Rice milk, cosmetics bags, sadness with Grandma, ZOOLANDER

Showered and started some laundry before I even touched the computer this morning, otherwise I'd get sucked into it as per the usual. After everything was done, I decided to take all my remaining things over to the townhouse first before visiting Big G. Chilled there for a bit before deciding to finally leave. I found a bunch of Pasta-Roni, cooked chicken, Sidekicks, chips, bagels, bread, Hungry Man microwaveable meals, apple juice, coffee, rice milk, almond milk, bottled water, other things, and instructions on how to use the hot-water boiler... like I don't know how to use it?! Oh well!

Went to London Drugs in the heat and bought a new cosmetics bag to use as a wallet, some peanuts, and some Kleenex. The last two items were for Grandma, and I got to the care home by 5. At the Canada Line station on Marine Drive, I witnessed a girl swearing at transit security... and some professional guy tried bothering me while I was reading. I WASN'T HAVING THAT! Sat with Grandma while she ate, and tried making conversation; at one moment, I realized that no, she is NOT going to live forever. Katherine came by later, and we talked for a bit about church things and the Caring Committee arrangements; since she could stay with Grandma for a bit, I felt free to just leave for the townhouse.


Quizzes from Matt:

You Scored as FUCK YOU FUCK OFF FUCK YOU 63% You don't suck at all 31% You suck a lot 19%

What does this have to do with "How Stupid Are You?", man?

You Scored as Mugatu You are Maguta. You're an evil fashion designer who does not care about child labor. You were kicked out of a band, and make a necktie with a piano design. Mugatu 56% Derek Zoolander 44% Maury Ballstein 38% Hansel 31%

Tsui Woo CLOSING?! / $100, Israel, Rita, NEXUS and visa stuff

Steph and Lisa picked me up, and we were off to the townhouse while talking about money / gas prices / expenses / almost forgetting stuff because of the RUSH / alcohol-soaked gummy bears / Tumblr / odors. We had curry chicken, tender beef, oysters, crab, tomatoes, rice, Chinese soup, vegetables, and more while discussing Wayne Gretzky / the hockey playoffs / bubble gum Easter Eggs / doing dishes / flight timing / Uncle Keith on real estate / signing various cards / the May family dinner on Thursday the 10th (Stephen's birthday!) possibly impacted by Harmony's delivery / Grandma's "opinion" on the baby when asked if she's happy about it ("Your mom will be happy!") / the CBC feed freezing / news / chocolate and diets (South Beach) / Bryant and Shirley's wedding on June 30. Also discussed Las Vegas, Lisa's family (nephews), parental visa / NEXUS applications, Russia, respite, Paris, Egypt, Kleenex and being "sanitary," "hear ye!", Pat / Dropbox, baby Maddie, uploading videos of Chinese or Japanese metal ball exercises to Facebook, Mom's gay friends Tom and Tom (who of course live in San Francisco - she met them on a cruise), extensive travel, coffee, longan, pomelo (Chinese grapefruit), and Danielle moving.

Conversed about Michelle, Eunice and Eddie, my $100 payment being half the amount needed (Mom seems to understand about my money issues), Uncle Eric / Darren having to be a doctor / Derek in real estate, Tsui Woo CLOSING this Sunday (what the?! / Alan and Auntie Eva told Mom - of course they're going to go there on Saturday for old times' sake!), Rita / the thrift shop, baby things, national parks / the Grand Canyon, Grandma being quiet because Jon wasn't there, READER'S DIGEST, Chrystal, Cindy going to Israel with Becky / dogs / iPod stuff. Later, we looked at pictures of Edwin's new baby (Rebecca Grace Lee), and discussed Auntie Susan's criticism and Karen Grace moving to get away at the U of T / Jane / Harmony's appearance at the baby shower / the baby pool / drinking or sucking from a bottle. It's surprising that Auntie Susan would talk to DAD about Caesarean sections and childbirth! I talked to Grandma about her Chinese magazine, high heels, and more. Everyone got things to take home: peanuts, socks, leftovers, tomatoes, cucumbers, VCR to DVD technology, mixed seafood, muffins, tapes, maps and travel guides, juice, and more.


Grandma (92 years old, knowing little English) on the St. Louis-San Jose hockey game: "Oh, this looks hard. Can you do this? [upon seeing a scramble with plenty of traffic at the net] Aiya! Are they going to put it in?!" How cute!

Bad Baby Names, Part V: Big Chief Mucous Stink

Part V: Big Chief Mucous Stink


I'm seven months pregnent with quadruplets!!!! Nicole, Luke, Amanda, and Alex. These names sound refreshing with a hint of mystery.

Ooh, refreshing and zesty! Like bathing under a crisp clean waterfall with Irish Spring. Yet mysterious, like a smokey dame in a red dress. But under a waterfall.

---

My husband wants Elijah Haakon. I want Legend Haakon. What do you guys think?

I feel like haaking. You know a kid named Legend will be bland and unaccomplished, just like girls named Charity are selfish, Faiths are atheists, Chastitys are bimbos, and Hopes are suicidal. And if you're going to name a kid after a Tom Cruise movie THAT unapproachably bad, name 'em Cocktail.

---

Hey guys, I am Miranda. I have 4-month-old twin girls. Their names are Kiarne Rhukaya and Paris Jewel.

Miranda, sweetie, don't keep any weapons in the house. Twins can be all telekinetic and spooky, and those two are going to wreak some revenge on your ass.

---

I originally planned on naming my boy Dakota Lee, but my nephew had a baby boy two years ago and named him that. Now I can not find a boy's name. I like Dakota... but have thought about Dacoda since I want to use the shortened form Cody...

Well then, go ahead. There's nothing like going through life with everyone thinking your parents are totally illiterate yuppies who think owning Dances with Wolves on DVD makes them in touch with Native Americans, until one day your kid snaps and runs over your latte drinkin' , People magazine readin' ass with your own SUV. Or you could just name him "Cody" like you want to, and save yourself from having to explain to the school principal how Cody happened to obtain the .45 that was found in his backpack.

---

Then, the Indians attack the fort:

DAKOTA, LAKOTA, etc. I am an actual Indian, Oglala Lakota. I live in North Dakota. Stop with the so called "American Indian" names, will ya? Dakota does not mean "friend." That's just what white folks think.

I saw someone here post something to the effect of "My wife is one-eighth Sioux, so we named our son 'Lakota,' which means 'good earth' in American Indian. Spot all the errors in that sentence.

*If* someone is actually Siouan, they would identify themselves as Oglala, Hunkpapa, Sicangu, Nakota, Dakota, Lakota, etc., not "Sioux." If the name is a word from the Lakota language, it is not "American Indian." There is NO "American Indian" language.

How many of you would think 'Pahli,' 'Sicamna,' or 'Sica' were pretty and unusual "American Indian" names? Know what they mean? Mucous, Stink, and Ugly.

Do what you must, but leave the Dakota and Lakota Nations out of it, along with all other American Indian Nations. Find some other culture to co-opt.

---

My daughter has polosistic ovaries, and tried for eight years to have a baby. She had in-vitro done twice, and was artificially inseminated several times. Nothing worked after spending thousands of dollars. She stopped all the fertility treatments after eight years, and three months later, she was pregnant. Her grandfather's name was Jesse, and her husband's name is Jesse. Her dad's name is John, and her only brother's name is Derek. After this miracle happened, she wanted to name her son after the most important men in her life. So on June 25th, she turned 32, and June 26th she gave birth to a 9lb5oz "Jesse Jon-Derek [last name]".

Um... was there a reason for telling us this?

