Yes, Mom... I'm cheating on my boyfriend with another GIRL....
Mom sent me an email earlier today, but I didn't get it till now since I was hanging around with Billie. Great Pho, talk about people, and laughing over strange things... good times! So I get on the phone with Mom to tell her that I can't make it to the townhouse tomorrow - something about Shaw technicians and Grandma being too afraid to open the door to a stranger. Can't - got plans with Billie AND David! This is the conversation that follows:
Me: Hi, Mom! I just got your email ten minutes ago!
Mom: Huh?! Why did you just get it now?
Me: Oh, I was hanging around with my friend!
Mom: Who is this friend?
Me: Billie. [because Mom would NOT get her Persian name - TRUST ME ON THIS!]
Mom: ... a GUY?! Do you have another boyfriend? [because what I *obviously* do in my spare time is cheat on people with GIRLS since I've discovered I'm bi... and THAT discovery's happened in the past 24 hours or so!]
Me: No, Mom. She is a GIRL. [y'know... like Billie Holiday]
Mom: Oh. Where did you meet her? Online?
Me: Yes...
Mom: ... is she in a GANG?! {very concerned maternal voice}
Me: ... NO, Mom. She's NOT that kind of person! [thinking, "I'm sure there are Persian gangster triads around, but I've never heard of one... but of course Mom would think that since EVERYONE online MUST be in a gang. Therefore, I myself must be leading a secret double life!"]
Mom: Okay... *very dubious* What are you doing?
Me: Just hanging around. I was calling to say I can't make it tomorrow since we don't know what's happening because she's sleeping over.
Mom: ... does she have a FAMILY?!
Me: ... um, yes. Her mother just called her. [I omit that her mom called her 12 times in a row...]
Mom: Oh, okay. But why is she sleeping over?
Me: Because I slept over at her place before, and I'm just returning the favor. [not to mention it would be a bit mean to kick her out at 10 to transit all the way back three zones to Coquitlam!]
Mom: Well... okay. Bye now!
Me: Bye...
Time to update our respective Facebook statuses, hahaha. :D
Me: Hi, Mom! I just got your email ten minutes ago!
Mom: Huh?! Why did you just get it now?
Me: Oh, I was hanging around with my friend!
Mom: Who is this friend?
Me: Billie. [because Mom would NOT get her Persian name - TRUST ME ON THIS!]
Mom: ... a GUY?! Do you have another boyfriend? [because what I *obviously* do in my spare time is cheat on people with GIRLS since I've discovered I'm bi... and THAT discovery's happened in the past 24 hours or so!]
Me: No, Mom. She is a GIRL. [y'know... like Billie Holiday]
Mom: Oh. Where did you meet her? Online?
Me: Yes...
Mom: ... is she in a GANG?! {very concerned maternal voice}
Me: ... NO, Mom. She's NOT that kind of person! [thinking, "I'm sure there are Persian gangster triads around, but I've never heard of one... but of course Mom would think that since EVERYONE online MUST be in a gang. Therefore, I myself must be leading a secret double life!"]
Mom: Okay... *very dubious* What are you doing?
Me: Just hanging around. I was calling to say I can't make it tomorrow since we don't know what's happening because she's sleeping over.
Mom: ... does she have a FAMILY?!
Me: ... um, yes. Her mother just called her. [I omit that her mom called her 12 times in a row...]
Mom: Oh, okay. But why is she sleeping over?
Me: Because I slept over at her place before, and I'm just returning the favor. [not to mention it would be a bit mean to kick her out at 10 to transit all the way back three zones to Coquitlam!]
Mom: Well... okay. Bye now!
Me: Bye...
Time to update our respective Facebook statuses, hahaha. :D
Labels: amusement, billie, david, emails, facebook, family, gj, grandma, korey, mom, online people, pho, phone calls, plans, sleep, visitors, weird stuff
posted by Flami at 10:16:00 PM
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