Saturday, January 31, 2004

Julie and PG's farewell dinner

woke up with only an hour to spare till I left..
got to church early for once, forgoing an email check..
looked at Hien and David's Chinese School report cards..
they both did very well, and I gave them some gum as usual..
later, Julie asked me why she was a "Miss" on a letter..
an auntie had given her some mail from Canada Trust..
I told her that it was because she wasn't married yet..
her mom Tanya told me that it may be a dormant account..

afterwards, Chrystal drove me to PG's farewell dinner..
it was confusing to find where we were supposed to be..
but we all got there eventually, which was excellent..
there was LOTS of food there, and lots of people..
met Ollie's wife Angel, and talked to a bunch of my friends..
Sean, Citrus, Danielle, Nathan, Brian, Amy, Alan, Tracy..
Helen, Andy, Jackie, Fidela, Vanessa, Connie, Irene, Tim..
but I had no idea what the fuck Lesley was doing there..
we had birthday cake for PG since it was his B-Day yesterday..
Daniel and Nathan did their Chinese "Happy Birthday" song..
also said my thanks to both Pastor Glen and Lillian..
definitely a bittersweet night, and emotional with it..
perhaps we'll see each other again sometime.. who knows?

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Friday, January 30, 2004

Maisie calling me, talking to Corey and Sleestak

the dinner wasn't too bad.. 10-course Chinese meal, man ;)
saw people I hadn't seen in quite some time..
discussed stuff with Jon about his Hotmail inbox..
he's going to Ireland for 1.5 weeks in a few months..
I think I'd better call in my ride favors then..
actually went home instead of hanging out with people..
suppose a quiet Friday night is good once in a while..

I was in the middle of convos with Corey and Sleestak..
one about computer motherboards and hard drives..
the other about religion / sex / beliefs..
Maisie decided to disconnect me off the Internet..
(that totally annoys me to no end.. Spoz and I agree!)
thought it was Anita, since I'd called her earlier..
now, THAT would have been a quick phone call and no mistake..
but nope.. it turned out to be someone else.. oh well..
we ended up talking for half an hour about stuff:
movies, updates, church issues, getting together..
Chinese New Year, Eric M., meanings of certain names..

I wished she'd get OFF the phone so I could resume talks..
by the time she finally did, the guys had both signed off..
certainly hope they didn't think I was abandoning them!
(especially not in Slee's case, given our topic..
and the fact that we simply don't talk that often)
might be easier explaining to Corey since we DO talk..
not that I wish she hadn't called at all, but man..
this just presents more problems to resolve.. *sigh*

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I'm way too easily amused...

Sam's cheerful thought for the day:
"just think.. in this small world of ours..
there's someone who's in love with you..
even if they don't realize it yet.."
thanks for the smile, luv.. you're golden..
although you do drive me crazy in a good way..
definitely not in THAT sense, of course.. sheesh.. :P
it's just your "away / idle" AIM habits when I want to talk!

I am either way too easily amused, or I don't know what..
someone and I have been exchanging comments a fair bit..
(could say who it is, but that would take away the mystery :P)
found out a few additional things about him..
was thoroughly amused by certain innocuous things he said..
maybe that's what I need to stand me in good stead?
we'll certainly be thinking of each other this weekend, for sure!
of course, he's definitely no replacement for Spoz :P
(or indeed any of the other hilarious real-life friends I have)
he just sent me an email, too.. must see what that's about..

checked Spoz's blog, and the only message for today?
"BIG DAY OUT.. wahooooooooooooooooooo...."
for some reason, that made me laugh like no tomorrow..
yup, I know he's a fanatic about the Big Day Out..
I still remember Sean's "nude karaoke" story of last year..
sounded like a good time there, all right.. dodgy, but cool ;)

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I loved Jesse and Kelvin in my own way!

Tuesday, May 24, 1994

Dear Leslie,

Hello! The Canucks won at 14 seconds into the second overtime tonight - and I even found out before you told me! :) Pretty good, huh? My dad sat in front of the television for the whole game, and grunted and groaned as if he was in labor - my mom and I always tease him about that. A few ago, when my dad was watching a hockey game, he made so many funny noises that my dog actually got scared and ran upstairs to hide in my room. He was shivering so badly that it took more than half an hour of me petting him for him to calm down.

