The high school clique I belong to, being from Canada, being Chinese, addictions
I was going through various commenting extravaganzas and posting all the "addictions" and "living" Blogthings, among other items. Some of them may apply to me, so I'm posting them here too. :P
That reminds me of this post, hahaha. Actually, the two are very similar.
You Know You're Chinese When.... |
You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. You eat all meals in the kitchen. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. You always leave your shoes at the door. You have a piano in your living room. You twirl your pen around your fingers. Even if you're totally full... if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. You've eaten a red bean Popsicle. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save / steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's. Ditto for paper napkins. You never order room service. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef / pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID). Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, or law. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood. You don't use measuring cups. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax. You beat eggs with chopsticks. Your parents' house is always cold. You have a teacup with a cover on it. You reuse teabags. Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club. You tip Chinese delivery guys / waiters more. You're a wok user. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon. You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh. You never call your parents just to say hi. You always cook too much. If you don't live at home, when your parents call... they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air. Your parents never go to the movies. Your parents send money to their relatives in China. You use a face cloth. Your parents use a clothesline. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi. You've joined a CD club at least once. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics. You never discuss your love life with your parents. Your parents are never happy with your grades. You keep most of your money in a savings account. You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. You love Chinese Martial Arts films. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you. You love to go to $1.75 movies. You love to go to $1.50 movies even more. You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant. You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch. Someone in your family drives a Honda... with custom rims. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror. You like to eat chicken feet. You suck on fish heads and fish fins. You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer. You can get a buzz on Coors, O'Douls, or Miller Sharps. You look like you are eighteen. You only buy used cars. You have more than five remotes in your house. You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more. You can't bear to throw things away. Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade. Your parents (or some other close relative) own a grocery store or restaurant. You drive around looking for the cheapest gas. You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate. You've never seen your parents hug. Your grandmother lives with you and your family. You never order desserts at restaurants. You always have water when dining out. You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack. You love to play mah jong. You have to read all your parents' mail written in English. You are constantly being set up with uninteresting (and usually ugly) people by your parents. You hate eating cheese. You have a big aquarium filled with colorful fish somewhere in your house. Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants. White people look at you strangely if you tell them you are Buddhist. You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food. You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child. Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings. You never made the school football or basketball team. You have two middle initials instead of one. You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen. Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas. You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time. You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions. You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives. You cut your own hair or had someone in your family do it. Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth, especially in front. You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times. You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means. You only have to shave every other day (maybe). You wash and reuse Ziploc bags. You know at least three people named Alan Wong. You never drank milk after eating cherries. Your parents collect jade jewelry. You always drink tea after a meal. Your dad owns at least one bird. Your parents grow vegetables in a garden. You use doilies to decorate your furniture. Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers. You're proud to be Chinese - and you pass these jokes on to all your Chinese friends! |
That reminds me of this post, hahaha. Actually, the two are very similar.
 | You scored as Punk. Okay!
What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To? created with QuizFarm.com |
You Know You're From Canada When... |
You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk." You understand "Could you pass me a serviette? I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You brag to Americans that Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, and many more are Canadians. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian! You know what a toque is. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed," not "Zee." You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." You perk up when you hear the theme song from Hockey Night in Canada. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than "Huh?" Winter. Whenever you want it. And then some. There's German food, Italian food, Chinese food, Armenian food, and American food... but NO Canadian food. You call a "mouse" a "moose." You like the Americans a little because they don't want Quebec either. Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize. Everything is labelled in English and French. Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. Mountain Dew has no caffeine. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Canada. |
You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When... |
You haven't slept since the Clinton Administration. Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth. Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin. You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso." On the way to work, you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car. You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers. You wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!" When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen. You drink so much coffee, it starts shooting out your ears. You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night. You think sleep is for the weak. You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend." You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable. You know from experience that caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola. You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT. You can name five flavors of JOLT. You have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter. You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma. Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of. You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign. You have tattooed "JOLT" and "COLA" across the knuckles of your hands. Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia. You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee. Your coffee pot is next to your bed, and your alarm clock is in the kitchen. You've ever hit an airplane's call button just to get a coffee refill. You've knelt and prayed before a Starbucks logo. Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme. You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent. The dishes in your house are all coffee cups. You see nothing wrong with using water Joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your No-Doz. You believe that sleep is simply a poor substitute for sleep. It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee. You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep. You'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning. You've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine. You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee. You dip espresso beans. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to caffeine. |
