Hyperventilation, remote controls, and celebrating successes

These tips are from The Husband Book: A Guy's Guide To Marriage by Harry Harrison Junior, which I plan to give to my brother for his wedding.

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Develop a sense of humor. Happily married couples laugh most of the time.

Decide who will be in charge of the family finances. And before you decide that it should be you, figure out who has the most discipline / self-control / math skills. Is this really you?

Learn to compromise on the temperature inside your home.

If your wife is in charge of the finances, respect her opinion about what is affordable.

If you're in charge of the money, respect the fact that your wife is entitled to shop / to buy / to enjoy life without an editorial from you.

Don't try to control her moods.

Remember, your actions say as much about your feelings for her as your words do. But women still like to hear the words.

Do not make her your god, nor should you become hers. You are her husband, and to become anything more or less than that will change your marriage for the worse.

Your looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger will be much more important to you than to her.

Don't try to control what she thinks, says, or even does. It's akin to trying to control a forest fire.

Encourage her to have her own group of friends. You can't imagine how important they will be to her.

Buy an electric blanket with dual controls.

Don't keep score.

Remember, the strongest marriages are made up of two independent people who love each other... not two needy people who are dependent upon each other.

Use deodorant.

Remember, she will always be able to sense when you're disturbed. If you've had a lousy day or something went wrong, tell her... or else she'll think you're mad at her.

Don't belittle her ever... not in front of her friends, nor among your friends.

Realize a woman's intrinsic nature is to guard her nest. Anything that threatens that nest will quickly turn her from a peaceful sparrow to an enraged, furious, AK-47-packing kamikaze pilot. The best tip here is to get out of her way.

If she tends to get seasick, your buying a boat will only result in her throwing up in your new boat.

Remember that contrary to what most men think, you will not spontaneously erupt into a period when you have to go to the store alone to buy tampons.

Don't marry her thinking you can change her.

Don't go to bed mad. This can cause fights to last as long as a week. And bad memories to last years.

Don't forget Valentine's Day.

Always let her know how important she is to you, and how much you treasure her.

Let her paint the house the color she likes, even if it's yellow.

Give her the nice car. And wash it for her now and then.

Don't take everything she says in anger personally. In fact, it's best to practice being deaf during these times.

Celebrate her successes, even the smallest ones, and you'll be astonished at how successful she becomes.

Every now and then, give her the remote control. If this results in hyperventilation, try deep breathing.

Talk to her about her dreams as well as yours.

Watch her dumb romantic movies, especially if she watches your dumb violent ones.

Remember, just because she goes to football / baseball / basketball games doesn't necessarily mean she likes them. She may just like being with you.

Don't ever think you know more than she does.

Take her to the ballet.

Take walks with her, even if you hate walks. This is a wonderful time to hear what's on her mind.

Don't get involved in fights between her and her parents. Just listen to her.

Buy her perfume.

Videotape her from day one.

Realize how busy she is, and offer to help.

Refrain from doing or saying anything that would help her self-esteem.

Buy the clothes she says you look good in. If you're not dressing for her, who are you dressing for?

If you don't know where to take her, take her to Hawaii.

Do the laundry sometimes. Just because she usually does it doesn't mean she likes doing it.

Buy her a cellphone.

Treasure your free time with her... like when the two of you are just lying in bed waking up.

Write her love letters, even after twenty-five years.

Remember, a man's greatest failure is usually his failure to listen.

Strive for personal happiness... even when she's not.

Encourage her to reach for the stars.

Hug her. All the time. Especially when you don't feel like hugging her.

Don't try to give her everything. This will only make you feel tired, bitter, and broke.

Make her aware that she's a big part of your success. Because whether you admit it or not, she is.

Never let the romance dim, and the love won't either.

Romance her with a walk in the park. Don't wear headphones.

Smile. Say "thank you." Enjoy every moment.

You will notice that women think all men have ESP, and they'll get upset with you when your powers have deserted you. This is the reason to keep talking to her.

Remember these words: "I think you look great in that."