Awful toys / Philosophy / Mrs. Fields' Lemon Macadamia Cookies
I HATE BEING A BIG CHICKEN!
The Canucks COULD have secured a playoff spot tonight with a win against Colorado, but they lost 5-4 in a shootout! (the only guy to score there was someone who'd scored twice already in the game) I've heard that Roberto Luongo doesn't have any playoff experience, so that might very well be a factor... yikes. Guess they'll have to wait till the next game to get a win, which I believe is also against Colorado - if not, I'm sure someone will be along to correct me. Not very many games left in the season, however!
Speaking of Colorado, Corey forwarded me a link from Something Awful about horrible toys for children. I've looked at it, and yeah - I have no idea why ADULTS in the toy industry don't realize that (for example) a Dora the Explorer toy which looks like a... more adult toy... is NOT appropriate for kids!
Today's Philosophical Yet Truly Morbid Fact!
Empedocles was a mystic from a Greek colony in Sicily, as well as the last philosopher to write in verse. He claimed that all matter was composed of four elements - water, earth, air, and fire - and held that all motion is just the interaction of particles, which never change in quantity, but only in position. He was brilliant, but also arrogant and insane, claiming that through knowledge he had become divine and could perform miracles. While there is some evidence that he died in Greece, the more entertaining story goes that to prove his divinity... he cast himself into an active volcano (Mt. Etna in Sicily), inadvertently and idiotically killing himself in the process. Philosophy, incidentally, translates to "love of wisdom."
Culled from: Bitching and Moaning.Org
Generously submitted by: kelshubert
**********************************************************************
I have roused myself from my sickbed to send off this missive. The sickness I am suffering from is worse than ever today, and to make matters even more unbearable, it was nearly 80 degrees. The insects are buzzing, the flowers are blooming, my beloved winter is dying. Oh, how I detest the sickness of spring!
Okay, it's back to the sickbed for me. Hope you all are doing better than I on this doleful Sunday.
*******
Wretched Recommendations!
Axollot has a fiction recommendation:
Pattern Crimes by William Bayer
"It is a fast-paced serial killer thriller. This is the description on the back of the book: 'It started with a girl found dead at the Damascus Gate. It continued with a succession of bodies, all identically mutilated, all dumped near the old City Walls. It pointed to a crazed psychopath, a case of serial murders. But it concealed something far more sinister...'"
*******
Morbid Mirth Du Jour!
"Mrs. Smith was a hypochondriac. Dr. Jones was fed up with her constant complaints about non-existent illnesses, so he started palming her off with a mild sedative to keep her happy. One day, she complained about chest pains, and the doctor prescribed his usual treatment. This time, however, the pain was real... and Mrs. Smith died of a heart attack.
"On hearing of her death, Dr. Jones was so upset that he died of shock. Mrs. Smith and Dr. Jones were buried next to each other in the cemetery. The next morning, Dr. Jones heard a tapping on his coffin, followed by a voice saying: 'Dr. Jones, this is Mrs. Smith. Do you have anything for worms?'"
You can thank Remo for that one!
Mrs. Fields' Lemon Macadamia Cookies
Recipe By:
Serving Size: 36 Preparation Time: 0:00
Categories: Cookies
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1 large egg
1 tablespoon lemon extract
1 1/2 cups macadamia nuts, unsalted
Preheat oven to 300°F. In a medium bowl... combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix well and set aside. In a large bowl, blend sugars well with an electric mixer set at medium speed. Add the butter and cream cheese, and add the mix to form a smooth paste. Add the egg and lemon extract, and beat at medium speed until light and soft. Scrape down the sides of the bowl occasionally. Add the flour mixture and nuts. Blend at low speed just until combined. Do not overmix. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheets, two inches apart. Bake 23-25 minutes. Immediately transfer to a cool, flat surface. Yield: approximately three dozen.
The Canucks COULD have secured a playoff spot tonight with a win against Colorado, but they lost 5-4 in a shootout! (the only guy to score there was someone who'd scored twice already in the game) I've heard that Roberto Luongo doesn't have any playoff experience, so that might very well be a factor... yikes. Guess they'll have to wait till the next game to get a win, which I believe is also against Colorado - if not, I'm sure someone will be along to correct me. Not very many games left in the season, however!
Speaking of Colorado, Corey forwarded me a link from Something Awful about horrible toys for children. I've looked at it, and yeah - I have no idea why ADULTS in the toy industry don't realize that (for example) a Dora the Explorer toy which looks like a... more adult toy... is NOT appropriate for kids!
Today's Philosophical Yet Truly Morbid Fact!
Empedocles was a mystic from a Greek colony in Sicily, as well as the last philosopher to write in verse. He claimed that all matter was composed of four elements - water, earth, air, and fire - and held that all motion is just the interaction of particles, which never change in quantity, but only in position. He was brilliant, but also arrogant and insane, claiming that through knowledge he had become divine and could perform miracles. While there is some evidence that he died in Greece, the more entertaining story goes that to prove his divinity... he cast himself into an active volcano (Mt. Etna in Sicily), inadvertently and idiotically killing himself in the process. Philosophy, incidentally, translates to "love of wisdom."
Culled from: Bitching and Moaning.Org
Generously submitted by: kelshubert
**********************************************************************
I have roused myself from my sickbed to send off this missive. The sickness I am suffering from is worse than ever today, and to make matters even more unbearable, it was nearly 80 degrees. The insects are buzzing, the flowers are blooming, my beloved winter is dying. Oh, how I detest the sickness of spring!
Okay, it's back to the sickbed for me. Hope you all are doing better than I on this doleful Sunday.
*******
Wretched Recommendations!
Axollot has a fiction recommendation:
Pattern Crimes by William Bayer
"It is a fast-paced serial killer thriller. This is the description on the back of the book: 'It started with a girl found dead at the Damascus Gate. It continued with a succession of bodies, all identically mutilated, all dumped near the old City Walls. It pointed to a crazed psychopath, a case of serial murders. But it concealed something far more sinister...'"
*******
Morbid Mirth Du Jour!
"Mrs. Smith was a hypochondriac. Dr. Jones was fed up with her constant complaints about non-existent illnesses, so he started palming her off with a mild sedative to keep her happy. One day, she complained about chest pains, and the doctor prescribed his usual treatment. This time, however, the pain was real... and Mrs. Smith died of a heart attack.
"On hearing of her death, Dr. Jones was so upset that he died of shock. Mrs. Smith and Dr. Jones were buried next to each other in the cemetery. The next morning, Dr. Jones heard a tapping on his coffin, followed by a voice saying: 'Dr. Jones, this is Mrs. Smith. Do you have anything for worms?'"
You can thank Remo for that one!
Mrs. Fields' Lemon Macadamia Cookies
Recipe By:
Serving Size: 36 Preparation Time: 0:00
Categories: Cookies
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1 large egg
1 tablespoon lemon extract
1 1/2 cups macadamia nuts, unsalted
Preheat oven to 300°F. In a medium bowl... combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix well and set aside. In a large bowl, blend sugars well with an electric mixer set at medium speed. Add the butter and cream cheese, and add the mix to form a smooth paste. Add the egg and lemon extract, and beat at medium speed until light and soft. Scrape down the sides of the bowl occasionally. Add the flour mixture and nuts. Blend at low speed just until combined. Do not overmix. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheets, two inches apart. Bake 23-25 minutes. Immediately transfer to a cool, flat surface. Yield: approximately three dozen.
Labels: books, crap, death, history, hockey, jokes, kids, morbid, poems, recipes, serial killers, sex, sick, something awful, water
posted by Flami at 1:13:00 AM
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