Wikipedia, voodoo, Blind Melon, and barfights / Outback Steakhouse Ranch Salad Dressing

Choose a random topic in your head, then go to Wikipedia and click "random article." You have to get to your topic by clicking six links or fewer, starting with that article.

Goal: Hockey.

After clicking on the random article link, I got:

1. Estadio Ebal Rodríguez
2. Stadiums
3. Sport
4. Olympics
5. Winter Olympic Games
6. Hockey

Weird, right?


Today's Ritualistic Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

James Smith, executed by lethal injection (Texas, 1990) actually requested a "lump of dirt" for his final meal. Convicted of murdering an insurance agent, Smith was once a Tarot card reader in New Orleans. The lump of dirt was reported to be a vital ingredient in a voodoo ritual. Smith's request was denied, and he settled for yogurt instead.

Culled from: Last Suppers: Famous Final Meals From Death Row

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This cracks me up. Apparently, the prison wardens really believed that if they gave the guy a lump of dirt, he'd put a hex on them or something!

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Morbid Lyric Du Jour!

Ana has a morbid lyric to contribute:

"The band Blind Melon, known mostly for the hit song No Rain (you know, with the crazy bee girl) had a wonderful song on their second album Soup in homage to everyone's favorite psychopath, Ed Gein. The song is entitled Skinned. The upbeat pseudo-country lyrics are as follows:

Skinned

I'll make a shoehorn outta your skin
I'll make a lampshade of durable skin
And oh, don't you know that I'm always feelin' able
When I'm sittin' home and I'm carving out your navel

When will I realize that this skin I'm in
Hey, it isn't mine
And when will the kill be too much meat for me to hide on

Hey, I could really use a couple of hands
To complete one hell of a plant stand
Oh, and don't you know that I'm caught here in the middle
Making rib cages into coffee tables
I'm just makin' em into coffee tables

And when I realize that this skin I'm in
Hey, it isn't mine
And when will the thrill be too much meat for me to find anymore

Oh, because you know I can't hide
But oh how hard I try
But this is just the shape I'm in, oh yeah
And though you know I can't hide
But oh how hard I try
But this is just the shape I'm in.

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"My Brush With Morbidity" by Patrick

"I was eleven years old or so. We lived in St. Petersburg, Florida, in a suburb called Pinellas Park. Usually, after school, I would walk down to a pool hall that had Asteroids (showing my age, I know) and other video games. It allowed minors in before 8 PM, when the hardcore players and drinkers started roaming in. The place was called Skips, and I knew the owner very well, he often let me sweep up and empty ashtrays for a buck or two. It was in a strip mall next to a laundromat and a slimy check cashing place, about two miles from Hubert Rutland Hospital.

"As I rounded the corner, I could hear yelling and arguing about something... I'm still not sure what. There were two white guys, both wearing blue jeans and orange T-shirts, that looked like they stepped out of a redneck episode of Cops, standing toe-to-toe and screaming curse words at each other. They both had tans like they worked outside, the tall one had blond hair and was clean-shaven, and the shorter one had red hair and a beard. The taller one punched the other guy in the face and dropped him like a rock. He kicked him in the ribs and the face about three times, then two other guys pulled him off him and took him back into the bar. As I stood there, they helped the other guy to his feet, and he looked like a train wreck: his face was all bloody, and his lips were smashed and swollen. Apparently, he was going to his truck and leave, or so we all thought.

"The one guy came out of the bar with his friends in tow and headed back towards the other guy, I suppose to finish the job or something. I was standing about eight to ten feet behind the guy coming out of the bar and as I watched, guy number two stepped out of his truck carrying a single-barrel shotgun cradled in his arms. Before anyone could even react, he pointed the gun directly at the other guy and pulled the trigger. I don't know what kind of shot was in the gun, or how big it was, but it took the top of his head above the eyes right off, and splattered me and two other guys with brains and blood. I stood there in shock, not moving, as the guy hopped in his truck and sped off. The first guy's name was Barry or Larry, because that's what this girl was screaming over and over. I stood there watching this huge pool of blood from underneath this guy form, and within seconds, the cops showed up. They must have been called before the shooting and during the fight.

"I never really got the full story of why it happened, because I was just a kid. The cops just asked me a few questions, called my parents and stuck me in a squad car until my parents arrived, then I was sent home to get cleaned up. I never had nightmares about it, nor was it talked about at the bar, because I didn't know anyone there that day. But I told that story to everyone I knew a hundred times: how the hot blood splattered my face, and the bits of brain tissue were pink and white on my chest, and how it dried brown and yellow on my shirt and pants. I begged my mom to leave the stains in and let me wear them to school, but to no avail. Ah well, such is the life of a minor in the city!"

Now, that's more than just a BRUSH with morbidity - that's a SPLATTER!


Outback Steakhouse Ranch Salad Dressing

This always-popular growing restaurant chain makes a tasty version of creamy ranch dressing for its house and Queensland salads. To get the same unique flavor and creaminess of the original at home, mates, you'll need just one teaspoon of Hidden Valley ranch salad dressing mix swimming in there with the mayo and buttermilk and other spices. Since there are three teaspoons of dressing mix per packet, you'll be able to stretch one envelope three times as far, by crackey!

1 teaspoon Hidden Valley Ranch salad dressing mix (buttermilk recipe)
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/4 teaspoon coarse grind black pepper
1/8 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder

1. Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl. Mix well.
2. Cover bowl and chill dressing for at least 30 minutes before serving. Makes 1 1/2 cups.