---

What are your opinions on the name "Flower"? Pretty, or just goofy?

Not bad if you're an animated Disney character. Otherwise, it's goofy. Wait... GoofyLynn!

---

I am having this baby boy on Aug 6. Dad and I love Alexander Scott, but our last name is Smith. Will the initals be a huge problem? We don't want him to be teased.

That's OK. Kids are pretty uncreative when it comes to teasing. They'll never eventually spot that one.

---

How about Lou? When I was in England, I heard that name, and it seemed to have a little tinkle to it. Randy is good too.

You weren't listening QUITE hard enough in England, were you?

---

what about Jackie-O for a girl or Sinead?

Tough call. It all hinges on what hairdo you were planning.

---

I like the name Jayden for a girl and Jaden for a boy. I'm also thinking of other bisexual names.

Try taking out a personal ad in the adult weekly.

---

I was thinking of the name Blaise, but I don't know if it should be the first or middle name.

I think it should be a felony.

---

I'm thinking of naming my son that is due here

(as opposed to somewhere else?)

in a couple of weeks Camden Trevor.

This lady goes to on say she lives in Indiana. I guess in Indiana, no one's clued them in on the whole "Everyone on the planet makes fun of New Jersey" thing. Or that there's a Camden, Indiana.

---

One of our "requirements" for a name is that the first and middle initials will sound nice together to make a nickname. I grew up as Brandy to some, and BJ to others .... quick and easy nickname that kids may not make as much fun of.

For 15 years, poor Brandy never understood why everyone snickered after calling her by her nickname. Or why all those football players asked her to prom. They were so rough in the back of the limo.

Guess they thought she was a different kind of girl.

---

When we named our three sons, we wanted something different. By accident, they all ended up being names of cities.

Denver Kade Lional

Karson Cole Lorne

Cody Walker Royal

Their third names all come from family: Dad, and Great-Grandpas.

I'm not seeing the city names. And I'm not seeing the accident. And I'm not seeing the need for those poncey second middle names. In fact, I'm not seeing at all. These names have made me go blind.

---

Excerpts from Alexa Rae's mom:

I was somewhat surprised not to see my daughter's name in any of the above entries. Her name is Alexa Rae... She does about 5 beauty pageants a year, and for those, she uses her first and middle name. That's what we would like for her to be known to the world as. Alexa Rae is almost 3 years old now, and I don't regret our decision one bit....

We're going to get another one.... My husband liked the name Shasta, but I can't imagine naming my child after a can of soda.

I wrote out a nice long diatribe about this one, but can distill it into a single thought: This woman is a slave master. A slave master who will soon "get" a child named "Mountain Dew" and display her in a decorative case.

---

Hunter Maverick Maarten. My little boy was named after his Daddy. My husband's middle name is Martin... we just chose to spell it differently. ... I wouldn't trade my kids for nothing. God Bless You!

All right - does it count as naming-someone-after-someone-else if the names aren't spelled the same? Not even vaguely the same? Answer: It does if you're an illiterate hillbilly! No, I wouldn't trade them for nothing. I'd trade them for a new muffler or some possum traps!

---

I need an artistic Latin name for my baby girl who will be born in March 2002.

Well I need a million dollars and a dream date with N'Sync, but you don't hear me complaining. Hmm... Latin name.... how 'bout Gaius Lacivious Maximus?

---

Not pregnant yet, but working on it!! Carlos Arturo to make Jr. Although I don't like Arturo(North American tongue can't prononuce)

Yeah, stupid Mexico, sitting there in North America not being able to pronounce Arturo.

---

I want to name my son Severin Anderson Bartlett. Are there too many syllables in this?

I think Severin is a great name for a surgeon.

---

I am 7 weeks pregnate, and my boyfriend and I are tying to figure out a middle name for our child, whatever it might be... we're not sure yet. If it's a girl, we want to name it Destiny, or if it's a boy, we want to name it Tristan. What is a good middle name for the two?

Thanks A lot.

Ah, it's always the crazy stupid ones who mess up and get pregnate. Can't wait to see them on Springer.

---

I named my daughters differently,

(as opposed to naming them the same? "... and these are my daughters, Brandy.")

...the younger one is Kryslyn (like Chrislynn)

Death to all vowels! The Ministry of Truth says vowels are plus undoublethink. Vowels are a Eurasian plot! Big Brother, leading us proles to victory!

---

My favorite names are:

Xev Chiana Louise

Nikita Gia Ravin

Gavin Charles Bailey

Tristan Michael Ares

I want kids to entire the world unique.

When they turn 18, they can always change it. I hate names like Collette. She would get picked on. Kids are not always PG!

Yeah, well I like names not stupid. Names actual exist. Pronoun, verb like too. Names suggest cruel, unusual. Fourth Amendment Constitution ban 'Nikita' for all but French assassins, bald Russian men. Friend, good! Fire, BAD!

(Helpful reader and SciFi channel viewer Joan adds that Xev is a character from Lexx: "She's a virgin love slave, in love with an animate dead assasin." and Chiana is from Farscape: an "escaped convict, genetically altered by her home planet's government to be a nymphomaniac" and spread an STD across the universe. What does this say about Mama's ambitions for wee baby Xev Chiana? Do we really want to know?)

---

We're thinking of naming our son after his father, whose name is Adjutor Joseph Audet III.

"Oh no," scream the citizens of Tokyo, "it's Adjutor! He has been freed from his radiation prison on Monster Island! Only Gamera can save us now!"

Seriously, though, Joseph Audet III was the most powerful adjutor of the Holy Roman Empire, uniting the warring families of the Venetian city-state against the forces of Count Francis dell' Avincci in 1531. See, bet you didn't know that.

Or that I just made that all up 'cause I'm too lazy to look up "adjutor."

---

May I suggest:

Calaya Tanith

Calaya Branwen

Calaya Delphine

Calaya Faerin

Calaya Gwendolen

Calaya Maeve

Calaya Magdalen

Calaya Mairead

Calaya Niamh

Calaya Nimue

Calaya Roisin (ro-SHEEN)

Calaya Siobhan (sha-VON)

Calaya Talwen

Fainne Maeve

Fainne Roisin

Fainne Tanith

No. No, you bloody well may not suggest them. Please leave us alone and resume reading The Annotated Legends of the Runes of the Mystical Arthurian Knighthood of the Sacred Circle of the Shield of the Spell-Casting Princess Faeries of the Grail of Blackwynne Castle. Book II.

---

Prayers. Before I found out I was going to have a boy, I only had girl's names chosen. If I do have a girl in the future, I am naming her Aria Ocean or Aria Leilani. I love original names! :-)

Behold, the latest fad in greeting people: stating a random noun. As in, "Fishsticks. My name's Aria Ocean, and I'm a New-Age CD compilation featuring 40 hits by your favorite artists. Like Enya..."

---

Since I know that my pregnancy, even though it was out of wedlock, has been blessed, I have decided to name my child with some kind of Biblical meaning behind it.

Glad to hear God personally came off the mountain to let you know you didn't do wrong in the face of 6,000 years of Judeo-Christian ethics, which I'm assuming you ascribe to, what with your belief in things being blessed and all. Better call the Pope. I hate to sound reactionary, I'm not rabidly for marriage or anything, but this lady's asking for it with her God-ventrilaquist act. Hell, at least the Virgin Mary was married to somebody, even if it wasn't the baby's father.

---

I really like Ireland as a middle name. It sounds sooo cute. I like McCarthy for a boy, too.

It's always a good idea to name a kid after a fascist drunk. How 'bout Franco or Mussolini? Ivan Terribyl?

