The greatest message board filter ever! / Firefox freezing and Corey's remote assistance

Note: LJ high school stereotyped friends / LJ friends as Hollywood stars / LJ summer road trip / LJ ice cream flavors blogquizzes. (by S, Jaya, and Harlequin)


I just heard about the GREATEST MESSAGE BOARD FILTER EVER! Someone on GRAMMAR_WHORES just posted this:

I frequent a forum at which the admins created a filter for a few commonly misspelled words. Any time someone uses "definately," it shows up as: (NOTE: I AM TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW TO SPELL "DEFINITELY" CORRECTLY).

The same thing goes for "rediculous." It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. :-D My favorite part is when the poster has no clue what is going on, so he / she edits the post. He / she doesn't correct the spelling, but adds a line to the bottom of the post that says something like, "Edit: Hay guys, why does it say that? I (NOTE: I AM TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW TO SPELL "DEFINITELY" CORRECTLY) typed in (NOTE: I AM TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW TO SPELL "DEFINITELY" CORRECTLY) rite. Guys? What is going on?"

HAHAHAHAHA! I wish the admins at a certain forum I frequent would do that, but unfortunately they think it's a bad idea. :(

Talked to Corey on real MSN, haha. Firefox was not working, so I asked him about that. :P At least it works now!

Flami: my sister's a gelatinous cube! says: sex is overrated
Corey says: and why do you say that?
Flami says: because Firefox is being a piece of crap
Corey says: what does that have to do with sex?
Flami says: sex?!
Flami says: because as soon as I said that, Firefox decided not to work
Corey says: okay, then why did you say that before Firefox stopped working?
Flami says: heck if I know...
Flami says: oh yeah... I was reading a page full of sex quotes in my latest Bathroom Reader
Corey says: well, anyone that makes quotes like that just hasn't had good experiences or been with people that knew what they were doing :P
Flami says: so... why won't Firefox work?
Corey says: how should I know? :P
Flami says: I thought you were the guru
Flami says: it was working slowly before I decided to restart
Corey says: just saying Firefox doesn't work doesn't tell me anything :P
Flami says: heh, so... what the heck?!
Corey says: don't be so vulgar
Corey says: you're supposed to say "what the f**k?!" or "what the f**king f**k!?!" or even "what the hell, motherf**ker?!?!" if you want to be polite
Flami says: whatever
Corey says: so why is it not working?
Flami says: like *I* know?! :P
Flami says: it shows me a browser window, but then freezes soon afterwards
Corey says: when you go somewhere specific?
Flami says: when I start it up
Corey says: hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete and make sure it's not running in Task Manager
Corey says: then start it up
Flami says: there was only one instance of it...
Flami says: but I've done that at least 10 times by now
Corey says: well, what's the default homepage? maybe that's screwing it up
Flami says: the Yahoo Mail page?!
Corey says: well, did you click the "send report" thing when it crashed? :P sometimes that actually gives you a response with some info about things
Flami says: well, it won't let me do that
Corey says: uh.. why not? :P that comes up whenever something crashes
Corey says: it's part of Windows...
Flami says: yeah, I know... but it won't come up since Mozilla just freezes
Corey says: .. that only comes up IF something freezes :P it then crashes and a Windows thing pops up
Corey says: kill the task and then it should come up
Flami says: well, it didn't
Flami says: would you like to come over here and verify things for yourself?!
Corey says: okay... hold on, I'll be right over
Flami says: uh-huh
Corey says: so how do I get there? :P I'll start out north on I-25 I think, but from there, I'm not sure where to go :P I'll have to go west at some point
Flami says: look it up on Mapquest.. I have no idea about Colorado
Corey says: Colorado's easy, north on I-25 for like 30 minutes or less, and I'm out of it
Corey says: and most anything else important in Colorado is south on I-25
Corey says: it runs along the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, which is where most people live
Corey says: west of that is mountains, east is plains
Flami says: okay... so would you like to do that thing with my computer?
Corey says: what thing is that?
Corey says: Netmeeting into it?
Flami says: yeah
Corey says:
well, give me your IP then, and open up Netmeeting
Corey says: (start menu, run, "conf")
Corey says: What's My IP?
Flami says: oh wait.. what about that thing you did with Amber? That sounds better!
Corey says: that's what we did
Corey says: Netmeeting
Flami says: (not the OTHER thing... the, er, remote desktop)
Flami says: unless that's the same thing
Corey says: you could also get on MSN and try the remote assistance thing
Corey says: real MSN
Corey says: wait, you are :P
Corey says:
Corey says: Actions, Request Remote Assistance
Corey says: try that and if that doesn't work, we can just do Netmeeting
Flami says: let's see
Flami says: you there?
Corey says: nope
Flami says: cheh
Flami says: let's see..

