Surrealist Compliment Generator

I love sites that give you random phrases every time you reload the page, like the Surrealist Compliment Generator, Angelfire's 404 messages, and Audioscrobbler (last.fm)! I had a list of these things on the 486 (with the obvious exception of Audioscrobbler), but it died with the computer. Here we go again, then... in three separate entries. Note: these lists are NOT exhaustive!

There are a few options as to what it tells you after the compliment, too...

1. Reload this page to receive another omnivorous compliment.
2. Reload this page to receive another perspicacious compliment.
3. Reload this page to receive another tellurite compliment.
4. Reload this page to receive another Norwegian compliment.
5. Reload this page to receive another voluptuous compliment.
6. Reload this page to receive another extraditious compliment.
7. Reload this page to receive another subdermal compliment.
8. Reload this page to receive another exquisite compliment.
9. Reload this page to receive another serial compliment.
10. Reload this page to receive another perspicuous compliment.

Here are the compliments... SO AMUSING!

1. Madam! How your enormous foreskin shades me from the sun!
2. Madame, your implement is admonishing me!
3. Sir, what exquisite breasts you have!
4. Madam, what a handsome moustache you wear!
5. Tabulate your monger. You will be well-flayed for the effort!
6. Your pendulous thorax makes cellists envious of the rotund sounds emanating from your nose in D minor.
7. May clinging breasts always come to your aid in the kitchen.
8. Sir, you've broken your water.... may I get you a new glass?
9. Your nose hairs scare me.
10. I must demand your pleasing chin! How it passes there and back again like a leopard searching for its misplaced frontal lobes.
11. I relentlessly desire your custard tongue between my eyelids.
12. Your skin emanates such a porcelain sheen that I am tempted to stamp WC under your bosom and across your armpits.
13. I find your eye sockets to be a wondrous amusement park of neo-plastic pleasures and oncogenic delights.
14. You wear your breasts like a man with an uncontrollable bulge in his apartment.
15. The dimples of your breasts do pucker evocatively when you smile.
16. May you be always find naked women to throw tiny pickels at you and coo in oblivious delight at your witty, urbane opener of foreign post and packages.
17. Your mucuous membranes glisten with the glow of forty-seven burning violins.
18. Madame, ist thou donning space underwear? For thine ass doth lie beyond the physical boundaries of this world!
19. Your dainty nostrils flare with the humblest grandiosity of an ant swallowing a water buffalo.
20. You do but seize my motor fixtures into a likeness not unlike the moon.

21. The sisters of St. Cathode ask that you cover yourself with filaments and take pains to make yourself fully incandescent this evening.
22. My pathological scar desires to cite poetry through the ruddied girth of your soul!
23. Your hair is reminiscent of a self-digesting yak in heat.
24. Sausage casings are not the intended consequence of fashionable dress.
25. Dear David, Never was a man so badly meant to wear corrective glasses.
26. Your brilliant hematoma does beguile the natives.
27. My elbow sockets sharpen pencils when you pass by on divine fumes of industrial combustion.
28. Your unexpected explosion entangles us in a web of premature umbrellas and precocious timepieces.
29. Your eyelids refract the turgid limnations of an eel trapped in flickering cinematographic paralysis.
30. The expanse of your intelligence is a void no universe could ever fill.
31. In your presence, even a batallion of body builders could pass the New York State driving exam.
32. Woe is me, for I must forever more huddle, unminded, in the dark shadow of thine undeserved engine of procreation.
33. Thine right eye so plitherates that thine left eye doth graze upon it.
34. Your presence puts me in a truly albino mood.
35. Your eyes flash upon my cathode ray flesh in a manner that propels my viscera into an eternal state of turgid flux.
36. Your aquiline senescence implores me to generalize within the realms of a starfish's lifelong hallucinations of gelatin pools and of actuaries floating upon the Rhine.
37. You have no socially redeeming value.
38. Kanseller din ekstreme hundekjeks innen det virtuelle livmorsfälget eksellerer.
39. The French Foreign Legion could not match the lucid beauty of your toenails!
40. How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?