I'm sitting here writing this note, and wearing the my old school tie that I'm going to bring tomorrow in case you need one. I'm surprised that I still remember how to tie it properly! It brings back a lot of memories to be wearing it.

I have an awful lot of homework on my mind right now. It seems like I'm being expected to prepare for summertime and next year when I can hardly keep up with today. I feel a little bit overwhelmed right now. It was really nice of you to give all those cards to people. It can make a person so happy just to get a little note or card like that.

Your sister seems to spend a lot of time around Krysta - are they best friends? They sure seem to play some rather silly kinds of jokes on you. I'm not surprised that you lose patience once in a while!

I really hope that the Band performance goes well tomorrow night. I hope that there is a fairly big audience, and that you guys have fun while you're playing too. I think that I better go to bed now!

See you soon,

Monday, May 30, 1994.

Dear Leslie,

Bonjour! I hope that your weekend has been a good one. I'm glad that the Band concert went well last week. I can hardly believe that our Grade 12 year is almost over. It seems so strange to think of myself as going to college or university. University used to sound so far off, and I always kind of thought that by the time I'd be going to it, I would be a really independent and responsible person - but I'm just a kid. :) There are so many things that I have to do in the next few weeks, and so many things that I have to plan for my summer and next year! Today, I feel a little bit overwhelmed.

I had a really good time at church this morning. My music pastor's brother is the music pastor of a church in Bellevue, WA - so today, they combined the two adult choirs and sang some really good music. They're having a big concert tonight, but I wasn't able to go since I have so much homework to do.

On Saturday morning, Lisa and I went to a workshop at the Steveston Community Centre about how to get a job. It wasn't really all that useful, but at least I'll have a better idea of how to go about finding a job this summer. Does your youth choir sing at church every Sunday morning? That was kind of funny what you were telling me about how almost no one in the front row sings.

I hope that your sister and her friend Krysta have been friendly to you recently. It must be kind of a nuisance to you when they try to play silly tricks on you a lot. I'll talk to you tomorrow!

See you soon,

Sunday, June 5, 1994.

Dear Leslie,

Hello! I hope that your weekend has been okay, and that everything at home is still back to normal. You're in my prayers.

Lisa called me today and told me a bit about the dinner and dance on Friday. It sounds like she had a lot of fun. Nevertheless, I don't feel bad about not going because she said that the food wasn't very good and that it was really noisy. I like quiet, fairly peaceful places.

I've basically spent all of my weekend doing homework - I can't say that THAT was a lot of fun either! :) I have a very big term paper that I have to write for history, and I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get it done at the same time as I try to learn so much else and do so many assignments. Needless to say, I am really looking forward to summer time.

Did you ever speak to Mr. Cartwright again about talking to a social worker? I guess that if things are going okay, that might not be totally necessary, but it still might be a good idea. Make sure that you let me know ho things are going.

Did Lisa ever tell you what happened to her grad dress? She went to pick it up just two days before grad, and a new employee had steamed it - the material was ruined, so Lisa had to go out and buy a new dress. Lisa was very annoyed.

I can hardly believe that it is already the month of June. Do you have plans for the summer? I have a couple of little plans, but generally, I've got so much to do right now that the thought of having to make plans is a little too much for me. As normal, I've run out of things to say, so...

See you soon!

Undated note from my sister's friend Leanne Genovy - between June 3-12, 1994.

Dear Leslie,

Hi there. How are you? Im fine. Steph told me to write this, so don't blame it on me. "Are you les?" asked Steph. Isn't that mean? I think so.

So what's new in your school? Everything here is fine. I don't like Fraser, just Iain and Jordan. Steph said you want to have sex with Jesse. Is that true? Tell me. I want to know.

I'm glad that you're one of my friends. Well, I have to go, so bye bye.

From Leanne

Sunday, June 12, 1994.

Dear Leslie,

Hello! I'm so glad that you were able to come to the Valedictory Ceremony with us! I hope that you enjoyed yourself and felt that you had enough time to socialize with people afterwards. I'm afraid that it was so hot and crowded in the lobby that I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.