You know, I'm really starting to think these folks think words are just a series of sounds bereft of meaning.

---

I was wondering which name you would pick out of these choices for girl
Names?????

Abbey Monet

Chloe Monet

Irelynd Monet

Dilyn Monet

And here it is again. There's nothing wrong with giving kids Irish names except they sound like fringe characters from Mists of Avalon. But it's another thing to name your kid Ireland. That's a political statement. (you don't see a lot of Arab kids named Israel, for example) But if there's one thing you don't want to do, it's piss off the Oirish by misspelling the name of their damn country. That'll get your ass handed to you faster than asking, "What's so wrong with Thatcher?"

And Dilyn... In the time it would take to come up with every way that could be mispronounced, I could find the end of Pi.

---

My husband and I really want to find a name for our child that is unique. We don't want 5 other children in class with our son / daughter with the same name. Likewise, we don't want to name our child something so strange that he gets teased, or people just think that it's too bazarre! Please help by giving us your honest opinions.

Boy - Maverick David [last name]
Girl - Savannah Grace [last name] (We live in Georgia.. is that too hookie?)

Yes. Too hookie. Make 'em a matched pair and name the girl "Iceman."

---

Here are some names I saw today

Kaytaquana

Alliwen

Camianne

Shaynelna

Karlakenya

Adanah

Leezi

Mays

Karjovon

Brandnel

Jaslera

Breedee

Tylee

Allikaylor

Tylera

Shairani

I'm guessing (hoping, praying) these are names you saw today while you were hitting random keys on the computer at Bellevue just before the Thorazine kicked in. Wait, let me try:

Huvven

Woakam

Euwher

Iluhad

Joofenkel (for boy or girl)

Jofwern

Mu'ulf

Opiuren

Puj

Yubjibi

Roowp

Qimwoup

Abcadeffgheejecklemenopqrestuvwexiz (the most incredible word I've ever seen!)

Fraps are not bratwurst, hahaha! / Simple Plan / Sports / Fishing Lies

\I was reading Derek's Starbucks-related statuses to Teunis, and he misheard "fraps" (frappuccinos) as "bratwurst." Well, if they ever sell THAT at Starbucks, I will let him know!

Which Simple Plan member will get along best with your family? by SimplePlanFan3691
name
age
# of siblings
mother's name
father's name
Which member will get along best with them?	Pat

How Good Are You At Sports? by flickmic
Name
Football	70%
Basketball	7%
Cross Country	48%
Hockey	45%
Soccer	25%
Skating	23%
Baseball	86%

Make your own fat fishing lie by jilmavi
Your name or username
What fish did you catch?	A tuna.
How big was it?	So big it didn't fit in the boat.
How did you catch it?	With a homemade fishing pole.
Where is it now?	I gave it to the World Food Program.

Editing FAIL! / I'm not staying away from BLACK!

I was trying to edit a whole bunch of birthday links at 2 AM. When 4:35 AM rolled around, I accidentally hit a key which caused me to go BACK in my browser, and LOSE the work when I was ALMOST DONE! WHAT THE HELL! Guess I have to do it again... maybe I'll work in Semagic this time. *rage*

On another note, I wished Derek L. a happy belated birthday, and he wished me one in turn. :D


Edit three hours later: Okay, I decided not to go through with the birthday links. It was a saving issue as well as one of the character limits. UGH, I HATE WASTING TIME!

You Should Stay Away From Black

You are a compassionate and caring person. You are big on forgiveness. You try not to get weighed down by the world's problems. You do your best to help, and that's all you can do. The color black sometimes represents oppression and even hatred. You don't want anything to do with that. There is also a cool meanness to black, and that goes against every fiber of your being.

What Color Should You Stay Away From?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

WTF. That's one of my favorite colors!

Birthday Wishes, 2010 Edition

MSN: Eric H., Corey T., Vanessa H. (3)

LJ: virtual gift of cookies and milk, LJ News, ONTD stuff, belated ONTD stuff (10)

The attached message reads: "I hear it's time to celebrate your big day with some double-stuffed Oreo cookies and milk. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and may all your wishes come true! Love always, Frank." That won't make me forget about the Facebook and Twitter privacy BS, but it is cute!




Facebook Wall Posts: Chantelle S., Steve L., Danielle L., Julie S., Candy B., Chrissy S., Alan P., Kevin G., Billie E., Veronica H., Phillip L., Quan H., Karen Lew, Lucas N., Vania S., Citrus W., Vicky S., Jess W., Sara H., Shelley R.-B., Jasmine C., Kathy T., Kaitlin O., Karla M., Alice P., Jennifer B., Janina P., Becky L., Mikaela P., Maxine F., Michelle W., Itamar R., Flora G., Diane S., Dilys C., Myles H., Charlotte G.-C., Denise M., Steph N., Rosenda M., Leslie K., Sabrina C., Mary C., Adam L., Ryan M., Nina M., Candace B., Michael M., Natalie H., David Ho, Dawn W., Sabrina L., Darren L., George M., Noel E., Sean O., Sonya Y., David W., Andrew L., Hilary F., Ellen C., Alicia S., Julie M., Karen Chan, Dianne F., Jessica G., Andrea T., Vivian S., Harmony H., Mandy W., Derek L. (70)

Facebook Messages: Vanessa C. (1)

Facebook Status Comments: Marie S., Mike B., Teunis P., Chris W. (4)

Our Place: Carol B., Debbie, Subena, Julie H., Candy B., Steve B., Kelly L., Elissa G., Carol J., Marie S., DeanCasLover, AnjyB (12)

Other Message Boards and Such: Ubuntu Forums, Baby's Named A Bad Bad Thing, Crime Library, Quizopolis, Rock 101, OK Cupid (6)

In Person: Grace Y., Ron M., Veronica M., Pastor Fulton C., Nathan T., Auntie Tracy S., Jen C., Christon S., Eric M., Jeremy J., Steph N., Teunis P., Jessica Leung, Ray's friend Josh, Karen Choo, Auntie Catherine I. (16)

Cards / Presents: Uncle John's Gigantic Bathroom Reader (Bathroom Readers' Institute) [from Deb and Dylan L.], lunch at the Spicy Court Restaurant from Auntie Ying and her mom, Sunday brunch from Eric's family at De Dutch Pannekoek House, Eric M., Jeremy J., Teunis P., Nathan T., Steph N., $25 Chapters gift card from Eric M., This Book Warps Space and Time: Selections from The Journal of Irreproducible Results (Norman Sperling) / The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment (A.J. Jacobs) from Nathan T., the news of HOMECOMING from Eric H., Cindy F. / Dianne F., Danielle L., card and "regift" fountain pen from Uncle Y.C. / Auntie Catherine I. (15)

* Mom and Dad's presents: Cherry Berry Splash Icebreaker Sours, cheese twists, cheese chips, Cheese Nips, Frosted Cherry Toast 'Em Popups, whole smoked oysters in teriyaki sauce, pink salmon, light tuna, browned beans in tomato sauce, fruit cocktail, two packages of miso (given to Teunis P. when he left my place), jalapeno cheese slices (shared with Teunis P.), a journal (to the kids!), coffee mug, pink pants, a leaf candle (promptly given indirectly to Kaili B.), Honey Nut Scooters (cereal), seaweed, fruit-flavored Mike & Ikes, four packages of Doublemint gum (to the kids!), Pho dinner, dessert with blueberry Splenda cheesecake / dragonfruit / biscotti / watermelon / coffee (30)

Phone Calls: Steph N. (1)

24.9% of my Facebook friends ... 90 of 361!