41. If you behave, there will be cake for the miscreants we call your brothers.
42. You salivate strongly, like a platoon of army engineers trapped in a fit of malaria.
43. In caressing your follicles, I am only vaguely reminded of the bitter harvest.
44. What beautiful negligence you wear!
45. Wear stents akimbo!
46. Ever do I seek the elusive flexures of your large intestine.
47. If seen on a disintegrating smokestack, your eyelashes would certainly compell even a wayward band of masticating cod into a feverish frenzy.
48. Your presence reminds one of a blind jackal, eternally dependent upon misguided archbishops to provide instruction in bowling.
49. Your mucuous membranes glisten with the glow of reactions in the act of regurgitation.
50. I do sense a complete and utter vaccuum in the space between your auricles.
51. Convexion sees between your eyes. Herds of gazelle concave at your feet!
52. Your dashingly colored toupee twists my right boot into a state of ennui with the speed and dexterity of many lemon meringue-coated conquistadors.
53. Your eyes shine with the greed of a misplaced tea strainer.
54. I love your eyes, but only with ketchup.
55. Tus ojos me piden agarrarte por el cuello y exprimirlo.
56. The expansion (and resultant rapid cooling) of your consecrated culotte sings the golden turnip with the mulatto touch-typist in my pants.
57. As the bile slowly rises in my incandescent eluxulator, your mere presence has a calming effect upon my rabies.
58. Were it not for the dizzy whiptail ambivalence of your crumbling fleece, I could never contemplate the ways of so many merchant bankers in heat.
59. When faced with scathing winds and torrents pouring forth stain, your mind thinks cleverly to the leprous angels found in all train crashes.
60. You are as frightful as an engine developed solely for the countenance of sexual innuendo by country music.

61. La sola visione dei tuoi magnifici occhi mi fanno diventare ottimista per tutto cio' che riguarda la mia vita.
62. Transistors bridge where your vanity would never go.
63. You do dine so emergently that sanguine trepidation overcomes the house-staff.
64. A suburban distance lying across your chest, a purpled frock befitting the asphyxiated, cans of lima beans upon your knees, you are truly a goddess of disturbed tranquility!
65. You foment graciously, as ever any dying monster did rot.
66. How lovely is your curdled priest!
67. Bleed me! My memory is fried with your pork!
68. Flies dance operas to your wisdom.
69. You are the swordfish that will never shower.
70. You look like someone who has lunched poorly and who has no expectations for dinner.
71. Tribes of primitive hunters, with rhinestone codpieces rampant, should build pyramids of Chevy engines covered in butterscotch syrup to exalt the diastolic, ineffable, scintillated and cacophonous salamander of truth which slimes and distracts from each and every orifice of your holy refrigerator, Sears be its brand.
72. You blink thrice warned that I can but think of the eyebrows of Richard Nixon covering a hostess of furry Twinkies.
73. I surmise that your basement is made of skin and is never depleted of nurses.
74. Your ear-splitting sequels have a mind of their own.
75. Your eyes show as many deep and full shades of blue as a healing bruise upon an injured forelimb.
76. Your petulance is seduction unto extinction.
77. Eyes like scars dimple your ears.
78. A Latvian in pain could not attain your Gibraltar-mending squeals.
79. Teacups smash, flounders ignite spontaneously in your presence.
80. Your entrance is ever a segue to endless lands of derision.

81. Certainly your trout are more proseperous to vacuum than the flying coachmen of Czar Nicholai!
82. Panoramic aromavision is too narrow for olfaction in your general presence.
83. Wend you not to wreak annihilable havoc with my tumefascent transmitters and turgid devices.
84. 'Lo, EUREKA,' I yelled into the cat, 'Thou art truly laborious and divergent. My nose bleeds for your impending encounter with the front fender of a Mercedes Benz.'
85. Thine integral refractions upon a lump of coal exhibit multiple pulmonary geysers.
86. Dustmites the world over love you for your feet.
87. Your love is like 1000 caucasian carnivores playing mumblety peg with an eggplant.
88. Cretins and vermin cannot compare with the depths of your cousins.
89. You have the vocabulary of an aspidistra in panic.
90. You ever remind me of the enigma of postage not sent.
91. You have not yet reached the height of your depravity.
92. Beauty is cataplexed in contemplation of your multidimensional effervescence.
93. Your mother once had eyes that shone like the legs of Mae West.
94. The quietness of a manhole cover cannot compare with the wild vapours of nylon I sense in your larynx.
95. So precisely, your head fits into the smallest of diameters.
96. Your arms lengthen daily like the edges of a festering table.
97. Ermine derision scalds your protuberant nares.
98. Your beautiful Bulgarian bricks stack like the thousand eyes of Estonian potatos, peering amid fuzzy dreams of corrugated cardboard.
99. Your eyes glow like naked livers burning in the sun.
100. Troglodyte kidneys measure sardonic spasms not unlike the movements of an albatross buried in creosote.

