
Gaara wantsto hurt you.
Kakashi hopesyou like him.
Itachi thinksyou like Neji, Gaara, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Naruto, etc. (oO)
Neji thinkshe caught your cold
Shikamaru was surprised whenyou kissed him.
Kabuto thoughtyou stole his glasses.
Orochimaru thinksyou kissed Kabuto.

Will he be your LOVE or your reason for suicide? by youaremyeverthing
The Percent that he loves you
The Percent You love him
You will die of heartbreak onJanuary 27, 2031
How many people will come to your funeral154

Sounds okay in terms of love percentages, haha.

A day in the life as a stripper by Buttercup_06
Your name
Your age
Date you will startMay 17, 2009
Date you will stopDecember 27, 2048
How much money you make a day$1,986
Your jobClimbing the pole
Your stripper nameRoxy

So I've already started?! Oh my. o_O

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Jazz Festival, and getting sick chills

The family picked me up for church yesterday - I guessed they were late since they had to pick up Harmony at her parents' place. We had a very interesting family conversation about poo, Terrence, Facebook, Steph, cops, and other things. Let's just say it was an NG conversation, haha. Also discussed family nicknames, a joke "you're expecting!" card my mom wanted to give Daniel, Edwin and Karen's dad dying on Thursday, and Rachel getting into town. Got to service late, but managed to find space for three people by Mike T. Said hi to Cindy, Serena, Pastor Fulton (her dad), Danielle, and others during service. Afterwards, I gave Harmony the green frog bathroom organizer and some Lindt chocolate - she appeared to really like it, heh.

Talked to Chrystal, and finally made plans to meet this week on Thursday at Coles - also checked with Kevin when the Committee meeting was... next Monday works! Saw Elaine and Matt back from Hawaii, so talked to them for a bit - also talked to Shally, Johnny (wedding dress shopping?!), and others. Mike asked me about grad banquet, so I gave him the money for my ticket before I forgot or ran out. Decided to go to the Jazz Festival with a bunch of people including Jen, so went upstairs to tell Auntie Fonda. Only the twins today, so it was fine - glad she's feeling up to teaching! Went upstairs again to put the caring cards in the Fellowship box by the elevator, and give some cookies in the Ziploc bag for the kids. No, we hadn't left yet!

Went to Pho Tan for lunch with Calla, Johnny, Stanford, Jon, Harmony, Jen, Vanessa, Nathan, and others. Talked about Panties on Hoops, the Magic Bra, the Night Market, possible pets, Yvonne's fat bunny, broadcasting school, wedding songs, Megan and Wayland getting married (not to each other since that would be wrong), smoking, London, and other interesting topics. Then some of us bused to the Jazz Festival, and had a good time listening to Sound Gallery - discussed white bearded guys, Robin, Jon sounding strange when he introduced Harmony as his wife, shopping for stuff at the Bay (last day of a sale!), Yaletown Brewery, duck pizza, spinach pizza, BBQ beef pizza, high-definition baseball games, tennis (Roger Federer), sex, downing an iced Thai tea in ten seconds, Urban Fare, Shally's last name being U, dancing, workshops, condoms, not wanting to know if Jon and Harmony followed Jeremy's wedding night advice, Jeremy's dad's health, and more.

I bused home with Harmony - we'd had a good time today, and couldn't believe it was 9 already! Discussed what she and Jon would call each other's parents (Chinese or weird nicknames work), what Peter and Holly call each other's parents, living separately for now, logistics, and plans for the week. When I got home, I attempted to listen to the old-time radio shows... for some reason, I felt really tired and unwell. I thought I was fine without a jacket at 9:40, but I guess not. Maybe it was the cold air in the Roundhouse room at the start of each performance - Jeremy was smart and brought a jacket. I'll have to remember that next year, although I know I won't. Didn't get out of bed till 3:10 PM after feeling really thirsty and icky... good thing Chrystal and I didn't make plans to meet today, like we were thinking of doing!

You Love Being Single

In general, you're very happy being single.

You like doing your own thing, and you're happy not to have to compromise.

You're not opposed to being attached, but you're not going to settle.

Someone else should enhance your life, and you're happy to wait for that person.

