How do you mistake THAT for a chicken's neck?!

Kate's last night in town is tonight, so she, my sister, and others are hanging out at Rachel's house. Good idea... I'll see Rachel on New Year's Day, and apparently I'll see Harmony again the night before. I've been promised that I'll like a 2007 calendar my mom's bought me, and my sister says that she's also bought me a temporary tattoo. We'll see...


Today's Mistaken Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

An elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it. It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night. "I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it." Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Culled from: Reuters
Generously donated by: Katchaya

**********************************************************************

Okay, this fact sounds like utter hogwash to me too, but hey, if Reuters reports it, it has at least a 20% chance of being true. So, let's make the most of it: Morbid Caption Contest time! Here's the concept: Send me your funniest headline for this story. The winner receives a highly fashionable Morbid Fact Du Jour 10-year-anniversary T-shirt. Send your entries to captions@asylumeclectica.com. Contest closes Wednesday, January 3rd, Twenty-Oh-Seven.

*******

Morbid Sightseeing!

Kate has a sightseeing recommendation for anyone planning a trip to Dublin, Ireland:

"I went on the Ghostbus tour of Dublin and it was genuinely frightening (but funny as well). I would recommend it to anyone who visits or lives in Dublin."

*******

Morbid Lyric Du Jour!

K. suggests that we delve into "Mattie Groves" - an old English folksong performed most famously by Fairport Convention. It's your basic girl marries boy, girl meets servant, girl seduces servant, boy kills servant, girl chooses dead servant over boy, boy kills girl story.

Mattie Groves

A holiday, a holiday, the first one of the year
Lord Arlen's wife came into church the gospel for to hear.

And when the meeting it was done she cast her eyes about
And there she saw little Mattie Groves, walking in the park.

Come home with me little Mattie Groves, come home with me tonight
Come home with me little Mattie Groves and sleep with me tonight.

Oh I can't come home, I won't come home and sleep with you tonight
By the rings on your fingers I can tell you are Lord Arlen's wife.

'Tis true I am Lord Arlen's wife, Lord Arlen's not at home
He is out to the far corn fields, bringing the yearlings home.

And the sundt who was standing by and hearing what was said
He saw Lord Arlen, he would know, before the sun would set.

And in his hurry to carry the news, he filled his breast and ran
And when he came to the broad mill stream he took off his shoes and swam

Little Mattie Groves, he lay down and took a little sleep
When he awoke, Lord Arlen was standing at his feet

Saying how do you like my feather bed and how do you like my sheets
And how do you like my lady, who lies in your arms asleep.

Oh well I like your feather bed and well I like your sheets
But better I like your lady maid who lies in my arms asleep.

Well Get Up! Get Up! Lord Arlen cried, Get Up as quick as you can
It'll never be said in fair England I slew a naked man!

Oh I won't get up, I won't get up, I can't get up for my life
For you have two long beaten swords and I have but a pocket knife.

Well it's true I have two beaten swords, they cost me deep in the purse
But you will have the better of them and I will have the worst.

And you will strike the very first blow and strike it like a man
I will strike the very next blow and I'll kill you if I can.

So Mattie struck the very first blow and he hurt Lord Arlen sore
Lord Arlen struck the very next blow and Mattie struck no more.

And then Lord Arlen he took his wife, he sat her on his knee
Saying who do you like the best of us, Mattie Groves or me.

And then spoke up his own dear wife never heard to speak so free
I'd rather kiss one dead Mattie's lips than you and your finery.

Lord Arlen, he jumped up and loudly he did bawl
He stuck his wife right through the heart and pinned her against the wall.

A grave, a grave, Lord Arlen cried, to put these lovers in
But bury my lady at the top for she was of noble kin.