Eric and relaxation, Dane Cook, poem on proofreading, lady / gentleman, designer sunglasses, hearts

Dane Cook on Wikiquote

Hmm... it seems Eric has issues with my definition of "being relaxed" since he told me just now that I was never relaxed on a certain car ride last Friday. Just because I was laughing all the time at random things doesn't mean I'm not relaxed, dude! :P

Although it is true that he gave me tips on how to relax, such as breathing slowly through my nose... I'm not sure I took any of those into consideration. Oh well, being very easily amused is a family trait he should know about by NOW since he's known us for so long! :D

Someone pointed me to a Taylor Mali poem about proofreading. Hahaha, I love this! Eric thinks it's a tad inappropriate (and I can see why!), and informs me that his Messenger has spellchecker: if he types something incorrectly, it'll be underlined red for him. That doesn't sound too bad, then!

Source here.

The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali
Taylor Mali

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word's liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that's all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn't be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can't can't catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won't put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You're the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I'm not joking, I'm totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

You Are 52% Lady

You're part lady, part modern woman. Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.

Are You A Lady?

You Are 64% Gentleman

You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners. Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices!

Are You A Gentleman?

Your Designer Sunglasses Are

Burberry

What Designer Sunglasses Should You Be Wearing?

You scored as Blue. Your heart is blue. You are a very calm and relaxed person. You are very caring and like helping others. You're grateful for what you have in life, even if it's not perfect. People love you for who you are... don't ever change that - it's what makes you the great person that you are. Blue 75% Purple 57% Pink 57% Yellow 50% Black 46% Red 43% Green 43% White 32% Orange 14% ~What colour is your heart?~ created with QuizFarm.com