"Off" emails / I'm not a corpse! *punch* / KFC Pecan Pie

"Your attendance encourages your group! Come for Jesus and his people. There is still time to join the David Fellowship common study of Nehemiah. Come, come, come." I don't know why I find these lines in the latest Fellowship email so "off," but I do. :P (the first sentence COULD be right, and I'm sure the third is too... but we shouldn't need to be told all those things! *sigh* )


Today's Punchy Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Hospital officials in Romania are investigating the case of a doctor who was punched by a "corpse" in the morgue. The doctor had to be treated for shock after being punched by teenager Bogdan Georgescu. The incident took place after the doctor thought he saw Georgescu move, and bent over to investigate. The youngster, 16, was taken to the morgue at Brasov County Hospital in Brasov after collapsing and showing no signs of life. He was declared dead on arrival, and his body was moved to the morgue. The teenager said: "I woke up and had no idea where I was. I looked to the left and to the right and saw dead women on either side of me, and then I saw this man coming towards me in a white coat. I just panicked. I thought he was going to kill me." The youngster, from Fagaras, is now being treated in the neurological ward to find out the cause of his collapse. He said: "The last thing I remember is drinking coffee with my brother, and then I woke up in the morgue." The doctor was allowed to take time off work after being treated for shock.

Culled from: iOl
Generously submitted by: Paradox

**********************************************************************

If I woke up in that situation, I'd be punching the guy too! But of course, that's because I watch too many movies like Hostel.

With the end of 2006, we also mark the end of the infamous despair@shocking.com e-mail address. It has been a heart-wrenching decision, but I have decided that I cannot justify the extra expense to retain the old email address, so from now on, please send your missives to despair@asylumeclectica.com. Now, let us all bow our heads while TAPS is played...

*******

Morbid Merchandise!

At the request of an Asylum Inmate, I have created my own version of the "Friends Help Friends Move / Real Friends Help Friends Move Bodies" t-shirt. It is available in a short or long-sleeved version from the Juror2.Net Ebay shop. Please take a look and let me know your thoughts. Suggestions for improvements or ideas for future merchandise are always welcome!

A Plethora Of Viscera!

*******

"My Brush With Morbidity" by Erro

"I work as an embalming apprentice in a very high volume funeral home, so I see things everyday that would probably qualify for tons of Brushes With Morbidity. Though they'd be more like Bludgeons With Morbidity, considering our caseload!

"I could talk about the 22-year old-girl who OD'd on heroin, and left a very pretty corpse. Or the equally young and pretty girl who fell and hit her head, and died from an allergic reaction to something the ER gave her to control brain swelling...

"Or last week, when I picked up a body at the morgue of a large hospital, I looked to my right while inside the cooler. There was a rack loaded with plastic bins. I noticed small white bags in the bins. Based on their labels, there were about 20 babies in that cooler. Knowing that and seeing it are two different things, though. Small white bags just don't have that much impact unless you see what's in them.

"Today (1/1/2006) kind of topped those. This afternoon, I picked up a two-year-old boy from the M.E.'s office. It was my first child case. His DC (death certificate) listed cause of death as 'blunt force trauma' and the 'Homicide' box was xx'ed out. Quarter-sized bruises covered his entire body, and it appeared that either his collarbone or neck had been fractured. He had an apple-sized fresh bruise on the right crux of his neck / shoulder area.

"It was hard to ignore the sight of the huge gaping Y-incision that dominated his entire torso. When you looked at his little face, you were distracted by the incision along the back and sides of his head where his calvarium was cut away in a wedge during the cranial autopsy. You could see inside his skull, past the freshly barbered hair, rudely sliced skin, inner muscle layer, and then his brain. Usually the brain is included in the chest contents bag, but I guess he was so small (about 20 lbs) that there wasn't room for extra.

"There was ink on his fingers and soles of his feet where he had his prints taken. There was blood clotted at the back of his head, where it leaked out of his barely attached calvarium and scalp flap. We will take care of this later, when we embalm him. He will be lovingly washed and cleaned up. We will also sew up all the incisions in his body and cover his bruises with makeup. By tomorrow, he will look peaceful, like he is only sleeping.

"I had wrapped the body bag in a sheet when I loaded him into a van. When I took him out of the van, I didn't get a cot for him. I carried him into the prep room in my arms. I laid him on a dressing table, and proceeded to check him into the system so we could take care of him.

"He was two years and one month old. He had a birthday last month. He had Christmas last week. And then on New Year's Eve, someone beat him to death. Happy New Year."

Very well-written, erro... packs a wallop!

*******

Morbid Link Du Jour!

Robert sends a very interesting link:

"Texas Execution Information Center is a very well-researched site that simply presents the facts of the cases -- and of the executions. The author remains studiously neutral on the subject, almost to a fault. I think you'll enjoy the site."


KFC Pecan Pie

4 Eggs, slightly beaten
1 cup dark corn syrup
pinch of salt
1/3 cup sugar
1 Tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar
4 Tablespoons melted butter
2 teaspoons vanilla
2/3 cup pecan halves
1 9-inch unbaked pie shell

Preheat oven to 325-350ºF. Mix together the first seven ingredients listed above. Stir in 2/3 cup pecan halves. Pour the mixture into an unbaked pie shell. Bake 35-40 minutes.