Te'quandris, Thurston, Trilogy, and Twylen

Not impressed with the timing of this restart. I was merrily going through my comments, with not much time left before I had to leave! UGH!

This is from What Not to Name Your Baby by Joe Borgenicht.

T

Tag: German for "day." The appropriate way to praise your child with this name for good behavior is "Guten, Tag!"

Talon: The sharp, pointed claw on a bird of prey's foot used to capture and kill hapless rodents. Also, a short-lived, American-made, poor man's sports car.

Tanner: One who skins and cures the hides of animals while in the sun, without wearing sunscreen.

Tat: Short form of "tattoo," a type of permanent ink decoration applied to the skin, most often adopted while intoxicated and then regretted for the rest of one's life.

Taz: A cartoon devil that whirls around, wreaking havoc.

Te'quandria: Early cousin of a popular Mexican alcohol that was quickly phased out after makers realized that it just confused consumers.

Teter: A tendency to wobble. Also, half a piece of playground equipment.

Thor: Norse god of thunder. Also, a blond, dress-wearing superhero who fought the forces of evil with a hammer.

Thurston: Island-dwelling husband of Lovey who continued to wear his pith helmet and ascot episode after episode.

Tiki Lou: A portly, poorly-kept gentleman who runs the local Hawaiian-themed bar.

Titus: A Roman senator and protagonist of a Shakespearean tragedy. Also, an uptight annoying little prig.

Toah: Oah Noah, I think I broke my toah!

Travis: A country singer destined to make a couple of bucks singing about his life in the trailer park.

Trey: Middle English "three." Cursed with a third nipple, making junior high gym class excruciating.

Trezor: Major advance in shaving technology utilizing three blades.

Trilogy: A group of three. Destined for performance anxiety issues.

Tristan: Cross-dressing pop diva and expert on all things Cher. Goes by Trista on Thursday nights.

Truck: Slow to accelerate and hard to stop once moving. This names is not recommended unless you know CB lingo such as "ten-four," "ten-twenty," "smoky on my tail," and "good buddy."

Tucomah: A premature ejaculator.

Tugdick: A baseball player who will never make it past the minor leagues.

Tut: Short form of Tutankhamen, king of Egypt from 1361-1352 BC. Famous only because his survivors forgot where they buried him. He's our favorite honky.

Twylen: B-grade country singer obsessed with losing his horse.

Tyathos: An artificial feta alternative sold in bulk at Costco.

Tylen: The act of laying tile.

Tylier: A French grout designer.

Tyre: To grow bored or impatient. Chronically exhausted. Also, the covering of a wheel made out of rubber and filled with compressed air. A child with this name is destined to suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder and flatulence.

Tyreek: A home improvement handyman who didn't shower for day two.


U

Udolf (YOU-dolf) - Little-known German politician overshadowed alphabetically by his cousin.

Ugo (YOU-go) - Small Yugoslavian motor vehicle known for being underpowered and unreliable.

Uilliam (WILL-yum) - Child will be doomed to a lifetime of being confused with a certain item on the periodic table of elements.

Ukiah (you-KE-uh) - Child may be confused with a Chevrolet SUV.

Ulysses: The hero of Homer's Odyssey. The given name of the most drunken president in the history of the United States.

Urban: One who dwells within a city or densely populated area. A true metrosexual.

Utah: A state known for its pioneer spirit, radical religious beliefs, and the saltiest stagnant pond in the world.

Uzi (OO-zee) - An Israeli-made submachine gun popular for its compact size. Also, to fester with pus. "This scab on my knee is all Uzi!"