You have invited Corey to start Remote Assistance. Please wait for a response or cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

Corey has accepted your invitation to start Remote Assistance.

Corey says: says it's trying to connect..
Flami says: what is?
Corey says: it looks like it did connect
Corey says: I had a login screen for a second, now it says "waiting for an answer," but your screen is just black
Flami says: oh hey, I have this thing on my taskbar now
Corey says: hey, I can see you now
Corey says: !
Corey says: wow, I can see that twice
Flami says: how interesting...
Corey says: okay, so show me Firefox
Corey says: so why are you putting our whole conversation in a LiveJournal entry?
Flami says: why else?
Flami says: so I can remember it if things go screwy again
Corey says: MSN keeps its own chatlogs, you know
Corey says: you can just look at your MSN history
Flami says: not by default?
Flami says: oh, just found it
Flami says: as for Firefox... okay
Flami says: what did you do to my desktop?
Corey says: I can't do anything to your desktop. :P all I can do is view it right now
Flami says: then why does it look like what it does at present?
Corey says: and what's that? :P no picture? :P maybe it turned it off for the Remote Assistance thing
Corey says: Remote Desktop doesn't send the desktop image by default since huge pictures slow things down
Corey says: yeah, I wish the admins would do that too
Corey says: it's actually a good idea
Corey says: of course your mom is into hentai
Corey says: so open Firefox already so I can see the problem :P unless you just want me to watch you reply to messages
Flami says: hahaha, sorry
Flami says: this is my desktop.........
Flami says: it's just GREY... there used to be an image before...
Flami says: now, here is Firefox
Corey says: like I told you, it's probably just because Remote Assistance is running
Corey says: which sucks because that means I can't get you to give me control and then change your desktop to Lemon Party or something
Corey says: well, you do appear to be just about completely out of memory.. that RAM utility shows 12-13 megs free right now
Corey says: that's not too good
Corey says: Firefox is kind of a RAM hog these days
Flami says: if you do that, you KNOW what I'll do to you..
Flami says: yeah, that's probably because I have all this stuff running..
Corey says: how much RAM do you have? :P show me Task Manager
Flami says: here
Corey says: well, you do have some crap running that you shouldn't have
Corey says: like winampa and realsched and stuff like that
Corey says: that shouldn't be a huge drain on RAM, though
Flami says: so then what's going on?
Corey says: give me control for a bit and I'll go through your MSconfig stuff and look through Task Manager. :P I think you might just be out of memory
Corey says: it'll probably go faster if I just disable stuff really quick :P
Flami says: probably I should do something like that before I re-install this beast
Corey says: reinstall what? Firefox?
Flami says: yeah
Corey says: well, let me mess with it a bit, I can definitely at least free up a little RAM pretty quickly
Corey says: .... *three years later* ....
Flami says: OH! oops

[he messed around with my computer and Task Manager for a bit, and sent me this in the Remote Assistance chat window:

so which button says it's okay? they're cut off :P
you have a lot of annoying crap that pops up :P
some of that probably does nothing but slow stuff down

like Spybot.. AVG checks for spyware, so you don't need another program running constantly.. those type of things REALLY slow things down

definitely don't want more than one anti-virus-ish thing running actively all the time

try restarting.. see if you have a little more memory free

next would probably be disabling Spybot, and probably 300 firewalls you have running :P]

Flami says: hey, I have a picture now! you were right
Corey says: well, of course I am :P
Flami says: aiya... I'm going to restart now
Corey says: okay

[after restarting, I found that the same thing happened again!]