101. Sound barricades itself into rolls of peanut butter when you speak.
102. You are as truthful as a Communist in the streets of Milan.
103. Your face is like an imperfectly shaven tennis ball.
104. In hunger, you most certainly drool pendulums of sinusoids and wounded mosques.
105. You are truly a wristwatch in a world of lumps.
106. Be still, my love, my watermelon rind. I am consumed with your collection of agile fans and pocked blades.
107. The hair in your mouth tickles the divine underbelly of my pulsating hypothalmus, flooding my terrestrial erector set with expressive washes of saponifying liquors.
108. Your eyebrows are as verdantly forested as the woodworms of my most sombre dreams.
109. Your layers of absinthe and torsion form concretions of hyperalimentation.
110. You mutter such objects of equine delight that the mind's ability to sew slices of mordant ivory becomes tamed with visions of Tamils in Constantinople.
111. Your higher cortical centers ever send forth ignorant bliss and immortal contagion.
112. Your dandruff falls like the fixtures within a scenic railway passing through a thousand bearded rainbows...
113. Cher ami, votre tendre chapeau a heurte trois de mes phalanges avec une grace incomparable.
114. The tiny sounds of ancient bees resound forth from the forested coercions between your toes.
115. Suffer, for you are toasting the Marzipan!.. (.. and may I upon pretense ring latent tintinabulations for your Andalusian raisins!)
116. How beautiful is the snowshine in your eyes, so directly current from the static in your brain.
117. You breathe as delicately as vapors of methane flowing towards an attractive flame.
118. You enter while seven exits.
119. Your nasal linings will last as long as the skin of rocks, thrust enigmatically upon a distant shoreline of mating beetles.
120. Your intelligence attains the grand summation of molecular motion at absolute zero.

121. Ever do you remind me of a staircase falling exotically into a sea of spilled macaroni.
122. Din nese overger kun din haltende underleppe!
123. Your soul contains all that is found in insects, pigs, and vermin.
124. Optical delusions still themselves when you pass by in convexing pomp and sacral trance.
125. Legions of Communists worship your robust cannabalism of Capitalists clad in junk mail suits.
126. Your fingers sublimate into volcanic gases with the slightest cooling touch from the antennae of a passing lyre.
127. If I were to combine your blood, toes, and hair, it might not be you, but it would be enough for my basic desires.
128. The goats you buy shed a perfume that makes Marxism so terribly clear to me.
129. Such meals that you cook! Certainly your kitchen is overrun with pestilence and vermin!
130. Your sweet voice is like the snap of a bra strap upon a sunburnt back.
131. Your hair sends forth a sheen remniscent of a wounded man streaming bandage gauze from the highest church steeple.
132. Your successful diet could mean countless pounds shed for the planet.
133. You have the intrepid appeal of a carnivorous apple on its way to a pile of cadaveric stones.
134. The ocean's foam matches the froth of hair streaming through your lips.
135. Your nasal hair speaks volumes concerning the Isle of Wright.
136. You are as dazzling as a pregnant cow attired in electrical sockets.
137. Garbage bins would be seventh with ivy to hold your face under a stone.
138. Oh!, how you inflict me with wounds of paranoia and desire.
139. May your succulent earlobes ever flap about my knees like a thousand wooden pigeons fleeing the local sawmill.
140. Softly seething, surreal breathing..
Ignite the cannon with sphagnum lanthum..
Laud the armies of diphthongs with your superannuating Diphtheria..
And I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries.