You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When... |
You can jump start your car without cables. You answer the door before people knock. You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked. You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week. Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze. You grind coffee beans in your mouth. You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. You sleep with your eyes open. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. Instant coffee takes too long to make. You channel surf faster without the remote. You don't sweat... you percolate. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. You short out motion detectors. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake! You've worn the finish off your coffee table. All your kids are named Joe. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. People get dizzy just watching you. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. When someone asks "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop." You buy milk by the barrel. You can outlast the Energizer bunny. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. You can't even remember your second cup. You chew on other people's fingernails. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. You don't get mad, you get steamed. You don't need a hammer to pound in nails. You don't tan, you roast. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You help your dog chase its tail. You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. You lick your coffeepot clean. You name your cats Cream and Sugar. You ski uphill. You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson. You speed-walk in your sleep. You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House. You think being called a drip is a compliment. You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation. You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup. Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyd's of London. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low. Your taste buds are so numb; you could drink your lava lamp. Your Thermos is on wheels. You're so wired, you pick up AM radio. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug. You take your morning coffee with you in the shower. Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to coffee. |
You Know You're Addicted to Internet When... |
You kiss your girlfriend's home page. Your bookmarks list takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a website burned into them. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to Google. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap.... and your kid in the overhead compartment. Your dreams are in HTML. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor. You turn your computer off and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug off your loved one. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au." Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address printed on the TV, even though you've never had heart problems before. You step out of the room and realize that your roommates have moved, and you don't have any idea when it happened. You turn up the volume really loud when leaving the room so you can hear if anyone IMs you. You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like. Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice that you've been to all of them. Your dog has its own webpage. You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" LCD Flat-Panel Monitor. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. You code your homework in HTML, and give your instructor the URL. You don't know what sex your three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral screennames and you never bothered to ask. You name your children Google, Friendster, and Blogger. You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest MP3's off Kazaa Lite. You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms. You wake up at 3 AM to go to the bathroom, and stop and check your email on the way back. Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth. You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed." The last hottie you picked up was only a jpeg. You put a pillowcase over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while you're pretending to catch your breath. You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet. You forget what year it is. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. You ask a doctor to implant a terabyte in your brain. Your sweetie says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and network them together so that you can IM each other anytime. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button. All of your friends have an @ in their names. You start using smileys in your snail mail. You bring a bag lunch to the computer. You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours. You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling. You type faster than you think. You double click your TV remote. You can now type over 70 WPM. You check your email and forget you have real mail. You go into withdrawals during dinner. You rank your friends by the amount of bandwidth they have. You have "Googled" all your friends to try to find out anything interesting that they are not telling you and you can use against them later. You message someone via IM when they are less than 20 feet away. The sound of the keys clicking turns you on. You have more browsers than friends in the real world. You actually say I-M-O and A-T-M to real friends rather than "in my opinion" and "at the moment." And they give you strange looks. You run four chat programs all at once... Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, AIM, and MSN. You sign off, and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the bloodshot eyes. The letters have come off your keyboard from excessive use. You order pizza online - because you can't be bothered to call. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said. You look at an annoying person offline, and wish that you had your ignore button handy. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ** kisses**. You're on the phone and say BRB. The last movie you've seen was on your Quicktime player. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to the internet. |
You Know You're Addicted to Video Games When... |
Your wife tells you that you are, and your two kids (Mario and Sonic) agree with her. Whenever something bad happens, you reach for the pause button. You can microwave and eat a pizza pop using only your feet. You've spent so much time playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 that you actually taught yourself how to skateboard. You've worn out the buttons in the elevator of your apartment. The only joystick you play with anymore is plugged in to your Xbox. You've decided you won't go outside anymore due to the "tacky graphics, poor sound, and low playability." You've moved your PS2 into the bathroom -- just in case you make it to the next level on Vice City. Your hands are so gnarled from gripping the controller, you can't even tie your shoes. You ask your doctor how many lives you have left. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to video games. |
Labels: blogthings, caffeine, canada, chinese, coffee, coinage, computer, dreams, games, google, holidays, internet, kids, maxed-out tags limit, quiz farm, snow, surveys, tony, twins, videos
posted by Flami at 10:42:00 PM
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