Cutting off your own parts / Lawry's Seasoned Salt

Today's Celebratory Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it. Geoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England. After performing the deed, Mr. Huish put his severed anatomy in a bag and took them to his local social club to show fellow fans. He collapsed with blood loss and was rushed to hospital, but surgeons could not reattach his missing parts. He was put in a psychiatric ward, but has no history of mental illness and was at a loss to explain why he did it. "I'd told my pal Gethin Probert before the game that Wales didn't stand a chance," Mr. Huish told The Sun. "It wasn't a bet, but I said I'd cut my b*lls off if we won. I listened to the game on the radio at home by myself. After the match, I got up for a pee and saw the cutters in the bathroom. Gethin had left them after repairing the chain on my toilet. I remembered what I'd said and thought he had left them for me. I thought 'Oh no, I haven't got to do anything like that, have I' and then I thought 'You can do it.' So I started hacking away at my tackle. It took about 10 minutes and there was quite a bit of pain, but I just kept going. The cutters were blunt, so I had to keep snipping." After picking out his testicles from the toilet bowl, he went to the social club. "I went in and shouted out 'I've done it!'," Mr. Huish said. "I took my b*lls out and passed them in the bag to a friend. "Some people then laid me on the floor." Mr. Huish continues to see a psychiatrist. "I think about what happened every day, and still haven't come up with a good reason why," he said. "I'd had a lot going on and felt a bit down. I can't have kids now, but still want a family - maybe I'll adopt."

Culled from: The Sydney Morning Herald
Generously submitted by: Sandy

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Okay, Bears fans... you know what to do on Sunday should your team buck the odds. I will just sit back and enjoy the post-game festivities!

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Now here's a Jewish gift that even a Comtesse could love! A Plush Plagues Bag!

Thanks to Joe for the link.

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

Two women in the afterlife:

1st woman: "Hi! My name is Wanda."

2nd woman: "Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?"

1st woman: "I froze to death."

2nd woman: "How horrible!"

1st woman: "It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?"

2nd woman: "I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV."

1st woman: "So, what happened?"

2nd woman: "I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died."

1st woman: "Too bad you didn't look in the freezer --- we'd both still be alive."


Lawry's Seasoned Salt

This seven-ingredient clone of Lawry's Seasoned Salt can be made in a small bowl, but is best used when poured into an old spice bottle that you've cleaned out and saved. You've saved one of those somewhere, right?

2 tablespoons salt
2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon cornstarch

1. Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and mix well.
2. Pour blend into an empty spice bottle with shaker top to store. Makes 1/4 cup.