Hilarious signs from around the world

For more of this stuff, see Engrish. :D

On the grass in a Paris park: "Please do not be a dog."

Outside a Hong Kong dress shop: "Ladies have fits upstairs."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different gender, for instance men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

At a Belgrade hotel: "Restauroom open daily."

Outside an Athens shop: "Park one hour. Later dick dock goes the money clock."

In a Rome hotel room: "Please dial 7 to retrieve your auto from the garbage."

In a Paris guidebook: "To call a broad from France, first dial 00, then the country's code and then your number."

In a Tokyo rental car: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."

Detour sign in Japan: "Stop: Drive Sideways"

At a Seoul hotel desk: "Choose twin bed or marriage size; we regret no King Kong size."

In a Chinese menu: "Cold Shredded Children and Sea Blubber in Spicy Sauce."

In menu in Nepal: "Complimentary glass wine or bear."

On packaging for a kitchen knife in Korea: "Warning: Keep out of children."

On an Italian train: "Water not potatoble."

At a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

At a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

At a Budapest hotel: "All rooms not denounced by twelve o'clock will be paid for twicely."

In a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."

At a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

In a tailor ship in Rhodes: "Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict order."

A laundry in Rome: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

In a Czech tourist agency: "Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages."

On a Viennese restaurant menu: "Fried milk, children sandwiches, roast cattle, and boiled sheep."

In a Swiss mountain inn: "Special today -- no ice cream."

A doctor's office in Rome: "Specialist in women and other diseases."

In a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."

At a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."

At a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

At a Swedish furrier: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Havana hotel: "Guests are prohibited from walking around in the lobby in large groups in the nude."

Seville cathedral: "It is forbidden to enter a woman even if a foreigner is dressed as a man."

Barcelona hospital: "Visitors two to a bed and half an hour only."

Tokyo barbershop: "All customers promptly executed."

Torremolinos hotel: "We highly recommend the hotel tart."

Israel butcher shop: "I slaughter myself twice daily."

Colon restaurant: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining persons of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is requested that the lobby be used for this purpose."

Sri Lanka restaurant: "All vegetables in this establishment have been washed in water especially passed by the management."

Zanzibar barbershop: "Gentlemen's throats cut with nice sharp razors."

Budapest shop: "Very smart! Almost pansy!"

French swimming pool: "Swimming is forbidden in the absence of the savior."

Paris dress shop: "Dresses for street walking."

Barcelona travel agency: "Go away."

Japanese hotel: "It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis."

Another Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

Leipzig hotel elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

Belgrade hotel elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."

Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Swiss restaurant menu: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Athens hotel: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily."

Yugoslavia hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

Austrian hotel for skiers: "Not to perambulate corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Menu at a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

In a Japanese hotel room: Please to Bathe inside the tub.

From a chopstick wrapper in a Chinese restaurant: Can you eat with chopsticks Doctor told us / Be intell / eat by using chopsticks / Lots of people use chopsticks / So try eat your chopsticks / Right now!

Air conditioner directions in a Japanese hotel room: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

Outside a Russian monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In a Finland hotel: If you cannot reach a fire exit, close the door and expose yourself at the window.

In a Copenhagen airport: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

From a Majorcan (Spain) shop entrance: Here speeching American.

Warning label on Chinese lint-cleaning roller:
1. Do not use this roller to the floorings that made of wood and plastic.
2. Do not use this roller to clean the stuffs that dangerous to your hands such as glass and chinaware.
3. Do not use the roller to people's head, it is dangerous that hair could be sticked up to cause unexpected suffering.

In a Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.