141. Anathema comes ever to mind when thinking of you.
142. You are as orange as a congeleen afro curled around the bony edges of a silver spoon expressing its innermost desires for a lime-based detergent.
143. Les caresses de tes yeux fertiles sont plus douces que toutes les gifles de tes mains rouilies.
144. Luminescence breeds in your finest moments of desperation.
145. You look like a million paces tonight.
146. Your ideas are as fresh and new as an agatized stromatolite.
147. Entranced by the bitter harmony of your lips, I gaze beyond reason to find the oasis of your ruptured soul.
148. May you always be as vivid as your hallucinations.
149. Give me your hand that I may want of your broken nails.
150. Your mobile calluses massage even the most scarred of surfaces.
151. Ceci n'est pas un compliment.
152. Your teeth are as soft as liquid stones poured from an aquamarine vase of solidifying flesh.
153. Your higher cerebrations are most post-mortem.
154. Woods nymphs sprinkle your path with bowlings balls while you dance and prowl in the sequined moonlight with leftover heads of lettuce.
155. It's a far far better thing I do than to require that you find me a hammer and pummel me with all due diligence.
156. The spark of intelligence in your blinking eyes is not unlike the glow from the teeth of an electrocuted axe-murderess.
157. Your Hands do the work of 10,000 highly trained lesbian jumping beans.
158. The holes in your earlobes ever make me think fondly of the pock-marked landscapes upon the lunar surface.
159. Your wit, your teeth, your pasty reflection can but incorporate freely into the powerful surface of a disintegrating mirror set afloat upon a swarm of locusts.
160. Your brilliant hematoma does beguile the natives.
161. I see your loves in cloves.
162. If you were a camel, your humps would be esoterically bald from overuse.
163. Hermaphrodites around the galaxy desire that you turn your rock and crochet bowl to its loudest setting.
164. You have been blessed with the egregious qualities of a duffle-bag in His Majesty's Royal Navy.
165. Your affluent effluent drives even the most zeal-minded to imbibe.
166. My eyelids belch with effluvial afterthoughts when you tease me with gelatin and congealed chicken rinds.
167. May bathtubs overflow upon your offspring.
168. You are more beautiful than a bouquet of fossils.
169. Ever do I seek the elusive flexures of your large intestine.
170. You so truly know your inner plankton, it is a revelation not unlike discovering an impacted toll booth upon the plains of Patagonia.
171. La pluie de vos insultes n'atteint pas le parapluie de mon indifference.
172. You have the patience of a trilobite.
173. Tensile congratulations on your conceptual development of obliterative existence!
174. Your brother's chicken coop is as abundunt as the home port of the U.S. Navy's Sixth Fleet.
175. Your legs are like threads of cotton, though much thicker, and filled with weevils.
176. Many sausages have known things before you had time to react.
177. A kitten's growl would not come near the plights of your spoken voice.
178. You move with the eloquence of disintegrating fuselage.
179. Wallets of fur would bombard a triassic keychain rather than face dialysis in your equable fishtank.
180. Your intelligence is equal to the smoothness of a walnut shell.

181. I should welcome flagellation by your ovoviviparous torso.
182. May your shit always sport dog on the bottom of your shoe.
183. You are the sound of one lip kissing.
184. Your moist towelette speaks to me in lather as the disgruntled postman listens attentively in Yiddish, pumping only an iron to the mini-van.
185. Weals and boils come forth as testament to your fine sense of haute couture.
186. Your cleverness ferments meat without the need of oxygen.
187. Your nose hair is pleasingly twisted with the roots of a bristlecone pine that is so precariously perched on the side of a cliff, it may easily uproot and fall upon the Republican lobbyists below.
188. Send me your hangnails. With great eagerness, I will knit them into divine papal integuments.
189. Il mio cuore batte per te come un trattore al minimo.
190. You are a banana moon subverting the sun.
191. Your eyes are like spheres of glue filled with shimmering worms.
192. You hail the calves as eloquently as any facade of Easter Island.
193. The perils of your eyelashes torture my libido into a state of crass belief in Roman Catholicism.
194. Your sunburnt skin is as beautiful as gangrenous flesh peeled from an amputated limb.
195. Marmots will stick to you in Delaware.
196. Ever would one thank the very ground upon which you walk that your blossoming feet be never engaged.
197. Were giraffe's antennae to sprout from your barnacled elbows, one could but weep for the pretense of a fallen chamber pot.
198. Uw oren zijn als vliegende schotels.
199. Ah! how the play of light upon your shoulders does bring one to reminisce of fallen lighthorsemen and gaseous trenches.
200. Your woes provide the mechanism for cylindrical reasoning.

