Batteries exploding and penis-shrinking chemicals!

After I ate the last of my Easter candy and found out that L.A. would advance to the Stanley Cup Final, Corey replied to my Skype message about the laptop noises:

[12:04:33 PM] Leslie: and now my laptop is going to die since it's making screechy noises.
[7:55:50 PM] Leslie: I think my computer is going to die - wait, I told you that already. Maybe it needs to be cleaned.
[9:50:49 PM] Corey: sounds like a fan problem
[9:53:35 PM] Leslie: so is the computer going to explode?
[9:59:01 PM] Corey: probably
[10:09:34 PM] Leslie: seriously
[10:10:26 PM] Corey: the explosion is about the same as a standard military hand grenade
[10:13:42 PM] Leslie: I want 100% truth from you
[10:14:05 PM] Corey: well, do YOU think it will explode?
[10:14:54 PM] Leslie: I'm going to fart on you if you don't answer me
[10:15:28 PM] Corey: okay
[10:16:04 PM] Corey: the only way it will explode is if it was made in China
[10:16:14 PM] Corey: their batteries are known for exploding
[10:18:11 PM] Leslie: oh shit
[10:18:23 PM] Leslie: I think Eric got this in Hong Kong
[10:20:20 PM] Corey: if it's a real computer brand, not something weird, it won't explode........ but if you buy cheap replacement batteries from China, they don't follow the proper safety standards, and those literally can explode. you've probably seen stories about phones and computers blowing up in airports
[10:20:49 PM] Corey: that only happens with cheap Chinese batteries. the last time I bought a phone battery here, they assured me it was made in Taiwan and won't explode
[10:21:49 PM] Corey: though I don't really trust Taiwanese brands much more... they caught a huge food company putting poison in basically every drink sold in Taiwan last year, and I almost definitely drank some of it
[10:27:55 PM] Leslie: yeah, I've seen those stories... and you WHAT?! OH MY GOD
[10:28:58 PM] Leslie: how did they catch that?
[10:30:27 PM] Corey: I don't know. I think the government actually bothered to test something and discovered it
[10:31:05 PM] Corey: look it up, it's called DEHP, and appears to be pretty nasty. they used it instead of some food additive, because apparently nobody would notice the difference and the poison is cheaper
[10:31:49 PM] Corey: in general here, people only think things are bad if they get caught. so everyone thinks that company is evil, but if they weren't caught and a lot of people knew it, they'd just say it was business
[10:31:59 PM] Corey: people here lie and cheat an awful lot
[10:32:24 PM] Leslie: I'm not surprised they used it because it was cheaper.
[10:32:29 PM] Corey: not that people in the West don't, either... but the culture is pretty different. EVERYONE in school cheats.
[10:32:42 PM] Corey: they're almost trained to
[10:32:42 PM] Leslie: and I take it that gets glossed over?
[10:33:30 PM] Leslie: what the hell.... according to my search results, DEHP is one of the top six chemical threats to humans.
[10:34:07 PM] Corey: yay!
[10:38:10 PM] Leslie Ng: Penis-Shrinking Chemical Banned?
[10:39:35 PM] corey_t: yeah!!!
[10:42:02 PM] Leslie Ng: Taiwanese products with DEHP named