Jack Bauer killed the one dentist who didn't recommend Trident.

Jack Bauer Facts!

I'll post these in parts of about 100 each, haha.

1. Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris were stuck in a room together once. After 3 minutes, Chuck Norris left crying without a scratch on him.
2. If you shoot Jack Bauer, you better believe he will interrogate your bullet, and know who shot at him.
3. When you get in a fistfight with Jack Bauer, he kills you with your own fists.
4. The Butterfly Effect was originally going to star Jack Bauer, but they realized there was nothing to go back in time and correct.
5. Jack Bauer as the new spokesperson for Verizon: "You're gonna hear me now. It's just a matter of how much you want it to hurt."
6. When Jack Bauer was on The Price is Right, he won the showcase showdown by torturing Bob Barker until he told him the exact price of his showcase.
7. Meatloaf once sang, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." Jack Bauer did "that." Twice.
8. If Jack Bauer was at your party, it would be the longest day of your life.
9. Pandora actually opened Bauer's Box.
10. Jack Bauer likes to go bowling on the weekends. By "bowling," I mean "killing"... and by "on the weekends," I mean "anytime he feels like it."
11. When Jack Bauer m*sturbates, he doesn't touch himself at all. He just threatens his b*lls.
12. Jack Bauer doesn't own Tivo. His VCR simply lives in fear of ever forgetting to record his shows again.
13. If you Tivo 24, Jack Bauer will kill you. Jack Bauer f*cking waits for no one.
14. Jack Bauer watches 24 every Monday night as a weekly reminder of how badass he is.
15. Jack Bauer is right behind you. By the time you turn around, he'll be in hiding.
16. The only time we'd ever have to fear the French Army is if Jack Bauer became a French citizen.
17. Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light. Not because he is scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of Jack Bauer.
18. Jack Bauer doesn't need a watch. Time follows him.
19. Jack Bauer's shadow has 8 kills.
20. When God said, "Let there be light," it was so Jack Bauer could see who he was going to shoot.
21. Having sex with Jack Bauer has also been called "Lethal Injection."
22. If Jack Bauer was on Oceanic Flight 815, he'd have been off the island with 23 hours and 59 minutes to spare.
23. In the time it takes you to read this, Jack Bauer would have already ended your life and moved on to your neighbors.
24. Geico just saved a bunch of money on their car insurance by switching to Jack Bauer.
25. The X-Files are no longer on TV. That's because Jack solved them all.
26. What should you tell a terrorist that's been shot three times? Nothing. Jack Bauer already is about to ask him his first question.
27. Jack Bauer has cancer, and cancer prays for its life.
28. On Halloween, Jack Bauer goes as himself.
29. Jack Bauer plays Kiefer Sutherland on TV. Needless to say, Jack Bauer is the world's greatest actor.
30. For 24: The Game (PS2), there will be three levels of difficulty; Normal, Hard, and Jack Bauer.
31. Audrey had a visible reaction when she learned that Jack was still alive: Orgasm. Multiple.
32. Jack Bauer can piss in the corner of a circular room.
33. If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, it's because Jack Bauer is bending him over.
34. Jack Bauer doesn't like it when people copy Chuck Norris facts and substitute his name. He will gun down your family for that.
35. Jack Bauer beat Tetris.
36. When Jack Bauer runs with scissors, someone WILL get hurt, and it won't be Jack Bauer.
37. When Jack Bauer sends in his taxes, he sends a blank form along with a picture of himself with a gun. Jack Bauer has not had to pay taxes ever.
38. When Jack Bauer orders a pizza with toppings, he gets pepperoni and glass. He picks off the pepperoni.
39. Jack Bauer killed the one dentist who didn't recommend Trident.
40. Jack Bauer has one weakness: Kim's stupidity.
41. No one says "Who's your daddy?" to Kim Bauer and lives to tell about it.
42. Jack Bauer doesn't use a stunt double. Stunt doubles use Jack Bauer.
43. The Chinese didn't admit that Jack actually repeatedly spoke two words during the two years of Chinese torture: at the end of each session, he said "That tickled."
44. Jesus turned water into wine. Jack Bauer turns blood from a terrorist he shot in the kneecaps into truth serum.
45. Jack Bauer tortured Amnesty International until they agreed to endorse torture.
46. Jack Bauer doesn't need a gun to kill terrorists. Guns just want in on the action.
47. Jack Bauer knows what you did last summer.
48. A policeman once pulled over Jack Bauer. Upon realizing his mistake, the cop promptly arrested himself. Jack then shot him in the face anyways.
49. If you are reading this, Jack Bauer has not killed you. Yet.
50. If Jack Bauer was killed, God would wake up in a cold sweat and realize he was just having a nightmare.