I hope that your mom hasn't threatened you again this weekend, and that your dad wasn't upset about the social worker calling. I've been thinking about you lots, and keeping you in my prayers. I want to share with you the fact that Jesus Christ's love for you can be a comfort to you in the times of struggle, especially when your parents say and do things that hurt you. I know that you go to church and probably know more about the Bible than I do because you've been going for more years than I have. But nevertheless, I want you to know that "nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus." When you trust turn your life to Him and trust Him with your life, He loves you with His amazing gentle love and He can be your refuge and strength. I say this to you only because I have experienced God's love in my life: two years ago, I went through a time of real struggle, and it wasn't until I chose to trust God that I was able to find any real strength and comfort.

I'm happy tonight because I finally finished the rough draft of the term paper that I've been putting off doing for the last two months. My house is going to be even quieter than normal this weekend because my dad has gone on a fishing and business trip to Lund and Campbell River.

I can hardly believe that this is going to be our last full week of school! I hope that it's a good one for you, and that you get a chance to spend lots of time with the friends you've made this year.

See you soon,

* fake restraining order from Bill Baarschers on Tuesday, June 14, 1994 (I'm sure he wrote this for himself; I complained about it to Mr. Spearman - LAW 12 - and showed it to Leni, Lisa, Cheryl, Darren Baker, Brooks, Naomi, Trevor Lange, Dave Yao, Tara, Tanya, Reisa, Judy, Stewart, and others)

Friday, June 17, 1994.


I thought you might like this photo of Leni and yourself from Valedictory. It turned out nicely - one of the only ones that did so. L( I wish you the best of luck in the fulfillment of all your future expectations.

Your friend,
Trevor Cox

Sunday, June 19, 1994.

Dear Leslie,

Bonjour! I guess this is the last letter for the year. I hope that you had a good weekend. I was glad to hear that you're going to have an exchange student at your house this summer - your mom might be right about it being a good thing to meet a new friend. I hope that you won't have to give up your bedroom like you told me earlier that you might have to. It would make me a little more reluctant about having someone stay over at my house all summer too.

I am very sleepy right now. I spent all day fretting about final exams. Actually, that's not really true: I spent lots of time being happy, reading, walking the dog, and going to church too. Do you know for sure now that you're going to Kwantlen next year? I'm interested in what sort of thing you will choose to study. Right now, I think that I want to become an English teacher.

Does your family have plans for any special vacations? I think that I will probably spend some time in Osoyoos again this year because my grandmother (I think I told you about her before, quite a long time ago) has become very sick. I love her dearly, and I want to spend time with her.

Call me anytime during the summer if things aren't going well at home, or if you just feel like talking to a friend! I'd like to hear from you! :) I'm sleepy, so I think I will go to bed now!

Your friend,

Monday, June 20, 1994... card and note from Leanne

Dear Leslie,

Thanks for your card. I guess you really love Jesse. So, tell me... what does he look like? Could you write back? I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Maybe I can come over Thursday or Friday if you're not busy. Here's who I like: Iain, Jordan, and Fraser. Do you know them? Maybe Steph can tell you. Do you ever get the feeling that you just feel a little bit horny? Well, I do about them. You're the only person I can talk to about these things. You're a great friend.

From Leanne Genovy

P.S. Don't show this to anybody, not even your sister or family.

Dear Leslie,

Hi. How are you? I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't write in a long time. So I hear you're doing exams.... are they hard? They must be. What college are you going to? I might be going to UCLA or UBC or Stanford. What are the exams about? How long are they? How is Jesse? Steph said you might be going to Kwantlen College. What do you want to study at college?

I want to be a veterinarian. Do you want to marry Jesse? If you do, good luck in your exams and life. Like they say: "It doesn't matter what you study as long as you don't drop out!" Corny, isn't it?

Your friend Leanne.

I have a whole bunch from Elizabeth and James Magee, but I won't be sharing those. They cover a LOT of private stuff (and would be too much typing for me), and have a lot of subject matter! I also have an August 2000 pencil drawing of a flower from Julie M., and a June 16, 2001 (Saturday) drawing of sun and flowers from Louisa.

