You Know You're From Richmond When...
I'm not going over to spend time with my grandma, at least not right now. She doesn't like the rain since it messes with her hair, so whatever. I finally got my bus pass application in the mail, so filled it out. I'll mail it either today or tomorrow: haven't figured out when yet!
There have been some more emails about the dating joke. Danielle found Randal's email amusing and said it was well played, so she apologized to her good friends Jon and Dallas. I jumped in to playfully scold her for ruining it after I told him it was a joke. (we shouldn't have to apologize for them, eh?) Then Jesse said that every joke had a kernel of truth in it. Not necessarily, so I told him that none of us wanted either Jon or Dallas that way if THAT was what he was talking about. I swear, I should just quit associating with people who take obvious jokes too damn seriously! (but that would kill Enrico's buzz, haha... oh well :P)
Here's a hilarious list I found about Richmond... enjoy! Heh, I might email this out to the Richmondites I know later on... :D
You Know You're From Richmond When...
- There are more places to buy bubble tea than a cup of coffee.
- People ask if you speak Chinese.
- There are more sushi places than McDonalds restaurants.
- You know No. 3 Road as the "Ho Chi Minh Trail."
- You know that Steveston Highway has only half the speed limit of a real highway.
- You see one white person for every 20 non-white people.
- There is absolutely nothing to do unless you want to shop at a mall where no signs are in English.
- You can be entertained for hours sitting in a parking lot and counting the accidents.
- You avoid No. 4 Road because it's too bumpy and it will ruin your car.
- You know someone that knows someone you know, that knows someone else you know, that knows you.
- You're surprised when your car starts to roll faster when going down a hill because you never really go down one.
- Tim Horton's on No. 3 Rd. and Cambie has Chinese translations on the menu board.
- When you tell people you are from Richmond and they look at you with a confused look and say, "... But you are white?"
- There's no point checking Translink's website: Richmond buses come whenever the heck they want.
- You call your hometown "Ditchmond," yet jump to defend it whenever Vancouver or Burnaby kids start talking sh*t.
- You know that Michael J. Fox and Ryan Reynolds are both from Richmond, and that Ryan Reynolds attended Kwantlen for a bit. Actually, maybe you didn't - but hey, now you know.
- You actually get offended by the truly terrible quality of sushi found in any other city in BC, Canada, and North America.
- You've lived in Richmond most of your life, but you can count the number of times you've gone to Lansdowne Mall with your fingers.
- You've seriously considered ticking the "member of a visible minority" box on numerous application forms, even though you're a Caucasian male.
- Even though there are three local ski mountains, you only ever go to one, because last time you went to the second, it sucked... and you never even considered going to the third, ever.
- Even though you live in Canada, the so-called "Land of ice and snow," you helplessly acknowledge that 10 centimetres of snow will effectively shut down Vancouver for a week.
- We have no basements and understand the concept of "play rooms or games rooms."
- You had a picture taken with an Asian Santa at Richmond Centre.
- You know what a screamer is.
- French is no longer considered a second language, more like a 4th or 5th.
- You have an earthquake buddy in Vancouver because you need a place to stay when the Big One hits and sinks Richmond like the Titanic.
- Your biggest tourist attraction, Entertainment Boulevard, is in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farms.
- You know you can find every single religion represented on No. 5 Road.
- You know what the dyke is - and it's not a derogatory term.
- You know that Queensborough is not part of Richmond - neither is Delta / Tsawwassen.
- You know a drug dealer or two.
- When your parents ask you what you want for dinner, you say you feel like eating "white" food.
- You've eaten at Danny's - even though it's a convenience store.
- When you've been stuck in traffic for a couple of hours because there was ANOTHER accident in the tunnel.
- You have full-serve gas stations.
- During Christmas, you drive along Blundell Rd. just to see the house with the lights. (You all know which house I'm talking about!)
- You have gone to the Nature Park thinking it would be a fun time, and left really disappointed because you didn't see anything larger than a duck.
- You've been stuck behind a tractor on a one-way street.
- It takes you half an hour to drive the No. 3 Road stretch no matter what direction or time of day.
- You know what was there before the giant River Rock Casino was built.
- You know where the only drive-thru Starbucks is.
- The posted speed limit is 50 but the Mercedes beside you is doing 80 and you speed up because you know the cops will ticket him before he tickets your "piece of sh*t mobile."
- You know the things you see in the Fast and The Furious really happen, and you know someone who supes up their car to street race. Then you laugh at them.
- You have a pitiful excuse for a beach.
- You or someone you know works / has worked at Silvercity Riverport.
- You've had an elementary school sub called Mr. Richmond.
- You're confused when first hearing the concept of filling up your own gas at a self-serve gas station.
