This is what we look like, saith the Google...

Why do people think that it's a good time to do hammering work outside AND inside the building NOW?! I hope I get back to sleep...

Got this from Erin, via Myspace bulletin... Google the phrase "(Your name) looks like" and find the best one from the first page of results. Don't forget to put it in quotation marks, otherwise it won't work. Add yours to the bottom of the list and repost this.

1. "Jason looks like total crap." -- thanks, Google, thanks.

2. "PJ looks like he'd be down to whoop some ass anytime" -- I think that Google is scared of me.

3. "Katie looks like recycled cat food" Ouch!

4. "Michael looks like he's playing naked" (OMG, do they like have a camera inside the screen or what?!!!!!! Who knew??)

5. And now, thanks to your beautiful post, I even know what Charlotte looks like: gorgeous!

6. Tracy looks like a beautiful weekend for a drunk sail(or)

7. "JP looks like the last five minutes of a porno flick -- one big blur." (what's up with that?!?!?!)

8. "Kiana looks like she's about to cry when she starts taking it up the dumper from this knuckle dragger. ..."

9. Shona - apparently Shona doesn't look like anything.... 'Google has no matching articles to these specifications' Hehehehehehe

10. "Alice looks like roadkill"..... gee, no wonder I can't get a date on Friday nights!

11. "Julie looks like a naughty librarian when she wears her glasses."

12. "Mike looks like a normal person, until he takes his shirt off." it was either that or "Mike looks like shit thrown off a balcony." I am still not sure if chose wisely!

13. "Gregory looks like most of the German Dragons that I have purchased."

14. "Nathan looks like a piece of cracker to me" (racists)

15. "Brian looks like a sexless sweetie who attracts teeny boppers..." (I laughed and then I cried)

16. "Ali looks like a dancer: petite and poised, sitting cross-legged on a chair in her white kitchen" (I personally like this one, but I guess the best one would be...) "Ali looks like a movie that was never properly prepared and mounted, that got away from its makers in the filming"

17. "Chris looks like an old woman in that hat." I'm a sexy grandma.

18. "Elysa looks like she's preparing to moon the camera."

19. "Nate looks like some bum that just crawled off his couch to snowboard, stringy hair, gruff face (as before), and clothes that resembles Mac's wardrobe from ..." HAHAHAHA

20. "Janelle looks like you would buy her in a transvestite sex-toy shop."

21. Chris looks like he's furious, like there's a hundred things he wants to say. He settles for "What the holy fuck is going on in your head."

22. "Mike looks like shit thrown off a balcony." Nice, very nice.

23. "Lisa looks like the average American - overweight," or my personal favorite, "Lisa looks like she just got done taking a really bad dump."

24. Mason looks like an attractive value play.

25. Veronica looks like she's going to kill someone (haha, mine's almost kinda cool)

26. "Kristy looks like one of those '80s music video mad scientists."

27. "Sammy looks like the turd I just hung.." LOL

28. "Alex looks like he's looking at porno pictures for the first time!"

29. "Amanda looks like she just got off the boat" Haha, that's right!

30. "Connie looks like another star in the making and gave a great performance despite all the obstacles."

31. Kris looks like he's been working out coz he's big!

32. I can't decide between "Erin looks like she's a Barbie doll, college girl / Hooters waitress." and "Erin looks like she just escaped from the mental hospital, for God's sake. Scary."

33. "Samantha looks like a young 'un, but she is 17 and has kidney disease." Funny thing is, I am 17, but they're talking about a cat! O.O

34. "Simone looks like a model for Revlon."

35. "Louisa looks like she was rather gruesomely preserved in the airless atmosphere of a perfectly irreproachable existence." ----> if I had a quarter for every time I heard that ;D haha

36. I'm having trouble deciding between "Emma looks like a gothed-out Olsen twin at first glance." or "Emma looks like she is on crack or marijuana." gee thanks.

37. "Rachel looks like a fluffy pink cupcake." WTF??!!

38. I can't decide between "Tricia looks like a muppet" or "Tricia looks like she's going to an 80s prom or something" hahaha

39. "Shanna looks like hot buttered ass, but when she's all done up, that woman really is stunning." <--wow, looks like Google found Bouche or Elliot's blog.

40. "Dustin looks like he would have been a great actor, life is cruel."

41. "Christina looks like a real bitch." That's only because I'm sleeping with your boyfriend!

42. "Gina looks like a town tramp." HAHA

43. "Kali looks like a little whore!" Haha.