51. Jack Bauer shaves the sights off his guns. They get in his way when he is trying to shoot.
52. Jack Bauer fills his plug-in air freshener with Sentox nerve gas.
53. When in the presence of Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down.
54. If Jack Bauer asks for your car, give it to him. And your wife.
55. Jack Bauer added his own face to Mount Rushmore. Barehanded.
56. Jack Bauer tortures his family members to find out what he's getting for Christmas.
57. The FBI and CIA both use the show 24 as their primary training videos. Our investigators are still trying to discern what was used before 2001.
58. Little girl on the milk carton, Jack Bauer knows where you are.
59. It takes Jack Bauer 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
60. Kobe Bryant will pass the ball when Jack Bauer tells him to.
61. Jack Bauer forced the Blackberry settlement so he could send a message to Mike Novick during Season 5.
62. Most people start their day with a bowl of cereal. Jack Bauer starts his day with a 9mm and a double figure body count.
63. Jack Bauer can get a homeless guy to say who he's working for.
64. Jack Bauer can't go behind enemy lines. The enemies are behind Jack Bauer's line.
65. Jack was going to cut Chase's hand off anyway. The bomb just gave him an excuse.
66. When people said that 24 had "jumped the shark," Jack Bauer jumped into the tank and killed the shark with his bare hands.
67. The reason there is a 50% divorce rate in the United States is because Jack Bauer is still single.
68. Jeeves asks Jack Bauer.
69. President Logan is not scared because he knows the terrorists are threatening America. He is scared because he knows Jack Bauer can take over anytime he wants.
70. The truth may set you free, but only if Jack Bauer says it's okay.
71. Jack Bauer doesn't need to "establish a perimeter." He is the perimeter.
72. When Jack Bauer does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the world down.
73. The cartoon that the Muslims are so angry about is really a drawing of Jack Bauer.
74. Jack Bauer has stared death in the face so many times that Jack is no longer afraid of death. Death is afraid of Jack.
75. Studio execs pitched a Jack Bauer vs The Terminator movie. Upon hearing about this, The Terminator killed itself.
76. While playing Clue, instead of investigating the rooms, Jack interrogates the Colonel until he tells him who killed Mr. Boddy.
77. When a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear the sound, Jack Bauer hears it.
78. It never rains on Jack Bauer because nature knows better.
79. When Jack Bauer wants drive-through, he gets it. If the restaurant doesn't have a drive-through, they end up with one anyway.
80. Jack Bauer doesn't have to blow in his old Nintendo cartridges to make them work.
81. Jack Bauer understands the words that are coming out of Chris Tucker's mouth, but it's just easier to shoot him.
82. Even if Red Bull does give you wings, Jack Bauer will keep you on the f*cking ground.
83. Even if you get shot in the neck or blown up in an explosion, if Jack Bauer needs you to work... you're coming back to work, dammit.
84. Jack Bauer once passed a kidney stone so large that he called it Edgar and put it to work at CTU.
85. Jack Bauer does not pull out. The girl must know when to push away or else it's her problem.
86. The Ten Commandments has an asterisk, excluding Jack Bauer from having to obey all of the above.
87. It's a simple arrangement in God's equation. Jesus Saves His children and Jack Bauer kills His mistakes.
88. When Jack Bauer is asleep, time stops.
89. There once 'was' a man from Nantucket. Jack Bauer shot him.
90. To Jack Bauer, "Dammit" isn't just a cuss word, it's a way of life.
91. Jack Bauer places a bag of flaming dog poop on Satan's front porch every week. Satan knows Jack is doing it, but he can't do anything about it.
92. To give the terrorists a fighting chance, Jack Bauer will start throwing bullets.
93. Jack Bauer never really learned how to fly a helicopter, but it flew perfectly anyway. The helicopter was scared of what would happen if it didn't cooperate.
94. Jack Bauer turns left on red.
95. Jack Bauer was once slapped and told to turn the other cheek. He did, but only to reach for his gun.
96. Jack Bauer always answers the phone with "Yeah!" Other people say "Hello."
97. Jack Bauer was once abducted by aliens, and this explains why scientists haven't discovered intelligent life in the universe.
98. There are two certainties for everyone in life, death and taxes. For Jack Bauer, there's only one certainty. And that's why he hired a good accountant.
99. Sometimes Jack Bauer likes to play dodgeball with little kids. Not with a ball, but actually throwing little kids at each other.
100. If you're in Jack Bauer's hands, you're not covered under our policy. That's Allstate's stand.