Eric and Mom amuse me SO much!

Part of a phone conversation just now:

Mom: So how did your date go?
Me: What date?! [How does she know?!]
Mom: The date with that guy the other day!
Me: That wasn't a DATE! [No need for her to know everything!]
Mom: Well, you went out with a guy to do stuff!
Me: That still isn't a DATE, Mom. We just hung out!
Mom: Are you sure he didn't take advantage of you?
Me: Quite sure, Mom. We just chilled and had fun.
Mom: You didn't kiss him or anything like that?
Me: No, of course not!
Mom: That's good. You have to be careful with these Internet people! Does he go to church?
Me: No, Mom. We were talking about that the other night. He says he has a strong dislike of churches and organized religion, and that I could ask him about it. But I said that since it was 2 AM, I had to go to bed.
Mom: He CALLED you at 2 AM?!
Me: No, Mom. Of course not. This was over IM.
Mom: What's that?
Me: It's like MSN and ICQ.
Mom: Oh. Are you sure he's not trying to take advantage of you?
Me: Been there, done that. No, of course not.
Mom: Well, you never know. He might be putting up a front and being nice. I saw this thing on TV about this guy who was normal during the day, and then he tried to get this girl to worship Satan with devil worshippers! They then went to her apartment to scare her some more! Those people are everywhere, you know!
Me: Well, I'm fairly sure he's not like that!
Mom: Just don't go to his house, or invite him over to your apartment!
Me: Of course not, Mom. I'm not doing that now, anyway!
Mom: Okay, good. Is he a strange person?
Me: He's stranger than me. [To say the least....]
Mom: He is?! What sort of strange stuff is he into?
Me: You don't want to know. [I'm not explaining his other complications to her... I wouldn't even know where to start!]
Mom: But I'm your mother!
Me: Actually, he never really explained it to me. [a half-truth] But he's not into church and stuff. That's not even a good thing for me personally. (I'm not rebelling any more that way, now...)
Mom: Good. We need to pray for your better half and a partner for you.
Me: Maybe I'll meet one on the cruise!
Mom: Aiya! I don't know about that!

==================

Then there was the MSN conversation I had with Eric earlier:

[19:08:01] Diven: Don't say it's over it's so not over
[19:08:23] Flami: it's over!: Eh, we're trying to talk that out now, thanks.
[19:09:09] Diven: I'm just quoting big sugar
[19:09:18] Diven: and it better be over
[19:09:22] Diven: in reality
[19:09:31] Flami: it's over!: Yeah, I know you're quoting Big Sugar. ;)
[19:10:03] Flami: it's over!: Oh yes, all the hanky-panky is now over with. The POWERS THAT BE (ie. THE THREE) have declared it so.
[19:11:10] Flami: it's over!: But simple friendship could be where it's at. Who knows.
[19:11:38] Diven: hanky-panky! :-O
[19:11:40] Diven: :P
[19:11:42] Diven: :-O
[19:11:44] Diven: :-O
[19:11:46] Diven: :-O
[19:11:47] Diven: :-O
[19:11:54] Diven: +o( [being sick / barfing]
[19:11:56] Diven: :-O
[19:11:58] Diven: :-O
[19:12:04] Diven: +o(
[19:12:07] Diven: :-O
[19:12:09] Diven: :-O
[19:12:10] Diven: :-O
[19:12:12] Diven: :-O
[19:12:34] Flami: it's over!: I *told* you about the hanky-panky! :O
[19:13:06] Diven: no you didn't
[19:13:19] Diven: you told me about snogging
[19:13:39] Flami: it's over!: Like that isn't enough!?
[19:14:30] Diven: huh.. what are you saying
[19:14:41] Diven: snogging = kissing
[19:14:49] Flami: it's over!: yes, I KNOW
[19:14:51] Diven: hanky-panky = um
[19:14:58] Diven: um
[19:15:03] Diven: +o(
[19:15:18] Flami: it's over!: no, I didn't get into "um, er" with him!
[19:15:24] Diven: good
[19:15:37] Diven: I was pretty sure that was an error
[19:15:52] Diven: becareful with you vocab though sheesh
[19:18:34] Flami: it's over!: heh, sorry for horrifying you :P
[19:18:59] Diven: well its allright..
[19:19:30] Flami: it's over!: okay then, I hope so..
[19:19:52] Diven: my keyboard is really yuckie now though after all the +o(
[19:19:55] Diven: lol
[19:20:54] Flami: it's over!: haha, I'm sure. you weren't eating at the computer, now were you?
[19:21:33] Diven: no its all the pho
[19:23:55] Flami: it's over!: Don't tell me your lunch came up again!
[19:24:11] Diven: again?
[19:24:41] Flami: it's over!: you said it was all the Pho, so I figured the food came up the wrong way
[19:24:58] Diven: yeah.. but what does that have to do with again
[19:25:10] Flami: it's over!: no clue. threw that in as an afterthought
[19:25:28] Diven: it was a completely nut ball after thought but okay
[19:25:38] Diven: I'm kidding about throwing up anyway
[19:25:49] Flami: it's over!: I like being a nutball anyway, and you know it ;)
[19:26:48] Diven: yes unfortunately
[19:27:03] Flami: it's over!: UNFORTUNATELY?!
[19:34:36] Flami: it's over!: hahaha. at least I can be myself around you haha
[19:34:53] Diven: that is good.
[19:35:58] Diven: (reports crazy woman to police in the townhomes across from hostpital.)
[19:36:01] Diven: lol
[19:37:55] Flami: it's over!: you know what that sounds like?
[19:38:13] Diven: no
[19:38:25] Flami: it's over!: it makes it seem like the police are the ones in the apartments across the street from the hospital, and not this "crazy woman" ;)
[19:38:50] Diven: your right it does.
[19:39:57] Diven: (reports crazy woman in the appartment complex across the from the hospital to the police in the police station across from the library)
[19:39:59] Diven: lol
[19:42:46] Flami: it's over!: hahahaha, that's much better in terms of structure ;)
[19:42:51] Flami: it's over!: but I'm not THAT crazy! :P
[19:43:54] Diven: I know... its a joke
[19:45:33] Flami: it's over!: yeah, I know it's a joke.. had to rag on you anyhow :P


Those conversations provided a lot of amusement. :D