She has all your clothes?! Man!

Eating my Activa strawberry-kiwi-cereal yogurt for breakfast... it's actually not too bad! Got up over half an hour BEFORE my alarm since it was too sunny outside - yuck. Oh well, gives me more time to just BE.

Facebook quiz taken from Michael:

Leslie took the quiz Which Greek God Are you? You are Hera, the goddess of marriage and wife of Zeus. Relationships are sacred to you, and therefore, you may be jealous at times. If you do get hurt, you take revenge. (HA, PERFECT! This is what someone never understood!)

These are from my copy of America's Dumbest Dates: Over 500 Tales of Fumbled Flirtations.

Giving and Receiving

"Hank bought me Godiva chocolates. I almost killed him. He's so insensitive. He knows that I'll eat them and blow my diet." - Brenda, age 22.

"Money's a language. If she lets you pay, it means she's submitting, letting you dominate. She's attracted to you, saying you wear the pants. If she insists on paying, she's either not attracted or doesn't want you to know that she is." - Mike, age 30.

"His shoes must have cost at least two months' rent, and he drove a Ferrari. When the bill for our dinner came, I wanted to be polite, so I offered to share. I was sure he'd say "No way. It's on me." But he said, "Fine," and put away his corporate credit card. I was trapped. What could I say, that I didn't really MEAN it, that it was just FORM, a matter of social correctness? The bill was $226. PLUS the tip." - Laurie, age 26.

"He brought his buddy on the date with him, and in the ticket line, he explained that he was paying for his friend's ticket and popcorn because his friend was saving for a summer trip to Europe, but that I'd have to pay for their own. I didn't mind paying my own way, but I did mind being the third wheel on THEIR date." - Kathy, age 23.

"We passed a gallery. Paul dropped in and bought a $4000 painting. We passed a men's store. He stopped in and got himself a $500 sweater. It never occurred to him to buy me so much as a stick of gum." - Wendy, age 35.

"I met Ned through the personal ads. He said he favored "equality between the sexes." Actually, he just wanted women to pay their own way." - Evelyn, age 34.

"How cheap was he? He didn't want to pay for a parking lot, so he parked on the street. And, guess what, he got a parking ticket. Stan cursed and said no way was he going to pay it. Then he put it on the windshield of the car parked behind his. I reminded him that the ticket had his license plate number on it. He said, "Yeah, but you never know - nobody reads parking tickets. The guy might just pay it." " - Nancy, age 23.

"When the check came, he asked me for $22.50. I said, "What?" He said, "That's half. Want to check my addition?" I had only a ten on me; I'd had no idea he'd want me to pay. When I told him, he offered to walk me to an ATM." - Sally, age 31.

"He let me pay for the second round of drinks. He wanted to rent tapes and let me pay for both of them. He bought us a medium soda and a popcorn to SHARE. He invited himself to my studio apartment to watch them; his place was too "messy." And then, he fell asleep watching the movie and I couldn't wake him up, I ended up trying to sleep on the floor while he snored happily all night on my bed." - Claire, age 23.

"For Valentine's Day, he gave me crotchless red lace underpants." - Molly, age 24.

"As soon as he came in, Dennis had to make a phone call. He used my phone for about twenty minutes. I figured he had to call his office. When I got the bill, I realized he'd been calling all over the country - New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado. If he'd had more time, he'd probably have called Japan." - Joie, age 33.

"Michael was careful with his money. He never wasted a dime: he figured the tip to a penny, and comparison-shopped for groceries. He'd go to three different markets to save a quarter on milk. And when he took me out to dinner, it was always to a place that offered two-fers. He paid for Valentine's Day dinner with coupons." - Betsy, age 23.

"I'd been dating Samantha for about six months. I paid for all our dates. I brought her flowers and bought her earrings when we'd been going out for a month, a necklace for her birthday. I brought her souvenirs whenever I went out of town. For my thirtieth birthday, she gave me an umbrella. An UMBRELLA." - Richard, age 30.

"Antoinette borrows my sweaters, shirts, sweatpants, and... poof! They're hers. She takes my socks and my jockeys, then keeps them. I have no clothes anymore." - Terryl, age 38.

"For her birthday, I gave her a blank check. I thought it would show her that I trusted her, but that I was generous. I thought she'd spend about $25. She spent over $400 - on jewelry. I guess I should be grateful; she could have bought the store." - Al, age 37.

"Everett asked me on a cruise and I thought it was quite romantic - until he explained the policy of ships basing their rates on double occupancy. He said that going alone would cost almost as much as taking me, so I might as well come along. He wanted to get his money's worth. I made sure I did." - Emma, age 63.

"Herb brought me a home-grown tomato. One." - Cynthia, age 28.

