Raekwon, Rebel, Romaine, and Ruger

Computer restarted AGAIN, not even an hour later! HOW UNPLEASANT!

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.

R

Racer: One who takes part in a race. While the "winner" will definitely be a "Racer," most "Racers" will be "losers."

Raekwon (WRECK-one) - You will never want to lend this child your car.

Raider: A well-dressed villain whose designs on the ancient treasure will surely be foiled by our fedora-wearing hero.

Ralph: To vomit. "Are you going to Ralph?"

Rameses: An Egyptian pharaoh with an absolute sense of self-importance. Also, a fine brand of condoms, often ribbed.

Ramon: Delicious, inexpensive Chinese noodles that are easily prepared by adding boiling water. Popular with those pursuing a college education.

Randall / Randy: The kid who couldn't take his hand off his privates. Likely to become the unpopular guy at the bar. Perpetually horny.

Rebel: Non-conforming and fond of the color grey. Given to loud vocal expression.

Red: A godless communist who hates everything you stand for as an American.

Regent: Someone who governs in someone else's stead. Also, a morning talk show host; the one who's only slightly less annoying than his ex-cohost.

Rémy: This kid is likely to end up wearing an old raincoat and living on a park bench thanks to his inordinate fondness for inebriating spirits.

Reuben: A greasy sandwich made of corned beef, sauerkraut, and Swiss cheese. Serve warm.

Rex: A great name for a Labrador or golden retriever.

Rhett: A dashing Charlestonian who offers Scarlett O'Hara fifty dollars in gold for the pleasure of a dance.

Ricardo: A wealthy island owner who toyed with the lives of others and dabbled in the supernatural. Especially enjoyed entertaining small people. See also God.

Richard / Dick: Should never be used if your surname is Long, Harden, Wipe, Wad, or Less.

River: A talented young actor with a taste for the illicit, destined to flame out at an early age. Name should be avoided if you live in Arizona.

Robert / Bob: Fat aunts will suggest he be a UK policeman every Halloween. Also, the butt of jokes about the armless, legless man who attempts to water-ski.

Rodney / Rod: Another pitifully phallic name reminiscent of the Washington Monument. Jokes will be merciless.

Romaine: A type of oddly-shaped lettuce popular with washed-up sitcom actors.

Romer: An explorer who wanders aimlessly.

Romulus: An Italian orphan given to suckling outside his species, sibling-on-sibling violence, and founding European capital cities. Also, a planetary cousin of the Vulcans. You really do need help.

Ronald: A man with big feet, high cholesterol, and a red nose; often mistaken for a lush or a short, hairy porn star.

Roscoe: A sheriff's deputy in a small Southern town who exhibits an annoying laugh and poor driving skills. Enjoys the company of a hound dog and looks forward to the day when "those Duke boys get what's coming to them."

Rufus: A likely winner in the Sporting category at the Westminster Dog Show.

Ruger: A German handgun popular with Japanese members of the monocle-wearing set.

Rush: The act of hurrying to secure illegal prescription drugs or delivering a diatribe on any number of conservative issues.

Ryan: A name shared by an army private saved by Tom Hanks in 1998 and an orgasm-faking actress.

Ryder: A boxlike truck most often used to carry explosives and illegal aliens.