Reason, Season, or Lifetime Friendship? / Right or Well?
Since I'm still up, here are two thought-provoking things I thought I'd share. (kinda like Jeremy, heh) The first one is courtesy of my friend Julie from a certain message board, and I forgot where I originally saw the second one.
Reason, Season, or Lifetime Friendship?
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty / to provide you with guidance and support / to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met and our desire fulfilled... their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
RIGHT OR WELL?
I heard a funny story about a cowboy who ambled into the local blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped the hot shoe, shoved his seared hand into his pocket and tried to act nonchalant.
The blacksmith half-smiled and asked, "Kinda hot, wasn't it?"
"Nope," replied the cowboy, "just don't take me long to look at a horseshoe, that's all."
I chuckle at the story because it illustrates the widespread truth that most of us have difficulty admitting mistakes. But even more compelling is our almost universal urge to be right.
I learned of one particular minister who left his pulpit to go to medical school and become a doctor. An old friend saw him several years later and expressed surprise at his career change, but said he assumed it had been because he could care for people in a more concrete way now that he was practicing medicine.
"Not at all," the doctor responded honestly, "the reasons were purely economic. I discovered that people will pay more money to care for their bodies than for their souls."
Several years lapsed before the friend saw him again and discovered that he had left medicine for law. "What was your reason this time?" the friend asked.
"Simple economics again," replied the ex-minister, ex-doctor attorney. "I learned that people will pay more to prove they are right than to care for either body or soul."
This man discovered something peculiar about human nature. People want to be RIGHT. In conflict, most folks want to come out on top. When they are wronged, they want justice. If no justice is forthcoming, they lament about the unfairness of it all and brood in righteous indignation. Many people will go to great lengths to prove they are right -- and at tremendous cost, not only financially, but in other ways.
Being the "injured party" exacts a high toll on physical and emotional health. Some people pay dearly to be right. They stew about the injustice, and it eats away their stomachs in ulcers. While they wait for an apology or to be vindicated, they grow resentful and bitter. They obsess on the cause of their pain and allow it to rob them of one of their most valuable assets -- their happiness. In the end, some people discover they paid far too high a price to be right.
The only solution, of course, is to let it go. For it often comes down to one simple and poignant question: Do You Want To Be Right Or Well? Truth is, too often you can't be both. But when you let go of being right, you can get on with healing. Let go of being right and you can finally live fully and happily in the present.
Do you want to be right or well? That may just be one of the most important questions you ever answer.
© 2001 Steve Goodier
I would definitely want to be well, and not obsess about being right or vindicated. It's not easy, though. Simply letting go of certain things is easier said than done in some cases. It's hard to relinquish what you see as your entitlement to being correct, or indeed to let go of certain things.. but in my opinion, there is a time when you have to do so.
Reason, Season, or Lifetime Friendship?
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty / to provide you with guidance and support / to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met and our desire fulfilled... their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
RIGHT OR WELL?
I heard a funny story about a cowboy who ambled into the local blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped the hot shoe, shoved his seared hand into his pocket and tried to act nonchalant.
The blacksmith half-smiled and asked, "Kinda hot, wasn't it?"
"Nope," replied the cowboy, "just don't take me long to look at a horseshoe, that's all."
I chuckle at the story because it illustrates the widespread truth that most of us have difficulty admitting mistakes. But even more compelling is our almost universal urge to be right.
I learned of one particular minister who left his pulpit to go to medical school and become a doctor. An old friend saw him several years later and expressed surprise at his career change, but said he assumed it had been because he could care for people in a more concrete way now that he was practicing medicine.
"Not at all," the doctor responded honestly, "the reasons were purely economic. I discovered that people will pay more money to care for their bodies than for their souls."
Several years lapsed before the friend saw him again and discovered that he had left medicine for law. "What was your reason this time?" the friend asked.
"Simple economics again," replied the ex-minister, ex-doctor attorney. "I learned that people will pay more to prove they are right than to care for either body or soul."
This man discovered something peculiar about human nature. People want to be RIGHT. In conflict, most folks want to come out on top. When they are wronged, they want justice. If no justice is forthcoming, they lament about the unfairness of it all and brood in righteous indignation. Many people will go to great lengths to prove they are right -- and at tremendous cost, not only financially, but in other ways.
Being the "injured party" exacts a high toll on physical and emotional health. Some people pay dearly to be right. They stew about the injustice, and it eats away their stomachs in ulcers. While they wait for an apology or to be vindicated, they grow resentful and bitter. They obsess on the cause of their pain and allow it to rob them of one of their most valuable assets -- their happiness. In the end, some people discover they paid far too high a price to be right.
The only solution, of course, is to let it go. For it often comes down to one simple and poignant question: Do You Want To Be Right Or Well? Truth is, too often you can't be both. But when you let go of being right, you can get on with healing. Let go of being right and you can finally live fully and happily in the present.
Do you want to be right or well? That may just be one of the most important questions you ever answer.
© 2001 Steve Goodier
I would definitely want to be well, and not obsess about being right or vindicated. It's not easy, though. Simply letting go of certain things is easier said than done in some cases. It's hard to relinquish what you see as your entitlement to being correct, or indeed to let go of certain things.. but in my opinion, there is a time when you have to do so.
Labels: 2001, friends, jeremy, julie, life, money, our place, parties, steve
posted by Flami at 3:37:00 AM
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