Microwaving babies / Crab jokes / Sherry enemas / Nabisco Cheese Nips
Apparently, I'm going to the States tomorrow - yeehaw!
Today's Hyperthermic Yet Truly Morbid Fact!
A mother was arrested on suspicion of murdering her newborn daughter by microwaving the baby in an oven. China Arnold, 26, was jailed Monday on a charge of aggravated murder, more than a year after she brought her dead month-old baby to a hospital. Bail was set Tuesday at $1 million. "We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death," said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner's office. He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby. Arnold was arrested soon after the baby's death in August 2005, then was released while authorities investigated further. Betz said the case was difficult because "there is not a lot of scientific research and data on the effect of microwaves on human beings." The death was ruled homicide by hyperthermia, or high body temperature. The absence of external burns ruled out an open flame, scalding water, or a heating pad as the cause. Arnold's lawyer, Jon Paul Rion, said his client had nothing to do with her child's death. "She has no idea how such an act could occur," Rion said. The night before the baby was taken to the hospital, Arnold and the child's father went out for a short time and left Paris with a babysitter, Rion said. The mother didn't sense anything out of the ordinary until the next morning, when the child was found unconscious, Rion said. Arnold has three other children.
Culled from: The Associated Press
Generously donated by: Paradox
**********************************************************************
(China AND Paris?!)
I must sadly inform you that the Comtesse is leaving town for a DeSpair family reunion through the end of the month. Yes, the April showers will be a bit less uplifting as the MFDJ is on hiatus. I hope you don't suffer tooooo much, and perhaps I'll have some interesting tales when I return. One never knows...
*******
Morbid Mirth Du Jour!
Purple Jade sends a joke:
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."
"Well, tell me!" the man said.
The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said: "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."
"Oh my God!" said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked: "What's the good news?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up, she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her."
"If that's the good news, than what's the great news?!" Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."
*******
Update Du Jour!
A while back (December 14th to be precise), I featured the following fact:
A woman has been indicted on negligent homicide charges for allegedly giving her husband a sherry enema that killed him. Michael Warner, 58, died in May 2004 after the enema caused his blood-alcohol level to rise to .47 percent. "That's extremely high," Detective Lt. Robert Turner said. "You're either going to be in the hospital or the funeral home with that much alcohol." Tammy Warner, 42, was indicted last week. Turner said Michael Warner was an alcoholic who could not swallow liquor because of ulcers and heartburn. "He was told that he could not drink alcohol or that he would die, according to the people that we interviewed," Turner said. "We are going to prove that she gave him the sherry and that she knew that he wasn't supposed to have any and that it could be detrimental to his health, and that she gave it to him anyway."
NeoGeisha has an interesting snippet about this fact to share with us all:
"This incident was 'chronicled,' I guess you'd say, in a new-ish comic called Fell by Warren Ellis and art by Ben Templesmith. All of the comics so far have dealt with nasty little crimes like this one, and they're all really cheap, as in about $1.99 apiece. They're short, but the art and the story make up for it."
Best of all, I was able to find the comic in question online so we can all enjoy it. It's a great little read!
A mom named China with a daughter named Paris - oh sure, just continue the name trend with the next generation! *sigh*
Nabisco Cheese Nips
Here's a clone recipe that gets one very important ingredient from another packaged product. The powdered cheese included in the Kraft instant macaroni & cheese kits flavors this homegrown version of the popular bright orange crackers. You'll need a can of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Cheese Topping or two boxes of the most inexpensive instant variety of macaroni & cheese; you know, the kind with the cheese powder. Two boxes will give you enough cheese to make 300 crackers. As for the macaroni left over in the box, just use that for another recipe requiring elbow macaroni.
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour (plus 1/2 cup divided and reserved for kneading and rolling)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Cheese Topping powder (or 2 packages dry cheese powder from 2 boxes Kraft macaroni & cheese)
3 tablespoons shortening
1/3 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon salt (for tops, optional)
1. Sift together 1 cup flour, baking soda, baking powder, and cheese powder in a large bowl.
2. Cut in the shortening with a fork and knife with a crosswise motion until dough is broken down into rice-size pieces. Mixture will still be very dry.
3. Stir in buttermilk with a fork until dough becomes very moist and sticky.
4. Sprinkle a couple tablespoons of the reserved flour over the dough and work it in until the dough can be handled without sticking, then turn it out onto a floured board, being sure to keep 1/4 cup of the reserve flour for later. Knead the dough well for 60 to 90 seconds, until the flour is well incorporated. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and chill for at least one hour.
5. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray a light coating of cooking spray on a baking sheet.
6. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and use the remaining reserve flour to dust a rolling surface. Roll about one-third of the dough to just under 1/16th of inch thick. Trim the edges square (a pizza cutter or wheel works great for this), then transfer the dough to a lightly greased baking sheet. Use the rolling pin to transfer the dough. Simply pick up one end of the dough onto a rolling pin, and roll the dough around the rolling pin. Reverse the process onto the baking sheet to transfer the dough.
7. Use a pizza cutter to cut across and down the dough, creating 1-inch square pieces. Use the blunt end of a skewer or broken toothpick to poke a hole in the center of each piece.
8. Sprinkle a very light coating of salt over the top of the crackers (crackers will already be quite salty) and bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Mix the crackers around (so those on the edge don't burn) and bake for another 3 to 5 minutes, or until some are just barely turning a light brown. Repeat the rolling and baking process with the remaining dough. Makes approximately 300 crackers.
No, I am NOT doing the underwear survey that they have! :P
Today's Hyperthermic Yet Truly Morbid Fact!