44. "Kacy looks like a young Brooke Shields." RIGHT.... hmmm :)

45. "Miranda looks like a professional." ...downright hilarious!! Interesting!

46. "Jeff looks like a lost extra from a late sixties bikers-trash-California B film whose Harley has somewhere in the time warp transmutated into an open top Ford Escort." Words are not enough...

47. "In the light of all this... Tanya looks like a saint." - oh yeah, right on ;)

48. "Andrea looks like she's in the midst of a paroxysm of laughter! ... Apart from the fact that Andrea looks like she's imitating a fish..." :)

49. "Jessica looks like... a dog." Oh, this is nice. Is there another one? ... Aw crap, they all suck. Damn Google!

50. "Krystle looks like a giant next to you." You know, mine weren't too bad at all ;) That was the worst one. The rest were nice.

51. I had to use John instead of Klark. Nothing existed for Klark. "John looks like a sweet ride" :)

52. "Peggy looks like something made of candy"

53. "EARL LOOKS LIKE his idea of a good time is getting arrested"

54. "Kelli looks like I want you to feel good!"

55. "Dyanna looks like she's high and claims that she and Christina met at the AVN Awards and have wanted to screw ever since." I'm going to assume it's talking about Dyanna Lauren (porn star).

56. Wolfe ~ With his curly beard and gleaming teeth, Mr. Wolfe looks like the werewolf in one of Marvin's favorite comics. What is going on at Mr. Wolfe's creepy house? ...

57. "Shar looks like she's gonna bust out of that corset!"

58. "Ryan looks like he just popped some speed."

59. "Amber looks like Monica Lewinsky, only less attractive." Oh whatever, Google.

60. Sherrill looks like a keeper.

61. Michelle looks like she's about to slap a bitch DOWN.

62. Ally looks like a moose, but a very cute moose. Must be the antlers...

63. "Allison looks like a younger Stockard Channing." or "Allison looks like Stockard Channing and Lindsay Lohan collided and spawned." Had to get in on this ... WTH? Is that good or bad?

64. Kristen looks like a big PHAT slut. It didn't have anything with the shortened name I go by, so I used my full name.

65. "Cindy looks like she's plotting something." Who? Moi? Hehe.

66. "Erin looks like she's under water.. no?" or "Erin looks like a hot Velma"

67. "Marguerite looks like a motor cruiser." Clicked on the link outta curiosity, and it linked to Gulf Star Motor Cruise Yacht. Okay, I know my hips are getting big, but I don't think they are the size of a yacht yet. :)

68. "Shannon looks like she is in a ice skating outfit..." or "Shannon looks like a fuckin monkey's ass! She is not hot at all!" or "I swear Shannon looks like a deer in the headlights." or "Shannon looks like a horse." or "Shannon looks like an easy date on a Saturday night."

69. .. haha, 69.. anyways... "Your hair looks good, Meggie poo" Aww... thanks, Google! [Ed. note: You weren't doing it correctly, WERE YOU? :P]

70. "Kathleen looks like an unkempt aged vagabond who tramps the roads carrying all her wordly possessions in a grubby tapestry bag." Geez, that's so sweet! "Kathy looks like she's got a naughty plan brewing." How well they know me. :)

71. "Cory looks like a young Vince Neil (of Mötley Crüe) and sure knows how to play a stoner." All right...

72. "Daniel Miller is here in London until Tuesday, so I have to blog for two, in L.A. in the 80s. She looks like Margaret Thatcher." -- Um... well I used to look like a girl, I think.

73. Ryan looks like he is fighting off a case of Down Syndrome. Ha ha, very funny!!!! It is not good when that is the first thing that comes up.

74. "Shae looks like a porn star or Civic headlights." Kind of the same thing in a way when you think about it.

75. This is as close as I could get... I guess my name doesn't really work... "Completely lost my chest and now I look like a man.... grants wishes to HUMBLE hearts. That's what Father Marchelles says." [Ed. note: Are you SURE about that not working for you?! You didn't do it properly from what I can see!]