Sunday, January 30, 2000

Dear Leslie,

Leslie... I would like to tell you that you are a true friend. AHHH, spelling error back there, oh well. You just haven't taken my problems into your hands and given them a try, but you shared your understandings to me that I found related very closely. What you shared to me was what I find most important, and valuable thing in a friendship. But I tried applying excuses to my mom much before your insights. Every excuse I throw came bouncing back with a totally unreasonable comeback which doesn't apply to my emotions, but of how I was a quitter when I was a bit younger.

Well, in my mind, I mentally argue about this and think about a possible counter-judgment that she can quite verbally scream out. Here lies in my mind a chalkboard with pros and cons, but when I weigh it, the scale is ever so inaccurate, telling me lies that are part true and the truth that lies. My decisions altering every second here and there, blinding me to see what's best and feeling my way to my own destruction. "Whatever did happen to the Kelvin I once knew?" asks my mind that once strolled with him. The pain so tremendous, I don't feel it; the light so bright, that I cannot see; my world so big, yet I'm trapped in walls.

As you can see, I'm starting to turn morbid, a usual thing for me. So... all I wanted to tell you is that you're a saint. Gotta believe me on that one, Leslie... you are. Well, I guess I have to leave the rest of the page unused because it's now currently midnight. So... yeah, see you around!

Thanks for all,
Kelvin Chan

Ah, I love the way he expresses himself. We used to be fairly close, even though he was younger than I by eight years. (his sister Shirley and I were close, too) Now his parents don't go to our church anymore... I think of him often, and wonder how he's doing.

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Thursday, January 29, 2004

Cue the Barenaked Ladies! (aka the Friday Five)

Please tell me you get the reference in the subject... ;)

You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first?

My friend Yazmine.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?

A brand new computer system.. I'm getting tired of this old temperamental beast.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?

I'd buy Yazmine a new winter coat, since she needs one.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?

Yes, I'd tithe to my church. I'd probably give some away to my friends, depending on who really needed it.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how?

Since I don't know how to invest, I'd probably end up not.. unless my accountant friends could steer me to a reliable investor-type.

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Exercising my consumer whore tendencies / More Quizzes

went to the mall afterwards, today.. didn't need HER rides..
I don't care if it was raining heaps outside, either :P
exercised my consumer whore tendencies a little bit..
bought scissors, paper, a binder, and strawberry bubble tea..
Sam says I should go on a great hoodie hunt..
eh, I was so not in the mood for it today at all..
maybe some other time.. or get Steph to buy one ;)
yeah, I think that'll be the ticket for a Christmas present..
no MissionsFest tomorrow, but dinner with Auntie Lana..
Jon said that I'd do whatever he did, which is true enough..

but dude: at least ASK me about our shared plans!
this is certainly going to be a change from past years..
hopefully, we'll meet up with everyone afterwards..
everything remains to be seen with those events!

Note: LJ Barcodes.

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Igor Stravinsky.

Known as a true son of the new 20th Century, my music started out melodic and folky, but slowly got more dissonant and bizarre as I aged. I am a traveler and a neat freak, and very much hated those rotten eggs thrown at me after the premiere of The Rite of Spring.

Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

You are Tank-
You are Tank, from The Matrix. Loyal
till the end, you spare no expense in ensuring
the well-being of others.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
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You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing, or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have?
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You're Avante Garde Indie. You listen to abstract
music like free-jazz and Krautrock. You drink
too much coffee and you scare the fuck out of
the rest of us. We're afraid to call you
pretentious because we know that we all just
don't get it. There are few of you out there,
and most of you will probably die soon.

You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
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True Metalhead
You are a True Metalhead. You dig the
classic music and the classic lifestyle. As
metalheads go, you're pretty open-minded in
terms of music and lyrics; if it rocks, then
you'll listen to it. Concerts are the pinnacle
of the metal experience, though sometimes they
get a little too crazy. You generally respect
everybody else, but as far as you're concerned,
they all wish they were Priest or Maiden.

What Kind of Metalhead Are You?
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You Are

Fool In The Rain

You are a very bizarre person, to say the least. You don't think the way most other people do. And you probably don't really care.