A mother was arrested on suspicion of murdering her newborn daughter by microwaving the baby in an oven. China Arnold, 26, was jailed Monday on a charge of aggravated murder, more than a year after she brought her dead month-old baby to a hospital. Bail was set Tuesday at $1 million. "We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death," said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner's office. He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby. Arnold was arrested soon after the baby's death in August 2005, then was released while authorities investigated further. Betz said the case was difficult because "there is not a lot of scientific research and data on the effect of microwaves on human beings." The death was ruled homicide by hyperthermia, or high body temperature. The absence of external burns ruled out an open flame, scalding water, or a heating pad as the cause. Arnold's lawyer, Jon Paul Rion, said his client had nothing to do with her child's death. "She has no idea how such an act could occur," Rion said. The night before the baby was taken to the hospital, Arnold and the child's father went out for a short time and left Paris with a babysitter, Rion said. The mother didn't sense anything out of the ordinary until the next morning, when the child was found unconscious, Rion said. Arnold has three other children.
Culled from: The Associated Press
Generously donated by: Paradox
**********************************************************************
(China AND Paris?!)
I must sadly inform you that the Comtesse is leaving town for a DeSpair family reunion through the end of the month. Yes, the April showers will be a bit less uplifting as the MFDJ is on hiatus. I hope you don't suffer tooooo much, and perhaps I'll have some interesting tales when I return. One never knows...
*******
Morbid Mirth Du Jour!
Purple Jade sends a joke:
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."
"Well, tell me!" the man said.
The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said: "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."
"Oh my God!" said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked: "What's the good news?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up, she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her."
"If that's the good news, than what's the great news?!" Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."
*******
Update Du Jour!
A while back (December 14th to be precise), I featured the following fact:
A woman has been indicted on negligent homicide charges for allegedly giving her husband a sherry enema that killed him. Michael Warner, 58, died in May 2004 after the enema caused his blood-alcohol level to rise to .47 percent. "That's extremely high," Detective Lt. Robert Turner said. "You're either going to be in the hospital or the funeral home with that much alcohol." Tammy Warner, 42, was indicted last week. Turner said Michael Warner was an alcoholic who could not swallow liquor because of ulcers and heartburn. "He was told that he could not drink alcohol or that he would die, according to the people that we interviewed," Turner said. "We are going to prove that she gave him the sherry and that she knew that he wasn't supposed to have any and that it could be detrimental to his health, and that she gave it to him anyway."
NeoGeisha has an interesting snippet about this fact to share with us all:
"This incident was 'chronicled,' I guess you'd say, in a new-ish comic called Fell by Warren Ellis and art by Ben Templesmith. All of the comics so far have dealt with nasty little crimes like this one, and they're all really cheap, as in about $1.99 apiece. They're short, but the art and the story make up for it."
Best of all, I was able to find the comic in question online so we can all enjoy it. It's a great little read!
A mom named China with a daughter named Paris - oh sure, just continue the name trend with the next generation! *sigh*
Nabisco Cheese Nips
Here's a clone recipe that gets one very important ingredient from another packaged product. The powdered cheese included in the Kraft instant macaroni & cheese kits flavors this homegrown version of the popular bright orange crackers. You'll need a can of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Cheese Topping or two boxes of the most inexpensive instant variety of macaroni & cheese; you know, the kind with the cheese powder. Two boxes will give you enough cheese to make 300 crackers. As for the macaroni left over in the box, just use that for another recipe requiring elbow macaroni.
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour (plus 1/2 cup divided and reserved for kneading and rolling)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Cheese Topping powder (or 2 packages dry cheese powder from 2 boxes Kraft macaroni & cheese)
3 tablespoons shortening
1/3 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon salt (for tops, optional)
1. Sift together 1 cup flour, baking soda, baking powder, and cheese powder in a large bowl.
2. Cut in the shortening with a fork and knife with a crosswise motion until dough is broken down into rice-size pieces. Mixture will still be very dry.
3. Stir in buttermilk with a fork until dough becomes very moist and sticky.
4. Sprinkle a couple tablespoons of the reserved flour over the dough and work it in until the dough can be handled without sticking, then turn it out onto a floured board, being sure to keep 1/4 cup of the reserve flour for later. Knead the dough well for 60 to 90 seconds, until the flour is well incorporated. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and chill for at least one hour.
5. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray a light coating of cooking spray on a baking sheet.
6. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and use the remaining reserve flour to dust a rolling surface. Roll about one-third of the dough to just under 1/16th of inch thick. Trim the edges square (a pizza cutter or wheel works great for this), then transfer the dough to a lightly greased baking sheet. Use the rolling pin to transfer the dough. Simply pick up one end of the dough onto a rolling pin, and roll the dough around the rolling pin. Reverse the process onto the baking sheet to transfer the dough.
7. Use a pizza cutter to cut across and down the dough, creating 1-inch square pieces. Use the blunt end of a skewer or broken toothpick to poke a hole in the center of each piece.
8. Sprinkle a very light coating of salt over the top of the crackers (crackers will already be quite salty) and bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Mix the crackers around (so those on the edge don't burn) and bake for another 3 to 5 minutes, or until some are just barely turning a light brown. Repeat the rolling and baking process with the remaining dough. Makes approximately 300 crackers.
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No, I am NOT doing the underwear survey that they have! :P
Labels: 2004, 2005, alcoholic drinks, babies, coincidences, comics, death, jokes, jon, mark, maxed-out tags limit, michael, morbid, paul, pizza, quizopolis, recipes, surveys, us, water
posted by Flami at 12:40:00 AM
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