GRAND TOTAL: 171

Another round of Erin's embarrassing stories! / Casey Jones

This thing just restarted, but I'm not surprised! Good thing that I wasn't really writing anything - just doing some bookmarks upkeep, and I'd already pasted links and SAVED the entry! Learning new habits, indeed!

The bus trip out to Erin's was uneventful, save for wondering whether I was going the right way down Brakenridge to McMullen. (which somehow was "McCallum" in my mind) Luckily, I was - I got there shortly after 6 (Steph let me in), to find Erin / Jessica Lam (whom I haven't seen in AGES) / Tracy in the kitchen. Daniel, Winnie, Denise, Brian, Chung and baby Mattias, Eunice, and Vanessa got there later - Jon and Harmony were late, along with Jessica's boyfriend (How?) and Alan. Phil and Grace had been there earlier before the guys' soccer game, and Erin's younger brother Derek was apparently napping. Her husband Ben and youngest brother Darren came downstairs later, so that was the full complement. Since Erin was around for once, we definitely had to get into her embarrassing stories: Vomiting all over a pharmacy customer? Walking into a soccer post in Gr. 8, having a temporary bridge done YEARS later, and then having said bridge fall out of her mouth in front of a customer? (she had to excuse herself and pick it up off the floor!) Maxipad stories?

Having a UTI on her Hawaiian / twisty road to Hana honeymoon? (Denise said it wasn't really related to the "whatever" - sex - and she should know, since she's a doctor) Having a black bra fall out of her shirt during woodworking class, and the teacher draw the attention of THE ENTIRE CLASS to it?! ("Erin, I think you dropped something..." She thinks it's because the bra was inside her shirt already when she grabbed it from a pile of clothes in the morning to wear to school.) Everyone was laughing hysterically - although we had to send Darren out of the room for the honeymoon one since we figured he didn't need to know THAT about his sister! - and we wondered HOW ON EARTH Derek could be sleeping through that noise!

There was SO MUCH FOOD that I eventually took my cheese bread and some cookies home - veggies, a Corningware FULL of cookies, at least two pizzas, Michelle's AMAZING broccoli salad from the home garden (it was the BACON!), hummus, meaty chicken wings, Steph's pasta with cream of mushroom soup / salmon / a pound of cheese, fried rice, BBQ pork, juice, punch, cream puffs, and lots more! We talked about how Michelle hurt her back doing some vacuuming, ICQ (hearing the "uh-oh!" sound from above) / backspacing, Auntie Ying / Uncle Daniel impersonations, how much Alan and others DRANK at Andrea's wedding, Julie, Daniel and Michelle's anniversary trip to Portland on July 1, getting Auntie Anita to dance, nuggets, Eunice's hairdressing / paralegal work, her niece and nephew (Avery and Wesley), and her boyfriend Eddie.

Also talked about old notes in church bulletins, code names for people (Irene was CATWOMAN), Nathan being back soon (my mom wants to have a dinner with him!), Karen I. being pregnant again, Daniel and Nathan's dad selling the house, how Erin should just move everyone over to Ottawa, alternating Christmases, downtime, moving, Daniel's joking contention about baby Cameron being a robot, his brother Connor answering the door naked once, their sister Megan T. being cute, Vanessa bumping into Michael / Amanda / their kids Ethan, Seren, and Megan H. once (the kids are so cute and SO BIG!), Andy and Megan C. not being able to make it (Megan's SO HUGE - she's not due till the end of July!), Sam and Connie's kid Jaden (he must be in Gr. 12 by now - we probably wouldn't recognize him!), where to watch tomorrow's soccer game, and more. Ben just sat there, haha - he probably had fun, though!

We figured that couples should get at least one big trip out of the way before trying for a kid... Dylan and Deb are going to the Philippines. Helen, Joe, Billy, Stella, Kenny, and Winnie all went on a cruise once where someone asked whether they were old enough to go into a certain area of the ship. Billy didn't like that, and tried to impress on the guy that they were all working professionals - "she's a doctor, he's a psychiatrist, I'm a pharmacist, etc." Finally, they had to show their ID anyway! This reminded Daniel of when he and Michelle had been in the UK to see Nathan - they'd been at a bar, and one of the employees had asked him whether Nathan and Michelle were old enough to drink! When Daniel said that they were both 30, the employee said "Even the girl?!" His response: "I'm MARRIED to her!"

Steph said that a certain local news personality probably shouldn't have online videos of her working out ON A BLOG, because she's getting stalked! This creep sent this person a bunch of letters SOAKED IN URINE! That's all she would say, since she probably shouldn't even say that much - and yes, this is Burnaby! Speaking of creepy people, she has this "friend" named Peevers who sends her innocent-sounding text messages with BAD GRAMMAR which is definitely a turn-off! ("your awesum and an unbelievable woman! :)" - our reaction was "PUKE!!!!") She's "using" him for laptop shopping help and such, but we spent some time laughing over his BAD text messages! They'd met in Regina, and she had spent a weekend hanging out with him because she thought they were just friends. Of course, he couldn't be on base with her, and she didn't want to stay in his hotel room! Then there was the groomsman from Melia and Angus' wedding who was taken with her... ew! (We discussed how to be a Wedding MC - Steph seems popular, even if she was pressed into service a week before Jon and Harmony's wedding because their original pick for the job couldn't make it! INCEST JOKES!)

When I stepped away from the table to admire baby Mattias in his cool sweater ("Why are all these people watching me eat? Where am I? I'm going to CRY!"), Steph told everyone else there that Jonathan Gillis had actually LIKED her! (I thought that might have been the case) On a suggestion from the guys, he had got her a Valentine's Day gift of a little bear (with a heart reading "BE MINE") / flowers / chocolates. She'd been trying to dodge him on her way out of work after her night shift because he wanted her to see him later, but he caught up with her to give her this present. She felt bad because she knew that there were lots of girls who would REALLY WANT something such as this, but she had to say something like "I didn't know you gave your FRIENDS such extravagant Valentine's gifts, Gillis..." ICE COLD, baby! When the guys (including a corporal) texted her later, she was like "F*** YOU!" How dare they have a laugh at her expense!

Jon said that he, Randal, and Jeremy all had diarrhea after going to some Kingsway / Clark Pho place for lunch on Sunday. Harmony didn't go because she had a wedding shower to attend; Wesley and Jen didn't seem affected at all, and it was lucky that Eric and I didn't go then! (Eunice asked whether Eric still lived in Richmond, and Erin wondered whether he drove me to church - after that ABUSE from my mother, you bet he does!) No wonder Jon had sounded sleepy and bleh when I called him earlier in the week! Briefly said hi to Derek, who's going to the Philippines soon... I loved the rosemary mint soap in the downstairs bathroom, too! Discussed SERVANTS, rats, wedding keepsakes / thank-you cards, my mom suggesting all these times to meet Erin and Ben for bubble tea tomorrow (maybe after Jon's concert), and more. Jon and Harmony drove me to the Canada Line station; they're moving next month, going to Toronto for Dave's wedding in August, and going to Italy from about Sept. 3-17. I experienced bus efficiency as the 407 was RIGHT THERE after I got out of the Brighouse Canada Line station!


Trivia fact for Friday, June 18: What was the name of the train that ill-fated railroad engineer Casey Jones was operating when it crashed? The Cannonball Express.


Edit: And it restarted again at 1:36! I'm rather tired anyway, so I shall be going to bed!

Brazil, North Korea, and French

Restart, again. Am watching Brazil and North Korea in French, because the picture is better than Channel 3. (WORLD CUP!)

