Don't call to tell me things that I already know!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CATHY.. I hope you have a good one today! :) You've been such a good influence on my life.. thanks!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUCAS.. I hope you have a great one today! :) It's always good seeing you around when you make it out.

Had a good time at Awana today.. the kids asked me for gum, but I only gave them two pieces. Before you think I'm a meanie, they already ask me for too much of the stuff already. So I'm trying to teach them self-denial. (or something)

One more thing: do NOT call and disconnect me to tell me things that I most likely already know. This includes, but is definitely not limited to:

the 3-2 (OT) score of the recent hockey game (I'd been listening to Sportstalk on NW 98 for the past hour, so I certainly knew about the game result already!)
what the family's doing on the weekend (I heard about it from my beloved brother, and if the parental angle is much the same..)
Friday plans for the Fellowship (I heard about it from other people, for goodness sakes!)
the latest kidnap / rape / murder / prowler news (despite what you may believe, I *do* keep up with the news)
any other inane crap that can't wait till the next time you see me (like, do you really have to call me six times in two hours to tell me "important" stuff that you supposedly "forgot" about? cheh!)