Pets, cars, snakes, hamsters, and oil

This thing restarted AGAIN, but at least I have five more games in hand now!

These tips are from The Husband Book: A Guy's Guide To Marriage by Harry Harrison Junior, which I plan to give to my brother for his wedding.

Pets

If your dog seems to love her more, it's because dogs aren't stupid.

If she can't watch her kids get a shot, she won't be able to watch her pet get one either.

If you find yourself spending more money on the pet's food than your food, it's time to have a talk.

She will always side with the dog.

The dog will figure this out.

If you get two pets and one of them is hers and one of them is yours, guess which pet sleeps in the bedroom.


Her Car

Don't let her drive the oldest car in the garage. Either you drive it or get a new one.

Let her pick out her own car. Help only if asked.

Reset her car clock as daylight savings time comes and goes.

If you have small kids, it will be better for everyone if you never look in her backseat.

Check the air in her tires.

Make sure she gets her oil changed every three thousand miles.

Drive her car every three or four months to see if, for some unexplained reason, the wheels need to be aligned. Quietly take care of it.

The garage wall will, every now and then, reach out and hit her car. It's the garage's fault, of course.

She will put the most expensive gas in her car, required or not.

Behind every woman in a clean car is a man with a chamois.

You may love your '84 diesel Mercedes, but she'd rather walk than drive it.