Note: LJ Valentine's Day Memegen, by Xanfalklene.

What Grey's Anatomy Character Are You? by greysfan
First
Last Name
Age
Color	BlueRedGreenPurpleRainbowYellowWhiteBlackLight BlueBeigeFuschiaGray
Fave Character	Meredith GreyDerek ShepherdRichard WebberGeorge O'MalleyCristina YangIsobel "Izzie" StevensMiranda BaileyPreston BurkeDr. Alex Karev
Sex	MaleFemale
You Are

Stupid interruptions, deadlines, Sunday Dinner, Canucks opener, the wrong people

THIS THING RESTARTED AGAIN! Man, I *hate* interruptions when I am trying to read! Good thing the phone's off by default, so I didn't actually hear Candy and assorted scammers trying to call me, but STILL! Good thing I at least can answer emails from Eric and others at my leisure! There's a good reason why I jokingly say I hate people who call me, haha. I had better be EXPECTING people to call, or I don't turn the phone on. (holdover from days past) If I'm not finished this book by tomorrow, I'm not going out - that's just a deadline I've set myself. Time to think and absorb this stuff is a good thing, but I don't want to be thinking about it for a few hours while I CAN'T PICK UP THE BOOK! ARGH! (and yes, it IS that good!)

Jon sent us an email about Sunday Dinner being at Jeremy's, and another one about watching the Canucks' opener against the Flames (on a Thursday) at Nathan's. I hope I can organize the Kelsey's wing night... that way, the wrong people won't get invited! Apparently, we get to make fun of Richie since he's from Calgary, like we did with Derek a few years back - that's probably going to be good. :D

You Are Peaceful and Passive

You are an accommodating, diplomatic person. You know there is good and evil in everyone. You try to live with things as they are. You know there's a lot in this world that you can't change, and you're fine with that. You are a supportive and honest person. You expect people to accept you just as you accept them. You are willing to take time and let things unfold. You are never in a rush.

The Autumn Leaf Test

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

Awana Orientation 2009, with songbooks! / Jane Austen

Ada picked me up on time for the Awana Orientation, and we discussed Facebook / Friday Fellowship / privacy (inbox vs. wall) / (Spiderman) umbrellas for her sons / school / getting up early. I smelled her coffee, which made me want some, haha. No, of course I didn't ask her for it! Got to church, and I saw Phoebe helping Eric T. with duotangs and hole punching. I didn't know she and Zoe (as almost newly-minted Gr. 7's) were leaders in training, but I guess that works! Talked to Mike, Julie, David, Margaret, Golden, William, Mary, Elaine, Emily (Sam was in Manitoba already at 11?!), and more people. Mike was being jokingly "racist" by making as if he were a terrorist, since he had a handkerchief RIGHT under his chin and covering his face! Then he tried Elaine's jacket on, which was too small for him - of course his sister took a picture!

Had the usual bunch of information (plus new songbooks!), but it was good to have a refresher. Eric did a hilarious imitation of Jordan, haha! Ended up eating lunch at my own table because Chrystal had prior plans with someone, and we ran late... and we had no idea where Auntie Vivian was! Sweet and sour pork, shrimp crackers, very oily seaweed (Danny tried to un-grease it with a napkin!), peanuts, beef and broccoli, rice, BBQ pork, noodles, apple juice, iced tea, pop, and other things were certainly pretty good. We ended up running over an hour late, and I declined to take any leftovers home since I still have four burgers from yesterday in my fridge! Saw Derek, and a preview of his sister Erin's slideshow for Monday's reception.

Ada and I talked about the Awana Choir, Henry, the Canada Line / Skytrain to church, people going around with suitcases, and more on the way home. For some reason, my leg started to hurt, but it was okay - and went away as soon as I got home. Chinese Eric said hi, and I bugged Corey about leaving immense spaces in my messages. Discussed The Stupid Idiot thinking he can use Corey to get to me (we both don't think he'll pay me back), white Eric's birthday, just waking up at 7:30 AM Hong Kong time, Nathan and the UK, the rainy weather here compared to hot / cloudy in Hong Kong, computers, passport expiry issues, and more.


Facebook quizzes taken from Kitty:

Leslie took the What 1970 Hit Song Are You? quiz and the result is Let It Be by the Beatles. When you experience trouble or hard times, you realize that life goes on, and you just have to let it be. You are optimistic, and have hope that the future will be better.

Leslie completed the quiz "Who do you end up with in a Jane Austen Book?" with the result Mr. George Knightley. Your guy is Mr. George Knightley, from Jane Austen's Emma... which makes you Emma. He is a close friend of yours, and your only real critic, though he cares deeply for you, which is why you are never truly offended by his comments. Since you two were friends for a long time, you may not have noticed that you loved him until he became unavailable, but he has nearly always loved you as more than a friend or sister. Since you're so prone to scheming and meddling, or at the very least living life only for fun, he keeps you in line as best he can. He's just what you need. He is your more sensible half, but he loves you enough to humor you and go along with your plans, until you are doing someone more harm than good. Honest, gracious, charitable, and straight-forward, he's an all-around good guy.

Birthday card post: the yearly edition!

These are the birthday cards I want to buy for my friends. I must include at least 3 stickers in the card, and two little ones on opposite left-right corners of the envelope! (and get my sibs to sign, too... unless they don't know the people, haha)

January (5)

* 7: Vania So
* 11: Denise Man
* 11: Sabrina Chow
* 13: Rich Ng
* 21: Billy Lee

February (7)

* 5: Dylan Lum
* 10: Benjamin Lee (2006)
* 10: Sheena Soon
* 16: Lesley Chung
* 16: Steph Ng
* 22: Ivan Choo
* 26: Quan Ho

March (8)

* 1: Martin Jang
* 11: Maxine Fok
* 16: Julie Man
* 19: Corey Tapparo (mail)
* 21: Sophia Lam
* 23: Johnny Au
* 28: Harmony Ho
* 31: Hannah Luong (2006)

April (12)

* 2: Phil Yung
* 5: Helen Chen
* 7: Daniel To
* 7: Lily Luong
* 8: Clement Chiang
* 11: Dave He (mail, or c/o parents)
* 15: Chrystal Choi
* 17: Calla Suen
* 20: Michelle To
* 22: Karen Lew
* 26: Chuck Wen
* 29: Andrea Tang

May (7)

* 2: Jen Chan
* 3: Brian Man
* 4: Joey Lam
* 5: Danielle Law
* 18: Sam Yung
* 19: Angus Kinkade
* 21: Lee Luong

June (4)

* 2: Alan Quan
* 12: Sherman Tang
* 24: Eric Tsang
* 29: Dallas Wu

July (8)

* 2: Dianne Fang
* 4: Ian Lam
* 15: Nathan To
* 16: Cordia Wong
* 23: Connie Su
* 23: Jenny Su
* 31: Erin Chew
* 31: Frances Madrazo

August (11)

* 1: Justin Chiang
* 4: Sean Lam
* 6: Rosenda Marr
* 12: Joshua Fok (2005)
* 14: Michael Kwan
* 15: Eric Ho
* 18: Cindy Fang
* 18: Darren Chew
* 25: Kevin Li
* 18: Fidela Chiang
* 31: Stella Lee

September (7)

* 5: Eric Morrill
* 15: David Ho
* 16: Karen Choo
* 24: Citrus Wong
* 26: Mike Tse
* 27: Anita Wong
* 29: Anita Tung

October (8)

* 1: Ian Marr (2005)
* 1: Jeremy Janzen
* 2: Christon Siu
* 6: Dawn Wong
* 11: Chalaine Soon
* 11: Grace Yung
* 23: Jeff Wong
* 30: Vivian Lew

