Butt Rot and Bottom Gas - the introduction!
I'll bring you the introduction from this book that Jon and Harmony got me for my birthday. This is from Butt Rot and Bottom Gas: A Glossary of Tragically Misunderstood Words (Eric Groves, Sr.)
The English language is full of misunderstood words.
Consider great tits. I adore great tits, especially when fully mature. I recently spent three weeks backpacking through Europe on a quest to photograph great tits in their natural environment. I returned home with hundreds of documentary photographs, all painstakingly labeled. Unfortunately, my work was confiscated at the airport by U.S. Customs; it seems that importing photographs of great tits is against the law.
Great tits is just one example of what I call a pseudo-imprecation ... a word or term that sounds obscene, but is not. Most birdwatchers know that great tits are charming and sprightly songbirds that live throughout Europe and Asia. But to the average American, the term great tits evokes a different connotation. And this ignorance comes with a hefty price tag.
Every year, pseudo-imprecations cause Americans to waste thousands of hours and millions of dollars. Stockbrokers who suggest that colleagues try naked shorting have been charged with sexual harassment. Farmers growing nipplefruit and horny goat weed have been investigated by the FBI. Some of our finest senior citizens have been sedated - or worse - simply for describing themselves as sexagenarians.
It is time to take a stand. It is time to set the record straight. From arsole to bushmaster to cunt splice, dandy cock, and beyond, Butt Rot and Bottom Gas gathers hundreds of misunderstood words and reveals their true meanings. Whenever possible, the definitions have been supplemented by an elucidating illustration or a famous quotation that uses the word in its proper context.
If we work together, we can save hundreds of good, clean, eloquent words from needless desecration. The first step is to read this book carefully, study the definitions, and share them with your loved ones. The second step is to use these words in casual conversation as often as possible. Ask a waiter if his restaurant serves slippery dick. Ask a tourist if she speaks Anal. Celebrate the Feast of the Ass by inviting your friends and family to your home on January 14, and spend the day snacking on butt roast and monkey nuts.
Through education and exposure, we can make a difference.
-- Eric Groves, Sr.
The English language is full of misunderstood words.
Consider great tits. I adore great tits, especially when fully mature. I recently spent three weeks backpacking through Europe on a quest to photograph great tits in their natural environment. I returned home with hundreds of documentary photographs, all painstakingly labeled. Unfortunately, my work was confiscated at the airport by U.S. Customs; it seems that importing photographs of great tits is against the law.
Great tits is just one example of what I call a pseudo-imprecation ... a word or term that sounds obscene, but is not. Most birdwatchers know that great tits are charming and sprightly songbirds that live throughout Europe and Asia. But to the average American, the term great tits evokes a different connotation. And this ignorance comes with a hefty price tag.
Every year, pseudo-imprecations cause Americans to waste thousands of hours and millions of dollars. Stockbrokers who suggest that colleagues try naked shorting have been charged with sexual harassment. Farmers growing nipplefruit and horny goat weed have been investigated by the FBI. Some of our finest senior citizens have been sedated - or worse - simply for describing themselves as sexagenarians.
It is time to take a stand. It is time to set the record straight. From arsole to bushmaster to cunt splice, dandy cock, and beyond, Butt Rot and Bottom Gas gathers hundreds of misunderstood words and reveals their true meanings. Whenever possible, the definitions have been supplemented by an elucidating illustration or a famous quotation that uses the word in its proper context.
If we work together, we can save hundreds of good, clean, eloquent words from needless desecration. The first step is to read this book carefully, study the definitions, and share them with your loved ones. The second step is to use these words in casual conversation as often as possible. Ask a waiter if his restaurant serves slippery dick. Ask a tourist if she speaks Anal. Celebrate the Feast of the Ass by inviting your friends and family to your home on January 14, and spend the day snacking on butt roast and monkey nuts.
Through education and exposure, we can make a difference.
-- Eric Groves, Sr.
Labels: 2007, amusement, books, conversations, drugs, family, food, friends, harmony, holidays, jon, languages, laws, maxed-out tags limit, money, presents, reading, sex, us, words
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