"In all the time I went with him, Lou never had cash. He borrowed from me for popcorn, movie tickets, parking, a newspaper, a candy bar, a beer. On my birthday, he took me to a flower shop and told me to pick out a corsage. The florist pinned it on and gave Lou the till. You guessed it. He offered me coffee, then asked me to pay. And he never paid me back. Leaving parking lots after a movie, he'd say: "You gotta ten? I'll give it to you next time." After a few months, I couldn't AFFORD a next time." - Rachel, age 23.

"She earns 30 percent more than I do and thinks that embarrasses me, so she figures out the cost of our dates and insists on paying 30 percent more. THAT embarrasses me." - Tim, age 32.

"The day after our date, Cheryl called to thank me for the flowers. Except I hadn't sent her any. And no, I didn't tell her that." - Dick, age 23.

"Frank argued with the parking-lot attendant that we'd been in the lot for only an hour and fifty-three minutes, not two hours. He accused them of rigging their meter. He demanded to see the manager and spent almost an hour fighting over seventy-five cents." - Hilda, age 48.

"We were gambling, playing blackjack. I kept winning, but my pile of chips kept getting smaller. Finally, I realized that Bob had lost all of his chips and was using - and losing - mine. He said I had no right to complain; he'd staked me my first twenty dollars." - Anita, age 49.

"For Christmas, Al gave me a picture of himself, framed. Like he thought that I'd really want THAT." - Paige, age 25.

"The car was towed while we were at dinner. I had to listen to her say that she told me not to park there. I had to take her home in a cab, then take a cab to the impound, and pay to get my car back. Altogether, with the dinner / cab / impound / towing, the evening cost over $300. She offered to pitch in, and I accepted her offer. She handed me $10. Ten dollars. She thought she was doing a good thing, especially since she told me not to park there." - Hal, age 30.

"I offered to pay half. He included not just the cost of pizza, drinks, and the movie, but half the parking, half the tip, and a portion of the gas. At the end of the evening, he told me how much I owed him, and offered to itemize everything if I had a question." - Amy, age 23.

"For my birthday, he gave me a bathmat and toilet cover. What would he give me if we got serious? A whole bathroom set, complete with shower curtain and towels?" - Jade, age 30.

"For my birthday, Bess gave me two tickets to a hockey game. For Christmas, she gave me gift certificates for two drinks at a pub and two dinners at an Italian place. Everything she ever gave me was basically for herself, a ploy not just to get me to take her out again, but to choose where we'd go." - Paul, age 28.

"Bill sent me cards with kisses and hugs from a secret admirer. Flowers, gifts. Of course, I thought they were from my old boyfriend and I went back with him, thinking he'd begun to appreciate me. By the time I found out Bill had sent the stuff, I was engaged to Frank." - Debbie, age 30.

"She offered to pay for the parking garage. Now, in her purse, she carries enough stuff to survive a nuclear war for six months. Not just money, credit cards, and keys. I'm talking about a Swiss army knife, a first-aid kit, granola bars, gum, Mace, toothpaste, toothbrush, mini-bottles of vodka and Scotch, antibacterial wipes, fresh underwear, decks of cards, a camera, a diary, condoms, makeup. And that's just what I REMEMBER. I had a lot of time to study it all while she searched for our parking stub." - Howard, age 35.

"For our six-month anniversary, he bought me a squirt gun. A squirt gun? Trust me, it got some use that night." - Jessica, age 24.

"I bought her a candy apple. She took a big bite and when she took the apple out of her mouth, her teeth came with it. Her bridge came loose, stuck to the taffy." - Warren, age 34.

"For Christmas, she gave me this horrible sweater with bears and pine trees on it. I returned it. Now she wants to know why I never wear it." - Ted, age 29.

"Hannah bought me really vile aftershave. She insists that I wear it, says it turns her on. That being the case, I go around smelling vile. It's worth it." - Miles, age 27.

"She gave me an awful, itchy patterned sweater. Just awful. So I took it back to Nordstrom's to exchange it. The clerk sneered and assured me that the sweater did not come from any Nordstrom's store. She must have bought it at some discount store and stuck it in a fancy box. Like what, the box makes the sweater less tacky? Like I'd like it if it cost a lot?" - Arnie, age 25.

"For my birthday, she gave me a goldfish. One." - Randolph, age 32.

"Joel gave me a gift certificate for 24 hours as a sex slave. No expiration date. We broke up about a year ago, but I'm hanging on to it. You never know. I may need to redeem it sometime." - Camille, age 21.

"Ida never gave anything but practical gifts. In the year I dated her, she gave me a teapot, a new pillow, a heating pad, and a grocery cart. I still use every single one of them, and they all remind me of her." - Dmitri, age 57.

"He told me that he gives all his dates the same cologne. He said it was amazing how it smells a little different on each of us. And he sniffed me to make sure I was wearing it." - Gladys, age 52.

"For my birthday, she gave me a box of decorator condoms. I didn't know what to say. Thank you? I'll enjoy them? They'll make me think of you? What?" - Jason, age 37.

"The only thing Paul ever gave me was his opinion. He was really generous with that. Gave more than you could ever use, want, or bear to listen to." - Phoebe, age 23.