November (14)

* 6: Margaret Lee
* 8: Vanessa Chiu
* 9: David Marr
* 12: Emily Lam
* 12: Tim Fok
* 12: Vivian Salomon
* 13: Helen Kwan
* 13: John Lam
* 14: Melia Yung
* 14: Winnie Tsoi
* 16: Nicholas Kwan (2005)
* 24: Joanna Kwan
* 25: Jon Ng
* 29: Emily Choi

December (4)

* 13: Keenan Fok (2006)
* 25: Chung Yan Ip
* 25: Joe Tham
* 30: Hien Ho

TOTAL: 89

WANG DERM, showing informercials during lunch, and moving to avoid sun

I was annoyed by my dad's pre-set alarm at 7:25 AM, so I turned it off. After I got up a few hours later, Grandma started complaining of back pain. Mom did warn me and Steph that this might happen since Big G likes seeing the doctor for some reason. I determined that Mom's Internet Explorer was being annoying because the browser window disappeared after barely a second. Decided to go out with Grandma and Steph anyway because I wanted to be a good granddaughter. Grandma was so impatient to get going that we arrived at Auntie Ruby's office in plenty of time for the appointment, never mind that she thought it would take half an hour to drive there! (it didn't, trust me!)

After she saw the doctor (and Auntie Stella affirmed me and Steph in being good granddaughters), we were off to do something about Grandma's bloodwork. While we were at the labs, my sister saw a planter with a hilarious sign taped to it: "DO NOT THROW GARBAGE HERE!" She had to take a picture of it, of course. Later, we were off to lunch. Grandma thought that we wanted to go to Neptune (again?!), but we never said anything about it - she should know by now that we don't care where we go to eat! Since we thought that she wanted to go there, we humored her... let's try keeping her happy instead of cranky!

Spotted a Chinese store called FOOT SPOT on the way there: Chinese people are very strange, which was just confirmed even more by what the restaurant chose to show on their TV. Endless infomercials for a hair-removal product (while you're trying to eat), anyone?! As we were eating our duck, fish balls, noodles, gai lan, and beef brisket, they decided to show something normal. It looked like a talk show, and then switched to some show which was purportedly set inside a hotel, but it looked more like a hospital to me, what with people in white uniforms going into a room where some old guy was lying on a bed!

Talked about Erin, Chris, Darren, Derek, Alan / Polly / Tsui Woo, Andrea / Chuck, Mom getting tipsy at Megan's wedding and asking Daniel whether he was expecting, emergency bridesmaid duty at Angela's wedding, and worship practice tonight for Erin's wedding. Also discussed Ultimate, Grandma switching seats in the car to avoid the sun (it's not a tanning bed!), Melissa being like me in that she hates Netspeak, White Spot spelling "occasion" wrong on an advertisement, and other things. Then we went to buy stuff at City Fresh Market - Steph and I got a laugh out of the "advertising of specials" outside the market, which advertised WANG DERM! (and had to take a picture of that, as well) We bought $16 worth of chicken to keep Grandma appeased, as well as Pocky and other things. Grandma somehow got the idea that we like ground beef, so she had to buy it - aiya!

Then we went to fill Grandma's prescription at Safeway. Steph found a deal on sports drinks, while Grandma thought we wanted her to buy us some chips or body wash. Nope, since we just ate lunch and were just browsing! Bought salad and other things, as well. At home, Steph ended the Internet Explorer process in the Task Manager, which stopped the browser problem. She found several funny pictures while I read the news. Tried to Google "wang derm" for Chantal (on the phone), but couldn't find anything. Probably a good thing, since Steph wasn't sure if she wanted to Google it in the first place!

Poo nugget for Wednesday, August 12: Diarrhea Song - Dating back to the 1960s, this childhood folk song was popularized in the 1989 movie Parenthood. While the lyrics can vary, it usually goes a little something like this: "When you're sliding into first / And your pants begin to burst / That's diarrhea, diarrhea."

Dagger, Dent, Digger, and Duke

Computer restarted overnight... ugh! Called Henry about half an hour ago, who said he'd wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to be there last week. The time for that would have been anytime before Thursday evening, dude! Of course I'll be at Awana in a couple of hours, so he better pick me up this week! Crazy person. :P (I hear he's also getting his sister Teresa addicted to JACK BAUER, hahaha!)

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.

D

Daaron: To encourage one to do something really, really stupid... like jumping off the roof to see if one can fly.

Dagger: A long, sharp knife most often used to stab people after they trustingly turn their backs to you.

Dajuan: Spanish pronunciation of "the one," as in "Yes, Officer... that's Dajuan who stole my purse."

Dakota: Twin states separated by an imaginary line. Also, daytime television star who, after unknowingly marrying his sister, drove off a cliff (tried to get a job in feature films), and then returned after plastic surgery to exact revenge on his stepfather.

Dalton: Pseudoclassy. Dalton's brothers and sisters will be Bentley, Tremayne, and Ashlee.

Darmarcius: Located west of the fens and south of the mountains, this area is swampy and host to malarial mosquitos.

Damien: A head-spinning child of the devil. Also, a priest who administered to lepers. Exceptions to the rule: if your last name is Thorn, Omentwo, or Finalconflict.

Dandrey: A flaky scalp condition often treated with medicated shampoo.

Daniel / Dan: Just call him the ad-lib boy. "Dan, Dan the (fill in the blank) man..."

D'ante: Creator of fiery infernos.

Darth: Treacherous father. Child's heavy breathing will make him an outcast and a perfect recruit for cults or other, lesser-known evil empires.

David: A stoic boy with an unusually large hand who enjoys just standing around without any clothes on. The little guy who is always ready to take on the big guys.

Dax: A strong industrial cleanser able to get out the toughest biohazard stains.

DeAaron: What one must do when the temperature inside reaches ungodly heights: put DeAaron. Also, what one must be sure to do before descending under the watery depths in a submarine.

De-Arse: British. One's rear end.

DeeWayne: The love child of the toughest cowboy who ever lived and the prissy girl from Grease.

Del Roy: Likely to pick up a strange-looking hitchhiker in the Nevada desert, who turns out to be either a reclusive billionaire or a space alien.

DeLawrence: It's de-lightful, it's de-lovely, it's DeLawrence!

De-Lewis: What the Multiple Dystrophy Society will do when they choose a new Labor Day telethon host.

DellBert: Unlike his brother, who found success in technology, DellBert continued his career in animal husbandry on the family farm.

De-Mario: To remove that very special essence of lasagna from a person, car, or house.

Demarkus: To delineate by a boundary. Also, to swear under one's breath, preferably at a teacher or family member.

DeMichael: Why is Michael such a dumbass? Why?

De-Morris: A person strongly opposed to finicky house pets.

Denim Levi: A textile magnate unable to wear comfortable blue garments.

Dent: A folded or flattened surface. This child's oddly-misshapen cranium will be the hit of the junior high school yearbook signing party.

De-Ole: Similar to "ye olde." Often used by grandpas talking about a movie from the past. "I'll show him De-Ole one-two punch."

DeRail: An interrupter. His citizenship marks will never be better than Unsatisfactory.

Derek: Machine consisting of cables and pulleys, used for moving heavy objects.

Derringer: A small, underpowered gun used by cheats and cowards.

Desert: A place where nothing can live but cactuses, bugs, and snakes. Name will often be misspelled and mistaken for its sweeter, postdinner cousin.

Dewight: A happy name adopted when a child can't say his L's.

Dewrangee: To make crazy, insane, or just plain nuts.