You defy convention, and probably really like burritos. And you're very content with your life. You're a ray of sunshine. Piercing, bizarre end-of-the-world sunshine, but sunshine nonetheless. While most people are going to college to be lawyers or accountants or something, you'd be just as happy working at Tippy's Taco Stand in San Dimas, CA.

You probably have a really interesting car. You definitely do not drive a Honda Civic. There's a good chance that you smoke weed. There's a good chance you sell it.

Everybody worth anything likes you a lot.

Take the Which Led Zeppelin Song Are You? Quiz

I am Working Class Hero.

Which John Lennon Song Are You [with pictures]?
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The Division Bell
You have a hard time communicating with people, and
sometimes this takes a toll on your
relationships. Don't worry, all we have to do
is make sure we keep talking.

Which Pink Floyd album are you?
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I am off to be a consumer whore.. (bonus points if you get the reference)

well, it's not surprising that my bad mood's still resident..
although certain people are doing their best to chase it off..
I really appreciate having friends like that, and they know it..
Sam called me "luv" in a friendly way, and that is good..
Jim says he'd miss me if I were gone too long in hibernation..
that made me emotional; I feel the same way about him..
we definitely want to know each other better, for sure!
the prospect of being a consumer whore is keeping me sane..
yesterday, Alan Cross distracted me.. 100 greatest events!
let's just bring those on, and forget about poison!
(unless they involve the band Poison.. hehehehe :P)

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Wednesday, January 28, 2004

100 greatest moments in alt-rock history, part one (Alan Cross: Greatest New Rock Moments #100-91)

History is often shaped by big decisions, but it's also changed by little decisions and incidents. If Napoleon hadn't had piles / hemorrhoids the day of the Battle of Waterloo, Europe would probably have looked very different than it does now. To look into the history of a culture, one must also look into the music and how it changed. (stolen from the first part of the radio show)

This series is a 10-part series, and I'll try to remember to update it every Wednesday night for the next nine weeks. As per the Alan Cross Ongoing History of New Rock radio show:

100. Oct. 31, 1967: James Jewell Osterberg (aka Iggy Pop) decides to go totally nuts on stage because Ron Asheton had screwed up / ruined his guitar. (the band was the Stooges)

99. Aug. 12, 1994: the 25th anniversary of Woodstock at Saugerties, New York. (also the date that baseball had its first strike in 90 years) It was muddy because of all the rain that had been coming down. Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails decided to show his solidarity with the muddy / tired / dirty crowd by rolling around in the mud during the band's performance.

98. June 26, 1982: The Hacienda nightclub in Manchester was opened. (FAC-51) Designed as a place to celebrate Manchester's music; even though it was a money pit, it was a great place to hang out. New Order's label owned it.. and it was Ground Zero for the introduction of ecstasy to the British club scene. It was eventually sold off piece by piece in 1997, including the dance floor. (tile-by-tile)

97. The great home taping crisis of the early 1980's: Record sales being in freefall because of home taping. You shouldn't have taped copies of your cassettes for your friends or to use in the car.. instead, you should have gone out and bought another copy. Bow Wow Wow was for home taping, releasing a song called C-30, C-60, C-90, Go! encouraging it.

96. July 13, 1985: An event that almost destroyed U2. Live Aid at Wembley Stadium helped to raise a lot of money. They only had a few minutes to play Bad and The Unforgettable Fire. Their third song would have been Pride in the Name of Love, but Bono decided to be a grandstander and find a dance partner from the audience. (which took many minutes)

That ate up all their allotted time, and backstage, the band had a fight. The Edge, Larry Mullen, and Adam Clayton accused Bono of not being able to stick to the plan, and Bono quit on the spot. They all went back to Dublin separately, and Bono picked up a female hitchhiker who was totally enthusiastic about their Live Aid performance. After that, he contacted the rest of the band and apologized. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't picked her up...

95. April 19, 2002: the discovery of Layne Staley's long, slow death / suicide. As Alice in Chains became more successful, his addiction became more powerful. (especially after his long-time girlfriend's death from complications of drug use) He mixed smack, cocaine, and crack that was delivered to his condo by a network of dealers.

