Bart Simpson prank calls, and the Jenny census
This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.
The Jenny Census
Everyone who grew up in the United States in the 1970s and 1980s had a large group of friends who all had to be referred to by their last names. The reason for this "family name" distinction is that all of their first names were Jenny. Granted, in the '70s and '80s, the United States was much less of a global society than it is now, so not everyone knew that everyone else was named Jenny. But now that the Jennys have grown up and are producing offspring of their own, there are far fewer new Jennys being released into society at large.
Officially, the name Jennifer takes precedence over the name Jenny. However, you should not be lulled into a false sense of security that your child's full name (Jennifer) will be used for all of her (or his, poor soul) life. The following census is proof positive that there are still far too many Jennys currently residing in the USA. For safety's sake, the name Jenny should not be resurrected until the majority of Jennys currently in existence have "moved on." Simple math suggests that with an average lifespan of eighty-five years, the name Jenny will become available again for use in late 2060.
The list below suggests (thankfully) a waning popularity in naming one's child Jenny / Jennifer. Let's keep up the good work, people!
Bart Simpson Prank Calls
Nearly everyone, at some point in his or her life, has called a random stranger on the phone to ask for a cleverly-devised set of names that, when pronounced, make the receiver appear extremely foolish. But perhaps no prank caller in the past hundred years has been more effective than Bart Simpson. Both the Dick and Hunt families have been careful for generations - and will continue to be in the future. But for other, less common family names, we provide this list as a means of saving your child a lifetime of misery.
I.P. Freely
Jacques Strap
Al Coholic
Oliver Clothesoff
Seymour Buttz
Homer Sexual
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Bea O'Problem
Amanda Huggenkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Anita Man
Maya Buttreeks
Eura Snotball
Ollie Tabooger
Heywood U. Cuddleme
The Jenny Census
Everyone who grew up in the United States in the 1970s and 1980s had a large group of friends who all had to be referred to by their last names. The reason for this "family name" distinction is that all of their first names were Jenny. Granted, in the '70s and '80s, the United States was much less of a global society than it is now, so not everyone knew that everyone else was named Jenny. But now that the Jennys have grown up and are producing offspring of their own, there are far fewer new Jennys being released into society at large.
Officially, the name Jennifer takes precedence over the name Jenny. However, you should not be lulled into a false sense of security that your child's full name (Jennifer) will be used for all of her (or his, poor soul) life. The following census is proof positive that there are still far too many Jennys currently residing in the USA. For safety's sake, the name Jenny should not be resurrected until the majority of Jennys currently in existence have "moved on." Simple math suggests that with an average lifespan of eighty-five years, the name Jenny will become available again for use in late 2060.
The list below suggests (thankfully) a waning popularity in naming one's child Jenny / Jennifer. Let's keep up the good work, people!
| Year | Number of Jennys / Jennifers |
|---|---|
| 1970-1979 | 603,720 |
| 1980-1989 | 465,120 |
| 1990 | 24,661 |
| 1991 | 22,926 |
| 1992 | 19,708 |
| 1993 | 17,531 |
| 1994 | 14,911 |
| 1995 | 14,186 |
| 1996 | 12,345 |
| 1997 | 12,446 |
| 1998 | 9,207 |
| 1999 | 10,866 |
| 2000 | 10,142 |
| 2001 | 9,675 |
| 2002 | 9,344 |
Bart Simpson Prank Calls
Nearly everyone, at some point in his or her life, has called a random stranger on the phone to ask for a cleverly-devised set of names that, when pronounced, make the receiver appear extremely foolish. But perhaps no prank caller in the past hundred years has been more effective than Bart Simpson. Both the Dick and Hunt families have been careful for generations - and will continue to be in the future. But for other, less common family names, we provide this list as a means of saving your child a lifetime of misery.
I.P. Freely
Jacques Strap
Al Coholic
Oliver Clothesoff
Seymour Buttz
Homer Sexual
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Bea O'Problem
Amanda Huggenkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Anita Man
Maya Buttreeks
Eura Snotball
Ollie Tabooger
Heywood U. Cuddleme
Labels: 1991, 2005, amanda, amusement, babies, baby's named a bad bad thing, books, characters, history, jennifer, jenny, joe, lists, michael, names, phone calls, tv shows
posted by Flami at 10:53:00 PM
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