I'm going to get that SIM card from your stomach!
Cole is in handcuffs as cops bring him up to the construction site. He is showing no ill effects of his encounter with the explosive device, naturally. He identifies the body, and it looks like Dana is really dead. He seems sad. Or confused. As I've said, it's hard to tell with Freddie Prinze, Jr. Jack looks at the tape, and Dana is talking to the Russian sniper. (who has the worst Russian accent I've heard in a long time – I'm talking Rod-Steiger-in-The-Specialist bad) Anyway, it's clear that Dana really did love Cole, and wanted him left out of the plot – which Dana, helpfully, recaps on the tape for a) anyone who wants to blow the lid off the conspiracy, and b) anyone who skipped the last few episodes. Jack calls Michael Madsen, and says he's coming in. I was wondering what happened to him.
Jason (Logan's Lackey) is giving out orders and spins tales about Jack being crazy, insane, and a danger to the community. Well, he's probably right about that. Anyway, Chloe asks about why Jack was at the bank, but Jason dismisses it. Maybe he was applying for a loan? Chloe tries to talk to Arlo into forming yet another shadow conspiracy within CTU, but Arlo says no. He'll come around soon. Chloe can't do it by herself, you know.
Michael Madsen wants to know what's going on, and he sees through Jack's BS about wanting to bring everyone to justice. Finally, Jack comes clean and tells him that this whole thing is a revenge mission. That's good enough for Madsen, and he gives Jack info on the sniper. His name is Pavel Something-ov. Jack then asks for a secure line. Who's he gonna call? Not Ghostbusters, apparently. Instead, he calls the blonde reporter that hooked up with Hassan. She's back at work, and her editor is praising her for her very heartfelt tribute to Hassan. She praised him for his strength, vigor, and steady hand. She also talked about his skills as a president. Jack calls her and tells her about the video evidence, and wants her help in bringing the Russian Conspiracy to light.
Cole is back at CTU, and Jason starts to interrogate him. Cole asks Jason if he's part of the conspiracy, and Jason flinches. He tries to appeal to Cole by talking about their shared military history, but that doesn't seem to work. Jason then tells Cole that Jack used him, and Cole looks hurt. First Dana and now Jack. Cole needs to stop letting himself get used like that. Love yourself first, Cole. Jason gets a call on his Bluetooth (I'm guessing all bad guys on the show are contractually obligated to wear one), and finds out that Arlo has intercepted a call from Bauer to Reed. So much for that secure line. Jason then immediately pulls Arlo off the task, and tells him to hand everything over to "Eden" – Jason's hot aide. Chloe smirks knowingly in the background. Either because she knows she's about to get Arlo into her shadow conspiracy, or because Jason's aide is named "Eden." What is she? A stripper? Eden shows her skills by decrypting the call and forwarding it to Logan during the commercial break. That makes her twice as efficient as anyone working at CTU.
Jason is bullish about their chances of taking down Jack, and is quite proud of himself. Jason then sees Chloe, and wants Eden to make the room "less public." Maybe he wants a private dance? This isn't the champagne room, Jason. It's an office! One that might have a rotting corpse somewhere in the wall panels. Seriously, he hasn't started to smell yet? Chloe sways Arlo by asking why CTU hasn't put their agents in place, and contacted local authorities to apprehend Jack. Uh – maybe because they're utterly incompetent and completely powerless to stop Jack? Arlo finally agrees to help, and tells Chloe that Jason has everything completely monitored within CTU. Chloe pulls a page out of the Keanu Reeves playbook, and wants to patch a loop into the video feed so that she can talk to Cole. She only has 90 seconds to do this, however.
Cole is upset with Jack, and won't help Chloe. Guess that short-lived bromance is officially over. Chloe appeals to Cole's sense of duty, and Cole finally gives Chloe info about Madsen, although he doesn't know who he is. Logan is watching FOX News, and learns that President Suvarov is coming into JFK soon. He immediately calls Pavel, and tells him to take out Reed as well. President Taylor and President-Select Hassan are going over the notes of the agreement, and Taylor excuses herself to talk to Logan. "We have an operation underway to reacquire him," Logan says. I love the way these people use euphemisms. Anyway, Logan wants credit for his role, and Taylor agrees. She should have used the "You played a role" line that Logan used on President Palmer in Season 4. That would have been awesome.
Reed is at the rendezvous point, and she somehow fails to notice all the people talking in Russian around her. Jack tries to shadow himself behind a tall guy, but he soon gets made by Jason, who is watching the live feed. Jason freaks out and yells at the Russians to take him out, but they can't get a clear shot on him. Finally, Pavel thinks he has a shot, but wouldn't you know it? Madsen sneaks up behind him and neutralizes him. (see, I can use euphemisms, too!) Jason sees Jack leave with Reed, and he orders the Russians to take him out. Jack then draws them into a firefight, and I think the Russians haven't been this big of an underdog since the gold medal game in basketball during the 1972 Olympics. Jack easily escapes, and Jason is finally starting to realize what he's gotten himself into. Not so smug now, are we?