Flami says: AIYOH
Corey says: now what?
Flami says: same thing
Corey says: how much RAM is free?
Flami says: 18-23
Corey says: before starting Firefox?
Flami says: oh, then it was around 45-ish
Corey says: that is not much :P start up Remote Assistance again... I want to look at some other RAM stuff. and open up Task Manager before I take control, I don't know if Ctrl+Alt+Delete will work.. probably just does it on my computer, not yours
Flami says: hold on

You have invited Corey to start Remote Assistance. Please wait for a response or cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

Corey has accepted your invitation to start Remote Assistance.

Flami says: it DOES work on my computer
Corey says: huh? I meant if *I* push that trying to make it happen on YOUR computer, it may not work :P of course it will for you
Flami says: oh, never mind
Flami says: so... when will this thing start?
Corey says: I don't know
Corey says: cancel and try it again

You have invited Corey to start Remote Assistance. Please wait for a response or cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

Corey has accepted your invitation to start Remote Assistance.

Flami says: weird
Flami says: this thing started okay before
Corey says: yeah, I don't know what's up with it now
Flami says: so do we go HARDCORE?
Flami says: like Netmeeting
Corey says: if you want
Flami says: okay, let's do it
Corey says: give me your IP then :P
Corey says: www.whatisyourip.com
Corey says: What is My IP? :P
Corey says: second one
Flami says: [IP deleted]
Corey says: have Netmeeting running?
Corey says: run -> "conf" to start it up
Flami says: gotcha
Flami says: went through a bunch of stuff... let's see...
Flami says: okay, go do your thing
Corey says: go to Tools, Remote Desktop Sharing
Flami says: I hear weird noises. normal?
Corey says: noises like what?
Corey says: me typing?
Corey says: it might be broadcasting sound :P
Flami says: noises like GRUNK GRUNK
Corey says: grunk grunk?
Flami says: yes!
Flami says: like right there
Corey says:
Corey says: I'm not hearing a grunk :P
Flami says: well, it doesn't sound like typing :P
Corey says: still hearing it?
Flami says: yes
Corey says: I'm playing a game.. so if you hear swords and stuff like "outsider!! kill!!"...
Flami says: oh
Flami says: not hearing any of that
Corey says: well, that's the only real noises going on over here
Corey says: so are you sharing your desktop yet? :P
Flami says: actually, now that you mention it.. I *am* hearing weird grunting noises.
Flami says: I thought I just did!
Corey says: hearing them now?
Flami says: yes
Corey says: okay, that's the game :P
Flami says: figured that... now SHARE, you thing
Corey says: you have to do that
Flami says: yes, I know :P I was talking to the Netmeeting application
Corey says: actually, you can also go to Sharing and pick Desktop from there
Flami says: let's see if that works
Corey says: I can see it now
Corey says: did you cancel it?
Flami says: I don't think so
Corey says: I'll try again..
Corey says: oh, if you do stuff, it takes control away from me :P so leave your computer alone while I mess with it
Flami says: hi, I'm Leslie and I suck!
Flami says: Corey!
Corey says: oh, you do not
Corey says: be nice
Corey says: see? you stole control back
Corey says: okay, now I'll actually do that stuff
Flami says! says: so don't type stuff like that in the window then! :P
Corey says: okay, now push Enter in that IE window :P
Corey says: I think you would most definitely benefit from more RAM.... at least 512MB, preferably like 1GB. not super expensive from Newegg.com