Dex: An accessible know-it-all in the West.

Dicy: Unstable and tentative. Also, associated with fuzzy mirror ornaments. May speak in nursery rhymes.

Diego: A fabulous zoo in Southern California. Exception to the rule: if your last name is Riverta, and you want people to wonder if your son is heir to a famous painter.

Digger: Nickname of Jock Ewing's business rival (and Miss Ellie's former love) on the '70s series Dallas. A great name for a dog, cemetery manager, or miner.

Dillinger: Midwestern criminal who was best known to the American public through his pictures on post office Wanted posters. Not a great name for a family in the banking industry.

Dionysus: The Greek god of wine, fertility, and drama. To protect him from the wrath of Zeus' wife, Dionysus was raised as a girly god by his caretakers.

Dirk: A sharp, short Scottish sword. In the same league as Bruce, Lance, and Steve.

D'Loaf: To make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, first take two slices from D'Loaf of bread.

Dock: A place on the bay where you sit and watch the tide roll away. Child will become tired of being asked, "What's up?"

Dominic: Failed the game played with one rectangular piece. Development was quickly halted when Dominic's cousin realized that the game was more fun when played with multiple tiles.

Doni: A wealthy, conceited real estate baron with bad hair... best known for firing employees.

D'Orr: Often confused with "door," as in "Don't let the D'Orr hit you in the arse on your way out."

Dragon: A mythical beast that breathes fire and kills noble knights to steal their loot. Also associated with severe halitosis and long fingernails.

Drakkar: Popular '80s cologne effective in covering the smell of smoke or marijuana.

Dred: Sibling of fear and loathing. Also a rolled, matted hairdo that makes use of cow manure.

Dude: The tragic subject of the Aerosmith song who will have gender identity issues. Will grow up to become a valet parking attendant.

Duffin: Hairdresser affectionately known as Muffin by his significant other, Aquaman.

Duke: A badass gunslinger. Also, a fluffy ruler in the UK. Teachers will find his cocksure swagger, Liberace style of dress, and tendency to call the other children "pilgrim" annoying and distracting.

Dull: Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A child never invited to parties. An also-ran in the 2000 presidential election, and a spokesperson for a medical problem that men refuse to talk about.

Dylan: A hard-boiled Welsh poet who drank himself to death; a whiny '60s folk singer.

Kisses with a pierced tongue?!

I got ready for NOTHING tonight, I see. Eric apparently forgot to call and say he was sick... hmm. *shifty eyes* That better not be a cover for "I'm actually with someone else right now..." UGH!

These are from my copy of America's Dumbest Dates: Over 500 Tales of Fumbled Flirtations.

The Kiss

"A kiss is a promise. It's a hint of what's to come. It's also how I decide if anything IS to come." - Tyler, age 25.

"Mike was afraid to kiss me goodnight. He stood at my door, shifting from foot to foot, saying that he had to go home. I tried to make it easy; I tilted my head up, stepped closer to him, parted my lips. Nothing. Finally, when my head hurt from tilting, I gave up. Just as I backed away, he lunged and dove to kiss me - and missed, knocking me backward into the wall. It was like dating Clouseau." - Celia, age 59.

"When you're out with a woman, sooner or later, there's this silence. The pause. This eye contact. That's when it's time to make a move. Gloria stared into my eyes, searching. The silence grew. I leaned forward to kiss her, and she said that there was a glob of something in my eyelid, and asked if I had a cold." - Dave, age 37.

"Griffin declared that with AIDS and all, it was necessary to be completely open. Then he proceeded to tell me his entire sexual history. But after I heard the details of all his exploits, I didn't want to go out with him anymore. Hell, I didn't even want him to sit on my sofa." - Jean, age 34.

"I couldn't get between her and Puffy, her cat. We went into the den to watch a tape. I sat on the sofa next to her, put my arm around her. She snuggled Puffy." - John, age 32.

"He licked his lips before each kiss. We're about to kiss and he licks his lips. It was snake-like, reptilian. Also wet. I backed up. Kiss aborted. Impulse lost." - Suzanne, age 32.

"Allen told me that he was a v-v-virgin and that he only s-s-s-stut-t-t-ered wh-when he was t-t-turned on by somebody. He d-d-d-didn't th-think he c-c-could go on if he couldn't get s-s-someone to s-s-s-sleep with him. I told him it was a good t-t-try but, as far as I know, he's still stuttering." - Jen, age 30.

"He talked about women's hands, how much he appreciated long manicured nails and graceful slender fingers. How they enchanted him. How certain women wove sexual spells with their fingertips. How good hands turned him on. I sat on mine till my fingers got numb. When my drink came, I was afraid to reach for it." - Judie, age 34.

"The woman purred. I mean the way a lion purrs after it's eaten an elk. Dangerous." - Leroy, age 33.

"Under the stars, I tilted my head, parted my lips, and closed my eyes, anticipating our first kiss. He planted his top teeth right below my nose, his bottom teeth on my chin, and dug them into my skin. At the same time, he jabbed at me with his tongue. I pulled away, and there was an embarrassed silence. Then he apologized for not being a good kisser since his tongue wasn't long enough." - Amy, age 23.

"He used breath spray before kissing me. And afterward, as he left my apartment. And in between kisses, whenever he could sneak a spritz, like every five seconds." - Tina, age 28.

"Dave loved his looks. Every chance he got, he admired himself in a window or a mirror. When we kissed, he tried to position himself near a mirror so he could watch." - Donna, age 29.

"She punctuated each kiss with a loud, wet smack. Mmmwchwaaa. The way my grandmother kisses me." - Miles, age 24.

"Moaning was her thing. Who knows why; certainly it had nothing to do with the level of our activity. The minute we made body contact, she'd moan. She was loud, and like a horn. I mean, I thought volunteer firemen might go running to the station." - Mitch, age 31.

"When I looked in the mirror the next morning, I had a hickey the size of a golf ball. It took about a month to go away. I was afraid she'd marked me for life." - Bob, age 24.

"In the middle of a movie, Cathy leaned over and started licking my face, like I was an ice cream cone. I turned to look at her, and she started licking my lips. My face was covered with spit." - Hank, age 24.

"Cassy kissed with food in her mouth. Like, she couldn't take the time to swallow; she had to kiss while still chewing. This didn't work for me, but it wouldn't have been so bad if she'd been eating something good. But secondhand tuna didn't work at all." - Jeff, age 31.

"She wanted to kiss big in public. And she had to be linked to me, attached like a tick. Her arm was intertwined with mine the whole night. She wrapped herself around me. If I moved, she moved. If she didn't want to move, I couldn't." - Beau, age 23.

"JoEllen was nice, but she pierced her tongue. I found that difficult to kiss with. And I didn't think I had the right to ask her to remove the metal first." - T.J., age 23.

"Sunny automatically French kissed. I thought it was premature; I don't think you should French without an engraved invitation. But she pried my lips open with her tongue and forged ahead, relentless." - Matt, age 32.

"Her earlobes were lined with studs. It made them hard to nibble. Who wants to suck barbed wire?" - Seth, age 24.

"When I kissed Donny, I smelled food. His mustache kept an aromatic record of what he'd eaten that day. All I could think of was barbecued pork." - Dusty, age 33.

"Steve had a big, bushy mustache. He also had sinus problems or allergies, was blowing his nose the whole night. Then he wanted to kiss. All I could think of was the germs in his mustache." - Julia, age 43.

"Penny was not timid with her tongue. She cleaned out my esophagus. Stole my half lunch. I mean, she had me nailed." - Derek, age 23.