Logan is picking out ties (and he even has each one of them shrink-wrapped in plastic – surely that says something about him) when he gets the bad news from Jason. Logan is not happy about this, but Jason tries to spin it by saying that Logan still has complete deniability. Jason advises Logan to "distance" himself. Logan doesn't want to "distance" himself, and seems sick of the euphemisms. "You keep using that phrase! What does that mean?" he wants to know. Anyway, Logan is not about to retreat, not when he's about to rehabilitate his image in one fell swoop. Logan wants Jason to "neutralize" Jack. Hey! That's my euphemism! Jason and Eden seem resigned to failure, but Jason wants to give it one last go. He's going to take a CTU swat team and set up a perimeter around the store. That'll be his second mistake.
Arlo thinks he can figure out who Jack is working with, and I have a sinking suspicion he's going to tell Jason about it. Jack takes Pavel into a warehouse, and decides to have some fun with him. Reed is upset because Jack used her, just like he used Cole. He's just using people left and right, isn't he? He's just a big old user! Jack ties Pavel up and wants to know who he's working for. Pavel tells him to go to hell, but Jack shows that he still has an impeccable sense of black-comedic timing when says "You first."
Reed is watching the video footage while Madsen keeps an eye on her. Jack tells Pavel that Renee was more than a friend, but Pavel already knows that because he's a voyeur. Jack asks him about his performance, and Pavel says something to the effect of how Jack must be like Superman because he was faster than a speeding bullet. Jack takes exception to that, and starts beating Pavel relentlessly before stumbling backwards. Jack seems to regret his actions, and looks like he's on the verge of breaking down. Well, so much for that. Jack goes back to Pavel and starts slicing him up. He takes a page out of Madsen's playbook, and squirts gasoline on Pavel's wounds. Maybe he should try slicing off an ear while dancing to bad 70s music.
It's blowtorch time, but Pavel stands up to that, too. Finally, he grabs Pavel's phone and realizes the SIM card is missing. He figures that Pavel must have swallowed it, so he decides to perform some impromptu surgery. Man, the lengths people go to to avoid re-entering all your contacts. Jack gets the card, and calls the last number. It's Logan's voicemail, although it's the automated variety. That's too bad. I was hoping Logan would have a greeting like "This is President Charles Logan. I'm sorry I missed your call, but I'm busy engaging in treasonous activities and capital crimes that could get me thrown in prison for the rest of my life, or worse. Please leave your message after the beep."
Jason (Logan's Lackey) is giving out orders and spins tales about Jack being crazy, insane, and a danger to the community. Well, he's probably right about that. Anyway, Chloe asks about why Jack was at the bank, but Jason dismisses it. Maybe he was applying for a loan? Chloe tries to talk to Arlo into forming yet another shadow conspiracy within CTU, but Arlo says no. He'll come around soon. Chloe can't do it by herself, you know.
Michael Madsen wants to know what's going on, and he sees through Jack's BS about wanting to bring everyone to justice. Finally, Jack comes clean and tells him that this whole thing is a revenge mission. That's good enough for Madsen, and he gives Jack info on the sniper. His name is Pavel Something-ov. Jack then asks for a secure line. Who's he gonna call? Not Ghostbusters, apparently. Instead, he calls the blonde reporter that hooked up with Hassan. She's back at work, and her editor is praising her for her very heartfelt tribute to Hassan. She praised him for his strength, vigor, and steady hand. She also talked about his skills as a president. Jack calls her and tells her about the video evidence, and wants her help in bringing the Russian Conspiracy to light.
Cole is back at CTU, and Jason starts to interrogate him. Cole asks Jason if he's part of the conspiracy, and Jason flinches. He tries to appeal to Cole by talking about their shared military history, but that doesn't seem to work. Jason then tells Cole that Jack used him, and Cole looks hurt. First Dana and now Jack. Cole needs to stop letting himself get used like that. Love yourself first, Cole. Jason gets a call on his Bluetooth (I'm guessing all bad guys on the show are contractually obligated to wear one), and finds out that Arlo has intercepted a call from Bauer to Reed. So much for that secure line. Jason then immediately pulls Arlo off the task, and tells him to hand everything over to "Eden" – Jason's hot aide. Chloe smirks knowingly in the background. Either because she knows she's about to get Arlo into her shadow conspiracy, or because Jason's aide is named "Eden." What is she? A stripper? Eden shows her skills by decrypting the call and forwarding it to Logan during the commercial break. That makes her twice as efficient as anyone working at CTU.