In April 2002, his accountants noticed there had been no withdrawals from his bank account for a couple of weeks. They notified Staley's mom and stepdad, and the Seattle police kicked in the door to find Layne Staley dead with a heroin cooker in his arm. The coroner's best guess was that he'd died on Apr. 5, the same date Kurt Cobain had died eight years before.

94. July 8, 1972: David Bowie's transformation as Ziggy Stardust. Theater, clothes, make-up, music.. very sexy / sexual. He made cross-dressing / men wearing makeup fashionable.. and his music was extremely popular. A village in Cypress and a hotel in Thailand both bear his name.. not bad for a fictional rock star alter-ego.

93. David Bowie in a blue dress on the cover of The Man Who Sold The World, 1971: The world wasn't ready for this marketing concept dreamed up by Bowie and his manager, Tony DeFries. Bowie had a gun pulled on him in Texas, and many stores refused to sell copies of the album unless the record company would supply them with alternate covers, with Bowie NOT wearing a man's dress. (only 1395 copies were sold in four months) The next Bowie character was Ziggy Stardust, as outlined above.

92. April 21, 2001: R.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck had a case of non-insane automynism. (spelling?) After consuming some Ambien, he chased it down with 15 glasses of red wine. Instead of falling asleep on the flight, he had an air-rage moment and went berserk in first class. The Heathrow police weren't pleased, and his first trial collapsed even with character witnesses like U2 and the rest of the band. His second trial went better, as the jury believed the doctor's diagnosis. The date of his acquittal was Apr. 5, 2002.

91. Aug. 18, 1992: Ska makes the earth literally move. The band Madness performed at a festival where they were the headliners, at their first public performance in eight years. People in the adjacent apartments swore they felt an earthquake in Central London, which was pretty unheard-of. Geologists investigated, and found that the many Madness fans dancing to the ska beat actually created earthquakes noticeable enough on the Richter scale.

That's it till next week! :)

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feeling like utter crap today.. yesterday will do that..
also missing certain people like crazy.. I wish they were here..
all I want to do is just go back to bed and not care..
wish I were dead to the world and everything else..
not really in the mood to chat, yet I'm in an RQ chat room..
go figure on that particular happening, eh?
might as well go mail Robert's birthday card now..
it'll get there late.. but at least the thought's there, aye?
guess I'll do a real update later on.. see you all later..

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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Venting / Corey and smoking / Quizzes

the only good things to happen to me today?
getting that copy of Human Monsters from the library..
eating another Boston Pizza Pasta Tuesday special..
and the massage therapy appointment, which was relaxing..
after that, it all went inexorably downhill from there :(

after the massage, my mom was SUPPOSED to pick me up..
that way, the family could go out for dinner.. (her idea)
I waited 20 minutes for her, and then decided to call her..
(when I really should have just gone home and avoided this)
she deliberately misunderstood me when I said "go home"..
and used her giving me a ride as an excuse.. I hate that..
so I'm still stuck here after doing crap I don't want to do..
if they make me sleep over, I'm going to kill them all..

seriously, I don't need more annoying crap.. y'know?
that kind of stuff really interferes with my sanity..
I just wish I didn't have to see them for a LONG time..
this is a vent, and isn't meant to sound ungrateful or anything..
although I wouldn't mind if I could just disappear completely ;)

Corey and I are talking about the times that we each stole stuff.. we're not going to do that again, obviously. But the topic was inspired by the last quiz below. He got the same result I did, and our conversation just veered to that conversational thread. :P

I also feel like I'm coughing my lungs out occasionally. No, I don't smoke (of course not!).. but I *have* been sick. Should have bought throat lozenges earlier today.. oh well. Next time I'm outside, perhaps. Besides, with what Corey and I were talking about just before we got on the topic of stealing... I wouldn't WANT to smoke if those were the consequences! ;)

(He brought up the idea of putting napalm on cigarettes so that when people tried to smoke, they'd burn off their lips and fingers in the attempt. *That* grew out of a discussion of those two girls who got suspended for doing their homework.. they kissed each other in the lunchroom just because the assignment was to do something socially unacceptable. Not that I would say anything if they truly did swing that way [they don't] because what you do is yer business... but it's still gross!)

Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it.
You are the Obsessive Compulsive disorder rock!

::Which rock personality disorder (from the Zoloft commercial) should you have? (Results contain pictures!)
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You are Luigi. It's not that you're jealous of
Mario, it's just that you've been by his side
since the beginning, and you deserve more
recognition. Hang in there... I always liked ya
better than Mario, myself! (plz rate)

What Nintendo Character are You? (pics)
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Very interesting....

YOU are the aggressiveness.
A dwarf. A goblin. A troll. No one said you had to
be smart to be aggressive. You work for the
evil and / or dangerous power holders. You do as
you're bid, no questions asked. A job is a job,
right? everyone's gotta make a living and you
play to your strengths. Literally.

what fairy tale role do you play? (this time with pictures)
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California is where you should live. Unless of
course you lied on the quiz, which would be
stupid. It's crowded as balls there, but the
weather is perfect, except for the occasional earthquake.

What State Is Perfect For You?
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To link it (the actual code):

You're in the Freak box.

What box do you get put in?
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You are \m/IRON MAIDEN\m/. You can't be labeled,
because you're unique. You're extremely
intelligent and talented, and you've influenced
many people. Rock on!

What Genre of Metal Are You?
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what flavor Pocky are you?

[c] sugardew

I am Pucca... I love love and often love so much that I chase it down to the point of being scary

what cute thingy are you? by eyeslikesugar

What You Will Get For Christmas
by Lois
What do you want?peace of mind
What you will getburned
Quiz created with MemeGen!

A little out of season, but whatever...

You are Fresh Mint.
You are caring and friendly. You have a nurturing
personality, and always help out a friend in
need. You are fairly outgoing, and always show
a friendly face. You truly care for other
people, and you show it. However, you may
neglect your own responsibilites or become overly
involved in your friends' personal affairs.
Most Compatible With: Orange

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
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Sounds fairly like me..

you're "bitch."

What swear word are you?
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You are: 100% Canadian!!

You. Are. Amazing. You are SOOO Canadian that you must wear red and white everyday, and kill random Americans when they are up here on tours. You memorize every episode of Talking to Americans, and your favourite snack is a Beaver Tail. Other Canadians bow in your presence. You are a god.

Take the
"How Canadian are YOU?" Quiz
by Daestwen

Yup, I knew it all along. :D

All bow down before my mighty Canadian-ness. :D

Your serial killer name would be Diablo! You would
be a mastermind in what you do. You would come
up with perfect plans on how to do your bad
stuff, and send out your minions to do it for
you. That would prevent you from getting
caught, because for one reason, they would not
rat you out. Your real name might not be known
and you would be greatly wanted, because as
long as you're out on the hidden streets, there
will still be danger! You're the big guy / girl!

What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As?
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When Doves Cry
When Doves Cry (by Prince)
How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father -- too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.

Which 80's Song Fits You?
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Create A My Little Pony Persona by hollyann
Your Name
Your First Pony NameSea
Your Second Pony NameStone
Your Pony SpeciesBeddy-Bye-Eyed Baby Pony
Your Body Colour Yellow
Your Hair Colour Rainbow (Winter Colours)
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

You're goin' down! FOR THIEVING!
Please rate if you liked!

If you're a goth, please visit
Gothic Teens of the World and join
up 'cause it rules!

What Would You Go to Jail For? (Many outcomes)
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what should your nickname be????????

Mr. Lollipop
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Methinks someone has food on the brain - the other answers I got were "corndog" and "chicken."

What Should Your Nickname Be?

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Sorta like Vivian, only not quite. ;)


teacher's pet


Fashion diva

animal lover



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What Should Your Designer Clothing Line Be Called?

Spice Chicks.
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What Should Your Middle Name Be (for girls)?

Alexandra - because you're beautiful and smart
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If it WAS Alexandra, all the geeks would be after me for my initials. (LAN) I don't THINK so!

Which celebrity are you?

YOU!!! Just kidding... you're not good enough to be a celebrity!
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Probably for the best, anyhow! :P


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how dumb are you

you're as dumb as a soda
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As if! I'm plenty smart, and at least I know the proper usage of "your" versus "you're." :P (being me, I had to correct it!)

