Freak dinner plate accidents and Monty Python

Today's Freaky Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A Victorian man bled to death after accidentally cutting his throat on a broken dinner plate. The freak accident happened as the man, from Point Lonsdale, south-west of Melbourne, Australia, was taking the leftovers from his dinner outside to give to his dog. The 57-year-old tripped as he went out the back door of his home. "He was carrying a plate, like a china plate, he's tripped and had a tumble and the plate's smashed and he's been fatally injured," a police spokesman said. The man landed on a sharp piece of the plate, which cut him across the neck. "His wife was present and tried to help him," the spokesman said. Paramedics were called to the house, but the man had already lost a large amount of blood and was unconscious when they arrived. "It's horrible. What are the chances the plate is going to break and you are going to fall on it that way?" Rural Ambulance spokesperson Jessica Li said. "I know it was family members that called triple-zero and I'm sure they were trying to do what they could, but once we arrived, there was nothing we could do," she said. The man died at the scene. "It's certainly one of those freak accidents, I've never seen one like that around this area," the police spokesman said. "I hope I don't see another one like it. It's just terrible."

Culled from: TheAge.Com
Generously submitted by: Bruce T.

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Is it normal for Australians to change tense in the middle of a sentence? Let's see ... "He was carrying a plate... he's tripped and had a tumble and the plate's smashed and he's been fatally injured." Very confusing! But then again, these are the descendants of criminals, so I suppose I should cut them a break...

(Of course, I only say this because I have tons of family in Australia, and I've suffered plenty of harassment over the years for the way I pronounce words like "orange" and say things like "going to the restroom.")

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Morbid Song Du Jour!

Barbara T. submits a lyric for our consideration:

All Things Dull and Ugly

Monty Python

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid --
Who made the spiky urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Now, here's the perfect brooch to wear to your next church social! A fetus pin!

If that doesn't cut it, perhaps you'd prefer an enema bag, penis, colon, uterus or sperm and fallopian tube?

Thanks to Keith for the link.