Jason is bullish about their chances of taking down Jack, and is quite proud of himself. Jason then sees Chloe, and wants Eden to make the room "less public." Maybe he wants a private dance? This isn't the champagne room, Jason. It's an office! One that might have a rotting corpse somewhere in the wall panels. Seriously, he hasn't started to smell yet? Chloe sways Arlo by asking why CTU hasn't put their agents in place, and contacted local authorities to apprehend Jack. Uh – maybe because they're utterly incompetent and completely powerless to stop Jack? Arlo finally agrees to help, and tells Chloe that Jason has everything completely monitored within CTU. Chloe pulls a page out of the Keanu Reeves playbook, and wants to patch a loop into the video feed so that she can talk to Cole. She only has 90 seconds to do this, however.
Cole is upset with Jack, and won't help Chloe. Guess that short-lived bromance is officially over. Chloe appeals to Cole's sense of duty, and Cole finally gives Chloe info about Madsen, although he doesn't know who he is. Logan is watching FOX News, and learns that President Suvarov is coming into JFK soon. He immediately calls Pavel, and tells him to take out Reed as well. President Taylor and President-Select Hassan are going over the notes of the agreement, and Taylor excuses herself to talk to Logan. "We have an operation underway to reacquire him," Logan says. I love the way these people use euphemisms. Anyway, Logan wants credit for his role, and Taylor agrees. She should have used the "You played a role" line that Logan used on President Palmer in Season 4. That would have been awesome.
Reed is at the rendezvous point, and she somehow fails to notice all the people talking in Russian around her. Jack tries to shadow himself behind a tall guy, but he soon gets made by Jason, who is watching the live feed. Jason freaks out and yells at the Russians to take him out, but they can't get a clear shot on him. Finally, Pavel thinks he has a shot, but wouldn't you know it? Madsen sneaks up behind him and neutralizes him. (see, I can use euphemisms, too!) Jason sees Jack leave with Reed, and he orders the Russians to take him out. Jack then draws them into a firefight, and I think the Russians haven't been this big of an underdog since the gold medal game in basketball during the 1972 Olympics. Jack easily escapes, and Jason is finally starting to realize what he's gotten himself into. Not so smug now, are we?
Logan is picking out ties (and he even has each one of them shrink-wrapped in plastic – surely that says something about him) when he gets the bad news from Jason. Logan is not happy about this, but Jason tries to spin it by saying that Logan still has complete deniability. Jason advises Logan to "distance" himself. Logan doesn't want to "distance" himself, and seems sick of the euphemisms. "You keep using that phrase! What does that mean?" he wants to know. Anyway, Logan is not about to retreat, not when he's about to rehabilitate his image in one fell swoop. Logan wants Jason to "neutralize" Jack. Hey! That's my euphemism! Jason and Eden seem resigned to failure, but Jason wants to give it one last go. He's going to take a CTU swat team and set up a perimeter around the store. That'll be his second mistake.
Arlo thinks he can figure out who Jack is working with, and I have a sinking suspicion he's going to tell Jason about it. Jack takes Pavel into a warehouse, and decides to have some fun with him. Reed is upset because Jack used her, just like he used Cole. He's just using people left and right, isn't he? He's just a big old user! Jack ties Pavel up and wants to know who he's working for. Pavel tells him to go to hell, but Jack shows that he still has an impeccable sense of black-comedic timing when says "You first."
Reed is watching the video footage while Madsen keeps an eye on her. Jack tells Pavel that Renee was more than a friend, but Pavel already knows that because he's a voyeur. Jack asks him about his performance, and Pavel says something to the effect of how Jack must be like Superman because he was faster than a speeding bullet. Jack takes exception to that, and starts beating Pavel relentlessly before stumbling backwards. Jack seems to regret his actions, and looks like he's on the verge of breaking down. Well, so much for that. Jack goes back to Pavel and starts slicing him up. He takes a page out of Madsen's playbook, and squirts gasoline on Pavel's wounds. Maybe he should try slicing off an ear while dancing to bad 70s music.
It's blowtorch time, but Pavel stands up to that, too. Finally, he grabs Pavel's phone and realizes the SIM card is missing. He figures that Pavel must have swallowed it, so he decides to perform some impromptu surgery. Man, the lengths people go to to avoid re-entering all your contacts. Jack gets the card, and calls the last number. It's Logan's voicemail, although it's the automated variety. That's too bad. I was hoping Logan would have a greeting like "This is President Charles Logan. I'm sorry I missed your call, but I'm busy engaging in treasonous activities and capital crimes that could get me thrown in prison for the rest of my life, or worse. Please leave your message after the beep."
Labels: 24, alcoholic drinks, books, death, games, history, jack bauer, jason, maxed-out tags limit, michael, movies, news, palmer, phone calls, sports, stephen, teresa, tv shows, videos, visitors
posted by Flami at 10:06:00 PM
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