76. Sara looks like an "East German swimmer."

77. Emelle looks like stumphunter guest book... yeah

78. Katie looks like recycled cat food... dear Lord. I think I'll take those pills now.

79. Leeann looks like she's gonna hurl at this point! ~ actually, I do feel kind of sick...

80. Jamie looks like the love child of Charlie Sheen and Kevin Federline. ~ Oh, so true... I am freakin' gorgeous!

81. Monae looks like the hottest girl alive... okay, so Google doesnt have my name in there, but that's what it SHOULD say! [Ed. note: Conceited much? :P]

82. Sarah looks like someone punched her in the mouth - dang it, everyone thinks I am ugly... I hate my life!!!

83. Nicole looks like your grandma!! -- hope yer grandma's hot!

84. Ben looks like he actually knows what he's doing - well, it's true and that's the worst part about it.

85. Lauren looks like she gained weight - sadness

86. Alex looks like the type of girl who would take you out into the forest and feed you mushrooms and then leave you to fend for yourself... - I'm not kidding, this is what I found.. haha

87. Lee looks like an old man trying to dress young again --- wow, I'm not THAT old... haha

88. Donny'e~ damn, nobody else has my gosh darn name...!!!! [Ed. note: That's coz it's not a real name! Too creative, and it sounds black, heh.]

89. Mitchell looks like the face of a suicide bomber getting ready to go out on a mission - his final mission.

90. Kristina looks like the Dalai Lama.

91. Kellie looks like a coked-out old bag who is trying to be 14, but she's more like 30. - Wow. Dead serious, this is what came up.

92. Brittany looks like a great pet rabbit, those ears are really unique...... this is so weird coz I have uniquely small ears and people tell me that all the time!! Haha.

93. Summer looks like sparkling blue water in the YMCA pool....... This is the best I got.

94. Tabitha looks "like a nurse, a scary nurse" .... hehe, that's what I am going to school for.

95. Lisa looks like my asshole..... YOU SUCK, Google!!! haha :)

96. Natalie - "The doll looks like she has emerged from an all-night Hollywood party and was caught in some lurid National Enquirer Photo without her makeup or sunglasses." [Ed. note: Is your name "The Doll"???]

97. Reverend Ryan - "Ryan looks like every woman's sexual desire somehow compressed into human form. Ryan looks like he would do himself, he is so hot." Which is pretty much true, so...

98. "Derek looks like he has a huge dick that he can't contain in his pants... wow, I must be pretty lucky, but true haha

99. Stephanie - hahaha!! Mine is GREAT - "I won't mention the fact that Stephanie looks like she's been ridden hard and put away wet."

100. Allison - "Allison looks like she's skiing in slow motion when she's fast and she's been searching for that feeling" ha, what?!

101. Nathan looks like a young Ted Kennedy without the bridge phobia.

102. "Matt looks like some He-man." How true, how true.

103. "Jackie looks like she could walk all over them with no problem at all" Wow, Google must really know me. (j/k)

104. "Emily looks like trouble, and remains a dangerous storm"

105. "Jordan looks like a troll........... I don't like him" Nice.

106. "Cortney looks like a beauty queen"

107. "Kevin looks like he's going to snap his bat in half"

108. "Kelly looks like a cross between Elvira and a saloon girl from the 1800's"

109. "Genny looks like rubbish beside that T-Naiija girl in terms of popularity, music, AND looks it's not even funny." To all that don't know who T-Naiija is... she is a singer, so basically Google thinks I suck!! Nice, Google.

110. "Jeremy looks like a sick toad" Thanks a lot.. haha

111. "Baby, Cori looks like she wants to get down!" It's funny cus it's true!! :)

112. "Abbey looks like the girl next door that you wanna screw."

113. "Amanda looks like something from Poltergeist." Nice.. I did get pretty wasted last night.

114. "Casey looks like a porn star at prom." Yeah, not sure what to say about that... haha.

115. "Shaun looks like a guy you wouldn't want to fuck with to begin with." and "Shaun looks like crap and like he hasn't slept in 2 weeks!" -- So I broke the rules and took two... what are you gonna do about it? That's right. You're just gonna sit there and suck. Yeah.

116. "Myah looks like she was made for other things." hmmmm

117. "And, true to form, Leila looks like she might be considering punching someone."

118. "I don't think Jessica looks like Brit at all!! She looks more like Faith Hill & Elle McPherson." Haha. You should see what pops up if you put "Jessica Rose".......

119. Okay, so there were some real winners for "Alissa looks like" (including a course of beef). I think this is the creepiest though: "Alissa looks like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and maybe the other girl is a vampire chick or something, and they need to fool around with enchanted dildos" - I feel violated and emotionally scarred after reading this. Is there some sort of tort action here maybe???