There have been some more emails about the dating joke. Danielle found Randal's email amusing and said it was well played, so she apologized to her good friends Jon and Dallas. I jumped in to playfully scold her for ruining it after I told him it was a joke. (we shouldn't have to apologize for them, eh?) Then Jesse said that every joke had a kernel of truth in it. Not necessarily, so I told him that none of us wanted either Jon or Dallas that way if THAT was what he was talking about. I swear, I should just quit associating with people who take obvious jokes too damn seriously! (but that would kill Enrico's buzz, haha... oh well :P)
Here's a hilarious list I found about Richmond... enjoy! Heh, I might email this out to the Richmondites I know later on... :D
You Know You're From Richmond When...
- There are more places to buy bubble tea than a cup of coffee.
- People ask if you speak Chinese.
- There are more sushi places than McDonalds restaurants.
- You know No. 3 Road as the "Ho Chi Minh Trail."
- You know that Steveston Highway has only half the speed limit of a real highway.
- You see one white person for every 20 non-white people.
- There is absolutely nothing to do unless you want to shop at a mall where no signs are in English.
- You can be entertained for hours sitting in a parking lot and counting the accidents.
- You avoid No. 4 Road because it's too bumpy and it will ruin your car.
- You know someone that knows someone you know, that knows someone else you know, that knows you.
- You're surprised when your car starts to roll faster when going down a hill because you never really go down one.
- Tim Horton's on No. 3 Rd. and Cambie has Chinese translations on the menu board.
- When you tell people you are from Richmond and they look at you with a confused look and say, "... But you are white?"
- There's no point checking Translink's website: Richmond buses come whenever the heck they want.
- You call your hometown "Ditchmond," yet jump to defend it whenever Vancouver or Burnaby kids start talking sh*t.
- You know that Michael J. Fox and Ryan Reynolds are both from Richmond, and that Ryan Reynolds attended Kwantlen for a bit. Actually, maybe you didn't - but hey, now you know.
- You actually get offended by the truly terrible quality of sushi found in any other city in BC, Canada, and North America.
- You've lived in Richmond most of your life, but you can count the number of times you've gone to Lansdowne Mall with your fingers.
- You've seriously considered ticking the "member of a visible minority" box on numerous application forms, even though you're a Caucasian male.
- Even though there are three local ski mountains, you only ever go to one, because last time you went to the second, it sucked... and you never even considered going to the third, ever.
- Even though you live in Canada, the so-called "Land of ice and snow," you helplessly acknowledge that 10 centimetres of snow will effectively shut down Vancouver for a week.
- We have no basements and understand the concept of "play rooms or games rooms."
- You had a picture taken with an Asian Santa at Richmond Centre.
- You know what a screamer is.
- French is no longer considered a second language, more like a 4th or 5th.
- You have an earthquake buddy in Vancouver because you need a place to stay when the Big One hits and sinks Richmond like the Titanic.
- Your biggest tourist attraction, Entertainment Boulevard, is in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farms.
- You know you can find every single religion represented on No. 5 Road.
- You know what the dyke is - and it's not a derogatory term.
- You know that Queensborough is not part of Richmond - neither is Delta / Tsawwassen.
- You know a drug dealer or two.
- When your parents ask you what you want for dinner, you say you feel like eating "white" food.
- You've eaten at Danny's - even though it's a convenience store.
- When you've been stuck in traffic for a couple of hours because there was ANOTHER accident in the tunnel.
- You have full-serve gas stations.
- During Christmas, you drive along Blundell Rd. just to see the house with the lights. (You all know which house I'm talking about!)
- You have gone to the Nature Park thinking it would be a fun time, and left really disappointed because you didn't see anything larger than a duck.
- You've been stuck behind a tractor on a one-way street.
- It takes you half an hour to drive the No. 3 Road stretch no matter what direction or time of day.
- You know what was there before the giant River Rock Casino was built.
- You know where the only drive-thru Starbucks is.
- The posted speed limit is 50 but the Mercedes beside you is doing 80 and you speed up because you know the cops will ticket him before he tickets your "piece of sh*t mobile."
- You know the things you see in the Fast and The Furious really happen, and you know someone who supes up their car to street race. Then you laugh at them.
- You have a pitiful excuse for a beach.
- You or someone you know works / has worked at Silvercity Riverport.
- You've had an elementary school sub called Mr. Richmond.
- You're confused when first hearing the concept of filling up your own gas at a self-serve gas station.
| You Are a Practical Gift Giver |
 Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom-tailored to each person. In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use. Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated. |
Labels: blogthings, bubble tea, canada, chinese, christmas, coffee, dallas, danielle, eric m., grandma, jesse, jon, lists, maxed-out tags limit, michael, presents, randal, ryan, snow, sushi
posted by Flami at 1:52:00 PM
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