"She had a bad cold, maybe coming down with the flu. Then she expected me to kiss her. I walked her to her door, and she lifted her face and puckered up, waiting. I had no choice but to kiss her. Besides, shaking hands might have been worse: they say hand-to-hand is the way most germs are spread." - Jamal, age 24.

"Letisha keeps her eyes open the whole time. She stares. It's weird." - Eric, age 24.

"It was like she was imitating some movie, some soap opera, doing lavish French kissing and impressive moaning and groaning, fancy moves. I just wanted some simple, basic lip-to-lip. But I got this stage performance." - Ron, age 32.

"Penny chews gum while she kisses. I stole it from her, and she got furious with me." - Peter, age 39.

"Charlene made kissing into a chase. Her mouth traveled. I kept trying to catch up with her, but she was always ahead of me. Her mouth was on my cheek, I turned my head; too late - she was on my neck. I scrunched down; she landed on my ear." - Bill, age 34.

"She put so much pressure on her lips that I needed to ice my mouth when I got home. I mean, she has some strength there - must exercise those suckers." - Dwayne, age 27.

"I didn't realize there are some lipsticks that just don't rub off. I'll never hear the end of the day I went back to the office after lunch with Reggie." - Bud, age 36.

Yearbook inscriptions from Gr. 10

These are yearbook inscriptions from the 1991-92 school year.

Leon Stephens: "Hey Leslie. Band class was a lot of fun. Have a good summer."

Gary Pattern: "Leslie, have a good summer. I want your thighs. Thanks for helping me on the French test... NOT!"

Clayton Sato: "Les! Your last year here. Too bad... you will be a legend when you are gone."

Dave Swan-McKenzie: "Have a great summer."

Derek Yih: "Gone from Palmer, huh? Too bad. Have a good summer."

Taryn Ying Sun: "Have an awesome summer. This year went fast. I'll see ya next year. Love always!"

Natalie Basiren: "Hey, Leslie. Good luck in future years. :)"

Darcy Tweedly: "Leslie, my bud from way back. Have a great summer. Luv, Darcy."

Akane Hume: "Glad to have met you. Have an awesome summer. Hope you remember my student number."

Steve Joyce: "Have a fun summer."

Jonas Greig: "Hi, Les. Have a great summer. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Denise Fraser: "Hi! Have a great summer!" (she drew a cool thing!)

Amelia Myckatyn: "Have a great summer. Good luck next year!"

Samantha Stevens: "Have a great summer. Call me... we'll have fun! P.S. Don't forget Jaws! :)" [our name for Mrs. Grafton... kinda like Mrs. Ramscharita being called RAMBO, but not really :P]

Freddie Esteban: "Hi, Leslie. Good luck next year!"

Jeff Rea: "Les... watch that Nick. He's a wild man."

Dan Harowitz: "Leslie, my wonderful storyteller. Have a great summer. Love, Dan."

Karen Ashdown: "Leslie, have a good summer. Hope I don't see ya at McNair."

Carly Turner: "Three long years are over, Leslie. Have a good summer."

Carrie Smith: "Have a wild one."

Ashley Garrison: "Leslie! Have a good summer. Come visit next year!"

Jessica Peter: "Hi, Leslie! Have a good summer! My student number is 91199."

Daniel Yeung: "Keep in touch. Have a good summer!"

Karen Chang: "Have a great summer."

Arlette Carlin: "Hi!"

Tara Lynch: "You remember me! Great memory. Take care!"

Priya Bains: "Leslie... you party animal, you. Keep smiling and stay friendly." [girl]

Andrew Mavis: "Have a fun summer!"

Tiffany Ho: "Thanks for remembering my birthday! Have fun and don't forget me! P.S. Keep smiling!"

Gary Mehat: "English and Socials were fun. See ya around."

Trevor Lange: "Hi, Leslie! Have a GREAT summer! NO MORE SCHOOL! :)"

Jamie Reynolds: "You crazy critter, you!"

Monique Spencer: "Hello. Bye. Have a good summer!"

Ray Polnau: "Enjoy your summer."

Josie Loyola: "Hi! Have a great summer!"

Paula Bednjak: "You are such a BOOGEDY! Tricia McLaughlin is WEIRD!"

Jason Leonard: "Call me. Serve me well. Party Hard. Drink Beer. Smoke Up."

Angela Landon: "Hi, Leslie. You are cool!"

Blair Arbuthnot: "Hi, Leslie. So what's my student number? Hah hah hah."

Paul Gallagher: "Hey, Lesser. Whoa!"

Megan Wilson: "Hey, Les. Have a great summer, and have a great year next year!"

Sage Berryman: "Thanks for the card. Have fun!"

Shauna Hawkins: "Hi! I enjoy sitting next to you in Band. Good luck next year."

Bob Singh: "Leslie, have a great year!"

Galvin Lowe: "Leslie! Have fun in McNair, because I'm going to Richmond. Just kidding."

Pam Shih: "Hi, Leslie. Well, Palmer's conquered. Have a great summer. Luv ya!"

Neelum Khalsa: "Hey, Leslie. I really admire your courage and strength. I know you'll go places." [girl]

Laura Hooites-Meursing: "I'm so happy to be one of those certain people."

Alan Cofman: "Have a great summer. It was a great year. Keep up the clarinet. See you soon."

Nick Turner: "Leslie, it was MY water gun! I'm faster than you! See ya!"

Alex Price: "Lesser... have a wonderful summer. You are cool."

Malinda Sandhu: "My bud! Keep smiling and being funny! You are too cool!"

Jackie Ip: "Hi, Leslie. It was nice knowing you. Good luck in senior high."

Lori Nishi: "Leslie, have a great time at McNair. See ya around."

Joe Downer: "Leslie! Have a great summer. Keep smiling."

Allison McLaughlin: "Quick! What was last year's student number?"

Kelly Overton: "Have a good time in the summer."

Rocky Gill: "Have a good summer."

Rebecca Healey: "Leslie: It was great meeting you! Take care, have a great summer, and be nice to everyone. See ya next year!"

Tara Thom: "Have a terrific summer, and don't get into trouble. 90273."

Brian Nishi: "Awesome 11 years knowing you, Leslie. See you around next year at McNair. Have a good summer."

Sheri Jones: "Leslie, have a fucking wild summer! Party on! Remember: sex, drugs, and alcohol!"

Kim Nguy: "Thanks for telling me my student number. Have a good summer."

Dave Powell: "How's it going? Sorry for hitting ya. Well, see you later."

Sonia Zimmerman: "Hey, Les. See you next year. Have a great summer."

Andrew Rollo: "Hey Leslie! So, ever think you'd make it?! Well, ya did... and it was three years of pure hell! Have a really great summer, and see ya next year! Your bud."

Grace Hofstee: "Hey, Leslie - hang in there! See you next year! Bye! Luv, Grace."

Grace Oliveros: "Dear Leslie, how did you remember my student number? Have fun!"

Willy Kump: "See you next year!"

Debbie McClure: "Leslie... nice knowing you. You've helped me understand a lot of things."

Lisa Carlin: "Have a great summer! Finally out of Palmer!"

Heather MacLeod: "Hey Leslie! Palmer was rad! Have an awesome summer!"

Helen Huynh: "Have a good summer!"

Vanessa Lucas: "You're out of Palmer. Hope you have a good summer."

Mary Oishi: "Have a great summer, Leslie! See ya!"

Bill Yeung: "Have a good summer, Leslie."

Jason Ackerman: "It's been nice knowing you."

Upkar Gill: "Hey, Leslie. Powell's a geek. French was boring. Have a great summer."