201. The seared runes crossing your divided consciousness do speak of contemptuous cardinals setting a Spanish villa ablaze.
202. The shape of your ears is the totality of bedpans in a fit of cholera.
203. Es demasiado tarde, pero te ves guapisimo.
204. Your eyes are much like milky pools of pantyhose.
205. Soft sausages would gladly procreate in the bathwater of your verisimilitude.
206. Mon amour, tu es aussi bestiale qu'une branche de cedre!
207. You are as effective as a linear geometry based upon the Maginot Line.
208. Fast blinking reveals the true visage of timepieces hidden within your eyes.
209. Sortons les routes des mamelles d'antan launch la joie des voleurs la nacelle se remplit.
210. [blank compliment field]
211. May you always have stables of horses to service your needs.
212. Rearing in quaffed monk, you stun me by employing eight windows when the priest is but iodine.
213. So charmingly heathen, your skin is like a teardrop on a popsicle.
214. The Green Paint on the Walls Clouds my Thoughts of Flying Planks of Wood, Much An ocean-going tin of crosseyed mussels could never match the melodious burblings of your sister's husband.
215. Your raw sensuality flusters me as the dog sneezes into the ventilation fan.
216. You meander through love as a river delta contemplating levitation.
217. Never pet your dog when it is on fire.
218. Vos lobes d'orreilles sont comme les tetes des poissons en hiver.
219. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
220. The limpidity of your objections ever motivates my hunger.
221. You turn the atmosphere wild with currents of vitriol when you smile at the passing insects.
222. Your fingers staple pine nuts into everything you touch.
223. Votre regard est plus penetrant qu'une stalagmite sertie dans son antre d'albatre.
224. I would sing by an aria of pain to your endearments and wiles.
225. Your tears evoke a taste as memorable as honey.
226. Seven donkeys and a concubine cannot compare with the tarnished sheen left in your path of combustion.
227. Fighting for the liberty of the fruit tree tastes nothing like the glint of Sagittarius rounding itself around your uvula. I know the time will soon arrive when we will see people manufactured in crates and sieves of glass.
228. Mano a mano, le tue ossiflexe, si starnubbano nel brondio.
229. His Majesty's caravan is as compelling as your temper.
230. In your presence, even my shadow acquires the sensation of touch.
231. Cry for the stiffness of the earlobe. The turtles are fallen and the rain stands still. How long must I suffer with your undergarments?
232. ENGINEER YOUR AUNT! Do it! You will be grateful for having done so. Yolutsky promises to cease diddling with your ears.
233. Fear not the earl lest I had conquered him and peopled else this isle with Calibans.
234. Your elbow patches rumble with a fear reminiscent of mayonnaise cradled in Scotchgard.
235. You wear your ears well, true to the testament of loose-fitting flesh.
236. You are the Ayatollah of Confusion on the night of Divali.
237. Ringworm sleeps comfortably around your umbilicus.
238. BUY WAR BONDS
239. Your Cerebral Hematoma requires me to congratulate you on your ability to compute the Lesbian Integral of a macaroon.
240. Come, let me gnaw your fingernails that I may absorb and lose myself in the wise and gritty detritus that is you.

241. Though I may never see you again, I wish you the warmest clam chowder, the finest of embalmings, and the best in stainless steel cadaver pans that money can buy.
242. Solitamente, quando emani profumi, mi ricordi lamette circonflesse.
243. Soon we will be together, writhing profitably on a bed of non-seasonal vegetables in equine bliss. With this vision, I see no reason why the operation to remove a 2.2kg uneviscerated turkey carcass from my pericardium should fail.
244. The phase of your hallucinations reminds me of those balmy days when the championship mould was breeding, when the fish were long, and so were the valued floats of men we drank through narrow straws...
245. Most certainly, your fingernails stimulate magnetism in the most organic of solvents!
246. When your photons, in effervescent ice-cream (monosyllabic), junk the white (telephone chickens), in a stream (of germinating fundelberries) the lye (in distress) is lifted.
247. Your admirably Manchurian zapfchancery keeps even the loveliest of DuPont pesticides in transit.
248. EAT SPASMOTIC RICE! It beguiles and will improve your complexion.
249. Heizenmizstenwerner ut mal die westernmoviefurter und glipzenglagenheimer zieden un der witzelwaltzerfloggen...
250. The glow of your teeth exudes the courage of raw liver.
251. Timepieces could not know your age.
252. You cannot compare with the apex of a Ferris wheel, nor the nadir of a ditch filled with a coelocanth's droppings.
253. Never align yourself too much with the Listerine salesman.