Facebook quiz taken from Ryan:

Leslie took the What mythical beast are you? quiz and the result is Dragon. Strong, wise, and sometimes fearsome, you are truly a powerful sight to behold. When you're not out on a calm flight around your territory or devouring sacrificial maidens, you like to rest quietly in your deep, dark cave guarding your very impressive treasure hoard from pesky knights.

Poo nugget for Monday, July 6: Doo You Know? - Cow-Tipping... Humans lack the enzyme necessary to digest cellulose, the main constituent in high-fiber foods. Cows also lack these necessary enzymes, but are able to digest the cellulose found in plant cell walls by utilizing enzymes produced by bacteria residing in their intestines.

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

Kenyon, Koalby, LaZello, and LeVoid

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.


Kash: The man in black. Prone to hiding valuables.

Kay C: One with a bright backup band. The man behind such smash hits as Shake, Shake, Shake and I'm Your Boogeyman.

Kenneth: Creepy professor with puffy hands that can't resist the feel of young nubile flesh.

Kenyon: A chasm between mountains that often houses deer, scrub oak, and rattlesnakes.

Koalby: The cuddly hybrid marsupial created by mating a koala and a wallaby. Hops very slowly. Also, the Texan with good teeth.

Kouvasier: A derivative of Courvoisier, a liquor popular with the ghetto fabulous.

Kurt: Child will speak only in short, rude sentence fragments. Will never let you speak.


Laddie: Lassie littermate who was much less adept at going for help.

LaDell: La Farmer in La Dell. LaFarmer in La Dell. Hi ho the dairy-o.... LaFarmer in LaDell.

LaMond: A bicycling superhero. A child with this name will be riding a two-wheeler before he can walk.

Lancer: One who uses a sharp stick or an instrument to puncture boils.

Landon: One whose life of good will reach from the dirt roads of the prairie to the highways of Heaven.

Laslo: High-end line of skin-care products used to firm and tighten.

Lavenard: Famous for the purple hue of his testicles. Possible careers include circus freak and porn star.

LaZello: A spicy Italian gelato dessert made famous by a New Orleans chef. Bam!

Leviathan: A giant sea monster. Exception to the rule: if you hope for a child doomed to become so morbidly obese that he will have to be removed from his trailer by a crane.

LeVoid: The process your French saleswoman must follow when she makes a mistake ringing you up. The ideal location to dispose of French citizens whom you have murdered in space.

Linton: An often multicolored bit of fluff found in the navel. This child will feel extraneous and unwanted.

Logan: The substance emitted from one's mouth after extensive throat clearing.

Lon: One who mows carpet, usually outdoors. Referred to as someone who can be walked all over.

Lord: Those with strong religious beliefs will never be able to praise the child for good behavior.

Lucky: Name will be an ironic reminder of all his failures.

Luis: Most likely a busboy.

Luke: Not quite hot, not quite cold. A very average child.

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I'm a Japanese Gothic Lolita?! Sweet!

Tonight, I played two Word Twist games against people whose name is Miranda (Jackson and Chatigny) - yay for quirky coincidences!

Facebook quizzes taken from Kaili and Jane:

Leslie completed the quiz "Which Japanese street fashion clique do you belong in?" with the result Gothic Lolita! You belong to the Gothic Lolita clique! In this group, you wear dark makeup and sometimes red, blue, or black lipstick, but in a natural way. Not at all clownish. Very sexy and sultry. You wear outfits that usually use dark color schemes like black, dark blues, and purples; often with accents of white. Your accessories include cross jewelry and other religious symbols. Other accessories, like bags and purses, are often in uncommon shapes like bats, coffins, and crucifixes. You're a deep person. Probably emo. You're eccentric and classy when you're not in full goth attire. Some see you as too serious, but you're just a very mature individual. Nothing wrong with that...

Leslie took the How Jewish are You? quiz and got the result: 67% Jewish.

Leslie took the What's your Native American Indian name? quiz and the result is Strong Heart. You have been through many storms which made you very compassionate and wise. You love to take care of others... family and friends come first.

Leslie completed the quiz "(The Real) How Mormon Are You?" with the result 0-25% Mormon. You may be what is known as a "Jack Mormon," or you may not be Mormon at all. In fact, you could simply be from the Midwest and have a natural inclination toward casserole recipes and big families. (Good... I like my caffeine too much!)

Leslie just took the "If you got arrested, what will it be for?" quiz and the result is indecent exposure. Put that away! (HAHAHA... yeah right!)

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