Jaguar, Jedi, Jethro, and Juhu

Computer just restarted when I was in the middle of editing stuff... and didn't give me the previous Firefox session. UGH!

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.

Jabari: A new safari-themed board game for the whole family!

Jack: A dashing polo player who is likely to have only one eye. Also, a popular name for donkeys.

Jackson: Boy child of a cheese maker in Monterey, California.

Jacob: A well-to-do ladder retailer.

Jaguar: Fast and incredibly handsome, but known to be very unreliable.

Jai (high) - The least fabulous of the Fab Five.

Jake: Perpetual high schooler whom all the freshman girls will love, and all the freshman boys will be convinced is a narc. Subject to "Jake, Jake the Snake" tauntings.

Jalen: The act of placing a person within the confines of a penitentiary.

James / Jim: A thin, sticklike meat product with a shelf life of thirty-seven years. Also, the captain of a fabled starship.

Ja'mon: To rock in the reggae style, as in "we be Ja'mon." Also, slang for "I agree with you wholeheartedly."

Jar: A vessel used for canning fruits, vegetables, and removed organs. Also, a member of the US Marines.

Jason: A hockey-masked murderer.

Jeb: Governor best known for disenfranchised constituency and dangling chads.

Jed: Hillbilly oil prospector who loved his ce-ment pond.

Jedi: A noble knight who compulsively plays with his Lightsaber.

Jeep: A go-anywhere type of guy. Likes to take his top off and get muddy.

Jeffrey: A long-necked toy store mascot.

Jenner: Decathlete with his own Wheaties box.

Jeremiah: A prophet alone, crying in the wilderness.

Jeremy: One who has spoken. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, he did.

Jesse: A cowboy from the Wild, Wild West.

Jesus: Star of a popular 2004 box-office smash!

Jethro: Pompadoured cousin to Ellie Mae. Continually victimized by Granny and her wooden spoon.

Jimmy: The multicolored sprinkles on top of cupcakes, shaped like male genitalia.

Jock: A sporty fellow, and Miss Ellie's wildcatter husband on the '70s series Dallas, who was an ardent athletic supporter.

Joe: American for "coffee."

Joel: A musically-inclined supermodel magnet who is prone to car accidents.

John: One who purchases the services of prostitutes. Also, a toilet.

John Thomas: Yet another name for the wee one.

Joplin: Seventies female rocker prone to weight fluctuation and drug use.

Jordan: A basketball legend, boy band has-been, and topless UK model.

Jor-El: Father of Superman. Or if he wasn't he should have been.

Jose: Spanish variant of Joseph. Substitute teachers with poor eyesight will call this child Josie.

Jovan: A musky aroma encountered often in the '70s.

Juan: This name allows you to refer to the very thing you mean. "This Juan," "That Juan," "Which Juan?"

Judas: Helped prepare Jesus' last supper, which was sacrilicious!

Juel: A family treasure. Should protect from blunt-force trauma at all cost.

Juhu: A delicious chocolate drink. Also, a greeting popular with Spanish men choosing alternative lifestyles.

Justin: A precursor to headline news teasers. "This Justin. What you're doing right now could cause death.... Story at eleven...."