120. "Leslie looks like a desireable heroine" - hey, that works for me! :)

121. "Lindsay looks like a coke whore" -- which is 100% true

122. little wing... "Kristen looks like she's covered in green and brown poop." - mmmmm, yummmy

123. Stephen - "Steve looks like something half human, half plastic action figure, which I like to call a 'mandroid.' His pec implants look like small breasts and give him a tranny like look." This is too goood not to post, ha ha.

124. Elizabeth - "Elizabeth looks like a donut because she has been around for so long and is coated in sugar as a means of self-preservation." ....ha! :)

125. Sara - "Sara looks like her daddy, blond and has big blue green eyes."......... my dad looks like he's Mexican, but I'm blonde with blue green eyes!!!

126. Katie-Jane: "Katie-Jane looks like a werewolf caught in trees."

127. Becca: "Becca looks like a red Incredible Hulk."

128. Tiffany: "Tiffany looks like a toasted Miss Piggy on crack."

129. Rachael: Rachael looks like a homeless baby

130. Moose: Moose looks like a cool cat

131. "Dani looks like a stupid asshole in the move" or "Dani looks like this in see-through lingerie"

132. Daniel looks like he has to pee. Really badly.

133. Ashly looks like an amazing, fun teacher.

134. Lauren looks like she's flipping me off

135. Kaelin looks like she needs a hug.. haha, that made me laugh.

136. At least Jennifer looks like a woman and her breasts are real.

137. "You look like you're Caryl. That sounds great, like you're moving in the right direction!" and "It looks like you would have to be a "little person" to get with Caryl!" Grr. My name didnt work like everyone else's. =[ [Ed. note: You obviously weren't doing it properly, were you?!]

138. Thanks Greg, looks like you were doing it at work

139. "Josh looks like Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day" - josh whooo?

140. Mariah looks like a bull with long hair. - gee.. thanks

141. Gaby: Gabrielle looks like Pamela Anderson.

142. Bri: Briana looks like it came out of a ragbag. - wtf

143. Tori looks like a sweet southern sorority girl turned loose in a frat house. - ah ha ha ha ha.

144. Lindsey looks like a skeleton with blonde hair... (Damn you, Lindsay Lohan!)

145. Johnny looks like a cartoon gangster

146. "Carly looks like she will be a bitch judging from that picture." Hahaha, awesome!

147. Leva looks like a girl with a beard. - Go figure!

148. Jonathan looks like a man who has killed 12 people

149. Murray looks like many moms who push strollers around the zoo.

150. Kelly looks like a cross between Elvira and a saloon girl from the 1800's



151. Meghan looks like a flower

152. Angela looks like she might be hot!

153. But that Megan looks like a fiesty one! I wouldn't mess with her!! ...

154. "Bree looks like Ashlee Simpson, with her new hairdo"

155. "Justin looks like the Unabomber" --- THE FUCKIN' UNABOMBER, MAN!!!!! FUCK, YES!

156. "Kelly looks like she has a penis".... that's sooo not even coo;! haha

157. "Natosha is looking adorable like always!" WELL, THANKS!!

158. ;) Sarah does look like lady (WTF....... Haha. That's good to know.)

159. Larisa looks like she's in her late twenties, my daughter accused me of robbing the cradle.

160. Stephanie looks like a natural on her first climb ever.

161. Dave looks like an out-of-control eight-year-old.

162. Miriah looks like one of those twins in The Shining

163. Leah looks like that Muppet, you know, that Hippie Muppet?

164. Kyle looks like Bender from the Breakfast Club - Yes! In your face, Lance!

165. Elizabeth looks like she wants to fall through any opening in the floor she can find, even if it sends her to the circle of HELL!!!!

166. "Megan looks like she's full of fun and love." - ha ha, I'd like to think so ;)

167. "Aww, Clint looks like an innocent wittle bunny wabibitt caught in the headlights." - I don't know what this means, but it's pretty funny!

168. "Janet looks like she's about to do something very naughty with the sparkler" (hahahahahaha)

169. "Heather looks like a drag queen Michael Jackson impersonator."

170. "Rachel looks like fluffy pink cupcakes" - niiiice

171. "Alexis looks like Ciara." Hahaha... what the crap!

172. "Kendra looks like FLAVOR FLAV!" Hahaha... what the hell?

173. "Jessica looks like a tranny" Uhhhh.... do I?

174. "Mandy looks like a stripper in this one"

175. "Erin looks like she just escaped from the mental hospital, for God's sake."

176. "Leslie looks like she can really light up a dance floor with her hot moves." or "Leslie looks like a young girl trapped in a woman's body." or "By the way, Leslie looks like a father."