Latrina, Lexine, Lolita, and Lulu

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.

L

Laalaa: One of the four colorful Teletubbies - we're not sure which one. Name a child this, turn on daytime TV, and you'll know soon enough.

LaBerta: In French, the feminine for Bert. Or so her parents would like to think...

LaDoya: One of the original Jackson 6. After sprinkling itchy powder into her brother Michael's pants, she was quickly relegated to wardrobe consultant. She is currently employed by her sister, Janet.

Lady: Give a girl a touch of class! No need to marry a lord - this girl's a real powerhouse in her own right. Also, a popular name for female water dogs.

LaFawnduh: The answer an angry Frenchman might give when asked a silly question about the gender of a deer. Also, someone who might work as a political intern in the White House and engage in an extramarital affair.

Lakeesha: A lightly crusted egg dish that real Frenchmen don't eat.

LaPhyllis: A French female comedian known for her rapid-fire stand-up routines and outlandish hair.

Larissa: Russian diminutive of Lara. Suggests a beautiful, tiny woman with big eyes who could drive a troika in a blizzard while being chased by wolves.

Latrina: Why not just name a daughter Toilet and be done? Concerned in-laws should call child protective services now.

Launa: Spanish or Italian derivative for "The One." Also, the name of a pop hit by a second-generation Latin heartthrob.

Lawn: A light cotton fabric, often dyed in pale colors. Also, that vast expanse of green (or brown) outside your window.

Lexine: Material used to make the little envelopes that contain stamps in post office vending machines.

Lillian: Your grandmother's mahjong partner.

Loki: Norse god of mischief or trickery. Phlegm.

Lolita: Variant of Lola. Also, the subject of Vladimir Nabokov's novel of obsession. Are you ready to name your sweet baby daughter after a nymphet who first evoked the phrase "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins" there?

Lonica: Girl of a thousand faces. Also, an off-brand supplier of office equipment.

Lovee: Though trapped on a desert island with six others, she never lost her sense of privileged superiority through the hardship!

Lucinda / Lucy / Lucia: Will steal the football away from tenderhearted, round-headed boys. May inspire the creation of a He-Man Woman Hater's club.

Lucretia (loo-KREE-sha) - The excretion of fluids caused by watching live-action remakes of classic Dr. Seuss stories.

Lulu: Variant of Louisa. Also, variation of "doozy" in old '30s movies that included the madcap heiress and the hard-boiled newspaperman as their stock characters.

Luny: An insane bird known for its less-than-graceful flight.