Buttsex / A Woman's Prayer / Odd Song Titles

[23:00:45] AlenaBrolxFlami: ah yes.. if you tell yourself something enough times, you'll start to believe it.. that, or she's somewhat delusional :P
[23:14:03] mrptptpt: probably a little from column a, a little more from column b :P
[23:26:32] AlenaBrolxFlami: haha... well, you'd know her much better than I do :P all I know is what you tell me, and it's not looking that great :P
[23:27:46] mrptptpt: at the moment she's talking about getting surgery so she can "bang you [me] in the booty"
[23:32:58] AlenaBrolxFlami: um... er... :-X :O aiya!
[23:34:15] mrptptpt: yeah, I don't think I'm exactly into that
[23:47:38] mrptptpt: I know you are, but not me :P
[23:50:25] AlenaBrolxFlami: AIYA
[23:50:35] AlenaBrolxFlami: what makes you think I'm into that?!
[23:52:09] mrptptpt: well, you were going to have buttsex, remember? :P
[23:53:07] AlenaBrolxFlami: I WAS NOT!
[23:53:18] AlenaBrolxFlami: Who would I have buttsex with?! :P
[23:56:07] mrptptpt: nobody currently, I guess :P
[23:58:02] AlenaBrolxFlami: no, not currently... and not in the past either...
[23:59:28] mrptptpt: oh, I bet you could have :P
[00:00:18] AlenaBrolxFlami: with Stephen?!
[00:00:39] mrptptpt: no, with the guy you actually did stuff with! :P
[00:02:35] AlenaBrolxFlami: oh, Mr. Two-Names :P I don't think it would have been an option, really :P
[00:06:02] mrptptpt: why not? :P
[00:07:56] AlenaBrolxFlami: that would have been even more uncomfortable :P
[00:13:32] mrptptpt: but I bet you could have had the option if you wanted to
[00:15:24] AlenaBrolxFlami: I don't know if it would have been against the "rules" that he has / had with his long-distance girls :P
[00:16:46] mrptptpt: well, who knows :P
[00:17:54] AlenaBrolxFlami: I don't.. and he's not online to ask anyhow.. maybe later :P
[00:25:09] mrptptpt: oh well....
[00:25:41] AlenaBrolxFlami: yeah, not much to be done about it..
[00:26:19] mrptptpt: so when are you going to get a bunch of long distance girlfriends?
[00:26:56] AlenaBrolxFlami: um, it's not likely seeing as I'm not into that kind of thing :P
[00:33:39] mrptptpt: well, you have to anyway
[00:33:46] mrptptpt: you don't have to like it
[00:34:17] AlenaBrolxFlami: uh... says who?
[00:35:27] mrptptpt: just me :P
[00:35:49] AlenaBrolxFlami: oh gee, that's reassuring :P I thought you'd actually have backup :P
[00:39:02] mrptptpt: I'll go ask the intergalactic council for Leslie having long distance girlfriends tomorrow
[00:45:34] AlenaBrolxFlami: haha, you go ahead and do that :P
[00:46:23] mrptptpt: I'll try to
[00:48:10] AlenaBrolxFlami: heh, we'll see how much influence you have.
[00:52:01] mrptptpt: I'm the head of the council!
[00:52:22] mrptptpt: I made it up, so I get to lead it
[00:52:46] AlenaBrolxFlami: that's awfully impartial :P
[00:54:20] mrptptpt: well, we'll see what the other members have to say
[00:54:47] AlenaBrolxFlami: ha, okay
[00:55:59] mrptptpt: I think they'll say you should do it
[00:56:18] AlenaBrolxFlami: and if I don't want to?
[00:57:29] mrptptpt: well, then what happens is they tell all their alien friends that you're not very cooperative, and then you won't be invited onto their ships to learn about the universe and to see cool space technology and other worlds
[00:57:50] mrptptpt: you'll just get put on the list to be buttraped by those aliens that just give people anal probes and send them home again
[00:59:17] AlenaBrolxFlami: aiya
[01:00:43] mrptptpt: so it's not a bad idea to go along with their decision
[01:01:15] AlenaBrolxFlami: hm
[01:03:47] mrptptpt: if they take you around the universe... it's pretty cool, you know
[01:04:04] mrptptpt: it's probably worth being with girls even if you're not into it :P
[01:04:42] AlenaBrolxFlami: hahaha
[01:17:14] mrptptpt: well, when else are you going to get to do that?
[01:20:43] AlenaBrolxFlami: what, the alien thing? dunno..
[01:25:48] mrptptpt: well... going around the universe anytime, aliens or not :P
[01:26:30] AlenaBrolxFlami: ah yes. maybe I'll dream about it... since I'm falling asleep here... goodnight and talk to you later
[01:28:26] mrptptpt: if you dream about it, that's just your brain trying to rationalize what's happening as a dream :P
[01:28:52] mrptptpt: goodnight though :P talk to you later :D
[01:34:23] AlenaBrolxFlami: haha, I know :P later. :D

---

A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord,
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and
Patience, For his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

---

Some of these are from the band Anal Cunt. :P

Anything Jesus Does, I Can Do Better
Backbones Of Jackasses
Earwax Halo Manufactured For The Champion In All Of Us
File Under "Softcore Seizures"
Flight of the Wounded Locust
Get Off The Cross, The Wood Is Needed
Gluing Carpet To Your Genitals Does Not Make You A Cantaloupe
Halo of Pubic Hair and Earwax
How To Become A Virgin
How to Build a Pessimistic Lie Detector
Identity Exchange Program Rectum Return Policy
Siphoning Projectiles During Selected Amnesia
Sperm Donor
Spitting In The Face Of Fools As A Source Of Nutrition
Teenage Mustache
The Half-Eaten Sausage Would Like To See You In His Office
This Is Radio Surgery
Twenty-Three Full-Time Cowboys
Twenty-Three Lubed Up Schizophrenics With Delusions Of Grandeur
Well I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle
Wet Nurse Syndrome Hand Me Down Display Case
Priest with the Sexually-Transmitted Diseases Get Out of My Bed
You Suck at Life, and I'm Not Talking About the Board Game
Fuck Her Like You Paid For It
A Lubricated Rubber Glove and Pornographic Photos of a Decapitated Chinese Hooker
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom
Mammal Sauce
Kinky Sex Makes the World Go Round
Night of the Living Rednecks
Lesbian Eskimo Midget Left-Handed Ninja Albino
Sunshine the Werewolf
Kill Your Mother, Rape Your Fucking Dog
Vomiting the Fetal Embryo
The Marlboro Man is a Douche Bag
Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Title Of This Song So We Wouldn't Be Sued
Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends
I've Got A Dark Alley, And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth
I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy, And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me (guess who sings that one)
Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over
Everybody Thinks I'm A Raincloud (When I'm Not Looking)
Severed Ties Yield Severed Heads
Wet Dream War Machine
Who Wants a Dose of the Clap
Brand New Set of Teeth
Talking Shit About A Pretty Sunset
Until Morale Improves, The Beatings Will Continue
Loved Ones (Excerpts from Speeches of How Great You Were and Will Never Be Again)
Like A Train Through A Pigeon
My First Christmas As a Woman
Hey Santa Claus You Fucking Cunt
Don't Make Me Get My Fat & Lazy Ass Off This Couch
If The Government Could Read My Mind