Things To Ponder
From my mother (who thought I'd like the wordplay), via Pastor Fulton (who accidentally signed up for a Hi5 account)'s Google home page:
Corn oil is made from corn, and olive oil is made from olives... so what does baby oil come from?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
How come Superman can stop bullets with his chest, but he always ducks when someone throws a gun at him?
How come the idiot is always in charge?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
How does the snow plow driver get to work?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
If you're an atheist and swear on the Bible, have you committed perjury?
Isn't Big Kid an oxymoron?
Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
What does nothing look like?
Who really took the bite out of the Apple logo?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy, opposites?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are they called apartments when they are stuck together?
Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?
Why do bananas grow upward and all other fruits grow downward?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved, can it?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we sing “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” if we are already there?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?
Why does the Indiana driver's license include in its list of possible restrictions "B" for "Blind"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't more psychics win the lottery?
Why in a country with freedom of speech are there phone bills?
Why is a blacklight not black?
Why is a keyboard called a keyboard if it just has little buttons?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is an orange an orange, but an apple not a red?
Why is Greenland white?
Why is it called a building when it's already built?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why is it that a person will believe you when you tell them that there are six billion stars in the sky? But if you tell him a bench is wet, he has to touch it?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment... but when you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss? Shouldn't it be called a near hit?
Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
Why is there only ONE monopolies commission?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Corn oil is made from corn, and olive oil is made from olives... so what does baby oil come from?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
How come Superman can stop bullets with his chest, but he always ducks when someone throws a gun at him?
How come the idiot is always in charge?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
How does the snow plow driver get to work?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
If you're an atheist and swear on the Bible, have you committed perjury?
Isn't Big Kid an oxymoron?
Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
What does nothing look like?
Who really took the bite out of the Apple logo?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy, opposites?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are they called apartments when they are stuck together?
Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?
Why do bananas grow upward and all other fruits grow downward?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved, can it?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we sing “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” if we are already there?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?
Why does the Indiana driver's license include in its list of possible restrictions "B" for "Blind"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't more psychics win the lottery?
Why in a country with freedom of speech are there phone bills?
Why is a blacklight not black?
Why is a keyboard called a keyboard if it just has little buttons?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is an orange an orange, but an apple not a red?
Why is Greenland white?
Why is it called a building when it's already built?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why is it that a person will believe you when you tell them that there are six billion stars in the sky? But if you tell him a bench is wet, he has to touch it?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment... but when you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss? Shouldn't it be called a near hit?
Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
Why is there only ONE monopolies commission?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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posted by Flami at 3:34:00 PM
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