you hardly have any RAM.. so you're using all of that, plus almost all your virtual memory, which is on your hard drive and slooooooow
Corey says: any speed issues are almost surely from that... right now, you're using close to 512 including virtual memory... so having 512 of actual RAM would help a lot.. but having more than that (since you're not even running a lot of stuff at the moment and it's almost using that up) would definitely help... you don't want to have to use virtual memory much
Corey says: it's slow
Flami says: IE window?
Flami says: I don't THINK so!
Corey says: I can see your background on this one :P
Corey says: well, I saw the bottom edge anyway
Flami says: what background?
Corey says: your desktop
Flami says: okay, what did you do to my MSN window while I was taking a shower? :P
Corey says: I didn't touch MSN :P the Lemon Party window that I didn't even hit Enter on is all I did other than look at system settings to see that you need more RAM
Flami says: yeah... so what does that have to do with Firefox again?
Corey says: if you have RAM, things will run much much better...
Corey says: and is Firefox working? you have a Firefox window open
Corey says: I didn't check it out, though
Flami says: oh hey, it works (for now?)
Flami says: maybe I'll ask white Eric about that
Corey says: ask green Eric
Flami: my sister's a gelatinous cube! says: you KNOW why I say that :P
Corey says: green Eric can turn into the Incredible Hulk and fight off bad guys
Corey says: does he know how to install RAM? :P it's very simple.. you just plug it in :P no configuration changes on the computer or anything
Corey says: just buy the right type and pop it in
Flami says: he's a computer science person, so I figure he does
Corey says: uh, if he is, then I'd certainly hope he could handle installing RAM :P
Flami says: there you go
Corey says: well, ask him about it. :P he should be able to figure out what type you need. probably SDRAM, I don't think your computer is old enough to still need PC133 or something...
Flami says: do I need to know what that is?
Corey says: SDRAM? :P just the type of RAM to buy (probably)
Corey says: I'd suggest one 512MB stick or two... or one 1GB :P and take your old RAM out. :P just replace it with at least 512MB, preferably 1GB, either as two 512s, or one 1GB :P
Flami says: okay...
Flami says: pages turning? is that it?
Corey says: pages turning? what are you talking about?
Flami says: I heard what sounded like pages turning.... although I guess it could have been swords or something
Corey says: I'm not playing the game anymore
Corey says: I have music going now
Flami says: so why do I hear what sounds like people talking?
Corey says: uh, Oderus was just talking
Flami says: now what the heck is THAT?!
Corey says: Oderus singing about pee and sperm :P
Corey sends:

cancel(Alt+Q)
Flami says: oh dear
Flami says: I think I have that one already
Corey says: no you don't :P I got that CD in the mail when Jane was here
Corey says: it's from You're All Worthless & Weak
Flami says: I have 2 songs with that title on the DVD thing, but okay :P
Corey says: sure, you have that song.. but not Oderus going off about pee and sperm between songs :P it's a live album
Flami says: haha, okay
Corey says: that stuff is one of the best things about GWAR shows / live recordings

You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\leslie\My Documents\My Received Files\07 - I'm In Love With A Dead Dog.mp3 from Corey.

Flami says: got it
Corey says: well, now you can listen to it then :P
Flami says: I should probably close the Netmeeting thing..
Flami says: heaven knows what's going on
Corey says: you can close it if we don't need to do anything else (probably not) and you don't want me watching your screen :P
Corey says: then you can go to [site deleted] or whatever without me seeing
Flami says: COREY! is that even a real site?
Corey says: probably
Corey says: try it :P
Flami says: no, I don't want it in my drop-down site in Firefox!
Corey says: you can delete history, you know
Corey says: Firefox makes it pretty easy, actually :P
Corey says: it'll clear the dropdowns, too
Flami says: it just did
Corey says: Ctrl+Shift+Del and you get a menu with options for that kind of thing
Flami says: oh
Corey says: or Tools -> Clear Private Data
Corey says: so then when you're done at [site deleted], you can just clear that stuff Flami says:
Corey says: why don't you make that into an icon instead of linking to it?
Corey says: MSN does custom icons, you know
Flami says: yeah, I know
Corey says: so make 'em :P
Corey says:
just put ( ) or something around the text string you use for it
Corey says: some people would just use "yuck"... so every time they type the word "yuck," you get the icon instead of the word.. and that is really f**king annoying
Flami says: eh, maybe later...
Flami says: OH YEAH! What's with the System Configuration window?
Corey says: what about it?
Corey says: the one I had open? you can close it.. I was looking at your RAM
Flami says: "You have used this to make changes to the way Windows starts, blah blah blah"
Corey says: I didn't change anything in System
Corey says: I did with MSconfig before you reset it...
Corey says: just tell it that it's okay and not to ask.. maybe it's from that. I didn't notice that when I was on there though
Flami: my sister's a gelatinous cube! says: okay