You are Jordan...
I'd usually write a few sentences.. but sorry... Jordan, um.... congratulations you've scored as the weirdest one!
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You should hang out with: Punks, Goths, Hippies, and Emo Kids!
You are a type of rebel trying to hide the sensitive part of your soul. Such friends as punks, goth, hippies, and emo kids would understand how different you are, and you would be able to talk about the cruelty and injustice of this world. You'll find plenty of them in every school.
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How old will you be when you start wearing diapers again?

Soon, I hope. You soiled yourself 20 minutes ago.
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you are an emo!!!!!!!!
You hate any color besides black and gray, and you'd rather just be alone for the rest of your miserable life.
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Not really...

Kentucky is a country, isn't it?
Jefferson started it. Hippies passed it by. Not a part of the north or the south. You love beautiful horses and fast women. Have a shot of Bourbon and load your gun.
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You are Joe Cool
You know how to act and be treated without trying too hard. You are smooth, well-mannered, and popular with most. You are a joy to be around. You can be fun and silly without looking like a total idiot.
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You know the moves... you just can't do them, but you think you can. Good confidence, but you're gonna kill everyone at the dance with your helicopter... and not the good kind of "kill," either. I mean "murder"... so don't...
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Your wedding will be held?

At a church
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Damn straight!

You're going on a date with the Athletic guy
Just because your first date is with the Athletic guy, it doesn't mean that you will be with him forever. Just see how it goes! Who knows, you might fall in love!!!
Take this quiz at

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One Year

it's been one year since I got entangled in the web..
and all I have to say now is that I'm relieved I got out!
I know that brighter things are waiting for me down the road..
not nearly as despondent as I was a few months ago..
my true / newer friends have helped to heal me..
besides, I've moved away from certain haunts..
I'm over all that now, and look only to what is ahead..
that's a great feeling, to shake off all the hurt! ;)

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Monday, January 26, 2004

A few good things...

well, I've decided NOT to post yesterday's poem here..
certain people might just stumble across it.. not good..
a few good things have happened to me lately, though..
the hilarious lunch with my friends was great..
got $60 in "lucky money" from two people..
had a long conversation with Sam about various things..
(it was interesting and an opening-up, for sure..
should've given him a chance to say goodnight.. next time!)

Spoz called me a "forum monster" at the Subwoofer forums..
I guess that he's the Mary Shelley to my Frankenstein ;)
got an email from the library: I can pick up Human Monsters!
since I'm going out tomorrow anyways, I'll do it then..
also had support from my friends at my safe place..
now, if a certain someone would email me.. it'll be okay!

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Sunday, January 25, 2004

Today's happenings, so far..

heard from Jon that Eric H. became a Christian on Friday..
talked to Denise about Jim's reaction to my parcel..
she is SO amazed, and wonders how I do it..
remembering other people, and thinking of them well..
I think it's a gift that I have, and she agrees..
definitely have a giving spirit in my bones..
the people I love will know this very well for themselves! ;)

Dawn got invited to Gotham's tomorrow night, but I didn't..
I'll blame it on Jon, who thinks I don't have any money..
a bunch of us went for lunch at Pho after church..
Jon, Brian, Sean, Adela, Citrus, Danielle, Nathan, and me..
talked about Sean's stories.. ("did you LOSE it with her?")
his not being innocent, but really perverted instead..
Brian's ability to keep a straight face.. (desensitization)
onomatopoeia of the dentist office with drills and stuff..
Sean and Citrus supposedly being a gay couple..
Adela and Danielle's "jealousy issues" over that..
Davie Street, the Anglican church, taking out wisdom teeth..
Brian being born without any roots for said teeth..
definitely good times with friends, indeed..

we had another meeting, which actually let out at 4..
a certain person is so poisonous and angry herself..
at least allow for discussion, and not chalk it up to anger..
I can't write anymore about this, but have ideas..
maybe I'll have a poem here in a bit, who knows?
right now, it's over and out.. I'll be back for sure!

See what Care Bear you are.

See what Care Bear you are.

(I got a tie on that quiz)

and on a related note..

Nihilist Bear
Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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